Huh, so this is death. Fun.I didn't really know what I expected, perhaps some sort of biblical punishment for all my sin. Maybe nothingness cause fuck religion. Maybe feeling worms playing peanuckle on my nose. Fuckin' song references I swear man. But no, instead I was in a bullshit fantasy voidTM, better just wait until I see disembodied voice which gives me cool, completely legit and balanced powerup.
"Yesterday
All my troubles seemed so far away
Now it looks as though they're here to stay
Oh, I believe in yesterday
Suddenly
I'm not half the man I used to be
There's a shadow hangin' over me
Oh, yesterday came suddenly
Why she had to go, I don't know, she wouldn't say
I said something wrong, now I long for yesterday..."
"Watch your tongue or have it cut from your head
Save your life by keeping whispers unsaid
Children roam the streets, now orphans of war
Bodies hanging in the streets to adore
Royal flames will carve a path in chaos
Bringing daylight to the night (night)
Death is riding into town with armor
They've come to take all your rights
Hail to the king, hail to the one
Kneel to the crown, stand in the sun
Hail to the king…"
"Sun is shinin' in the sky
There ain't a cloud in sight
It's stopped rainin' everybody's in the play
And don't you know
It's a beautiful new day, hey hey
Runnin' down the avenue
See how the sun shines brightly in the city
On the streets where once was pity
Mr. Blue Sky is living here today, hey hey
Mr. Blue Sky please tell us why
You had to hide away for so long (so long)
Where did we go wrong?... "
"I'll be the roundabout
The words will make you out 'n' out
I spend the day your way
Call it morning driving through the sound and
In and out the valley
The music dance and sing
They make the children really ring
I spend the day your way
Call it morning driving through the sound and
In and out the valley…"
It's been what 20, 30 minutes? Still nothin' and nobody? Fuck this.
"OI CUNT! GET OUT 'ERE OR ILL SING BABY, BITCH!" I shouted at the void, quite menacingly, If I do dare say so myself. Surprising only myself there was no reply.
"Baby, Baby, Baby OOOH!" I started singing the banshee-like song.
"FUCK OFF!" A disembodied voice replied to my god awful impression of a meerkat getting stretched to death.
"Finally the voice of my lord and saviour, probably-screen-sama has arrived, what do you have to offer me today?" I replied to my ohso gracious and willing audience member. Then I saw it, the thing I was waiting and singing for.
THE SCREEN! IT'S SO BRIGHT! FUCK ME AND MY EYES WHICH HAVEN'T SEEN LIGHT IN THE LAST TWENTY MINUTES! FUCK!
You have gained skill!
Gamer's Body
Your body is that of a videogame character, don't worry this game is 18+ ;)
Gamer's Mind
Fuck Mental Health and Mind Fuckery. Fuck it all!
ID Create
Fuck Having to go outside to level!
Fuck- This It? Don't I get to spin for like Perks but I take a negative or some bull- "Hey-" A screen cut off what was going to be a speech for the ages, one only rivalled by MLK jr. and Lil' Uzi.
Perk Gained!
Musical Genius
You know how to play and sing every song you have heard perfectly!
Flaw Gained!
ADHD
You know what this doe-
Ooh Music! Cool! Spin again!
Sigh.
Perk Gained!
Quick Learner
You learn every quicker! You want a Percentage? Fuck You!
Flaw Gained!
Sin Of Greed
You're a greedy fuck huh?
Again, again!
Perk Gained!
Big PP Soul
Your soul has been blessed with Big PP, this means your soul is 10x better than it should be! You also learn Soul based skills quicker!
Flaw Gained!
Sin Of Pride
Prideful sod piece of shit!
"Hmmmm, one more?" These words were dragged out.
Perk Gained!
Knucklehead Ninja
Just like the person this perk is named after, you too have a ridiculous pool of stamina, unfair some might say. You also gain an affinity for everything the original owner of this perk did, including but not limited to: Social ostracisation, wind powers, pranks and so much more!
Flaw Gained!
Dyslexia
English what's that? You mean the weird Moon symbols on the page?
Fuck "But I liked reading!", total fucking bullshit, worst game ever 0/10 will never play again.
Fuck you, Now pick your class.
[Fighter][Ranger][Mage][Bitch Ass Support Boy][Random?]
"RANDOM- I mean Mage" I Exclaimed then coughed, Randomness might be good, but I mean, Why the fuck would I risk not being able to use magic?
Mage Subclasses:
[Elementalist][Necromancer][Summoner][Illusionist]
Bitch ass hide behind my minions, create fake shit or control elements? You know my fucking answer.
[Elementalist Chosen:
First Element:
Fire
Earth
Water
Air ]
"Earth or Air, I ain't being A Zuko Knockoff or Somebody who fucks dolphins." Truly issues of the modern fanfic, "I mean Earth is Cool and all, but what if it's the type of magic which needs the thing to be nearby… And the fuck does it define by earth? Concrete count? Cause if not I'm fucked if I go to a modern fantasy world."
[Air Chosen]
Skill Gained!
Air Manipulation!
Manipulate the air around you! Create Skills by doing this!
"Cool, Now where the fuck am I going?"
WORLD SELECTION:
[RWBY][Nothing Else][No seriously][No other worlds]
"I guess RWBY then? Fuck, if I dont get to fuck the ice cream ima be pissed"
[RWBY PICKED]
[Pick Race:
Humans, Can't be getting too creative can we?
Faunus, Cat Boys are Hot]
"Why are Humans crossed out?"
You have chosen Faunus!
"No I didn't? The fuck?"
Pick Your Animal!
Cats only!
"The fuck you mean cats only?"
What I mean Dipshit is you pick a Cat-type faunus or I will get another newly deceased soul, Bitch.
"Ok, okay fuck me, Jaguar" I replied to the more than slightly scary message.
I will Fuck you catboy, just after you're old enough. Oh by the way I'm sending you in as a baby.
"The fuck?" Before I could formulate another thought the cold empty darkness I was in was replaced by a warm extremely tight darkness. 'Fuck me'