PART TWO ( NOTHING GOLD CAN STAY ) CHAPTER FOURTEEN:
014 || Odd Melacholy Feeling
"in which aurelia black just wants a break but lyra says no *heart emoji*"
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IT'S ONLY A small plan but it's enough to get her blood pumping. Aurelia thinks it's a brilliant plan that should be put into action immediately but Hermione thinks that they need to put more thought into it and above all else — tell Harry bloody Potter.
Aurelia rolls her eyes "Why? I mean, we don't have to keep it a secret or anything but why do we have to tell him first?"
"Well, he would teach us. He has the best marks in DADA, even better than I do," Hermione says and it look like it left her miffed to admit someone was better than her, "He'd be the leader of this group I'm thinking of."
Aurelia didn't have the best marks in Defense Against the Dark Arts, she wasn't failing and it was one of her better classes, and Aurelia knew a lot of spells. She may not be able to preform them properly but she knew all the hand movements and the pronunciations so she could probably teach others how to use these spells. She'd probably be better at teaching others how to use spells than she is at teaching herself.
"What about me," Aurelia says.
Hermione hesitates and Aurelia narrows her eyes, she grinds her teeth as the dark-skinned girl beside her becomes speechless. They both flush, Aurelia because of anger and Hermione out of embarrassment.
"Or are you forgetting that I was there too," Aurelia snaps, "I didn't fight Voldemort but I fought Goyle, Gwendoline fucking Goyle and I'm sure you know how skilled that bitch is when it comes to duelling. Despite her shite aim, she can take you the fuck out easily. And I survived her twice. Look, we don't need Potter. We could do this together. You, Neville, Ron, and I."
"Well —"
"Between the two of us, we know tons of useful spells. We could create an army! I could teach them instead of Harry."
Still, Hermione hesitates "Well, I'm sure you'd be a good teacher but it's just Harry is the boy —"
"Is the Boy-Who-Lived? And I'm what? Only just a murder's daughter. Technically, as far as everyone is concerned — a murderer herself," Aurelia says, feeling very angry and she can feel her eyes start to burn. She's going to cry, Aurelia tries to hold them back, she grinds her teeth together even harder.
Hermione frowns, hoping that Aurelia doesn't actually cry which is a lot for Hermione to hope for. Aurelia's expression, save for her eyes which get very glossy, goes cold.
"Oh, I see. Who wants to listen to a murderer, who would listen to a no good, filthy Black."
"I — that's not what I —"
"It's exactly what you meant," Aurelia says bluntly, "And, you're right who would listen to — to — to me."
"I would," Neville says, despite not hearing a single word of their previous conversation. He looks between the two girls, curious as to what they had been discussing. Hermione looks to be a bit flustered and annoyed, Aurelia looks indifferent but her eyes hold sadness and a hint of betrayal. Neville looks at Hermione quizzically, Aurelia had looked so excited going into the conversation not even five minutes ago, Neville wonders what Hermione had said to upset Aurelia this quickly.
"Talk to Saint Potter then," Aurelia says briskly, "Let him be your precious leader then."
Hermione cringes, giving Aurelia an apologetic look but Aurelia just gives her a cold stare before walks away from her. Neville gives Hermione one last glance, she looks a little confused now, then he follows after Aurelia.
"Hey, Ari," Neville calls, chasing after her, "Hey!"
"What," Aurelia snaps, wheeling around on him. She grinds her teeth and her red-rimmed eyes narrow, "What do you want?"
Neville blinks, completely taken aback by her harsh tone. He swallows thickly, momentarily forgetting what he was going to say, too surprised by the fact she had yelled at him. It's not like her to do that.
"I — well, I was wondering if you wanted to, uh, hang out after class . . . In — in my common room?"
Aurelia blinks, fixing the strap of her bag that had been digging into her shoulder "Oh, I — I guess . . . Aye, sure . . . We — we can do that."
Neville beams "Okay — okay, that sounds great! I'll see you at lunch then?"
"Aye, alright . . . And, Neville, I — I'm sorry I yelled at you, I —"
"It's alright," Neville says dismissively, "You're just having a bad day, you didn't mean it."
"It's not alright, I shouldn't have yelled at you like that," Aurelia says frowning.
"We should get to our classes," Neville says then quickly pecks Aurelia's cheek, "I'll see you at lunch!"
"I'll see you at lunch," Aurelia echoes quietly, fingers grazing over the spot on her cheek Neville had just kissed. Her heart races and an odd, dreamy sigh escapes her lips. Blinking, Aurelia quickly composes herself, hey! You can't feel this way about him anymore!
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ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ᴛʜᴇᴍ ɢᴏʟᴅ | ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ᴛʜᴇᴍ ɢᴏʟᴅ | ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ᴛʜᴇᴍ ɢᴏʟᴅ | ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ᴛʜᴇᴍ ɢᴏʟᴅ | ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ᴛʜᴇᴍ ɢᴏʟᴅ
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NEVILLE DOESN'T SEE Aurelia at lunch, no one does, and that's because she spends it locked up in a bathroom stall puking her guts out. Aurelia's not sure why, she had been feeling fine all morning then just mere seconds after lunch had begun she had been hit with a strong wave of nausea. Instead of making her way down to the Great Hall, she had made her way to the nearest bathroom where she had remained for the rest of her lunch.
The sickness had only lasted ten minutes at the most and by the time lunch was over, Aurelia had been feeling as right as rain. She's completely fine for the rest of the day right up until she has to go see Lyra.
She doesn't want to go see Lyra but Lyra would hunt her down and force that potion down her throat without a second thought. It's much easier for Aurelia to just willingly take it. So, begrudgingly, Aurelia finds herself in Lyra's office the potion that Abigale had called 'Cat's Tongue' is forced shoved into Aurelia's hands.
"Drink it," Lyra says snappily.
Aurelia slowly brings the goblet to her lips, preparing herself for the burn when she feels a pressure in her head. Lyra is inside her mind, Aurelia wants to push her out but she's not very good at Occlumency and even if she was she doubts she'd be able to push Lyra out even then. Lyra was a pro at Legilimency, Aurelia had heard distant family members talk about how talented Lyra was as a child and how they hoped that either Draco or Aurelia would pick up that talent so it wouldn't be just wasted on the traitor to the family. Unfortunately neither Draco or Aurelia were anywhere as good as Lyra was.
"Going to see your precious boy-toy? Are you, Juliet," Lyra says tauntingly.
Due to the fact that Aurelia is looking at the floor, she's got no clue if Lyra asked that out loud or if she had asked the question in her head. Either way, Aurelia scowls, one that quickly turns into a frown as intrusive thoughts begin to fill her head.
Aurelia lowers the goblet, clutching it to her chest as she sees Cedric's dead body flash in her mind, Goyle's taunting smile, Voldemort, and memories Aurelia hadn't thought of in years. Gritting her teeth, Aurelia tells Lyra to get out of her head.
"Make me," Lyra says, getting closer and closer to some of Aurelia's worst memories.
She sees the forest, she hears the crunch of the leaves, and Aurelia starts to cry. She sees the full moon bright in the sky, she begs Lyra not to go there and surprisingly Lyra doesn't. Instead Lyra digs further into her mind.
Aurelia hadn't quite ever been able to recall the memory surrounding this feeling that blooms in her chest as Lyra digs into a very, very early memory in her life. The feeling of warmth takes over her, she feels safe as she hears that familiar tune the only thing grounding her is Lyra who is smirking, the look in her eye unnerves Aurelia enough not to get too caught up in the memory.
The familiar tune comes from none other than Bellatrix Lestrange, who is holding her, smiling down at Aurelia softly; Aurelia must be very young in this memory.
"Stop," Aurelia says meekly, her hear hammering in her chest, the warm feeling quickly dissipating. But, Lyra isn't so kind this time. Instead she drags the memory to the top of Aurelia's head, making it the centre of Aurelia's focus and making her recall the memory that Aurelia shouldn't have ever been able to recall. Not this clearly anyway; it was almost as if the memory was taking place this very second.
Bellatrix is spinning Aurelia around the room slowly, trying to soothe her to sleep, probably. Through her vision she can see big windows and pale yellow walls swirling together. Her vision is very blurry, Aurelia's not sure if it's because she had been half asleep at the time or because the memory was so old. Bellatrix is singing to her, Aurelia feels warm and safe, her eyelids feel heavy and she's struggling to keep them open. She feels determined to keep them open, something in her is telling her to treasure this moment.
"Do you see that," Lyra says tauntingly, it's all Aurelia can see. Everything around her is a blur, the only thing she can see clearly is the memory Lyra had resurfaced.
Aurelia pulls at her hair "Stop, please."
Aurelia coos at Bellatrix who kisses her forehead, saying: "I know I'm gone a lot my little moon —"
A giggle fills the room at the word 'moon' and Aurelia feels oddly giddy and entertained. Apparently her baby self really liked the word moon. Man, Aurelia thinks, I would've lost my shit over cows —
"But, I try my best to make time for you." Bellatrix says, kissing Aurelia's tummy which elicits another giggle from Aurelia. Bellatrix goes back to singing and it takes Aurelia a moment to realise she knows this song.
It's Slipping Through My Fingers. It's an ABBA song. The Bellatrix Lestrange is singing a fucking ABBA song.
Aurelia pulls at her hair so hard she pulls chunks of it out. She crumples to the floor, trying to put as much space as she can in between her and Lyra. Anything to break Lyra's hold on her mind but Lyra's way too good at what she does.
"Please, Lyra, please st — st — stop it," Aurelia sobs.
Bellatrix continues to sing, she doesn't know all the words but she definitely knows the tune which leads Aurelia to believe this isn't the first time she's sung it for her. It must be some time around nineteen-eighty or nineteen-eighty-one, Aurelia's not sure exactly when that song came out but it was somewhere around that time.
"Mama," Aurelia says sleepily, reaching up her chubby to grab Bellatrix's blue cloak, "Mama moon."
"Yes, my dearest moon, mama's here."
Aurelia grabs fistfuls of the cloak, tugging on it and yawning: "No, ma — mama, no! Mama moon!"
"Oh," Bellatrix says softly, "I see."
Bellatrix cradles Aurelia close to her chest and spins around so that they're facing the big windows.
"Did you remember that," Lyra asks, hissing the question and despite the fact Lyra is towering above her, it sounds as though she's whispered it right in her ear.
"Please, let me — please, just stop," Aurelia cries.
Bellatrix kisses the top of her head, Aurelia coos softly as she stares up at the big, bright crescent moon in the sky. Aurelia hates the feeling this memory stirs in her, the affection and love she felt for Bellatrix, it disgusts her, knowing what this woman had down and yet she had loved her so much.
"Did you remember that, little Asterope Aurelia," Lyra asks while smiling tauntingly down at Aurelia who lay sobbing at her feet, the Cat's Tongue potion drenching Aurelia's clothes, "How much she loved you and you loved her?"
She turns back to Bellatrix, hugging her as tightly as a baby can manage.
"But, you weren't enough," Lyra laughs.
Aurelia's body grows cold because she knows Lyra's right. As much as she had loved Bellatrix and Bellatrix had seemed to love to her, she wasn't enough. She would never be enough.
The pressure on her head gets worse and the memory changes, Bellatrix is wearing a different cloak, when she looks up Bellatrix's face is bloody and swollen. She's crying too, actually crying tears and it surprises Aurelia because Blacks aren't supposed to cry. That's what her mothers, aunts, and cousins were taught, drilled into their brains, she knows this because Narcissa and Lucius had always been against it while she was growing up, allowing Draco and herself to cry as much as they pleased so long as they tried not to do at the parties. But, here the fearsome, emotionless Bellatrix was crying like a baby.
Aurelia can almost feel the tears on top of her head each time Bellatrix leans down to pepper kisses on her forehead.
This memory, although she's never remember it before today, brings a great sense of distress to Aurelia. The feeling was so intense that she couldn't imagine what it would've felt like when she was actually experiencing this as a baby. Aurelia doesn't like this memory at all, she doesn't like the fact that Bellatrix is crying, she doesn't like how Bellatrix looks — oh, fuck! What if this is the night that Bellatrix had attacked the Longbottoms?
Tears are falling freely down Aurelia's cheeks as she lies at Lyra's feet, begging her to stop her use of Legilimency; Lyra merely smiles wickedly.
"You're safe for sure now, my little moon. He'll never know now, he'll never have a reason to kill you now," Bellatrix says, whispering it against Aurelia's forehead repeatedly.
Suddenly the grin is wiped off of Lyra's face and replaced with a mesmerized expression, she looks down at Aurelia harshly demanding: "What's she talking about?!"
"How am — am — am I sup — sup — supposed to kn — kn — know I — I — I don't even r — r — remember this! Pl — please st — st — stop," Aurelia sobs, her head is throbbing and she wants nothing more than to die right where she's curled up on the ground.
There's a bang and Aurelia lets out a sharp cry as Bellatrix wheels around, one of her arms lets go to point her wand at whatever the noise was. At least that's what Aurelia assumes she does, she can't see anything because her baby self has gone and buried her face into Bellatrix's cloak.
"Trixie! Woah, woah! Settle down, it's just me — it's me, Frank. I — oh, good Godric, what the fuck have you done?!"
Aurelia's blood runs cold. Frank? Frank Longbottom? Apparently her baby self recognises his voice because she looks up but before she can get a good look at him the memory ends abruptly. Lyra has released her and Aurelia can't remember the memory any further, she hadn't remembered that memory before today until Lyra had brought it up.
Aurelia struggles to breathe because she's crying so hard, she's scared to ask but she does it anyway "Was . . . Was that the night the Longbottoms were attacked?"
It's only then as she's pushing herself to her knees and a piece of something sharp lodges itself into her inner thigh that she notices that she's gone and dropped the Cat's Tongue, the potion soaks her uniform and the stone floor underneath her, the goblet is missing a good sized chunk because it had shattered. Aurelia blinks watching the blood leak from her new wound, waiting for Lyra's answer.
"No," Lyra says, "What was Bellatrix talking about?! Who wanted to kill you?!"
Aurelia shakes her head slowly "I — I don't know! I was just a — a baby! I don't even remember that!"
Lyra doesn't get angry with her answer, surprisingly instead she grins. Looking very pleased with herself, like a cat who just got the cream she wanted "Oh, I think I know who and even why she was going on about that. I need to have a word with your father."
The tone of Lyra's voice sends a chill done Aurelia's voice, what was she talking about?
"Get up, I'll get you more Cat's Tongue and then you can be on your way to your precious little Romeo," Lyra says, summoning more of the potion.
Aurelia pulls herself to her feet, her entire body is shaking, the pressure in her head is gone but it still throbs, her arms and legs feel very sore, and all she wants to do is sleep.
There's an ache in her chest, an odd melancholy feeling — she's missing a woman that doesn't exist anymore. She misses someone she shouldn't.
Lyra hastily hands her another goblet of Cat's Tongue, impatiently telling Aurelia to hurry up. Aurelia takes the potion from Lyra's hands, her movements lethargic and she feels as though they aren't her own.
"Hurry up." Lyra hisses, her voice sounds far away.
Aurelia brings the potion up to her lips and drinks it. She doesn't fight it and spit some of it out like she normally does, in fear of further angering Lyra. Aurelia doesn't want to give the woman a reason to go back into her mind like that.
Tears slip down her cheeks, wondering yet again why Lyra hates her so. Once she's finished the potion, Lyra rips the goblet from her hands forces her out of her office "Have fun hanging out with Neville, little Asterope Aurelia!"
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AUTHOR'S NOTE:
Aurelia & Harry both with a lot of pent up rage and trying to deal with their trauma but only lashing out because of it vs. their friends just trying to help them but they keep misinterpreting everything they say, the teen angst is PIPING HOT. Obviously Aurelia is in the wrong for yelling at Hermione like that and Aurelia will eventually apologise but at this moment this is how she's coping with her emotions and it's clearly not well. So, like her and Harry have that in common at the very least. Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed the chapter please let me know what you thought of it in the comments, your thoughts/feedback means a lot to me!