A/N: Severus truly learns what it means to be deserving of love. I based this chapter off of something JK had said in an interview in which she said one of several reasons Snape joined the Death Eaters was so he would become a famed and powerful wizard, because he thought it would impress Lily and gain her respect/love. This illusion is shattered for him in this chapter as Severus comes to grips with the lies he's been fed by his ex-housemates and parents. He finally learns what Lily wants from him and power and prestige ain't it.

Chapter 10 I Want To Know What Love Is

A week after their trip to Diagon Alley, Mark and Violet were called away to Manchester to visit Mark's ailing mother. Her health had recently taken a turn for the worst and so her son and his wife planned a visit to stay with her overnight. Lily and Nana Gretchen had never gotten along well and she'd reacted very poorly to the news that Lily was a witch, very poorly indeed. Petunia too had a strained relationship with her Grandma, funnily enough, that was one of the few things the two Evans sisters bonded over, commiserating over the attitude of their Grandmother and the mutual disdain she held for them. So as Violet and Mark packed their bags for a one-night stay in Mark's mum's home, they briefed Petunia on her duties as the eldest of the house. Violet made Petunia memorize a list of duties and roles and recite them to her before she even contemplated setting foot outside the foyer. After a few minutes of grilling Petunia, Violet finally felt confident in her eldest daughter to maintain order around the house, and so she and Mark piled into the station wagon and began the drive to Manchester.

Naturally, Petunia couldn't care less what went on. The moment the adults were out the door, she whirled around to come face to face with her younger sister(who to her dismay was approaching her height) and Severus(to her even greater dismay, had now surpassed her and stood a proud 5'9"). She told the pair she had no intention of policing their every move and had much better things to do. Reminding them not to disgrace the Evans family name, or get arrested or do something foolish like that which would sully their reputation, she marched away, leaving the pair in stunned silence. Petunia herself had been gone all of five minutes, when all of a sudden, Lily came up with an idea she knew Severus would love. Hearing the faint echo of Petunia's voice on the phone in the upstairs hall, the two teens left the foyer and headed into the sitting room, with Lily leading Severus and guiding him onto the sofa. When Petunia's voice vanished and they heard the telltale slam of the door to her room, Lily whirled around to face Severus, her entire visage and body language radiating barely restrained excitement.

"Sev I've got an idea," Lily whispered, grinning conspiringly at him. "How about we go camping?"

"Camping?" Severus repeated, cocking his head sideways in confusion. His sense of confusion quickly gave way to incredulity as he scoffed; "Lily we can't apparate, there's no floo…and obviously neither of us know how to drive, let alone own a car, where on earth are we going to go camping? The back yard?"

"Not the back yard you goof, I mean at our spot!" Lily replied, thwacking him on the arm lightly. "We can grab our tent and head out there tonight! Wouldn't it be fun?"

Severus immediately looked uncomfortable with the idea, biting his lip, he shifted further into the seat but didn't reply to her suggestion. Lily took his discomfort as a sign he was unsure of her idea, not sure it would go according to plan like she'd hoped. "Think about it, you and me, a tent, two sleeping bags and nothing but the stars around us under the shade of our willow! Wouldn't it be so much fun? Wouldn't it be great to see the stars from our spot!"

Lily thought she was seeing things, but she couldn't have been mistaken, she was sure she saw a fleeting look of pure anguish cross her boyfriend's face; but just as soon as she'd seen that pained look, it was gone, thrown to the wind. "Alright Lily, we can do that," Severus said quietly, he appeared very uncomfortable with the idea.

"Are you sure Sev?" Lily asked, an expression of concern crossing her face. She reached out for his hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. "We don't have to if you don't want to. Honest. We can just stay here if you'd like. We shouldn't go if you're not…keen on it," she said softly, shifting closer to him and giving him a small smile.

"Really Lily, it's—it's fine. We can go. I was just a bit…surprised, is all…at your suggestion. We can go, it's fine," Severus replied, giving her a smile of his own.

Lily saw it didn't reach his eyes, and still her concern remained, but if he was giving her the green light, then she'd be a fool to pass this up. She vowed to get to the bottom of it later and root out the cause of his obvious discomfort with the idea and see just what was putting him off. Later I'll find out what's bothering you, Sev, for now, I just want to kiss you.

"If you're sure Sev, then alright, let's do it. We can go at Six Thirty?"

"Sure Lily. We can pack Sandwiches or something," Severus agreed, the slight quirk of his lips broadening into a real smile.

"Brilliant," Lily beamed. Her smile warmed his heart, he could feel it doing catapults in his chest, he just loved seeing her smile. He could hear his blood gushing in his ears, and his skin prickle just by seeing her smile. Merlin you do crazy things to me Lily, you truly are one of a kind.

"Thank you Sev. I really mean that. I'll make sure this experience'll be great for the both of us," she added, leaning closer.

Severus met her half way, his hand rising to cup her cheek in a well-practiced motion and guiding her lush lips the final few centimeters to his own. As always, their kisses started gentle, reverential in their movement and pace. His hand still cupping her cheek, and hers mussed in his hair, he gently guided her down and settled on top of her, their lips never parting for even a second. Gently, he lowered himself down to her, the hunger in his eyes flaring as their kiss turned violent, almost angry as they attacked the other's lips. Their kisses usually devolved to this, the insatiable Severus and Lily pursuing their desire to be as close as possible to the other as was humanly possible.

Lily's dainty, but surprisingly strong hand grasped the nape of his neck and tugged him even closer, trying to deepen their connection. The sudden motion caused his hip to briefly make contact with Lily's own, and neither teen could contain a wanton groan at the pleasant friction the contact afforded. Peeking his eyes open, Severus stared deeply into her eyes, feeling himself get lost in her desire. Their kiss turned even hungrier, as neither was satiated with the insofar too-gentle pace of their snog. Lily's hands left his neck, and began roving over his shoulder, and reached his sides, but when it seemed they were going lower, hoping to increase the wonderful friction between them, a loud shriek from the doorway and Severus leaping off the couch like a cat out of water, while Lily scrambled upright as fast as her limbs could move her. That terrible noise, like the leg of a chair scratching over a scuffed floor nearly had both Severus' and Lily's ears bleeding.

"What the hell are you two doing?!" Petunia shrieked from the doorway.

"N—nothing! What are you doing? Being nosey?" Severus shouted back, indignant at being intruded on by Lily's prissy sister.

"You were snogging on Mum's and Dad's couch, after we took you in off the street!" Petunia shrieked, pointing an accusing finger that trembled like a leaf in the wind at Severus. Petunia was furious, veins were throbbing on her forehead and she seemed seconds away from blowing a gasket and going completely spare. "I'm so telling them what you were doing! You're so—"

"Fine then Tuney, you do that and I'll tell them about when I caught you sneaking out to meet Robert last month!" Lily shouted back, cutting her sister off.

Petunia looked shocked, her glare moving from Severus to Lily. "You wouldn't dare!" She shouted, her tone disbelieving.

"I won't as long as you stay quiet," Lily replied, raising her hands in a gesture of placation. "Just…pretend you saw nothing," she continued, her tone dropping.

Petunia glared at her, the vein in her neck throbbing and her eyelid twitching in annoyance. Yet she did nothing, merely expel a huff and stomp from the room as quickly as she had appeared. She was gone and Lily could now breathe a sigh of relief. Lily sank back down onto the sofa, visibly relaxing and giving a cheeky little smirk at Severus.

"I didn't know you were one for using manipulation tactics, Lily," Severus smirked, lowering himself onto the sofa beside her.

"Yeah? Well when it comes to Petunia threatening to expose you snogging your boyfriend I like to think all bets are off," she replied, chuckling lightly as she leaned into his side.

Severus slung an arm over her shoulder and gave a snort of amusement. "That's fair," he agreed. Shifting slightly, he cast her a sidelong glance. "Say…have you ever thought of what it'd be like had you gone into Slytherin?"

"Me in Slytherin Sev? Are you serious?" Lily asked, she whirled around to come face to face with him. "You've gotta be joking. I'm a Muggleborn that's not even possible!" She almost laughed at the sheer incredulity of the scenario he posed.

"I never meant it as a realistic scenario, Lily. I only meant if you'd thought of what it would be like if you were in Slytherin, hypothetically. I mean…let's be honest, if you weren't Muggleborn you might've fit there. You would have made it in Slytherin if you ask me," he stated, giving her a serious look.

"Is that so? Isn't that the highest possible praise a Slytherin can give?" Lily asked, her brow arching as a subtle smirk curled her lip.

"What praise?"

Lily rolled her eyes, seeming as if the answer was blatantly obvious. "Saying I'd make it in Slytherin of course! That's like…the highest praise you Slytherins can bestow because Merlin knows you all think bloody highly of yourselves."

"Can't the same be said of you Gryffindors? Always bragging, always showing off about something or other of no consequence. That Potter and Black being a chief example."

"Not all Gryffindor are like that though Sev," Lily chided. "Like me for instance, since when have I been known to brag about anything?"

"Really Lily?" Severus asked dryly, giving her a withering look of disbelief. "How about the time you bragged to Flitwick about the new charm you'd created? The uh…the, Nature Floresco or whatever you called it. Or how about when you showed off your marks to—"

"Now that's not fair. I worked hard to achieve those marks! I studied my arse off for weeks in the library to score as well as I did, you were there with me!" Lily exclaimed loudly. A 'shhh' from Severus prompted her to drop her volume. "And anyways…my mum was asking for my marks, it wasn't like I was volunteering them and being like: 'hey look at me, I got mostly O's on my report card!' Besides…you've also been known to show off on occasion too, Sev so you're just as guilty of this as I am."

"Alright enlighten me then," Severus challenged, folding his arms across his chest. "When have I ever shown off as much as Potter or Black?"

For a moment, Lily seemed deep in thought, she glanced upwards to the ceiling behind Severus and bit her lip in apparent consternation, chewing so hard she nearly drew blood. All of a sudden, just when it seemed she was going to throw in the towel and admit she couldn't find anything, an expression of glee lit up her face and she glanced back down from the ceiling to meet Severus' curious gaze.

"How about that time you showed off to Slughorn your potion modifications? You thought that might get you in the Slug Club, didn't it?" Lily said, a grin of victory etched firmly onto her face.

"No," Severus muttered lowly, an angry scowl passing over his face. "It was for genuine advice. I'd hit a dead end and neither of us had the solution so I went to him. I wouldn't want to be a part of his stupid club anyways." Lily knew he was still bitter that she'd been invited to the club in her first year whilst Severus had yet to receive an invite. Granted, she'd brought him along as her plus one once before as a friend, but he'd spent the entire night sulking in the corner after Slughorn refused to engage him.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever Sev," Lily said, dismissively waving her hand. "Doesn't change the fact that you may not have bragged…per se, but you've at least shown off a bit about your achievements."

He simply rolled his eyes.

"Now that I think about it, you could've fit in Gryffindor better than me in Slytherin, irrespective of my blood status, in my opinion." Lily mused, looking deep in thought all of a sudden. Her thoughtful look flittered away, only to be replaced by one of contentment and happiness. She reached for his face and brushed a few stray locks of hair away so she could stare into his brilliant, impossibly deep, ensnaring eyes when she said; "you would've made a wonderful Gryffindor Sev, quite possibly one of the best, even."

"Me in Gryffindor?" Severus seemed incredulous at the notion, his tone had dropped and his brows had knitted together as he struggled to make sense of her seemingly nonsensical statement. Lily was understanding of his confusion, like she was of Slytherin, Severus was rather confused about the true core values of a real Gryffindor. "I thought we just clarified that I possess none of the tendencies that you and your precious lions covet? You literally just floundered for close to five minutes to think of an instance of me being a show off. So how in the name of Salazar would I make a good Gryffindor? I'm nothing like Potter and Black at all!"

The soft chuckle that left her lips caused an indignant frown to form on Severus' face, despite the warm feelings and lightened heart that sound usually created within him. "That's not what a true Gryffindor is, Sev," Lily explained calmly, once her laughter had died down. She glanced up from her lap to hold his gaze, eyes soft and warm as she explained; "A true Gryffindor is not just…brave, or foolhardy as you like to call it. Real Gryffindors…what it means to be a Gryffindor is to have courage, to do what you believe is right and stand by your convictions no matter what. Like me with you…Sev, and you with me as well. We both have that, don't we?"

"You mean…convictions towards each other?"

"Yeah. A Gryffindor stands true to their beliefs, and to the things they hold dear. When times get tough, we buckle down, stand fast, and remain unmoving against the tide. That's what you and I have been doing. All this time most of my friends have been trying to get me to stop being friends with you…they think you're going evil—" Severus laughed at the notion. "—And your friends, they wanted you to stop being friends with me because I'm a Muggleborn, they hate the fact that you're friends with me. Real Gryffindors don't give in to the pressure, they hold their beliefs close to them, and would do anything for those they care about. You have that, your loyalty to me…is unmoving and as rigid as the land against the sea," Lily rambled, still speaking in hushed tones so as not to alert Petunia.

"Y'see what I mean Sev? You've got all it takes to be a Gryffindor, dare I say you'd be a better one than Potter and Black, even," she added, chuckling quietly.

"I think I understand it a bit better now. Thank you," Severus replied, now that Lily's long-winded ramblings had finally reached their conclusion. He smiled appreciatively at her, it was a smile that reached his eyes which twinkled away far brighter than any star she'd seen; Lily felt her heart swell in her chest, a matching smile of her own soon adorning her face. She loved seeing him smile, it never failed to turn her innards all warm and fuzzy.

"Perhaps Sev…now you can explain to me what a real Slytherin is supposed to be like, so I can understand better, can you do that?" Lily asked, glancing over at him through his curtain of hair.

"I suppose I can try," Severus agreed, before sitting upright in his seat and clearing his throat in preparation for what Lily was sure would be a long-winded explanation of what it meant to be a Slytherin.

"Slytherins…are a complicated bunch," Severus began, his low explanatory drawl capturing Lily's attention and keeping it. "Cunning, resourcefulness, and an unwavering sense of self-preservation are what I'd say define a Slytherin the most…on the surface, at least. Further down…when you peel back the layers, there's a lot more to some Slytherins than some might think."

"Like what Sev? Can you tell me?" Lily whispered, sliding closer to him, thoroughly ensnared by his tale.

"Of course I will. When a Slytherin learns to value someone, someone so dear and precious to them…they throw self-preservation to the wind. To get between a Slytherin and someone they love…it's almost suicidal in nature, for you see…when we find someone to love…the loyalty we can bestow would put a Hufflepuff to shame."

"I already know that part," Lily whispered, moving even closer to him, lips mere millimeters from his. "I've seen all the sides of a Slytherin, the good and the bad…and I think I'm hooked."

This time, Severus moved first and planted his lips on hers, and this time, they made sure not to get carried away and keep a keen ear out for Petunia who always seemed to be lurking somewhere nearby. Thankfully, they weren't discovered this time round, and despite the seeming lack of passion, the kiss was as sweet as could be. Deep down, Lily knew the feelings Severus held for her ran deep, so impossibly deep she still hadn't found the depths to which his love for her went, but she knew in time…if she would just give it a chance her feelings would match his own. She understood in the here and now, that Severus' love for her was unparalleled, but one day…as her love grew, it would match his, and she'd be able to feel all the love Severus had to give. Severus wasn't lying when he said no one can love like a Slytherin, it was true, no one had ever made her feel this way, and she doubted anyone else in the world could.

Later that day, Severus and Lily popped down to the corner store to pick up some lunch, just a few sandwiches and some bottled juice for the pair of them and Petunia. Violet had given them a small allowance to spend over the twenty four hours she and Mark would be gone, as well as an emergency stash of money that wasn't to be touched unless there was an emergency, of course. They took their lunch out on Lily's balcony, overlooking their back yard, enjoying the gentle breeze that gave them an ample supply of cool air. As they ate, Lily discussed her plan for the evening, and while Severus seemed to be on board with it to the naked eye, his quite hums of approval and stiff nods told the redhead he wasn't entirely sold on her idea. She could read her friend quiet well and she knew for a fact that something was bothering him about her proposal to camp by the river.

So when they finally set off for the river later that, Lily finally decided to ask Severus what was bothering him. She hoped to be able to get to the bottom of it.

"Sev is something bothering you?" Lily eventually asked. The silence between them had been growing a bit too uncomfortable for her tastes.

"Hmm, what? Oh…no, no not really. Everything's fine," he said quickly.

He glanced over at her, it didn't look like she believed him, but she sighed, resigned, and nodded her head. "Alright Sev, if you don't want to talk about it that's fine. But I know for a fact that something is bothering you. You can't lie to me."

Severus chose to ignore her statement and the two continued their walk through Cokeworth towards the river. When they left Walnut lane, they navigated their way through a maze of streets, circumnavigating Spinner's End of course, before eventually finding themselves on the bank of the Cokeworth river. The river that divided the two parts of town they once belonged to. Quietly, they set laid down a large tarp and set their sleeping bags and liners down on the tarp. They shifted it so that it laid at the base of the tree, and sat up against the bark like they often did in the days before Hogwarts. Severus, who had packed their food, then distributed the sandwiches, fruit and drinks wordlessly. Their meal, once again continued in silence, it truly seemed like they were fully immersed in nature since the only sounds that met their ears was the buzzing of insects, the flowing of water, and the rustle of the wind through the reeds. It almost seemed as if they weren't in Cokeworth anymore and were an entire world away…but then the roar of a car sprinting past, or the creak of a ill-maintained swing-set shattered the illusion. They realized they were still in their little town, they hadn't left.

To Lily's shock, this time it wasn't she that had to breath the long-lasting silence between them, it was Severus extending the olive-branch, so to speak, and finally speaking up about the thing that had been bugging her all day.

"You wanted to know why this bothered me, right?" Severus asked quietly. He was crumpling the wrapper of his sandwich and stuffing it into the now-empty glass bottle he held when he spoke.

"If you feel up to telling me…then yes, yes I do want to know," Lily replied, she felt elated that she didn't have to pry to get to the bottom of what was troubling him.

Severus looked tired, the sigh passing his lips certainly solidified Lily's view of that. When he looked up from his lap and stared out through the reeds at the murky river beyond, he looked as if he was years older than fourteen, such was his seriousness, accrued from having to grow up quickly while living with his father. Lily tried to cheer him up, giving him an indulgent smile and hoped to give him the encouragement he needed for him to speak.

"The thing is Lily…you say you've never seen the stars before from here…but I have. Many, many times. All of this—" he said gesturing to the gloom around them. "—It isn't new to me."

Lily was confused, and her expression certainly showed it. "I—I don't understand Sev…what do you mean by that?" Judging be her tone of voice, she really hadn't a clue.

Severus heaved a loud sigh, and gave Lily an indecipherable look, the one thing she understood from said look was that it was time to shut up.

"What I mean, Lily…is that this isn't the first time I've been here at night. I've spent some nights here…many nights, actually…going all the way back to when I was five or six or so," Severus rambled, still speaking in hushed tones.

"You've spent nights here? Why would you do that?" Lily asked, glancing over at him concernedly. Severus was hunched in on himself, knees hugged tightly to his chest.

"My father," Severus said simply.

He needn't say more, for those two words alone had served as somewhat of a cruelly ironic catchphrase for him whenever he had to explain away something to Lily. Saying those two words was all it took for Lily to understand why he was so uncomfortable coming here at night, now that she knew it had something tied into Tobias Snape. Usually it was enough to satiate her curiosity, her desire to learn more, but today…it wasn't to be.

"Your father," Lily repeated, her tone level. "Can you—can you tell me what happened? It might help even, if you…talked to me about it, can you please tell me Severus?" she asked, trying to mask the growing sense of despair that had settled in the pit of her gut.

She wanted to know what had truly caused Severus to feel so…downtrodden, afraid really, of coming here, with her, in the dead of night to camp out under a blanket of stars. She wanted to understand, and although her voice was level, gentle, even…there was a subtle insistency to her tone that keyed Severus in that she wouldn't be denied an explanation that went beyond saying, 'my father'. She wanted to know more, and it seemed…that this time at least, she wasn't willing to let this go without a fight.

Severus gave a stiff nod, knowing that to fight Lily on this would be futile. She had her ways of pulling things from him, such was her grasp on his heart—on his soul. When Lily looked up, her eyes found his, and she saw nothing but anguish—raw anguish swimming about in his eerily open eyes. She felt her heart clench painfully in her chest at seeing him so hurt, in that moment, she wanted nothing more than to hug him and tell him everything would be alright. Lily shifted onto her hands and knees, moving towards him to wrap him up in a tender embrace, but his raised hand meant she never made it more than a step or two closer to him. Reluctantly, she sat back down on the tarp, still a few feet away from where Severus sat, waiting for him to continue his tale.

"When I was five…or maybe I was six—" he gave a meaningless shrug of his shoulders, "—don't really remember, but it's not important. Around that time, when my…my accidental magic started happening, my father…well he started becomin' more of the man he is today—" he shrugged again, as his eyes fell to the darkened grass beneath his feet. He grabbed a fistful of grass and shredded it between his fingers, "—thought he could beat it out of me, I guess…"

His voice trailed off, and so did his gaze, pulling up from the ground to stare blankly through the reeds at the far river bank, the shreds of grass falling from his fist. Everything about him, his eyes, his face, his voice…it all seemed null and void, like there was nothing inside and he was merely a machine recounting facts—there was no emoting behind anything.

"When things got bad…my mum found this spot and she brought me here. I think it was…yeah, it was a few days after my sixth birthday when I spent my first night here. Tucked right up against the trunk right there, see?" He was pointing at the base of the willow a little way's behind them.

Lily gave a dumb nod, she felt too numb inside—too hurt and pained at the revelation to speak coherently, but she just managed to squeak out a; "But Sev…it would've been bloody cold!"

Severus finally met her gaze, his eyes were crystal clear and not betraying a hint of emotion, but a small smirk curled his lip, "Warming charms exist, and my mum's a witch, Lily," he said dryly.

She would've face-palmed, but she was still to numb in that moment to manage that, she could only give a dumb-looking nod again. Heaving a sigh, Severus continued to ramble.

"So my Mum brought me here, I dunno how she found it, maybe used a locator charm or somethin', but she brought me here and tucked me in—" a small smile formed on his face at the memory, and Lily couldn't help the little twitch of her own lips in response. "She told me to stay, to not leave here until she came back for me…when da had calmed down a bit. She told me to be strong—to be good and—and to always look up, to always look to the stars—and that they'd give me guidance."

He looked up then, when his obsidian eyes finding the starry skies above him, his little smile broadened ever so slightly. Lily could see a thin veneer of tears in his eyes, but they didn't fall, they merely reflected the stars like the surface of the river beyond. She felt her breath catch in her throat just watching him, just seeing him at peace did that to her, despite the tears, he seemed as calm as could be. Still staring up into the star-filled sky, Severus started to speak once more.

"My Ma always told me that when you see stars, when you stare into the great, blackness of the night sky, you will always have hope…but it's up to you to turn that hope into a reality. She told me that—that one day…when I'm older…and when I become a respected…powerful wizard, I'd change the world. That—that I'd finally be worthy of respect, of admiration, and…" his voice trailed off into silence, but Lily had a good guess as to what he'd been on the verge of saying.

"And love. That's what your mum said, right?" She asked, throwing him a questioning look.

He nodded slowly.

"She's wrong about that," Lily said quietly, causing Severus' eyes to snap downwards onto her's. "You are worthy of love Severus, you are worthy of respect, and adoration, you don't need power to have those things. You have me, and I love you, I love you Sev, regardless of how…powerful a wizard you are. You don't need to have power to be loved," she said calmly, her voice unwavering in her conviction.

"But your mum was right about hope, Sev. You'll always have hope, always have a chance to do better, to be better, and the stars…if they serve as your guide, far be it from me to stop you," she whispered, sliding closer to him again.

Lily took his cool hand in her own and slid her fingers between his. She gave him a small smile, and those two actions alone soothed Severus' perturbed soul more than any calming draught ever could.

"I don't have power…I don't command respect, nearly everyone hates me and thinks of me as some greasy, dirt-poor halfblood…with no prospects…no future," Severus spat each word out as if it tasted foul, the bitterness and dejectedness radiating from his being made Lily wince. She had hardly heard him speak with this much anger before, and if she was being honest, she had no idea where these brutally self-loathing words were coming from.

"I—I just want to be someone you can be proud of, Lily," he murmured, his voice deathly quiet. "Someone you can respect, and be worthy of your love. What is it you love about me, when it's as clear as day that I have nothing?"

The underlying sense of despair in his tone, uttered with such assuredness cleaved Lily's heart in two, the two halves shattering into pieces in the face of Severus' perception of his self-worth. She felt tears spring to her eyes, her vision blurred as Severus finally revealed his inner most thoughts—his greatest fears, and his true thoughts on what he thought of himself. Anger mingled with fear, anger at how his father—no, his parents had brutally disemboweled his sense of self worth, had destroyed his confidence and made him feel as if he was worth nothing, as if he was nothing. Never since her trip to Spinner's End back in December had Lily Evans felt such rage towards somebody, for destroying Severus' esteem, and making him believe that he truly was worth nothing, just a footnote in the books of history.

"Severus they're wrong, they are all wrong!" She shouted, pounding her fists with such fury they cratered the tarp. Severus could hear the tears—the pain, in her voice; but he could also hear her anger, her brilliant, awe-inspiring, red-hot fury at those who had told him, year after year that he was nothing.

"Don't you believe what they say for even a second, do you hear me? You're not nothing, and you never were nothing! Not to me, or anyone with half a brain!"

She was shouting with all the anger she could muster, hurling her words at him, not to hurt him, but to make him realize that what he thought, what he felt, was all wrong, he was not nothing, and she needed to make him see that. "You don't need power, you don't need to command respect, there's so much to love about you without those things! Don't you dare listen to anything those imbeciles have told you because they're all wrong! I love you and you're worth everything to me, I don't give two shits about power!"

He was sure her shouting would awake half the neighborhood, such was the vehemence of her denial of his words. "You didn't answer my question," Severus pointed out quietly.

Lily had been breathing heavily, her chest heaving up and down as she expelled her anger at the people who had chipped away day by day at Severus' confidence. Gulping down the lump in her throat, her eyes drifted to his and held his gaze. She hoped the assuredness she felt, the certainty of her feelings would convince him, would at least do something to undo the years of brainwashing he'd undergone that had little by little, reduced his sense of self worth to all but naught. She hoped that her own strength of conviction would be enough to make him believe, that he was worth everything in her eyes, because Merlin knew she hated seeing him so down-trodden, so defeated, but up until today, she'd never known the root cause of it all. It had been a closely guarded secret and the redhead had absolutely no idea that Severus thought so poorly of himself, that it had been a thought fed by the words of those around him. She knew now though, she knew the secret of it all and it made her blood boil, she knew how his very parents, the people that were supposed to care for him and love him, and his housemates at school, constantly sneering down their noses at his inferior blood-status had cut into his self-perception until he truly believed that he was worth nothing in their eyes.

It broke her heart into a million pieces that Severus truly believed with all his heart that he had to be powerful that he simply must have strength and respect in order to have some self worth, in order to be worthy of love…her love. It was up to her to show him, to prove to him that no matter his strength, no matter of the respect he commanded, his heart, his mind, his complete and utter brilliance was what she loved. Did she care that he was poor? No! Did she care that he was not conventionally handsome? No! Did she care that he held no semblance of power, that as of now, he was nothing but a boy, just as she was nothing but a girl? Not in the least! What she did care for, what she did love about Severus went so far beyond the material; she ached at the very notion Severus had no clue towards what she loved about him, but she also blamed herself for not making it clear to him. Hardening her resolve, whisking away her anger and replacing it with compassion, she reached out for him and laid a gentle hand on his. She'd be lying if she said his sharp intake of breath was not a relief, because it was.

"Sev look at me," she said softly, all traces of her anger gone, replaced with copious amounts of tenderness that made him smile, in spite of it all. "You asked me why I fell in love with you, and what I love about you? You want to know why I love you despite the fact that you're not a powerful person, and that you're not in a position of strength, right?"

He nodded once, his eyes still trained on the ground. The buzzing of insects, the whisper of a gentle breeze, and the sloshing of the river were the only sounds they heard, aside from Severus' breathing that is. He didn't say a word as his main concern was keeping the tears that threatened to fall internal as Lily's compassion hit him with full force.

"It's like you said, Sev….about the stars, I feel the same…I feel the exact same," Lily insisted, silently imploring him to believe her. "When I look at you, and I mean…really look at you, inside and out, all of it, I see what you see up there. I see the opportunity of a lifetime, Sev, do you get what I mean?"

Again, he nodded, and when he looked up, Lily saw he was at war with himself. Years worth of people all around him telling him he was nothing, that he was worth nothing, threatening to be undone by her confessing that she loved him in spite of all that he thought he lacked. His insecurities had gotten the better of him, had made him believe what he was told incessantly, but standing against the tide was Lily, telling him the opposite of what he was lead to believe all these years. Here she was, his red-haired angel holding firm against the deluge of repugnant thoughts others had led him to believe.

"You are the most brilliant person I know Sev, you're smart, you're funny, your resolve…it's incredible, just seeing you, every day, it fills me with such joy. You're a wonderful person Sev and if you just…showed it more, others would see what I see in you," Lily explained, she knew she was rambling but she didn't care, she'd speak for hours—days even, if that's what it took for Severus to finally understand what love was, what her love for him was, and how power, respect, prestige…none of those things were necessary. Not for her. Not when she could see what a brilliant, indomitable young man he was.

"What I love about you Sev is your intelligence, your conviction, but most of all…your heart—" his look of disbelief pained her, so she soldiered on. "—What I mean…is that you never quit. Ever. You never give up, you never throw in the towel, you persist, you fight and you win. Against all odds you prevail, and it's because of this in here—" she slowly reached out and placed her palm flat on his chest, she could feel it beating rapidly. "—Your heart Sev…it's the most beautiful thing about you. And that…is what I love most, because I've never met a man like you, someone who never quits, always fights…a man whose resolve can move mountains," she murmured.

He gave a single nod, but Lily could tell he was still struggling with what she was saying, he almost seemed at war with himself, Lily's words uttered with conviction of the highest order at war with years and years of people telling him otherwise.

"You don't have to change a fucking thing Sev. Power? Respect? You don't need those things for I love and I certainly don't. Look at me and tell me I'm lying."

Their eyes found each other's, and for a long moment there was silence between them. Lily didn't flinch under Severus' penetrating gaze, her chin was held high and her eyes were set firm, backed by her will. She looked defiant, almost daring him to call her a liar, and for several moments they sat there; until his gaze softened and his eyes dropped. He seemed placated with what he'd found.

"You love me," he whispered, "you love me in spite of all I lack."

She moved towards him slowly, inching across the tarp. When she reached him, her arms wrapped around his back in a loving embrace. He let her. Before long, the tears began to fall, and her arms began to move. She murmured sweet nothings in his ear, assuring him over and over and over again that she did love him, in spite of all that he perceived he lacked. She repeated her words like a mantra until finally, at long last, he was set free, soaring high above the oppressive clouds he'd been resigned to by his parents, his house mates, for years and years.

Her lips by his ear, she whispered; "To me Sev, you lack nothing. Your heart is all I need, your beautiful, wonderful heart. You keep being you, and you show the world just how great you really are, prove to the world just how smart and talented I know you are. You do that and I promise to you that I'll be here by your side always. Y'hear me? Always."

They collapsed onto the tarp, and rolled onto their backs to look up at the stars. His tears had stopped, and once more, he looked up at the great beyond and he saw the hope for a better future his mum had always spoken about. In this regard, Eileen Snape was right, the stars did represent hope, they represented a chance for a brighter future and Severus had clung to that. He'd clung to any opportunity he had to better himself and move towards a brighter future. Eileen Snape's other nugget of wisdom, however…that her poverty-stricken son somehow needed wealth, or power to be successful, to be worthy simply wasn't true at all. Power corrupts, and Lily was more than aware of that, it was one of Dad's first teachings after all having witnessed it first hand during the war. Lily knew Severus lusted after power in an effort to advance himself, but he too had finally learned that pursuit of power almost never ended well.

Smiling at the thought, she reached for his hand, dragging her thumb across the smooth skin of his palm, his skin warmed at the sensation and he looked over at her. Still staring upwards into the great beyond, Lily asked; "What do you see Sev?"

He shifted onto his back again, their hands still entwined as he answered; "I still see hope. I still see opportunity. I see a chance for a better life as long as I continue to work hard and try to be the best. I see a future…that in every iteration ends with you."

He glanced over at her and was rewarded with her lips curling into a smile. "I see that too Sev. I see you and me, side by side, the greatest Potions Masters the world has ever seen. I see you and me, standing there, receiving award after award for all our contributions, all we've done…" she looked over at him, her eyes and her entire visage radiating infectious confidence. "I see you and me being the very best versions of ourselves, doing the very best we can. At the end of the day Sev…that's all that matters to me. I don't give a rat's arse about power, or prestige, I just want us to the best versions of ourselves."

"I can live with that," Severus smiled.

They inched closer to one another, Lily's hand reached out to brush a lock of raven colored hair from his face, as he did the same with her auburn locks. He covered the last few centimeters and planted his lips on hers. There was no rush, no sense of urgency, so they allowed the kiss to ebb and flow like the waters of the river just beyond them. Lily could feel a shift in him, it was evident in the way he kissed, he was more confident, assured of himself, he no longer kissed her as if—as if each one might be his last. When Severus caressed her lips, and slipped his tongue past and into her mouth, it was with a certain sense of assuredness that this sure as hell wouldn't be the last. Her heart ached as she recalled the desperation he'd put into all their kisses in the past few months, yet it soared above the clouds as Severus finally understood her, and how she could love him. It was all worth it.

A/N2: I've put off Severus and Lily leaving to America long enough already, so I promise it'll finally be occurring in the next chapter. I'll be honest, the reason I was delaying it was so I could do a little bit of world-building of my own to construct my view of what American wizarding society in the early 70's was like. That and I wanted to map out my vision of what Ilvermorny will be like since there's so little that we know of it. I also had to a bit of research so that I can do the next chapter justice and ensure the world they'll be entering is properly crafted. Thanks for reading!