AN: this chapter contains topics (infertility) that some people might find upsetting.

it might seem a little early to be talking about babies and children for these two but with myself and my husband we did discuss it very early on so it seemed normal-ish for me.

Enjoy! and Thank you for all the lovely reviews so far :)

Five

I awoke late morning to find him gazing down at me while I slept.

"That's not creepy at all," I muttered, my brain slowly waking up.

He laughed but didn't move away. Instead, his hand moved to gently stroke my cheek, brushing the mess of curls from where it was falling into my face. I stretched and sat myself up.

"A little birdie told me that you helped my dad last night," he told me,

I looked over at him to gage his feelings, he didn't seem irritated or unhappy that I had introduced myself, in a way, to his father.

"Yeah, sorry," I explained, "I tried to wake you, you wouldn't budge."

He grinned, "Sounds about right."

"You don't need to be sorry though," he added, "It was kind to help him, thank you."

I smiled.

"No problem."

"You have, however, made a liar out of me and now my dad is giving me grief. He also would like to meet you properly."

Having only helped reluctantly last night, I wasn't sure if meeting his father properly was such a good idea. It had been dimly lit in the night and it was likely that he'd not been able to make out my looks clearly in the dark. Daylight however would make the secrets known.

"Now," Jake added, "before you overthink it as I can see you're heading that way. I assumed he had seen you, so I spoke to him, I told him about you, who you are – which he's a little skeptical about by the way - and why it is so incredibly important that Charlie doesn't ever lay eyes on you. He promised to keep our secret because you are so important to me and I don't want you to stay away. He understands and he won't give you away."

I swallowed nervously; I wasn't sure about this but something he had said had stuck a cord. His father needed to know at least in part so that I wouldn't have to stay away. I hadn't enjoyed my days away at work as I had used too, part of me had been far away. Part of me had been here with him and it had made being in Olympia difficult. I didn't want to stay away.

"Ok," I agreed.

"You ready?" He asked.

No.

I followed him anyway. My footfalls were heavy, uneasy and unsure at the idea of meeting his family properly. On edge at the thought that this could go so horribly wrong if his dad didn't keep his word.

"Remember your promise dad?" Jake reminded him, before gesturing to me to join them.

I saw the recognition flash through Billy's eyes when he took in the sight of me. He glanced between his son and me as he took the information he had been given and figured out the woman who stood beside his son. Jake reached out and grasped my hand in support.

"Nice to meet you properly my dear," he greeted, approaching, and reaching out to shake my hand.

I smiled and gently shook his hand.

"It's nice to meet you too," I told him honestly, despite my reservations it was genuinely nice to meet Jake's family.

The morning went by in a blur of conversation, getting to know one another. The more time I spent beside Jake and his father the more I didn't feel out of place. He made me feel like I belonged.

Whenever he would pass me he would touch my hand, my arm, my back, anything to show me he was there, beside me. Not that he needed to physically touch me to show me he was nearby, I always knew. Could sense his presence in a way I would never understand.

His father's look followed those movements. I blushed a lot that morning, so much so that Jake began to notice and suggested a walk.

Midday found us together on the freezing coastline, talking, learning more about each other. Competing to see who could throw pebbles the furthest into the ocean. He won, and I was not graceful about it. Challenging him with stubborn determination to a rematch, which again I lost. My irritation made him laugh, his laugh lifted my spirits and made warmth spread through me.

Despite the happy feelings, irritation won out and I threw a handful of pebbles at him in annoyance. He laughed harder at my tantrum, before striking quickly to pick me up and encase me in his arms.

"I think I should throw you in the sea for that!" His tone gave nothing away,

"I'd like to see you try," I scoffed at his threat.

As if he could throw me in the water without me stopping him. His eyes locked onto mine and I felt that connection between us making my brain stutter and struggle to find its thoughts. Next thing I registered was the icy cold water seeping in through my jeans.

His amusement was clear. I wanted to punch him.

"Are you going to help me up or not?" I questioned, still irritated.

He was close to laughter as he made the mistake of reaching his arm out to help me, only for me to yank him into the shallows along with me. Unfortunately, he wasn't anywhere near as annoyed by this as I had been. Laughing heartily before splashing water at me.

It was hard to avoid giving in, enjoying the carefree nature that Jacob emitted. We were discovered mucking about in the shallows by Quil, he was there with a young woman, a teenager, whom he introduced as Claire.

Her face lit up in amusement at the sight of us acting like fools, I stood to say hello but was dragged back into the water before I could fully rise. Soaking my hair and tee thoroughly. I shoved him hard but all that did was bring back the infectious laughter.

Quil had come by to say that Sam had the BBQ heating up and we were welcome to join them. Jake, who seemed to be constantly hungry, was quick to accept the invitation.

We returned to his house briefly to dry off and change before heading over to Sam and Emily's house.

The familiar house was full of life when we arrived, so many people around that I began to grow anxious.

"Is this a good idea?" I asked

"It's just the guys and their families, they won't say anything."

He seemed certain but I wasn't as convinced. I stayed close to Jake almost the entire time, only leaving his side when Emily whisked me away to where she sat with another woman, slightly younger than herself. Her hair was dark like most of the people gathered today, it was shoulder length with a slight wave to it. Brown eyes sparkled with curiosity as she watched me approach.

"Ren, this is Kim, Jared's wife," she introduced.

I smiled kindly and took the offered seat beside her.

"Hey," she greeted, "welcome to the family."

I sat beside them both, attempting to join in their conversation but I had no children to complain or gush over. I had no husband who didn't pick up his towel off the bathroom floor or leave the toilet seat up. I didn't have much to input in this conversation.

I got from their chatter that Kim and her husband had one son, seven-year-old Jack, who was currently pestering his father across the garden. I glanced over at them playing as she mentioned them again but as I did so a voice caught my attention.

"Jake, you can't be serious?" I heard the voice from across the garden. My brain picked up on his name as easily as it did my own now it seemed. I glanced slyly in the direction of where he stood. A woman stood beside him, the resemblance between them told me who this woman was.

"Rach, don't." His reply was low, full of warning.

"How can you even stand to look at her? She's one of them," the latter part of her sentence muttered low as if it had just occurred to her that I might be able to hear her.

"No. She isn't," he spat, the tension he felt at this conversation was evident in the set of his shoulders.

"Seriously? Just one look at her and I know she doesn't belong here. Jesus, Jake, her outfit alone would have told me that. That sweater must have cost more than I'd earn in a month!"

"So, you're jealous?" He replied, he was amused now.

"Don't be ridiculous," she responded though her anger seemed to be subsiding at his words, as if she were embarrassed.

"Can't you just let it go? She's a good person and despite what you think, she does belong here. She belongs with me."

"You ok, Ren?" Emily asked suddenly. Drawing me back to the two women I sat beside.

"Are we boring you?" Kim chuckled.

"Oh no, not at all," I replied quickly, refocusing my attention on the conversation I was supposed to be involved in.

"Sorry in a world of my own just then," I explained with the well-rehearsed lie. My dad and my aunt were frequently losing focus on the people around them and when in public this was always the response they used if asked. Most people accepted that response readily.

Their conversation picked up again and I focused my attention on their day to day lives. Emily worked at the local library while Kim was a part-time hairdresser. Emily chatted about the kids that visited with the school last week and Kim told a story of an incident involving pink hair dye and an elderly lady. She had spent a long time fixing the at home dye job it seemed.

After a while, their conversation fell silent for a just moment and it was then that I heard it, the tiny fluttering sound of a fetal heartbeat, approximately 16 weeks by its size. The sound came from Kim, and I believed I must have missed that aspect of their conversation.

They asked after me and I edited for Kim's benefit, telling fragments of truth. It was then that Jake reappeared beside me. He bent his head low to my ear and whispered.

"Seth's just got here, he says his mom and Charlie are heading over. We gotta go,"

I nodded, stood, and thanked Emily.

"It was lovely to meet you," I told Kim, "Congratulations by the way."

She frowned, a deep V appearing on her forehead as she thought through my words.

"What for?" She asked.

"The baby," I replied, watching her face change dramatically.

"I'm sorry," I added, quickly, "I shouldn't have said anything."

Jake pulled me away then, leaving me to feel the guilt settling in my stomach. Maybe she hadn't mentioned it after all. Maybe I'd ruined the surprise and blurted it out in front of Emily and Jake like an inconsiderate idiot.

When we were safely away, I broached the subject I'd been avoiding. It was hard to admit to eavesdropping even if you hadn't intended to do so.

"Your sister doesn't like me?" I asked, feeling his body stiffen beside me.

"You caught that huh?"

I nodded, "I truly didn't mean to eavesdrop, it seems I'm as attuned to your name as my own today."

"Nah, don't worry about it," he waved off my reply, "she wasn't exactly trying to keep her opinions quiet."

"She really doesn't like me," I repeated, feeling more hurt by the woman's instant rejection than I would have expected.

"She doesn't know you," he spoke softly, attempting to reassure, "she'll come around."

We continued walking towards his home; I was overthinking everything when he spoke again.

"Why did you say that to Kim?"

"I'm sorry?" I asked,

"Why did you congratulate her for her baby? Jacks like six now," he said, his eyebrows knitting together in confusion.

"He's seven actually and I wasn't congratulating her for him. She's expecting, I heard it." I explained.

Jake stopped walking.

"What's the matter?"

"She's pregnant?" He questioned.

"I heard it's heartbeat," I assured.

"Well, isn't that something," he said, beaming.

He started walking again and I hurried back to his side.

"I'm not following," I told him.

He stopped again and turned to me; his face delighted by what I'd said.

"Jared and Kim wanted a big family, I mean a big family," he started, "it was a dream that didn't come true for them. They had Jack with no problems, and then nothing. It caused them both a lot of heartache. If what you say is true, then it's the best news for them."

"There's no 'if' in this, okay. I know what I heard. I see women every day in various stages of pregnancy, I know what I'm hearing."

He beamed at me, "then that's fantastic."

He continued walking then but something about how he spoke got to me. His manner, his words made me hurt in a way I wasn't familiar with. I imagined how he'd feel if it were me, if I were the one expecting his child and knowing that dream would never be. I imagined his happiness seeping away until there was nothing left and all because of me, because I couldn't fulfill that dream.

"You're doing it again," he told me, snapping me out of my thoughts.

"God, Ren," his voice grew anxious, "why are you crying?"

He brought me close before I could make a move to protest.

"What if I can't?" I asked hesitantly, the words muffling against his shoulder. He heard me just fine.

"Can't what?" He questioned, moving to stroke my arm softly.

"Have children," I clarified.

I felt his chest tense ever so slightly. He hadn't been expecting that.

"I don't think we need to worry about that right now," he told me, his tone nonchalant, attempting to brush my worries away.

I stepped out of his arms, growing annoyed. I didn't want him to ignore my concerns. I wanted him to understand.

"I'm serious."

"So am I."

"No, you're not listening," I spoke firmly, trying to get my point across, "what if having children isn't an option for me? What if I can't give you children?"

He frowned, the point of the conversation finally hitting him, "what are you trying to say?"

I knew I would hurt him to verbalize it, but I had to do it. There was every chance he wouldn't want me when he knew but I wouldn't hold him to me on a lie.

"I don't bleed Jake," I admitted, feeling the blush creeping up on my face as I said it, "I'm not human, even if I look like one. I don't get periods or anything else. I think it's highly likely to presume I'm sterile."

'The offspring of a horse and a donkey, a mule is a useful working animal but is entirely sterile and incapable of breeding.' It was a fact I had read in a book once and it had stuck with me. Burned into my brain. I was the mule here.

He watched me for a long moment, taking in my admission. He strode towards me and brought me close again.

"Doesn't make a difference," he told me, trying to hide the emotion in his voice, "I'd want you till my dying day regardless of whether we have kids. Family is what you make it after all. The day I met you, you became my family, my everything and nothing will change that."

I cried as a feeling of relief surfaced. I clung onto him and it felt as if he mourned that loss of potential along with me.

We didn't speak much that evening, eating quietly while Billy was present before retiring to Jake's room. We didn't discuss it any further. I fell asleep beside him, tucked safe into his embrace. I wasn't aware that he'd left me that night until I woke in the early hours.

I wasn't much of an early riser, what with recurrent night shifts but the emotions of yesterday had taken a toll. I felt as if I hadn't slept at all, rolling over to seek him out only to find his side of the bed empty and cold.

I went in search of him when I realized his absence. I moved silently through the house, stepping outside into the cold, and surveying the area. He didn't have any neighbours it seemed. No other properties could be seen from his front yard.

I sat on the porch steps, staring out into the darkness of the early morning. The sun began to rise as I sat there, waiting in hope he'd appear. I noticed movement in the forest that surrounded their residence and turned to where the sound had come from. I saw him briefly in his wolf form, I stood at the sight of him but as I did so he disappeared back into the trees.

Saddened, I collapsed back onto the step.

He appeared beside me while I was lost in my own thoughts. It was only when he pulled me close did I realize I'd been crying again. It hurt, the feeling of failure that I felt so often in this world of others. Only in the human world, career focused as I had been, did I feel a success, maybe I would never belong here as I had been so hopeful of the previous morning.

"What's wrong?" He asked,

Despite my feelings, I instinctively snuggled closer to him, my cheek pressed against his bare chest. I focused on the sound of his heart beating beneath my ear. Taking deep breaths and calming myself to stop the tears from falling.

"Sorry," I apologized without thinking or explaining my words.

"Don't be."

"But I am," I argued, "It's my failure and I shouldn't burden you with it."

"That's ridiculous," he replied calmly.

"Is it?"

"Of course," he was firm in his reply, "it's not a personal failure to be infertile, Ren. It never is and never will be. Whether we have children someday or not, it is never something you've failed at."

I didn't say anything for a long moment, and he spoke up again.

"I mean it, Ren," his tone was unbending, he meant every word he said, "no matter what happens with us, kids or not, you haven't failed me or yourself. I meant what I said earlier, it doesn't matter to me. I wanted you, cared for you the moment I met you and I will want you with me no matter what."

I unburied my face and looked up at him. Our eyes met and the words came out of me like a confession.

"I want to be with you too."

It wasn't like the movies, what happened next. It wasn't dramatic or fuelled by passion. It was tender and full of deep emotion that burned my soul. He bent his head down to mine and kissed me.

"Well, that was unexpected," I uttered as he released me.

"That bad, huh?" He smirked.

"No," I told him, digging him in the ribs with my elbow.

"It wasn't bad," I spoke honestly, "it was perfect."

I laid my head on his shoulder, and an easy smile fixed itself on my face.

"Wait," he spoke after a moment of silence, "was that your first kiss?"

I blushed; it was all the confirmation he needed from me.

"Damn," he cursed, "Come here, I can do better that that."

I laughed into his chest.

"Oh, shut up,"

He laughed along with me then and we watched the sun rise together forgetting our troubles for today.

The next day dawned brighter than the previous one. Hints of the coming spring lingering on the breeze. We had waited out on the step watching the sunrise together, only going back inside for breakfast.

I studied his movements around his small kitchen. It seemed he knew the recipe for pancake batter without needing to look up the quantities. Cooking was not my strong suit, so I sat this out, content to watch him as he prepared the food for himself and his father, and one solitary pancake for me.

He ate a full plate of pancakes and bacon, while I picked at my small plate.

"I need to help dad get ready," he told me, "I won't be long."

He kissed the top of my head and went to leave.

"I'll just be outside for a bit," I replied. He nodded and left me then.

I abandoned my breakfast and strolled back outside. While Jake was preoccupied, I took myself away to do what was necessary for me. Sprinting deep into the woodland, I lost myself to my senses. Letting go of everything that made me human. I took down the doe easily, drinking from her till there was nothing left. I hid her body in the bushes and headed back towards his home.

I felt energized when I returned to the house. Billy was now beside Jake at the table for breakfast. I said good morning before excusing myself for the bathroom. I brushed my teeth thoroughly and returned to where they both sat. Empty plates sat before them. The tv was on now, the news playing quietly as they nursed coffee.

I went to take a seat but Jake pulled me into his lap instead. I blushed at the intimate gesture, it seemed almost inappropriate with his father present. Billy seemed not to notice though, his attention was focused on the news reporter.

I followed his gaze and almost gasped aloud at the photo that appeared on the screen. It was the woman, the dead woman. Her face was vibrant and full of vitality in the photo chosen by her family. Her name was Erin Coles, she was 28 years old and had been missing from her home in Port Angeles for over three weeks now. Her parents were pleading with the public to report anything they saw to the police.

Jake grabbed my hand, held it tightly in support. I understood why he'd pulled me close to him now. This wasn't easy viewing, and he was keeping himself calm with me there, just as I was taking comfort from him now.

Another image followed after, another woman, younger this time. Blonde and tanned, was missing from her home in Seattle. A feeling of dread rose inside me, what if it hadn't been innocently done? I was aware that in part my theories had been wishful thinking, but it was difficult to imagine someone being sadistic enough to force that fate on a young woman.

I took a deep breath, steading myself against the horrified feelings. He squeezed my hand then, and put his arm securely around my waist. Moving an inch forward to whisper in my ear, sending involuntary shivers down my spine as his breath touched my skin. The words were not romantic in the slightest but it didn't stop the feelings.

"I'll contact the others," he informed me, an edge to the way he spoke that I didn't recognize, it made me nervous, "we're going to need to talk about this."

"They might not be related," I reasoned speaking low so Billy wouldn't hear, "people go missing all the time."

"Very true," he agreed, "still better to prepare for the worst case scenario."

I couldn't argue with that. It made perfect sense. There was no harm in being ready for any eventuality.

The news finished and he whispered to me again.

"Play along,"

"What time did we say we'd meet Quil and Claire today?" He questioned, loud enough for his father to hear him this time.

"Oh," I replied, feigning panic. Making a show of checking my phone screen for the time.

"I said we'd be there at 11, got about 15 minutes?"

He nodded, "best get sorted then."

We said goodbye to Billy and went back to Jake's room to change and talk in private.

"You going to call the others?" I asked to his back, he was giving me privacy to change at that moment. Facing away from me.

"Yeah, I'm texting them now."

His head was bent slightly over his phone as I pulled on fresh jeans and a clean tee. He turned back to me as I was digging through my rucksack to find clean socks. I sat on the edge of his bed once I'd found them, and he came to rest beside me looking concerned.

"You know it's probably not related?" I asked, despite my earlier nerves I knew in my heart and my head that it was highly unlikely the two disappearances were linked.

He shrugged, "you're probably right," he admitted.

"My thoughts on it still stand though," he told me, "Better safe than sorry."

He smiled at me and stood, fetching my sneakers from beside the door. He handed them to me and I pulled them back on quickly.

"Where are we going?" I asked, as I stood, ready to leave now.

"To Quil's place," he told me, offering me his hand.

I took it willingly and walked with him, wishing Billy a pleasant goodbye before heading outside into the dim light of a cloudy day. It drizzled slightly as we walked casually towards Jake's car. Mine was parked beside it from when I'd followed him here a couple of days ago.

His car was significantly older than mine, it was a car that even I would deem to be ancient. It ran fine though; he'd told me about his mechanical experience and how he was pretty much a self-employed mechanic around here. It didn't take much time to reach where Quil lived. A humble house, likely 2 bedrooms at most, was where he lived.

We jumped out of the car and headed over to the door. Jake didn't knock and instead simply let himself in.

"Quil?" Jake called out into the seemingly empty house.

"Outside," his friends voice replied.

We headed through the small house and out the back again.

We found them sat around a wrought iron garden table, a useless parasol stuck through the middle which didn't offer much in way of protection from the elements.

"Lovely day for a chat, Jake," a voice I didn't recognize spoke. I assumed this man had to be Seth as he was the only one I hadn't met previously.

"What are you talking about? It's fucking tropical out here!" Embry commented, grinning widely.

"No F bombs in front of the kid," Quil replied quickly.

"I'm not a kid," Levi complained, "beside you don't filter your thoughts so there isn't much point to doing it now."

"Focus guys," Jake interrupted before any of them could say another word.

"Anybody see the news this morning?" He asked, taking the last chair at the table, then pulling me down onto his lap again as he had before.

I blushed at the action and tried to stand, his arm held me in place and as he spoke, he didn't seem to notice my reluctance.

"The body we found in the woods; she's been missing for nearly a month. Her name was Erin Coles, she was from Port Angeles. We need to be prepared in case they widen the search down this far. Be wary in the woods, I know you aren't stupid, so I won't say anymore.

The bigger problem here though is there's another woman gone missing from Seattle. Chances are they aren't connected but be on guard. You find anything out of the ordinary out there, you call me. I think it would be best if we went back to patrolling in pairs until we know for sure it's over."

The mood was subdued by Jake's speech. Nobody spoke for a long moment, until Seth said, "I'll take tonight, another volunteer?"

"I'll join you," Jake offered without a moment's hesitation. It hurt to hear him offer his time away from me so easily, but I did understand his motivation.

"Nah, I will," Quil offered quickly, "enjoy your last night together before she goes home."

Jake's grip on me tightened very slightly. The reminder that I wouldn't permanently be here with him must have upset him. It upset me too. Tomorrow night I would be back at work, and he wouldn't be there with me in my apartment. I would be alone, and it didn't bring me any comfort like it had once done.

Being alone would be difficult now, but I would manage. Usually, my shifts were 4 nights on, 4 nights off so it wouldn't be too long before I would return, if that were what he wanted. I tried to think about my imminent departure with a rational mind, but it did little to help the uncomfortable feelings that arose at the thought of being separated.

We didn't talk much on the journey home, both lost in our thoughts it seemed. Billy was out when we returned, and we still had most of the day together. I looked at our hours left together with positivity from then on.

We hauled ourselves up in his bedroom, cuddled up close we watched the sequel to the movie he'd shown me the other day on an ancient laptop. The second iron man film appeared to be much the same as the first one but with more iron men.

As the film ended, I turned my face away from the screen and studied his.

"That's not creepy at all," he stated, repeating my words from days before back at me.

I laughed but didn't stop staring. He was just so perfect, I wanted to burn his image into my brain so that I would never feel as if he wasn't there.

"If you keep looking at me like that, I'm not going to be held responsible for my actions," he warned.

I grinned but kept staring.

"Well, don't say I didn't warn you."

My yelp of surprise was stifled as he kissed me. This kiss wasn't like our first, it was fuelled by a different emotion. My heart raced; my skin felt overheated as my body responded eagerly to his touch.

I was almost struggling to catch a breath when he released me. His whole body hesitated as he pulled himself away from me, but his gaze flickered to the laptop and he cursed.

"Damn we missed the after-credit scene."

"Who cares?" I questioned, regaining my senses.

Our eyes locked and our kiss this time grew charged and I felt desire and need rising up inside me. Lord, I wanted him. Despite how my body responded, my brain was still very much present, keeping me in check and stopping me going too far.

It was clear he wanted more than I could give at that moment, but he was considerate, kind and patient. He never tried to push me past my boundaries, just as he'd promised before.

As evening crept up on us, we heard Billy return and once Charlie had driven off back to his home. We exited Jake's bedroom. I was aware that something gave us away as Billy's eyebrows rose slightly as he took in our appearance.

Whatever he saw, he didn't comment on it. I watched Jake making dinner, asking him to talk me through all the steps he took. I was honestly curious about cooking, my mom had always been so good at it and me, I burned water. Even with Jake here beside me, showing me step by step, I still managed to catch the garlic bread.

The edge of the baguette was charred and smoked slightly as I retrieved it from under the grill.

"How?" He questioned, looking highly amused by my abysmal abilities in the kitchen.

I elbowed him in the ribs for his comment and set to work removing the burnt parts of the bread. Things could usually be salvaged; my mom had taught me that.

I helped Jake plate up the food, and we all sat together to eat. I ate most of the small portion I'd served myself, and he happily took my leftovers. Food would never be wasted in our house it seemed. The thought made me smile as I gazed at him. One day I wouldn't have to leave here, one day I would stay, and I could live my life with him. It made the thought of leaving tomorrow easier to bear when I told myself that. One day.

I slept better than I would have expected that night, he kissed me goodnight and I fell asleep tucked securely against his chest. There was no use dwelling on tomorrow because one day I wouldn't have to go away and that kept me smiling, soundly sleeping until the sun rose again.