Chapter 14: A Short Straw from an Open Hand
Sirius and Cressida wave off Remus, James and Peter as they leave the boy's dorm with the Invisibility Cloak in hand. It's the first chance they've had to be alone, and Cressida knows Sirius is dying to figure out what she's done, and she's desperate to tell him before he messes it up more so than it already is.
The dormitory door clicks shut and Cressida waits five seconds before leaping from James' bed and darting across the room. "I fucked up," she draws out in a hiss, scrambling onto his bed. "And I don't know whether you're going to hate me or not."
"Well if I wasn't terrified before," he drawls. Making a soothing motion with his hand, he calms them both down. "Just tell me what you did so I can figure out how to fix it."
Cressida presses her hand together in a prayer, resting her jaw in the curve of her thumb. "Mary and Lily were making guesses about who I have feelings for, and they said James, and I panicked," she says as though the most obvious reaction. "But then they brought up the rumour about us kissing last year that we let fizzle out so I told them that it was true."
"Okay," Sirius breathes. "So now we just have to tell James, Pete and Remus that it was true. No biggie."
Cressida nods slowly. "Among other things that… aren't so true." Sirius doesn't say anything, his flat face growing impatient. In a more logical and factual tone, she continues, "I told them that I had feelings for you and that you know."
Sirius' eyes close, his forehead dropping to his folded fist. "Cressida," he sighs.
"And now that's we're going to have to tell James and the others that too, because I made it sound like it wasn't some secret," she blabbers, "and if they say something and the girls realise that I've lied then I'm going to be in a bigger mess that I don't know how to explain my way out of."
Pressing her lips together tightly, she waits for Sirius' miracle resolution. "What about Marlene? She was with you."
"I told her last year that I liked James, so I think she's a bit confused but didn't say anything. I'm not sure if I want to tell her the truth or just say my feelings changed yet. Depends on our plan."
"Our plan?" Sirius spits. "I don't see you coming up with any ideas."
"I'm sorry," Cressida mutters. "My plan got me into this mess, and I'd rather get out of it."
Sirius sighs, his chin dropping. "No I'm sorry. You trust me enough to come to me. We just have to sort out the finer details then we can smooth it all out."
Cressida cringes. "Finer details?"
Sirius nods, resetting his shoulders into a confident stance. "Do I like you back? They would have asked that."
"They did," Cressida confirms. "I said we didn't talk about it much."
"Alright, so we can say I don't."
"What?" Cressida grumbles with a teasing glare. "Can't even fake fancy me?"
Sirius rolls his eyes, leaning back against his braced hands. "We can say I do if you want. I'm just wondering why we're not in a relationship if the feeling is mutual."
"I'd rather not be rejected by the guy I fake fancy and snogged," she snorts. "Maybe we just think it's too weird, don't want to ruin our friendship? I don't know, but I think we just let it flatten out over time. They bring it up in a few weeks and we say that we don't feel that way anymore."
He nods partially, the teasing smile falling to a quiet one. "We can do that. Nothing really has to change then, does it? We don't have to act or pretend. We just have to agree if they ever ask us. We might not even have to say anything."
"You're right," Cressida realises with her own smile. "I just overthought everything. But thank you." Her arms envelop him in a warm and tight embrace. "If it's any consolation, I told them you were a good kisser."
"I hope that rumour spreads," he chuckles over her shoulder.
Xx
Cressida huffs, placing another book on her pile, cursing herself for drawing the short straw. Over the course of the holidays, they had somehow come up with the idea to create a map. A map of the entirety of Hogwarts and somehow enchant it to trace the movements of everybody in the castle. It hasn't been started by any means, but they figured starting off with some spell study is a good way to do that. And Cressida was chosen to be the one to get the books, while the other three sneak off to the kitchens to fuel their late-night endeavours.
The pile of books in her arms leans against her front, threatening to topple every time she takes a step. There's one more book that she saw early she wants to take before she can finally stuff these in Sirius' enchanted extended bag he let her borrow for the occasion.
There, on the shelf of an empty aisle, 'Olde and Forgotten Bewitchments and Charms,' covered in dark reddish-purple leather. Grinning, with her venture now over, Cressida places it on the very top of her pile under her chin to take to Madam Pince.
A boy stands a few feet away; sunken eyes staring at the book that her hand still lays upon. Cressida's eyes dart back to the shelf, but she's taken the only copy available. Looking back, to Regulus, her brain and heart conflict with each other; one wanting to walk away, the other wanting to stay.
"Here." Cressida places down her pile on the stand with a heavy thunk and takes the very top one. Regulus doesn't move forward to take it, so she does so instead. "That's the one you want, isn't it?" Regulus stares at the book behind a walled face that's even more so impressive than Sirius'. Cressida doesn't waver her small smile, nor her offer. "I think I have plenty."
"Yes," he eventually says. She can't tell what part he's answering, but her arm is relieved of the extra weight as he takes the book. Regulus looks back at her piles. "Coming up with new ways to hex and jinx us?"
Cressida huffs, glancing back to her pile as well, almost amused at his efforts. "More important things actually," she answers with a sly smile. "We've actually never hexed you before, by the way."
Regulus is the same height as Cressida but has a more lithe build making him appear smaller to the eye. His dark hair would be quite similar to Sirius' if he ever grew it out, but for the time being, it sits in neatly combed waves like a halo around his head. "Do you expect me to be grateful?" he spits. Cressida raises her brow, shifting her weight onto her left foot entirely at the sudden burst of defence.
"I expect you to think about why," she counters with half as much spite that he throws at her. "Because despite your buddies being a pain in our arses, you've neglected to do anything to warrant us hexing you." Cressida chuckles sarcastically. "What a thing to think about. But I suppose stories change when they're only told by one side and you hear from Rosier, Snape, Lestrange how we're such arrogant bastards. Hexing everyone that we see in the corridors wearing green or just looking at us funny."
Regulus stares at her with his face as still as it was before. "We don't call you all arrogant bastards. Just Potter."
Cressida stares right back at him as she processes his words. "Did you just make a joke?" she questions, lips drawing up into a broad smirk.
Regulus looks away, the first sign of unease showing as he swallows thickly and his jaw muscles move around. "We call you That Mudblood," Regulus declares, looking back to Cressida with dark eyes. Her smirk falters and whatever sort of amusement she was getting out of the conversation evaporates.
"Not a name I haven't heard before," she retorts stiffly. "And I think you've just earned yourself a bat-bogey hex." Regulus' brows twitch, his hand reaching towards one of the hidden pockets of his school jacket. Cressida grabs her pile of books. "I'll let your brother have the honour," she snarls. Her shoulder scuffs the side of his but he doesn't even retort to that.
Madam Pince rightfully eyes off her pile of Charms books. She's come to learn that Cressida, and any of her friends loaning any amount of non-required school texts means that somewhere trouble is brewing. Cressida doesn't bother with a usual witty or charming comment to the librarian, only taking the books silently after signing them out and shoving them in the small extendable bag.
By the time she reaches the boy's dorm, her strong march has worn down the malicious thoughts threatening to grow. The boys don't seem to have arrived much long before her, with steaming mugs of hot chocolate and tea, as well as assorted plates of biscuits, cheese, sweets, chicken drumsticks and other snackish items, are spread across the floor.
Cressida laughs softly as they bustle about with pillows and blankets to create a comfortable study space. "You forgot the crackers to go with the cheese," she tells James who she had first requested the items to.
His face falls, eyes darting to each plate. "Shit," he hisses slowly. "I'm so sorry, I'll race down and get some."
Cressida laughs louder, grasping his arm as he tries to dart past her. "James, I'm teasing." She grins at him for emphasis. "I can deal without some crackers. But you can take this for me-" she hands him the extendable bag, which is certainly not charmed to remain light, "please and thank you."
James can't hold the small grunt as his wrist drops slightly under the strap. "Merlin's socks, how many books did you get?"
"Not everything I wanted," she answers. James gives her an incredulous expression as he hauls the books towards the centre of their hovel.
"How'd your trip go anyway?" Remus questions, stretching down to lay across a blanketed floor and rest his head on a small pile of pillows. Cressida knows that he's asking that in reference to the librarian who they were sure would question her, but the thought of Regulus is the first thing that comes to her mind to say.
Her mouth opens to do such a thing, but her eyes linger on Sirius who's striding around with two mugs of hot chocolate with a doggish smile. "Easy," she answers smoothly.
Peter places a few pieces of parchment down in the centre of their space, taking a seat and brings the plate of cheese chunks into his lap. Never mind the crackers, she humours herself. The books are laid out at random and each of them settles into a position they find comfortable.
They work for hours, the scraps of paper in front of them ranging from partially drawn maps of classrooms, to one of somewhere of London's underground tunnels – which is honestly more impressive than what they were trying to achieve considering none of them has ever been there.
James' glasses are askew, and his hair looks more disarrayed than usual. Cressida's hair was blindly put into a bun, her wand tucked into it and she knows that tomorrow morning her back is going to pay for the horrendous posture. Remus had fallen asleep a few hours into it and no one bothered to wake him back up. Sirius' posture is even worse than her own, leaning on his hand with an elongated curve in his spine as his legs stretch out the opposite way.
Most of the time, they point out the charm to Cressida who then is the one to try it on the parchment. There are some moments of celebration and some others that frustrate her to no end.
As Peter slowly leans to the side, collapsing onto Remus' legs, she finally calls it. "I think that's enough for tonight," she whispers, closing her book quietly. Sirius groans, letting his own drop from his hold. He leaves it where it is, crawling away to his bed and pulls himself under the covers before Cressida can even say goodnight. Glancing towards James who hasn't moved from his seated position, leaning against the frame of his bed, she says, "Never thought I'd have to pull a book away from you."
He chuckles quietly, turning a page. "I'll go to bed soon, I just want to finish reading this section." Cressida peers at the book title, not recognising it from any other occasion than today when she picked it out. Wondering what has James, the ultimate non-reader, so entrapped she crawls over on her knees to peek at the inside of the book. As though he anticipates it, as soon as she starts moving, James opens his arm and readjusts the book to rest against his propped knee. "It's not actually that interesting, I'm just not that tired yet."
"Me either really," Cressida whispers, settling against the wooden front of his bed. His open arm drapes behind her neck, his fingers slightly scratching up and down her upper arm where they naturally reach. As soon as she reads the title of the chapter, her interest in the words diminished, already having read a similar thing in her own pile of books that evening.
He continues reading for another couple of pages, but stops short of the next chapter and closes it silently. She watches as he carefully places it aside with the same delicacy that he would treat his broom with. Then James looks down at her, hazel eyes flickering between each of hers.
He leans towards her, tilting his head to the side and presses a kiss against her closest cheek. Cressida's breath catches, eyelids flickering but not closing entirely. His lips lift from her skin but she can still feel the sensation of them being there. There is no desperate need to cling to it, however, as he presses another one on her other cheek.
She could tell him right now. Why hasn't she before? What stupid reasons were in her way of just telling him how she feels?
Cressida is sure he can feel her quick breathing and her tightening grip on his hand that still rests by her arm.
His lips leave her skin again, but barely, ghosting a trail up across to her forehead. He presses a third and final kiss just below her hairline that lingers longer than the rest. "Cress," he murmurs, breath fanning across her forehead. "You mean the world to me and I'd like to think I mean something similar to you."
Cressida nods hastily, leaning back to read his face. It's quiet, if an expression can be described as such. "Of course you do."
His lips twitch upwards, but sink back down and that's when Cressida knows this isn't going where her imagination wants it to. "Then why haven't you told me about you and Sirius?"
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