"So…what's your name?" Aloy asked their Deima guide after a few minutes of awkward silence.
"Sorren," the young hunter answered, glancing back over his shoulder at her with a mildly anxious expression.
"I'm Aloy," Aloy told him. "And this is Nil."
"We know," Sorren assured her.
"…Right," Aloy muttered when it became clear the boy had nothing more to say. Sighing, she gave up and asked, "Why did you attack us?"
"I didn't!" Sorren exclaimed, turning to face her while walking backwards. "I came in peace!"
"I don't mean today," Aloy said coolly, "I mean before, when I stopped Nil from killing you."
"Oh." Nodding quickly, Sorren turned back around to watch where he was stepping. "Mother's interested in you," he said. "You're an anomaly, and she wanted to study you. Ideally, we would have captured you alive, but there was a lot Mother could have learned from your corpse, too, if need be."
"ELEUTHIA, you mean?" Aloy half-asked. "I want to talk to her, too. I wish she had just asked me."
"Oh, we don't parlay with outsiders," Sorren explained in a rushed tone. "No one from another tribe has been a guest in our metropolis in decades - it was rare even before Mother came to us, and now it's almost outlawed, though she has conceded to making an exception for you."
"What about Kryse?" Aloy inquired.
"The wanderer trades with us, but he's never actually set foot in our city," Sorren told her. "Outsiders are…erm…"
"…Tainted?" Aloy finished.
"Unwelcome," Sorren corrected, if uncomfortably. "We…Well, we don't talk with outsiders. It just…makes things easier."
"Things?" Aloy repeated.
"Is that why you seem so nervous?" Nil asked at the same time, and Aloy backed off to let him continue. "You've been raised not to speak to people outside your tribe?"
Glancing back over his shoulder, Sorren nodded, his expression tense. Aloy frowned. Something wasn't right here…
"May I…have my cloaking module back?" Sorren asked after a moment, tossing a furtive glance at Aloy. "If you kept it?"
"Didn't your tribe give you a new one?" Aloy asked in response.
"We only have so many," Sorren answered, shaking his head. "There was an old-world bunker full of them, but we don't know how to make more. You've broken so many of them, we have to ration them out now. And I…well…"
"You've been disgraced," Aloy realized. "For communicating with outsiders."
"They didn't believe me when I said I didn't speak to you," Sorren mumbled. "That's why they sent me, instead of someone else; I've already had contact with you."
"I'll let them know you kept your mouth shut," Aloy assured him. "Not…that it matters much now, I guess."
"No," Sorren said, "now I'm doing as I was told, it's different. But may I have my cloaking module back? There will be Machines on the way home."
"We can handle Machines," Aloy told Sorren. She brought up her map to check for Machine sites as she walked, and noticed something promising. "Actually, there's a Strider herd just a little ways ahead; I can get some for us to ride."
"R-Ride?" Sorren asked, turning back to her with wide eyes, and they stopped where they were.
"I can override Machines," Aloy told him, offering him what she hoped was a comforting smile, "and Striders, Chargers, and Broadheads can be ridden. It's a lot faster than walking, and a lot easier, too."
"I…I don't know…" Sorren fretted, recoiling slightly.
"I want to meet your tribe, and ELEUTHIA," Aloy stated, already turning in the direction of the Machine site. "The sooner the better, right?"
"That's…I…"
Aloy glanced at Nil, and he nodded at her slightly, letting her know that he understood what she was doing and intended to help. Nodding back, she kept walking, and her partner followed.
"Wait!" Sorren called, running after them. "Outsiders! Hunters! Please, wait!"
After a short ways, Aloy tapped her Focus, ignoring the young Deima's pleas. "Six of them," she told Nil. "Plus a Watcher-"
An arrow whizzed past her, sailing through the trees before burying itself in the long, slender neck of the tiny Machine.
"…Never mind," Aloy said. "Six Striders, then. Should we get two, or three?"
"Depends on how many we have to kill," Nil shrugged.
"The fewer have to die, the better," Aloy nodded, drawing her Powershot Bow and nocking an arrow.
"Then don't kill any!" Sorren exclaimed from behind them, sounding frantic. "Please, just follow me, on foot, it's not too far-"
"You told us we could meet with your tribe on our terms," Nil said calmly, sparing the young hunter a glance.
"I…" Sorren flinched, recoiling.
"These are our terms," Nil stated. "We would prefer to meet with your people sooner rather than later, so we're going to take the faster way." Not waiting for a response, he turned and quickly fired an arrow into the distant herd, felling a Strider instantly; Aloy had already killed one, and was lining up her shot on another.
By now, the Striders knew something was amiss, but the hunters were too far away to immediately draw attention, and Aloy ducked into some tall grass, aiming for a Strider that the others weren't looking at before releasing her precision arrow. It dropped with barely a sound, and she stayed crouched, waiting for the yellow lights to turn blue. "Calm, calm," she murmured to herself, as slowly, the Striders decided there was nothing worth worrying about in their vicinity - something only Machines could reasonably believe with half their herd dead. Once the lights were blue again, Aloy let out a low whistle, the nearest Strider walked over to investigate the sound, and Aloy drew her spear and darted forward as soon as the metal creature was close enough, jamming her override module against its head and taking control of it. When that was done, she took one of the blue cables along its neck and handed it over to Nil, who led it away while she waited for her device to reset.
In short order, the other two Striders were brought over and hijacked without a fight, the carcasses were stripped for parts, and Nil and Aloy each took a mount before Aloy led the third over to their guide. "Hop on," she told the Deima boy.
"I…" Sorren's eyes were wide, and Aloy saw amazement and longing in them. "I really shouldn't…"
"I've never been fond of the word 'should'," Nil chuckled.
"It's perfectly safe," Aloy told Sorren. "And it's a lot more convenient than walking."
Sorren looked around anxiously, and Aloy knew she was right.
"Well, if you don't ride with us, then we'll just go on ahead without you," she sighed.
"No!" Sorren exclaimed. "No, I need to lead you there!"
"Then climb on," Aloy encouraged.
Hesitantly, still glancing around wildly for eyes Aloy knew were on them, the young Deima hunter stepped forward, placed his hands on the living metal, then clambered onto the Strider's back.
"Take a couple of the blue cables along its neck, one on either side," Aloy instructed him; "to turn, just pull on one or the other to change which way it's facing. To go faster, kick it in the sides, and to slow down or stop, pull back on both cables at once. That's all there is to it. This way?" she asked abruptly, turning her mount in the direction they'd been walking and kicking the metal creature into a jog.
"Wait for me!" Sorren yelped as he clumsily guided his Strider around and kicked it to run past Aloy. "I have to be in front!"
"Then you'd better hurry and keep up," Aloy told him snidely, kicking her mount again; behind her, Nil huffed a soft chuckle that she could only just hear over the pounding of Strider hooves on lush earth.
She pushed her mount harder, and in doing so, she pushed Sorren; before long, all three Machines were sprinting northward, very nearly racing to be the first to reach the distant Deima settlement. Aloy kept a close eye on Sorren, trusting her mount to navigate the terrain, and in time, he seemed to give up and enjoy the ride, no longer scanning the surroundings with wide, fearful eyes.
"Whoa!" she called abruptly, pulling her mount back, metal hooves sliding on dirt and leaves as she slowed. Nil stopped at nearly the same time she did, while Sorren yelped and jerked on the cables he'd been clutching, hard enough that his Machine reared back on its hind legs, screeching. Still, he managed to come to a halt, and Aloy guided her Strider over to his side. "Can we talk now?" she asked the Deima boy.
"What?" Sorren gasped, jerking his head around to face her.
"Are the Humanoids gone?" she inquired gently. "Can we talk safely now?"
"The…?" Sorren's eyes widened even further. "How did you know…?"
"The Corsair Sheriff mentioned that they're everywhere," Nil shrugged for Aloy, "and that they can use the cloaking modules more easily since they don't feel pain. And you seemed scared."
"Please don't kill me," Sorren whimpered.
"I just want to talk," Aloy told him gently. "Freely, without those things spying on us. You can be honest with me now."
"I haven't lied to you!" Sorren exclaimed. "Mother wants to meet with you, as does President Winoa, and they're both willing to do it peacefully, under a state of truce!" Pressing his lips together, he shook his head wildly. "I'm in no position to answer your questions, I'm just supposed to bring you to our metropolis. President Winoa will tell you whatever you want to know when we get there. Please, let's just…keep moving. I shouldn't be out of sight of the Perfect Ones this long."
He kicked his mount into a jog without waiting for Aloy to respond, and, bewildered, Aloy followed him. Something felt very wrong about this setup already, but she believed Sorren was telling the truth, at least as far as he knew. Setting her jaw, Aloy bent down over her Strider's neck and kicked, prepared for any fight, as she knew Nil was.
Before long, the sparsely forested land gave way to a distinct road, and from there, the going was easy; it was only midafternoon when a massive structure rose up in the distance, a high, wide wall of metal that seemed a bit too smooth for both ancient times and the modern age. Rather than being cobbled together from Machine scrap, sheets of metal appeared to be fused together, creating a far more impenetrable barrier than anything Aloy had ever seen, and she pulled her mount to a walk along with Sorren and Nil.
"This wall," she remarked to Sorren. "I've never seen anything like it."
"It took many years to craft," Sorren nodded, a bit of pride in his voice.
"I bet the Carja could make something more impressive than this easily, if the Oseram provided the materials," Nil said dismissively, and Aloy allowed herself to smile.
"In any case, we should leave these Machines now," Sorren stated, bringing his Strider to a halt, and Aloy followed suit, as did Nil. "Please, follow me on foot from here."
Nodding, Aloy dismounted, and she and Nil walked behind their Deima guide up to the wall. Sorren pounded his knuckles on the metal barrier three times, and a door-sized panel slid open, revealing a dark room full of several human-shaped figures, lit by a few sparse torches and sunlight that shone through gaps in what must have been the top of the structure. Whether they were human or Humanoid, Aloy couldn't tell, but she was braced for a fight either way as she stepped through, Nil close by her side.
"You're early," said a cold, authoritative voice the moment Sorren was inside, and Aloy bent her neck to look past him in time to see a sharp-featured woman rise from her seat. The woman was as tall as Helis, thin but curvaceous, her features almost angular, with light skin, piercing eyes, and graying hair with a few dark streaks of a color Aloy couldn't identify in this light.
"Forgive me, Madam President," Sorren mumbled. "The outlanders insisted-"
"I'm aware you were given no choice," the woman interrupted, waving her hand dismissively. "But you could have enjoyed it a bit less."
"I didn't enjoy-!" Sorren began defensively.
"Leave him alone," Aloy snapped, stepping in front of the young hunter; behind her and Nil, the door slid shut. "There's nothing wrong with having fun."
Sharp, cold eyes bored into Aloy from the woman's cruel face, but Aloy lifted her chin and met her glare defiantly, refusing to be intimidated. After a long moment, the woman's thin lips curled with contempt.
"The anomaly," she hissed. "The Perfect Ones have had eyes on you for a while; Mother finds you fascinating. You should be grateful she saw fit to accept your offer of a peaceful meeting."
"I am," Aloy stated, keeping her tone neutral. "I look forward to speaking with her; she and I have a lot to discuss."
"Mother won't be ready to speak to you until tomorrow," the Deima woman said. "You came too quickly."
"Well, I'm sure I can find something to pass the time until then," Aloy responded coolly.
"Hmph."
"By the way," Aloy went on before this abrasive woman could say anything else, "Sorren didn't say anything to me when I gave him the message I sent you - I tried to get him to talk to me, and he refused."
"Did he tell you to say that?" the woman asked.
"No," Aloy replied, "and even if he did, I'd have nothing to gain from lying about it."
"Hmm." Frowning, the woman tilted her head thoughtfully, bladelike eyes still assaulting Aloy's very soul, though Aloy didn't break eye contact. "In any case, he will be your guide and servant during your stay-"
"I don't want a servant," Aloy stated.
"Constant companion, then," the woman dismissed. "You are our guests here, the first outlander guests we've had in decades; I've never had to treat with outlanders since my election, but I am committed to courtesy. Sorren will answer any questions you may have, and should you need anything, ask of him, and it shall be given to you."
"That's kind of you," Aloy said, "but why can't you answer my questions yourself? You seem like you're in charge here. I don't even know your name."
"Ah, of course," the woman nodded. "I am Winoa, the elected President of the Deima tribe, a post I have shouldered for the better part of fifteen years now."
"i'm Aloy," Aloy responded, and she gestured to where Nil stood behind her, "and this is Nil."
"We know who you two are," Winoa huffed. "The Perfect Ones know a great deal about both of you." For a moment, her piercing glare turned to Nil, then returned to Aloy. "Be mindful that you're the only one Mother is interested in; we wouldn't have extended our invitation to include him, were we not aware that you two are inseparable. And because of that-"
A sudden shuffle caught Aloy's attention, and she turned just in time to see Nil draw his knife and bury it in the chest of a Deima man who had been behind him.
"Nil!" Aloy yelped, leaping forward, though it was too late to save the Deima guard. "What are you doing?!"
"He snuck up on me," Nil said calmly, though his teeth were flashing, his eyes locked with his victim. "Was I not supposed to defend myself?"
"Nil…" Aloy glanced at Winoa nervously, but the Deima leader seemed entirely unaffected.
"He wasn't going to hurt you," Sorren spoke up in a small voice.
"Still," Nil smirked, yanking his blade free, and blood splattered everywhere as the wounded man hit the ground, "I feel enough hostility here that I would rather not take that chance." He turned to Aloy, and their eyes met; in his silver gaze, she heard what he wasn't saying: that he was making a statement to the Deima that if they tried anything, he would protect her. Aloy shook her head very slightly, conveying her disapproval, and in response, he gave a tiny shrug, indicating that he wasn't sorry, as at least he had the pleasure of killing someone.
"He was just going to give you your shock collars," Sorren eventually said, cutting through the silent conversation he wasn't aware of.
"Shock collars?" Aloy repeated, even as she looked around again, surprised that none of the Deima present seemed in the least bit bothered that one of their own had just been murdered in front of their eyes. "And why are you all so okay with this?" she demanded.
"It's no great loss," Winoa shrugged, and Aloy stared at her disbelievingly. "He was only human, after all - flawed, and thus worthless. His remains will be refabricated into one of the Perfect Ones by Mother once his brain death is absolute enough to ensure he won't retain any memories. If anything, he should be grateful for the quick death."
"That's horrible!" Aloy exclaimed.
"You haven't met Mother yet," Winoa dismissed; "you can't possibly understand. But you will. In the meantime, yes, your shock collars. Neither of you are allowed into the city without one."
"I thought we were here on our own terms," Aloy growled.
"It's nothing personal!" Sorren piped up, and Aloy turned to him to see him clasping a metal band around his throat. "I get one too, see? All the Imperfect Ones do - Mother helped design them, and she mandates them for any flawed humans."
"And what are they for?" Aloy inquired guardedly.
"Mother has decreed that humans will not breed," Winoa stated flatly. "What you and your partner do outside our walls is unfortunately your business, but within our metropolis, no humans shall engage in breeding rituals. Should you feel the desire to do so arise, the collar will detect your lust and activate until you are sufficiently discouraged." Her thin lips scowled even deeper. "And we cannot trust you two. You lied to the Perfect Ones about your intent to breed once already."
"I didn't lie!" Aloy exclaimed. "Nil and I weren't close when I talked to that one, and - and anyway, I don't intend to breed with him, we have antidotes for that."
"We will not take half measures," Winoa huffed. "If you are to set foot in our city, you will do so wearing shock collars."
Aloy glared at Winoa for a long minute, a silent battle of wills, assessing her options. It didn't really matter that much, and Aloy finally decided that even the principle of the matter wasn't worth arguing about yet - the only person who needed to be convinced was ELEUTHIA, anything she said to this woman wouldn't matter. "Fine," she stated.
Nodding, Winoa gestured behind Aloy, and some more guards stepped away from where they stood against the walls; three of them moved to pick up the corpse, while another bent down and picked up the metal rings the now-dead guard had been holding, proffering them to Aloy and Nil. Nil looked at Aloy questioningly, and she nodded, already taking one of the partly flexible collars and twisting it around her throat under her scarf, then pinching until it snapped into place. Her partner did the same, and suddenly, a door in the far side of the room opened.
"I have business to attend to," Winoa stated coldly. "Please, make yourselves comfortable; Sorren will be at your beck and call. Tomorrow morning, you will meet with Mother."
"I look forward to it," Aloy told the cruel woman coolly, and then the Deima leader and her cohort left the room. After hesitating a moment, Sorren started walking, and Aloy and Nil fell into step behind him, emerging from the metal wall into the Deima settlement.
On the other side was a surprisingly normal-looking city - the buildings were made of those smooth sheets of metal that Nil had said the Carja could easily work with if the Oseram crafted them, and there were people everywhere. The only really strange thing about the place was that there was almost no sound of voices; no one appeared to be talking together in groups, laughing, or standing around taking a break. Instead, everyone walked with single-minded direction, every face Aloy saw carefully blank. Frowning, she tapped her Focus and started scanning the tribesmen, but while there were occasionally individuals labeled "Humanoid", most of them were in fact human. Trying to be perfect, Aloy realized at last. ELEUTHIA told them emotions are a flaw, so they're trying to emulate the Humanoids. She suppressed the urge to shudder.
"Do you need anything?" Sorren asked after a couple of minutes, and Aloy realized the poor boy had just been standing by, waiting for instruction. "We haven't had guests in decades, but we do still have some old cabins for visitors to sleep in, I can show you where you'll be staying tonight. Are you hungry? We were riding for a while."
"I could eat," Nil shrugged.
"Yeah," Aloy said slowly, turning to her assigned guide. "Sorren…I've been wondering something about your tribe, and I'd hoped to get an answer if I came here."
"President Winoa instructed me to answer your questions," Sorren said, bobbing his head almost eagerly. "What do you want to know?"
"What exactly is it you do to the people you capture?" Aloy asked.
All at once, Sorren's face fell. "Oh…" he mumbled. "Um…"
"Winoa said you had to answer my questions," Aloy reminded him, trying not to get frustrated by the familiar situation of someone being unwilling to tell her things.
"I know!" the boy exclaimed. "It's just…well, that's not easy to explain. I could show you, though, if you like - we have a few subjects right now, I could take you to see them. I, uh, wouldn't recommend eating beforehand, though."
Well, that's ominous. "Take me to see," Aloy told Sorren. "We'll eat afterwards."
Sorren nodded and started walking, and Aloy followed, Nil keeping close at her side, as though sensing that she was already bracing herself for the atrocity they would soon witness.
Past the flow of countless people who all seemed determined not to speak to or acknowledge each other, far across the settlement from where they'd come in, Sorren led Aloy and Nil to a lift similar to the one that served as passage between upper and lower Meridian, except that Sorren had to turn a massive crank to make it move.
"Told you the Carja and Oseram could do better," Nil murmured in Aloy's ear.
Huffing a nervous laugh, Aloy stepped closer to Sorren. "We can turn it, if you like," she offered him.
"No, no," the boy panted, clearly straining his arms to keep pumping the massive winch, "you're guests! This is my job."
"If you insist," Aloy said.
"I do," he assured her.
Still anxious, Aloy looked around, and realized the shaft they were descending looked old, older than anything made in modern times, metal walls crusted over with ancient stone. "Is this…an old-world bunker?" Aloy wondered out loud.
"The Old Ones' lights and ventilation constructs make our work a lot easier down here," Sorren explained, still working hard at the wheel.
"What work?" Aloy pressed.
"Our experiments," Sorren replied. "The rooms the Old Ones built make for much better test chambers than anything we could ever design - much stronger, harder to escape from since they're so far underground, and easier to keep clean, too."
"Test chambers…?" Aloy repeated.
By now, they had almost reached the bottom of the shaft, and Aloy felt Nil's fingers brush against hers; she glanced at him, and he flashed his teeth at her, letting her know he was prepared for a fight if they were in for one. She shook his head at him, took a breath, and stepped closer to the doors that lined up with the way forward. Sorren had to push them open, and they emerged into a long, ancient hallway lined with what looked like glass windows. White lights, stronger than any Aloy had seen in other old ruins, radiated from most of the windows, and Aloy walked over to peer through the nearest one.
On the other side, a person was strapped to a metal slab by all their limbs, surrounded by six other people covered in a shiny material. The horrific thing about the sight that got Aloy's attention, though, was that the person strapped to the table was missing all the skin and muscle on the front of their torso, vital organs bared to the air, all working and pulsing, while the people covered in shiny material poked and prodded at the functioning organs with instruments.
"What on Earth?!" Aloy yelped, leaping back. Disgusted and appalled, she wheeled on Sorren. "What is this?!" she demanded.
"Oh, that's just a practice room," Sorren shrugged, and Aloy's jaw went slack at his dismissiveness. "Some of our younger testers are learning about the human body firsthand through exploration. Don't worry, that subject's been given an anesthetic, they don't feel any pain."
"That subject?!" Aloy repeated incredulously. "Meaning there are some who do?!"
Behind her, Nil gave a hum of intrigue as he glanced through the window. "Never actually seen a heart beating before," he murmured, more to himself than to Aloy. "Fascinating…"
"My people study the limits of human capabilities," Sorren explained, and at least he looked mildly apologetic. "Physiology, biology, psychology…We've made it our mission to learn as much about humanity as we can. But in order to truly find limits, we have to…exceed them."
"Exceed?" Aloy breathed, feeling her gorge rise. Not meaning to, she ran to another window and looked inside, then another, and another. Every scene revealed some new form of torture: a woman tied down by a web of wires, sobbing and desperately reaching for a bowl on a table; a man with metal spikes impaled through his limbs that were attached to what looked like old-world mechanisms of some sort, screaming in agony; a person too thin for their gender to be distinguishable, practically skin and bone, curled up and sobbing in the corner of an empty box; a young man bound ankle-to-neck by a case of wires to a chair, needles forcing his eyes open to stare at a wall on which images flickered too fast for Aloy to make sense of; a woman with a shock collar connected to the ceiling by a number of wires trying to navigate a metal rod through a twisting mess of contraptions, wincing and visibly screaming every time the rod touched something she was trying to avoid…And in every room, there were other windows, through which Aloy could see people watching, studying, scratching small sticks against planks of wood they held, as their victims suffered and begged for mercy.
Not even halfway down the hall, Aloy couldn't bear to witness any more, and she instead turned back to Sorren, who was standing behind her, his face grim. "Why?" she asked, struggling for breath. "How can you do this to people?"
"It's for the greater good," Sorren told her. "We've made incredible advancements in all sorts of medicine by testing what humans are capable of, everything we learn here was put towards making our tribe as healthy as possible. And without our centuries of research, we wouldn't have been able to help Mother make the Perfect Ones, she needed our studies to construct functional human-like beings from genetic material." He brightened up somewhat. "She helped us a lot, too. She can put dead bodies back together and give them new life, so we were able to interview people about exactly what it was like to die, and now when a subject expires, we take them to Mother to be made into more of the Perfect Ones."
"You torture people to death for knowledge?" Aloy hissed, and she wondered if Sylens was watching, hoping against hope that he wasn't.
"It's for the greater good!" Sorren repeated. "I know it's hard to watch, but most of the people here are criminals anyway, or willing test subjects from our own tribe who have volunteered their bodies and lives for science."
"Most," Aloy repeated scathingly. "You would have done these things to me if you'd caught me, when I didn't ask for it or do anything to deserve it."
What little traces of positivity there were in Sorren's demeanor vanished instantly. "We wanted to study you," he mumbled. "You have red hair."
"I…what?" Aloy blinked.
"People with red hair are naturally more tolerant of pain," Sorren explained, "that's something we've learned in our studies. You would have been able to endure more intense experiments." Shaking his head again, he repeated, "It's all for the greater good. And when a test subject dies, they get remade into one of the Perfect Ones. By all rights, they should thank us."
Aloy's vision blurred, her mind's eye returning her to Far Zenith's bunker, to those same words being spoken by Osvald Dalgaard in regards to the planetary extinction his people had enacted for what they believed to be a noble cause. At the same moment, Nil, who had been peering into the window that allowed him to observe the horrific sights of the 'practice room', turned away and quickly stepped over to Aloy, brushing his fingers against hers, bringing her back from that other chamber of horrors. Their eyes met, and she knew he knew what she was thinking. His eyebrows raised at her, a wordless question:
Do you want me to kill the testers so we can free these captives?
For a long minute, Aloy considered, tempted by the possibility. But in the end, she had to shake her head slightly; the test subjects wouldn't be able to escape, their exit was across the Deima settlement from this place, and Nil couldn't slaughter all of the Deima in the entire tribe. He nodded at her, showing he understood, his hand brushing hers one more time as he turned to Sorren.
"If you tried to torture Aloy, you would have my pity for the destruction she would bring down on you in return," Nil remarked to their guide, giving no indication of the silent conversation he and Aloy had just had. "In any case, I'm guessing this is why the Corsair split from your tribe, they didn't approve of your experiments?"
"No one does," Sorren admitted. "We don't tell the tribes what we do to their criminals, after what happened with the Corsair. People think it's wrong."
"It is wrong!" Aloy exclaimed. "Sorren, you can't believe that this is okay! These are people, people just like you, and they're suffering! I thought ELEUTHIA didn't like human suffering?"
"She accepts it, because it's how we were able to help her, and she remakes the subjects into Perfect Ones after we're done with them," Sorren stated. "Really, they're the lucky ones."
"You can't believe that," Aloy repeated, shaking her head.
Something flickered in Sorren's expression, an uneasiness that made him shift slightly, his blue eyes glancing around with something like nervousness. In a way, it reminded Aloy of how Varl had behaved when he'd looked out on Devil's Grief - values he was raised on conflicting with something he felt in his heart. There was no point trying to tell Sorren this was wrong, the boy knew it but had been raised to insist otherwise.
"…I've seen enough," Aloy said at last. "Let's go."
Struggling with icy nausea, Aloy walked back to the lift with Nil by her side. After a moment, Sorren ran ahead of them, clearly almost as eager to leave as they were, even if he wouldn't admit it.
~o~
After forcing down a meal provided by her hosts, Aloy allowed Sorren to guide them to the cabins where she and Nil would be staying for the night. Sorren insisted that they had to take separate rooms, and so nightfall found Aloy lying alone on a not-uncomfortable mattress in her leathers, trying to close her eyes. Even listening to her favorite data point didn't soothe her, and she found herself clutching Elisabet's globe for some semblance of comfort, almost choking on the silence and solitude.
It was too much, too soon - the horrors of Far Zenith and the horrors of the Deima tribe in two days, being faced with one before she'd even finished processing the other. The Deima and Far Zenith were practically one and the same, and Aloy couldn't bear the thought that all of Elisabet's hopes and dreams had led to something like this: people who thought that anyone not part of their group didn't matter, that human lives were of no consequence. What made it difficult was that, in a way, by believing that, they almost made it true - if there would always be people who devalued life itself, then maybe people as a whole weren't worth defending. Aloy had given so much for life on Earth, willingly risked her own life for the future of humanity, yet now she had proof that humanity wasn't worth dying for. But…something inside her rejected that idea, even as logical as it seemed. People who devalued others, and life, they weren't worth protecting, but…there were good people too, and they were worth protecting. She thought of all her friends, names and faces passing by behind her eyes; they were worth fighting for, weren't they? They were good people, and they mattered. Every life mattered, every soul mattered, Aloy felt it to her very core - after all, if she chose to believe people weren't worth it, wasn't she agreeing with people like Far Zenith and the Deima? The monsters she'd faced in the last couple of days were wrong, she knew they were, and that had to mean that humanity was worth fighting for.
Even worse was the way Sorren insisted that the suffering of his tribe's test subjects was 'for the greater good'. Wasn't that exactly Far Zenith's defense for what they'd done to the world, that no sacrifice was too great in the name of progress? Even if it led to advancements in medicine and science, those were people down there, people just as alive as any other human! What made Far Zenith's goal of conquering other planets more important than Jill's dream of going on a 'hayride' in person? What made the pain of a captured outlander worth less than the possible illness of someone else who might be treated in the future? It was wrong, it had to be. But then…the opposite was also true: what made future suffering or goals less valid than those of the present? Just the fact that it involved innocent people dying? Surely, any goal that involved torturing and killing innocents wasn't worth whatever benefits it might provide…but what if there was no other way, in some cases? There always had to be another way, and yet…
"Sometimes, there are no clear answers."
More than anything, what Aloy needed right now was some sense of clarity, something to cut through her confused and muddled thoughts and make her feel like there was an answer. And in all her life, she'd only ever found that kind of clarity in one place. One person.
With a sigh, Aloy got up to make for the door, leaving her packs and weapons and armor behind but determined to at least sleep in the same room as her partner. She needed the comfort of Nil's closeness tonight, now more than ever, even if they couldn't touch.
"Aloy?"
The moment Aloy opened the door, an anxious voice spoke up, making her jump - she hadn't expected anyone to be out this late, but Sorren appeared to have been sitting on the steps to her cabin.
"Sorren," Aloy said cautiously. "Why are you…waiting here?"
"The President doesn't want you leaving," Sorren explained, though he seemed apologetic. "I'm supposed to stay here all night, and if either of you leave your rooms, I'm to encourage you to go back inside. So…uh…" He smiled awkwardly. "Please go back inside?"
"I think we both know I'm not going to do that," Aloy chuckled, and she stepped across the threshold into the night. After only a few more steps, though, she hesitated, and after a moment's consideration, sat down on the step beside the Deima boy.
"Are you…well?" Sorren inquired.
Aloy considered the question, then decided to not waste time answering directly. Instead, she said, "The night Nil and I crossed the border into the Forbidden West, the Bacchan welcome party tried to kill us. We killed them first, but we managed to get some answers out of one of them before he died. He told us the Deima would peel our skins from our bodies in bonfires while we were still alive, and that you wouldn't let us die until after you'd eaten our lungs and livers. But, to be honest…I think I would prefer that to what you actually do to the people you capture."
"Uh…" Sorren laughed nervously. "I don't know where they got that idea. If we ever performed those kinds of experiments, it would have been way back in the earliest days of our studies. Although," he added thoughtfully, "the Bacchan tribe did form from our earliest experiments, and we've never only performed one study at a time, maybe we did do something like that at one point."
"Of course," Aloy sighed. "Makes sense now. You fed people Machine blood just to see what it would do to them, the Corsair split from you in protest of the new tribal policy, and the Bacchan got addicted to the blood and built their own tribe from it."
"That's right," Sorren confirmed. "We certainly weren't expecting Machine blood to be so addictive, but when our experiments on the matter were done, we let the test subjects go, and they ended up creating their own society founded on drinking the blood of Machines. Of course, things have changed a lot since then - they were still perfectly good test subjects, more could have been done with them. We aren't so wasteful now."
"How can you be so okay with all this?" Aloy asked. "I understand you've been raised to believe it's for the greater good, but…" She shook her head. "I can't believe you don't know better than that."
"It's…" Sorren pursed his lips uncomfortably. "I know it's hard to watch. I could never be one of the testers, I'm too…flawed. But at least I can be a hunter. I know I should be eager to offer myself as a test subject, but…" He shrugged. "Well, I'm flawed. Too flawed to overcome it."
"You mean you're scared?" Aloy asked. "That's not a flaw, Sorren. What your people do to test subjects is horrific, it's not something to be eager for. No one should have to be tortured like that."
"But test subjects get to become Perfect Ones after they die," Sorren protested. "I'd have to lose my memories - even beings designed to be Perfect Ones can be triggered to feel, slightly, usually if they're rebuilt before their absolute brain death wipes out their memories - but then I'd never be afraid again, I wouldn't suffer. I'd be perfect. But…"
"Sorren…" Aloy sighed. "The Humanoids aren't perfect. Humans aren't perfect, but I'd much rather be human than a Humanoid. They don't feel anything."
"But it's good not to feel," Sorren protested. "That's why Mother made them. They'll never suffer."
"They'll never be happy, either," Aloy pointed out softly. "They'll never be glad they were born. They don't want to live, there's nothing they want to do in life. They don't have a reason to exist."
Sorren blinked his eyes rapidly, as though shocked by her words.
Aloy sighed. "Every person in this world has a place," she told Sorren. "A reason why they were born. I came out here to the Forbidden West to find that meaning for myself - and I still might not be sure who I am, but at least I know I'm someone. I know that I want to live, that there are things I want to do. That makes me more than a Humanoid; my life has a meaning. Theirs have none."
"But…they're perfect…" Sorren all but whimpered, desperation clear in his voice.
"Is there something in life that makes you happy?" Aloy asked him. "Something that makes you glad to be alive?"
The young Deima didn't answer, but Aloy caught his slight gasp.
"That's important, Sorren," she told him. "Whatever it is you thought of just now, it's a meaning. And it's something the Humanoids will never know. Living isn't just about breathing, it's about feeling. Wanting. Dreaming. And your dreams give your life purpose."
Pursing his lips tightly, Sorren shook his head, looking away from her. "I don't…"
"You know I'm right," Aloy said softly. "I know you do. And…tomorrow, when I talk to ELEUTHIA, I'm going to explain it to her until she understands, too."
"But Mother is a goddess," Sorren said. "She's not capable of being wrong."
"She's not what you think," Aloy sighed. "She's…well, she's not human, but she is a person. And she's suffered a tremendous loss. I'm going to help her."
Sorren turned to stare at her for a long minute; she met his eyes calmly, trying to convey her certainty without speaking further. Slowly, a frown crept across the boy's lips, his brow furrowing in confusion.
"You know I'm right, Sorren," Aloy repeated, trying to be gentle. "Your life means something, as mine does, as every human's does, and that makes us better than Humanoids." She frowned at him and added, "And it also means that those test subjects you're torturing in that old bunker matter, too. They're people, they're just as alive and valuable as you and me, because they feel and dream, too. That's why your people are wrong to experiment on them, no matter the 'greater good' they preach. Every life matters."
"I…" Sorren swallowed hard.
"But you already know that," Aloy went on. "That's why your tribe doesn't parlay with outsiders, right? Why you were disgraced for talking to me? Because not talking to people outside your tribe makes it easier to not think of them as people?"
"Empathy is a powerful instinct for humans," Sorren said, almost defensively. "Well…most humans, at least. Some…" He glanced over at Nil's cabin, as Aloy did. "Some don't have to contend with it. But for most, it's…a hindrance."
"Or the opposite," Aloy argued. "People aren't just worthy sacrifices in the name of progress, Sorren." She hesitated, then took a breath and pressed on, "Look, humanity as a whole might not be good, or worth fighting for. I've seen the worst of mankind, and I know that there will always be criminals, and monsters, tainted ones whose existence makes the world a worse place. But every individual person…matters, somehow. We all have something that makes us mean something, and…that's…that's something worth believing in."
"You've killed people," Sorren pointed out.
"I've killed people who were trying to kill me!" Aloy snapped. "I kill to protect, and to survive! Your test subjects are locked in metal boxes, helpless and suffering, and you're torturing them to death! That's not okay, Sorren, they're people who are just as alive as you and me, with dreams and feelings that are just as valid!"
"It's for the greater good," Sorren recited.
"The greater good isn't worth torturing helpless victims," Aloy stated.
They sat together in silence for a minute. Aloy wasn't sure why she didn't get up and walk away, but…maybe, if she could convince one Deima, she could convince them all.
"What was it you didn't say earlier?" she eventually asked. "The thing that makes you feel alive, that your tribe is trying to invalidate?"
"It's…I…Well, what about you?" he countered abruptly. "What is it that makes you happy to be alive?"
"I don't know," Aloy sighed, clasping Rost's pendant unconsciously; if she was going to demand this hunter open up to her, the least she could do was open up to him. "I mean, there are things I enjoy, but…as far as who I am, what my place is in this world…I still don't know. Like I said, I came out here to the Forbidden West to find out, but, well…"
"Why here, anyway?" Sorren inquired. "The Perfect Ones say that to the eastern tribes, all the territory from the Oasis to the sea is known as the Forbidden West, they fear this land…mostly because of my people," he admitted. "But no one's allowed to go this way, so…why did you come here?"
"I needed to get away," Aloy answered. "I'm…My life is…complicated, all the tribes back east know me and have expectations of me, and…there are other things back east that I just…needed to get away from. I thought coming out here might help me get a better perspective, like surveying land from a distance." She hesitated, then added, "Really, it was Nil's idea, though I'd been thinking about it before I talked to him."
"And, about…your partner," Sorren said slowly. "The Perfect Ones looked into him some more when we found out he was traveling with the anomaly - you. I don't know the details, but I know he's a murderer, yet you seem perfectly fine with him."
"He's a killer," Aloy corrected, "not a murderer. He lives to kill people, but…never someone who can't fight back. He's absolutely committed to his honor, he takes no pleasure in torturing others and he'd never kill someone who was helpless." Despite herself, she chuckled. "You have no idea how many times I've heard him say 'honor above pleasure, honor above survival' since I started traveling with him. He's a bloodthirsty lunatic, but unlike your people, he's not a monster. I doubt the Humanoids know all that, though - any stories they found about him are from before his time in prison, and he didn't finish figuring himself out until after his sentence ended."
"Well…like I said, I don't know the details," Sorren mumbled, and Aloy thought she saw his pale cheeks flush in the low light. "But when it became clear that you and he were lovers, Mother was…upset. The anomaly was horribly flawed, she said."
"Well, I'm not perfect," Aloy said, trying to laugh it off.
"But you're not…I mean, you're…" Sorren seemed to scramble for a minute. "What I'm trying to say is…why? Why are you with him? You just said you value every life in the world, and you're so angry at my tribe for our work, it doesn't make sense that you'd choose a killer to be your partner. Why did you start traveling with him?"
"Because he asked to join me," Aloy answered resignedly. "He wanted to come out here to see if he could find new people to fight and kill, but what he wants most is to die in a fight to the death against me; he offered to help me survive this journey so I could eventually do that."
"Will you?" Sorren gasped.
"…Probably not," Aloy replied, her hand drifting to the pendant Nil had designed for her. "We've…gotten close, since we started traveling together. Really close. I didn't care about him at all when we left, but I've…learned a lot about him since." She sighed and turned away, gazing off into the distance.
"I just…don't understand," Sorren repeated, shaking his head. "We kill for knowledge, he just kills for fun. How can you criticize my people but defend him?"
"It's different," Aloy insisted. "He's not just a killer. He's honorable, as I said, and-"
"But how are we worse?" Sorren pressed. "We strive to make our tribe healthy and strong, to gain something from…what we do. He isn't serving any greater purpose, honor or no."
"At least he doesn't claim otherwise," Aloy snapped. "He knows who he is and doesn't apologize, he's the most honest man I know." She scowled. "So many people make excuses for what they do, but Nil hates excuses. The day I met him, he was hunting bandits; I helped, to keep the Nora tribe safe, and then I asked him why he seemed so obsessed with killing them. I asked if they'd wronged him, and he…" She blinked. "…gave a very…ambiguous answer…that I understand now." Internally, she winced, remembering the question she'd asked, knowing now that his grandparents had been bandits and he tried not to think about it. Drawing a breath, she set it aside and pressed on, "And when I asked if he hunted bandits to help others, he immediately denied it, told me directly that it was for sport and nothing more. Everyone else I've ever met plays games, they lie and they justify and try to act like they're in the right, but I offered him a chance to do that and he refused it without hesitation. Nil doesn't pretend to be a good man, he embraces who he is and owns it."
"You don't think he's a good man?" Sorren questioned.
"Of course not!" Aloy all but laughed. "He's a bloodthirsty lunatic. But…he makes the best of who he is. He does good, by being himself…I said that day that he does the right thing for the wrong reason, but the more I think about it, the more I wonder how much that even matters. He knows what's important to him, and he still finds a way to make the world better without denying his own identity, by finding the only reasons he can care about."
"But he still kills for fun!" Sorren protested. "I'm trying to understand, but it doesn't make sense that you're his lover but hate my tribe's experiments. If you hate death so much, why did you let him get close?"
"I didn't let him get close," Aloy said, "it just sort of…happened."
"How?" Sorren asked.
"Why do you need to know?" Aloy retorted.
"Trying to understand people is my tribe's passion," Sorren shrugged, though Aloy noticed he didn't say it was his passion.
"So you're spying for your tribe, then," Aloy sighed, and it wasn't a question.
"I didn't-!" Sorren cut off, grimacing. "I just…want to understand, Aloy. Please."
Aloy took a deep breath. This was private, and she didn't want to share it, but…on the other hand, what she and Nil shared was so based on sentiment, on feeling, on everything the Deima rejected…surely it would be better to tell, to share what she believed in? After all, if there was one thing she was sure she still believed in, even after finding out about Far Zenith and the horrors of this tribe, it was her bond with Nil.
"I trust him," she said at last. "I can trust him no matter what, I never have to wonder what he's thinking - if I ever do, I can ask, and I know he'll answer, and tell the truth. Over the course of this journey, he's proved I can trust him, he's done so much for me, given so much for me, he always has my back and always supports me no matter what. I know he still hopes to die in a duel against me someday, but…well…" She swallowed hard, fighting a surprising sting in her eyes. "He believes in me," she whispered. "I've told him everything, and he's never done anything but support me. And when I'm with him, I…I feel like I can believe in myself, even despite…certain things. Like I'm real, in ways I sort of shouldn't be. I've never been so close to someone…and I can't imagine ever being so close to anyone else I've ever met. And…he's made me happier than I've ever been in my life. I've been alone for so long, but with him, I feel like…it was all worth it." Shaking her head, she gave a wistful sigh. "I don't know. I know he's not a good person, but…there's good in him, I know there is, because I've seen it in how he treats me…how he loves me. And he makes me feel…stronger. Like there's nothing I can't face, not just because I have to survive but because I really can do anything, like he always says I can. That's…all it is, really. Even knowing that he lives to kill, what he's done for me, and how he makes me feel…it's more precious to me than anything else in this world."
"Wow," Sorren breathed; when she finally met his eyes again, she saw them wide and starry. "You really love this guy."
"No!" Aloy exclaimed. "No, I don't love him! I can't…" She trailed off, wondering why the words tasted less than true on her tongue. "I can't," she repeated, almost to herself.
Sorren gave her a surprisingly knowing look. "We don't just study physical limitations in humans, you know," he told her; "we also study thought and emotion. And…one thing we've proven is that emotions can't be reasoned with or away. You don't need a reason to love someone, and it doesn't matter if you have reasons not to love them; you feel what you feel, regardless of logic."
"Well, I don't," Aloy avowed firmly. "I don't love him. But…he is my mate, I care about him and I'm close to him and he makes me happy. And I can't imagine sharing what I have with him with anyone else."
"Sounds like love to me," Sorren remarked.
"It's not!" Aloy insisted, her heart pounding in her chest. Forcing several deep breaths, she rubbed her hands over her face. "It can't be," she whispered. "I can't love a killer, not even an honest and honorable one."
"There was something between you two even before your journey," Sorren pointed out. "You said it yourself, you turned to him even before you chose to come out here."
"Not because I liked him," Aloy sighed. "Like I said, Nil knows who he is, he understands himself perfectly, I knew that even before I cared for him. I was going through some uncertainty, and I turned to him for advice, just because he's always so sure of himself. I…envy him, for knowing himself like he does. Coming out here to get a fresh perspective on myself was as much his idea as it was mine, and…like I said, he offered to come with me, as an added blade."
"Did coming out here help?" Sorren asked. "With finding yourself, I mean?"
"Some," Aloy replied, brushing her fingers against Elisabet's globe. "I mean, finding myself isn't so easy - it's not like I turn a corner and, oh, there I am. In fact, I…I've seen some things in the last couple of days that are making me question everything I thought I'd figured out. I still know myself better than I did before I came out here, though, or at least I think I do…If nothing else, I'm at least more certain than I was that figuring myself out is even possible - that I'm a person, one I can figure out, not just a…" She shook her head. "Never mind," she said, "it's complicated."
"I…see," Sorren obviously lied.
"No, you don't," Aloy said, looking off into the distance. "You have no idea. But at least I know my life means something, and that makes me better than a Humanoid."
"Hm."
Silence stretched between them for a minute.
"I'm…going to sleep with Nil," Aloy sighed at last. "I don't want to be alone tonight, whether I can bed him or not. Being with him might not be my purpose, but it does make me feel alive." She stood up and started walking.
"Flowers!" Sorren burst out suddenly.
"Huh?" Aloy turned around in surprise.
"I really love flowers," Sorren confessed in a rush, and she walked back over to sit beside him again. "I just…something about the colors, the radial patterns of petals, it's always made me feel…I don't know…"
"Alive?" Aloy finished.
"Yeah," Sorren sighed. "Flowers are just…these wonders of nature. Some of them work really hard to blossom - did you know that plants can burrow their way into rocks if they aren't planted in soil? The things they do to sprout, the determination to live…and the flowers. We know flowers are fragrant and colorful to attract pollinators, like bees, but…surely the bees don't really appreciate the glory of them. They're like jewels in the forms of plants." A smile curled on his lips. "I…would love to grow flowers of my own," he said distantly. "Maybe even breed them, see if I can make some new, more brilliant flowers. Maybe, if I could cross-breed herbal flowers, I could make stronger medicine, too - imagine a plant with roots that, if you brewed them, helped your body heal damage and gave you resistance to heat or cold! That would be…" His smile faded. "That would be useful. But I'd just want to see what kinds of flowers would bloom on such a plant."
"That's what really matters, Sorren," Aloy told him softly. "Maybe it has practical uses, like what you're describing, but the Humanoids wouldn't ever try to make that kind of plant, not even for that purpose, because they don't have the passion you have, the desire. It's your love for flowers that would inspire you to make more potent medicinal plants, not reason or practicality. That's…what's inspired humanity's greatest achievements, both in ancient times, and today: love, and dreams. That's what makes us better than the Humanoids."
He looked at her, his blue eyes deep, thoughtful, almost sad, and he didn't say anything for a long minute. Then, instead of speaking, he reached to his side and pulled a couple of small objects off his belt. "Here," he said, holding them out to her.
"What are these?" Aloy asked, taking the two small, metal sticks.
"The keys to your and your partner's shock collars," Sorren answered. "You can take them off, if you want to…be together."
Aloy's jaw dropped, and she shook her head. "That's not why I'm talking to you, Sorren," she stated.
"I know," he assured her, and he offered a faint smile. "But if you're going to convince Mother to get rid of the Humanoids tomorrow, they won't be needed much longer anyway…and I think you will. Of course, you don't have to take them-"
"No!" Aloy yelped, jerking her hand away from where Sorren was reaching to take back the keys.
At the same time, they both burst out laughing, and Aloy felt a knot in her chest release.
"I'll…I'll take them," she managed at last, still chuckling. "Thanks."
"Just try not to be too loud, so I don't get in trouble," Sorren requested.
"I will," Aloy promised. "Thank you, Sorren."
"Thank you, Aloy," he told her, and his blue eyes were shining with genuine gratitude, even in the night.
She nodded. "I'll see you in the morning," she told him.
"Mother probably won't summon you until late morning," he told her, "so you can sleep in if you need to."
"Thanks," Aloy nodded. "And get some sleep yourself, okay?"
"Yeah, I was gonna sleep here," Sorren assured her. "I'm a light sleeper. That's one of the reasons I'm a hunter."
"Good," Aloy smiled. "Good night, Sorren."
"Good night," he called after her as she walked quickly over to Nil's cabin.
When she opened the door, she was somewhat surprised to see that a lantern was lit by the bed, and Nil was sitting up, his naked body only half-covered by the sheets, his teeth already gleaming.
"Aloy," he greeted. "I thought you'd be here sooner."
"You did?" Aloy asked, blinking. "What made you think I'd be coming over at all?"
"Well," he said as she walked over to sit down on his bed, "considering what we saw here today, I…figured you wouldn't want to be alone."
There was something apprehensive in his silver eyes, and Aloy felt heat prickle her cheeks, remembering what had happened the previous day, how she'd acted. "Nil-"
"No no, I understand," he assured her, scooting over to sit beside her, a sheet still covering his waist. "I mean, this tribe is essentially Far Zenith all over again." He raised his eyebrows at her. "Am I wrong?"
"No," Aloy admitted, "you're not wrong. And I would have been here sooner, but I stopped to talk to Sorren."
"And how'd that go?" Nil inquired.
Aloy heaved a long, heavy sigh. "I'm…not sure if there's anything I can do about this tribe, short of burning them to the ground," she said. "Sorren insists that it's all for the greater good, even though I know he knows it's wrong, because that's what he was raised to believe. Maybe if I take it up with ELEUTHIA, or Winoa…" She shook her head. "I don't know."
"Well, if you decide there's nothing for it but to burn them to the ground, I'd be happy to oblige," Nil teased, flashing his teeth at her.
In spite of herself, Aloy laughed at the joke, knowing he knew she would never ask for such a thing. "I'll keep that in mind," she chuckled. "Anyway, he…did give me these." She opened her hand to show him the keys. "The keys to our shock collars, so we can take them off. So, you know, maybe he's not entirely beyond hope."
Nil's eyes lit up, and he grinned wickedly, though he made no move to take one. Aloy gave him a sarcastic smile even as she slotted one of the keys into a notch at the back of the band around her throat, where the collar's clasp locked. It readily clicked open, and she removed the choking metal strip with relief.
"Guess this one's yours," she said, holding the other little rod out to him as she leaned over to set her shock collar on a nearby table, then quickly took off her Focus and placed it with the discarded metal band.
"Well, hold on," he smirked, his silver eyes gleaming when she turned back to him in surprise. "Before I take this off, I want to try something."
"What?" Aloy blinked.
"The Old Ones had some…very intriguing methods," Nil chuckled as she sat back down beside him. "I wasn't sure I'd get to try it, knowing how you feel about hurting people, but this shock collar provides a very unique opportunity."
"To do what?" Aloy asked, baffled.
"To mix pleasure and pain," Nil grinned. "Come here, let's test this old-world technique."
"Nil, I-"
"You don't have to do anything," he coaxed, already reaching for her. "I'm not asking you to try it yourself. But I'm curious."
"You're insane," Aloy managed faintly as he started working at the ties of her leathers.
He gave a dark laugh before pressing a kiss to her mouth, and she melted at the taste of him, as ever, helping him remove her clothes as she sank into the familiar movements of being close to him.
"Oof," he grunted, jerking under her touch, and he laughed again. "That's interesting."
"You don't have to-"
"If it gets to be too much, I'll take it off," he assured her, still moving to peel away the rest of her garments.
As their bodies came together, she felt him jerking and flinching, but he was chuckling as he trailed kisses down her neck, his arms wrapping around her and pulling her close before rolling over to cover her body with his own, calloused fingers tracing her scars, his hardness jabbing between her thighs.
"Very interesting," he said, his voice strained, as he positioned himself and slid inside her. Aloy felt a rush of pleasure, but he cried out and jerked back. "Agh! Okay, that's too much," he conceded, and he pulled out of her to pick up his key where she'd dropped at, quickly unclasping the band and setting it aside. "Interesting, though," he repeated, catching his breath even as he flashed his teeth at Aloy. "If there was a way to tone it down a bit, I could enjoy it."
"You're insane," Aloy repeated resignedly as he crawled back on top of her.
"If I'm insane, then the Old Ones were too," he chuckled.
"Anyone who enjoys pain has to be insane," Aloy sighed, though she arched against him, eager for him to sheath himself inside her once more.
"I've never minded pain," Nil told her. "I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all."
"Me too," Aloy admitted. "But that doesn't mean I enjoy it."
Another laugh met her statement, quickly followed by their bodies joining together, ending the conversation. Aloy moaned, wrapping her arms and legs around her partner as he pressed deep inside her, bliss washing over her, drowning out thoughts and memories of the horrors of the Deima tribe's secrets. Here and now, she lost herself in Nil, tasting him and feeling him and letting him consume every bit of her existence, so there was nothing but their bond, this closeness, the ecstasy of his manhood pumping through her as she lifted her hips to meet him, ever in sync. This was something else the Humanoids would never know - they might be capable of bodily pleasure, or maybe they weren't, but even if they were, they'd never be able to feel this bond, this absolute intimacy with another person that went so far beyond an act of flesh.
Barely able to remember Sorren's request, Aloy only just managed to bite down hard on Nil's shoulder to smother her scream as she exploded under his touch, shattering and burning to nothingness in total euphoria, pleasure obliterating her thoughts and feelings and rendering her blank, free of all her troubles. It wasn't until she came down and felt Nil's heart thundering against hers, their chests both heaving, that she realized she'd forgotten to bring her antidotes with her - she had thought she wouldn't need them, given the shock collars, and she hadn't gone back after Sorren gave her the keys…Oh well, she thought. It's fine. Strange as it was, it didn't really seem to matter that much for some reason…
"Nervous about meeting ELEUTHIA?" Nil murmured as they shifted to rest comfortably in each other's arms.
"No," she answered sleepily. "She'll listen. She has to." If nothing else, an idea for how she could convince ELEUTHIA to stop making Humanoids and start helping to rebuild GAIA had been forming in her head ever since her birthday ritual had given her clarity on a certain subject - a final statement, one she felt confident even a sub-function couldn't argue against. All she had to do was muster the strength to say it…
"If anyone can make her listen, it's you, my love," Nil murmured.
His love and absolute faith in her sent a wave of warmth flowing over her entire being, and she relaxed, quickly slipping into sleep. As much as she knew she should fear what morning would bring, she only felt safe, and comfortable, and happy, as only Nil had ever made her feel.