"I see oceans in your eyes. It makes me scared."
-Scared, by Jeremy Zucker.
Annabeth Chase didn't know when it happened. When the person she loved most in her life also became the person she feared the most. Perhaps it was during Tartarus. He'd wished for a more painful death for Arachne. He manipulated a Titan, one whose memory he'd washed away with the River Lethe. He usurped control of Akhyls' poison, threatened her with her own powers. Akhyls, a Primordial Goddess. Maybe it was before, when he risked oblivion to take on the Curse of Achilles, to gain the power to stand toe to toe with the King of the Titans, handicapped though Kronos may have been. Maybe it was the first day she saw him. When he'd been dragged over the property line by a young and unsure Grover Underwood, barely coherent, drowning in sorrow from what he thought was his mother's death.
His pupils were glazed with grief, and his lids were fighting a futile battle against exhaustion. She'd looked him in his distant, sea-green eyes, and she saw untold depths, crushing pressure, swirling vortexes, raging tides. She saw whirlpools that capsized ships, storm clouds that obscured planes, towering tsunamis that swallowed coastal towns. Annabeth looked into Perseus Jackson's eyes, and she saw oceans.
It made her scared.
No, I don't miss you yet. You're just a feeling I'd rather forget."
-Oh, Mexico, by Jeremy Zucker.
Sometimes, ADHD was a blessing, Aside from the whole keeps-demigods-alive-in-battle thing, although that was pretty nice. Because when he wasn't in the middle of fighting for his life, his restless mind pushed him to find something else to occupy his time. Anything, to keep him from dwelling on these pent-up feelings that sometimes made it feel like his heart was going to explode.
Estelle was amazing. Both because she was family- normal, completely mortal family, which he was in desperate need of these days- and because she was incredibly needy. When his mother wasn't around, which was often these last few days due to constant meetings with her publisher, Sally turned to her eldest child to take care of his sister. Percy jumped at the opportunity every chance he got, even going so far as taking the toddler with him if he needed to stop by NYU's campus (New Rome University was a pipe dream, now that Estelle was around. He couldn't bring himself to willingly move across the country, after all the time he'd missed with his family due to circumstances outside his control). As such, Percy was commonly referred to as 'that one guy who brings his adorable baby sister to class,' which made him grin like a fool every time he heard it. That was the extent of these people's knowledge about him, aside from his name.
Not the Son of Poseidon. Not the Titan-Slayer (even though he'd never actually killed a Titan in one-on-one combat. That was all Jason). Not the Savior of Olympus (as if he was the only one who'd stood against Kronos, which was a ridiculous notion). No, here, in the mortal world, he was just Percy Jackson, the quiet guy with the cute little sis. And gods be damned, it felt good to be so free! No unreasonable expectations, or world-ending prophecies literally every year. He could deal with the occasional monster attack. He could deal with the occasionally wayward demigod who needed a hand (like Apollo, which had been beyond weird).
He couldn't deal with the heartache that tore him apart every night, though. Not when the night was silent- the background noise of the Big Apple long since tuned out by instinct- and he lay alone in his bed, staring at a ceiling illuminated by the constant light flooding through his bedroom window. How was he supposed to handle something that he just didn't get?
Percy didn't understand why Annabeth had broken up with him. After all the things they'd been through- six years, two wars, two Great Prophecies, Tartarus… And for her to say she just didn't think it would work out? He pressed her, he shouted, and begged, and pleaded for something, some tiny scrap of rationale, some sort of reason that made it okay, in her mind, to just rip his heart out like that. It was a heated moment, so maybe he shouldn't blame her for it, but he definitely hadn't been expecting the Daughter of Athena to slap him.
It wasn't like it was the first time, though, not by far. They fought all the time, often settling their blowouts in the arena (Annabeth tended to win most of the time, but he was totally just letting her. Yeah, definitely). It had been the first time she'd seemed scared of his retaliation, though. Usually, she was more wary, ready for him to try and pull a fast one (not that he'd be able to, not over her), but the way she flinched back, the way she instantly skittered back out of arms reach, hand laying on the hilt of her drakon bone sword… It gave no answers, and raised far too many questions.
That was a month ago. The last time they'd spoken. Percy hadn't been to Camp Half-Blood since. He threw himself into his mortal life completely, the only reminder that he was different from the people around him being the ballpoint pen in his pocket. Every evening, he went to sleep, hoping for a sign from the girl who'd stolen his heart; an Iris-Message waking him up in the middle of the night, or a prophetic dream that would somehow magically explain everything. Every morning, he woke up feeling worse than when he went to bed. He couldn't afford to dwell on it, though, or he'd go insane. He had to be strong, for his mother, who was so close to breaking after seeing him in peril so often throughout the years, and for Estelle, who he didn't want growing up without her big brother. Right now, he couldn't afford to miss Annabeth Chase.
The only choice left was to forget.
"Thought we'd never see the sun fade. Now we'll never see that shit shining."
-Jula, by Jeremy Zucker.
Sometimes, Annabeth wondered if she might've made a mistake. Percy… Was the best thing to have ever happened to her. He made her feel amazing, in ways she couldn't even describe. Nobody would ever come close to being able to love her the way Percy did, and Annabeth didn't think she'd ever let anyone try. Sappy though it might sound, he made her feel complete.
Without him, she just felt hollow.
It was as if she'd ripped out her own heart along with his on that fateful day when enough had become enough, and she broke up with him. Admittedly, she could've handled it better. Dropping a bomb, slapping him across the face, then running away to her father's house in California? Yeah, not the best move. But she hadn't been able to stay next to him anymore, not after she saw the glint in his eyes. It was the same sharpness she'd seen when they were in the elevator behind the Doors of Death, and Percy swore to kill Gaia, to tear her apart with his bare hands, and this time, it had been directed at her.
Tartarus had irrevocably changed him. Changed both of them. But sometimes, Annabeth wondered if that darkness had not always been dwelling in Percy, deep down, and the sulphurous miasma of the Pit was simply the catalyst that released it. After all, monsters thrived in Tartarus, didn't they?
That was cruel, and dehumanizing. Percy didn't deserve that, not in the slightest. He'd been nothing but the best… Yet, for some gods-forsaken reason, Annabeth's body wouldn't get with the program. He set off all of her instincts, and she was constantly tamping down her fight-or-flight reflex. He was just so powerful! It rolled off him like the waves he controlled, washing over Annabeth, but where it was once calming and intoxicating, it now felt like she was bathing in acid. Maybe this was what he felt when he took a dip in the Styx.
For all her wisdom and intelligence, Annabeth couldn't figure out what had poisoned her mind against the love of her life. All she knew was that her sun had set below the horizon.
It didn't look like the moon was going to be rising any time soon.
"I'm just so happy you're living. I wouldn't ask you for more."
-Orchid, by Jeremy Zucker.
One month turned to two, then six, and finally, a year had passed. Percy miraculously passed both his first and second semester, and wasn't even on academic parole! His mother had been so happy, she'd baked a dozen trays of cookies as a reward to celebrate his first full year of college. Percy had halfheartedly complained about her trying to make fat, but his accusations fell flat when she had to scold him for eating far too many pastries in one sitting. Thank the gods that demigods had incredibly active metabolisms, or he'd have put on at least a hundred pounds simply because of his mom's fantastic baking, not to mention the unholy amount of pizza that he consumed.
Paul had finally managed to save up enough money to buy another car- a four-seater Volkswagen- and gifted Percy the old Prius. The dents in the hood from Blackjack's hooves were still there, but Percy hadn't been able to bring himself to get it repaired. Besides, it gave him a chuckle every time. It also reminded him that he should really call up Rachel one of these days, get back in touch with his first ever mortal friend. He hadn't been very good about keeping in contact with people from that side of his life. Not since he and Annabeth broke up.
Rachel Elizabeth Dare wondered why she wasn't that surprised when Percy Iris-Messaged her. Then again, she wasn't really surprised by much these days. It was as if her body expected things to happen, on a level she didn't quite understand. Maybe that was just the Oracle talking, though.
"'Sup, Jackson?" she greeted, not looking away from the umpteenth painting of the Manhattan skyline, visible from her ceiling-to-floor penthouse windows. This time, she was doing it in crayon. The sun was setting, so he was probably done with classes for the day, and was only now getting a bit of free time.
"Hey, Red," he replied, somewhat awkwardly. "Um… Have you met Estelle?" He hefted the baby in his arms, making her squeal in delight. Rachel smiled softly.
"Nope, can't say I've had the pleasure. She's adorable."
"Yup!" Percy agreed, grinning brightly. His smile dimmed slightly, and he set his sister back in his lap. "So, uh… What's going on? How's school?" he asked lamely. Rachel chuckled fondly- same old Percy.
"I'm still going to Clarion Ladies Academy- turns out they have a division for university students, so I'm stuck there for another three years. Whoop-de-doo," she said sarcastically, twirling her crayon in the air.
Percy grimaced. The only reason she was going there was because of him dragging her into Daedalus' Labyrinth. "Gods, Rachel, I'm so sorry-"
The redhead waved him off. "Don't worry about it. I've already told you a million times, it's not that bad. Just a little stuffy- but that's what I have Camp for, to unwind after a long day of being a proper lady," she drawled, rolling her eyes. Both her and her father knew she'd never bother actually remembering those stupid lessons once she was free from that hellhole.
"Camp. Yeah," Percy muttered. "How're things there? Any quests? How's Chiron?"
"Chiron's fine, as always. His arthritis is acting up, though," she joked, making Percy chuckle. "Annabeth finally finished construction of the last few cabins for minor gods, and there's been a real influx of demigods these days. I think part of the reason why the minor gods held back from having kids was 'cause they didn't wanna stick 'em all in the Hermes Cabin, so new campers are popping up all the time. Other than that, it's really just business as usual, I guess, meaning no quests. That's your shtick, Aqualad." Percy's laugh became a bit strained, but Rachel figured it wasn't from the mention of his death-defying stunts. She heaved an exasperated sigh. "You can ask about her if you want, Percy."
"I-I wasn't going to!" Percy denied weakly. Rachel saw right through him, though, and raised a single brow. He deflated, slumping back against his couch. "…How's Annabeth?"
"She's doing alright. She's doing classes at New Rome, flying back to Camp when she's got free time. Still designing buildings 24/7, and terrifying the new campers." Rachel smirked- the Daughter of Athena really wasn't very good at first impressions. "She's not as happy as when you two were together, but she's alive."
Percy frowned, hugging Estelle closer to him and resting his chin on her tiny head. The baby gurgled in his grasp, pudgy hands waving in the air. "Does it make me a bad person if I'm… I dunno, satisfied at hearing that? Like, don't get me wrong," he said quickly, "I'm glad that she's alive, that she's doing fine, but… I kinda like knowing she's not happy without me, ya know?"
Rachel nodded slowly, turning the words over in her mind. "I get what you're saying, I think," she said after a moment. "You're relieved that you weren't the only one so heavily invested in that relationship, and that she didn't just move on in a week. You needed reassurance that she actually loved you, and there's no better proof than hearing that she's still torn up about it, even a year later."
"...Yeah," Percy said, not sounding too happy with the way she put it. "Something like that."
"Don't worry," Rachel said, picking up on his train of thought. "It's natural to wonder about stuff like that. I doubt many people are absolutely confident that someone loves them completely, without reservation. That doesn't make you an asshole- it makes you human."
The young man was mollified by the last bit, and his gaze turned tired, as if he'd aged ten thousand years before her very eyes. "I guess. How do you know so much about this stuff, Rachel?"
The woman shrugged. "Dunno. It just sounded good in my head. Maybe it's the Oracle." Percy wasn't buying it, but he didn't push for a more comprehensive answer.
"Maybe," he said, smiling halfheartedly. "Listen, it's time for me to put Estelle to bed, and I've got homework, so I think I'm gonna go now. Thanks for the talk, Red." He sounded genuinely grateful, and it put a smile on Rachel's face.
"No problem, Aqualad. See you around."
Percy swiped his hand through the rainbow, ending the call.
Not sure where else to go with this. It's just a bunch of shorts based on songs slapped together. Go check out Jeremy Zucker's songs, and enjoy.