T/W Panic attack / homophobia
Chapter ten
Emma twirled her pen as the teacher droned on about Jane Eyre, she really was listening even though the pen had yet to actually touch the page of her notebook.
Every other person in the AP English class was furiously writing notes about every single thing the man said about the Bildungsroman.
Emma had learned early in her life that she didn't need to make notes. She had gotten in trouble for this on more than one occasion, but she could only assume that the teachers were aware of her special circumstances since he had yet to actually look up to her as she listened.
There was also the fact that she had already studied Jane Eyre at another school and even though it hadn't been in an AP class, she had done a lot of research in her own time, so she was pretty confident on the topic.
Home room with Regina had been as awkward as she had expected it to be.
Their home room teacher had introduced her to the class and sent her to sit next to Regina. As he moved onto other news, she was sure that she had heard a few people whispering about her, though anyone had yet to actually come over to her and say anything to her face.
It was only first period, so the day was young.
Luckily, being taken to a twelfth grade AP class meant that she was currently surrounded by students working their assess off to get into Ivy Leagues, so none of them gave a shit about who the new girl was.
She had a feeling that circumstances would change when she went to her first tenth grade class, or worse yet, study hall.
She had yet to decide whether it would be a good thing that she would have Regina with her during these classes.
"Now each of you please find a partner to discuss the task I placed on your desks," the teacher announced, which brought Emma out of her small reminiscence of earlier that day, "and do please try to work with someone new," he added, hoping the new addition to the class wouldn't know that it was for her benefit.
Emma just fell backwards as people began dutifully milling around the room, with a few muttering about how they hated working with new people.
She resisted the strong urge to sigh at the fact that this lesson wouldn't simply be a lecture as she had hoped and pulled the work sheet towards herself so that she could prepare herself to do it alone.
That plan was put to an end when someone slipped into the seat next to her.
Emma frowned and looked over to the blonde newcomer, she opened her mouth to say something but was cut off by the welcoming smile.
"Hey," the older girl said as she began to rifle through her notebook to find the right page.
Emma instantly looked back down to the blank page of her own book, hoping that she wasn't visibly lushing at the distinct British accent that had come out in that single word, before she looked back to her and said, "hey," in reply.
The room filled with the buzz of conversation as everyone found their own pairs and started on the task.
"It's Emma Swan, right?" the girl finally asked.
"Yeah I am," Emma replied, and bit the inside of her cheek, how many articles had she read about her?
"Alice Kingsley," the older girl replied to the unasked question, "it's nice to meet you."
The younger of the pair actually felt a small smile tug at the corner of her lips as she allowed her eyes to move over Alice. She was wearing a hoodie bearing an image of the Triforce which was coupled with tight black jeans and hi-top black Vans.
Alice seemed to notice Emma's eyes looking down her chest and she smirked for a moment before she asked as she pointed at the image, "do you know what this is?"
"Yeah, it's the Triforce," Emma replied, though she could feel the blush grow deeper at the fact that the older girl had caught her staring at her chest.
"Finally, everyone else in this town thinks that Link's name is Zelda!"
Emma allowed herself to let out a little laughter as she felt her shoulders relax, she was pretty sure that the last time she had felt this comfortable around someone she had just met was with Lily, and she didn't think that lightening could ever strike twice.
However, she hadn't been a little attracted to Lily, which could only be a complication.
"I only played the first game," Emma admitted.
"So no Ocarina of Time?" Alice asked with a raised eyebrow and a shocked expression that suggested she was genuinely hurt by that fact.
"None of my foster families have ever had an N64," she replied, which caused her to look back down to the table. She never tended to mention that she was a foster child since it inevitably led to a number of questions.
However, Alice just replied, "that's just tragic."
Emma smiled, and was about to try and make a reply, however, she was interrupted by the sound of the teacher clearing his throat to get the class's attention.
"Your homework for Thursday is to complete the task with your partners and the please prepare a presentation based upon your findings," he called out just as the bell rang out.
Alice smirked at the shocked expression on Emma's face as people began gathering their things so that they could shuffle towards the exit. The older girl nudged her to tell her that she should start moving as well.
As Emma gathered her things, Alice glanced at the blank page and she tilted her head.
She had indeed read a few articles about the new girl back when the case was unfolding and she remembered something about her having an unusually high IQ. The blank page only seemed to confirm it for her, she definitely didn't seem like the type not to try in class.
"I guess that we actually need to start the task," Alice announced as the pair walked towards the door.
"I guess so," Emma replied.
Alice was about to suggest that they arrange a time to meet, but she was interrupted by the infamous captain of the cheerleading squad walking towards them and she had to stop herself from rolling her eyes at the girl. She had heard a few people talk about how Regina Mills was the new girl's buddy, but she had never found it within herself to care since it didn't affect her life at that point.
That was no longer the case.
Regina frowned at the girl who Emma appeared to be talking to and she couldn't stop herself from narrowing her eyes.
Alice looked back with raised eyebrows, though another bell rang out to remind her that this was hardly the time to pry into what the cheerleader's expression meant.
"Hey," Regina said, turning to look back at Emma, "are you ready to go?"
Emma nodded and she was about to tell Alice something, but she was cut short when the older girl grabbed her hand and scribbled something upon her palm.
"Text me and we can set up a time to meet," Alice said and Emma nodded as she released her hand and began walking away.
Regina scowled over her shoulder until she was sure that the older girl was gone and she turned back to Emma with a questioning frown.
Emma furrowed her brow at the expression on Regina's face.
From what she'd read, that expression meant jealousy, but she had to be reading it wrong right? It had to be wistful thinking.
"We're doing the paired homework task together," she explained, though she wasn't too sure why she had to explain this to her buddy.
Regina bit the inside of her cheek by way of stopping her internal screaming from becoming external.
"Oh, that's...good," she said, hoping that her words didn't sound too strained.
"You better get going to class, ladies," a random teacher called and Regina blew out a little breath of relief as she was reminded that there was a way out of this awkward situation.
S
The rest of the day went rather quickly for Emma. None of her classes were especially challenging, but they weren't mind-numbing so she was actually able to listen to the teacher between worrying about the next time that she would see Regina.
After Alegbra (a class which unfortunately did not have Alice in it) she was set to meet her buddy at her locker so that they could have lunch together and something about the thought of that had Emma's stomach in knots. Somehow, having lunch with the brunette felt a lot more pressured than sitting together in her room for a couple hours talking about school.
The bell rang and brought the blonde out of the thoughts that had been consuming her since the beginning of this class and she quickly looked around to see if anyone had noticed that she hadn't been listening. If the reassuring smile that the teacher shot her was any indication, he had either not noticed or he was putting on the same 'supportive' face that she was fairly certain that the entire faculty had been instructed to adopt when they were in her presence.
Emma swallowed hard and made quick work of gathering all of her things and throwing them into her bag so that she could join the rest of the class shuffling their way out into the hallway.
The moment that she crossed over the threshold, she froze as ten people rushed past her in about ten seconds, obviously all very eager to get to the cafeteria. The blonde stood frozen in place for a few more seconds before she felt someone push past behind her and she realised that she hadn't been the last person trying to leave the classroom. She looked down to the ground just in time to miss the dirty look that she was sure the people trying to pass her were shooting her way and she began to shuffle towards her destination.
She imagined for a moment that she could just go to the library and avoid the whole ordeal of the cafeteria (like she would have done in almost every other school that she had attended) but she quickly decided against it when it occurred to her that Regina would probably get in to trouble if she didn't perform her buddy duties perfectly. There was also the fact that Emma wasn't exactly in any position to pass up an opportunity to spend time with the girl who she was so infatuated with that made her continue her slow walk along the path that she had spent time memorising in the days before she started at Storybrooke High.
As she walked, the thought of just how much she wanted to spend time with Regina caused a blush to begin to creep up her neck and she instinctively pulled the straps of her backpack closer to her body as if it would protect her from the stares of the people who were currently glaring at her from their lockers. Even if she logically knew that there was no way that any of them could know what she was thinking, this did nothing to subside the tightening knot in her stomach and she desperately tried to focus on the end of the hallway. All she had to do was make it to the end and turn the corner and she should find Regina waiting for her, but it seemed as though her destination was getting further and further away the more she took steps forward.
The sound in the hallway seemed to amplify and Emma's eyes quickly looked from side to side. They were all looking at her and whispering about her, she was sure about it. Many of them were clutching their phones as if they were waiting for her to do something weird that they could post online. All they had to do was bring up the name of 'Emma Swan' again and the media would jump right back onto the story. She would be the number one trending topic in no time: 'Social Services continues to fail Emma Swan: abuse victim has panic attack at school'.
She tried to push this thought aside and focus on her breathing (as she had been told to do by Archie many times), but someone pushed past her again and she realised that she must have been standing stock still and she had no idea when her feet had stopped working. The fact that she was standing blankly in the hallway probably didn't help with looking normal and she was definitely receiving curious glances from a few people, along with some smirks and increased whispering.
The blonde caught the eye of a couple of people who were definitely staring at her and her breaths now began to come out short and strained as her throat constricted.
Racing heart. Feeling dizzy and faint. Sense of terror. Loss of control. Breathing difficulties. Emma listed in her mind, she knew instantly that she was in the midst of a panic attack. But for some reason she found that her eidetic memory was completely blank of all of the techniques that she had purposefully memorised after the last time this had happened.
With what was left of her logical mind, she attempted to move forward and she quickly felt herself stumble into the locker next to her with a little thud.
If people hadn't been looking at her before, then they certainly were now and a girl who she had never seen before came over to her with a familiar look in her eyes. Behind her, stood a very familiar blonde with wide eyes as she looked on at the scene. Seeing Kathryn only reminded Emma of the mall and all of the questions that the entire student body probably wanted answers to.
"Hey, are you okay?" the lanky brunette asked, placing her hand onto Emma's arm and bringing her attention away from Kathryn.
At the sudden contact a male voice boomed in Emma's mind: 'so you're a liar and a dyke.'
Emma's eyes widened as Ruby's grip on her arm brought back memories of the last person who had physically touched her and she recoiled away from the blonde and brunette who were obviously trying to shield her from the other people in the hallway but were only succeeding in making her feel penned in.
She tried to open her mouth to say something in reply but she closed it when it occurred to her that there were tears falling down her face without permission. The completely silent hallway told her that people were now definitely staring at her with all of their attention. The thought that she was supposed to be meeting Regina at her locker offered the perfect means of escape, all she had to do was turn the corner and she would escape the stares of sympathy and intrigue.
It was for this reason that she dashed away from Ruby and Kathryn as quickly as she possibly could and practically stumbled around the corner.
She was vaguely aware that Ruby was following behind her (probably to make sure that she was okay) but she couldn't find it within herself to focus on anything else in that moment other than getting away.
She swallowed hard against her heavy breaths as she turned the corner but she stumbled when a new sight came into her slightly blurred vision.
This hallway was just as packed as the other one and people here was slowly beginning to look at her as well. Emma breathed deeply as she looked around to see the exact locker that she was supposed to be looking for, but her heart dropped when she did not see the brunette she had been hoping for.
The teenage boy leant against his best friend's locker quickly unhitched himself and his expression changed from one of exasperation to one of concern when he noticed the blonde he had been asked to meet.
Killian crossed he hallway in as few steps as possible until he was standing in front of Emma, though not quite as close as Kathryn and Ruby had been just moments ago.
The blonde looked to be in complete panic mode and he looked over her shoulder to see Ruby and Kathryn. He instantly knew that the presence of the blonde couldn't possibly be helpful after the stunt that she had pulled at the mall and she shook his head to tell them to leave this to him.
When he was sure that they were retreating, he looked around the hallway for the options at his disposal. He noticed that the blonde's breathing was only getting heavier the more that she looked at all of the people who were staring right back at her and he knew exactly what he needed to do.
He grabbed her arm as gently as possible and led her towards the nearest vacant classroom.
Once he had led her over to a seat, he rushed back over to close the door and pull the shade down over the little window.
When Killian was satisfied that no one would be looking in to see what was going on, he went back over to Emma, once again ensuring that he didn't get too close to her.
"Breathe, Swan," he whispered softly and smiled when he noticed that she was already beginning to calm down even if she was gripping the edge of the desk for dear life.
He reached into his pocket to pull out his phone so that he could tell Regina to get here right now.