A/N - I'm Alive! got most of my revision of Fifth year completed and life seems to be settling down, so i'm hoping to get back into fairly regular publishing schedule, probably biweekly. Thanks again to my Beta's and enjoy the new chapter!

44 Professor Problems

It only took a week after the trial for Harry and Hermione to get fed up with the stuffy house at Grimmauld place. It wasn't really one thing, but many. Ron was still an issue, and neither really felt comfortable around him. Ginny was a shadow. She had apologized and stayed away from them, but every time they saw her she'd get a haunted look and fear would fill her eyes. Sirius was still recovering and fighting with Molly to retain control of his own house.

Then there were the Order members. It seemed that while they could hate Dumbledore, the oaths they took when joining made it extremely hard to remove him or deny him the leadership of the group. They could quit, but the secrecy oaths still applied and there weren't any others fighting the rising dark. The best they could do is share as much as they could with the pair and apologize. Tonks told them she wasn't a full member, but was staying as Amelia's eyes and ears. Different members came and went constantly, and every one seemed guilty whenever they encountered the couple. So they left.

It was actually kind of funny in the end. Sirius and Remus thought it was a great prank. The evening they decided to leave, they merely said goodbye instead of goodnight, mentioned going home, and left the kitchen. They then shifted into Shadow and Midnight, and shadow jumped to the Grangers' back yard. It wasn't until after noon the next day before those that didn't know they'd left realized they hadn't been seen that day. A search was ordered by Molly, sending every one of her brood off in search of Harry. Sirius was finally asked just before dinner, to which he simply laughed.

"He went home," Sirius chuckled. "He told you last night."

"This is his home," Molly protested. "He belongs with his family."

"He does, and he is home," Sirius' voice hardened. "He and Hermione are safe, loved, and very happy. Do not contest this."

Of course Molly complained long and loud, but no more was done.

The Grangers did get a visit a few days later, however, and it was not a social call.

"Professor McGonagall, Madam Bones," Hermione smiled as she answered the door. "It's so wonderful to see you, come in."

"Thank you Mrs Potter," the Scotswoman nodded briskly. "Unfortunately I have some disturbing news."

"What's going on?" Harry asked as Hermione and the two witches joined the rest of the family in the living room.

"Two things," Minerva sighed. "The first is that Professor Dumbledore has overridden my choices for the Gryffindor prefects. I had chosen the two of you, but he changed it to two others that I do not agree with."

"Who?" Harry asked. "Neville and Faye?"

"No," McGonagall's voice was hard. "Nor was Miss Patil, Mr Finnigan, or Mr Thomas chosen."

"But that leaves…" Hermione started before trailing off. "He wouldn't."

"He did, the new fifth year Gryffindor prefects will be Mr Weasley and Miss Brown, by decree of Headmaster Dumbledore."

"I suppose I can understand not giving us the badges, since we are married and not really available like a prefect actually in the dorms would be," Hermione said in consideration. "But any of the others would be better than those two. Lavender is bad enough since she has no interest other than fashion and gossip, but Ron barely passes classes and will avoid his responsibilities as much as possible."

"Somehow, I'm not even surprised," Harry sighed. "I assume you will be watching them closely?"

"Please don't presume to tell me how to do my job, Mr Potter," Minerva huffed with just a hint of a smile. "And as bad as that is, it's the lesser of our concerns."

"What could be worse?"

"Hogwarts is under assault," Minerva said bluntly. "The Headmaster has failed to find a suitable Defense instructor and the Minister has stepped in and assigned one."

"By your tone, I'm guessing we won't like the person he's chosen?"

"The Minister's choice for the critical role of Defense Against the Dark Arts professor," Amelia said with a disgusted tone, "is Senior Under Secretary to the Minister Delores Umbridge."

The shocked silence that followed was only broken by Harry's muttered "Well shit" and not even Hermione tried to correct him.

"While I don't agree with the language Mr Potter," Minerva grinned wryly. "I can't fault the sentiment."

"So basically the Minister is trying to silence Harry and Dumbledore?" Hermione asked. "Another leg of their smear campaign then?"

"Possibly, maybe even probably," Minerva agreed. "But even worse in a way is that she is woefully underqualified, and her chosen text is an insult."

"Can you explain that?" Anne asked cautiously.

"She only got an A on her Defense OWL, only three NEWTs, none of which were Defense, and has no Mastery," Minerva was fuming. "Her chosen text has no application or even actual casting components, just the theory. Now I can understand it as a supplemental book, but not as the course book."

"So you don't think she intends to teach at all?" Harry enquired.

"I don't think she's capable of teaching, to be honest," McGonagall sighed. "And I fear for those taking their OWLs and NEWTs this year as well. Defense has never been a strong subject given it's, uh, irregular teaching."

"You mean this supposed curse and the fact no one ever teaches it more than a year?"

"Well, yes," Minerva sighed. "I can only hope that whatever it is that causes that effect takes her out earlier rather than the traditional end of the year. But that isn't the worst part, the worst part is the lack of an actual Defense class."

"Can't students self study?"

"Hermione, love," Harry was obviously tiptoeing as he spoke. "Think about most of our classmates. How many do you think will even consider it, much less actually do it?"

"They must know how important their education is."

"I'm sure they do, but it's like we've said before," Harry spoke softly. "Most magicals are inherently lazy." He turned to McGonagall. "Do you have any ideas?"

"I do have one, but it carries a lot of unknowns and some risks," Minerva admitted, then blushed a little. "You two."

"Us?"

"Yes, you," she confirmed. "Were you aware that a Defense Mastery doesn't absolutely require a NEWT to obtain? There are exceptions. All of the masteries have them, but for this discussion, Defense has some very interesting loopholes."

"Like what?" Harry was leery. He trusted Professor McGonagall, but this sounded fishy.

"Well, the defeat of a class 5X creature for one," Minerva said matter of factly, looking at Harry. "Or the engagement and defeat of multiple dark wizards. I believe Auror Tonks called it the Certified Badass clause."

"That sounds like her," Harry confirmed, then paused and looked at his wife. "What is the classification of a dragon? Or a basilisk?"

"A dragon is a 4X or 5X creature, depending on the type," Hermione recited from memory. "Most are 4X, but a Horntail classifies as 5X. As for a basilisk, it's one of a very few class 6X creatures."

"What does that mean?" Anne asked, concern filling her voice.

"Creatures are classified as one through six X depending on how dangerous they are," Amelia explained. "Because they are so different, it's based on how deadly they are. A 1X creature is fairly benign, like say a kneazle. 2X is more mischievous than deadly, but is still a danger. This includes things like redcaps and hinkypunks. 3X are rather more dangerous, 4X are deadly, and 5X are the deadliest creatures known to wizards."

"And 6X?" George asked.

"Wizard killers," Harry said softly. "Creatures that are death to anyone who encounters them. Nandus, basilisks, gorgons, creatures that won't just kill you, but will hunt you to do it."

"Precisely Mr Potter," Minerva agreed. "And that is why we are here."

"I took the liberty of submitting the first task of the Triwizard to a panel of Defense masters, as well as the story of your defeat of the basilisk. I am told that they are hesitant to take that at face value, and question the lack of death in the dragon encounter. I understand it's partially due to your age."

"Or Fudge's influence," muttered Harry.

"No," Bones denied. "It's your age. These individuals would rather mount Fudge's head on a spike than let him tell them what to do. It has to do with them signing the Mastery of a fifteen year old."

"Ok, I can see that," Harry admitted. "So what is the solution? And why?"

"Well, a possible solution would be to submit your memory of the battle in the cemetery," Amelia explained. "The one with the basilisk as well."

"As for why," Minerva paused. "I have a request for you. I would like you two to consider tutoring some students. Outside of class and off the record, since I'm sure Umbridge will block anything official, but I especially want to help the OWLs and NEWTs students."

"That's a lot of students to help," Hermione pointed out. "Plus we'd have to do independent study to grasp the additional material."

"Mr. Potter, do you think you can pass any OWLs right now?" Minerva asked. "Even with an Acceptable?"

"I…" Harry paused, slightly confused by the question. "I don't know, maybe? With some studying, maybe History of Magic since that class is mostly self study anyway. With the extra lessons from you and Professor Flitwick, I'd have a shot at Charms or Transfiguration, but I don't think I could pass the written portions."

"Miss Potter?" Minerva turned to the young witch. "Do you feel the same?"

"Yes professor," she confirmed. "The practical parts we could do, it's the written parts that we'd struggle with."

"We have two weeks before the start of term, do you two think you could be prepared to take tests in those subjects in a week?"

"It would be very hard, What are you thinking, professor?"

"If you can pass your OWLs, I can register you as tutors with the school. You can then officially tutor other students and not be able to be restricted from doing so." McGonagall explained.

"Do we have to have OWLs to be tutors?" Hermione asked, "Is it a preference or a requirement?"

"Preference, so i suppose we can enter you without OWLs." Minerva conceded, "Though I much prefer you having the security of having passed an OWL."

"So do we," Harry agreed, pulling Hermione to his side. "What about a compromise? We register now, as is, and study for and take OWLs at Christmas break. That will also give us time to evaluate the new professor and make appropriate plans."

"I suppose that will work, though it means we have to tread lightly the first half of the year."

"Can't be helped I suppose." Hermione turned towards Madam Bones. "And what may we do for you today Madam Bones?"

"I'm here for the legality and the Mastery issues. As well as provide a secure method of ensuring your tests are safe and valid," Amelia answered solemnly, pausing before continuing. "I'm also concerned about the students. Madam Umbridge, in addition to having questionable qualifications for the job, is well known for her views. She authored the latest anti-werewolf legislation and is closely associated with Mr Malfoy politically."

"You mean she doesn't care so long as she gets to persecute those she deems inferior, be they creatures or those of less than pure blood," Harry growled out. "Is she a Death Eater?"

"Not that I am aware of, but that doesn't mean she isn't a supporter," Amelia admitted.

"So not only do we have utterly useless prefects, but a bigoted teacher who likely won't teach us anything," Hermione grumped. "Why does it fall to us to fix the school every year?"

"I don't know love." Harry pulled her to his side, their tails reaching out for the other and curling around each other. "But we will figure something out, we always do."

"You are no longer alone," McGonagall spoke in support. "I am working on the prefect situation, especially since it is questionable whether either of the younger Weasleys will return."

"Ron and Ginny aren't coming back?"

"It is unclear at this time, but it seems unlikely. Miss Weasley is still trying to purge the dark remnants from her first year, while her brother has… control issues. You didn't see much when you were at Grimmauld because the twins were keeping him separated from you. They both have a long recovery ahead and are just starting down that path," Minerva explained.

"Not to sound bad, but not having to worry about either of them would be a relief." Harry looked at his wife, feeling her agreement.

"That is a perfectly understandable sentiment, Mr Potter," Minerva assured him. "And I will continue to work on correcting the prefect situation. The Headmaster has already given up trying to alter the Ministry's appointment, though I wonder if he really is trying or sees it as a way to get back at you, given your history with Umbridge."

"Could go either way," Madam Bones agreed, then reached into her pocket and pulled out a pair of parchments. "There is one more way I intend to assist you. These are employment contracts for you both. It seems that there is a little-known loophole in the hiring practices that we can exploit to further protect you. As Director of the DMLE, I can audit the classes at Hogwarts associated with Law Enforcement, like Defense. By signing these, you will be auditors of the fifth year Defense curriculum in my employ. This doesn't obligate you in any way, nor does it allow any interference to your duties by anyone in the Ministry, not even the Undersecretary."

"So basically, we gain protection and a legitimate reason to be in her class even if we end up passing the Defense OWL or even get a Mastery?"

"Precisely," Bones confirmed, then smiled as Hermione reached for a pen.

"Where do we sign?"