Disclaimer: All Character's belong to Rooster Teeth Productions

Co-authored with ToxicExotic

A Life's Worth

The day was cold. Even as the sun broke over the distant horizon and filled the sky with orange streaks, Ruby felt no warmth come from them. Instead, they were as cold as the wet rock that she had chosen to lean against beside Beacon's waterfall. A gentle breeze wandered from the ocean below, nipping at exposed skin and making her curl into herself. It had once been an action that had brought her some level of comfort, but now it felt childish. So much so that she gave a small shake of her head and returned her feet to their previous position over the edge of the cliff.

Her thoughts turned to earlier in the day, the flight back to Beacon had been very quiet, and Ruby couldn't find it in herself to blame the others. After all, they were angry at her just as much as they were each other. And why wouldn't they be? While the mission overall had been a success, she'd screwed up big time. She'd let a very dangerous Grimm escape and achieved nothing in return. She hadn't saved anyone, she hadn't stopped anything; in fact, all she had done was put more people at risk.

"It was an impossible situation, Miss Rose."

Ozpin's words rang in her head. Upon returning to Beacon in the dead of night, Glynda had immediately hurried them up to the headmaster's office for a debriefing. Unfortunately, as short as it was and as fair as the man had been, Ruby could tell from his tone that the man regretted sending them on the mission.

"You made a mistake, but you also should not denigrate yourself for wishing to save a life."

But how could she not? Saber had warned her, even shown her evidence of what he was saying, yet she had still ignored him. Weiss was right. With no knowledge of what she was fighting, she'd thought she knew better. But she hadn't.

"They died because of her failure to act…"

Qrow's words joined Ozpin's. When he'd first berated her about holding back, she thought he had merely been talking about combat. She'd been so sure that he just wanted her to hone her skills, to stop holding back while fighting people, but with hindsight she knew that it was only part of the lesson. He wanted her to be ready to do what needed to be done when the moments came. It was a lesson she had failed to heed, and just like her mom…

"My mistake will lead to people dying." She'd been looking at her knees as she said it, too ashamed to look up and meet her headmaster's friendly green eyes.

"Most likely." Ozpin's soothing voice agreed. "But I assure you, Miss Rose, it is not a mistake you are alone in making.

"But I shouldn't have made it."

"A common sentiment towards any mistake, but a misguided one."

The man stood up and walked over to the window, the gentle clicking of his cane on the glass floor reverberating around the quiet office.

"Humanity has achieved a great many things during their time on this planet, Miss Rose, but never will we achieve anything greater than a simple mistake. It is mistakes that tell us what we did wrong, and show us what to avoid in order to better ourselves. Without mistakes, we could not learn; and if we cannot learn, we cannot grow."

He turned away from the cracked silver moon and surveyed her with remorseful eyes.

"Your mistake on this mission was… unfortunate, as was mine in approving it, and its cost is not something to be taken lightly; but I believe that instead of dwelling on what should not have happened in an event that we no longer change, it would instead serve us better to leave this room thinking on how we can avoid such a thing in the future. Don't you?"

Ruby knew he was right. She knew that she couldn't change the past, and that her efforts would be better spent working out how to prevent that past from being her future; but she didn't even know how to start. That desire to protect life at all cost was innate to her. It always had been, and even as she sat listening to the roar of the waterfall with full knowledge of the consequences of her actions, she still couldn't imagine any scenario in which she would step aside and allow Saber to do what he intended.

The taking of a life was wrong… but what other choice had there been? Only one. The one she had chosen, and she would hardly call that a better outcome. Take one life or condemn a hundred others. Both options were wrong.

Letting out a deep sigh, Ruby leaned her head back against the rock and looked up at the sky. When she had first started training for Beacon, never had she thought that such a choice would be presented to her. She just wanted to kill Grimm… not people.

"Ruby?"

She jumped slightly as her girlfriend's voice interrupted her thoughts and quickly turned her head to look at her. The waterfall had masked her approach, but she stood only a few feet away with her hands twisting together in her lap. Her amber eyes were dull even as the sunlight glinted off of them, and her ears were flat against her head.

"Hi…" She greeted the girl awkwardly, knowing that it had been her actions that led Blake to feeling as she did.

"Can I join you?"

As much as Ruby wanted to be alone, she could see that Blake didn't, so gave a small nod of her head and scooted aside, wincing slightly as pain ripped through her arms. With a grateful smile, Blake covered the small distance and sat down beside her. Silence filled the small amount of space between them as they both sat there and watched lights begin to flicker on in the distance as the city began to awake.

"How did you find me?" She asked grumpily.

"Kobalt said he saw you headed this way."

Ruby didn't even remember seeing him, though she also didn't remember what had made her choose to sit near the waterfall. "I just wanted some time alone to think."

"I get that." Blake hummed sadly. "These past twenty-four hours have been… pretty shit."

Glancing across at her girlfriend, she saw the girl looking down at her hand and felt a pulse of shame run through her as she remembered what the girl had been forced to do in order to keep Petilly safe. She remembered the look of regret in the woman's eyes, and the way Weiss had forced to pry the weapon from Blake's hands. Once again, her head hung low.

"I'm sorry." She mumbled.

To her surprise, she felt fingers glide over her hand and link with hers; the meeting of flesh pushing away the chill that had settled across her skin.

"I'm not angry with you, Ruby."

"You're not?"

Blake shook her head and shrugged. "I don't exactly have the right to be angry with someone for making a bad call. Besides, the reason you did it was… well it was exactly why I l- why I like you. You held out hope that you could save someone."

"I was stupid." She grumbled, not ready to accept the consolation.

Blake didn't reply right away, but shuffled closer until their shoulders bumped together.

"Maybe a little…" Blake admitted. "But you wanted to save someone, you can't beat yourself up about that."

"That's what Professor Ozpin said." She sighed, idly picking up a stone from the ground and throwing it off of the ledge.

"Well then, I agree with whatever he said." The girl nodded, her ribbon twitching slightly as some people walked by. Ruby hated seeing her wear it again, especially after finding out what it meant. "How did the meeting go anyway?"

Ruby gave a small shrug. "Fine. He mostly just wanted to go over Saber's mission report."

"Oh…" Blake replied uncertainty. "I'm guessing he wasn't happy with our performance?"

"He actually said we did well… mostly."

She saw Blake's eyes widen out of the corner of her eye, and didn't blame her. When Ozpin had told her that Saber had marked both their combat skill and community engagement as exceptional, she'd been a little taken aback herself. She was sure after what had happened he would be writing a strongly worded report about how they shouldn't be allowed at the school. However, to her surprise, he had only noted that they should be barred from missions until their second year.

"My mom probably calmed him down a little." Blake theorised. "Anything else."

Ruby shook her head. "He said we can have the rest of the week off, if we want. To recover."

"Right…" A sudden tension entered the Faunus' voice, and Ruby immediately knew why. "You and Weiss did take a pretty big hit."

For a few moments, silence fell over them. Sat there listening to the sound of the water rushing over the edge of the cliff, she glanced to the side and Blake's ears were once again flattened against her head. Just like with Yang, Ruby knew the girl was not completely on board with the fact that she was willing to sacrifice herself for others, so couldn't imagine what her decision to do during the horde's attack had felt like.

Unfortunately, just like with Yang, Ruby knew she couldn't apologise. It would be insincere, and almost cruel to give Blake hope that it wouldn't happen again, because Ruby knew it probably would. Even still, the idea that she might one day hurt the people she loved still weighed heavily on her.

"I'm sorry I almost didn't make it to fifty."

Blake's hand tightened on hers, and she heard Blake exhale loud and felt the girl's head drop onto her shoulder.

"I knew I was asking for a lot when I said that." The girl mumbled.

"So you're not upset with me?"

"I am." Ruby felt what little hope had been growing in her chest immediately wither. "Though I'm pretty sure there's nothing I can do to change your mind on that, right?"

Ruby shook her head. Hearing the sadness in her girlfriend's voice, she knew she had to tell her the truth too.

"I don't want to die…" Just like she had with Yang, she needed to make that clear. "But I can't… I can't promise you'll have a future with me. I'm not the kind of person who can just let a village be destroyed if I can stop it, so I'll understand if you want to end things."

With each second that Blake remained quiet, Ruby felt her nerves gather in her chest. She loved being with Blake, and definitely didn't want to lose her, but it wasn't fair to the faunus for the relationship to continue without that understanding. She needed Blake to understand that one day their time together might come to a sudden end, even if that meant Blake decided to end it before that time came.

"I already know you're not that kind of person, Ruby." Blake said quietly after a few minutes. "I knew that when we started dating, and I'm not going to end what we have now. I just don't want you to sacrifice yourself for a village you can't save; or one that can hold out without it."

"But what if I can save just someon-"

"If the only way you can save someone is by sacrificing yourself, then it's unlikely that you'll have bought them more than a few minutes." Blake cut her off with a shake of her head. "And a few minutes isn't worth anyone's life."

Ruby couldn't argue against that. Even with the massive explosion from the Dust gem, Securay had still spent the entire night being swarmed by Grimm. Though she had no doubt bought it some time, she had done very little in terms of actually stemming the tide. The villagers had still spent the night fighting, more people had still died, and if that was the case for a large, well-fortified village, then what would happen to a smaller one?

"It's not a bad thing to be willing to give your life for something." Blake said, lifting her head off of her shoulder and turning to face her. "But it's not a good thing to give your life for nothing."

"I know that." She caught her girlfriend's eye. "If there's another option then I'll do it, but if there isn't…"

"I know." Blake said with an understanding nod. "Just make sure you remember there are almost always other options."

But what were those options? What options did they have to hold off the Grimm without the Dust crystal? The defenses had already been destroyed or were proving ineffective, and they had found themselves surrounded and backed into a corner. Although, as many as she had killed with the explosion, no doubt twice as many had arrived over the course of the night. And the village had handled them; even without their turrets and preoccupied with handling the fires, they'd handled them.

Did I really need to do that? She thought she had at the time, but in hindsight, she wasn't so certain. Maybe there had been another way, a safer way, that she hadn't thought of. Maybe with more time at Beacon she'd have been able to think of one.

"I promise." Ruby nodded.

Blake's eyes remained locked on hers for a few seconds, but eventually the faunus gave a small nod and the corners of her lips moved to form a slight smile. It wasn't much, but the happiness she could feel behind it was enough to feel a sliver of warmth creep up her chest. Leaning back into the girl and placing her head on Blake's shoulder, she finally grasped the woman's fingers a little tighter and closed her eyes.

"I'm sorry I worried you."

"You always worry me." Blake said, a little bit of humor finally entering her voice. "But it's fine. Like I said, your desire to help people is something I really like about you."

Ruby nodded and scooted closer to the girl and let out a small little sigh. As happy as she was to have Blake understand and comfort her, she still felt guilty about everything she'd put the girl through and made her do. The sadness and regret she had seen in the faunus' eye after letting Petilly go still burned in her mind, and unfortunately, unlike with Prince, that mistake had not only been due to not having enough knowledge, but because she had been unwilling to learn it. She didn't think she had needed to.

But after what had happened, she knew that was wrong. If she was going to lead her team in future missions, then she needed to understand them. She needed to make sure that she wouldn't be putting them into situations that caused them to break down due to past trauma.

"Blake?"

"Mmm?"

"Can I…" She paused and considered her question. "Would you mind if I read your diaries?"

The girl didn't reply straight away. While Ruby knew that she likely wouldn't mind if she had read them without asking, having said herself that she wasn't hiding them, she knew they still contained some very personal and painful memories for her girlfriend. And with just how those memories affected her girlfriend, she didn't want to read them without permission.

"You promise that you won't think differently of me?"

"I promise." She replied effortlessly, knowing that what she read would only make her admire the woman even more for leaving that life behind. "I just… I don't want to accidentally hurt you again."

Blake's eyes caught hers, and for a moment she thought the girl was going to argue. However, that quickly faded and she shook her head.

"Then read away." There was a slight hint of worry to her voice. "Just don't expect it to be pleasant."

"I know." Ruby gave her a slight smile. "But that's not you anymore."

Feeling Blake give a small, uncertain bob of her head, she clasped the girl's hand tightly and finally let silence fall over them. The past two days had definitely not been good, she might even go so far as to say they were some of the worst; but as she sat there listening to the rushing water and the far-off sound of students beginning their morning workout, she could at least see a light at the end of the tunnel.

Of course, there was still a lot to do to make sure her mistakes were not repeated in the future, but that could at least wait a few hours so that she could give her girlfriend the comfort she needed.

After almost a week spent in the middle of nowhere, Blake found it a little odd to be back at school. Compared to the peaceful sounds of birds chirping and the wind rustling through the trees, the stomping feet and harsh laughter of her fellow students that filled her ears as she walked down the hallways caused a little discomfort. Every one of them sent a twinge of pain through her that made her want to fold her ears against it, even though she couldn't. However, as rough as the noises were on her ears, they were nowhere near as uncomfortable as the eyes she felt on her back.

It wasn't uncommon for the students of Beacon to pay special attention to those who had just returned from missions, and Blake had definitely felt that when news of the Hellk's defeat had spread around school; but there was something different about it. Usually there would be questions, people asking how the mission had gone and what the biggest Grimm they'd killed was, but nobody was asking her anything.

In fact, they seemed to be avoiding her.

Not that Blake really cared. She only really got along with a few of the students at Beacon as it was, but it was definitely a little more awkward than she was used to. Thankfully she wouldn't have to put up with it for long as that post-mission attention rarely lasted more than a day or two, most of which would be spent in her dorm room with her team while they recovered. By the time they reemerged, no doubt everyone would have moved on to something else. Or at least, that was what she thought.

As she walked down the hallway towards her dormitory however, the idea of the attention towards her team quickly vanished. She was halfway towards her dorm and already pulling out her Scroll when she saw two members of Team WCHT, both of which gave her a small glance before avoiding her eye and picking up their pace. Tired of the glances and knowing the two to be gossips, Blake focused her hearing on them to see what was happening.

"... she's a princess."

"She aint a princess, she's a chief's daughter."

Blake froze and spun around to look at them.

"Pretty much the same shi- fuck."

Catching her eye, the two of them immediately fell silent and rushed down the staircase. Before they even disappeared, Blake felt her heart begin to pick up its pace. How did they know? Her parents had yet to even leave their hotel in Vale, and mission details were never general knowledge to students unless those who went on them decided to say what the mission was.

Someone could have read the Menagerie newsletter and figured it out, but she doubted it. The only people who ever read that were faunus, but they would have been able to sense she was a faunus anyway and more than likely understood why she kept it a secret having faced their own troubles due to their race. There was no way one of them had outed her. So how did people know? And how much did they know about her past?

With her mind racing and worry starting to settle in, she hurried over to her dorm room and pressed her Scroll against the lock. Hearing it open, she slipped inside and let out a small breath. It wasn't like she expected the fact that she was a faunus to remain a secret forever, nor did she care what people thought of it, but she had at least wanted to come out on her own terms.

"What's up with you?"

Glancing over her shoulder, she saw Yang sitting on the couch with Coco and Velvet. Compared to when she'd left her in search of Ruby, the lilac eyes seemed to have a little more life in them.

"I just heard Tato and Celosia talking…" She trailed off as she noticed the two upperclassmen exchange a telling look. "And I'm guessing you two know why?"

"A third year's dad works at the mission office." Coco groaned and leaned forward. "Apparently he heard that your parents were attacked and that the chief's daughter gave permission for a first year team to go. Don't need to tell you how quickly that spread the rumors, and once they were out people kinda put it together."

"We tried to deny them," Velvet added with a gentle voice, the brunette cuddling up against the blonde's side. "But they didn't believe us."

Shaking her head and dropping her Scroll on the nearby desk where Weiss was studying, she let out a small, annoyed breath. Why did people never just mind their own business?

"When did they start?"

"About two days ago." The other faunus replied.

"Great." She grumbled. "Just what I needed to come back to."

"Well at least you can get rid of that stupid ribbon now." Weiss remarked, shifting the ice pack that rested on her back.

Knowing it had been well intentioned, and that Weiss tended to be a little more short when in pain, Blake let it slide.

"Besides…" Coco grinned and returned her arm to Yang's shoulders. "People will learn real quick that if they mess with you it'll be a big mistake. Just like with Velvs here."

"I shouldn't need a threat of violence to have people leave me alone." Blake scowled, the irony of that statement not lost on her as she leaned down in front of the team's bookcase to pull out her diaries. "And I can handle myself, thank you."

"Alright…"

Pulling the books out and only counting four of the five, she pushed a few more aside in search of it. Of course the missing one had to be the first of them.

"What're you looki-"

"It's here."

Looking towards the heiress to see her holding out a book, she reached out and took it. Why Weiss had it, she didn't know; but she also didn't feel the need to ask.

"Thanks." Placing the book on top of the pile, she moved over to her girlfriend's bed and placed them on her pillow. "Ruby asked to read them."

"How's she doing?" The blonde huntress asked.

Relaying a little of her conversation with the girl to the team as she climbed back and flopped onto her own bed, she flopped down and rested her back against the wall. As she told them how Ruby was feeling, she watched Yang hand move away from Velvet to run through her hair.

"And you didn't try and talk her out o-"

"Of course I did!" Blake snapped at her. Though she understood that Yang was worried about her sister's well-being, she was getting tired of her acting as if that wasn't a concern they shared. "Just because I didn't lock her in a room, that doesn't mean I don't care."

"You're still mad about that?"

"You acting like I'm a threat and not letting me see my girlfriend after she was injured?" She replied sarcastically. "What do you think?"

"Oh come on." Yang said disbelievingly and sat forward, Coco placing a firm hand on Velvet's shoulder and shaking her head. "You know it wasn't like that. I just wanted to talk to her alone."

"I don't care!" She scowled angrily at her partner. "Fourteen hours I had to wait to see her. You don't get to shut me out like that anymore. Imagine if Velvet was injured and Coco didn't let you see her."

"Yang…" It was rare to see Velvet anything other than happy, but the look she was giving the blonde was definitely one of disappointment. "Blake's right, not letting her see Ruby was unfair."

"I…" Yang looked from Velvet to Coco, the latter simply shaking her head. What little life had been in her eyes faded into a dull shine as she looked down. "I'm sorry. I was just… scared. She almost died…"

"And you're not the only one who wanted to make sure she was okay." Blake grumbled, feeling the anger that had been rising to her chest begin to settle down. "Me and Weiss care about her too."

Yang gave a nod, and a small tear dropped into her lap. It was a rare sight, so rare in fact that Blake was sure that she could count the amount of times she'd seen her partner cry on one hand, and the anger was quickly turned into sympathy.

"I know." Yang mumbled. "Just seeing her like that… I wanted her to be a kid again. I wanted to go back to when I'd hold her if she was sick. To when I could actually do something for her."

"We've already discussed the fact that Ruby will always need you." Weiss interrupted from her desk, her lack of movement to turn and face them likely born out of just how painful it was for her to move in general. "But for the record, I am with Blake on this one, so if you shut us out again…"

She paused as a large glyph appeared in the middle of the room. It spun in place for a second before a Grimm so large that its head scraped along the ceiling burst out. Blake recognised it immediately as a Berserker, and quickly covered her ears as it leaned back and let out a deafening roar that shook the room. As the noise ripped through the room and caused a few loose objects to fall from the desk, Yang gave a small start. Next to hear, Velvet grabbed her ears and pulled them down as Coco merely gave the creature a smirk.

"... I will have Yang-Two here smash whatever you put in our way to splinters." She finished once the roar had subsided.

As Yang blinked up at the quickly fading creature, her shock slowly began to subside. At first, the previous sadness began to enter her eyes, but the soft chuckles from Coco seemed to pull her attention away. It was another rarity, but a joyful enough sound that Yang's lips started to form into a shy smile.

"Got it. It won't happen again."

"Good." Blake muttered.

With a satisfied sigh at the fact a full blown argument hadn't been needed to make the blonde see reason as it had last time, Blake reached up and pulled her ribbon off to massage her ears. It would be a lie to say that the feeling of the silky material sliding from them wasn't pleasing, especially having spent a whole week without it. Maybe Weiss was right. With everyone already knowing, there was no real reason to wear it anymore. No longer did she have to hide who she was.

Unfortunately, even as she entertained the thought of leaving her dorm room and attending class with her ears displayed proudly, a slight bit of discomfort welled up in her chest at the attention it would bring to her.

Maybe tomorrow, she reasoned internally.

Raalm's Notes

Hello all. So a more solemn chapter this time around as we draw closer to the end of this story. We mostly wanted to just address how the characters feel about things they have done lately, especially between Blake/Ruby and Blake/Yang, and have a few much needed conversations.

Anyway, that's all the notes from me today. Hopefully you enjoyed it :)

Chapter 65 - Truths will be up on the 15th :)