LITTLE MOTHER
Growing Up With Companions
Chapter 10: Changes in the Clan
That night Tessal found it hard to fall asleep. Obäsan had given her the same broth for Reii that the rest of them had eaten for dinner, only they'd had some of the meat. Reii wouldn't be able to deal with that.
The meat broth seemed to be helping him sleep, but Tessal was worried that it was too much for Reii. He wasn't used to the harsher foods the rest of them ate. Still, to live, he was going to have to get used to it. There wasn't anything else to do.
As she dozed and worried, Tessal felt something slightly familiar. It was a little tickle, a very gentle invitation. She would have said it was Kishi-Mujin, but it had mature overtones to the taste that felt more like Obäsan, as if it was Kishi-Mujin's oldest sister, or a larger version of her.
That made Tessal very curious. She hadn't seen Kishi-Mujin since asking for the help, but she hadn't been seeing much of her of late anyway. Tessal had been distracted by her focus on taking care of Reii. She'd tried to have Kishi-Mujin play with Reii and her, but Reii couldn't see her. That was sad. She rather thought Reii would have fun trying to reach for her and would be captivated by her sparkles.
The tug pulled on Tessal again. She rose from her bed, tucking the blankets tightly around Reii, doubling them so he would stay warm and quietly asleep.
She slipped out through a small opening of her sliding wall, closing it behind her. She'd learned the strength to do that now, having lots of practice. She walked through the wall panel opening right by her door, but then she turned to go down past her room's wall and out the close end of the long hall, since the tug was taking her that way anyway.
She closed the wall panel as quietly as she could, then hopped down off the porch. It was dark but as she passed the most familiar places a faint light lit her path, leading her on. It wasn't quite Kishi-Mujin's sparkle, like the feel wasn't quite what Tessal was used to.
When her feet were set on the narrow pathway that led to the shrine, Tessal slowed down, then stopped, not sure. When they'd first come from the port city, Sensei had gone there the first night, she knew. She also knew that after that for about six weeks, every so often one of the boys would come to breakfast walking down that path.
They'd all been changed after those times. Sometimes not for long, as if they'd just needed a few days to ponder on what had happened in that place. For a few, they'd changed inside in ways that were hard to pin down, but were somehow significant.
Josey had been like that. He'd been one of the early boys to come walking back from the shrine. He'd been both more relaxed and more sober. He'd known how to handle his visions a lot better after that. That had been good. He'd been a lot more serious and mature, as if he'd become an adult overnight, instead of a young man still trying to find his way.
Yasuke had been like that, too, and he'd been a lot younger. That change to almost adult had been very dramatic for a while. Somehow, when they'd both turned into foxtails, it had sort of underlined those changes. There were things they'd learned about what they'd been that had deepened how they felt to the rest of them.
Tessal wasn't sure she was ready for that kind of experience. She was still barely seven, after all, still the youngest other than Reii. She bit her lip and looked back towards the main house. She probably couldn't afford to stay away all night, like they had. Reii usually woke up at least once, and sometimes twice still at night.
A light caress came on her cheek and a warmth around her shoulders, as if someone had come to put their arm around her and give her a kiss on her cheek. It didn't feel threatening, nor really like it was evil tempting her. Obäsan didn't let demons into the woods.
Her worry for Reii was tugged on, but not enough to make her mad that it was being used to get her to move. It was more like she was being told that her answer from Kishi-Mujin was ahead, in the shrine.
Tessal frowned, then firmed up and took a deep breath. "I want to help find an answer to feeding Reii, but I don't want to change in big ways yet. I'm not very big."
She felt a soft smile and understanding. That relieved her. "Okay, then I guess I'll come, but if Reii wakes everyone up, I'll be in trouble." There was a pause, then it was as if this being had bowed to her, to say I understand.
"Okay," Tessal said one more time, for courage. She turned back towards the shrine and walked that way, still feeling a bit trepidatious and wary. She kept her wish for Reii to stay alive again in the front of her to be her beacon of courage to take the rest of the walk.
The shrine wasn't lit very well by the small light, but it looked like one of the small sleeping houses of the boys. Tessal clambered up on the porch and pulled the wall section back enough to peek in.
Inside was an open room, just like the sleeping houses, too. At the back there seemed to be a statue of stone, but the little light she was following arrived in the space before it. Instead of lighting the statue up, it grew up and down until inside that light there was a woman.
Tessal swallowed, slipped into the shrine, and slid the door closed to keep some of the cold of the spring night air out. She walked slowly up until she could really see the woman without being grabbed by her, all of her city instincts rising to the fore.
The woman was tall and willowy, with long back hair pulled back in a ponytail. She was wearing a blue robe with long square sleeves. It had red embroidery on it in a rather random pattern. It looked like there might be another robe of the same kind under it in red, and maybe another blue one under that.
The woman smiled at Tessal. There was something in how she looked that tickled at the back of Tessal's brain, as if she might be remembering one of her attacks, but not. She tilted her head quizzically. "Are you Kishi-Mujin's older sister?" she asked.
The woman smiled even bigger, and Tessal could feel she was happy to be considered such a thing, although that wasn't an answer as to if it was so. They had to be related, though, for the woman to only answer with emotions.
The woman motioned to the floor. Tessal knelt down and put her open hands on her knees, then looked back up at the woman. The space around them darkened, although she stayed lit up. Then a picture of Tessal asking Kishi-Mujin for help was to Tessal's right. She watched herself ask the question again.
Tessal blinked, then nodded. "I did ask. We do need to do something to help. I'm sorry I let our miracle to keep him alive die. I really didn't mean to." She felt sad again.
The feel of the woman gently tickled that feeling of Tessal's, trying to get her to let it go and ...give? it to her. When she looked curiously at the woman, she was given a feeling of compassion and comfort. Tessal sighed and relented, giving that sorrow up.
She looked down at the floor she couldn't see in front of her. "I know. We have to move forward. What's done is done, but I still have to do my part to find an answer."
She looked back up into the compassionate face above her. "I want to talk to Sensei, to know if he thinks he can get a milk animal to bring back with him. I need to do that before they leave the village. If he can't, then I can be thinking of other answers."
The woman gave her the equivalent of a "yes" mixed with a very strong, "if". Tessal swallowed. She rather thought that might be the case. There would be a price to pay to get that sort of favor. She really hoped Obäsan and Shikun wouldn't be angry with her. The woman gave back just a little bit of the same fear.
Tessal's eyes went wide. "You're afraid of them, too?"
The woman nodded very firmly and her emotions went very small. Tessal giggled. "Yes. Shhh, so they don't hear." She slumped. "Except they'll find out anyway and then we will be in trouble."
The woman paused again, then sent a very gentle feeling of peace. It seemed to be sort of a promise. Tessal puzzled on that, then said, "I guess if you're afraid of them, too, to get into trouble, if you've called me here anyway then you're going to do your best to not get us into trouble." She got a promise nod to that and relaxed.
"Okay. What price do you want me to pay?" She looked up into the woman's eyes fearlessly.
She was seeing another scene, but this one was from inside her. It came on gently, opening into a room longer than this one, but also obviously a shrine. Her own hands came into her vision.
Like the woman Tessal was with, she was wearing a blue kimono, only with less red embroidery on it. Just at the cuff of the sleeve. In her hands was a little lit taper. She was lighting a long stick that started to smoke lightly once it was lit.
The tapir disappeared and a bowl of blue on the outside and red on the inside appeared in her hands, filled with clear water. She set that down on the same little table the long smoking stick was set on.
Then she bowed to a scroll on the wall in front of her. She was feeling kinship, respect, and gratitude in the memory. As if these two acts had been to give a gift. Then she was moving back to kneel down and close her eyes to reflect in the peace.
The vision ended and the woman in the blue robe was in front of Tessal again. She swallowed and thought about that. "So..., in my life before, I ...served you?" She wasn't so sure she wanted to commit to something like that. "You're ...a goddess?"
The woman bowed gracefully and answered affirmatively. Tessal had to wonder how a goddess would be afraid of Obäsan and Shikun. The goddess shuddered slightly, then showed a picture of a girl child with two stern but kind parents.
"Oh," Tessal said. "They were ...are ...your parents?"
That got a "sort of" feeling, but Tessal thought it was as close as she was going to get. "Like we are their children too, without being their children." That got the firm affirmation. "Yes, well, they are very good at that."
She pondered a bit more. "This shrine ..isn't yours, is it?" The woman shook her head. "I can't build you one."
The woman shook her head again with a "don't want one" sort of feeling. Tessal was relieved, although she tried to keep that feeling private. That had been in her past. It was possible that it wasn't a necessary thing now.
"I'm very small and young," Tessal said again, hesitantly. "If I weren't to do those two things, I don't know what I would do. I'm already very busy taking care of Reii, and trying to help everyone."
While the woman didn't move, Tessal felt as if she'd put her hand on Tessal's head kindly and warmly, and she finally heard words. "Only say you'll grow with me. I'll teach you. Love me again."
Tessal somehow went very sober, as if the adult she had been was suddenly awake and aware. Her hands clasped in front of her in her lap as she went deep to consider that request. A question came from that place, too, so she asked it.
"I'll need to know what you'll eventually require at the end. Like I needed to know what the goal of Shikun and Obäsan were for all of us, I need to know if I can live with that request for the rest of my life, to make that promise now."
It was like the woman was drawing a deep breath in for courage. "Obäsan will scold me most severely if I misstep, because you're a young child still. You'll need to allow me to walk through your memories very carefully, to show you without straying too far either way."
She was feeling worried, fearful of losing Tessal, almost desperate to have her be a friend and companion again, and very nervous to be doing this, as if it was new for her, too. Tessal blinked when she realized the goddess was trying to be truthful so Tessal could believe her, that she only wanted to do her best.
Tessal and the woman she had been settled and she bowed. The room darkened to the dark space again, with the woman missing from it, but the feel of her remained. Slowly, gently, Tessal could feel the presence of the goddess increase until that feeling was in and all around her in the full measure she could contain and comprehend in her current size and frame.
Tessal could tell that the presence of the goddess was much, much larger than that. She was grateful to not be overwhelmed by it at the moment, however. There was a pause as if the goddess was considering what to do next.
Before Tessal's eyes colored lights began to dance. A bright red-pink of joy danced with a yellow happy. A soft pink of the love of a mother for a child slipped in as a ribbon around those two.
They faded and a blue that felt like the peaceful sad of a rainy day waved into view. It was joined by a green of jealousy, but it was kept gentle, like wanting the apple in someone else's hand, but not terrible.
There was a pause in the space as if the goddess was having to restrain the full effect of those emotions, but even that was a lesson. Tessal was being shown the level she could contain in the moment, but the goddess was filled with the full depth and breadth of those emotions.
Relief came from the goddess as Tessal understood that lesson and the emotions were released for a moment so she could consider it on her own. Tessal frowned a bit, then finally said. "Everything is feelings and emotions. Are you a goddess of such things?" That was a "yes". "Then...are you also all the bad things, the bad emotions?"
She received a bit of sorrow, and then as if a faint echo she did feel those as well. Anger, hate, fear, and a few others. They dissipated quickly, though gently.
"Why would I have served such a thing?" she asked, wanting to know.
The sense of the goddess reached out to touch Tessal's heart. It resonated with memories of what it was to be a girl, hiding all the tangle of emotions behind a mask, hiding the tears until she was alone, wishing for companions who understood. Those emotions were softened by a sending of compassion and care, and a sense of, I was-am always there, with you. The warmth of soft love surrounded her to add to that comfort.
In that very moment Tessal was won by the goddess of emotions. Her own desire for a companion who understood had so suddenly been met by the ultimate companion who did understand. Her clothing was suddenly different and her hands rubbed on her knees to try to understand, since she was still in the darkness of the space the goddess was communicating with her in.
The fabric was smooth and silky, and her hands brushed against wide sleeves. She felt her waist, and felt the firm wide belt that was around the robe of the goddess. She sighed a little, but gave a nod. She would begin to walk the path again. "But let me keep growing up," she admonished and pleaded.
She received again the comforting warm hand on the top of her head, and gentle encouragement. That felt like what Tessal tried to give Reii when she encouraged him to strengthen his arms and legs. She relaxed and looked for the goddess again.
When the goddess was in view again, Tessal asked. "Then, what can we do to talk to Sensei, to let him know my concern and question?"
Moving as gently as she already had been, the goddess disappeared again, this time to wrap around Tessal like the sprite Kishi-Mujin did when it was hiding with her, or going to protect her. Again, the sense was that this time it was an adult or mature Kishi-Mujin, or relation of the sprite.
A picture formed in front of Tessal. Sensei was sleeping on a mat. She couldn't see the space, but she got the sense it might be a barn, which would make sense if he was with the boys working in the fields of the village.
Words came to Tessal, quietly in her ear. "He is sleeping, so he can receive a dream."
Tessal perked up at that. "Like you've been showing me things, we can show him our message?" She got the equivalent of a nod. "He can see memories. Can you show him some of mine?" Tessal asked.
Clips of her memories appeared before them both, strung together. First it was of them trying to get the crying Reii to drink the herb tea, while at the same time Tessal was drinking, then feeling the tea help her stomach hurt less.
The next memory was of the cow and calf dead in the shed and Tessal's horror and dismay. The emotions this time weren't as strong, probably so the goddess didn't get into trouble. That was okay by Tessal.
Then a third memory was when Tessal had asked Mattias to contact Sensei to ask for any milk animal, or if a donkey's milk could be drunk by Reii.
Tessal pondered those three, then nodded. "That would do."
There was a pause, then the goddess tentatively let her know it would likely have to give one more memory. Tessal emoted a question at her, asking which one.
"One of his own, of the past, with the you in it he knew then, and me, so he understands the message was from us, and how we could send it to him," she was answered in words again. "And maybe of right now, so he understands that the us of then is the us of now asking."
Tessal shrank a little. "Will it get me into trouble when he gets back? He'll tell Obäsan and Shikun we came to talk to him, I think."
The goddess paused again, then sadly agreed. She wasn't sure she wanted to do that either. But it was either that or not talk to him at all, Tessal could tell that on her own. If he didn't understand that she really had wanted to talk to him that much, he might not remember the dream as anything useful. With a joint sigh of resignation, they agreed.
Tessal watched as the goddess gave each of the memories to Sensei in the order they'd agreed on. When the memory of his past, which Tessal didn't get to see, was given to him, Sensei shifted uncomfortably in his sleep and a frown came on his face.
When it was time for the last memory, of the two of them in the current time, Tessal again didn't see anything. Then to her utter surprise, Sensei was standing in the space with them looking at her with wide eyes, then at something behind Tessal, as if the warmth that had never left her was actually the arms of the goddess holding her and Sensei was looking at her, too.
"Is it a true vision?" Sensei asked.
"Yes, Sensei," Tessal said humbly. "We're in the shrine right now. It was my error, for not knowing the spring would bring plants to poison the milk and the cow. What can I do to help fix it?" He frowned, unsure.
A vision came in that space of a woman, the sweat of recent birthing on her as she looked helplessly at a newborn next to her. She closed her eyes and breathed no more. A crying man reached down to pick up the shivering, crying child and hold it closely as he knelt down to cry at the side of his dead wife.
Sensei sighed sadly. "Yes, I know him. I'll speak with him. Perhaps he'll be willing to help his son live again, and be glad for the news that we've kept him alive until now." He looked at Tessal soberly, then sighed. "Tell them we'll be done in four to five days and return right away." He bowed to the goddess as Tessal bowed to him, then he was gone.
The him they were watching in the village sighed and rolled in his sleep. That picture went away and the goddess sighed, too. Tessal was very tired and was empty of feelings. Even her worry was all gone.
Very, very gently, the goddess let her know that those emotions had been taken from her as payment for the visions to be given to Sensei. Even still, it hadn't been enough, and some of her own strength had been taken.
Tessal was asleep before she could wonder if she should return to her bed, but she stayed warm as the goddess kept her close company, softly pleased with her and her efforts that night.
-:-:-:-:-
When Tessal opened her eyes, she wouldn't have remembered what she'd done that night, except she didn't recognize where she was. She was on a mat floor, but there was no bed, nor blanket.
She sat up and looked around, then remembered what had happened. Her heart beat very hard. The morning birds were already singing. She'd not returned to take care of Reii. As she was rising to her feet, her panic rising as well, a soft brush of calm came on her soul.
She also felt what she'd felt before: I am with you, and a sense that things were taken care of. Tessal took a deep breath. The goddess had been being very careful, particularly to not anger the master and mistress of the shinobi clan. Surely she would have taken care of that part properly, too. Tessal got back a smile and the presence left her.
That was going to be different. Tessal understood that when the goddess had told her that she had always been with Tessal, she had meant it. Even if Tessal didn't feel her, she was present in some way. It felt both invasive and yet lonely to have her present, then gone. She would have to get used to it, she supposed, now that they had met and Tessal had agreed to serve her.
She double checked what she was wearing, but it was back to her usual clothes. That was good. She didn't want the boys to see her and comment that much. They'd comment enough with her arriving from the shrine.
Tessal slid the exit wall panel open, slipped out, and closed it again. She paused on the porch to bow to the shrine, then turned and jumped down. She wanted to run back to the main house, but she was still a little weary and weak, so instead she just walked. It was peaceful, actually.
She slipped into her place at the breakfast already started and silently began to eat. She did look around and found Reii in Shikun's lap, holding on to his shirt front with one hand and waving the other hand, making it somewhat difficult for Shikun to eat, but he wasn't very concerned.
The food was very desirable that morning, as thin as it was. She ate it rather quickly, focused on getting it into her.
"Korin," Shikun said quietly, "go bless Tessal."
Tessal's head rose quickly. Shikun only looked back mildly as he let Reii play with the fingers on one hand. He'd finished his meal.
Korin arrived behind Tessal and a spell that she didn't know came from his mouth. When it was done, Tessal felt much better. But then her food was unappetizing. She looked at it unhappily.
"And the food," Shikun amended. That was much better when that was done. Tessal went back to eating to put it all inside her stomach. Korin patted Tessal on the head and went back to his place with the other middle-aged boys.
Shikun didn't let anyone leave the room while Tessal ate. When she was done and looked up again, he was again looking her in the eyes. She swallowed and sat up very straight.
"The goddess of emotions called me to the shrine last night," Tessal said and all the heads in the room on her side of it (all the boys, that is) turned to her in surprise. "She taught me that before, I was one who served her. In exchange for agreeing to serve her again, she allowed me to tell Sensei what happened to the cow and calf."
The amazement from the boys was being joined by some level of disbelief. Tessal continued on regardless. "He was only supposed to dream it, but when the goddess gave him the memory of what we'd been before and are now, he walked into the space we were in and talked to us."
That got a raised eyebrow from Shikun and interest from Obäsan. "The goddess showed Sensei who the father of Reii is. He thinks he might be able to get him to help in exchange for knowing his son is still alive and we're caring for him. Sensei also said to let you know that in four or five days they should be done and will come right home."
At the last Shikun was pleased. It was good that she could tell him, then. Tessal paused, then asked a little hesitantly, "Is the reason only Shokin can see Kishi-Mujin because he was also one who served the emotion goddess?"
Shikun raised an eyebrow at Tessal for asking. Obäsan's lips pursed and Tessal tried hard to not shrink into herself. Finally Obäsan said curtly. "That would be it, but you aren't to tell him. If he needs to serve her again, he will learn it then. It can be his turn to rest this time, if not."
Tessal promised with a nod and pursed her lips as well, to promise to not tell. The others also gave nods that they wouldn't tell.
Tessal thought it helped them all to know why they couldn't see the sprite. Some seemed rather relived to not be able to see it after that. They also didn't tease her so meanly any more about seeing something they couldn't, although the teasing didn't necessarily stop altogether.
-:-:-:-:-
Mattias was the one to tell everyone that Sensei and the boys with him had returned to the woods. "They stand at the entrance and ask that we go and help them carry things to the house."
That was different and a little disconcerting. Everyone in the woods had hoped they'd be bringing at least one wagon home to keep, and one donkey to pull it. They all went, curious what they would find.
They found a villager sitting on the small sturdy horse that was pulling the one wagon that had been brought. It was obvious that wagon would be going back. The man didn't seem to be too afraid to be sitting outside the shinobi wood; however, it suddenly made it a difficult thing for the rest of them to be seen while in the wood. They weren't supposed to look like humans if they were in the wood.
Su Dou used the codes of the clan to send Kadek, Forjal, Adi, Randi, and Tadesse out of the wood at places they could do so unseen at the first. They ran up to the wagon. "We'll unload. You carry into the wood," they said to their older brothers. "The others will meet you."
That received approval and the older "foxtail" brothers carried baskets and bags into the wood to a place where the others could pick them up without being seen by the man on the horse. Tessal danced from one foot to the other, worried. She couldn't see a cow, nor even a goat.
One wagon's worth of food wouldn't last them very long either. All of the boys were looking worried about that. At the end of unloading two boys lifted an odd heavy crock, nearly as tall as Tessal, down from the wagon. It was sealed with a lid, seemed to be made of metal, and had two handles on it that each boy held onto. Two foxtail brothers were required to lift it and carry it into the woods, too.
All of the boys thanked the villager and disappeared into the wood. Su Dou - because the villagers already knew what he looked like as a human - had stayed with the villager politely while the other boys had worked, and he stayed even after the last of the other boys had left. Sensei had already been gone by the time Tessal had reached the edge of the wood. She was called to and went to carry the load she could carry.
She wanted to hurry back, to hear what Sensei had to say, but her hungry tummy reminded her to go slow enough to be careful with the food in her arms. She went with a frown on her face, following along behind the crock that Josey and Arin held between them, while also carrying bags over the shoulders of their other arms. The crock was heavy enough they had to put it down and rest a few times on the way. Tessal stayed with them until she could see the houses, then she did run ahead, not able to stand it anymore.
She was surprised to be called back. "You'll be wanting to see this," they said to her, indicating the crock. She blinked at them, then gave a nod, waited for them to catch up a little, and walked in front of them until they reached the main house.
Tessal passed her basket up to Gregor, who was standing on the porch waiting to take the food into the kitchen, then got out of the way. Korin and Kadek took the bags of food from Josey and Arin. Freed from that burden they motioned to Tessal to come closer to the crock and Arin took the stopper out.
Tessal looked in to see white liquid. "No one had an animal to give, but they gave us the milk. It will be only for Reii, so it can last long enough for an animal to be bought and brought back. The crock has a perpetual cold spell on it, to keep the milk fresh."
Tessal suddenly had tears in her eyes. Arin stoppered it back up and the two boys lifted the crock to set it up on the porch. They climbed up and carried it into the kitchen to set it in the far inner corner where it would be most out of the way, and where Tessal could get to it in the middle of the night easily from her own room.
"Thank you," she said to them, swallowing to get the words out. They gave her smiles and pats on the top of her head and a shoulder as they walked past her again. Then they were calling for Cahyo to get the foxtail illusions taken off of them.
Tessal had been carrying Reii on her back for the last several days. He was growing and his feet and legs now got in the way when she had to bend over, particularly when she was harvesting in the wood. Obäsan had taught Tessal how to put him there while leaning over and then tie the wrap around herself to hold him there. She still wasn't too secure with it, so she went slow enough to not drop him.
Now, she went to the cupboard that had the dishes they used and pulled down Reii's little cup. She opened the stopper on the milk, dipped the cup into it, carefully set the cup down on the floor, and put the stopper back in. Just as carefully, she carried the almost-full cup into the main room where everyone was gathering.
Tessal went to her place, knelt, and set the cup down. Very carefully she untied the blanket holding Reii to her back and let him down. Claus picked Reii and the blanket up and handed him to Tessal. She made sure the blanket wouldn't spill the milk as she wrapped it around Reii. Reii's bright eyes looked at Tessal as he whimpered just a little. He was still hungry, the broths not being enough for him.
Tessal smiled into his eyes. "It's okay, Reii," she said quietly in a soothing tone. "Our brothers brought back milk for you. You can fill your tummy this time."
She settled him in her left arm, holding his arms down tightly so they didn't wave and spill the milk. She picked up the cup and put it to Reii's lips. He didn't want to drink it at first. It had already come to mean something he didn't want.
Tessal spilled a little onto Reii's lips. He got just enough of a taste that in another moment more he was suddenly very interested in what was in the cup. She had to make him slow down, scolding him lightly, just as happy as he was that he could finally have milk again.
"Everyone," Shikun said, "we're glad to have our brothers back safely. Thank you for your hard work." The rest of them thanked them as well. They had done a lot of hard labor and brought back things they were desperate to have.
Sensei placed his open hands on his knees. He was kneeling in his place near Shikun. "We've had to make a different sort of arrangement this time. The villagers don't have the wagons to replace what we purchased from them before. The soldiers took them and any other things from the villagers they wanted: wagons, tools, animals, and of course food.
"They've agreed to repay our labors in the fields by bringing foods and other things they can bring every three weeks. Because Yasuke can be foxtail without illusion, he'll be the face that the villager who brings the food will see in the wood.
"It worked okay to have you slip out today, but the middle age boys should only do that another three times. Then it must be the younger ones who bring the food out of the wagons. We've taught them that the foxtails grow up faster than the humans, even within one year's time." The boys understood and gave nods.
"We don't really want to do it too many times, regardless," Sensei said sternly. "If they send different villagers each time, sometime it could be not a villager, but a spy of the demon king." No one wanted that. "The goal is to have our own things again. So we've agreed to the plan I and the village heads have come up with."
"It's time for boys who've been trained to go out into the world," Shikun said soberly. Breaths were drawn in around the room and even Tessal paused in feeding Reii to look up at the adults in surprise. Reii fussed and she went back to feeding him, but she was listening very closely.
Shikun continued, "We've already been needing to have our own spies where they can warn us ahead of time of things we need to know. We also want to help the villagers save as much of their food as possible when harvest time comes. Thus we will set two lines of listening and learning."
Sensei took his turn. "There are several outlying farms that would be damaged by the soldiers first, and that don't have enough strong backs to see to the fields. We'll send three who are too young for the soldiers to conscript.
"You'll be taken care of by those families and help them with the work. If you hear the soldiers, you'll warn the rest of us immediately." Sensei held up his hand as there were sounds of protest from the younger boys. If the village was two days from the woods, those farms would likely be almost three. It would be very hard to get word to the clan that way.
Shikun said, "The other group will be those of you who I think are ready to graduate and go into the world on your own. We'll send you first in pairs, because we need things other than to have you conscripted just yet." Tessal was relieved to hear that. She wasn't ready for any of her brothers to be that close to danger either.
"The closest village is small. There are towns farther away that have blacksmiths and wainwrights, that also may have more animals that can be purchased. They will also have heard more of what we need to know about the movements of the king."
Shikun sighed. "They also will be more likely to have people in them looking for us, who'll follow you back when you've been able to buy what we need. You'll have to work hard at practicing your lessons to see that you aren't followed. Or assume you are being followed and take them out or confuse them long enough to not be where they think you are so they aren't brought back here, or even to our neighboring village. We need to protect them, too.
"Because all of you will need to know eventually, the way to work as a party of two, to stay safe, is that one of the pair is seen, heard, is friendly, buys what's needed. The other is hidden like you already know how to be hidden in a village or city. In plain sight, with eyes on the front-line person and everyone who is looking at them, to see who should be taken out, or distracted at the right moment.
"The front-line person can choose many disguises when they're solo. A young man preparing a home for a hopeful new bride-to-be. A son come to help a granny take care of her home and land now that the grandfather has passed away. The oldest son of a farmer taken ill.
"It will be hard to hide from conscription that way, but if you use the signals only we know, the one who's the hidden back-line can give the warning that soldiers are coming, so that both of you can slip away before being seen. If you start in the smaller villages for practice as you go, by the time you reach the larger towns with the means to provide what we need to purchase, you should be ready."
Shikun put his hands on his thighs and almost glared at the older boys. "I've already taught you how to survive on the land. You already know how to earn the little coin it takes to purchase food in the villages and towns. I think you already know well enough how to defend the clan's gold from being stolen."
Boys the whole room over swallowed. That was a very large responsibility, for the older boys to be handed what little gold Shikun had. It would be to purchase the things the clan needed, though, and he wouldn't be going.
Shikun turned his head to close his eyes as if he was somewhat pained by his thoughts. "There is the possibility we won't be having some of you return for up to a year." The older boys shifted or stiffened according to their personalities. "Those who have to go the farthest to reach what we need may stay that far out."
He looked back at them, his eyes sharp, his expression firm. "When you purchase and begin to walk back, the next closest pair will buy the wagon and donkey from you. You will turn back to find another village, town, or city to keep listening and learning. Eventually, when we know enough, I may order you to enter the army.
"Those who purchase from them will walk back in a meander to confuse anyone following them that is now following you, buying what we need from those villages until the pairs of brothers closer to us also purchase from you. You will then return to continue visiting the villages and towns at that range. You'll be able to tell us when the soldiers are moving this way again." The older boys were beginning to nod their heads, following the strategy Shikun was telling them.
"If large amounts of the army begin to reach your zone, you will come before them invisibly, not being conscripted by them. The village and we may need your strength. But if you are captured by them, don't fight them. Join them and also become spies for us." Tessal drew in a silent, deep breath. These were plans that were long term and serious. She set the empty cup down and put Reii over her shoulder to pat his back and bounce him up and down very gently to get the air out of his stomach.
"Those of you closest to the village and home will purchase from your brothers those things they've purchased for us and bring them back here. You I will keep and send out as I desire, listening wherever you're sent, but you aren't to be conscripted nor become spies as of yet. There aren't enough ready to graduate. You're the ones in training to become graduates in another year or two." A few of the older boys slumped. They already knew who they were.
"It is particularly important that none of you let the demons know who you are. Hide your magic scent very well, if you must use it. Don't kill any demons, only the men they are in as men." A small rueful smile came on his lips. "Do refuse to let any demons take you over, however. That's simple enough to do just by choosing it. They can't if you don't let them."
"Even the big ones?" Korin blurted out.
Shikun and Obäsan both nodded. "Even the big ones," Shikun said softly. "No demon can affect you if you refuse to give in to their temptations, threats, or torture if it should come to that. Your power of choice always trumps anything they can do."
"Even if they kill you?" Kadek scowled.
"If you died, then they didn't take you over, did they?" Shikun said softly. "If you find your soul captured, you can still refuse. And you can always pray to the Caretaker and she will save your soul from them. If you pray before you're dead, and ask for what you need very specifically, she'll help you get away."
Tessal sat up very straight, like everyone in the room was doing. The atmosphere had changed, and there seemed to be a faint light radiating around Shikun. His soft voice commanded their attention. "Always remember you are the Caretaker's Sons. She loves you most of all of the creations of Theldesia.
"Speak to her regularly, pray for what you need, and she will help you to gain it. Tell her your fears and concerns and she will comfort you. Your power comes from inside of you, but you are ten times more powerful when you remember you are her Sons and call on her."
Shikun's eyes went to all of them. "That is a practice all of you need to begin, so that it becomes natural to you to talk to her, your mother, Hahaue. She is always watching over you, always listening to hear your voice." He was silent as he let them all think about that lesson.
When he spoke again, it was with the tender love he had for them. "You who will be going away, younger and older, will go to the shrine tonight to speak with the Caretaker, so that she can teach you what it is to be her Son in sufficient measure to be safe outside of this wood.
"There are a few of you who are staying who also will visit the shrine with them. Your specific skills as a Son of the Caretaker will be needed so that we can watch over those who have been sent."
Shikun turned to look at Obäsan. Softly she said, "No one is to leave the wood until those who are being sent have left. I've put a special barrier around the wood. It is now in its own space and time. Crossing the boundary will break that barrier. We need the additional time for this final lesson.
"The man who brought the wagon and supplies will be taking you in the wagon back to the village and the farms so that you don't have to walk those two and three days. In his eyes, the time from now until you leave won't have passed at all."
Tessal's stomach clenched and her heart felt something strange. She didn't want any time to pass for a very long time. She didn't want to have her brothers leaving already, even if they were old enough to go out into the world, or were needed in those places.
She held on to Reii more tightly as she worked hard to let that emotion go. The boys were needed in those places. The soldiers would come eventually and they would need to know to help keep enough food for them all this coming winter. It had been hard to starve so much this past one.
She shifted to set Reii down on his back, not wanting to get wet when he wet himself, since that was next on his list of things to do, after which would be sleeping now that his tummy was full. When her hands were free, she bowed over her knees.
Humbly Tessal said, "I am very grateful for the milk from the villagers to keep Reii alive. May I request, please, that if at all possible a cow and calf be purchased? I promise to keep the pen clean of things that are poisonous."
"Why not a goat?" Sensei asked mildly.
Tessal answered, "Because Shikun says a goat will eat anything and not become sick. I won't know if it's eaten something that will make Reii sick until he's sick.
"I would keep the pen free from what poisons I know even with a goat, if that's all that can be purchased, but a grown calf would feed all of us for a very long time if we and the villagers can't grow enough vegetables and grain for all of us this coming winter."
"If it's possible, it would be preferable," Shikun agreed.
"Thank you," Tessal said, relieved, and sat back up. She took Reii's hand in her fingers and held on to him. For his sake she would let her other brothers go, but she needed to hold on to one of them, not really wanting to do it. "If Josey will go, I need him to teach me the poisonous plants first," she thought to add, "unless Sensei knows them."
Sensei and Josey exchanged a look. "After they return from the shrine," Obäsan answered for them. They both gave a nod. Tessal accepted that answer.
Shikun looked at all of the boys fondly, yet solemnly, then opened his mouth to give the orders. "Abeh, you'll take Cahyo as your partner, to be one of the farthest out pairs." More than Tessal was surprised Cahyo was being sent that far out. He was the one who could do the illusions, and he was younger. But he'd also been with Shikun longer than others.
"DongTang, you'll take Tanov to be your partner, as our other pair the farthest out." That was a more expected pairing, although it meant their strongest healer would be gone. Su Dou wouldn't be happy to have his two best helpers gone from the compound.
"Josey and Arin, you'll be one of our middle range pairs. You'll understand why after you've been to the shrine," Shikun's eyes were specifically looking at Arin.
Arin was still generally the most confused of anyone in the clan as to why he was there. It would equally confuse him as to why he would be sent out without more training. He gave a nod to Shikun's look. It was good to keep them paired together, since Arin was so patient with Josey's visions, which might get him into trouble in towns and villages.
"Shokin, you'll go with Su Dou to be the other pair at the midrange," Shikun said. That got a lot of surprise. Not only was Shokin the other strong healer for the clan and from the middle-aged boys, it was unfathomable that Su Dou wouldn't be in the wood to lead and teach the boys.
Shikun only continued on. "Luka and Kadek, you'll be the closest pair that will come and go for me. When the middle range pairs let me know they have things to come to the wood, I'll send you to bring those things back here. If we need a back-up pair, it will be Yasuke and Forjal. None of you four will go to the shrine at this time. You still have more lessons before then.
"I'll now be teaching the middle age boys. Boab will be my assistant. Sensei will continue to teach the youngest, with Claus as his assistant." Slightly more than a third of their number would be gone with that much. Tessal could see why Su Dou would be at the middle range. There would be one adult to contact, to help those who were out of the wood and in the world. She swallowed a dry throat, wondering just who else they could lose.
Sensei said softly, "Tadesse, Adi, and Randi will go with them, to be set at the farms who need them. It will be hard work, but it will be like farming the wood and hunting for food." Those three looked a little green with fear, but they were the next of age of those that were left.
Korin scowled a little, but Tessal knew like they all knew why he'd been left to remain in the wood. Sensei looked at him directly. "Korin, that inability to be humbly obedient to anything other than the voice inside of you is why you'll remain here in lessons for longer."
Korin looked very shocked. Sensei's look went even firmer. "When you've had enough lessons to understand why you must also have instant obedience to the man who has responsibility over you then we'll see if you're ready to walk as a man." Korin finally swallowed and relented sufficiently that Sensei let the pressure off of him.
Obäsan spoke next. "Boab, Mattias, and Claus will also visit the shrine tonight." The three of them swallowed, but sat up straight and nodded.
Tessal looked out of the corner of her eye and counted. That left only the close-in pairings, Korin, herself, Gregor, Samir, and of course Reii not going to the shrine. She raised her hand and was given permission to speak. "Can Korin come sleep with me tonight, so he's not cold tonight?"
Korin blinked at Tessal, but she pretended to ignore him. "You'll miss your brothers the most," Obäsan said knowingly. "It would be okay for tonight." Shikun let her word stand.
-:-:-:-:-
Dinner was a celebration. There was finally good food and enough of it. Their brothers and Sensei were returned safely. It would be the last dinner with all of them for some time. Perhaps ever. Those things made it a happy yet sad event, a time spent with a touch of desperation woven into it.
Brothers just reunited would be gone again, divided into small groups, or alone even in the case of the three youngest that were leaving. The adults didn't scold or interfere when the boys got loud, or rowdy.
Tessal took herself to each of her oldest brothers and made them pay attention to her, and made them promise to not forget her, nor their time in the wood together. They all promised it kindly, and teased her until she was ready to leave them for the middle age brothers.
They made her pause and told her to take good care of Korin and to raise Reii up to be big and strong. She was surprised when they whispered to her that she should also see that Shikun was properly taken care of. "What about Obäsan?" she asked them.
They shook their heads. "He'll miss us too much. If you make him pay attention to you and to Reii he won't be so sad," they told her. She nodded wisely at that. That was true. She and Reii could help distract Shikun from his worries over the sons he'd had to send away to do hard things. She promised it and then went to bug the middle age boys.
Korin gave Tessal an odd look. She only looked back at him for now, and turned to Shokin. "When you need to talk to me, or if you're in trouble, call for Kishi-Mujin. I'll make sure she knows to be listening for you, and to let me know you need help. She'll come help you, too." Shokin didn't understand but he humored her and promised it.
Tessal went and sat next to Kadek to let him tease her and pull her hair until she'd had enough. Then he paused, put his hand on her head, and said, "It'll be okay. We are still family, regardless of where we are. When we see each other again, we will be happy. It will be good to know we're all working together on the same thing, wherever we are." He grinned at her. "Besides, I'll be back and forth. You don't need to miss me so much yet."
Tessal stuck out her tongue at Kadek, but then gave a sober nod and rose to her feet. She went back to her group of the youngest. She wrapped her arms around Tadesse's neck. "Thank you for helping us to grow until now, and for sharing your strength. I know you'll help the farmer's family a lot."
He kindly hugged her back. "It's been good to have you with us. Keep growing stronger. We'll need your sword and back soon enough, too." Tessal promised it with a nod and let him go. He rubbed the top of Reii's head and a hand came out of the blankets to grab a finger. Tadesse had always been kind to Reii, and Reii knew him like he knew Korin and Claus.
Tessal sat between Adi and Randi and teased them both until they relaxed enough to be ready to go to the shrine with the older boys. Before they could rise to their feet, she grabbed at their hands to hold on to them tightly.
Soberly she said, "Even I've been in the shrine. It's okay. They know we're young. It won't be more than you can do. If you get lonely, then talk to Hahaue." Her heart was very full of something she knew from before this time, before this life. "When I was very, very lonely, she was the one who was there for me. She won't leave you alone either."
She swallowed the lump in her throat, trying to keep the tears down. "Work hard, then come home to play again this next winter."
They squeezed her hands and promised it. Then Su Dou, who'd arrived surprisingly at his place for dinner, was leading the thirteen boys to the shrine. Tessal wondered how it would fit all of them, it looked like so many.
The tears began to fall. It was that many backs (nearly) that would be leaving her the next day. It felt very cold and lonely. The look on Korin's face said he finally understood what Obäsan had meant.
He gently took Tessal in his arms to hold her as the other middle age boys invited Gregor and Samir to their cabin that night to sleep so they weren't alone either. It would be very hard for all of them to be left behind. It would be cold in the compound to have the third cabin empty from that time on.