Chapter 1
Pauper
Fluorescent lights, bleak walls, mothball curtains, she couldn't be more out of place among the old, sick and dying-things Dan knew she feared and wanted outlawed.
Hours after the car wreck, the van der Woodsen-Humphreys, locked down in floral walls, gathered in the waiting room for news that Dan wasn't sure he wanted to hear.
-Is everything okay-going to be? He mussed his untamed hair, guttering ever thoughtthat this might just be his fault. Could it though? He brought Chuck and Blair together so didn't fate spurred upon his actions. These just increased his tribulation, pelting back and forth between the little walking space available in the waiting room. He continually clenched his hand signaling any feeling he still had.
-Dan, stop pacing, I might check you in for anxiety.
Stopping, he stared toward the blonde roulette; though not taking his method of pacing, her jitters issued by lip-biting and picking at the vinyl exterior of her seat. Serena patted the seat next to her, a close to fraying smile-he wished he never saw-pleading him to straighten out. He wanted to take off not sit still but obligated to her claim.
He couldn't sit back, letting his weight lean forward by grabbing the sides of the chair. He took notice of the pink floral patterns, the very same flowers Blair adore.
-Serena, I could be the one to blame.
-Dan, don't—
-She wanted happiness and maybe Louis was a better choice.
-You can't think that—
-And I brought Chuck into this, leaving them both fighting for their lives. Dan voiced, only then did he look at Serena.
-Dan, you can't imagine you're at fault. Gossip Girl sent out the text. She's the offender. We're the victims.
Serena adding to her reassuring words leaned over grappling his knee. He couldn't register the touch—numb between his nerves and core. When did the brunette matron become his subconscious cult?
-Just victims, right. Because what good could a blame game do in their situation. I mean, they're strong individuals, Chuck and Blair.
And they waited, reluctant toward time spent and unknown word, Dan left to his undying concern. Death couldn't even kill a feeling.
Xoxo.
He kept to the doorway. He figured his pauper status stood below the other current residents in the room, and honestly, Blair wouldn't resort to his begging.
It was passed midnight and in the ER down the hall, Chuck Bass was fighting for his life. And some unspoken unanimous was made about his condition to remain anonymous to Blair during her recovery, she needed rest, her and the baby.
Blair was still in a sleeping slumber, heavily induced by sedatives, friends surrounded by her bedside. Louis had drawn the closest to Blair on the right leaving Serena the other side while the rest stood off on the side and the foot of the bed. He felt uncomfortably hemmed for her by the walls. Emotionally or physically he felt both.
Even if Chuck didn't make it, Louis would be suitable for her. Classing her Queen B for royalty, the pauper was no need or want. She was settling for easy, a life with Louis would provide her a secure, safe life, her happiness lost behind untold life styles of politics, business and expectations of a princess.
If Louis was her needs then Chuck was the want. He could give her the world of money, power and status and as they slummed to the top-the world in their hands-the view would be rot. Schemes and takedowns shedding any chance of happiness and for once, Dan wished a chance that Blair could love herself.
A cellphone vibrated, with Louis rushing out to take the call. Dan, managing to move out of the way for Louis, caught his bleak misery displayed upon his face.
He's seconding guessing himself, Dan thought.
Louis falling for a girl sketched as an ink drawing, stowaway in a capsule sealed and re-opened last spring. Though this image covered her past entirety, by reality her precious ink marks faded and what lied beneath was a dark corrupted lost girl. Too much baggage he was asking for, too much of false perception on his part and not enough need than a want for her. And he played along to the naïve fairytale, picturing the same unchanged, untouched and unbelievable girl of all the needs for a future princess of Monaco.
It reminded Dan a lot of him and Serena.
A stir in the room broke his thoughts, concerned rising as Blair Waldorf began to wake under the heavy sedatives. The shade of victory on her lips stained. Her eyes blotted by life's triumph. Meanwhile, her eyes collected the faces around the room, scared out of her wit by the surrounding.
-Please…spare me the sobs and tell me I'm going to be alright? Blair forced the words out between slurs and fatigue.
-Blair, you're alive. Serena, saying the words most of us felt, relieved letting go a shaky laugh.
Blair moved her contact from the spell-bond blonde to her collective hands upon her lap; tender eyes, audible breathes, he wanted to take her far from this room with its reality, events and vastly far from any harm. He doesn't want to witness her final walls fall. She worked to be discovered to be found to be accepted. She instead been exposed, lost, harmed and unhappy.
Her eyes empty, hollow of all the roads she traveled—dead-end and road blocked from any of her wants. Her needs are endless. Reading her face, fumbling with her hands, how far could grace save her anymore?
The upending quietness seemed to be the only wish granted to her.
-Everyone else is okay? The baby…Chuck? Blair asked still watching her hands.
-I think some of us should give Blair some space. Rufus stated ushering Lily as she bid Blair goodbye. Nate flashing his best assuring smile to her trekked behind the others wishing the best to Serena, figuring Serena could help Blair the most. Dan still hinged to the door, moved for his dad and Lily to pass by. His father patted his back like any other day he would though Lily did something quite different.
-Daniel, you can stay behind if you want. Blair may need another friend. She smiled; possibly glad for having him as a step-son, displaying creases at the corner of her emerald eyes never noticing how aged she had become. They've all grown, too many changes in little time, wondering how many of those changes lead them here, asking if all those changes were needed for better or worse.
He whispered a thank-you to Lily, knowing how little he had said those words to her and only noticing how thankful he should be having her in his life doing the best she can as a mother.
He turned his attention back at Blair; Nate stopped, glancing between Dan and his beholder, and if Dan could bet every penny he earned from his book, he would say Nate might have known for a while.
-You might want to get a haircut before ascending her castle. Nate winked before nudging him a little more into the room. Dan figured it would take a little more than pampering for his chance but nodded for a response, promising Nate the full story for a later time.
Dan found himself unable to go further into the room. He wasn't even sure she noticed him yet. Before he considered another thought he saw Blair's eyes on him. She was waiting, if he was going to flee or stay—wants and needs. Dan summited himself and took the place where Louis sat before.
-Really, I'm questioning you might be getting checked in yourself, Humphrey, by your appearance and all. You look horrible. She escaped a chuckle, and Dan just glad she hasn't lost her humor.
-Fitting for a pauper though. Dan stated
-No not really. It wasn't even a question he asked but a smirk and the slightest glint in her eye made him believe she hasn't thought of him as a pauper in a long while.