CHARMING'S AUTHORS NOTE #1: In order to understand what this story is, we must venture back to May 1st, 2021; I was writing a one-shot about Sarah going home to her mother in 2003 to reconcile (it's in my folder) The problem was, I didn't know where Emma lived! I posted about it on the Chuck Fan Fiction facebook group, which you should all join if you haven't! In the following discussion, MyNameIsJeffNImLost commented that it would be a cool story idea if in the last episode, while Sarah was on the beach alone, what if Emma and Molly were there before Chuck got there. It was a small comment, but it sparked my imagination! In an instant I told him if he didn't write it then I would; he said I should, because he had too much going on at the time, but then again so did I. As I thought about it, an idea germinated in my mind, what if we both wrote it? What if we took the same prompt and just wrote our own story with it? I messaged him about it on FF and we hashed out the details. Now months later, this is the fruit of that labor; my story is some of my best writing in my opinion, and is easily the longest one-shot i've ever written, topping out at 9,739 words! I hope all of you enjoy this one, because it was a fun exercise in creativity.
CHARMING'S AUTHORS NOTE #2: Make sure you go check out MyNameIsJeffNImLost's story "Sarah vs the Little Girl" it's great and you should all go read and review it!
CHARMING'S AUTHORS NOTE #3: Gotta thank my beta Nev for checking this one out for me, this is a long one to do in one go so shout out to Nev for being a real Lad!
Diamond Absolutes
A Story by
CharmingCharles2896
Inspired by Conversations with
MyNameIsJeffNImLost
The vastness of the ocean made her feel small, insignificant, like her issues weren't as important as they seemed to her. The truth, was that an evil man had destroyed her life, and her family's lives, in a sick ploy to get his hands on the Intersect. Her memory was broken, that was the best way she could describe it. The only way she could explain it to people was that it was like she was blind and deaf in a massive room; she knew people were in the room, but she couldn't find them in her disorientation. She'd gotten glimpses, flickers of things, but nothing she could access at will; the cups at the Weinerlicious had been organized wrong, the Irene Demova virus, the carved heart in that house, but nothing concrete. Her memory used to be her finest attribute, she used to have a steel trap for a memory; before all of this mess, her memory was a certainty, a diamond absolute in a life that had very few certainties. Now her memory going as far back as two-thousand and six was hazy; like an impenetrably thick veil of fog had fallen over all of it. Her memories in two-thousand and five were mostly intact, although certain things were foggy. Her trip to Cabo with Bryce had gaps in it that it didn't used to have. Her time with Ryker was fuzzy, although she had flickers and glimpses of missions from that time period. Two-thousand and seven was almost completely blank, she had vague notions about orphaned babies and feelings of betrayal, but nothing else.
The worst part, was her total and complete loss of any memory of her husband, or the time they'd shared together. She'd found a great man, built a life, found a big family that loved her, and now it was all gone. The memories of her alleged husband's crushing anguish as he realized his wife was no more, were burned into her psyche. She'd lashed out at him, not believing what was in front of her eyes, but he hadn't fought back. In spite of everything she'd done to him in the last twenty-four hours, he'd leapt in front of a bullet for a woman that didn't love him, all because he loved her. All of that love was gone now, a big, blank, pit of empty nothingness. All day she'd tried to remember anything, literally anything that she'd seen in her mission logs, but nothing was there, and it made her feel so alone. Those mission logs told the story of a Sarah Walker that she didn't recognize, a woman who blossomed into a real person, thanks to the love of a civilian. Sarah had found everything she'd ever wanted as a kid, in Charles Irving Bartowski; but now that was all gone, all of that love, and all those feelings were taken from her.
She couldn't face him, or his family for that matter; she'd nearly murdered his sister, who was the mother of a young child! Even if they told her they still loved her, she just couldn't reconcile reality with what was going on in her head. Why couldn't she remember anything? It felt like the memories were right there, but they were just out of her reach. She was stumbling around in the dark now, marooned in a world that was wholly alien to her. So much was different, too different, too much had changed, and she hated it. Graham and Bryce were dead, she was no longer a spy. Cell phones had touch screens now, cars could be electric, social media, the president was a black man. Public sentiment towards the War on Terror had harshly soured since she last remembered way back in fall of two-thousand and five. So much of world politics was different now, the world she remembered didn't exist any longer, the bad guys were different, the good guys were different, it was all so very different.
She'd been on this beach for hours now; it had been night time when she'd arrived. The beach had been empty, nobody around to remind her of how much she'd lost. She'd walked on the beach, stared up at the stars, sat and watched the waves break on the shore as she screamed in rage. Tears had come and gone intermittently for most of the night, but still she sat here. The beach was just sand, ocean, and sky; things that were very much the same as before all of this. She felt control on this beach, but that was fleeting and she knew it. The sun had come up and the temperatures had risen to something more pleasant; she'd watched joggers pass by without a care, their lives were so certain, orderly, she was jealous of them. The questions in her mind all revolved around one singular issue, what was she going to do now? That was the million-dollar question, what now?
Sarah pulled her knees up close to her, making herself smaller, more compact, more secure. She could feel tears streaking down her cheek, but she did nothing to stop them; it was a wonder she felt anything at all. The ocean looked inviting, all she'd have to do was walk in and swim; eventually the water would overwhelm her and she'd just… fade away. That morbid thought scared her because of how much she'd considered it during the night; there had been a moment where she'd seriously thought about it, but that would have required her to get up and walk over there.
"Sarah!" Came the excited voice of a child from behind Sarah. In a flash, the former assassin was in agent mode as she searched for the threat; Sarah was on her feet in an instant.
"Molly, wait!" a familiar voice said behind her, just before a little body slammed into Sarah's legs and hugged her tightly.
"Sarah, Sarah, you've got to see the rock Mommy and I found; it's shaped like a heart!" The little blonde girl said to Sarah, who's eyes were as big as saucers.
"What?" Sarah stuttered in fear, she had no idea who this little girl was, but apparently this little girl knew her quite well. The little girl held up a small stone that was indeed shaped like a heart.
"Isn't it pretty?" The little girl asked her with a beaming smile on her face; Sarah took the stone in her hand and admired it for a brief moment.
"Yes, sure, but uh…" Sarah stumbled out in a panic; who was this girl, and where did she come from? Once again a familiar feminine voice filled her ears; a voice Sarah hadn't heard in years. Sarah's head snapped to her left and spotted an older blonde-haired woman that Sarah would recognize anywhere.
"Molly, you can't just run off like that," the blonde woman said to the little girl who nodded, properly chastised.
"Sorry Mommy," the little girl, whose name was apparently Molly, said; Sarah handed the stone back to Molly and simply stared in shock at the older woman before her. How was this possible? How was her mother standing here right now, she hadn't seen her mother since she was twelve years old?
"Mom?" Sarah said no louder than a ghostly whisper; the older woman simply smiled a loving smile and nodded. "How are you…? What are you…?" Sarah couldn't complete a sentence, she was speechless.
"Molly, give your sister some space," Emma said to the little girl as she drew closer to Sarah. "Hello, Sarah," Emma said calmly to Sarah, whose eyes grew large in shock.
"Sarah? You know my name? How is this possible, I haven't seen you since I was twelve years old? You have another daughter? What is happening?" Sarah said as she began to panic; in an instant Emma was at her daughter's side and placed her hands on both of Sarah's shoulders to steady the quickly spiraling former spy's emotions.
"Just breathe sweetie, just relax, everything is going to be okay," Emma said in a calming, motherly tone as she helped Sarah sit back down on the sand; Emma joined Sarah on the sand and simply held Sarah's hand.
"How are you here? How do you know my name?" Sarah asked in total confusion, she felt exposed and vulnerable.
"Of course I know my daughter's name, we reconciled years ago, in two-thousand and six," Emma said calmly to Sarah, who was struggling to keep it together.
"Reconciled? You don't hate me?" Sarah asked meekly, she felt like the ugly little twelve-year-old she was so long ago. Emma's features softened considerably and she shook her head no.
"How could I hate you, you're my daughter," Emma said emotionally to Sarah; that was the last answer the former con artist turned spy expected, apparently she'd reconciled with her mother sometime in the last seven years. Upon hearing that, she could barely stop the tears from bursting out of her.
"But I left, I chose Dad, I left you behind; I missed you for so long, but I was afraid you'd hate me for choosing my deadbeat dad over you. I'm so sorry for leaving Mom, I should have stayed, I should've…" Sarah didn't finish her sentence as she began bawling into her hands; Emma's heart broke for her daughter, so she quickly pulled Sarah into a hug.
"Hey no, I could never hate you; you're my daughter Sarah, I'll always love you, no matter what," Emma said as she hugged her despondent daughter in her arms.
"What's wrong, Sarah?" Molly asked as she reached out and gently rubbed Sarah's golden blonde locks on the back of her head.
"I don't understand," Sarah said as she pulled away from her mother and looked over at Molly who was equally confused. "You had another kid?" Sarah asked as she looked back over to her mom with red, tear stained cheeks.
"You don't remember me?" Molly asked with a hint of hurt in her voice, but mostly confusion; Emma simply looked over at Molly and pulled her into a sideways hug of her own.
"Your sister had an accident a few weeks ago and a bunch of her memory is gone now," Emma answered gently, hoping to get the little five-year-old to understand.
"Are you okay?" Molly asked with genuine worry as she ran past Emma and stood right in front of Sarah, reaching out to grasp Sarah's face with both hands in worry. "Are you okay? Is Uncle Chuck okay too?" Molly asked, the question felt like a dagger through Sarah's heart.
"I don't know," Sarah said nervously to the five-year-old; that was the answer to both questions. Was Sarah really okay? Was her ex-husband okay as well? Sarah had no answers for those questions. Emma, sensing that her oldest daughter was starting to freak out, spoke up to save her.
"Molly, what did we say about personal space?" Emma said to the five-year-old who quickly took two steps back and apologized.
"Sorry Sarah," Molly said quietly as she looked down at her bare feet in the warm sand.
"It's okay," Sarah said blankly before she turned to Emma and spoke. "Did you remarry?" Emma simply gave her oldest daughter a kind smile and shook her head no.
"You saved me Sarah!" Molly said excitedly, surprising Sarah who quickly looked at Emma.
"What is she talking about?" Emma simply looked away, and watched the ocean as she thought of how best to answer this. She'd had to tell innocent little Molly a very sanitized version of the story her daughter had told her so long ago, after Ryker came after them a few weeks ago.
"Back in two-thousand and seven, you were given a mission by your handler, Kieran Ryker." The name was vaguely familiar to Sarah, and the notions of an orphaned baby made sense now. "Your handler was dirty and he was after a baby; he planned to ransom the baby for extended families oil fortune. You betrayed Ryker and got the baby away from him; a few days later, you brought her to me, my little Molly." Emma said as she pulled Molly towards her, causing the giggly five-year-old to tumble down into her lap, laughing the whole time.
"What happened to Ryker, if he was dirty, he could still come after you two?" Emma simply had to smile at her daughter, even now with her memory shot to hell, she was still looking out for others. Emma simply looked over at Sarah and mouthed her answer so as to prevent the innocent little five-year-old from hearing.
"Dead," Sarah simply nodded in relief; another question was gnawing at her brain, but she didn't want to know if she even wanted to know the answer. Ultimately her desire to have the whole picture won out, so she asked anyway.
"How did you know about my memory?" Emma hesitated to answer for a short moment, before deciding that honesty was the best path forward.
"Your husband told me," Emma said deliberately, the fact that her mother had said husband instead of Chuck was not lost on Sarah.
"Did he send you two here to find me?" Sarah said with a bit more edge than was probably necessary; Emma reached out over Molly and gave Sarah a steadying touch.
"No Sarah, Chuck did not send us here; he has no idea we're even here. I just wanted to take Molly out for some fresh air and some exercise." Emma said to Sarah who instantly felt bad about the harsh tone she'd just used.
"Sorry, didn't mean for that to sound so harsh," Sarah said self-consciously as she looked away from her mother and admired the sprawling ocean and beautiful beach.
"No, I get what you were thinking; everything is turned on its head for you right now. You have a husband, but no memory of him; apparently, you're not with the agency anymore, but you don't remember quitting. I get that things don't make sense Sarah, just know that I'm right here if you need me," Emma said to Sarah who simply nodded with a brooding look on her face. Emma could see a thousand questions and worries bouncing around in her daughter's head and it made her sad. Just a few short weeks ago her daughter had a perfect life and had finally reached a point, where she had everything she'd always wanted as a child. Now it was as if the universe had taken that all away from her; it was like her daughter had been unmade in four horrible days by a sadistic monster.
"Talk to me Sarah," Emma said softly, hoping to coax anything out of her daughter; Molly stood up from Emma's lap and started playing in the sand about ten feet in front of the mother daughter duo.
"I don't know where to even start," Sarah said softly as she watched the innocent little girl build sand castles in the sand; Emma looked over at Molly as well and had to smile.
"Wherever feels right," Emma said simply as she felt the coarse sand in between her fingers; Sarah simply nodded, almost to herself, as she looked down between her knees that were once again pulled up close to her.
"What am I going to do, I can't go back to being an agent, not with my memory the way that it is?"
"You can do anything you want to, Sweetie; you have a degree from Harvard in romance languages. You're still as smart as a tack; you have the opportunity to do anything you want with the rest of your life, a clean slate," Emma said reassuringly.
"I guess, I just wish I could remember anything from what I've lost; it doesn't even have to be something big and important, literally anything," Sarah said despondently as her brooding look returned; Emma simply nodded with a sad smile.
"I know," Emma said quietly as she looked out at the ocean like her daughter. "I wish I could fix this; you were so happy before this all happened, but you can still get all of that back if you try," Emma said, throwing out the idea of a return to her old life, a life that was alien to the former spy. Sarah scoffed at that and rolled her eyes, before she shook her head.
"I can't go back to them," Sarah said quickly, like there was nothing else to say on the subject; Emma gave her daughter a shocked look.
"Of course, you can go back, they love you Sarah, they're your family!" Emma said passionately; unable to imagine why her daughter couldn't go back to her family.
"I nearly killed them all!" Sarah said back loudly, shocking Emma and grabbing Molly's attention, as well as a few joggers. "I nearly murdered my own husband two separate times! I threatened to shoot the maid of honor at my wedding in the stomach! She's a mother of a two-year-old little girl and I almost took that girl's mother away. I nearly blew up people that trusted me, people that relied on me, bled with me. I betrayed all of them, how can I possibly go back and not think about that? How can I look Ellie in the eye after what I did? How can I look her daughter in the eye when she grows up and explain that I nearly killed her mother, but it's okay now, because it was all a mistake!" Sarah said angrily before her head fell back into her hands and the tears started anew; Emma simply blinked away tears of her own and comfortingly rubbed gentle circles on Sarah's shoulder with her hand.
"I'm so sorry Sarah, I know it hurts," Emma said simply as she watched Molly stomp on the sand castles like Godzilla or King Kong would. Her words felt hollow, but she didn't know what else to say in the face of pain such as this. Sarah looked up from her hands and watched the pure innocence of Molly Wilson. Molly was so purely good, untouched by the evils of the world; if only Sarah could go back to that time in her life, when things were simpler.
"I wish I could go back to when I was her age, just do everything all over again; things would be different, my life would be different," Sarah said as she watched Molly make sand castles and then smash them like a giant monster. Emma simply nodded in understanding at Sarah words and spoke.
"You never really had a chance to be as innocent as she is; from the very beginning, things were hard for you. Your father and I divorced so early into your childhood that your father was able to sink his claws into you from the beginning. I should have fought for full custody, but I couldn't afford the legal bills," the regret in Emma's voice made Sarah sad.
"You did your best," Sarah said, wishing to relieve her mother of her residual guilt; Emma simply shrugged that off.
"I should have done more to convince you, more to show you who your father really was; you were just a kid, I never should have sat back and let you choose," Emma said honestly, and in that moment, Sarah couldn't disagree.
"If I could go back, I'd make sure none of this ever happened; no cons with Dad, no matter how much fun we had. No CIA, no spies, no lies, no killing, none of it," Sarah said with bitterness dripping from her tone; Emma gave her daughter a sad look.
"But then you'd never have known Chuck?" Emma said, reminding her daughter of the husband she still had; Sarah simply snorted derisively.
"I don't know him now," Sarah said sarcastically, which disappointed Emma; Sarah knew she was being bitter about things, but she just had this anger inside her that wanted out. Emma gave Sarah's hand a firm squeeze to grab her attention; Sarah saw a firmer look in Emma's eyes than she had seen since she was a little kid.
"Yes, you do Sarah, you know who Chuck Bartowski is. I knew after three minutes with the guy; so you should know after jet setting all over the world with him for the last three weeks," Emma's words made Sarah blush with embarrassment; she'd underestimated her mother, who apparently knew more than she let on.
"What if I can't make it work?" Sarah muttered quietly; Emma smiled a small smile to herself as she heard the real issue come to the surface.
"What was that?" Emma said quietly, she had heard her daughter the first time, but she wanted her daughter to say it again.
"What if I can't do it? What if I go back to him, and I can't be who he wants me to be?" Emma simply smiled and gave Sarah a small hug.
"You won't know unless you go back and actually talk to him, completely honest and with nothing held back." Sarah simply nodded at her mother's words. She knew her mother was right about everything; she did need to go talk to Chuck, but what could she really say to him now? She wasn't the woman he married; she didn't even know if she could become that person. "Listen to me Sarah, don't try to be what you think he wants, just be yourself," Emma said to her daughter who simply groaned in frustration.
"But what does that even mean? I'm not anything anymore, everything I thought to be true is no longer true. Every single thing I used to think was an absolute certainty is just gone. The only world I know of for certain is two-thousand and five, it's like I'm from Mars or something, I feel like a damn alien!" Sarah said angrily before laying back in the sand and yelling to the heavens in frustration. Sarah sat back up self-consciously and once again pulled her knees up against her chest securely. Emma simply nodded; she couldn't even imagine how her daughter must feel at the moment.
"I won't even try to imagine how you must feel right now, but you can't let him, that monster, win. You can't let the man that did this to you win; you need to live your life or he'll have beaten you. If you don't try to live, then everything you were, all those happy moments with Chuck, mean nothing. Is that really what you want your legacy to be Sarah, a woman who just rolled over and gave up after something tragic happened? You once told me you were the best, the Enforcer," Emma said forcefully, Sarah turned her head and spoke back with an agitated look on her face.
"I was the best, but that was a long time ago," Emma simply rolled her eyes at that obvious dodge.
"Yeah, three weeks is such a long time Sarah," Emma said sarcastically, which made Sarah blush. "You were the best, Sarah, the Enforcer; what happened? Did you forget her too, because you told me they started calling you the Ice Queen in training?" Emma said forcefully to her daughter, she'd had enough of this tender comfort stuff, her daughter needed a push or she'd just stay like this, feeling bad about herself forever. Sarah stood and looked at her mother with fury burning in her eyes.
"How dare you," Sarah growled angrily, Emma stood up to face Sarah, not backing down an inch; Molly simply watched the exchange with interest.
"Oh what, are you getting mad Ms. Ice Queen?" Emma said as she got in Sarah's face; admittedly she was rather afraid of her daughter at the moment, but this was necessary for her Daughter's own good.
"I'm warning you Mother, stop calling me Ice Queen," Sarah warned menacingly.
"Does it make you mad when I call you Ice Queen? Does it make you angry that the big bad Ice Queen is just a scared little girl? What is it Ice Queen, are you mad?" Emma challenged as she faced down the death glare she was currently receiving from her daughter.
"You're damn right I'm mad," Sarah growled.
"Good!" Emma shot back, surprising Sarah; Emma didn't give Sarah a chance to continue. "If you're getting mad, then you're still alive, you're still a human being! You were the best agent in the world, there was nothing you couldn't do, no enemy you couldn't beat. If you weren't who you are right now, then Molly wouldn't be standing here with us, that's who you are! You are Sarah Bartowski, the most beautiful, smartest, funniest, most incredible, woman in the entire world. I won't let you lose all of that because of this; you've sacrificed too much, Sarah. You've given up everything for other people; you've missed out on too much to deprive yourself of a happy life when it is right there waiting for you. Now stop being a little bitch and quit feeling sorry for yourself!" Emma finished angrily much to Sarah and Molly's shock; Emma was near tears as she finished her impassioned speech. She saw the stunned looks on her daughters' faces and simply sighed in defeat. "Do what you want Sarah, try and have a happy life or don't, just please do something," Emma finished tearfully, there was nothing else she could say, she'd laid it all out for her daughter.
Sarah was stunned, she didn't know what to say in the face of her mother's speech, but she had to admit that her mother had said some things that were true. She was the best in the world at one point, both feared and respected. Sarah Walker had taken down the worst of the worst in her career, and that was before she'd apparently met Chuck and achieved even greater things with him.
"Mommy, don't cuss, you're gonna need to put a dollar in the swear jar when we get home!" Molly said, much to Sarah's amusement; Sarah and Emma both laughed at that as Molly continued. "Please don't fight; Bobby's family fights and it makes him sad," Molly said as she stood between the two generations of Wilson's. Sarah was the first to respond as she got down to look at Molly at eye level.
"Don't worry Molly, we're not fighting; Mom was just showing me how wrong I was," Sarah said as she hugged the small child that she'd saved from a horrible fate, not that she remembered doing it.
"Yeah, she's been doing that with me a lot lately," Molly added honestly before she looked up over her left shoulder at her mother, who was simply standing there in shock. Emma was shocked that she'd cussed in front of Molly, she would indeed owe the swear jar a dollar when they got home.
"You're absolutely right Molly, I cussed and that was wrong of me; your sister's right though, we weren't fighting," Emma said as she got down to Molly's level and looked at the cute little girl. Sarah spoke next as she eyed the crushed piles of sand off to her left.
"So, what were you playing?" Molly's eyes lit up with excitement, which made Emma chuckle.
"Godzilla!" Molly said excitedly, which elicited a bright smile from Sarah that Emma was glad to see.
"Godzilla? I used to watch Godzilla movies with my dad when I was little!" Sarah told Molly, which made the five-year-old's eyes sparkle with joy.
"Really?" Molly asked, Sarah simply nodded and spotted the curious look on Emma's face.
"TV stations would play them all the time at night while Dad and I were on the road; after a bad day, he'd buy us some Rocky Road and we'd find something to watch. Usually, we'd end up watching some old movie like North by Northwest, but there were a few times where it was those old Godzilla movies with the rubber suits," Sarah said to Emma who simply smiled a small smile and nodded.
"Turner Classic Movies played one the other day, and this little one just absolutely loved it, isn't that right my little monster!" Emma said as she ruffled Molly's blonde locks; Molly simply roared in response, which made Sarah laugh at her adorable sister. Emma simply watched Molly for a moment before she felt her phone buzz, she spoke, "Molly, why don't you show your big sister how to play Godzilla, while I answer this phone call." Molly simply nodded and led Sarah over to her sand castles that she'd erected to destroy, while Emma walked back towards the cars and out of earshot of Moly and Sarah. Emma pulled her cell phone out and answered it.
"Hello, Emma Wilson," Emma answered cheerfully as she often did.
"Hey Emma, it's Morgan Grimes," Morgan said as if he needed to remind her who he was after seeing her only a few weeks ago.
"Hello Morgan, how are you?" Emma said warmly as she looked back over towards her two daughters, two generations of women, living two completely different lives.
"Doing alright, all things considered," Morgan said honestly, there was a hint of melancholy in there that Emma knew the source of; Sarah was an important piece of all of their lives and what had happened to her affected all of them in some way.
"I can understand that, things have been difficult recently," Emma said which was a delicate way of saying that things had been awful the past few weeks.
"Anyways, I was just calling to see if you'd heard from Sarah recently, I know she's your daughter and it's really none of my business, but I still worry about her," Morgan said honestly, he spiraled just like Chuck did, which Emma found so charming.
"No, you're fine, until very recently, Sarah was your best friend's loving wife and a dear friend of yours, so it's understandable that you'd worry. As for if I've heard from her, I have," Emma said, omitting the fact that she'd just finished talking with her troubled daughter; it wasn't fair to Sarah if Emma told Morgan, because Morgan would tell Chuck who'd immediately drive down here, when Sarah may not be ready to talk to him.
"Oh, you have; how was she?" Morgan asked quickly; Emma simply smiled at Morgan as she watched Molly stomp on some sand castles with her arms drawn up against her sides like Godzilla's as he smashed buildings.
"She was scared, and confused; she doesn't understand the world she's currently living in and her memory loss is far worse than Chuck explained to me a week ago," Emma said honestly as she saw Sarah belly laugh with Molly.
"That's what I was afraid of; do you know where she is by any chance, I know Chuck is worried sick about her?" Morgan asked the question Emma had been dreading; as Emma looked at the happy expression on her troubled daughter's face, she came to a decision.
"Sorry Morgan, but I don't know where she is at the moment, I'll be sure to let you know if I find out," Emma said evenly, as she saw Molly leap at Sarah playfully, tackling the former agent to the ground.
"Okay, thank you Emma, just keep us posted if you hear anything, we're worried about her," Morgan said with disappointment obvious in his tone; Emma was glad that Sarah had people in her life that cared about her as much as the greater Bartowski clan did.
"I certainly will Morgan, take care now," Emma said before ending the call and turning back to her two daughters who were laughing and playing in the sand; it was so nice to see the two of them bonding one again in spite of Sarah's memory loss. Emma put her phone away and walked back over to her two daughters who were laughing hysterically at the mounds of stomped on sand.
"My oh my, it looks like you two certainly destroyed Tokyo!" Emma said cheerfully, grabbing Sarah's attention; Emma saw the pure joy on Sarah's face and it was such a relief.
"Oh, we did, there were no survivors," Sarah quipped from down in the sand next to Molly who was busy building more sand castles to smash. Emma extended a hand towards Sarah, which the former CIA wet work specialist gratefully took to get to her feet. Sarah brushed some of the sand off of her clothes and looked at Molly play in the sand. She was getting all sandy, but she was having a ball, which was all that Emma cared about.
"Who was that on the phone, you looked all pensive for a moment?" Sarah asked as she eyed her mother out of the corner of her eye. Emma simply smiled at her daughter and breathed a laugh, nothing got past the Enforcer.
"You've still got it; nothing gets by you Sweetie," Emma said as she obviously dodged the question; eventually the look from her oldest daughter became too much and she fessed up.
"Okay it was Morgan, are you happy!" Emma admitted defensively, which made Sarah chuckle before she sobered once again.
"What did he want from you?" Sarah asked as her defenses went back up to a small degree and she looked out over the ocean.
"He was asking if I'd heard anything from you; they're all worried about you," Emma said honestly as she admired the stunning Pacific Ocean sprawling before her.
"What did you tell him?" Sarah said as she turned slightly to look warily towards her mother," Emma simply gave her daughter a look that told Sarah exactly what she needed to know.
"Do you really think I'd tell them where you were without your consent? What you do with your husband and his family is your business, not mine," Sarah simply nodded to her mother and contemplated the words she'd said; the word husband kept ringing around in her mind like a broken record. They were still married after all, but was he really her husband? She didn't even know him, or did she?
"Husband," Sarah breathed cynically.
"They still love you Sarah, Morgan wouldn't haven't called and told me that Chuck was worried sick, if they didn't still care deeply about you," Emma said honestly, Sarah had to concede that point, it was valid even if it was absolutely terrifying.
"I should go talk to him, shouldn't I?" Sarah said to her mother as she turned her head to the right and squinted from the sun. Emma simply shrugged, but nodded in the affirmative.
"I think so, but the choice of what you do with your life is ultimately up to you; I will warn you though, Chuck and the rest of his family love you very much. It's very hard to find good people like that, don't take that for granted, because you may never find someone like him again." Emma said honestly, Sarah simply nodded in agreement.
"There is certainly no one like Chuck Bartowski," Sarah said as she turned back to the ocean; Emma looked behind herself to look in the direction of the parking lot and that's when she saw him. "I'm going to talk to Chuck, I don't know when, but I know I need to have a serious talk with him, one way or the other. I don't know when I'll do it, but someday I'll go talk to him," Sarah said with a nod of her head and a small smile as she simply watched the waves crash into the ocean; Emma simply smiled at her daughter and nodded to herself as she closed the distance to her daughter and placed a hand on Sarah's shoulder to get her attention. Sarah turned ninety degrees to look at her mother who had a weird smile on her face.
"I'm glad to hear you say that Sarah, but I think that conversation is going to happen sooner than you think," Emma said with a humorous smile on her face at Sarah's confused look.
"What makes you say that?" Sarah asked in total confusion, Emma simply motioned with her eyes towards the parking lot. Sarah slowly turned and looked, only to find one Charles Irving Bartowski standing there, with a cautious look on his face. Sarah was speechless, how had he found her? How was he here? Why was he here?
"I swear, that boy has a sixth sense when it comes to you," Emma said to the stunned Sarah, who simply nodded mutely. Emma simply chuckled and continued, "If this wasn't a sign from the lord that you need to talk to that boy, then I don't know what is," Emma said to Sarah who simply nodded once again.
"Tell me about it," Sarah quipped quietly, Emma simply laughed and patted Sarah on the shoulder and turned away, towards Molly; before Emma walked away, she turned back slightly and spoke one last time.
"Remember, be honest with him, tell him what you really feel; be yourself, not what you think he wants you to be. Your husband fell in love with you, in two thousand and seven, not two thousand and twelve," Emma said to Sarah who nodded nervously and swallowed thickly, Emma gave her shoulder a comforting squeeze, "Good luck," Sarah simply nodded and turned to watch Chuck walk towards her, as Emma Wilson walked away to collect her youngest.
Sarah was once again alone with her thoughts as she watched Chuck's footfalls in the sand, it was almost in slow motion, thunderous footsteps getting ever closer. In the distance, Sarah heard her mother call for Molly to come with her, but Sarah was too focused on Chuck's looming presence to remember Molly and Emma. He looked so pensive, choked by caution, he looked how she felt, if she was being honest. Chuck stopped a good four feet from Sarah. There was a long silence between the two of them as they both tried to figure out what to say to the other.
"Hey…" they both said simultaneously, which got a laugh from both of them.
"Hello Chuck," Sarah said soberly, she didn't know how to act around him after everything that had happened between them in the last few weeks. She'd spent days pushing him away and telling him it wasn't their story; she'd spent weeks belittling what they so obviously had. How was she supposed to act around him now, after all of that?
"Hello Sarah," Chuck replied with an equally stunted voice, he usually spoke with such warmth and love, but it would seem he'd lost that after everything that had happened. The awkward silence between them quickly became too much for the blonde who spoke emotionally.
"I'm so sorry Chuck, for everything, for…" Sarah trailed off as she became choked with emotion, the tears had returned, but these weren't tears born out of fear and anger, they were born from immense loss. Chuck simply nodded with glassy eyes of his own, there was recognition in those hazel eyes; he knew what she was actually saying, he heard the apology that she wasn't his wife anymore.
"Me too…" Chuck muttered. Sarah simply nodded and turned back towards the ocean, towards the perceived security of the wind and the waves.
"This place is important, isn't it? That's why you're here right now," Sarah said as she blinked away her tears and tried to regain her center. Chuck simply nodded to the back of her head and gave her a small smile as he closed the distance between them and stood next to her, to watch the waves break on the shore.
"Yes, this place is very important," Chuck said as he watched his wife sit down on the sand and simply… be. Sarah simply nodded to Chuck, she figured as much, there was no way he'd telepathically figured out she was here, there had to be a story, there was always a story with the two of them.
"I've lost so many memories, stuff long before we met is just gone now; there's a big, black, empty space in my memory now Chuck," Sarah said with a frustrated huff, Chuck simply nodded in complete understanding.
"I know exactly what you're feeling right now Sarah, knowing you should remember something, but you don't," Sarah gave Chuck a shocked and confused look, which Chuck returned with a simple nod.
"You do?" Sarah asked with obvious shock in her voice; Chuck breathed out a chuckle and simply nodded tearfully.
"Last year a man named Adelbert de Smet captured me on a mission. At the time I didn't have the Intersect so I was a sitting duck, but he didn't know that. de Smet was after the Intersect, which he thought was trapped in my head. After he captured me, he took me to Thailand and put me in a coma to begin experimenting on my brain, trying to erase my memories to isolate the Intersect. At least that's what all of you told me he was after, I don't remember most of it," Sarah swallowed nervously as she heard the story unfold; she could see that this was not a happy memory for Chuck.
"What happened?" Sarah asked, almost afraid to hear the answer; Chuck swallowed emotionally and looked her in the eye with a look that floored Sarah. It was pure love, and it was intimidating.
"My amazing girlfriend saved me," Sarah gasped. "Apparently, de Smet had begun what he called Phase Three, which was a sort of lobotomy that would wipe my mind of everything but the Intersect. It would have just destroyed everything about me eventually. You apparently went to a bit of a dark place for a little while after I was taken; we'd just been fighting about me being in the field without the Intersect and you'd said some things that you felt had led to me taking an unnecessary risk that got me captured," Sarah simply nodded, so Chuck continued.
"I do know that I was having these weird dreams, people I knew, telling me to flash; Morgan, my sister, Captain Awesome, you. They were using everyone against me to try and break me; all the while I knew I was losing parts of my memory, painful jolts and then something would just… disappear. I was so scared, it was like everything that made me, me was being taken away from me and there was nothing I could do about it." Sarah was terrified by this story, she couldn't remember how her experience went, but she had a feeling it was very similar; Chuck did know how she was feeling, he knew exactly how she was feeling.
"Like I said, you went to a dark place, because Morgan spilled the beans that I'd been planning on proposing to you, but it had all gone on hold after I lost the Intersect. I knew it was stupid, but a small part of me felt like you wouldn't marry me without that fucking Intersect in my head, so I nearly got myself killed trying to fix the supposed problem." Sarah swallowed at that revelation, they'd both been through so much together. "Naturally, you felt terrible once Morgan told you, and the Wild Card Enforcer part of you came out to play for the first time in many years, as you and Morgan told me afterwards," Sarah snorted at the nickname that Chuck had used, which made Chuck smile as well.
"The Wild Card Enforcer?" Sarah asked with a small smile. Chuck simply nodded. "I hated that one almost as much as the Ice Queen; what's wrong with just calling me the Enforcer? That's a scary nickname, why can't they just keep it simple?" Sarah said with a small smile and a laugh. Chuck simply laughed hard, as he knew what was coming.
"Just wait, there's a way worse nickname for you coming up," Chuck said which both scared and intrigued Sarah. "As you and Morgan told the story, you basically went off on your own like some crazed, lovesick, Terminator. You broke into the Thai Embassy in LA and kidnapped a diplomat to interrogate," that made Sarah's eyebrows shoot up in shock. Chuck simply nodded. "Oh yeah, after that, the diplomat gave you some info and you disappeared for three days, fighting your way through the Thai underworld," Sarah simply nodded in shocked silence, that sounded like something she could do, but the motives were completely alien. Love? Preposterous!
"Finally, you managed to track de Smet down, but you couldn't do it alone; somehow Casey and Morgan found you and the three of you went in after me. Morgan told me that the plan was the magnet, he came in as a stoned-out backpacker while you waited in the nearby pond to attack the guards as they searched Morgan's bag. Apparently, you came out of the water like a sexy Navy Seal, with a freaking KA-Bar between your teeth!" That got a laugh from Sarah, which made Chuck happy.
"This is the part you won't like," Chuck said with a knowing wince. Sarah gave Chuck a confused look. "When the guards saw you, they were so afraid of your new reputation that they allegedly shouted that it was the 'Giant Blonde Shemale' and ran away," Sarah reared back in shocked anger.
"They called me a what!?" Chuck simply laughed hard at Sarah's anger and nodded.
"You heard me right, they called you the Giant Blonde Shemale," Chuck simply laughed as Sarah's cheeks blushed brilliantly. "I don't know what you did to earn that moniker, but whatever it was must have been memorable!" Chuck said with a laugh that Sarah finally matched with her own as she thought about the absurdity of the name. Sarah saw Chuck sober considerably and she had a feeling, things were about to get dark.
"When you found me, I was in a bad way, he apparently told you that I was almost completely gone," Chuck said as he simply watched the waves. Sarah could see the tears welling up in Chuck's eyes as he once again revisited the fear he felt back then. "I was still having dreams and I remember you came to me in a dream; you said that you loved me and you had so much you wanted to tell me." Sarah could hear the emotion in Chuck's voice as his voice broke.
"You told me that you'd found my proposal plan, how I was planning on proposing on the beach in Malibu," his breathing hiccupped emotionally before he forced himself to go on. "…where we watched the sunrise on our first date," Sarah couldn't help but huff emotionally at that revelation, this beach wasn't just important, this beach was EVERYTHING to them! This place was hugely important to them if this was where they spent their first date, five years ago. "You told me that you wanted to spend the rest of your life with me and didn't care if I had the Intersect of not. You told me that without me, you were just a spy and that you wanted to marry me." Chuck said with an emotional smile on his face as the tears finally fell from his cheeks, he wiped at them quickly, but she'd seen them nonetheless. Sarah was in shock, had she really said all of those things to him just one year ago? Was she really capable of that kind of emotion, was she really capable of loving another person that much?
"I said all that?" Sarah asked breathlessly as her own eyes grew misty; Chuck nodded unflinchingly, there was no doubt in his body language, which floored Sarah.
"Every word, every single word," Chuck said, but Sarah could tell Chuck was holding something back.
"What happened next?" Chuck hemmed and hawed for a moment before he turned to face her, which surprised her.
"You kissed me, and it was like magic; I woke up and most of my memory was back," Sarah was visibly shocked by Chuck's story, which was plain to see.
"One magical kiss, eh?" Sarah said with a smile and a raised eyebrow, Chuck simply nodded.
"Saved my life, like sleeping beauty," Chuck said with a chuckle that Sarah matched in kind, before sobering, which Chuck noticed. Chuck didn't speak as he noticed that Sarah had something she needed to say, she may not remember, but he still knew all of her ques.
"I need to tell you something," Chuck simply nodded. "Back in Germany, I told you that it wasn't our story, that it was your story," Chuck nodded emotionally as he remembered how much that hurt; Sarah saw the lingering hurt from those words she'd said a week ago and it made her sad, he was simply trying to help her and she'd hurt him back then. "I need to apologize for that remark," Sarah said honestly as she looked down at her hands before looking back to him; Chuck went to protest, but Sarah stopped him.
"No Chuck, I was wrong to say that, and it was mean of me to put it so harshly; you were only trying to help me and I was scared and afraid," Chuck simply nodded as she continued her long apology. "I was afraid of what was going to happen to me, I was afraid of all of you, I was afraid, so fucking afraid of literally everything. Mostly though, I was angry, I was just plain angry that someone had so obviously disrupted my life; even if I didn't believe I could love like you said I did, Quinn still destroyed my life and that made me mad," Sarah said quietly as she looked at the finger where her wedding ring used to be, there was a tan line there and that bothered her to no end.
"I came on too strong, I pushed too hard, and I didn't act like a professional; you had every right to get after me for my behavior Sarah," Chuck said, much to Sarah's frustration.
"Stop that," Chuck recoiled away from her as she spoke. "Stop excusing me for being a horrible bitch to you; I was awful to all of you, so stop making excuses when I was clearly in the wrong," Sarah said assertively, she was starting to understand the kind of person that Chuck Bartowski was, he was the kind of person who'd try and take the burden away from you so you could heal, even if you were in the wrong. Chuck simply nodded to Sarah, apparently this was a conversation the two of them had, had before, which made Sarah smile internally.
"I never should have said that it was just your story, Chuck; it's our story and I think I understand that now," Chuck gave Sarah a small smile as he heard her words, to Chuck this was progress, slow progress, but progress none the less.
"It is quite the story if I'm being honest; the three of us did in five years what a dozen spies might not do in an entire career," Chuck said as he saw a Golden Eagle flying out over the ocean water, a wholly uncommon sight in Los Angelis.
"Chuck?" Sarah said, grabbing Chuck's attention; Chuck looked over at Sarah as she spoke, "tell me our story." Sarah saw the warmth return to Chuck's eyes and it made her feel funny on the inside; Chuck gave her a bright smile and seemed to open up to her so much more than before.
"It's a long one, so buckle up," Chuck said, which got a smile from Sarah, who simply looked around and then back to Chuck.
"I don't know about you, but I don't really have anywhere I've got to be any time soon, so let's hear that story," Sarah said with a bright smile of her own that got a chuckle from Chuck as well as a nod.
"As you wish," Chuck began with a showy nod that made Sarah laugh; for some reason she felt like she recognized that phrase, but she couldn't place it. She had a feeling it had a deeper meaning, but she couldn't be sure; she'd have to ask Chuck about it later. Chuck took a deep breath and relaxed to tell his favorite story, "Okay so this is the story of a lonely nerd who got an email from his old college friend on his birthday. This email contained all sorts of governments secrets that were instantly downloaded into the nerd's brain. Then the next day, his life really changed, when he met an incredible woman named Sarah… and he fell in love," Chuck said with a teary smile as he continued to tell the love of his life their story, with all the crazy ups and downs, all the towering highs and crushing lows. This was a fairy tale for the ages, a legendary tale that would be told in the spy world right alongside Roan and Beckman's story. Even as Chuck was telling the story, he had a feeling that the story was not yet finished, there was still a chapter yet to be written, the final chapter, where the loving couple got to live happily ever after in their dream house, with the kids they both wanted so much. If Chuck wanted a chance to write that last chapter of this wonderful fairytale, he knew he needed to pour everything he had into this story, he had to give Sarah everything he had, one more time.
Down the beach, Emma and Molly were watching what Emma hoped was the end of the beginning of Chuck and Sarah's marriage, and not the beginning of the end of their marriage. They were both laughing as Chuck told some grand story, which Emma felt was promising. She just hoped that Sarah gave the two of them an honest chance, because Emma had no doubt that if Sarah just let Chuck have another chance to love her, then Sarah would become the happiest woman on earth.
"Mommy," Molly said to Emma from her right as she too watched her sister talk with her Uncle Chuck; the five-year-old couldn't hear what they were saying, but it looked like they were happy.
"Yes, Little One?" Emma said as she looked down at Molly who was still holding her hand; the little one was all covered in sand, but she'd had a good time at the beach, which was all that had mattered to her mother.
"Is Sarah going to be okay?" What a loaded question that was from Molly; how did Emma even answer that, how did Emma even go about beginning to answer a question like that? Emma took a long moment to watch Chuck and Sarah as she thought of how best to answer that question. Chuck and Sarah were laughing and having a good time with whatever they were talking about and Emma could see from Sarah's body language just how much more comfortable she felt around Chuck. The way Sarah leaned on Chuck when she laughed at his boisterous story telling told Emma all she needed to know.
"Yeah, I think she's going to be just fine, Little One," Emma said lovingly to her youngest daughter who gave her a relieved smile and spoke.
"That's good, I was hoping for another cousin one day," Molly said out of nowhere; Emma's eyes grew large as she heard talk of cousins for Molly. Emma bent down and picked up the precocious five-year-old, who was busy giggling away.
"That's enough talk about cousins from you, they need to figure out their future before they start talking about babies," Emma said to her giggly daughter as she carried her away to the parking lot; as Emma looked past Molly, she could see Sarah and Chuck still talking and every second they talked and laughed together filled Emma with more confidence that her oldest daughter was going to be just fine. As Emma finally got to her Camry, she looked back towards the beach, Chuck and Sarah were merely a small spec at this distance, but Emma could see her daughter's head resting on her husband's shoulder lovingly.
"Yeah, they're going to be just fine," Emma mused to herself as she opened the backseat and helped Molly into her car seat.
Back down on the beach, Sarah was busy wiping the tears away from her eyes after laughing so much at Chuck helping John Casey find his anger center, classic story. The more she heard from Chuck, she began to understand. The more she heard about the dates, the missions, the tough moments between the missions; the more Sarah heard about all the moments where they'd wanted to be more, but couldn't, the more she heard about all of it, the more she knew that she'd loved this man with all her heart. Chuck Bartowski was a good man, a great person, and maybe the only person capable of helping her get back what had been taken from her by that evil man. Chuck was a patient man, who loved her without question, just because he did. Sarah knew that Chuck didn't expect anything from her in this moment or anything in the near future, he just wanted the chance to be in her life, to help her heal.
As Sarah saw the joy and enthusiasm in Chuck's eyes, she knew that she was going to give him that chance, she wanted this man in her life just as much as he wanted her in his. Sarah Walker didn't know how to love, but Sarah Bartowski did, and in that moment, on that beach, sitting next to her husband, Sarah Bartowski knew she was in love with Chuck Bartowski. She knew even though she didn't remember the journey, that her name was Sarah Bartowski and she was married to the most amazing man on earth. Earlier she'd contemplated diamond absolutes, the things that she used to think were an unfailing certainty. Today, after talking to this man, on this beach, Sarah Bartowski knew of another diamond absolute. Even though she couldn't remember this man, Sarah Bartowski knew without fail, that her love for Chuck Bartowski, was a diamond absolute.
CHARMING'S AUTHORS NOTE #4: Well that is Diamond Absolutes! Sarah Bartowski is in love, everything is going to be okay, they'll be just fine. Who knows, maybe Molly get's that cousin she wanted sooner than expected? Regardless, true love prevails this time, as if i'd let it go any other way! I'm a Charah lifer, Charah til I die, so they're always in good hands with me... eventually :P
CHARMING'S AUTHORS NOTE #5: Please consider leaving a review and sharing your thoughts with me; hearing your thoughts is so important to us fanfic writers, knowing what you all think is so vital. Thank you everyone for reading and remember to go read MyNameIsJeffNImLost's story too!
Until Next Time :D