When they woke the next morning, Chiron was gone.
"Well, that was weird." Hercules looked around in confusion, "I dreamt I met a centaur, whose training I actually liked and understood."
"You got a problem with how I train you?" Xena glared at him threateningly.
"No." Hercules back-pedaled. "Besides, it was just a dream. Right?" Hercules looked at them for confirmation.
"Let's get going." Nobody said as he started packing. He acted like he was disappointed.
"You haven't eaten yet." Xena was beginning to feel like a nag.
Nobody looked at the food that Hercules had helped himself to and said, "I'll eat when there is something decent to eat." Then he mumbled under his breath, "What I wouldn't do for a hamburger."
Xena's curiosity was piqued again. She so wanted to ask him what a hamburger was, or how he knew the centaur even though the centaur had no idea who he was. She had so many questions, but as usual, he remained shrouded in mystery. He continued to insist that he keep everything from them for their protection. Protection from what? That was part of the mystery.
"Well, I guess you're going to have to wait until we're done eating." Xena said as she took a bite of jerky. As she chewed and chewed and chewed on the dried jerky. The food was a bit tough, but this was how it was on the road. You ate what you had or you starved. He was very picky for a commoner, but lacked the manners of a prince or someone of a higher social status. He was a strong warrior, but vulnerable. He could be wise, but he was also insanely foolish at times. His very existence was a contradiction. The thought hit her like lightning. She wasn't sure why or what the significance was, but she was on to something.
"I'm ready to go." Hercules announced as he joined Nobody in packing his horse. "You want good food? It awaits us in Thebes. My mother makes the most amazing food."
Nobody looked unimpressed.
"Let's get going." Xena conceded as she quickly packed up her belongings.
Thankfully, the trip to Thebes was uneventful. They even made good time and arrived mid afternoon. As they traveled through the town, Xena couldn't help but notice a lot of glares being sent Hercules' way. If Hercules noticed, he didn't give anything away. He just looked straight forward. Although, he did look like he was perspiring more than usual. They rode past one of the inns where a distinct smell of porridge washed over them as they rode by. Nobody wrinkled his nose in disgust. Xena didn't think it was that bad. She had smelled worse.
Hercules' mother's house was located in the southern part of the small village. Hercules had remained quiet the whole trip through the village. It wasn't until they had gotten out into more of the open country that Hercules began to relax. Nobody gave him a sympathetic look. Xena couldn't help but wonder what that was about. They approached a humble house. It looked tended to but worn. Xena could see the wood showing through the baked mud.
"Mom!" Hercules shouted, as they got closer. A woman hurriedly came out. She was beautiful, but the hard life had added a few lines and gray strands caught in the sun.
"Heracles!" She exclaimed as she ran toward him.
Hercules jumped off his horse and ran to her. He enveloped her in a hug, lifting her off the ground. She laughed richly in surprise. When he set her down, he turned to introduce his companions. "Mom, this is Xena and Nobody."
"Hercules," his mother scolded, "it's rude to insult your companions when introducing them."
"No really. His name is Nobody." Hercules defended himself.
"That's me. Nobody." Nobody affirmed Hercules' declaration.
"Oh. Really?" She looked at him curiously. "I mean, welcome." She caught herself. "Friends of Heracles are always welcome here. Come in. Come in. Rest yourselves. You must be hungry. Unfortunately, I have only begun to make bread."
Xena watched as Nobody literally cringed.
"I've got tomato sauce for dipping, and some freshly made cheese." She continued.
Nobody suddenly shot straight up. "Wait a minute. You've got dough, tomato sauce and cheese?" He interrogated her.
"Yes?" She said clearly alarmed by his behavior.
"Do you have parsley?" He asked it as though it was a deciding factor.
"I grow fresh parsley in my garden." She answered tentatively.
"Yes!" Nobody shouted triumphantly. "Do you know what you have?" He asked with that manic gleam in his eye that Xena had come to be wary of.
"Um, bread, sauce, cheese, and parsley?" She answered uncertainly.
"Exactly! Please, can I show you the most incredible meal in the history of meals? Please?" His face screwed up where his eyes went wide and pleading, and his bottom lip stuck out. It was so strange on his face, Xena had an impulse to punch it off his face.
"You want to cook?" She was clearly surprised by the request.
"Uh, well, I can't exactly cook, but I know if we work together, we just might make something incredible." He made his strange face again.
"You are the guest." The poor mother conceded as she went back into the house with Heracles.
As soon as they were out of ear shot, Xena scolded Nobody. "What do you think you are doing?"
"Making real food." He shot back. She couldn't tell if he was mocking her, or if he was serious.
"We are guests here." Xena scolded.
"She said that." He said with an innocent face, if he had one.
"And as such we are grateful for what we get." Xena continued. "You don't go into the kitchen and boss her around."
"I'm not bossing, and I thought she would like the help in the kitchen. What are you doing?" He challenged.
"That's not the point." Xena brushed off his accusation. "It's bad manners."
"Since when do you care about manners? Besides, this could be my last meal. You wouldn't deny me that."
The statement sent warning bells off in Xena's head. Is this why he had been acting stranger than usual? Xena sighed, "Fine. It's not like we're ever coming back here anyway."
"You're going to love it. Everyone loves pizza." Nobody grinned.
Xena hadn't seen him this excited since, well, ever. And that insane plan to run through Nyfitsa's army, doesn't count. Nobody went into the small home, while Xena and Hercules tended to the horses. When they went to enter, they saw the worn table covered in an assortment of foods. Nobody and Heracles mother were working side by side as Nobody gave instructions.
Xena left the house and chose to stretch out in the shade outside. About an hour later, she smelt something delicious wafting out of the house. Her curiosity peaked; she made her way back inside. Nobody gave her an excited glance as she entered. He was standing in front of the oven with Heracles' mother, who looked equally excited. Xena looked at Heracles who had such a myriad of emotions on his face, she wasn't sure what he was feeling.
"It's done!" Nobody said excitedly.
Hercules' mother got the peel and used it to pull out a flat round bread covered in red sauce, cheese, and some meats. It was the strangest food Xena had ever seen.
Nobody deeply inhaled the aroma with a goofy grin on his face. "It's a work of art." He breathed. Nobody then directed Hercules' mother how it was to be cut. Nobody grabbed a slice, blew on it a couple of times, and bit into it. His eyes rolled into the back of his head as he chewed and moaned.
Xena grabbed a slice, followed Nobody's example, and blew on it. Once she felt it was cooled satisfactorily, she bit into it tentatively. Her eyes widened in surprise. Hercules and his mother had similar looks on their faces. It wasn't bad. She had to reluctantly admit that it was pretty good.
"Is this the type of food you eat where you're from?" Heracles asked. "No wonder you're so picky."
Nobody only mumbled something unintelligible and continued to stuff his face. He finally got out, "You really are the best cook in the land."