22nd of Hearthfire
"Remember; do not wait until the roads are impassable." I said to my mother.
"I have been known to take journeys and arrive successfully without your advice, dear." my mother said in reply as she reached up and brushed the stray hairs away from my face.
"Never fear, lady." Rafel said. "I will ensure that we make an early start, and arrive in Whiterun well before the snows set in. Your mother will be safe with me."
"You are certain I do not ask too much of you?" I asked the battle mage.
"I had it in my mind already to visit Skyrim in the near future." Rafel said as his eyes went to Jordis. "I am happy to have a traveling companion along the way."
My mother and I embraced one last time before I climbed up into my uncomfortable saddle.
"We will look for you before winter." Aric said to my mother.
"I will be back to collect you before the end of Frostfall." Rafel said.
"Now I think upon it," Aric said, "did we not leave a wagon with Ellne's father?"
"We did." I said. "We will introduce Rafel when we pass through their village. You may collect the wagon and horse before you collect my mother. I have a feeling that you will need it."
"Do you expect me to live in Skyrim for any amount of time with only the cloths on my back?" My mother asked.
"You and you daughter are of a size." Aric said as he looked my mother up and down. "The sisters of Solitude could make clothing for you in a trice."
"They do nothing in a trice." I said. "And would you cease your impertinent leering, sir. It is my mother you ogle, not some…well, I do not know what word should follow next."
"Prize?" Ensim asked.
"Work of art?" Toinen offered.
"Fine jewel?" Kolmas asked
"Gentlemen, you will give me the vapors with your compliments." My mother said, ostentatiously fanning her face.
"I was not leering, madam." Aric said. "Thanes do not leer."
It took a moment for the hoots and laughter to die down.
"And the sun does not rise every Middas." Jordis said dryly.
"Usually when a smile has been affixed to your face for so long it is for a particular reason." Lucia said as she rode up next to Aric and I, "but I believe you have a different reason to smile this morning."
It had been a wonderful interlude after the chaos of the last several days. Everyone enjoyed the opportunity to take their ease and simply rest, or quiet moments to sit together, free of armor, and talk or make small repairs to armor or equipment. Mostly free of armor, at least; Aric was not one to leave too much to chance, or the whim of the Gods.
Aric himself indulged in one of his most prized activities and showered all of our horses with extra attention; currying each with brush, and soft words, and gentle hands.
"He has a great affinity for them." my mother said once as we sat on the small porch in front of our cottage. "He seems a model of balance. The Gods have given him great beauty, and power, and also great compassion and humility."
"It is true." I said, "Though he will tell you himself that it took time, and the effort of his closest friends, to shape him into the man he is today."
"That is true of all of us." She said as her eyes moved from Aric to me, "Those of us who are fortunate to have such friends as he has."
"Were you lonely, mother?" I asked suddenly. It had never occurred to me before now that she may have been alone all these years.
"Yes, at times I was." She answered. "I lost your father much too early, and I watched you depart only a few years later. There is a particular form of pity reserved for a young widow, and a young mother whose nest is empty. You would think that it would not be so bad in a small village such as ours but, in fact, it is worse."
She stopped speaking as I placed my arm around her and rested my head on her shoulder.
"But my friends came to my aid, and pity soon gave way to simple nurturing love." She continued. "And in time I began to dream of you, so it seemed that you were not so far away."
"Do you still dream of Father?" I asked. I barely had any memories of him, and those I did have I clung to quite tightly.
"Yes, though not the sort of dreams you have of Railius." She said, "Gods, how I would cherish such dreams of your father. I can in no way explain the dreams you have with Railius, but you are very fortunate to have them."
I began to laugh, which caught her by surprise.
"Do not be surprised if he begins to visit you in your dreams as well." I said after my laughter had ebbed. "He was quite taken with you."
Now it was my mother's turn to laugh.
"He was quite attractive himself," she replied. "Attractive, at least, to a woman who prefers that sort of man."
"Do you prefer that sort of man?" I asked with a smile which bordered on leering.
Her smile, the only response she gave except for her own laughter, crossed that border by a fair mark.
"I was recalling a conversation I had with my mother." I said to Lucia in reply to her comment.
"You two really are pressed from the same mold." Lucia said. "Seen from any distance, you are twins."
"Is it wrong of me that I am jealous now that you watched my mother bathe in a pool beneath a waterfall?" I asked Aric.
"It was a dream, beloved." Aric said. "And such a dream as has some purpose other than simple fantasy. It drew your image in my mind, and upon my heart, decades before we would meet. But it is not my place to tell your heart what to feel."
"Well, then." I said. "I will replace jealousy with gratitude, though I am not sure to which Divine I should be grateful."
"The lists of suspects can number no more than nine," Lucia said. "But I believe we can narrow that list down considerably."
"A shrine to our main suspect lies on our return path," I said, "but I would avoid seeing the results of our most recent battle, if possible."
"We can stay to the west of our previous route and keep a good portion of the wood between us and the battlefield. Aric said. "We need then only travel north to arrive at the village of Lucien and Arian and inform them that Rafel will collect our wagon and horse before the end of Frostfall."
Our route did not require Ensim to be at the fore, but Aric requested it regardless.
"Rigel might appreciate the company." Aric said. "It can be quite dull to be the sole vanguard of a column."
We deviated west enough to place a screen of trees between us and the remains laying in scattered groups on the battlefield that Kurst would eventually name, and document. It was during that stretch of time that I recalled another conversation with my mother, a conversation that did not encourage me to smile.
"So, the one whose face remains hidden from me has now, at least, a name." my mother said after I recounted what occurred in the mage's guild hall in the Imperial City.
"Yes, but his face, and to where he fled, and what force he still has at his command, are yet unknown." I replied.
"But you now have powerful allies yourself." She said. "The Emperor himself leads the effort to purge this cancer from Cyrodiil, with the assistance of the fighter's guild and the mage's guild."
"I admit, it eases my mind considerably." I said. "The mage's guild master was mortified at the depth of involvement of his guild members. I expect that a similar reaction occurred when the fighter's guild master was presented with similar evidence. They both have the bit between their teeth now. They will run these cultists down without mercy."
"They should take care." My mother said, "Cornered animals fight with a will."
"Do you see something?" I asked.
"No." she said. "If I do, rest assured you will see it as well."
"You must also take care." I said to her. "Hide yourself from their sight. Be a field mouse who, sensing the hawk circling overhead, is as still and as quite as it can be."
"I will do as you suggest." She answered. "As much as it is in my power. Recall, I explained to you that some dreams call me to them. But it is only your dreams that have done so recently."
"Is it odd that my gifts diverge so far from your own?" I asked. "Aside from Railius, my dreams are completely the common variety."
"Your dreams of Railius are unique in my experience," She replied, "assuming that they are truly dreams. To answer your question, no it is not odd. The Divines form us as they will, but it seems they abhor repetition. I more resemble my grandmother in my gift. You more resemble my mother."
"Then my daughter, should I have one, will be a Dreamer." I said.
"You will certainly have a daughter." my mother answered. "But what her gift will be depends upon her father as well as you."
"You know there is only one man to whom I will ever give a child." I said as my throat tightened. "And there have been others before me who would have done so long since, were it possible."
"Do not surrender your future quite yet." My mother replied. "I see many things, near and far, but my sight does not extend quite as far as that."
"I have never understood your gift, mother." I said. "Visitors recount their dreams to you, and you interpret them, their meaning and significance. But you yourself also dream, and your dreams transport you near and far, in place and time. But you do not only observe. You gave us warning of Zedrick's approach. You observe, but you also interact."
"It is quite common, the ability to slip into a dream as it is being remembered by another." My mother answered. "It requires the gift, certainly, but it also requires the skill to bring the person to a place of peace and openness, almost a trancelike state, where they can return to their dream, and recall the smallest of details. That my own dreams can carry me hence is more rare, but very similar to the more common variety of Sight. But for the last, you are quite correct. It goes beyond True Sight, awake of asleep. I will not say it is unique. My grandmother did not possess it, but her grandmother did."
Gifts that skipped generations. Rarer gifts still that skipped three or four generations. It was difficult to keep the count clear in my mind. But, as tangled as my thoughts regarding my mother's gift were, another thought stood head and shoulders above all others.
"Did you see a daughter in my future, mother?" I asked. It required more courage to ask that one simple question than it did to step through that door in the bowels of the mage's guild hall.
She smiled as she kissed my forehead and smoothed my hair.
"Nothing is ever certain, chick." She said. "But I am firm in my belief that you and Aric are destined to be together until the Divines recall you to their bosom. And children are the natural result of such loving companionship."
She smiled at me as she massaged my shoulder.
"And these arms, which have become quite strong and hard, are yet still soft enough to hold a baby."
"You have been lost in thought for some time." Aric said some time later.
"I was thinking of my mother." I answered.
"The two of you spent almost no time apart during our visit." He said.
"We spent almost all of that time talking." I said. "I had thought I had forgotten the sound of her voice. But when she spoke it was like the music from my youth, familiar and warm."
"Her voice is much like yours." Aric said.
"Are we so much alike?" I asked shyly. "You have, after all, seen her bathing."
"It was a long while ago, and I stood some distance from the pool." He replied with a smile. "But I would say that you do very closely resemble one another."
"Then I know, at least, how I will appear in twenty years." I replied.
The smile on his face remained the same, but his eyes shined like the summer sun as he looked at me.
"I look forward to watching that process of change from a much closer distance." He answered.
It was after midday when we reached the tree line that marked the northern edge of the wood through which we traveled. Lucien and Adrian's village, and a reunion with the two young men, was only a short ride to the north. We intended to sleep within the city walls of Chorrol, but we delayed long enough to recount our adventures for the two youths, each of whom were paying particular attention to the pink spots that both Lucia and I wore on our faces. We also took the opportunity to introduce Rafel to Ellne's father and arrange for Rafel to collect the wagon in the near future.
"I wish we had more time." I said to the two youths, both of whom had shed their arms and armor. "Do not forget to write to me."
Our stop in the village home of Janus and Aia was even shorter, just long enough for me to dismount and pick up each child in turn, to accept a warm embrace of arms and legs and allow my own arms to reply in kind, as my mind recalled my mother's words.
We passed through the Priory without any thought of stopping. No one came out to greet us.
The sun was setting as we approached Chorrol, the city's stables to our right, the remains of the standing stones to our left. What would we find if we ventured there now? Scavengers would never refuse such bounty. At most, we would find rags, weapons, and bits of armor, anything that could not be consumed. I, for one, had no interest in such a sight.
Aric spoke to the stable attendant and arranged for our wagon and horse to be ready for our departure, and for all of our equipment that had remained in Chorrol to be loaded.
"We will rest a day, and resupply for the journey north." Aric had said to the man before we departed on foot for the city gate.
"And we must allow time for my sister priestesses and Kolmas extended family to prepare as well." I added.
My gaze traveled to Jordis and Rafel as we all walked towards the city gate.
We must also allow time for farewells. I thought.
"What a wonderful surprise!" Suretta said as she embraced me warmly. "I prayed nightly to Mother Cybele for your safe return."
Her tone changed slightly when she beheld the spots of new flesh and skin on my face.
"Sister, I recognize that pattern." She said. "It is quite distinctive. Lucia has similar markings on her face."
"Do not fret, sister." I said as Giselle and Maliyah appeared to offer their own embraces. "The battle that resulted in my injuries is some days in the past."
"The Emperor himself knighted her." Kolmas said with great pride. "At least, he performed the ceremony while Captain Kurst knighted her Grace."
"Sister, you will kill me with kindness of your embrace does not abate." I said to Suretta. "As for the knighthood, I would have asked to be excused, but for the Thane's devious plot that left me no choice but to accept."
Suretta's smile would have light a small city. Her reply was preempted by the arrival of Kolmas' wife Inge.
"Husband." She said in almost a whisper as her eyes grew damp.
"Wife." Kolmas replied in a soft voice, his eyes also becoming moist.
Husband and wife began to slowly reduce the distance between them.
"Perhaps we will speak in my office." Suretta said in response to the embrace and passionate kiss that husband and wife shared.
"An excellent idea." I said in response.
The hour had been late when Kolmas and I had arrived at the temple; late enough that Anja and the four children were all in bed. It was later still when my recitation of the events in the Imperial City had concluded.
"Merciful Cybele." Suretta said. "I cannot bear to think how close we came to losing you."
Giselle had begun to shake as I recounted the struggle in the bowels of the mage's guild hall. Maliyah's hands remained tightly gripped together, as they had been during the final moments of my story.
But everyone took solace in my newly acquired title, and in our success in unmasking the master mind behind this dangerous but deluded plot.
"Giselle, I love you very much, but I find I have come to reply on the use of my left hand, and your grip has rendered it quite numb." I said to my sister in Cybele.
"I am very sorry, sister." She replied as she released my afflicted limb and began to massage it back to life. "It was the only way I found to stop the shaking."
"I sympathize with you." Maliyah said to me. "I have two hands that are at the moment quite useless."
I moved along in time and recounted my visit with my mother, which went quite some way to restoring a more calm and relaxed demeanor. But the hour had grown quite late, and it was well past time that I took my leave. Kolmas would remain at the temple with his wife and greet his family in the morning.
"We will remain in Chorrol tomorrow and depart the day after." I explained to my three sister priestesses. "There is ample time for questions."
"Rafel is well, I hope?" Suretta asked.
"You should have seen me, beloved." I said to Aric as we undressed in our rented room. "I had not the slightest notion how to respond. She is very much enamored with him, I knew that long ago. But at that moment, I was like a fawn before a saber cat, aware that any misstep could be my last."
"You acquitted yourself well." Aric replied. "Chorrol is Rafel's home, whatever may develop between him and Jordis. No one can know with certainty what the future will resemble once the regular flow of life resumes."
"You believe these amorous feelings that travel through our group like wildfire are temporary?" I asked.
"It is a well-known response to situations where death is a constant threat." Aric said. "Having cheated death, we feel a strong desire towards the propagation of life. And, to my knowledge, there is but one method available for men and women to accomplish that."
"It may be as you say." I said as I climbed into bed and observed the excellent form of the man who took his place by my side. "But I have a strong feeling that Rafel and Jordis suffer from a more lasting version of this affliction. He does, after all, travel all the way to Skyrim soon, and it is not to visit with either of us."
"If you are correct then I am sorry for the pain it will cause your Suretta." Aric said. "But unrequited love is as old as love itself. She will survive, and eventually find someone who loves her in return."
"You have more than a passing familiarity with unrequited love do you not, Champion of Dibella?" I asked.
Aric's face immediately became a blank mask.
Gods, will I ever learn to keep silent? I asked myself.
Aric read my expression as quickly as I had read his. He smiled softly and took me into his arms.
"It is nothing, beloved." He said, "A brief pain only. A Champion of Dibella must have a high tolerance for such pain."
He was silent for a moment before continuing.
"It is a terrible thing, to make someone love you when you do not love them in return." He said. "I have never done so intentionally. The Champion of Dibella exists to bring love to where it is most needed. Physical love certainly, when it is appropriate, and beneficial, this you know; but also, the awakening of the emotion of love; the ability to love others, and most importantly, the ability to love oneself. Often, once those feelings of love are stirred in an individual, it is natural for that individual to project those feeling onto me. But what they feel is not love for me, it is joy; the joy of discovering something within themselves that they thought lost. It can be quite difficult for them to tell the difference at first. But they recognize it in time, when I am gone and the feeling persists. It is my duty to bring them to that point. It is also my duty to depart when the time comes."
I had never considered what it truly meant to be a Champion of Dibella.
"Such partings must be difficult, and painful." I said, "For both of you."
Aric's smile had faded as he recounted the responsibilities of his office. A shadow of his smiled began to return, as his eyes filled and overflowed.
"I would rather face these cultists in battle one-hundred times over than look upon the face of someone who has grown dear to me, knowing that I must say goodbye and, at least for a short time, break their heart." He replied.
It was now my eyes that overflowed, spilling my tears onto Aric's chest.
"I cannot seem to avoid causing you pain." I said. "Forgive me, beloved."
"There is nothing to forgive." He said as he kissed my forehead. "What most pained me was seeing you injured and motionless. I felt as if a sword had pierced my heart."
"I know the feeling well." I said as I wiped my tears from his chest and recalled his battle with the dragon when I thought I had lost him.
"It is what comes of loving something with such intensity." Aric said as he massaged my neck. "I can certainly vouch for such feelings of intense love."
"As can I." I replied as a deep sigh escaped me and I melded my form more tightly to his. "I believe I see the seed of such intensity in the faces of Rafel and Jordis. Do you see it also?"
"Yes." Aric said. "I may find some excuse to give Jordis leave during Rafel's stay. Or ask her to investigate the progress of my house in Morthal. Rafel would surely accompany her. They would have the house to themselves."
"It was my intention to introduce my mother to Idgrod the Younger." I said. "The young woman needs guidance to control her gift, and my mother is the ideal guide."
"We should ask Jarl Idgrod if her own mother possessed the gift." Aric said. "Your mother said that her gift skipped a generation. Perhaps it is true for Idgrod as well."
"The more common variety skips generations." I said. "The less common variety which my mother possesses is much less frequent, skipping multiple generations."
"Jarl Idgrod has no gift that I know of, other than wisdom and intelligence." Aric said.
"Rarer gifts still." I said, my smile forming as my lips moved softly over his skin.
"And yet, not as rare at the gift that lies beside me." He replied, as the rough, yet still soft, pads of his fingers began to stroke the skin between my shoulders, before slowly beginning their journey lower, driving thoughts of all gifts but one from my mind.