Explanations for this fic at the bottom, enjoy! Also if you are anti-Snape, please refrain from reviewing to explain me how bad Severus was. He's a grey character and I love him. In this fic I am not justifying his actions, but offering another view point and hopefully a better understanding of his choices according to my own reading of the books ? Of course it's my personal interpretation!
"SEVERUS SNAPE!" A voice he knew too well called after him as he shut the door behind him with too much strength. He inhaled deeply, trying to calm himself down.
"Open the door this instant!" Minerva screamed, pushing it opened with a movement of her wand. It made a loud "bang" as it hit the wall, and she was standing in the doorframe of Severus' private laboratory, her face twisted with anger.
"We are having this conversation, whether you like it or not! I thought I knew you – I thought you were better than this! How could you even think of doing this to that poor man."
The Potions Master breathed in and out, then turned to face his colleague. Until recently they had been… what could be called friends, even in his opinion; but right now, she was looking at him with such wrath he only wished to get away. But the way she had opened the door, the violent sound it had made – he felt anger building up in his chest, furious she would think she had any right to invade his privacy. No one had this right.
"And I," he said in a contrasting low voice, "have no desire to broach the subject with you. Go away or I will tell you things I will not regret."
Minerva moved rapidly toward him. He tensed, taking a step back.
"Have you no morals, Severus? Do you realize what you did to Remus? Do you realize because of you his social life and opportunities to find another job is ruined forever? Do you even understand what this means to him?"
Severus did not reply, watching her with calculating eyes. She looked so furious, he wondered if she would draw her wand eventually. It was Minerva, after all.
The older woman took a step back, eying him with disgust. Severus looked away.
"You had no right to do this. Absolutely no right. You ruined his life – you ruined a man's life because you were disappointed and still can't let go of your stupid grudge against him! I expected – I am no one to expect things from you, after all – but as your friend I expected so much better of you. I did not think you could behave so selfishly. I thought you had grown up!"
Her words made their way right through Severus' heart, but despite this, he did not feel any guilt. Only the unjustifiable feeling he had done what ought to be done to protect himself and the students. He had brought justice to himself.
"And you stand here, with no remorse", McGonagall continued, her voice a little quieter. "And Albus who trusts you! You did not even care of what he would think of you? Even he could not dissuade you from doing something so selfish and irresponsible? After all the trouble he went through to hire Remus. Severus, tell me you are ashamed, or that you feel guilty, even a little… You're not this sort of man."
Severus leaned against his main desk, wondering if it was the concussion that made his head hurt so much, or if Minerva's screams were starting to give him a headache. He did note have time for this. She certainly had no right to lecture him. Yes, especially her.
"You seem to be much more aware than I am of the sort of man I am supposed to be", he told her in a dangerous, low tone, as calm as he could keep it. "Perhaps you should consider minding your own business. You know nothing."
"This IS my business, Severus!" she told him, sounding bewildered. "Remus was my colleague! Before that a student of my own house! But you only thought of yourself! You've always wanted to be the DADA teacher after all, don't you? Did you think this time you would get it?"
Severus swallowed with difficulty, his throat burning with anger. So that was what she thought of him after all? That was the kind of behaviour she assumed would be his?
"You always seem to assume the worst of me, Minerva, but I suppose I should not be so surprised," he replied sternly. "Although, I am alarmed you would think I told the students about Lupin's lycanthropy without Albus being aware I would. I would not be such a fool as to betray the headmaster's trust and risk my position here."
The transfiguration teacher remained silent for a few seconds, obviously unsettled by this new piece of information. "Albus would never…"
"Are you implying I am lying to you?"
"He was the one who battled to hire Remus in the first place!"
"He was also the one to learn your precious Lupin betrayed his trust all year along, kipping information about Black for himself because he could not stand to tell the man who accepted him in this school he had betrayed his trust already. You did not think he would stay anyway? The position is cursed, I am sure you know that."
Minerva breathed out, finding it harder and harder not to just slap the man in the face.
"You ruined his life. Albus would never fathom this. If you had just put aside your petty resent against him- "
"Just because they made a fool of you at school, you won't even listen..."
But Severus could no longer remain calm. "IT IS NOT A PETTY RESENT!" he shouted, his pace turning suddenly paler. "But you all want to believe it, don't you? You and Albus and the other members of the staff. It is so much easier to think this rather than acknowledging the fact you never behaved as proper teachers back then!"
Minerva surveyed him with cold eyes, unwilling to go down this path. They had already discussed this, years ago as it was. She knew she, more than any other member of the staff, had failed to take actions against Potter, Black and Remus; but it was not the subject, and he would not keep hiding behind this. It was time he grew up.
"This has nothing to do with- "
"It has EVERYTHING to do with it, Minerva! I don't care if you think I'm a bastard. I don't care about Lupin, for all that matters. He won't be jailed – I could not care less about what happens to him beside that! Lupin is a walking danger and he should never have been allowed into this school."
"Remus never put anyone in danger and what happened was an accident, an accident, Severus! Of course his fault was serious – forgetting his potion – but do you think what you did helps anyone?"
Severus' face twisted with rage.
"Lupin nearly KILLED ME WHEN I WAS 15! AND I DON'T CARE IF IT WASN'T HIS FAULT, THE FACT IS HE SHOULD NEVER HAVE BEEN HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE!" He was out of breath, but he did not allow her to reply. He felt some kind of cruel pleasure, well-deserved pleasure as he watched the shock on his colleague's face. "You did not know, did you, Minerva? Something else your all-mighty Albus forgot to tell you? Sirius Black sent me to my death one night of full-moon in my fifth year. I saw Lupin that night! And what happened afterwards? Black wasn't expelled, of course he was not. The headmaster kept closing his eyes as his little friends sneaked out of the castle when he transformed and put all of us in danger. I was threatened with expulsion if I was to say anything, while Potter went around the school, telling everyone how he had saved my life. No one was there to protect me or any of the other students. After all, who would say anything to Gryffindor's golden boys? Surely a Slytherin could pay the price."
His hands were holding his desk's extremities with such strength they had turned white. As he shouted, Minerva suddenly was not sure if she was listening to her 33 years old colleague or to her 15-year-old student, as she could have thought the events had happened the previous day, he looked so upset and even afraid; he certainly was a living proof trauma did not just go away as years passed… And she could not believe this. She could not believe Albus could have kept - what, a near murder? By one of her own students? – from her. She had known Severus had suffered from severe bullying, though it was something she had understood far too late, but this? This could not be.
Something in her shocked expression, though, immediately calmed the Potions Master, as he realized he had not been wrong in all these years. She had not known, even later; Albus had never told her. She had played no part into this, had not agreed with the headmaster – and it was such a relief to be sure, after all this time wondering as they had gotten closer, he decided he would not blame her more.
"Lupin reneged once again his contract with Dumbledore, Minerva," Severus said in a softer tone, reading through her appalled face. "He once again put everyone in danger, just has he didn't bother telling the headmaster what his friends were up to after they tried to kill me, or tell him Black was an animagus. Thus Albus agreed he had been wrong to think keeping Lupin at the school wouldn't be risky. After all, haven't I been expressing my concerns about the school's safety for a whole year?" He seemed to be talking to himself now, desperate to justify his actions and seeking for his own approval. "But do not think I did not have a heated conversation with the headmaster as well. Because, Minerva, I have once accepted to be silenced over this matter; but I will not be again. I told him I would tell the students anyway, that I would not accept to be told my life was not worth the school reputation's – and his – one more time. I do not care in the slightest if you think I am cruel, because I would do it again."
This time, Minerva did not open her mouth, ready to listen to what he had to say. She felt he would not let her speak anyway. She had triggered something deeper than she had thought, and felt anger feeling up her mind: she did not know anything, and that was true.
"The headmaster may be a genius, Minerva, but he makes mistakes", Severus continued, looking at one of his shelves. "I do not even know if he regrets what he did at the time for my own sake; all I know for sure is that he regrets it as a bad strategic move. That day, he chose to insure Black, Lupin and Potter's trust and loyalty – and he lost mine. But in the end, I am the spy he needs to win this war. He knew he could not deny me justice yet again; more than that, he thought he would make a clever use of my well-known animosity toward Lupin while acting as if he slightly repented for his past actions. He did not have any objections to me telling the students. And only, only if he had threatened my position as a teacher here would I have kept Lupin's true nature a secret."
Finally it was said. After all these years, the Gryffindor Head of House was only starting to understand – and if anything, it made him even angrier. Severus did not care about her moral lectures, nor did he care about her opinion on the subject. She, on the other hand, tried to remain composed, looking up at him from behind her square glasses.
"Albus would never ruin someone's life for strategic purpose. "
"My memory is as good as it ever was, Severus."
The younger man laughed.
"You still cannot believe Albus would lie to you or agree to expose Lupin? – Yet he did. Do you know why? Because he may be kind and compassionate, but he also is manipulative and sometimes forgets people can understand this as well. He thinks the Dark Lord will return now that Pettigrew has escaped. We all know it is just a matter of time. He needed to make sure I was loyal to him, thinking he was giving me what I had long desired; he did not, for what I want should have taken place years ago. He also certainly thought the Slytherins and their Death-eaters parents would appreciate it and later repeat it to Him. It is perfect, after all. Me, using Dumbledore's trust to my advantage, getting rid of one of their enemy and having him lose value in Dumbledore's eyes, as well as a member of the Order."
"Albus would have- "
"Albus is as human as I am, Minerva! Yes, I strongly dislike Lupin, and I hate Black even more and have not the slightest feeling of empathy for the both of them. But do you think the headmaster is selfless? He was furious when he learnt what Lupin and his friends had been doing during their school years – it was Black who told him, the fool. Lupin betrayed his trust in such a way he could have had the school closed and Albus sent to court, his reputation and position as headmaster ruined and taken away from him. And this year Lupin did the same: he betrayed Albus' trust in an attempt to preserve himself, nearly killed three students. Do you think the headmaster was okay with this? Lupin was the one who disappointed him, not me."
Minerva observed him in silence, unsure whether he could read the shock on her face now. Was Albus Dumbledore after all a mere human, fallible as they all were?
Over the years, she had gotten better at reading Severus' feelings; they were hard to grasp, but right now she knew he was frustrated, even somewhat desperate. It wasn't even about her questioning his morals and actions; it was not about justifying them either. He looked hurt, because he could not bear to be told he could be a disappointment to the headmaster, or have betrayed his trust - he looked hurt because he could not stand the fact everyone seemed to believe Albus was capable of no harm, after what he had done to him. He was hurt, because no one had never acknowledged the seriousness of Sirius' actions. She felt she was only starting to understand why justice – well, his justice at least – was so important to the man.
"I did not know any of this, Severus, and I admit it. It was wrong – more than wrong, I understand it was traumatic and you seek justice. But blame us or the Headmaster, blame Mister Black. Remus wasn't at fault – he could not have known Sirius was intending to do this to you. You should not react to injustice by acting in a similar fashion."
"You fool, is a schoolboy grudgeworth putting an innocent man back inside Azkaban?"
Severus shook his head. He would not lose control again. The humiliation he had suffered, back in the Shrieking Shack – in front of Potter, and Black, and Lupin – it wound not happen again. Yet whenever they were involved, he lost all control. He looked at her.
"Lupin nearly killed me 15 years ago. A few days ago he could have killed Potter, Weasley and Granger, and he roamed freely into Hogsmeade and Hogwarts, just as he did when he was a student. Now I am sure he will never be employed in a school again, or anywhere else. The man proved he wasn't even able to take a damn potion. I made sure he would never hurt anyone again, and I could not care less about what you think of this."
"You seem to forget he did none of it on purpose, Severus. There were other solutions!"
Severus frowned despite himself. Why was she so adamant in defending him? Was it because he had been her student, and she felt responsible? She, too, had been aware of his situation when he was accepted at Hogwarts after all. She knew what agreements existed between him and the headmaster. He had violated them all. And now he saw how Dumbledore had tricked him – who would acknowledge, or care about Lupin's faults, when his decision to expose him appeared so cruel and selfish in contrast? Surely he would always remain a victim in most Gryffindors' eyes. But after all, it was a selfish decision and he knew it. It did not mean it was wrong.
"It amazes me how you think you are intitled to do this, Minerva," he snarled, keeping his voice a soft whisper. "Lecture me on my actions, tell me what ought to have been done. Let's make things clear. I will not tolerate any critics coming from you, and I strongly suggest you never have the audacity to talk to me the way you did this evening, ever again. You protected your students at all cost, closing your eyes on the abuse others suffered at their hands. You are no one to tell me what I ought to do. Now get out."
Minerva gave him an astonished look, taking another step back. In all these years, Severus had never spoken to her in such a way, and she supposed he was not entirely wrong. But she thought, as his friend, that she could force him to acknowledge his fault. Albus had said nothing, and she understood why now; she understood why when he had said goodbye to Remus, he had not apologized, or even mentioned Severus' behaviour. She had thought he would have talked to Severus in private, being his usual self and refusing to create a dreadful atmosphere among the staff – well, he had failed anyway.
"Questioning you own behaviour is how you truly change, Severus. You cannot hide behind Albus. You were the one who told the students – "
"And I wanted it. I desired it – I wished they would be clever enough to figure it out by themselves during the school year, but only Granger did," Severus interjected, watching the older woman never ceasing in her pacing. "Yes, I am absolutely glad the students are safe now – just as I am that Lupin finally payed the price for his foolishness and careless behaviour. You cannot even begin to imagine what it was to spend a whole year – worrying – fearing something would happen – watching him carelessly push aside his wolfbane potion, as if it were an option, at least in front of me..."
Severus' eyes wandered on the many cauldrons that stood on his working tables, and at the light fumes that were expelled from potions he had yet to finish. He remembered all the sleepless nights it had taken him, each month, to brew the damn wolfbane; the brewing process he had himself improved to make sure Lupin would never, never hurt him if it was properly taken. How could he forget something this important? How could he not know he would risk to kill even Black and Potter in the process? No, he had made the right decision.
Minerva, as furious as she was, was starting to understand. Understand he would never apologize to Lupin – understand it was, literally, a matter of life and death to him. But more importantly, he wasn't blinded by hate when he had talked to the students from his house. It was not right on the spot, it was a day after the events, a day after he had obviously had a long conversation with Albus. He knew perfectly what he was doing, and she could understand this meant justice to him. But it did not change anything to poor Remus' situation.
"I will make things clear, Minerva", he said. "I take full responsibility of my actions – I wanted Lupin to be exposed, and now he is, and I hope the headmaster will bear in mind I spent months warning him this would happen – but things would have been different if you had properly addressed the matter years ago, and did not have the foolish idea to hire a werewolf in a boarding school. Do you need someone's death to finally realize Lupin has nothing to do around unexperienced and impressionable children? Even us would not emerge unscathed from a magical fight with this creature! Obviously, no one was going to take action, so I did!" He gathered himself, taking his gaze off his vials and back on his colleague's pale face. He looked livid. "Remember that twice, while you sat comfortably in the warmth of your office, I was confronted with the werewolf, or what he could do. You should have seen the state Black was in. You know nothing of his dangerousness."
Opening her mouth to reply, Minerva hesitated. She could not help but feel it was unfair for Remus – to think the man had already went through so much in his young life, had never been able to have a job for a long period of time, not making friends, a life of eternal flight; and yet she understood her colleague, his fear and his will to get rid of something that had certainly haunted him for far too long… She reached one of the walls and leaned against it, looking up into his furious face.
"You are not going to apologize to him, then", she said sternly.
Severus clenched his fists mechanically.
"I won't", he replied, glad his voice sounded normal again, though he still spoke rapidly. He watched a she moved toward the door, briefly wondering, with a twinge of regret, if this would cost him their friendship. After all, if she was not willing to understand, he did not need her as a friend. He felt he had already wiped the slate clean to many times. And she certainly thought the same.
But, as she made it to the door, she turned back to him.
"I am still furious, Severus – but now at least I understand. And I don't even know if I am angry with you anymore, or with myself, with Albus and with the society we live in for not giving better chances to people like Remus; I still disagree with you, Severus, but I understand your motives and I am not sure I can even blame you, seeing I was not able to… to protect you the first time. But please, do not regard Remus as your enemy, if you can. For yourself at least. I have the feeling you will have to work together more than once in the future."
Severus sighed, still slightly trembling with anger. He would control himself.
"I'll consider your advice, that is all I can tell you."
"Very well", she replied, looking hesitantly at the door, then at him. "I guess Albus will understand if we have a little talk on the subject as well", she then muttered more darkly.
Severus looked surprised, but did not tell anything, watching her with undecipherable black eyes. His upper lip, though, twisted strangely.
Minerva quietly closed the door behind her.
Okay, so this is my take on the events at the end of POA. I have always thought, (and recently discussed the matter with several other people who had thought a lot on the subject, and read an interesting extract from Snape: A definitive Reading), thought Severus' decision to reveal Lupin's true nature to his students at the end of the books could not only be his own initiative. I do not believe, no matter how furious he was, that he would risk Dumbledore's anger and his position at Hogwarts by revealing this piece of information against Dumbledore's wish. So I personally think:
1-We are sure Snape and Dumbledore had the time to have a discussion before he revealed Lupin's lycanthropy to his students
2-Dumbledore had been betrayed by Lupin. He had just learned he had betrayed his trust as a student and again as a teacher, keeping away crucial piece of information from him
3-He just put in danger the whole school and Hogsmeade, and again risked the headmaster's reputation.
4-At this moment, Dumbledore understands it is just a matter of time before Voldemort will return, as Pettigrew fled. He needs to be sure of Snape's allegiance more than ever, and he may have thought allowing him to take his revenge on Lupin could be a good way to do so.
5-More canonically, we could argue they had a close relationship, and Albus may have wanted to make amends as he could, knowing it was less risky for the school to expose Lupin than simply fire him and his true nature being discovered later on. Also, when he tells the prime minister he has suffered "a severe disappointment", his gaze and words are very telling; he knows what this really means to Severus.
6-He also knew he needed Lupin as an Order member. Lupin was holding a position that is cursed and its occupants never make it to their second year. If Lupin had to resign because of the reveal of his true nature, then it would be the form taken by the curse, and he would be left unharmed for what would follow.
7-It is also a good strategic move for both Severus and Albus: Severus will be able to use it as an argument in front of the Dark Lord, showing the Slytherins how he used Dumbledore's trust to get rid of an enemy.
8-In the books, Albus "soberly" says goodbye to Lupin, and not once apologizes for Severus' behaviour. Lupin seems to be the one who disappointed him, not Snape.
9-So for me, Snape revealing that Lupin is a werewolf at the end of POA is more than just personal hatred (but, even if it is morally questionable, I understand his choice given what he just went through, and the trauma he still suffers from, as well as the fact Lupin was a real danger and he may have thought this was the only way to put people, and himself, out of harms' way given he was never listened to before). It was a decision that served multi strategic purpose for both Snape and Dumbledore. But this, he may have wished more people knew…
Also I just want point out how constantly dismissed Severus' trauma is in the books, and especially in this one where his behaviour is considered as childish, when it is understandable, even justifiable and he clearly shows signs of PTSD and goes through is trauma (and an unfair treatment) for the second time. Reminder that Sirius was at the time considered to be a mass murderer and the one who had sold Lily and James to Voldemort, and Lupin had been helping him and keeping away information from Dumbledore: it is perfectly understandable he wanted them jailed. Quick note that he did not make his own justice though, and handed them to the authorities.
I'm not anti-Lupin at all, though I feel a lot like Severus and understand his POV – but the text is mainly written through his perspective. No "illness" should prevent you from, in a given society, live a life as full as you can – obviously Remus was given no chance or opportunities by the system.