Male reader. Warning for fighting, blood, violence, injury.

Waking up like this is perfect. Relaxed and at ease. Comfortable in a nice bed. At ease after making sweet love with your boyfriend for the first time. You roll over with the expectation of lounging over your still asleep lover as your new pillow. Instead you see that he's awake.

"Good morning." Jiraiya greets you.

"Hey." You greet softly. You crane and stretch your neck as far as you can and he meets you half way for a quick kiss. "Have you been up long?"

"Nah... it hasn't felt long."

You smile. He's a cheese ball. The only reason he hasn't escaped is because his arm is under your pillow. He's too sweet to disturb your sleep just to free himself. Not that he wants to leave your side anyways.

You roll over so you are straddling his waist. The blanket falls off of you, revealing your naked body. After having sex last night you and him fell asleep in the nude. Neither you or him would have it any other way.

He smiles at you. This is a sight he won't get sick of. Tickles run along your senses as he drags his hands up your legs to your hips. Grinding yourself against his crotch and mewling for more is enough to get him hard. He's so extravagant in many ways yet when it came down to fucking he's primal.

You raise yourself up slightly by bowing. You kiss him. For a while you kiss him and have your hand reached between your legs. From there you are switching from touching you and touching him. Sometimes it's together. It's enough to have both you and him rock hard.

"No more teasing!" Jiraiya gasps.

"Then do something about it, old man."

He growls. He grabs you and is not so gentle. He flipped over so you are on the bottom and he's on top. Having been excited and still loosened up from the night before you don't need much preparation. You whine and gasp with a need as he lubes himself up. He's big and perfect for you! He has your cheeks pulled apart and the tip is already sliding in.

"Gah! Hah!" You cry out once his hips meet yours.

Jiraiya shows no mercy. He holds you by your ankles spread eagle as he thrusts hard and fast. It's enough to bring tears to your eyes. The bed is creaking with a threat of bursting apart as he pounds you. It's not long until you are crying his name over and over in pure bliss. You're so hard it hurts! But you don't want it to end.

"You act all tough, but you really are just a slut that needs to be put in your place." Jiraiya said with a chuckle. His tough expression melted into a lewd O a thrust later. "Fuck!"

"I know I am! And an old perv like you has never been so lucky!" You manage to say between gasps.

He leans down and you rest your legs on his shoulders. Now delightfully smooshed and twisted you relish in the new angle. Your lover is face to face with you. Never before has someone looked at you like this. Dark and intense with lust. Nor has anyone made you feel this amazing.

You grip his face under his jaw and on his cheeks. You hold him there as you continue to whine his name. Between panting and moaning the occasional kiss is shared. You move a hand into his hair and grip a fistful of it. A raspy moan escapes him when you pull on his hair, forcing apart a wet messy kiss. You nip his lip before leaning back. A different part of you needs seeing to. You move your other hand to your achy cock. It's desperate for attention and you know you can't handle much more. Neither can your partner.

Pain blooms in the top of your head as it hits the headboard. Jiraiya puts one hand on the top edge of it for leverage. He's fucking you hard enough to bruise. He keeps going as his face is contorted in intense pleasure. More pain comes forth as his nails scrape your skin.

Pleasure overtakes it all. Your back arches and you stammer as you cling to him. You climax and it goes all over your belly. With a groan of your name Jiraiya followed suit. He finished inside of you. Not that you mind. You are already all sticky and messy from before.

He pulls out before giving in to collapse. It's hot with him on top of you. For several moments you and him pant. Warm soft lips pepper your neck. You turn your head and demand more. He smiles before giving in.

"I am lucky." He spoke first after the cozy afterglow.

You can't look away from him. His eyes are captivating you. His lips part again. He hesitated for a moment before finally saying it.

"I think I love you."

The air left your body with a single exhale. It's like a fairytale. Nothing in your life has ever felt so right. You hold him and kiss him.

"I love you too!"

After giggling like giddy school children and uttering those special words for countless minutes, you pioneer the trail to the bathroom. Jiraiya wasn't as motivated to get clean. He flopped onto his back again with his arms spread out, complaining that you don't want to cuddle with him for longer. But you can't stand your own funk anymore.

Once the water is running warm you hop in and relish in the feeling. Ah... cleansing. You brush back your hair. The high you were on began to fade. Reality began to come into view. A pit formed in your stomach. Your head bows as you slide your hands down to stare at them.

Another opportunity slipped by. Jiraiya fell asleep before you last night. He ran his fingers down your shoulder, tracing the tattoo you have there. Then it faded and his steady hand fell heavy on your waist. His gentle snores echoed around your head. All it would have had taken was flipping over and wrapping your fingers around his throat. You could have squeezed the life out of him and finish the job you were sent out to do.

But... but you can't.

You can't do it.

They'll understand won't they? The Fushichou will understand... they're your family. Surely whatever Jiraiya did to offend them isn't worth his life. Once they know you are in love with him surely they'll drop the hit.

"Okay! Okay! I'll get clean too!" Jiraiya relented as he peeled open the curtain and joined you in the shower. He looks you over slowly. "Is something wrong? You look upset."

"I'm fine... It's nothing."

You turn around so that you are facing away from him. His larder form is looming behind you but for once it's more unsettling than comforting. His fingers trace your tattoo again. Then he leans down and kisses it. It burns with a horrible reminder. The phoenix isn't as noble as its made out to be.

It's been bugging him for a while now. This tattoo is so familiar. It's beautiful. A phoenix taking flight. The traditional style of bold brush lines and saturated colours only make it more grandiose. The tail feathers and the left wing curls around your shoulder down your arm. When he saw it last night it struck him with it's beauty but for it's strange sense of familiarity. He knows he's seen it before. He just can't exactly put his finger on it.

He can't quite remember. Where he saw this before. His mind wonders. Thinking about you. Everything about you. He moves in further to kiss your neck. His lips curl into a smile. You are indescribable in your ways. Irresistible too. Beautiful. Soft silky skin. Just the right height and a sharp personality. A man like you was made for him.

"I hated you when we first met. It's hard to believe I feel this way about you now." Jiraiya spoke softly.

You shut your eyes. His words are so sweet. But at the moment if feels like a knife being twisted into your kidney. His lips are kissing over your tattoo, it feels like candle fire being held too close to your skin. You bite your lip to keep the truth from spilling out from your mouth. Why can't it all go away? All you want is him.

"Do you remember-?"

"Yeah... Yeah I remember."

Like all good relationships, it started in a bar. Jiraiya was just passing through. Get a little drunk, buy a pretty lady a drink, maybe bone her. He was making pretty good progress with a woman at the bar top when a waiter suddenly appeared with a drink. They announced that the man in the booth bought her it.

Jiraiya wasn't so impressed. Some jerk off in a pretty suit as sitting in one of those big crescent shaped booths surrounded by women just swiped his thunder. His would be date trotted off to join the moot. Rejected and annoyed, he stormed over and did something about it. You were living his fantasy and he wasn't going to take this crap.

"It's not my fault you struck out, old man." You were smug. You leaned back into your hoard of women with a snarky smile just to gloat. "Learn a new trick or two."

"Maybe I would if someone didn't snatch all the ladies up!"

It's hard to think of good come backs when flustered. In all actuality Jiraiya found you the most pretty out of the whole group. That smirk of yours was frustrating him enough to want to grab you by your jaw and kiss you. To see you flustered and whiny for his attention is all he wanted in that moment.

Not a lot of people know he's into anything. He doesn't talk about it because it's no one's business but his own. He finds cute what he finds cute, gender hardly has anything to do with it. It's just sometimes he has a craving for women more often than anything else. But the occasional man or someone who doesn't refer to themselves as either catches his eye. At that moment he craved you the most. You stick out. From your looks to your personality.

Peeved and struck out, he left. In an ideal world he'd hop into that crowd of babes and have them fawn over him, with you getting spoiled with his hardly divided attention. Like some pretty boy like you would go for an 'old man' like him...

"I have to meet a friend." You suddenly announce.

Jiraiya half turned from his spot on the bed. He's more focused on scrunching his hair out with a towel than spinning around to fully face you.

"Like now?" He asks.

"Yeah." You reply. There's a waver in your voice that betrayed your nerves. "It'll be quick. I uh... hardly see them. We're going to get a coffee and catch up."

"Oh. Okay."

You fix your shirt, buttoning it again. You missed one the first time.

You're acting weird. For the time he's known you Jiraiya can't recall a time you were ever nervous. Not even when gambling. He smiles fondly. You got some bad boy in you that is hidden behind your youthful innocent face. He didn't hate you as much when you popped out of no where for the second time in his life and help him win a hefty sum. And your flirty behaviour only made him picture you in a more compromising position. He could hardly focus on the game whenever you leaned over on the table. He had to grip his knee to the point of hurt to avoid reaching over to give it a squeeze.

He stands and walks towards you. You look up at him with a face that said you expect something bad. He reached towards your neck. Your mouth twitches.

He adjusts your collar. It looks best when it's actually folded in the right place. Your shoulders drop with a silent sigh.

"Thanks." You say.

"Don't mention it. I figured you actually want to look nice for your friend."

You nod. Your gaze drops.

"Hey..." He pauses as he cups your cheek and raises it up. "What's up? What's bothering you?"

"Nothing. I guess I'm just bummed I have to leave your side."

"Well too much of me could be deadly."

Finally a smile cracks your face. That is much better. He leans down and pecks your lips.

"Have fun." He wishes you a fond farewell.

"Okay."

You break away from him and leave. He watches you go with arms folded across his chest. Something is poking at his gut. A feeling that something is wrong. Maybe he should follow you and find out what is bothering you. You never act this way and it's worrying him.

He throws on his clothes and hits the streets. It's not so hard to spot you in a crowd. Nor does he feel bad for doing it. It's payback. You snuck up on him. It's about time he returned the favour. But he does like that day. He considers it the start of this relationship.

Jiraiya left the small village he met the pesky pretty boy at. Only to have the little crap successfully catch him by surprise. First you take his dates! Now you're after his stable nervous system? You appeared out of no where announcing yourself by grabbing his arm. He was so absorbed in his thoughts he was completely vulnerable to surprise.

He was going to yell at you but... he still craved you. His mouth got dry and his brain could hardly form a thought when you stood in front of him, in his way. He could feel his heart hammering in his chest. It was hard to talk to you. His tongue felt like was swelling. It didn't help that you were flirting with him.

"What can I say, old man? I find you sexy." You whispered in his face.

You rubbed his shoulders and grin. It was hard to suppress a shiver when you ran your hands up to his neck and stepped closer. You tilted your head up to look at him. You parted your lips and your tongue darted out to lick over them. It did something to him. He was swooning. It took a lot to not grab you and devour you.

"And I gotta get moving to the next town. I've burned all my bridges here." You say with a charming smile. Your finger twirled a section of his hair around and around. "How about we travel together?"

"I'd rather have a pile of crap as a traveling partner than you."

It's not like he could admit he liked you. He'd lose whatever game this is. And he hates losing. But then you grabbed the back of his neck and pushed him down. Your lips touched his in a quick kiss. He flinched back in surprise. But it left its mark. It was pleasant and left him wanting more. You smiled and gilded away, knowing full well you hooked him for life.

Maybe it's about time for Jiraiya to pay you back. It's fun! Being in a relationship like this where every little moment is a thrill. It's been so long since he's been so... giddy. Jokes like this are hilarious. Being in love is fun!

He wants to surprise you, kiss you, and introduce himself to your friend. To break the ice and finally get a foot into your social circle. You hardly ever talk about your friends or family. You don't ever want to address it. He never through much of it until now. You turn away from all the shops.

Oddly enough you follow someone into an alleyway. Now his gut feeling turns more sinister.

Everything isn't okay, is it?

"The boss wants to know why it hasn't been done yet." Your 'sibling' Fi asks.

"I'm... working on it. It's just..."

"Just what? You know you won't get paid as good for waiting so long."

"I know that."

"Then what is it? Is that drunkard really so hard to kill?"

"He's not a drunkard!"

Fi sighs with exasperation. He's none too impressed with you and your unwillingness. He roughly pat your head. He always does it with the hand that has his tattoo on it. So you have no choice but to stare at the phoenix that's flying on his wrist towards you. It's starting to feel more and more bitter. The symbol that once felt liberating and filled you with belonging now feels like a scar you can't be rid of.

"Look here. You won't make it in our family if you don't have the guts to take a life. Jiraiya is the enemy. All shinobi are. So man up and finish the job."

"But..."

"No buts, little sibling. You know the penalty for failure. The Fushichou don't take charity cases. Nor do we allow weakness to stay in the family."

Your head rocks painfully to Fi's rough ruffle of your hair. It's degrading. It makes you feel the size of a pea before him. Which is intentional. You know that but it still works. You have to do what your big brother says. You have to do as the boss says.

But you don't want to. You don't have the guts to do it. How can you? The man you are supposed to kill just confessed to you this morning that he loves you. You you are pretty darn sure you love him back. What does the loyalty to your family matter anymore? Why can't they just disappear and leave you alone?

"The boss is putting a time limit on you now. You have until the end of the week to get it done. You don't want to disappoint him." Fi said.

You bow your head. There's nothing you can say. Fi walked away, leaving the way he came. You consider hitting your head on the wall ahead of you. All of these walls around you are suffocating. Any moment now it feels as if they may collapse in and crush you. It would be merciful at this moment. You feel awful... and not sure of what to do now.

Jiraiya?

Or the Fushichou?

It's a choice your heart is already making. Surely if Jiraiya really feels the way he does about you he'll understand.

"I always thought your tattoo seemed familiar."

The hair on the back of your neck stand on end. Fear completely takes you. Your throat clenched and your body refuses to move. The voice that usually calms you is now cold and guarded.

"Why are you here?" You manage to ask.

"You were acting weird. I followed you..." Jiraiya explained. He's standing at the entrance of the alleyway, blocking you in. "I thought I could meet whoever was making you so anxious and get an explanation as to why. Well... I did get that."

You work up the nerve to turn around. The man you have fallen for so hard is looking at you with a cold and calculated unfamiliarity. As if he was eyeing down an enemy.

"Jiraiya please! Don't look at me like that. I don't want to hurt you!" You plead with him.

"What makes you think I believe that? You've been lying to me from the start!" He's yelling at you. The anger he was holding back unleashed. You betrayed him. "I should've known it was all too good to be true!"

You freeze when he runs towards you. You just barely managed to dodge him. It didn't matter how much you refused to strike back. He kept coming at you, demanding you fight back. But you can't. How can you strike someone you love?

"Gah!" You cry out in pain.

Jiraiya put his forearm across your chest and pushed with all his weight. You stagger backwards and your back collides with the wall. It stole the air from your lungs. It rattled your spine all the way to your skull. Tears well in your eyes from the hit but it's not the only reason you cry.

"Please... don't you believe me?" You ask quietly.

Now close to him you can look deep into his eyes. Behind the anger there's more. Sorrow is there. So is pain. He's doing everything he can to bury it all under the rage. But he was never an angry person.

You grab his biceps. You cling to him and plead.

"I love you!" You declare. You'll say it over and over again no matter what. "I don't want to hurt you!"

Jiraiya stares at you. His eyes more conflicted than angry. It grows still and silent.

The pressure on your chest leaves as he released you. You nearly collapse as he pushed you away, peeling your hands off of him. Ice sinks into your veins.

"Jiraiya I-!"

"Get away from me."

Your heart sinks. You reach out to touch him but he pulls away. He refuses to look at you. He sprints away from you, leaping to the top of the building that's making up the far wall of the alley. You can't follow him. You don't know how to do that. He casts a look at you that you can hardly decipher from the distance he is away. All you do know is he's upset and processing all that just went down. He turns around and disappears around the peak of the roof.

A sense of loss and lost fills you. It feels empty without Jiraiya here. It's only when you return to the hotel room does despair finally hit with the force of a high speed train.

He's not here. Neither is any of his things. He left you. He's really gone. You collapse into the bed and let loose the tears. The pillow still smells like him. It's probably the last time you'll ever smell him.

After a while you sit up and sigh. You gather your things and hit the road. What else can you do? You can't run. Your siblings will find you. No one can run away from the Fushichou. And you fucked up the one good relationship you had. What else do you have in this world? The gang was the only thing you had and you failed them. Jiraiya was the only genuinely good thing you had and you screwed it all up by lying to him.

Do you think if you had just told him the truth things wouldn't be like this?

It's probably not healthy to think about it. He won't forgive you. Jiraiya made himself clear when he left. That was goodbye. Why did he spare your life? He seemed upset enough to kill you. Yet he let you go. It's so hard to live without him. Do you even want to without him?

You return home, ready to face your family. But they won't be happy to hear what you have to say. Your punishment will be severe but strangely enough you welcome it. A sense of peace began to numb you. It's a fitting end to a horrible person like you...

Jiraiya rubs his temples slowly. What a horrible awful shitty day. The one good relationship he's had in a decade and it all turned out to be a lie. You were apart of a gang out to get him this whole time. His assassin lying in wait. Hats off to you and your convincing performance. Hats off to your nasty little crime family. This is the first time anyone has used a man to seduce him... he just never saw it coming. You felt so right for him.

Why didn't you ever make your move?

There are plenty of times he can think of where all you would have to do was get the drop on him. He was never on guard around you, you never seemed dangerous. You can hardly handle a pocket knife for gods sake. He trusted you. He was stupid enough to fall in love with you. At this very moment he's aching to be near you. To hold you and bury his face into the crook of your neck where he felt safe.

But... how can he? You are a criminal. You are just... You just... You...

Your gaze is burned into his mind. The way you looked at him was scaring. The desperation. The fear. How you clung to him pleading. That's not something a faker would do. It hurt you just as much as it hurt him. Then you had to go and say you love him. It sapped away his will to fight. But he could hardly stand to be near you. He's just so angry at you for lying.

Why didn't you say something?

If you did he would be mad at you for a bit but he'd get over it. Then he would do anything he could to save you from the Fushichou. He knows enough about big gangs that you can't simply be let go. There's grudges and pacts when it comes to organizations like that. But you didn't.

You didn't say a damn thing!

"Here ya go."

Jiraiya looks up from the tabletop to the bartender. The man set down a drink in front of him.

"I didn't order anything yet." He said.

"It's from..." the bartender trailed off as he looked around the room. Finally he spots who he was looking for. "That one in the corner over there."

Jiraiya looks over his shoulder to see a somewhat familiar face. It's not you. A part of him hoped it would be. Instead it's that man you were talking to before. By how he's sitting the sage can see something else familiar. A tattoo. He already figured by the conversation he overheard that this guy was apart of the gang but this is just confirmation. It seems he's being baited.

The gang member raised his glass in a cheer. Jiraiya stood up from his chair. At this point he has no plan. He's acting on gut instinct. Right now... he's too mad to be rational.

Fi rolls out of the door into the muddy road. It's raining out now. Jiraiya follows as his target stumbled further. He crouched down in front of the now bloody bruised mess that is this overconfident little snot. People like this ought to stop picking fights with him.

"I'll tell you anything! Just let me go!" Fi pleaded.

"What happens to members that fail to do their job?"

A realization dawned on the other man. Now he gets why this is happening and why Jiraiya didn't kill him right away. He chuckles and says your name. The flare of anger and flicker of fear that followed only confirmed it.

"You're worried about him, eh? I figured after being betrayed you would forget all about him." Fi said.

"If you know what's good for you, you'll answer the question." Jiraiya threatened. He leaned in and narrowed his eyes. "Truthfully. I know how to spot a lie."

"I ain't got no reason to lie, shinobi. I'm happy to tell you this." The gang member said with a crooked smile. "They get put to death. A slow horrible death."

That flicker of fear grew into a fire. Fi laughed at him. It's an annoying gurgling cackle. To shut it up he hit Fi in the face, which knocked the annoying little man out. He stood up and looked around, uncertain. He vaguely recalls some details of the Fushichou. At least he knows what town their base is in.

He can only hope he's not too late.

It's still raining...

It hasn't stopped.

You stare at the grey sky, not caring as the rain falls into your eyes. The sting of the force from the drop hitting your eye is the least of your problems. The puddle underneath you is not just composed of water. You hardly remember what you were taught the body is made out of. All you know is that blood is red and it mixes with water. The cold is seeping into your body and no warmth replaces it. You begin to feel numb.

It's all getting blurry. You squint but nothing focuses. It seems this is the end. No one will save you. You don't deserve it either.

There's plenty you regret. The first being joining this stupid gang. Following them without question. Committing crime after crime in an attempt to be accepted by them. Lying to Jiraiya. You fell for him so hard and you lost him. That's what hurts the most. Losing the one thing that you loved and loved you back. As frantic and fast as your relationship has been with him, it felt so right. When you were with him nothing else mattered. He was all you needed.

Darkness is crawling in on the edges of your vision. The faint shadow of a person walks by the corner of your eye. You are basically in the middle of the street in front of the house where the head of the family stays. Bleeding out slowly as an example. The people here fear the Fushichou so much they won't do shit to help you. They'd get hurt too for defying the family that protects them.

You groan as you are lifted up. It put pressure on your wounds in a way that flared them up. It cut through the numbing feeling like a dull knife being pushed into your flesh at every point of contact. You can't even open your eyes anymore to see what is going on.

Perhaps one of the big brothers are here to dispose of you. Sometimes it's the river. Sometimes a ditch on the outskirts of the town. Other times it's the backyard of a relative's house. A real relative. Like parents or an aunt and uncle. But you have none of those. Out of the first two options... the river sounds quicker. It'd be easier to drown than to die even slower in the mud and decay of others who have wronged the family.

It already feels like you are under water. There's yelling and it sounds like your ears are plugged. You don't understand what's happening. Then... perhaps it's mercy by some higher being, you lose all consciousness.

Opening your eyes again, you expected it to be in murky water. A final attempt for your body to save itself before succumbing to drowning. But you are staring at branches and bright green leaves. Looking up reveals the warped forced perspective of the trunk of a tree. The smell of fire and grass greets your nose as you wake up more. It's warm. The sun and the melody of songbirds are around you.

There's a tugging on your leg. You look down. Your heart bounces around in your chest with a mix of emotions. There's anxiety. But also excitement.

Jiraiya.

He's taking care of you. He's chewing on something as he holds the end of a roll of bandages in one hand. It's half around your thigh already. You hardly could keep up with your punishment but you remember them cutting at your legs while laughing, telling you that you can't run from the family. He spits out whatever he was chewing, it's dark green with bits of white, and places it against your wound. It stings but then it melts into pain relief. He wraps up the wound tightly with the plant slathered on your cut.

"It's good to see you awake."

You freeze as he spoke. Your heart flutters again as he turns his head and looks at you. You move to sit up. Jiraiya tried to push you back down, but you resisted. Your arms shake from the strain but it's worth it. You scoot back so the trunk supports you. Or at least that was the plan. When your shoulder hit the bark a flare of searing pain greeted you. Instinctively you grab it but only hurt it more. Your mouth hangs open as you process and try to breathe through the pain.

"Try to relax. Your shoulder it's uh..." Jiraiya trails off. His hands are holding your biceps to keep you steady and careful of your injures. He takes a moment to contemplate the right word. "Raw."

"It... hurts." You manage to choke out.

With a quivering hand you slowly release your shoulder and move your arm down. A couple of blotches of blood is on your palm and fingers. It's pain you haven't really experienced before. But more importantly... you look up. To his face. Oh how badly you missed it.

"I'm sorry!" You blurt out.

His eyes widen and he opens his mouth but you stop him with a sudden tug. He let you go in favour of grabbing the tree trunk so he didn't crush you with his weight. You had grabbed him in a clumsy hug. It hurts but you don't care. You bury your face into his shoulder and tears find their way out of you.

"I never wanted to hurt you! B-But I was so scared to tell you!..." You sob into his shoulder.

"I know, I know." He soothes you as he rubs your back.

"..." You sniffle. You gather your thoughts and you realize something. "You... came back for me..."

"Yeah... maybe I'm getting sentimental in my old age."

You smile and you know he can tell. That's your favourite joke to tease him with. His cheek rests against your head. He relaxes and managed to find a place for his other arm to sit without hurting you.

"I have never felt this way about someone before... and I knew I couldn't live with myself if I lost you." Jiraiya drops his voice to a gentle whisper. He adjusts his head and his body moves with a deep sigh. "I'm sorry I lashed out. I was... a dick."

"No you aren't." You murmur. You adjust your head so that you are facing his neck, tucked right into that nook of his body. Where he's warm and his pulse can be felt. "Your boyfriend was plotting to kill you. I'd get mad too."

He chuckles ever so softly. To your disappointment he moves back so you can't be snuggled up into him. You lock eyes with him. His dark eyes have that gentle quality to them. Nurturing and kind... although he'd probably pout and flick your forehead if you dare called him that. Especially as he runs his thumbs under your eyes to banish your tears. He's a loving man, he just hates to hear it.

His hand stays on your face. With his thumb caressing your cheek. The soft smile fades on his lips. It does on yours too. You search his eyes and hold fistfuls of his clothing at his shoulders. Your lips part and eyes fall shut as he goes in.

It feels different somehow. You've kissed Jiraiya plenty of times but this wasn't like that. It's almost fairytale like. You half expect for swelling music and singing animals to serenade the scene as two lovers reunite. The lack of fanfare is just as good. The simple but meaningful message the kiss portrays is strong enough to not need anything else.

"I love you, old man." You say with a smile.

"I love you too, criminal."

Both you and him chuckle. You ignore the pain and wrap your arms around him tighter. He does the same, sinking down half on top of you with his arms cradled around your lower back. For some time you and him enjoy the simplicity of being with one another. In the peaceful forest full of song birds and the rustling of leaves it's healing in its own way. The crackle and pop of the small fire he made is great too. It's warming up your toes. If only time could stop flowing for a day or two... just so you can stay like this for longer.

Alas life has to continue on and so do you. Jiraiya insisted on moving on. You were too out of it to know the details so he filled you in, the Fushichou know you are alive. They caught him in the middle of scraping your sorry ass off the road as they were coming out to finish the job. He got in a scuffle with them while you were on his back. He won, his goal being to escape with you and not win a ten against one match. He wants to keep the head start he got on them.

It was harder than it sounded. Your thigh is burning and throbbing with each step. You got a prominent limp now from the injury. And you ain't used to walking through the thick of a forest. With roots and lopsided ground. You've tripped and fallen plenty of times. Meanwhile your partner is a graceful deer. He's not making a noise on the forest floor despite the foliage. He rolls his eyes and tuts his tongue. He picked you up yet again and decided it would be quicker to carry you there on his back. City kids like you are so out of element in the world's most common area. It's both amusing but a little sad. When you recover he's going to have to show you how to navigate the forest floor like a pro.

"Where exactly are we going?" You ask.

"Somewhere safe. We're going to lie low for awhile until the Fushichou calm down."

You don't have to ask where that is. Jiraiya has often spoke fondly of his birthplace. He calls it safe, as any ninja village is. There's defences put up that keep outsiders tagged and watched. He told you that once he gets a few things sorted out, you'll be a citizen. Just being with him speaks highly of you already. It's more of a matter of proving you are worthy of that stature and trust. Your past will come into play... but hopefully they like you enough to consider giving you the second chance you need.

Part way through the day, Jiraiya came to a stop at a river. It was sudden. Your heart and stomach felt like it was back in the canopy of the last tree he hopped from when he decided to simply fall from it. He landed on his feet without even flinching from the impact and walked to the waters edge. Shinobi really are a different breed.

"Let's take a look at those injuries." He announced as he set you down.

Your feet dip into the water. You hold onto him for stability as he unbuttoned your shirt. You wince when he moves it down your back. The fabric clung to your injured shoulder and felt as if it was fused to it. You thought it ended there but he surprised you when he grabbed your pants and pulled them down. You nearly fell in the water as you got too flustered to hold a good balance.

"This seems like some odd circumstances to get nude for." You comment as he began to take his pants off. It just ain't sexy. You figured your oh so loving nurse was just going to use the water to wash off the plants he stuck on your wounds not get naked.

"I don't want to get my clothes wet." He replied. He pulled them off and threw them ashore. He did the same for his top layers. The only thing he kept on was his underwear.

He grabbed your hips and guided you to sit on a rock that was just protruding from the water. It was smooth and round from years of being worn by water. You tried to argue you could sit your own self down but the stiffness in your leg proved you wrong. You crinkle your nose and clench your jaw. Your leg is quite sore. He unravels the bandages and the cool air hit your wound. It tingles as he cups water and pours it over your wound.

The sensation ain't so bad once you get used to the chilly water. He leaves your side for a moment to trot back to the trees. You watch as he looks around for something before seemingly getting exactly what he's looking for. He pulls something from the ground and returns to you.

It's another plant. With a thin green stem, spiny looking leaves, and a cluster of tiny white flowers on the top. Jiraiya dunks it in the water before picking the leaves. He rolls it between his palms until it's wilted and the juices from it are at the surface.

"It's not exactly the best medicine, but it will do until we get to the village." He says.

"What is it?"

"Yarrow. It'll keep your wounds covered and lessen the chance for infection."

He placed some of the leaves against your cut. It stung but it's not unbearable. They say good medicine hurts. You lean back as you relax. An amused smile grows on your face.

"And where did you learn about medicinal plants? You don't seem the type."

"One does what they can when in war."

"Right..."

Sometimes you forget that Jiraiya has seen a lot of things in his life. And that the life he's walked is so different from yours. Sometimes it's hard to imagine that he's fought in wars. And that you barely saw any of it. In your city, it was under lock down during the last war. Since no shinobi reside in your town it made it an easy target for raiding and exploitation. It's how the Fushichou rose to power. They warded off greedy ninja sent by their land hungry masters and protected the people from the pains that could come with it. But it came at the hefty price of total cooperation and freedoms being taken from the people. The only way someone could make it as somebody was to join the gang. To hold some power and gain some freedom was all you wanted.

Maybe you did find that. You just didn't expect to find it in someone. You clutched at your knees as Jiraiya tends to your shoulder. You stare at the water as he works. Soon a faint trail of red joins the stream as your old blood gets washed off. Some of it looks fresh. Not that surprising since it hurt like hell when he pulled the dressings off. By the red patch on the back of your shirt, it's still bleeding in some places.

"What happened to it?" You whisper.

He stops for a moment. His hand having a feather light pressure on the centre of your wound. He was placing one of the leaves on it. It tingles in a way that feels like needles are being pricked deep into your nerves.

They say the phoenix rises from the ashes when it dies. But in this case... Jiraiya stares at the area that once held your tattoo. The official mark of being part of the family. He did his best but he's not a surgeon.

When he finally found a safe spot to stop and treat your wounds he was horrified by what he found. You were filleted. Someone took a knife or a sword to your shoulder and literally skinned you. He was met with a gaping wound, bleeding and with the nauseous image of your flesh bare and open to the world. He did what he could to sew you together. Actually... when he tilts his head it does kinda look like a bird. With the two long stitched seams across your arm then shoulder blade and the little notch he had to make in the middle of it to catch what skin he could, it does still look like a bird. Like how a child draws a bird silhouette in a simple v shape.

"Someone... cut off your tattoo." He explained in the most simple of terms.

"Cut it off?"

"Cut it off."

You don't say anything. You are missing a lot of skin. No wonder it hurts so much. Your loving boyfriend kisses the back of your neck, taking care to avoid your injury. He wraps his arms around you from behind.

"Don't worry about it, babe. I like a man with some scars." He does his best to comfort you.

It works. You turn your head towards him and rest your lips against his cheek. It's not quite a kiss. It's more like a cuddle. You don't need a whole shoulder anyways. It's overrated.

Jiraiya finished up treating you and helped you get dressed again. He dresses himself with some interference from you. You haven't quite figured out the nice box knot he always ties his sash in but you try. When you beam a smile at him he rolls his eyes before kissing you. You take a wobbly step to continue this journey but he picked you up.

"I'm not that slow, am I?" You ask.

"Not while on a road."

You tut your tongue and roll your eyes. Yeah you ain't no Boy Scout but you aren't that slow in the forest. He breaks into a run. You look down to watch as his feet stay above water. It's so abnormally normal. Some of your... old acquaintances said they would teach you one day but you won't ever meet them again under friendly circumstances.

Maybe one day you can make Jiraiya teach you a thing or two. It would be nice to be able to keep up with him. You shut your eyes as he launches himself back into the canopy of the trees on the other side of the river. It's still giving you a wave of vertigo from the sensation of both flying and falling take hold. You shift and rest your head on his shoulder. It ain't so bad to be bridal carried away by your big strong boyfriend. At least the breeze is nice. Perhaps one day you can do this with him.

At some point Jiraiya figured it was safe enough to go on the main road. He exited the woods onto the dirt road. With a grunt he lets you go as you wriggle for freedom. It's nice to be on solid ground again. You stretch the best you can with a hurt leg and shoulder. Which probably looked more like you were contorting in pain but it felt really good.

"Come on, we're almost there."

He grabs your hand while frowning at you. You frown back at him. He always gets impatient when in the last stretch. When you travelled with him between towns he'd always have this burst of energy and push to cross the finish line. Almost like how a kid gets excited about going somewhere but whines and gets grumpy when the adults dilly dally about getting there.

Even if so close to Konoha, Jiraiya didn't want to waste time. Being out in the open is always unsettling when the person he loves is in danger. You don't seem to feel it. You walk with him calm and relaxed, trying to enjoy the scenery around you. You nearly died. The people you trusted were about to kill you. Who knows the lengths they'll go to hunt you down? They tortured you just for failing. Without a doubt they will no mercy on a deserter.

The heaviest of weights suddenly formed in the pit of his stomach. In a way it's his fault. He broke up with you and left you to face a group of criminals alone. If he didn't realize what an idiot he was and went looking for you then...

"Hey, why so down all of a sudden?" You ask.

"Hm?" He hums as he tunes back into the present. You are looking at him with a curious tilt of your head and a concerned smile. "Oh... nothing. Just thinking."

"Don't think too hard, old man. You might hurt yourself."

You were nearly swept off your feet when Jiraiya suddenly let go of your hand and hooked your waist. He pulled you against him. Your heart rate picks up. Heat rises to your cheeks. This time his kind eyes are much more dark and sultry.

"Is that any way to speak to your saviour?" He asks. His hand moves down and cups your ass.

"I only do it because you love it." You answer. You grip the folds of his shirt and rise up on your toes to kiss him.

One more kiss and he breaks away. He grabs your hand again and leads you away. You happily go along with him. It's not long until you see the famous gate of the Hidden Leaf. Grand and inviting, yet also intimidating.

It's been a long couple of days. Finally being around people again was nice, but you still rather just have the company of one man. Jiraiya feels much of the same. He calls himself a hermit for a reason. After traveling for so long the last thing he wants to do is talk to people. And while he's worried about your injuries, it wouldn't hurt to wait a day would it? You look exhausted but haven't complained. You deserve a day of rest.

"So where does the famous Jiraiya shack up when he's in town?" You ask.

"I got a place." He answers with a smirk. "I even have a maintenance guy to keep it up to shape when I'm gone."

"Oh? How fancy!"

He chuckles. The final stage of the day's journey ends with him leading you to the little apartment he owns. It basically only has a bed and bathroom. You collapse with him in the bed. Shoes get kicked off. Pants get removed. You smile as he rolls over top of you. His hand caresses your ass and guides your leg to rest against his. His other hand snakes under your back.

You place your arms around his neck and only have to wait a moment or two. He leans down and his lips meet yours. It's been some time since you and him have gotten privacy like this. Being able to kiss and touch him again like this is indescribably wonderful.

Well... it's not the best idea, but you and Jiraiya have some lost time to make up for. It'll be worth the aches and pains later. Right now it's about celebrating. Celebrating being together. Celebrating the first steps of freedom. Celebrating a new life.

Whatever comes next can be handled together. For the first time everything feels like it's going to be okay for the long term. The future is bright so long as you have Jiraiya and he has you!