On the Mountain
A/N: So, as you all know, sometimes I find inspiration in the strangest of places. The inspiration for this short story came from the amazing Robin Wright movie Land. I wrote this in four hours tonight. Please forgive any typos etc. I'm knackered!
Alex Danvers was on the verge of death. She finally understood what being alone really meant and, as she lay on the cold floor of her Colorado cabin and prayed to God that it would all end soon, she finally understood how all her textbooks said that starving and freezing to death were not easy ways to die. And here she was doing both. She should have just pulled the damn trigger and be done with it. Part of her wanted to laugh hysterically. Part of her wanted to cry a river. But the biggest part of her was glad that the pain would finally be over.
And then a loud knock sounded at the door.
Alex could barely move but she managed to raise her head enough to see the door being shoved open and a pair of snow-covered boots shuffling toward her. She heard a small gasp and then warm hands were rolling her onto her back, gently raising her eyelids and pressing against her neck.
"Just... let… me… die," she managed to croak out.
"Not a chance," the intruder replied and then Alex was lifted into strong arms and cradled against a most definitely feminine chest. "No way I'm letting you freeze to death, Lady."
The woman carried Alex to her bed and laid her down gently, then covered her with every blanket she could find in the tiny cabin. "Please… I want to die."
"Shhhh… just relax and let me take care of you. When was the last time you ate?"
Alex couldn't remember. She'd run out of food two weeks previously and her hunting and trapping skills were minimal… book learned… and useless. "Weeks…" she tried to get out.
"Are you trying to tell me that it's been more than a week since you've properly eaten?"
Alex managed to open her eyes and, as her vision started to clear, she gazed into the bluest eyes she'd ever seen. "W-wolves," she stammered.
The other woman sighed. "Let me get a fire started and I'll make you some broth. Your stomach won't be able to take more than that." She straightened and turned to move away but Alex licked her lips and raised her eyes.
"Who… who…"
The woman smiled gently. "Who am I?" At Alex's barely visible nod, her smile broadened. "My name's Kara. Kara Zorel. And you are?"
The brunette licked her lips again. "A-Alex," she replied and then her vision blurred again as she fell into unconsciousness.
Xx
The next time properly Alex woke, she was surprised to find a cheery fire lit in her tiny fireplace and the smell of something bubbling over it made her stomach lurch. She had also been moved. Her bed was now by the fire and, she was feeling so much warmer than she had. But she was alive, why was she alive?
"Oh hey, you're awake," a voice sounded out.
Alex was shaking and she pulled the blanket closer to her chest. "Who… who are you?"
"It's me… Kara," the other voice replied. "We met three days ago, remember?" A pair of blue eyes set into a beautiful face topped with a black beanie appeared above her as a woman Alex barely remembered, kneeled next to the bed. She had blurry memories of someone taking care of her; coaxing her to eat some broth; talking to her… telling stories. But it was all so hazy… so fucking hazy. Alex suddenly felt like she was going to throw up.
"Why the fuck did you save me?" she demanded, voice weak and scratchy. "Why didn't you just let me die like I asked you to. I just wanted to die."
There was quiet for a long moment and then a gentle hand caressed her face. "Alex, I couldn't just walk away and let you die. That's not who I am."
The older woman closed her eyes and then rolled onto her side away from those caring blue eyes. "Fuck you."
Xx
"Minimal frost bite," Kara was saying. Her voice was low, and Alex could only hear a word or two now and again as the blonde paced back and forth outside on the small porch. She stopped right outside the door then and the brunette strained to hear her. "I have no idea how she survived. She was within minutes of death when I found her."
Alex laughed bitterly from her bed. Minutes. If only Kara Zorel had left her alone, this pain would all be over. When Kara had finished on the phone and re-entered the cabin, she turned onto her side again to glare at the log wall. She didn't want to see that face and those blue eyes. She was too angry. "Fuck you!" she yelled then. She grabbed the nearest thing she could reach and threw it with surprising strength right at Kara's head. "FUCK YOU!"
But Kara just caught the log and set it on the table. Then she went to Alex's bedside and knelt. "Hey," she said soothingly. "You shouldn't overexert yourself, ok? You're only starting to get your strength back."
Alex couldn't believe it. Nothing seemed to faze this woman. "I just threw a log at your head and you're telling me to not overexert myself? Can you not take a FUCKING hint? GET OUT!"
Kara sighed softly but she nodded and got up. "My conscience is clear, Alex," she said. "What you decide to do from now on is up to you." She went to the table and moved the log back to its place by the fire. Then she slipped into her jacket and grabbed her backpack and keys. "I left some supplies in the cupboard. Goodbye, Alex."
A few moments later, the brunette heard an engine starting and then the crunch of tires rolling over hard snow.
And then it was silent.
For two more days, Alex just stayed in bed but, on day three, her hunger finally annoyed her enough to prod her out from her warm nest and go look at what the annoying blonde had left her.
Cans of soup and beans and pasta and… ramen noodles. Alex couldn't help but laugh as she was instantly transported back to her first year of medical school. How fucking ironic. But she opened a pack, sprinkled on the flavoring and poured water over it. Then she set the pot over the fire to boil.
She got up and stretched out her back. Her pants were too big, a testament to how little she'd been eating, and she was just hiking them up when she almost screamed in fright. There was a face gazing in the window at her. A face with blue eyes and blonde hair.
Alex stormed over to the door and yanked it open. "Why are you lurking at my window? You scared the crap outta me!"
Kara took the lack of expletives as a win. "Just checking in. I didn't mean to disturb you."
The brunette nodded, surprisingly unsurprised. "I didn't hear your truck," she said, rubbing her hands together nervously.
"I was hunting actually," Kara shrugged. "I hiked over from where I parked."
Alex realized that the blonde had a rifle slung over her shoulder. "You hunt?"
Kara chuckled softly. "Of course." She looked down then and cleared her throat. "I know you don't want to see me but…" She turned slightly to pick up a bag and offer it tentatively to the older woman. "I had some deer meat left over so I thought you might… um." She trailed off as Alex eyes lost some of their annoyance.
"You… you came here to bring me venison?"
The blonde chuckled again and looked away, scratching the back of her neck. "If you want to get all fancy about it," she muttered.
"You brought me venison after I threw a log at your head and yelled at you?" Alex shook her head incredulously. "Who ARE you, Kara?"
Kara shrugged and looked down, a little grin stretching her lips. "Just a friend who wants to help."
"In exchange for what?" Alex asked, suspiciously. "Wait, is this a booty call, Kara Zorel?"
Blue eyes lifted and the younger woman blushed profusely. "What? No! No, of course not! I mean…" She suddenly back peddled, afraid she'd offended the brunette who was now glaring at her with hands on hips and eyebrows raised. "You're gorgeous and all and it'd be my honor… I mean…" She swallowed and looked down again. "Fuck. Sorry. No, this isn't a booty call."
Deep down, a tiniest sliver of Alex thought that Kara was actually adorable but she was too angry at her to let that really register. However, since the blonde had hiked all the way over… She held her hand out imperiously. "Thank you for bringing me meat, Kara." She took the bag from the still sheepish hunter and then turned and went back inside, shutting the door firmly behind her.
"I knew you'd warm up to me!" Kara teased through the door, then set her beanie back on her head and trudged away.
"I HAVE NOT!" Alex yelled back… but she couldn't help the little grin that quirked her lips.
Xx
It was a week before the blonde hunter made another appearance. The snow was beginning to melt, and Alex was out of firewood. She was out by the chopping stump, axe in hand as she tried to chop some logs into manageable pieces. Kara watched from a bit away, chuckling softly as the brunette tried and tried and finally yelled her frustration, flinging the axe onto the ground.
"I can help if you like?" she said as she strolled down the hill. "It's an acquired skill."
Alex whirled in surprise. "You're back," she said. Then winced internally. Well, she's not a ghost, Idiot!
"Well, I'm sure not a ghost," Kara replied with a little grin. She held out her hand as Alex bent to pick the axe up. "Really, I can show you how to do it."
The brunette sighed and shook her head ruefully. "It looks so much easier on TV."
Kara slipped out of her jacket and rolled up her sleeves. "See," she began. "It's all in the swing. Keep your shoulders loose and always keep your eyes on the point you want to hit. And always follow through."
"Like golf," Alex deadpanned. "Or baseball. Sounds simple enough."
The blonde looked at her with raised eyebrows as she pulled her long blonde hair up into a ponytail. "I can always just let you figure it out yourself, you know." But there was no malice in her tone. Alex lifted her hands in surrender and watched carefully as Kara swung the axe, giving out pointers as easily as she did smiles, but as she moved on to slicing neatly through the logs, Kara realized that Alex wasn't looking at the logs anymore, but rather right at her. She paused a moment. "Is everything ok?"
Alex shook her head. "No," she whispered and then turned to flee into the cabin, slamming the door behind her.
Kara sighed and leaned on the axe for a long moment, not sure what had happened. Then she shrugged and went back to chopping. It took an hour, but she finally had enough chopped to keep Alex in fires for about a week, so she spent a few minutes stacking the wood on the porch before getting back into her jacket and strolling back to her truck. But as she was passing the cabin's side window, which was slightly ajar, she heard hitching sobs and it made her stop and lean her hand against the log wall. Alex was on the other side of it, and she wanted nothing more than to go in and give her a hug.
But it was none of her business so, with a final clench of her hand against the wood she pushed off it and went back to her truck to head home.
Xx
Alex hated Kara. She didn't want her around. It was too hard to be around her. It was too hard to feel it. She couldn't feel it.
"I'm supposed to be dead, God damnit!" she screamed out into the stillness of the mountain. Then sun was setting, and she dropped to her knees on the cold porch floor, wrapping her arms around herself and rocking slowly as the sounds of owls hooting and crickets singing invaded her senses. "Why am I not dead?" she moaned.
She stayed there for a long time, her mind flashing back two years. Standing at the bar with her wife, laughing and joking. They'd talked about having a baby. They'd finally saved enough for artificial insemination. They'd picked a doner. They were ready. And then…
Alex slowly got to her feet and pushed her dark hair back behind her ears, tears drying on her cheeks. At the stack of wood standing on the porch, she closed her eyes and sighed at the image of those strong arms and shoulders swinging the axe… how Kara's muscles moved under her lightly tanned skin and how the light sheen of sweat in the dip of her cleavage made Alex want to…
"No, stop it," she admonished herself.
"Maybe you're being too hard on yourself." Kara stepped into the light streaming out through the cabin's open door. She had obviously showered and changed, and her usual black beanie had been replaced by a brown cattleman hat that was tipped back a little as she looked up at Alex on the porch.
"You're like a bad penny," the brunette sighed but she turned and took a seat in the chair standing near the door, rubbing her hands slowly over her face. "I didn't think I'd see you again after the way I treated you today. I'm sorry."
Kara climbed the three steps of the porch, her boots scuffing gently on the wooden boards. "I've been told I don't know when to leave things alone."
"I like your hat," Alex offered tentatively. A peace offering.
The blonde smiled. "It was my Dad's. It's one of the few things I have of his."
"Did he pass away?"
"Mom too." Kara nodded as she leaned on the porch railing, looking out over the valley below. Everything was lit hauntingly by the moon and it was a view she'd never tire of. "When I was thirteen. An accident." The expected platitudes never came, and she turned slowly to find Alex standing near her, also gazing out over the valley. "Why…" she began but then stopped and looked down.
"Why am I here," Alex finished for her, her tone flat.
"No," Kara replied, her voice very soft. "Why do you want to die?"
"I don't deserve to live," the brunette said, eyes far away.
"That's not why," the blonde prompted, turning a little more.
"You wouldn't understand."
"Why? Because I'm just a mountain girl? The city is not the be-all-end-all of things, you know." For the first time, Alex heard a note of annoyance in the blonde's tone, and it made her chuckle. Kara's eyes narrowed. "You're laughing at me."
And Alex suddenly felt sorry. She reached out, laying a gentle hand on her friend's forearm. "No… no, Kara, I'm not laughing at you. I'm just amazed by the fact that, after all the yelling and swearing and throwing things at you, it's THAT that's made you mad."
Kara had never seen Alex's brown eyes soft, and it made her suck in a breath in reflex. "Sorry, I'm just… a little sensitive about that. I went to Harvard Business School and had a high-paying job, but I made a choice to come back here. I'm not just some country bumpkin."
"What did you do for a job? Alex asked curiously.
"I was a fund accountant in New York. I worked at a couple of big Manhattan firms but… I realized that I was miserable, so I came home."
I'm a doctor," Alex admitted quietly. "But I chose to leave everything behind to come here too."
"Why?" Kara asked quietly, keeping their eye contact.
"I lost… someone… and I can never forgive myself."
The blonde took a step closer, drawn to the pain and anguish in her friend's eyes. "Who did you lose?"
"M-my wife," Alex whispered. "I lost everything when I lost her." Kara just nodded and Alex was grateful that she too had forgone the platitudes. "Being around people is too hard. Everyone just wanted me to talk about it so that I would be ok. But I don't think I'll ever be ok again." She started to cry heavily, grief crushing down on her. The blonde made no move to hug her but after a moment, Alex's hands found her hips and she leaned against the taller woman, pressing her face into her shoulder. Kara simply rested her head on Alex's and waited quietly.
"I'm sorry," the brunette hiccupped as she eased back after a while. "I got your shirt wet."
"No problem," Kara shrugged.
"You're the most laid-back person I've ever met, you know that?"
"Didn't used to be," the blonde replied with a little chuckle as she leaned back on the railing again. "The mountains have a way of calming you down."
Alex nodded quietly as they just stood together in companionable silence for a few minutes. Then she cleared her throat. "I haven't eaten yet. Would you stay for dinner?"
Kara's face eased into a broad smile. "I knew I was growing on you. It's the hat, right?"
"ARE NOT!" Alex exclaimed, but then caressed her friend's back and led her into the cabin, closing the door behind them.
Xx
"It would help if you kept your eyes open," Kara pointed out with a little chuckle as Alex missed her third shot. They were crouched behind some thick foliage, downwind from a family of deer.
"Fuck," the brunette sighed. "I'm sorry. I just…" She shook her head.
"Your first kill is always the hardest," the blonde said softly. "Remember to breathe and then hold your breath just before you take the shot. For us, hunting is not sport. It's survival. You'll need to dry half of each kill you make to store for winter."
"Winter's ten months away," Alex said, confused.
Kara nodded. "That may be… but start now. Chop wood, hunt, trap and save at least half for winter. Fish during the summer and live on that and anything you can grow. That'll all go away once the temperature plunges."
The brunette understood and she began to plan her next move in her head. But then something occurred to her. "Kara, where do you live?"
"About five miles east," Kara replied as she scanned the forest for another deer. "There," she said quietly, holding out her arm to point. "See it?"
It took Alex a moment but then she nodded. "Yeah." She raised Kara's rifle and sighted the deer.
"Breathe," the younger woman said softly. "Now, hold your breath and squeeze the trigger." The rifle went off and the blonde's face eased into a brilliant smile. She caressed Alex's thigh and then patted it. "Great job."
Tears welled in Alex's eyes and she wiped them away impatiently, hoping her friend hadn't seen them. No such luck. "Shit."
"Hey…" Kara's face was serious. "Never regret having compassion, Alex. You're a doctor. You're made that way." They got up then and moved to their kill. Kara showed Alex how to field dress the deer and then helped her drag it back to the cabin, where they hung it and Kara skinned it and chunked its meat.
"Thanks, Kara," Alex said as they sat together on the porch steps and watched the sun go down. "I learned a lot today." She looked down and played with the laces of her boot. "I always learn a lot from you."
"I'm definitely growing on you," the blonde teased, but this time, Alex just nodded.
"Yeah… yeah, you are."
Kara got up then. "I've got to get going. I'm meeting an old friend in town for a beer." She paused a moment. "I'd invite you to come but…"
"Not good around people," Alex confirmed with a nod. "Have fun." She got up too and with a tense nod, went inside and shut the door.
Kara chuckled softly and shook her head before heading for her truck.
Xx
Alex was lying in bed, gazing sightlessly at the ceiling. It had been a year since she'd moved to the cabin and she was more proficient in survival than she thought she'd ever be. Thanks to Kara.
Her thoughts went to her friend, wondering who she was meeting. She'd said old friend but, did that mean an old girlfriend… or boyfriend… or… was she kissing someone right then or… was she having sex.
Alex's eyes closed and she covered her face with her hands. "Stop," she told herself. "Kara's personal life is none of your business." She rolled onto her side and tried to fall asleep, but she couldn't get those gorgeous blue eyes out of her mind. She couldn't forget the strength of the body that had pressed against her that night on the porch. She couldn't forget the ripple of biceps and abs under a sweat dampened tank top.
Alex rolled back onto her back and her hand crept between her own thighs as she imagined it was HER lips Kara was kissing. She was wet already and, by the time her fantasy had come around to Kara actually touching her intimately, she was coming around her own fingers, desperately cries rushing out in time with her stuttering hips.
Then the tears came, and Alex realized that, for the first time in a very long time…
She almost maybe didn't want to die.
Xx
"Uh… what is that?" Alex asked as her friend hopped out of her truck and sidled up to where she was standing, hanging laundry on a rope line.
"It's a coffee machine," Kara deadpanned.
The brunette rolled her eyes. "Smart ass."
"Ok… it's a jukebox," Kara said just as seriously.
"Kara!"
"Ok! Ok!" the younger woman laughed. "It's a solar generator. I picked one up at Home Depot for myself and thought you might use one here. It's not a huge battery but, it would be cool if you actually did want a coffee machine or juke box."
Alex eyebrows lifted. "Not very rugged, Mountain Girl."
"Fuck, Alex," Kara laughed again. "We may be the solitary, frontier types but it's still the twenty-first freakin' century."
"No, thank you. I don't want it," the brunette said. She turned and walked away. Kara set the generator back into the bed of her truck and jogged to catch up with her friend.
"Alex, can you please tell me why you don't want to connect with the outside world anymore?"
"I told you before," Alex replied. "I can't be around people. I don't want to hear news or anything else from the outside world. If I don't have electricity, I can't be tempted to listen to the news or the fucking top ten charts." She turned away again but Kara grabbed her hand and pulled her back.
"Why?"
"Will you stop asking me that!" the older woman said venomously.
"I'll stop asking when you start telling," Kara countered.
"I don't want to. It's none of your fucking business, Kara!"
"Alex, let down your prickly-as-shit walls for just a minute and maybe you'll feel better!"
"KARA!" Alex yelled, temper snapping. "I KILLED MY WIFE AND UNBORN TWINS. I'M NEVER GOING TO FEEL BETTER!"
Her voice echoed around the stillness of the valley as blue eyes gentled, and the blonde took a step closer to her. "How did they die?"
Alex was shaking, her hands fisted at her sides. "I… c-can't… I…"
"Yes, you can. How did they die?"
"It was a c-car accident… I was d-driving… it was wet, and the road was slick, and… and… we were t-boned by someone who ran a stop sign at seventy miles an hour. It was on my wife's side. I… she… it was…" Alex was breathing hard, her nails digging into palms of her hands. "I couldn't stop the bleeding. There was sooo much blood. My w-wife… she was… I couldn't… I tried so hard… I couldn't save her!" And then she was in Kara's arms, hands clenched into her shirt. "I couldn't save her, Kara."
For a long moment, Kara just rocked her slowly. "You didn't kill your family, Alex," she said quietly. "That other driver did."
"It was a stolen car," the brunette said as she slowly calmed down. "He fled the scene and they never caught him."
"Bastard," the younger woman muttered. "I hope his dick rots off."
And Alex couldn't help but laugh. But then the laughter dissolved into sobs and she cried. Cried. Cried. Until she couldn't cry anymore, and she slowly eased into sleep. She didn't even stir when Kara lifted her and carried her to the bed where she lay with her, spooned against her back and holding her tightly as the moon rose over the mountain's valley.
Xx
Alex woke first with the sunrise and she smiled slightly as she realized she wasn't alone. She remembered crying in Kara's arms, and she correctly assumed that the younger woman had taken care of her. She slowly turned over to find Kara still deeply asleep and she allowed herself to press into her chest… to inhale her scent and to nuzzle the soft skin at the hollow of her throat. She closed her eyes and just breathed.
"I have to assume at this point," Kara said sleepily. "That I've definitely grown on you."
Alex looked at her and brushed her knuckles slowly down her cheek. "Yes, you've grown on me, Kara Zorel," she replied.
And then Kara was leaning closer to her and brushing their lips together. Alex gasped and pulled back, putting some distance between them, eyes wide. "I'm so sorry," the blonde said quietly, fully awake now. "That was totally inappropriate. Forgive me." She rolled out of the bed and slipped into her boots and jacket. "I'll see you later." She turned and walked out the door, leaving her stunned friend behind.
Kara was kicking herself as she walked to her truck. "Fuck, what the hell were you thinking, Zorel," she muttered. "Get your head out of your God damned vagina." She beeped the lock and was about to open the door, when running footsteps caught her attention and she whirled in surprise only to be shoved up hard against the vehicle. And then Alex was kissing her, fingers laced into her hair and tongue asking permission to enter.
Kara groaned and clenched her fists into Alex's shirt, spinning them to crush her against the truck and kiss her even more deeply, all the desire she'd been feeling driving her on. Alex hands were under her shirt then, teasing her navel, tracing her abs, caressing her ribcage, thumbs running up her centerline to the bottom of her bra. "Come back to bed," she whispered then as she suckled on Kara's earlobe and cupped her breasts. Then she groaned as the blonde quickly got her own jacket off, made quick work of the older woman's button fly and pushed her hand down into the wetness between her thighs.
"We could," Kara growled softly as she explored slowly with her fingertips. "But I'd rather just make you come right here. Just like I've dreamed of doing." She pushed Alex's shirt and bra up and took a nipple into her mouth, running her tongue over it and then worrying it with her teeth.
Alex's head was swimming, and she was overwhelmed with sensation. Her hips jerked forward, seeking Kara's fingers and she wrapped her arms loosely around her neck. "Don't stop," she begged as the blonde's fingers dipped inside her and then back out to swirl around her clit. "Oh fuck… please don't stop, Kara."
And then her jeans were being pulled down and Kara was on her knees, separating Alex's thighs. The brunette cried out, her breathing coming in ragged pants as Kara's fingers pushed inside her again and her tongue began a sweeping assault on her clit that had her writhing against the truck and hands clenched in Kara's thick, blonde hair.
"Kara…" she moaned, teetering on the very edge of climax. "Oh God… I c-can't… I…"
And then gentle blue eyes were looking up at her, long strong fingers continuing their thrusts. "Alex… you can, Honey. You just have to let go. Please… let go."
And something broke inside of Alex's chest as Kara's tongue returned to her clit and she suddenly came with a long, sobbing cry of her lover's name.
And then she was collapsing into strong, sweat-slicked arms that held her up and held her close as she collapsed into tears again.
Xx
The sun was going down again. They had at some point made it back to the bed and were naked in each other's arms after having made love all day, barely stopping for food and water and a little sleep before their desire drove them back together.
Alex, pillowed on Kara's shoulder, ran her fingertips over the younger woman's breast, smiling as she sighed, and the tender flesh pebbled under her ministrations. "What happens now?" she asked slowly.
Kara's blue eyes blinked open and Alex could see how tired she was. "I'm not sure. You've said that you can't be around people…"
"Kara, you're not people," Alex chuckled. "You're Kara… and you've grown on me."
The blonde chuckled softly. "Yeah, you've kinda grown on me too."
"I'm not sure how I feel right now, other than I love being with you like this," the brunette added honestly. "Is us being together like this with no strings or labels something you can live with? At least for now?"
Kara's face eased into a beautiful smile and her eyes sparked in the light from the fire. "It's something I can definitely live with."
Alex nodded and kissed Kara's chest over her heart. "Kara?"
"Yeah?"
"I want you to know that… I don't want to die."
The End