Chapter 155 – It's all I Ever, NEVER wanted

Prime P.O.V

As it turns out, I did not have to wait long for Elita to approach me.

Three days later, she requested a private conversation with me in the training hanger. As I approached the hanger door to open it, I felt unsettled. That feeing I get in the pit of my tanks when I know something bad is about to happen and there is nothing I can do to stop it, fluttered to the fore. Pulling back the heavy door, I expected to be the first to arrive for our meeting.

I was wrong.

Elita stood in the centre of the room, her arms wrapped about her waist, her helm snapped up at my arrival and she sent me a nervous, sad smile. My spark constricted tightly at the sight of her. I knew what she was about to say and yet I hoped she would not.

''Optimus,'' she dipped her helm at me, that same sad smile greeting me.

''Elita,'' I replied in kind, coming to stop a short distance away from her. My servos hung by my sides, and I only just managed to resist the urge to clench them tightly into fists.

She nodded her helm once and bit her lower derma. Releasing her arms from about her waist, she raised herself to her full height and looked me in the optics. ''Optimus, I will not waste too much of your valuable time as I know how busy you are with – everything – that is happening.''

''Elita, while my time is valuable, your friendship is more so, and I will always have time for you. What is it you wished to speak to me about?'' I watched as she flinched slightly at my words.

''You really know how to make something that is hard to say even harder Prime when you say things like that,'' she gave nervous laugh before she ex-vented deeply and squared her shoulders. ''While I appreciate your words and their sentiment, nevertheless I will not detain you too long.'' She paused a moment before the words I had known were coming, tumbled out of her dermas and landed heavily on my spark. ''Optimus, I am requesting permission to leave Earth and return to Cybertron.''

I went to reply but she held her servo up for me to be silent. I complied. ''I have been thinking about this and wanting to do it for a while now,'' again that nervous laugh, ''well since I found out about Phoenix anyway, but even more so just recently. I miss my femmes and wish to know of their status. And, if what you say is about to happen here, then you will need all the help you can get!'' She began to pace about on the spot as she continued to fire her arguments at me. ''Perhaps I could encourage and lead the others to join you here on Earth to make a final stand against Unicron.'' She stopped pacing and looked at me, her optics burning brightly. ''I thought that I could also take the Seed with me as that would be one less thing for you, and this planet, to worry about.''

I felt an aching sadness begin to consume me. My voice, barely a whisper when I replied to her. ''Elita. I have wished to have you back in my life and safe by my side for so long and now you are leaving…''

She took a step closer towards me, her voice firm yet tinged with sadness. ''As I must Prime, and you know it. You wished me to be by your side back in a time before you knew Phoenix, back when our bond was still whole and strong. Now,'' she closed the distance between us and reached up, cupping my cheek in a show of affection. ''Things have changed between you and me. We have both travelled different paths, experienced different journeys.'' She smiled up at me brightly, ''but no matter where we go, or what we do, we will always be bound to each other, you and I Prime, in deepest friendship, admiration and respect.''

Stepping forward, I wrapped my arms around the amazing femme before me. The femme who held my spark for so long, who would always be dear to my spark until mine ceased to pulse. We held each other like that for a moment, in what could possibly be our final farewell.

I released her and stepped back, smiling at her. ''I wish you would reconsider Elita. With all that is about to happen, with Phoenix about to,'' I paused a moment as I selected my words, ''undertake her mission, I was hoping I might have your support.'' Elita went to interrupt, but it was my turn to momentarily request her silence. ''However, I understand your reasons, and while I cannot deny that I selfishly wish you could stay, I know you cannot and so, I grant you permission to return to Cybertron.''

Elita rushed forward and embraced me again, a huge smile on her dermas. ''Thanks Optimus! I knew you would understand.''

I felt a small chuckle leave my dermas as I returned her hug. ''It is good to see you smiling.'' I held her tightly for a moment. ''I wish you nothing but happiness 'Lita, always have. If anyone deserves to be happy, it is you.''

Elita released me and stepped back, looking away for a moment as if embarrassed. ''And… I you Optimus.'' A guilty look descended upon her features and she cast her optics away from my gaze. ''I know I may not have gotten off to the best start with Phoenix, but'' she turned her helm back towards me and looked me in the optics, ''she truly is worthy of your spark Prime, and I wish you both every happiness.''

A smile spread across my dermas and part of the weight that had settled around my spark, began to lift. ''That means a lot Elita. Thank you.'' I shifted on my pedes. ''So, when do you intend to leave? We shall have to somehow find you a ship..'' I paused as I watched her cast her optics about the hanger, once again biting her lower derma. ''Unless of course you have already done so?''

Elita nodded, a sheepish grin on her dermas. ''Actually, Prime I have. I ah… I assumed you would be supportive of my decision and went ahead and contacted Daytrader. He is providing me with a ship.''

I folded my arms across my chest and raised an optical ridge towards her in mock indignation. ''Do I want to know how you managed to procure a ship from the likes of Daytrader? Furthermore, might I ask what ship he has managed to get his enterprising digits on?''

A gleam of mischief flashed in Elita's optics. ''Oh, I think ignorance can indeed be bliss as the humans say Optimus. As for the ship he has managed to cough up for me, let's say you are – familiar - with it.''

I lowered my arms from across my chest and stared at her for a moment. ''Do you mean to tell me that Daytrader has made good on a promise and delivered us a ship and that ship is none other than the Knight's Temnos?''

Elita folded her arms across her chest triumphantly. ''Yes, and yes Prime.''

I chuckled at her. ''Well, you will definitely make good time on your trip back to Cybertron and back here to Earth - if you are able.'' Sensing we had said what needed to be said in private, I began to turn to face the hanger door and gestured for Elita to begin to walk. ''So when will you leave now you have your ship? The day after Phoenix…''

Elita hesitated a moment. ''Actually Prime, I leave now.''

I stood stunned, only millennia of practice prevented my dermas from gaping open in shock. The heaviness that had begun to lift from about my spark settled back, almost like a wet blanket suffocating me. I simply nodded my helm. ''I see, Elita.''

She gently placed her servo on my arm. ''I am sorry Prime. I never meant to be deceitful or disrespectful to you by going behind your back. I just know that time is of the essence and the sooner I get going, the sooner I may find my way back here – hopefully with reinforcements.'' She squeezed my arm and smiled brightly at me. ''I knew you would not like what I had to say, but I also knew you would support me. It is one of your greatest qualities.''

I nodded my helm. What could I say? While I wished she had have spoken to me sooner, I understood her urgency and she was right. Time was of the essence. /Besides, part of me hates prolonged goodbyes/. It made sense for her to leave immediately. I felt a teasing smile spread across my dermas. ''You already have my permission Elita, not that you apparently needed it. You aren't trying to placate me, are you?''

She laughed out loud and gently tapped my shoulder strut. ''Not at all Optimus. It's true.''

I paused a moment, considering my next words. ''Well, say hello to the others for me – especially Ultra Magnus.''

Flinching a little at the mention of Magnus' name, Elita smiled fondly and began to walk towards the door. ''I shall Prime. It will be good to see them all again. I have missed them.''

As I fell into stride beside her, I couldn't help but tease her. ''Don't you mean you have missed Ultra Magnus?'' I glanced sideways at her, raising an optic ridge interrogatively at her.

''Optimus!'' She slapped me on the shoulder strut playfully, bursting out into laughter.

I stopped walking and reached out to take her servo in mine, squeezing it tightly for a moment as our playful mood turned serious yet again. ''He better look after you Elita, or he will have me to deal with!''

''Well, he has some pretty big pede steps to follow in Prime, but I feel Magnus is up to the challenge.'' She squeezed my servo back before releasing it.

Reaching out, I brushed my digits down her face one last time, cupping her chin. ''I could not stand the thought of anyone less worthy holding your spark Elita.'' She flinched out of my grasp, a strange expression on her face. I felt my optical ridge furrow in confusion and concern. ''Elita? Was it something I said?''

She shook her helm in wonder and then laughed. ''Well actually, yes Prime.'' She resumed her trek towards the doorway of the training hanger, and I fell in beside her once again. Taking the last few steps, she placed her servo on the door and pulled it open, hesitating before she stepped through. ''I said the same thing to Phoenix about you!''

I looked at her sideways, and she turned to face me with a serious look on her face. For a moment we both stood there staring at each other before her dermas began to curve up in a small smile and her shoulder shook as she began to laugh. I felt my own shoulders shake as I followed her lead and laughed.

Stepping through the hanger doors, I became aware of the commotion near Hanger 1 as the Autobots had gathered to say goodbye. The massive hulking form of the Knight's Temnos loomed into view as it waited to take her far away from me. I fought down the wave of sadness that swept over me and fell into step beside her.

As we approached the small crowd who had gathered, I noticed Phoenix stood among them, watching us. She did not look angry or jealous. She was smiling at Elita and I. A part of me fell in love with her even more in that moment. My spark pulsed and a warmth filled me as for a moment, I had everything I wanted. Elita was alive and safe, and we had healed the rift between us. Phoenix was back in my life, and we were growing closer every day. I had the two most important femmes in my life stood beside me, and before me. /For now/.

Elita walked on ahead of me and began to make her farewells; a mixture of hugs and shoulder pats, respectful nods and smiles. She would be missed. Phoenix stood by the ramp to the ship, the last to say goodbye. She reached out and embraced Elita, enveloping her smaller frame, holding her tight. No words were exchanged, there was no need. I had a feeling Elita had spoken to Phoenix prior to speaking to me. There was nothing left unsaid.

Elita and Phoenix released each other and smiled, and my spark skipped a pulse as the reality of what was about to happen hit me. The smile on my dermas faded slowly. Elita was just about to head inside the smaller craft that would take her aboard the Temnos, when she turned about and shouted out to Rachet and Ironhide, ''Hey! You guys never did tell me what that bet was about that day in Beijing.''

I raised an optic ridge at my medic and my weapon's specialist, noting with interest how they both seemed to freeze in shock. Hound began to laugh as he chewed on a new cigar. Phoenix stopped and fixed her gaze on them both, folding her arms across her chest expectantly.

Rachet coughed uncomfortably. ''Oh well, what a shame you must go Elita. I guess we will never find out.''

Ironhide's gravelly voice spoke up as he shrugged his shoulders. ''We simply bet who would win in a fight between you and Phoenix.''

/He really did have a death wish/, I noted with interest. For a moment I stood there stunned, unsure how to react and I braced myself for the reaction of Elita, Phoenix and all my Autobots. An eerie, uncomfortable silence seemed to envelope the crowd as everyone looked at each other, then to me and then to Elita and Phoenix - waiting. Elita folded her arms across her chest, sending both Rachet and Ironhide a deadly stare.

All at once, Phoenix laughed and all optics turned to her. ''Well, I think I can speak for us both Elita, there will be no need to see who would win a fight between us. However,'' Phoenix stepped up to Ironhide and Rachet and placed a servo on each of their shoulders, before looking up to Elita, a large grin on her face. ''Perhaps we could all place new bets on which of these two mechs' afts you and I could beat soundly first?''

Ironhide's optics narrowed, and he growled, Rachet looked chagrined though they both said nothing. Elita called down to Phoenix, ''You're on! When I next return, I'll take that bet.'' Everyone else, myself included began to laugh as the tension dissipated. Phoenix winked up at Elita and then squeezed Ironhide and Rachet's shoulders before releasing them, walking over to stand beside me. I reached out my arm and happily welcomed her by my side.

Smiling at us both, Elita waved goodbye before she boarded the smaller vessel. Everyone began to move back away from the ship to a safer distance as she prepared for take-off. Guiding Phoenix to a safer place, I placed an arm around her, pulling her protectively to my side and kissed her helm. ''Well said my Phoenix.'' I bent down to whisper in her audial conspiratorially as the engines began to whine, ''However, my money would be on Ironhide going down first.'' She burst out laughing and my spark thrummed contentedly at the sound. /How I have missed that!/.

''Seriously? You would pick the seasoned warrior to go down first over the medic?'' she sounded incredulous.

I nodded my helm, ''That medic has some serious anger issues after millennia of dealing with the likes of the twins on convalescence, not to mention a Prime that does not take orders well.'' My optics smiled down at her.

''Oh, I can attest to that!'' Phoenix laughed again as she moved to stand closer to me, her servo gently running along my back struts. I delighted in the feel of her body against mine and for a moment, I was pleasantly distracted by the events unfolding before me.

''He also has access to some quality drugs AND he is deadly with a wrench. Just ask Sideswipe and Sunstreaker.'' Though my face held a grave expression, there was a playful tone in my voice. I gazed down at her for a moment as she gazed up at me, laughing – her optics shining brightly.

It was all I ever, never wanted.

Phoenix by my side, looking at me like she was now and the only other femme I had ever loved was leaving my life - again. Perhaps for good.

My spark was torn in two.