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Chapter Thirty Five – The Awkward Conversation?
It had never dawned on him before that humans might not like heights. An odd concept back home, sure, but here everything was small, they were the biggest thing around. For a species so similar to his own, they were so different in so many ways that it was almost astonishing. A fear of falling due to a lack of size to everything around them. Without ways to prevent themselves from getting hurt, they were just as privy to injury from a fall as he would be from a shot to his spark chamber - their bodies weren't evolved far enough along yet to protect them from falls like that, or better yet to prevent falls like that, period. Back home, to read a headline about somebot getting hurt from falling was nearly nonexistent
He watched as she turned and made sure the dogs were okay, and found them sniffing around the corners of the room, investigating this brand new area. Upon understanding they were fine, that the two things she placed so much importance on were okay, she turned her attention back to him, her heart still racing. He could smell the fear seeping from her pores despite her best efforts to stop it.
J.J took a deep yet shaky breath in, but nodded and closed her eyes with a slight nod, "Okay."
She stepped forward and pushed herself on to his palm, which he'd reextended in invitation, grabbing hold of his finger to aid her balance. Her grip shook slightly as she settled down evenly, and he waited until he was sure she was comfortable before he straightened up and raised her into the air. He noticed how her grip tightened immensely as her feet left the ground and he held his hand over the desk a few seconds later, allowing her to hop off his hand.
Her legs shook a little, mostly out of fear, as she stood on her own, turning around to face him completely. He stood in front of the desk, having closed a lot of the space between them, and his arms crossed over his chest as he made eye contact with her.
"What did you want to talk about, J.J?" he asked.
Before she could formulate even a plan of what she was going to respond with, a knock on the door pulled both of their heads that way, and causing the dogs to bark quickly before dropping the subject. Of course something had to interrupt their moment - did he expect them to suddenly get privacy when he hadn't gotten it for himself since being here? They'd been here for years now and he'd barely ever gotten a moment of silence for himself, if it wasn't the humans demanding something form him then it was one of his own.
"Its open, you're welcome to come in." Optimus's deep voice called out.
The door slid open and on the other side stood Elita One and Ratchet. Though their armor wasn't waxed to perfection the same way Sunstreaker's always was, the rays of light coming from the fixtures on the ceiling landed on the painted metal sitting over their frames and bounced on to one another, then scattered into the room in front of them. Elita was carrying some kind of tablet in her hands.
"Ratchet, Elita, its good to see you two." Optimus greeted.
Ratchet simply nodded in confirmation that he heard the big bot.
Elita One offered him a small smile upon seeing him standing there, behind his desk, and right afterwards her eyes moved down and landed on Jess, standing at the edge of Optimus's desk, standing closer to him than to the door.
"Oh, I wasn't expecting to see you here, hey J.J. Um, I've got that data pad with the patrol report you needed, Prime."
Jess's eyes flicked up to the big red and blue bot who nodded at her.
"Thank you Elita, I'll take a look at it as soon as I can. Do you need assistance, Ratchet?"
The medic nodded. "I do believe I need your assistance in getting either Skids or Mudflap to the Med Bay for their quarterly. They never listen when I tell them that they're required to drop in for a visit."
Optimus chuckled quietly, deeply, but nodded. "If you give me a minute or two, I'll go find them and escort them to you myself."
Ratchet nodded, then his eyes flicked down to Jess as she watched the exchange go back and forth.
"Good to see you, Ms Robbins."
She smiled softly at both of them, "Hey guys, how's it going?"
Ratchet took a deep, seemingly frustrated sigh in, and Elita One giggled at him, then looked back at the tiny human on the desk.
"Quarterly year check ups are never something Ratchet enjoys. Although, he won't admit but its true, he puts too much stress on himself over it." Elita pointed out, looking up at the medic pointedly.
The CMO casted his gaze down to her, eyes squinting.
"Would you like to take over for me, then Elita One, and show me how to not be stressed?"
Jess giggled at the interaction between the two of them as Elita simply smirked at the CMO and left the room, and he followed behind her closely.
The CMO stopped suddenly, grabbing the edge of the door frame as he turned again and spoke," Oh, Ms Robbins, I've been asked to tell you if I see you - there's a gentleman on base looking for you and I've been informed he's starting to stir up the peace and quiet so Lennox would like to more information on the situation. When you get a chance, could you call him?"
J.J's jaw clenched, but she nodded. "Yeah. Thanks."
He offered her a tight smile, she assumed that was the closest thing to sympathy Ratchet could physically offer, then he turned and left. The door slid shut once again, leaving them alone in the office once again.
"Is everything okay?" he asked, refocusing his attention on to her.
Her hair had been tied up into her normal bun, with a lot of the shorter strands having escaped the confines of her elastic and now spread out along her forehead, accenting how deep the blue of her irises looked right now. He could see the reflection of his own bright blue optics in her pupils, making her eyes look as if they changed shades of blue from the inside out, a dramatic effect that he found actually quite adorable of an effect to being around her. Her skin, which had darkened in reaction to the near constant sun she'd been exposed to since arriving, seemed to almost glow today and he wondered if she'd changed something about her daily routine to give her that glow or if it was just the lack of stress and weight on her shoulders that she had to no longer carry since her revelation last night. Maybe both, but that he couldn't be sure of. What he could be sure of is that, just like the first day he saw her, and every day he'd seen her since, she looked marvelous. Which had him wondering what exactly it was she wanted to talk about right now. Had something changed in her mind since he last spoke to her? He knew from personal experience that humans tended to react first and think second, and had it not been for the Imprint he was certain that would be what she wanted to talk about right now. But he also knew - well, it was more of a hope, really - that the Imprint would stop any regression on her part in their relationship, it would prevent her from suddenly deciding that she no longer felt that way for him anymore.
She nodded, playing with her hands, "Um, yeah, I just… I just wanted to make sure, um… I wanted to make sure that we're on the same page with… everything."
He tilted his head slightly as he looked at her. "I'm afraid I don't follow. You'll have to clarify."
She took a shaky breath in, "Just… God, I hate having the awkward conversation. Um, I just, I feel like I have to make sure that we're on the same page as to what we are, what's happening between us. I know last night you said you wanted a set up similar to what Andrew and I had, but I just want to make sure that you understand that that's not what I want."
With a genuinely confused look on his face, he placed his hands, now balled up in to fists, against the desk and put some of his weight into it. "I was under the impression you… what is it you want then?"
She licked her lips nervously, rubbing her hands together, "I, um, maybe I should word it differently, I guess. Uh, I don't plan on… no, I plan on being exclusive outside of our actions. I'm not just screwing around with you, I want more than that. I just – I wanted to make sure we were on the same page."
Not to his surprise, he found her rambling actually quite adorable – the way she stumbled over her words, focused her attention on to her fingernails, and played with her bottom lip between her teeth, using the practices as a way to avoid his gaze. A smile graced his face warmly.
"J.J, from the conversation we shared last night, I was under the impression that we were exclusive. I gathered that though we were entering some kind of commitment to one another, we were simply going to move slowly in its progression."
She finally let go of a deep breath she seemed to be holding in, her shoulders stop being so straight as her back relaxed, and her eyes closed.
"I was really worried because how we left the conversation last night was kind of open ended, and I was worried that we'd gotten different things from it yesterday. And I was worried that we were going to have this weird thing that neither of us understood but we didn't want it to end which would complicate it, and it just…"
It was clear she was somewhat in distress, she seemed scared or unsure of both the situation and herself, and perhaps even him. Either way, she was not happy or content, and that was an issue for him – as of late he was rejoicing, and instead of enjoying the moments as well, she seemed to be panicking, and overthinking, and freaking herself out, and she did not deserve to think of herself like that.
He lowered himself down further, bringing his face closer to hers and prompting her to look up at him, leaving such a miniscule amount of space between them that he could see her hair reacting to his breath softly; she craned her neck to make eye contact with him.
"I can see how the events of last night might leave someone a little confused as to how and where we stand, but I am standing here now, promising you that everything I said yesterday meant I am interested in an exclusive and committed relationship, because I like you greatly. And I know that this is an odd concept, so I agree that moving slowly, at a rate that we are comfortable at, and keeping an open line of communication between the two of us is the safest option, the best way to keep this a positive experience."
His voice was low and steady, the rumble sending vibrations down her spine. She couldn't tell if it was his breathing or his words, maybe his gaze or the glow of his eyes, that made all of her nerves, her fingertips and feet, go warm.
"My only goal is to make you happy." He promised, lowering his voice even further.
She licked her lips as she took his face in; the way she tensed up, her jaw clenching, her shoulders stiffening up. He watched the way her eyes left his and trailed down her face and seemed to land on his lip plates. They lingered there for a long time, longer than she cared to keep track of, before she forced them back up to meet his eyes once more.
"OKay. You, uhm..." she cleared her throat, "You have a set of twins that you need to go round up and deliver to your Medical Officer."
He chuckled softly, and nodded as he straightened up, "Indeed I do," After a moment or two of him looking towards the door, he looked back down at the human before him, "Do you need a ride anywhere?"
She shook her head, releasing a shaky breath slowly, "No, I have the Jeep at the hangar entrance."
He smiled and nodded, "Would you like some company on your walk there?"
For some reason, one she couldn't really figure out, she felt a weight being released from being on her shoulders, and she took a deep, free feeling breath in and nodded with a smile.
"Sure."
X0X0X0X0X0
"You know," his voice, deep and smooth as he spoke out towards her, reached her ears and prompted her to look up at the incoming silver robot as he approached her location, "For someone who doesn't have a place to work right now, I see you working on this vehicle way too much."
She raised an eyebrow as Olly barked at him, standing up and wagging his tail while Atari watched him from behind J.J, having little interest in the approaching Autobot.
"What's up, buddy? How's it going, huh?" Sideswipe asked as Olly approached him, keeping his distance from the wheeled feet that Sideswipe moved forward on, and the silver mech looked back over to the little human who sat on a stool. "What are you doing?"
She dropped her eyebrow as Olly trotted back over to her side and settled down beside her.
"Oil change."
He tilted his head slightly. "Oil... change?"
She nodded, looking back up at him. "Yes sir. Just hit zero percent, and maybe if I drove an old Honda or Toyota then I'd let it go for a bit longer, but not for this thing."
He furrowed his brows, the look of confusion on his face not leaving. "Wait, like, you change the oil thats in the human component of your engine?"
She chuckled, rolling her eyes slightly, "Well, you see, I come from this planet, so my engine is actually all human components. But yeah."
"How in the frag do you do that?" he asked, seeming taken aback.
She began to share the confused look he wore, although now his was also shocked, "You drain the old stuff out, change the filters, refill it with new stuff, and reset your oil life percentage on the engine's computer, more or less."
This time, he actually flinched backwards in shock, "You take it out?"
She turned to him with her hands held in the air slightly, her face looking fairly montone, "Have you... have you never changed your oil?"
He shook his head. "Back home we don't have oil, not the same thing that Earth does anyway. We called it oil but it was a whole other type of... thing, and it was used completely differently."
This time, her face dropped in shock, maybe a little bit of disgust. "How long have you been here?"
"I'm at two years and a bit, but the original five are going on over three years."
"Have they ever gotten an oil change?"
She seemed almost worried, like she just found out serious information.
He shook his head, "Not that I know of, no one ever told us we needed to."
Her jaw dropped in awe, her eyes widening a little.
"Sideswipe, oil gums up the hotter it gets. Engine oil should be changed every five thousand to seventy-five hundred miles at max for high end performance vehicles in serious work. You're telling me some of your team hasn't gotten an oil change since arriving?"
He shrugged, "Didn't really have anybody tell us anything, most humans assume we already know everything, and not many people here are qualified to do it considering that if you go in there, half the stuff in there is completely foreign to humans. And what do you mean 'it gums up'?"
She let her jaw drop a little more, "It gums up, it turns from a liquid to a more solid state, and it makes it easier for your engine to wear down and corrode. It stops acting like a lube."
He snorted at her suddenly, making her roll her eyes at him.
"Really? I'm trying to be serious, you had to laugh and ruin it?" she asked
He chuckled, shaking his head, "Sorry, you set it up perfectly so I could knock it down. And if you're worried then why don't you talk to Ratchet? He'll have a blast if you want to talk to him about our mechanics and how we work. Actually, I think he's been waiting for you to ask because he doesn't want to assume you want to learn and then scare you or overstep."
She contemplated what he said heavily, then nodded, "Actually, maybe I will. It would be a big help with work, too."
He nodded, "Yeah, I would much rather it be you who does my check ups and pokes around under my hood than that old, crinkled tin can of a CMO thats hanging out in the Med Bay and swinging wrenches at us every chance he gets."
J.J blinked at him for a moment with a monotone expression, seeming to have gotten stuck on his statement, before she shook her head, "I'm sorry, wrenches?"
Sideswipe tilted his head back and howled in laughter, his left hand lifting up to grasp his chest.
"Don't worry, he'll never use them against you, just us."
She raised her eyebrows, but nodded in a mix of acceptance and disbelief at the same time. "You know what? I'll take your word for it."
Date Started: December 18, 2020
Date Finished: May 1, 2021
Last Edited: May 30, 2021
As you can see, this one took me forever to finish. He was definitely a hard one to tackle.