A/N: Thank you all for your support and comments. It makes my day to read your reviews and hear you are enjoying the story :-). I couldn't stop writing the past few days so here's another chapter :-).
CHAPTER 9
It was early morning when Arizona woke up feeling her chest touching something every time she took a breath. She opened her eyes and saw Callie's back leaning against her. Her own left arm was wrapped around Callie and her knees were tucked into the back of Callie's knees. Am I spooning her? Arizona thought, Is this what we were normally doing? Arizona allowed her body to feel every inch of Callie's body and she liked the sensation. She smiled. Callie took a deep breath and Arizona started thinking what it would feel like to move her hand underneath Callie's top and touch her skin. The thought alone made her lose her breath.
While she was lost in her thoughts Callie stirred and turned on her back, her left side was still pressed against Arizona but it seemed she didn't mind as she continued to sleep soundly. Arizona on the other hand was struggling to breathe properly as the new position Callie took caused her own left hand to move as well and it was now resting on Callie's right breast. She could feel Callie's nipple under her palm and she was really tempted to squeeze the breast with her hand and trail her fingers over that nipple. She closed her eyes and when Callie stirred again, she quickly removed her hand and turned to the other side. She closed her eyes again and tried to slow her breathing down when she felt Callie's body getting close to her and soon she could feel both of Callie's breasts pressing against her back as Callie's arm wrapped around her body and settled in between Arizona's arms, Callie's fingers now touching her left breast. Arizona opened her eyes and inhaled slowly but deeply, hoping it would help but it didn't. Her breath was really shallow as she felt the desire grow inside her body. She was about to take Callie's hand and push it harder against her own chest when Callie's alarm sounded.
Callie opened her eyes and immediately realized what she was doing, "Oh God, I'm so sorry Arizona," she said removing her hand and distancing her body away.
"Force of habit," she mumbled and got up to get her phone.
Arizona turned around and looked at Callie, "It's okay, actually I woke up earlier wrapped around your body in the same way."
Callie smiled.
"So we are both spooners?" Arizona asked.
Callie laughed slightly, "Yes we are, actually that's your favorite thing on a lazy morning, lie in bed spooned against each other, we would take turns being the big spoon and just talk about what we wanted to do during the day."
"Sounds sweet," Arizona said with a smile.
"I'm gonna go wake up Sofia and get her ready for daycare. You have two PT sessions today right?"
"Yeah, we're gonna walk in the park this morning and do the indoor one at 5pm. I was thinking of trying to walk to the hospital this morning, so we'd have to leave earlier."
"Sure, let's give it a try. I'll go get Sofia. "
"Okay," Arizona said hoping Callie would lean over and press her lips against her cheek at least, but she didn't and Arizona felt weird disappointment watching Callie leave the room.
The walk to the hospital went great and they were both happy that Arizona was getting her strength back. Callie walked her to the PT floor and then dropped Sofia at the daycare. She then went to find Amelia.
"Hey, do you have a few minutes?" she asked as she popped her head through the door.
"Sure, come in," Amelia invited. "Is everything okay with Arizona?"
"Oh, yeah, everything is great, I dropped her off at PT, we walked over here, her leg is doing really great, there hasn't been any nausea, or dizziness, she's recovering really well."
"Okay great, so what is this about? Did you want to go over her scans and tests?"
"No, no, she told me all about it. I'm here because we have a problem about something from our past that she doesn't know about, and she shouldn't know about, but I think I have to tell her, because she will find out and it will be worse if she finds out on her own."
"Umm, Callie, you're not making any sense…"
"Right, okay… Ummm… there was an accident, we had a car crash when I was five months pregnant, Sofia was born at 23 weeks, and we have both had heart surgery, so you know there are scars… Now mine, well it's not a problem, I mean we are not being intimate and that will wait for a while so I can hide mine you know, there's no danger that she will see it, but Sofia… I don't know how much longer I can keep Arizona from changing her clothes, or being there when Sofia takes a bath. She's getting better really fast, soon she will want to bathe her."
"Right… okay… hmmm… okay you are right… it's better you tell her because seeing the scar might affect her negatively, she doesn't need huge emotional turmoils while she's still recovering."
"Okay, so I can tell her then..."
"Yes, but Callie… try not to tell her everything… just the necessary stuff, the broad picture remember? Not the details."
Callie nodded her head. "Yeah, I'll do it tonight…"
Arizona's walk in the park was a success. They did several rounds and Peter encouraged her to walk without any help several times. In the end Arizona was tired but very happy. Peter walked her back to the apartment and said he would come pick her up at 5:50 pm as he wanted her to practice walking alone to the hospital. When Arizona got back to the apartment she decided to take a nap because she was tired and also wanted to let her body recover and have enough strength for the afternoon session.
Across the street at the hospital it was lunch time when Callie ran into Mark at the cafeteria.
"Torres, where have you been!?"
"Mark, I saw you yesterday, I came to visit Lexie and you were there, don't you remember?"
"Of course I remember, I'm not the one with amnesia."
"Seriously!?" Callie snapped and looked at Mark with annoyance.
"Too soon? Yeah, you're right, it's too soon, sorry," he said apologetically.
Callie sighed, "Sorry I snapped, I'm a bit tense today…"
"You too? I'm going out of my mind, I already called you like five times, that's why I asked where you've been."
Callie took her phone, "You've called me ten times Mark!" she said and showed him the phone. "In 10 minutes, what the hell?"
"Sorry, I'm just… I need to talk!"
"We are talking," Callie said and looked at him.
"No, I mean, talk-talk, it's important," he said as he grabbed Callie's elbow.
"Mark! I have work to do! And I have to go check on Derek!"
"I just saw him, he's fine! We have more important things to discuss," he said as he opened the door to the attending's lounge.
Callie rolled her eyes, "Okay, what's so important?"
"I'm gonna propose," Mark said smiling broadly.
"I'm sorry, what!?"
"I'm gonna propose to Lexie."
"Oh, God, Mark!"
"I want to marry her, she almost died Callie, we both almost died, I don't want to waste any more time pretending I don't love her. I love her! I am in love with her! So I'm gonna propose! What do you think?"
Callie sighed and shook her head. "You're crazy! She's still lying in hospital Mark, and she's gonna still be here for another two or three months, this is not about what you need. It should be about her, why can't you just be there for her?"
"I am being there for her, I just want to know that she will marry me when she recovers."
"Why?" Callie asked staring at Mark.
"Why what?" Mark asked now annoyed a bit.
"Why do you need to know that she will marry you? You are rushing again! Just love her Mark, and enjoy the time you are spending with her. Marriage is just a piece of paper. She's young, she has just had a brush with death, don't rush her, because you might lose her again."
Mark crossed his arms on his chest "Why are you in such a sour mood anyway?"
Callie scoffed, "What do you think, Mark!? My wife doesn't remember she loves me, I have to fight every day not to pull her close and kiss her, I haven't kissed her in four weeks Mark, and even then it was a light peck on the lips and she hasn't kissed me since the moment she left to take that damn plane! And last night we slept in the same bed and I still can't kiss her and that's all I want to do, kiss her and never stop! What if she never remembers Mark!?"
"Okay, stop, Torres! She will remember! She has to remember!"
Callie let out a frustrating puff of air, "Real life doesn't work that way, Mark. Real life sucks sometimes… like really sucks! She might never get her memory back…"
Mark thought for a moment, "So what!"
"What do you mean so what? She might never remember who I am!"
"She knows who you are now. So build something new with her, she fell in love with you once, she'll fall in love with you again Torres."
"Right!" Callie uttered sarcastically, "Like that happens every day, people falling in love twice with the same person."
"But what's the alternative, Torres? Are you just gonna give up?"
Callie looked at him and stayed silent.
"Ask her on a date, allow her to get to know you without this pressure of having to remember something. Work your magic Torres, sweep her off her feet, woo her, seduce her…"
"Woo her?" Callie raised her eyebrow and looked at Mark. "Who are you and what have you done with my friend?" she teased.
"I've grown, I'm in love, I want to take Lexie home and hold her in my arms and watch movies together. That's all I need, I just need to have her in my arms and I will be happy."
"Good, you don't need to be married to do that, I'm telling you, you will freak her out if you propose now, stick with I love you for the time being."
"Hmm… Derek told me a similar thing, but I just thought he said that because he doesn't want me to marry his sister-in-law…"
"You just got her back Mark, enjoy having her alive and getting better."
"Right… okay, you might have a point, I can wait a bit, I'll just keep busy planning the wedding."
Callie shook her head in disbelief.
"And you Torres, start planning a date, go get your girl again!" Mark said and got up.
"In between your talks with the florist and the restaurant manager can you look for my friend Mark, cause you're not him!" Callie yelled after him.
Mark just waved his hand in dismissal as he exited the room.
"A date…," Callie whispered, "…maybe it's not such a bad idea…" she said to herself and got up as well to go check on Derek.
It was late in the afternoon when Arizona met with Alex after her PT session. They had agreed he would help her get back to the apartment.
"Hey, you're still on your feet?" Alex said when he saw her.
"Yes, but I just asked one of the nurses to get my wheelchair, I'm a bit tired."
"No wonder, you did two sessions today, right?"
"Yeah."
"So how was it?"
"It was great, really great! I walked quite a lot on my own, without holding on to anything."
"Whoa, that's amazing Robbins!"
"Yeah, I am determined to come back to work soon, I can't wait. I really miss working."
"I can imagine, well if you continue like this, and if you keep on being smart with your recovery, taking breaks when you feel your body needs them, you will be back in no time."
Arizona laughed, "You sound like Callie, reminding me to take breaks."
Alex smiled, "We are just worried that you don't overdo it, that's all."
They were walking towards the main reception area when suddenly Dr. Bailey appeared in front of them, running alongside a patient.
They heard Edwards speak as they came close.
"Female, 30 years old, severe head and chest injuries, 23 weeks pregnant..."
They went pass Alex and Arizona and Bailey yelled after them, "Karev, OR 2 we need you!"
"Go!" Arizona said, "I'll find someone to help me."
"Okay," Alex said and ran towards OR 2. He ran into Jo when he stepped out of the elevator. "Wilson, go help Dr. Robbins, she's at the reception area!"
Jo went down and found Arizona who had just sat in the wheelchair.
"Dr. Robbins, Dr. Karev told me you need some help."
"Oh, what's your name again Wilson?" she asked looking at Jo's name tag.
"Jo, Jo Wilson, Dr. Robbins," she replied.
"Jo, okay, can you please take me to OR 2 gallery."
"Sure," Jo replied and started pushing the wheelchair.
"So, Jo is short for what?" Arizona asked.
"Josephine…" Wilson replied.
"That's a beautiful name, you should use it more."
Wilson smiled, "Thank you. You know I've heard a lot about you, you save babies, and they say you're cheerful and happy. I like happy," she said and grinned.
Arizona smiled, "Peds is either very happy or very sad, there's no in between."
"Right…" Jo said and nodded her head.
"Are you interested in peds?"
"Umm, I'm not sure… right now I'm interested in everything, I think…"
Arizona smiled, "Well, when I come back to work, come find me, I'll put you on my rotation and give you a taste of peds surgery."
"That would be great, thank you," Wilson said smiling broadly.
They reached the gallery and Wilson placed Arizona close to the window so she could see. They both looked down and watched several doctors work on the case, trying to save both the mom and the baby.
"We're losing her!" they heard Dr. Bailey say.
"Push one of EPI!" Meredith said.
"She's not responding!" Edwards informed.
"Dammit! Where is this bleed coming from!?" Bailey exclaimed in a worried tone.
"Bailey, if you don't get her heart back in one minute I'll have to take the baby out!" Karev warned.
"We are trying Karev!" Bailey said as the continuous sound kept on coming from the monitor.
A few moments passed without any change.
"We can't wait any longer," Karev informed, "Scalpel!" he instructed and started performing a C-section.
He took the baby out and rushed to the table in the back.
"Is she breathing?" Edwards asked.
"Her color is bad! I need suction! Prepare intubation kit!" Alex instructed. "Dammit! I'm not getting a heartbeat!" he said. "Ventilate, apgar is still zero!"
Arizona watched from above and listened to everything. Suddenly she felt like she was in a tunnel as the sounds coming from below started mixing with the scene that began playing in her head. She heard the same sentence Ventilate, apgar is still zero, but from a female voice and all of a sudden saw a baby in front of her eyes. The baby looked premature and didn't have a heartbeat.
"Press the com, Wilson!" she quickly said and then directed her words to Karev.
"Alex, push 9 cc's of L.R., point 0.5 cc's of EPI and .5 of Bicarb!"
Alex looked up and repeated, "Push 9 cc's of L.R., point 0.5 cc's of EPI and .5 of Bicarb! And keep on ventilating!"
Alex shook his head, "It's not working Robbins!"
"Give it a second, stop with the compressions," Arizona instructed.
A few seconds passed.
"We have a heartbeat!" Alex announced and the OR exploded in cheers.
Alex looked up and smiled at Arizona.
"Wow that was amazing!" Wilson whispered in awe.
"Mom's rhythm is stable too," Dr. Bailey announced.
"Great work everyone, let's take this little girl to NICU and I'll scrub out and come check on her."
As she watched Dr. Bailey close in the OR, Arizona got lost in her thoughts, she turned her head to Wilson.
"Can you please get me down there, I need to speak to Alex."
"Sure," Jo said and turned the wheelchair around.
While Alex was scrubbing out, Arizona pushed the door open and rolled the wheelchair inside.
"That was amazing Robbins, how did you know what to do?" he asked.
"I remembered a similar case, did I have a similar case, Alex? I had images flashing in front of my eyes, the baby was lying there in front of me, I said to push those things in and her heart started beating. Do you know if I had a case like that? I'd like to take a look at the file."
"Umm, I'm not sure!" Alex replied his eyes staring at his hands not daring to look at Arizona.
"What do you mean you're not sure!? We don't deliver babies at 23 weeks every day! This is so rare that everyone in this hospital would know if we had a case like that!"
Karev cleared his throat, "Umm, I can take a look."
"Bullshit Alex! You don't want to show me the file!"
"Why are you asking me this anyway?" Alex tried to divert.
"You are avoiding the question!" Arizona snapped.
"I'm sorry, okay, but it's for your own good, you need to remember on your own."
"I remember most of my cases, possibly all of them! Why don't I fully remember this one?"
"I don't know," Alex said without looking at Arizona.
"Argh! How am I supposed to remember when no one is helping me remember!" she protested in frustration. "I thought you were my friend Alex!" Arizona yelled, turned the wheelchair around and rolled away.
"Arizona! That's not fair!" Alex exclaimed and threw his scrub cap against the window. "Dammit!" he sighed heavily and picked his cap up and then rushed out. He went to the counter and grabbed one of the tablets. He saw Arizona exiting the hospital and ran after her.
He stood in front of the wheelchair and blocked her path. He typed a few things into the tablet and swiped a few times and then looked at Arizona.
"You need to take a deep breath and prepare yourself because you will not like this."
Arizona rolled her eyes. "Dramatic much Karev?"
"Just do it!" Alex repeated in stern voice and Arizona looked at him with surprise. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes for a few seconds.
"Okay, I'm ready," she said when she opened her eyes again. Alex nodded his head and handed her the tablet.
Arizona looked at the digital chart in front of her, she made a few moves with her finger and then gasped, "It was Sofia..." she whispered, "It was Sofia... it was premature, what happened!?"
"Arizona, I can't tell you, I might give you too much info."
"Why does everybody keep on telling me that!" Arizona yelled in frustration.
Alex sighed, "Look, this is too big and too private, if anyone's gonna tell you what happened, it has to be Callie, it's not my place Arizona."
"Right," Arizona commented in a whisper as she kept on inspecting the chart before her. "Please take me home Alex, I need to see Sofia," she said with tears in her eyes.
"Of course," Alex said and took the tablet from Arizona's hands. "I'll be right back," he said and hurried inside to leave the tablet.
Arizona sat outside and stared in front of her, a million things rushing through her head. "How do I not remember this?" she whispered as she heard Alex speak behind her.
"Okay, let's go!"
On the way across the street they didn't talk at all. Alex decided to let Arizona process the news.
When Callie opened the door she felt huge relief, "Arizona, it's late, I got worried, you weren't answering my calls!"
Alex spoke instead of Arizona, "There was an emergency surgery, she stayed up in the gallery and helped out," he explained as Arizona pushed the wheelchair deeper inside the living room.
"Where's Sofia?" she asked. "I need to see her," she said, her voice trembling.
Callie's face formed a puzzled look. "She was falling asleep in my arms so I put her to bed."
Alex moved closer to Callie and spoke in low voice, "There was a patient, 23 weeks pregnant, we had to deliver the baby, she remembered something from the past, you know, with Sofia… so I showed her Sofia's chart, sorry, she… I just… I couldn't… she needed me to be her friend…" he whispered.
"Stop treating me like I'm made of glass!" Arizona snapped.
"Sorry, you're right, I just told Callie what happened, I'll leave you two alone," he said and stepped out.
Callie closed the door slowly and turned to Arizona.
"Are you okay?" Callie asked warily.
"Callie, I need to see her, and I'm a bit tired from all the exercises today so I need you to help me, please," Arizona whispered as tears threatened to roll down her cheeks.
Callie nodded her head and walked silently to Arizona, she helped her get out of the chair and they walked quietly to Sofia's room.
Sofia was sleeping soundly and as Arizona watched her small chest rise up and down her chin trembled and she could not stop the tears from falling anymore. Callie wrapped her arm around Arizona's shoulder and squeezed it.
Arizona suddenly turned around and left Callie's embrace as she headed towards the kitchen.
"Arizona, be careful!" Callie whispered behind her and rushed after her.
Arizona walked towards the kitchen, using the furniture to get there faster and took the bottle of red wine that was lying on the counter. She had already started filling a glass when Callie appeared behind her.
Callie immediately jumped close to her. "Arizona, what are you doing!? You're still on medication!"
"To hell with medication! I am tired of all this!" Arizona screamed in desperation as her hand trembled.
Callie moved closer and took the glass from her hand.
"Callie, I want to have a glass of wine!" Arizona said raising her voice.
"Well you can't! I won't let you!" Callie replied almost yelling as well.
Arizona felt the pressure in her chest. She fought hard to stay in control but the rush of emotions was too overwhelming as tears developed in her eyes and she started sobbing. Callie stepped closer and wrapped her arms around Arizona holding her tight as her own eyes watered.
"She almost died…" Arizona whispered through sobs.
"You saved her," Callie said softly. "She's here because you gave her her first breath…"
"I saw Sofia take her first breath and I don't remember it…" Arizona whispered, "I mean I don't remember it was her, I don't remember her when she was tiny. I read her file but I don't remember any of that, I don't remember the first time I held her, I don't remember the first time she squeezed my finger, I don't remember the first time she smiled at me…" Arizona spoke as her chin trembled.
"Sofia was one week old when I first got to see her…" Callie whispered sadly, hoping it would ease the pain that Arizona felt.
Arizona's mouth dropped open. "What?" she managed to utter in shock and looked at Callie with tears in her eyes as Callie continued.
"And whenever I think about that week my heart hurts because I wasn't there with her…" Callie whispered. "But you were, and you will remember, you just remembered giving her life, you will remember the rest as well…"
Arizona wiped off her cheeks and bit her lip. "What happened Callie?" she asked, her voice still trembling. "Please tell me what happened, I read that she also had a heart surgery."
Callie silently nodded her head. "Let's sit down."
They walked over to the sofa and sat down as Callie continued.
"There was an accident…, we were in a car crash and I had chest and head injuries, and they had to deliver Sofia."
"That must have been severe for them to deliver so early… Were you badly injured?"
"I spent three months in hospital…"
"My God!" Arizona gasped as she placed her hand over her mouth.
"I had a heart surgery like Sofia, I have a scar like Sofia…" Callie explained.
Arizona's eyes filled with tears again.
"But we are both fine now, everything is fine," Callie reassured quickly.
"Can I see it… the scar…?" Arizona asked.
Callie chuckled, "I would have to take my top off and we're not there yet," she teased and Arizona laughed softly through tears.
"So you know exactly what it's like to not be able to walk on your own, and what it's like to need help and be off work too long, don't you?"
"Yeah," Callie whispered, "I needed a lot of physio, I couldn't even hold Sofia until she was 7 weeks old."
"Oh Callie…" Arizona said with sadness in her voice.
"But I survived, we survived, and everything is fine now, so you know, you can stop copying the head trauma, and physio and long recovery, we've already been through that," she joked wiping her tears off.
Arizona laughed through her tears.
"God I wish I could have some wine!" she said as she rested her head against the top of the sofa.
Callie smiled, "I'll have tea with you instead," she offered.
Arizona smiled back. "Thank you, yeah let's have some tea."
"Okay," Callie said and got up to make some tea. "So you wanna tell me what happened? How did you remember?" she asked.
Arizona sighed heavily, "I was in the gallery, observing the surgery, I just wanted to see some action you know, see something I would be doing in that OR if I was back to work. And the words they spoke just triggered something and I suddenly felt like I was in a tunnel, the same words echoing in my head but coming from a different voice, and the sounds from below started mixing with the scene that was playing in my head. And I saw a baby in front of me, now I know it was Sofia, and she wasn't breathing, and didn't have a heartbeat, and I remembered I told them to push 9 cc's of L.R., point 0.5 cc's of EPI and .5 of Bicarb and it worked, Sofia's heart started beating so I told Karev to do the same and it worked as well. But I didn't know it was Sofia until Karev showed me her file… he didn't want to at first… but I snapped at him… and then he showed it to me…"
"Actually, I was planning on telling you tonight," Callie admitted.
"You were?"
"Yeah, your mom reminded me that you will end up seeing Sofia's scar at some point soon and that it would be better if I told you what happened before you saw it, so I went to talk to Amelia about it this morning and asked if it was okay to tell you."
Arizona sighed heavily, "Are there more things like this? Should I make sure I don't turn into an alcoholic once I can have some wine?"
Callie laughed softly, "Nothing this big, the worst is out of the way," she said with a smile and gave Arizona her cup of tea.
"God, I feel exhausted…" Arizona commented before she took a sip of tea.
"I can sleep here tonight, so you can get some rest and…"
Arizona removed the cup from her lips and looked at Callie, "No, please, I don't want to sleep alone…" she interrupted.
Callie stopped talking and looked at Arizona.
"You both almost died… just having you sit here next to me makes me feel less stressed about it," Arizona explained. "If I'm alone I won't sleep at all… I'll just keep on wanting to go to Sofia's room to make sure she is breathing… so please keep me company…"
Callie smiled, "Okay…"
"Okay," Arizona said and took another sip of her tea, "I'll go take a shower and finish the tea in bed," she said softly.
"Okay, I need to finish some things up and then I'll come to bed soon," Callie informed as Arizona got up and walked to the bedroom.
Callie closed her eyes, "She remembered…" she whispered softly and smiled.
Half an hour later Arizona was sitting in bed. Day two, it is day two that Callie will spend the night sleeping next to me, she thought while pretending to read her book but she couldn't really focus.
"You are sure about this?" Callie asked entering the room.
"Yes, I'm sure, I slept like a baby last night," Arizona explained. Well at least when I wasn't awake distracted by your body lying next to me, she thought. "And you seem much less tired, so you need this bed as well."
"Thank you," Callie said with a smile, "I actually do, today my back wasn't killing me at all."
"You should have told me that the sofa was uncomfortable," Arizona protested.
"Well, I figured this must be really weird for you, so I just wanted to make it less weird."
"Well, true it was weird in the beginning but now I've known you for almost a month, things are different," Arizona said as Callie got into bed.
Callie turned to her side and faced Arizona. She remembered her conversation with Mark and thought for a few seconds before she spoke.
"So, umm… I was thinking something… err… would you like to have a date with me?" Callie asked warily.
"A date?" Arizona repeated slowly.
"Yes… err… I mean…" Callie started, "…instead of waiting for you to start remembering things we could start creating new memories… that is if you would like to get to know me better… like that… I mean… it's fine if you are not interested, I mean… it's fine if you don't find me attractive…" she stuttered.
"Callie…," Arizona interrupted placing her finger on Callie's lips and instantly feeling her finger burn at the electrifying touch so she removed it quickly. "…I'd love to have a date with you," she managed to whisper.
"You would?" Callie asked in surprise.
"Yes I would," Arizona confirmed with a smile.
Callie smiled broadly, "Great! So a date tomorrow."
"How exactly do you plan to do this? We can't leave Sofia alone."
"Umm, well we can have a date here in the apartment," Callie suggested.
Arizona smiled, "Okay," she said and made herself more comfortable in bed. They lay there not speaking as the silence filled the room. Callie could hear Arizona breathing and she felt like Arizona wanted to say something but was hesitating.
Arizona felt nervous because of everything that had happened but she wanted to be close to Callie. Learning about what happened to Sofia and Callie really affected her and for some reason she just wanted to have Callie close by and be sure she is okay. She kept on thinking about something and wondered if she should ask Callie or not.
"So… how would we normally fall asleep?" Arizona finally asked, her fingers nervously playing with the cover.
A smile appeared in the corner of Callie's lips. She turned her head and faced Arizona whose cheeks had started showing traces of pink. Callie was not used to seeing Arizona nervous or shy, she was always so confident and straightforward, and it was so different to see her hesitate in her attempts to get closer to Callie. Arizona closed her eyes to break the intensity she was feeling, having Callie's body so close and her eyes looking straight into her own.
"I just…" Arizona whispered, "I'm trying to remember and I feel like it's right there… the memory… but I can't seem to reach it…"
Callie had to use all her will power to stop herself from leaning forward and letting her lips touch Arizona's. Every inch of her body wanted to kiss her, wanted to get lost in those lips again and pull her close but she knew she could confuse and scare Arizona if she did that. So instead, she tenderly tucked Arizona's hair behind her ear and whispered softly.
"Well, how about you turn around," she said with a smile.
Arizona opened her eyes, hesitating, not sure where this was going.
Callie tried her best to reassure Arizona with her smile. "Would you like me to show you?" she asked softly, trying to make sure her voice would not give away the desire that was rushing through her body. "I can show you how we would fall asleep," she clarified, "…if you want…"
"Okay," Arizona whispered and slowly turned around, she closed her eyes and when she heard Callie's voice again she felt her body react with a tremble and her breath become shallow.
"First we would kiss…" Callie whispered and closed her eyes. "You would place your palm on my cheek and I would wrap my hand around your waist, and we would let our lips meet in a prolonged kiss…"
Arizona tried to focus on her own breathing but as much as she tried she couldn't get her body to inhale fully.
"Then one of us would turn around and the other would wrap their arm around. So if we were like this, I would wrap my arm around you. You would exhale slowly and pull my hand closer. We would wish each other goodnight and…" Callie stopped mid-sentence as her eyes got filled with tears.
"And…?" Arizona asked in a shaky whisper.
Callie took a breath and cleared her throat to prevent her voice from trembling.
"We would say I love you, before relaxing in each other's arms," Callie managed to finish and closed her eyes remembering the numerous nights when they would fall asleep like that.
Arizona listened to the rhythm of Callie's breath behind her as her heart beat fast in her chest, waiting to feel Callie's arm around her, wanting to feel it but also being scared of the effect it would have on her.
Callie was still lost in her thoughts when Arizona's voice brought her back to reality.
"You said you would show me…" Arizona whispered, hesitation evident in her voice but mixed with something Callie was not sure she pin-pointed correctly. It was almost as if… but Callie didn't let her mind go further. You're just hoping too much Torres that she wants this too, she thought to herself and forced herself to speak.
"Right, yes…" she mumbled and moved her body closer, "I will wrap my arm around you now…" she warned, wanting to make sure Arizona would not freak out.
"Okay," she heard Arizona whisper and then slowly placed her arm around Arizona, tucking her knees behind Arizona's and pushing her body even closer.
Arizona stopped breathing as she analyzed everything that was going on in her body, pulse racing, shallow breath, clenched stomach muscles, all signs of arousal, Arizona thought and when she felt Callie's breath on her neck, her heart started thumping even faster inside her chest.
"And I would pull your hand like this?" she asked and took Callie's hand and pushed it tighter against her own chest.
"Ye-ah," Callie whispered and swallowed hard.
"And we would fall asleep like this?" Arizona asked not letting go of Callie's hand.
"Umm-hmm," Callie answered unable to speak more. She felt Arizona's heart thumping in her chest and she wondered if Arizona was scared and would freak out any second now or if it meant that she was… Don't go there, you'll just set yourself up for a disappointment, Callie started another monologue in her head as she suddenly started getting nervous. I shouldn't push her too much, she thought and started pulling away but Arizona quickly grabbed her hand and pulled it back, pressing it tightly against her chest again.
"It's okay, I feel comfortable… it's nice," Arizona whispered and felt Callie's body slowly start to relax. They lay like that for a few minutes and Arizona soon heard Callie's breath even out as she let the rhythm of Arizona's heart lull her into sleep. Arizona on the other hand kept her eyes open, she couldn't close them because when she did, Callie's lips pressing against her own and Callie's fingers roaming along her skin was the only scene that appeared in front of her eyes, and she was still trying hard to steady the beating of her own heart. After a while her eyelids gave in as tiredness took over and she finally fell asleep, wishing to feel the touch of Callie's lips on her own.
A/N: I did consider a kiss in this chapter, when Arizona couldn't have wine I wrote a second version where she felt frustrated and angry and had to do something so she ended up kissing Callie passionately, but it completely disrupted the rest of the chapter and the last scene which I wrote months ago just wouldn't have worked if that kiss had happened, and I really wanted to keep that ending scene in bed... So, I'm sorry, but you will just have to wait for the kiss a bit longer ;-).
Also does the description of the first scene fall into M rating (you know breast and nipples being mentioned)? I never know the fine line between T and M…