NOTE: After a very very very long debate that I've had with myself over the past couple of months, I've decided to scrap the entire "FT Plays DBZK" idea that I had going. Honestly, the idea would've been way more work than necessary and it would be a rehash of most things they've already seen before getting to the Buu Saga. So, I'm going to go with the very original idea that I've been denying you guys of all this time. They're going to watch the Buu Saga, but in bits and pieces. As in it'll be moments instead of entire episodes, but they'll be in order and with enough detail for them to get what's going on. Sorry, for being an indecisive ass this entire time and hope you guys like this change, since I will not change this decision at all. I promise.
Enjoy and Review!
Chapter 68: Advanced Geometry
(cut to Krillin flying in the sky looking for Bulma's plane)
KRILLIN: Huh? (sees a twinkle in the distance) Oh, hey! It's Bulma! HEY, BULMA!
(from inside the plane, Baby Trunks starts babbling incoherently, catching Bulma's attention)
BULMA: Huh? What is it, Trunks? (Baby Trunks is seen pointing forward, trying to say something)
"Aw! He's trying to speak!" The women cooed at the baby.
KRILLIN: Bulma!
BABY TRUNKS: Krilli! Krillin!
"He's speaking words!" Yukino said.
"Why does it have to be Krillin's name though?" Sting questions
"Because he sees Krillin," Lector said.
BULMA: (not noticing Krillin approaching the plane) Whatcha pointing at, little guy?
KRILLIN: ...Bulma?
"Move, Krillin!" Lucy shouted.
BULMA: (finally notices) Huh?
KRILLIN: BULMA, STOP THE- (WHAM! Krillin hits the windshield of Bulma's plane and groans)
Everyone winced at Krillin getting hit by Bulma's plane.
BULMA: OH, MY GOD!
KRILLIN: (muffled) Found ya...
"At least there's no blood…" Yukino winced.
"Sadly there's no blood," Minerva said.
(Krillin Owned Count: 32)
[OPENING SEQUENCE]
(cut to Cell, having just achieved Semi-Perfect Form, his body crackling with electricity)
"It went from creepy to down right ugly," Laxus spat. The rest of the audience agreed with Laxus' statement.
ANDROID 16: Come with me if you want to live. (starts running towards Android 18)
ANDROID 18: Did you just-? (Android 16 grabs Android 18's arm and tries to make a run for it, but Semi-Perfect Cell flies ahead of them and blocks their path. Android 16 lightly pushes Android 18 behind him.)
"Crap! They can't get away now!" Happy said.
SEMI-PERFECT CELL: (walks up to the ocean and looks at his reflection in the water) (speaking in a deep, baritone voice) Hmm... So this is what lips feel like…
"What is that voice!?" Juvia did a mental backup.
"Not sure if I prefer this one or the old one," Gray said.
SEMI-PERFECT CELL: (begins playing with his new lips by making blubbering sounds, then chuckles) Oh, that's fun!
"Pretty damn childish," Gajeel said.
"And just weird as all hell," Bickslow added.
SEMI-PERFECT CELL: (starts making motor-boating sounds with his mouth until Android 16 punches him flatly in the face, which does nothing. Cell responds by making a muffled motor-boating sound and then blasts Android 16 with a close-range Big Bang Attack, sending him flying.)
"NO, 16!" Wendy cried out in concern.
ANDROID 16: (as he gets sent flying by Cell's attack) AGGGGGGGH!
ANDROID 18: 16! Are you okay?!
ANDROID 16: (gets up as it reveals a part of his head being completely destroyed) My cranial structure has received serious damage. (head sparks) How are you?
"He needs a healer! If I was there maybe I could heal him!?" Wendy shouted, frantic.
"Can you even heal machines?" Romeo asked.
"I'LL TRY!" A dark aura emitted from around her, scaring the poor boy.
Mira watched the scene with a proud smile, happy that Wendy has taken her teachings well.
SEMI-PERFECT CELL: I'd concern yourself less with him and start focusing on what's important... (gestures to himself) Me…
"I'd rather never focus on you," Evergreen spoke with disgust.
ANDROID 18: You! Give me back my brother, you fish-lipped asshole!
SEMI-PERFECT CELL: Now, now, being hurtful isn't going to bring him back.
ANDROID 18: You're a monster!
SEMI-PERFECT CELL: And he was delicious!
"You could actually taste him!? Actually...I don't want to think about that," Macao gagged at the thought.
ANDROID 18: And you honestly think I'd let you do the same to me?
SEMI-PERFECT CELL: To be honest, your compliance isn't a factor.
"She doesn't have much of a chance if neither 17, Piccolo, or 16 could kill Cell," Jellal said. The criminal mage had to admit that if anything like Cell ever appeared on Earthland, he nor the Crime Sorciere would be able to stop it.
ANDROID 18: Well, then... (holds her hand over her chest) I'll just have to do this!
(pause...)
SEMI-PERFECT CELL: (sounding confused) ...Give yourself a boob exam?
"No, I'm pretty sure she means that she's going to blow herself up," Freed corrected.
"But, what about Krillin!? And their love!?" Juvia asked, concerned.
"It was never gonna be a thing," He said looking at the water woman.
"You believe in their love, right Gray!?" Juvia looked towards her love.
"Uh, s-sure?" The ice mage sounded very unsure.
ANDROID 18: No. Explode my bomb.
SEMI-PERFECT CELL: (looking even more confused) In your boob?
ANDROID 18: No, in my chest-
SEMI-PERFECT CELL: (puts on a rather amused expression) Booby bomb!
"Did it regress in mental age when it transformed? Or is that the Krillin talking?" Levy questioned.
"Do you really think Krillin would say something like that?" Lucy asked. All Levy did was give her a look and Lucy sighed in defeat.
ANDROID 18: I'm serious!
SEMI-PERFECT CELL: (chuckling) Okay, okay. (regains composure) But before we do something we're all going to regret... let's see what our brother thinks.
"Wait what?" Meredy raises an eyebrow.
ANDROID 18: W-What?
(an image of Android 17 appears above Semi-Perfect Cell)
ANDROID 17: Yo, shiggy-diggy, what's up, my sizzle?
"Lord no…" Kagura trembled.
ANDROID 18: (stares in disbelief) Oh, my God...
ANDROID 17: Yo, don't blow your tits, sis, that's whack! You gotta chill yourself before you kill yourself!
"As much as I find this absolutely hilarious, it doesn't know them very well," Gildarts says.
"To be fair, it just met them," Makarov responded.
ANDROID 18: This can't actually be real.
ANDROID 17: Oh, it's real. And it's happenin'! So what you need to do is calm down, and get all up in Cell! It's downright tubular in here! We got candy and puppies and-
ANDROID 18: You know absolutely nothing about us, do you?
"And who says tubular?" Natsu questioned.
(the image of Android 17 disappears)
SEMI-PERFECT CELL: Okay, to be fair, I just met you.
"It's treating this entire thing like a game!" Erza growled.
ANDROID 18: This isn't a game!
SEMI-PERFECT CELL: Oh, but it is! All you have to do is kill yourself before I catch you! It's like tag... for keeps.
"Not the type of tag that I'd ever like to play," Lector shivered.
SEMI-PERFECT CELL: And now with both Piccolo and 16 out of the way... we can play. (begins to advance towards Android 18, who tightly clutches her boo- I mean breas- chest! Yeah, that was it.)
?: NOT YET!
"TIEN!?"
"That's right, he was flying over to the fight. But, what does he even plan to do?" Levy asked.
SEMI-PERFECT CELL: Huh? (looks up and sees Tien Shinhan floating above) (chuckling) Oh, my God! It's Tien! What, was Krillin busy?
"Actually yes, he is," Sting answered.
SEMI-PERFECT CELL: (Tien angrily clasps both his hands together. The semi-perfect being looks up at him) Come on, buddy, you can't be serious. With your power level? You're no Android, you're no Namekian, and you're certainly no Super Saiyan! You're just human.
"And what's so wrong about that?" Jellal glared. Humans may be greedy and selfish, but they're also compasonite and headstrong. It was the power of humans that brought down Acnologia's Dragon form and it was also a guild of humans that brought down Tartaros, a guild full of demons. "Never underestimate humans."
TIEN: Yeah? (puts his hands together by the tips of his fingers, forming a triangle in the center) Well, you know what? F**k power levels! (the "triangle" zooms on Semi-Perfect Cell) F**k Super Saiyans! AND F**K YOU! (the "triangle" is now locked on to his adversary) SHIN-KIKOHOU! (fires a Neo Tri-Beam at the synthetic serpent)
SEMI-PERFECT CELL: Oh, that's adora- (gets hit by the blast) SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!
The guild erupted into cheers and shouts of applause of Tien blasting Cell into the ground. Jellal smiled proudly at Tien's fighting spirit.
(The force of the blast throws Android 18 to the ground. From above, it reveals a crater in a shape of a square being formed on the ground)
TIEN: (looks over to Android 18) YOU!
ANDROID 18: Huh?
TIEN: BLOW YOURSELF UP OR LEAVE; I DON'T CARE WHICH!
"He's pissed," Romeo whistled.
ANDROID 18: (nods while stammering quickly) Yeah, okay.
SEMI-PERFECT CELL: (starts flying out of the hole) UPSTART! TRICLOPS! BITCH!
TIEN: KIKOHOU! (blasts Cell back down into the hole with another Neo Tri-Beam)
SEMI-PERFECT CELL: GODDAMN-! (blubbers incoherently)
They laughed at seeing Cell get blasted back once more.
ANDROID 18: Come on, 16, we have to go!
ANDROID 16: Where is 17?
ANDROID 18: He's gone, buddy.
ANDROID 16: That is sad... I am sad…
"I'm sorry," Wendy apologized. To her this really cemented the fact that these androids are different from the future ones. 17 didn't deserve to be killed by Cell.
ANDROID 18: We both are. (a flash of light is shown as Tien repeatedly blasts the Bio-Android down into the crater)
SEMI-PERFECT CELL: (tries flying out of the hole) Stop it! (gets blasted) STOP IT! (gets blasted again) ANGRYYYYYYY!
TIEN: KI! KO! HOOOOOOOOU!
"He's still going…" Levy gasped at the sight. It felt as if they could feel the raw energy that Tien was emanating into his blasts as if all of his hatred and frustration towards the world was being thrusted into his attacks.
(cut over to Kame House with Chiaotzu walking outside)
CHIAOTZU: Tien...
MASTER ROSHI: Jeez, I think I can hear that...
TIEN: (from far-off) KIKOHOU! (explosion)
SEMI-PERFECT CELL: (from far-off) FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!
"How much power is he putting into those blasts!?" Meredy gaped.
"Clearly enough to keep Cell back," Jellal answered.
(cut to The Lookout)
GOKU: Oh, boy...
GOHAN: Is that...Tenshinhan?!
GOKU: Yeah. And he is nettled. Super-nettled.
"That's one way to say that Tien's beyond pissed off," Freed answered to everyone's confusion.
GOHAN: Uh...
MR. POPO: He's gonna die.
"Why!?" Yukino shouted.
"Tien's attack consumes his life energy. By spamming it this much against Cell is literally killing him," Levy explained.
"Why!? Distracting Cell shouldn't require him to kill himself!" Yukino protested.
"Because he no longer cares," Laxus answered. The celestial mage turned to look at him. "You heard what Tien said prior to blasting Cell into the ground. He no longer cares if he dies distracting Cell, just as long as he can make some difference."
GOKU: Probably...
(back on the battlefield, Tien continues to barrage Semi-Perfect Cell with Neo Tri-Beams)
TIEN: (fires a blast with each syllable as the Semi- Perfect being groans with each syllable) KIKOHOU! (slows down) KIKOHOU! (now shouting very slowly, a sign of exhaustion) KI! KO! HOU!
Levy thinks back to what she said prior about the humans basically being useless. Tien and Krillin have proved to be useful whenever help was needed and if their speculation of the Z-Fighters being real was true. Then, she'd apologize if she were able to.
(Tien stops firing Neo Tri-Beams and there is a moment of silence)
SEMI-PERFECT CELL: (from inside the crater) (panting) Are ya done?! Because I'm coming out... and I swear to God, if you do that again... I will be SO FREAKING NETTLED! (starts flying out of the crater)
TIEN: (calmly) Kikohou.
SEMI-PERFECT CELL: AWW, DAMN IT! (The ultimate Android is slammed into another crater by another Neo Tri-Beam)
"YEAH! GO TIEN!"
"MANLY FIGHT TIEN!"
"KICK CELL'S ASS!"
(cut to Kame House)
YAMCHA: He's really going all-out...
CHIAOTZU: His body won't last long... The Kikohou just takes too much energy!
YAMCHA: Yeah, didn't he do that when you, uh...? When you...?
CHIAOTZU: (feigning amazement) Died, yes... (now sounding annoyed) Jesus, we've literally all done it!
"Everyone there has died before," Levy remembered.
CHI-CHI: I haven't.
"Oh right, Chi-Chi," Levy said.
CHIAOTZU: Give it some time, you're hanging with the right crowd.
"I would hope that she doesn't die," Erza said.
YAMCHA: What should we even do now? I feel so helpless...!
"That's exactly how Tien felt just a few moments ago, but unlike you he decided to get off his ass and risk his life to do something," Gajeel nodded his head disapprovingly.
MASTER ROSHI: Listen! Sometimes you gotta know when to hold 'em, and know when to fold 'em. And right now, it's foldin' time...
(cut to inside Kame House)
MASTER ROSHI: (from outside) Pig! Grab M'Dick!
"Goddammit," Lucy sighed.
OOLONG: (appears from behind the couch) Please tell me you mean the submarine!
MASTER ROSHI: Heh!
(cut back to the battlefield as it shows a large explosion)
TIEN: (thinking) Huh... Not dead yet. That's weir- Ahh, there we go... (drops down from the sky and collapses on the ground as an enraged Semi-Perfect Cell starts emerging from the crater)
SEMI-PERFECT CELL: You know, if you want my personal opinion, Kikohou is a pretty sad choice of last words. But to be fair, (prepares to kill Tien with a Big Bang Attack) it's far from the worst decision you've made today.
"Dammit! There's nothing Tien can do!" Natsu grunted.
"I know he was prepared to die, but that doesn't mean I want him to die!" Lisanna shouted.
"I would rather not have him die. He's my favorite," Minerva grunted.
TIEN: (weakly) Kiko-f**k yourself...!
"Those are a better choice of last words," Gildarts said.
SEMI-PERFECT CELL: Aw, see? That's the spirit.
(cut to The Lookout)
MR. POPO: HE DEAD!
GOHAN: No! We can't just let him die like this! (to Goku) You gotta save him!
GOKU: But I can't get him in time! There's no way I could move fast enough to grab him, get out, and- (pauses for a moment... and then disappears using Instant Transmission with a popping sound)
Erza felt like slapping herself in the face 100 times for what she just witnessed. Maybe she'll just slap Natsu 100 times as a punishment next time he does something stupid.
GOHAN: ...Did he just remember he can do that?
MR. POPO: Your father's an idiot.
"Understatement of the century," Lucy said.
(back on the battlefield, another popping sound is heard and Semi-Perfect Cell's eyes grow wide in surprise)
SEMI-PERFECT CELL: Huh? Goku?
GOKU: Hey, sorry, I just-I'm just here for my buddy! I'll be gone in a second! Let you get back to your business.
SEMI-PERFECT CELL: Hold on, what?
"That's right! Cell doesn't know about Goku teleporting!" Levy realized.
GOKU: Oh hey, Piccolo's alive, too! (shows Piccolo washed up on the side of the island and gurgling)
Mira felt her body go limp in her seat as she saw Piccolo gurgling in the water. A sense of relief passed through her body, happy to see that Piccolo survived.
GOKU: Ooh, little water-logged there, buddy? (runs up to Piccolo)
SEMI-PERFECT CELL: I blew a hole in him! How durable is he? ...How durable am I? Questions for later…
"How about I eradicate your body with electricity and we see just how durable," Laxus grunted.
"Or I burn you to a crisp," Natsu grinned.
GOKU: (grabs Piccolo and Tien) Okay, I'm about done here! See you tomorrow! Oh, and, uh, by the way, Cell? (sounding extremely dark) ...You're gonna die. (disappears, making the same popping sound as before)
Goku's words unsettled everyone in the audience.
"Has he ever been that dark before?" Carla asked.
"The last time would be when he fought Frieza, but that was just unbridled fury. Not cold and empty," Erza answered.
SEMI-PERFECT CELL: (looking completely perplexed and surprised) Huh? What-? How-? Why-? (screaming) I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS!
"You know how I feel now," Levy said.
(cut to Krillin and Bulma)
BULMA: And you're sure you're okay?
KRILLIN: Bulma, you know what I've been hit by-I'm fine! Now, you got the detonator?
BULMA: Yeah, right here! (hands Krillin the remote) Now listen, its signal is weak, so you'll have to be within ten meters of the Androids.
KRILLIN: So what you're saying is I have to get close…
Juvia couldn't stop the devious grin that came onto her face.
BULMA: Eh, thirty feet isn't THAT close...
KRILLIN: Oh, I'm gonna get all up in that.
BULMA: Well, you could use some protection, then.
"Excuse me?" Kagura raised an eyebrow.
KRILLIN: Pardon?
BULMA: I made you all battle-suits, like Vegeta's!
"Oh thank goodness that's what she meant," Kagura sighed in relief.
KRILLIN: Oh! Well, thanks, but I probably won't need it. I'm pretty good about pulling out before I get into trouble. Besides, I tried one on Namek, but I got a huge hole in it.
Lucy didn't bother to comment, her deadpan stare gave it all away.
BULMA: ...Okay, then! I'll just hand them out to everyone else. See you later!
KRILLIN: Thanks, Bulma! (Bulma takes off) Huh. This, uh...this remote's a lot heavier than I expected... Huh…
"Wait but that's really small. How is it heavy?" Romeo questioned.
"Because Krillin just realized that he has to kill 18. The woman he fell in love with," Jellal answered. Suddenly the atmosphere in the room grew tense.
(cut to The Lookout)
GOHAN: Are you two okay?
TIEN: Yeah. We may not have Dragon Balls, but I guess Senzu Beans are a close second.
GOKU: It's a good thing I showed up when I did. Cell was about to 69 ya!
GOHAN: 86, Dad. 86.
GOKU: I'm not good with numbers.
"We can tell," Minerva cut in.
PICCOLO: I'll admit, that was pretty ballsy, but all you did was stall him! Now he's alone to hunt down Android 18, and we don't have anyone with the strength to stop him!
"It's funny that you say that. Because there is a certain Saiyan Prince and his half-breed son who are going to emerge from that chamber soon," Levy smirked.
GOKU: Huh?
MR. POPO: Your worthless maggot friends are coming out!
GOHAN: Or do we?!
GOKU: No, Gohan, we haven't gone in yet.
"N-No..he...was...AGH NEVERMIND!" Carla gave up.
PICCOLO: ...Wow. Really, Goku?
(shift over to the door of the Hyperbolic Time Chamber opening with Trunks walking out along with Vegeta, with both of their clothes being tattered)
"Aw! Trunks looks so handsome. A dashing prince charming!" Mira gushed.
GOKU: Hey, Trunks! Wow, neat hair!
TRUNKS: (thinking) Oh, my God. First piece of positive reinforcement in over a year! Respond appropriately! (out loud) Thank you, I grew it myself. (thinking) DAMN IT!
"I actually wonder what Vegeta was saying to him, but then again we can all guess," Gajeel said.
GOKU: Huh. That's funny.
TRUNKS: (thinking) ...Roll with it.
"Just like when they first met," Freed said.
GOKU: And hey, Vegeta! Wow, you guys sure got strong, huh?
VEGETA: That's right, Kakarot. And you wouldn't believe just how much. You see, while I was training in the depths of the Hyperbolic Time Chamber, I looked deep within myself, and- (through Goku's POV) Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, pride, blah, blah, prince of all, blah, blah, blah, Super Saiyan. Blah, blah, blah.
The guild burst into laughter from Goku's perspective of Vegeta.
"If this is how Goku sees Vegeta, then I find it pretty cute," Lisanna giggled.
VEGETA: (in reality) And through all of that, I have ascended! That's right, I have reached a new level! Do you hear me, Kakarrot? I am finally stronger than you!
GOKU: Neat!
VEGETA: F**K YOU!
The laughter increased by 10 fold at Vegeta basically getting dissed.
[ENDING SEQUENCE]
[STINGER]
(shows Semi-Perfect Cell still making motor-boating sounds with his new lips)
"Ew," Juvia said as she watched Cell.
Chapter End
NOTE: I've been planning lots of things for these characters. Biggest example was Mira absolutely loathing Piccolo, but over time she starts to warm up to him. And as you saw in the last chapter, she expressed lots of anger for his "death". Same thing for Levy thinking the humans wouldn't be able to contribute much, but then seeing Tien stall Cell as he did. There's still more to come as we go forward towards the end.