Chapter 47
Shaken
"Over here! Come quick, this one needs help!" a man's voice cried out, barely audible over the biting winter winds of Taris, rousing a little girl who used what she believed to be the last of her strength to force her eyes to open. Her lips were parched and cracked, with dried blood caked upon the surface of her skin. Too weak to maintain her gaze upon the man who hurriedly began to inspect her vital signs, she felt herself being scooped up by a pair of strong arms before being handed over to another.
She glanced up to see the hazel eyes of a dark-skinned male, his warm smile giving her a sense of assurance that he was indeed a good man. "Hi there," he said, "My name's Gadon, Gadon Thek. How about you?"
"A-Audrey Girard," she murmured weakly – or, rather, believed that she did, for she didn't even have the strength to tell whether or not she enunciated her own words properly.
"I didn't quite catch that. You poor thing," he replied, carefully taking a knee to steady himself as he continued to hold her with one arm while using the other to pull out a water canteen from his jacket pocket. Opening the lid, he held the tip to Audrey's mouth as she gratefully began to drink, albeit slowly due to her lethargic state. "By the way, I'd like you to meet Zaerdra," Gadon continued, looking over his shoulder at another member of his party. His companion brought forth a small purple Twi'lek child who peered shyly at Audrey while half-hiding behind his leg. "We rescued her this morning, just a few hours ago. I'm sure the two of you will make fine friends."
Although she was comforted by the thought of finally being able to make a friend after so long, Audrey's mind was once again tormented by endless thirst. She went for the canteen once more, taking more large gulps before letting some water fall upon her face, clearing away blots of grime, dried blood and dirt.
-o-
Gadon…Zaerdra…
Stirred by the sensation of an icy-cold pool of water against her cheek, Audrey opened her eyes to find herself lying face-down along the bank of a small pond amidst an almost pitch-black forest. She winced and squeezed her eyes tightly shut when a cold wind blew across the landscape, gnawing at the lacerations on her legs and arms inflicted by the horrific beasts during the descent to the lower Shadowlands.
She scanned her surroundings, a creeping sense of panic emerging as she realized that she was completely alone. Grasping the datapad that lay clipped to the side of her utility belt, she saw that the commlink signal was too weak to exchange any messages with the others.
Still, she wasn't completely out of luck, as she remembered that each member carried a medpac as part of their personal gear in a rucksack. Sitting herself up, she reached around her back to remove the burdensome bag and rummaged for a moment, grabbing a kolto applicator spray out of a small white box. While nowhere near as effective as her Jedi companions' Force healing, the substance aided greatly by at least covering her cuts with a layer of protective gel, enough to prevent potential infection.
With her pain dulled, Audrey stood up again, forcing herself to continue on in spite of her aching legs. Her weapons were thankfully intact, but she knew that a vibroblade, dagger, hold-out blaster pistol and lightsaber were not the ideal tools to keep someone like her alive for long in the environment she was in.
"Shit," she muttered under her breath, after remembering that she didn't possess a tent for herself, as they were all being carried by the men during the trek down. She would have to locate the others quickly, or face dire consequences. Her heartbeat beginning to quicken, she picked up the pace and darted through the forest, determined to find what companions she could.
-o-
With one ruthless swing, Bastila severed in half the last of the katarns that had hounded her for what felt like miles since she set foot on the lower surface of the Shadowlands, after the previous larger beasts lost chase. As was the case on Tatooine, her clothes and face were covered with a stomach-turning amount of blood and other sorts of putrid substances that were spat out by the animals upon their deaths.
Finally able to have a moment of respite to catch her breath, she laid low, sitting at the bottom of a gentle slope that was covered by thick tree branches. She bemoaned the fact that she was now isolated, silently cursing to herself about how everything went wrong in such a short amount of time.
The memory of the great battle in the Tusken camp soon filled her mind. She recalled just how easy and how natural it felt to carve through those warriors after she had thrown away all of her previous inhibitions and fought by Revan's side. No-one to watch out for, no-one to lecture her about controlling her dark urges. Spurred on by her passion, she made full use of her desire to protect the one she cared about, just as he sought to do the same for her.
It just felt…right.
The frantic fall into the Shadowlands was a different story. Confined in such an unstable and narrow space that made it too dangerous to use both ends of her double-bladed lightsaber out of fear of potentially harming a companion in the process, she regretted not being able to do more to shield her friends from harm.
Having had a moment to compose herself, she rose to her feet to continue on, opting to stick to the dirt footpath created by a dried-up ravine in order to avoid the potential dangers of wandering in the bushes. She held her lightsaber with a deathly grip as her eyes darted left to right, the sweat pouring from the palms of her hand causing her hold to loosen just as it did against Calo Nord in the streets of Anchorhead.
To her great fortune, she stumbled across what appeared to be the entrance to a natural cave in the center of a rock formation. With no tent of her own and the night becoming deathly cold out in the open, she figured that her best chance was to hopefully find refuge in a chamber, so long as there were no predators lurking inside.
Taking a deep breath, she activated one end of her double-bladed lightsaber and walked in, poised at the ready to respond to whatever threat may present itself. As she ventured deeper, she was surprised that there was noticeably not a single hint of any animal odor, having originally been certain that there would have been beasts that made their lair inside.
The darkness of the cave was unlike anything she had experienced before. Despite the gleaming light of her lightsaber, the path before her was growing ever more dim, something she told herself shouldn't be happening. Suddenly, she could see in the distance what appeared to be cargo crates and an entire workstation filled with complex machinery arrayed in two rows along the walls of the cave, all brimming with energy and various indicators of activity.
"So here's the furthest checkpoint we've managed to set up down here," a man's voice spoke from far behind, prompting Bastila to quietly dart through the section until she found a side opening where she proceeded to hide, deactivating her lightsaber. "Beyond this point, we haven't had any luck. Katarns and asyyyriaks are one thing – past here, there are absolute monsters. Our boys simply don't have the means to take them down."
"And that's why you needed our help, is that correct?" a familiar voice replied, his tone causing Bastila's eyes to immediately widen and her heart to flutter with joy. She turned her feet to rush towards him, but stopped dead in her tracks when she heard the voice that followed.
"You will do well to not forget our deal," said the unmistakable voice of Darth Malak, albeit without the unsettling metallic tone for which he was known. "We are not here to slay these beasts in exchange for petty payment while you linger in the safety of this cave. You will accompany us to the last known location of this strange signal you have described."
"Of course, of course," the guide insisted as he passed by Bastila, who immediately backed herself up against the wall as best she could, although she was utterly unable to keep out of sight if they did so much as turn their heads. "I haven't forgotten the details. Geez, for a bunch of Jedi, you two are extremely demanding…"
Then she saw them. Although they had disguised themselves by donning lighter-colored and hooded Jedi robes, she could feel their essence through the Force. Flanked and followed by several Czerka hunters and mercenaries, Revan and Malak walked through the cave, undoubtedly in their search for the Star Map.
Suddenly without warning, Revan stopped just as he was about to pass by the crevasse where Bastila was hiding. Despite knowing in her heart that what she was seeing was surely nothing more than a vision, Bastila couldn't help but feel a strange mixture of dread and admiration upon getting a glimpse of the masked man who would be responsible for the deaths of billions, yet still spared her and Elena out of his deep love for them.
He turned his head ever so slightly to the left, paralyzing her in a momentary bout of fear. Then, against her own better judgement and pushed on by a power beyond her comprehension, Bastila began to walk towards him, her hand outstretched as if she was begging him to accept her by his side.
Jedi…Sith…None of it matters anymore.
I know what it is that I want.
I want to belong.
Somewhere. To someone.
My place is here.
With you.
Then, just as she was about to place a hand on Revan's shoulder, a blinding flash of light pierced throughout the entire cave, causing her to wince and look away. Seconds later, the shock having subsided, Bastila opened her eyes only to behold nothing but darkness. The previously blaring and lively machines were now little more than dead trash heaps, the cables and wires having been gnawed at by animals to the point of being irrecoverable. An unsettling amount of human bones filled the area, pushing her to continue on to get away from it all.
"You disappoint me," a familiar female voice echoed throughout the cave, sending chills up and down Bastila's spine as she froze, her eyes widening with fear.
"Who…who's there?" Bastila demanded. "Who are you?"
"You know who I am, Knight Shan," the woman hissed condescendingly. "I must say, I am not surprised at the fact that you've ended up here. Struggling. Unable to get results. Fighting yourself into a hole, and winding up all alone, cowering in fear. Failing again and again, no matter what you try. Then again, that is your nature, isn't it?"
"Enough! Show yourself!" she yelled, igniting both ends of her yellow lightsaber and ready to not only face, but utterly defeat her opponent.
Then, a blue lightsaber ignited in front of her, illuminating a pair of steely eyes that were as cold as they were mesmerizing. "I am here, Knight Shan. Are you satisfied?"
There she was, the one woman who persistently made Bastila feel inadequate in every way whenever she was in her presence. Her power, her influence, her position amongst the Jedi, her knowledge and her beauty…Bastila had always felt that she could never match her in any regard.
"M-Master Atris?" she stammered, taking a step backwards. "W-what? How?"
"It doesn't matter. Nothing matters now – your companions, your quest, your desire to help him retrace his steps or to redeem himself. I know that you feel it in your own heart: you become more corrupted with each passing day, and each time you lay your eyes upon him. You are destined to fail. Just as you always have...and always will."
"No," Bastila shook her head, glaring at the older Jedi Master. "No, you're wrong."
"Am I? Just look at you. Look how short you've fallen of the goals you've set out for yourselves. Look at the paltry little band that has accompanied you so far. Do you honestly think you'll succeed at anything except ensuring the death of the Republic? Four pitiful excuses for Jedi; a broken and scarred Republic pilot; a helpless young Twi'lek child and her inept protector; a Mandalorian who is now nothing but a wanderer; and two droids that are yet to prove themselves to be anything more than scrap metal."
Although she was initially taken aback by the insult, made worse by the fact that she had always viewed Atris in a negative light, Bastila stood her ground. "You may be right. We are indeed all failures in our own way, but you know what? Nobody is as great a failure as you, Atris."
The Council member's eyes narrowed, her rage beginning to simmer. "What?"
"Better to fight and fail time and time again, than to wallow in apathy and indecision like you. Revan and Juhani may have once fallen to the dark side; Elena is far from being the most capable with either a lightsaber or the Force; and I will no longer deny that my embracing of emotions and passion would see me expelled from the Jedi Order. But you? You sit alone amongst your precious books preaching and meditating, all the while people around you are fighting and dying day by day. You are worse than useless. You are nothing."
Her coolheaded persona shattered, Atris glared at Bastila as she raised her lightsaber, pointing it at the former Jedi. "You will take back that insult, Knight Shan. You will apologize. Immediately."
"You were the one who wanted to see Revan executed more than anyone," Bastila shot back, assuming a combat-ready stance. "For that, I will never forgive you. You were willing to order the death of a man who was once a good friend, all in the name of adhering to the rules of an Order that was willing to stand by while billions died. You have nothing to fight for – nothing to live for. You have always been alone. And you know what? You'll die alone."
"Enough!" Atris shouted, immediately surging forth with her lightsaber. Although she knew that there was no credible way for the real Atris to be facing her, Bastila took no chances. She promptly blocked a powerful diagonal strike from the Jedi Master, groaning under the sheer force of the impact. The countless bones lining the ground unsettled her movement, and the unwieldy length of her double-bladed lightsaber in the narrow cave corridor caused her to slowly back away in the face of Atris's ferocious attacks.
Seeing that Bastila was in rapid retreat, Atris resorted to a rapid one-handed form of Makashi, whittling down her enemy's defenses. Each time Bastila would mount a desperate counterattack, she would fall upon the impenetrable protection offered by Soresu, expertly deflecting whatever strikes came her way.
Soon enough, Bastila began to tire, feeling as if she was thrashing helplessly against a tidal wave of water that threatened to crash down upon her at any moment. After an unsuccessful attack that was repulsed by Atris following a vicious saber lock, she was sent flying through the air by the Force, yelping as her back thudded against the cave wall.
"You see, Knight Shan?" Atris mocked as she stood victorious over her. "It is you who are nothing. You think that love gives you strength? You must see the folly of it in your last moments. Now die."
At that moment, Atris drew her lightsaber back, aiming the tip straight for Bastila's heart. As expected, the former Jedi was powerless and defeated at her feet, ready to be disposed of just like all the others who had fallen before and brought disgrace to the Order.
But no. Bastila would not roll over and accept death. Not after what she had suffered and had dragged herself through. With a snarling glare, she deflected Atris's strike into the wall behind her with a deft swing, then reached out and struck at the Jedi Master. Atris groaned with shock as she stumbled backwards, her eyes wincing tightly shut as the blade barely missed her neck. She opened her eyes seconds later, only to become enraged as she saw that Bastila had sliced off the front bangs of her pristine silver hair which now lay on the ground.
No mercy, no quarter. Both now locked themselves into a fight to the death, swinging at each other with untold savagery. In stark contrast to the passive, quiet persona she assumed as a Council member and Chief Librarian of the Jedi Archives, Atris now fought like a ferocious beast that was hellbent on butchering her prey, unleashing the full fury of the seventh form of lightsaber combat, Juyo. In return, Bastila had abandoned all of her previous inhibitions which often stopped her from assuming anything further than a more aggressive version of Ataru. She now fought fire with fire, often aiming for Atris's heart and neck with the sole intent of ending the Jedi Master's life in order to save her own.
Fed up with Atris's resistance, Bastila decided on one last push to end it all. Taking a deep breath, she deactivated one end of her lightsaber so that she could channel her full strength into her attack, as she brought her blade hard down in a vertical swing against her enemy. Atris in turn responded with a brutal horizontal cut, as both lightsabers were locked in an epic struggle, their wielders glaring into one another's eyes.
Only one of them would leave this cave alive, while the other would join the lifeless bones that surrounded them.
Although she could feel her own body beginning to fail her, Bastila remained adamant – no, keen – to continue. Atris posed not only an immediate threat, but was also the one person who had always doubted and mocked her. Force illusion or not, Bastila was not about to throw her own life away and jeopardize the group's mission in a moment of doubt.
She would kill Atris.
Just a little farther…just a little closer, and…
"Stop!" shouted another woman's voice to her right. As Bastila swiftly turned her head, the overbearing shadows dissipated, and the cave was now brightly lit up with the hue of her yellow lightsaber.
Yellow and…blue?!
-o-
"Come on…come on, dammit!" Elena cursed, something which was highly out of the ordinary for her, as she fiddled with and tweaked the settings of her datapad and commlink in a desperate attempt to establish contact with any companion she could. Feeling a large bead of sweat falling down the side of her face, she wiped at it with her hand, only to grimace at the putrid dark animal blood which now smeared her fingers.
Accepting that trying to reach out to the others was of no further use, she slid the device back into the inner pocket of her coat and then sat up from the base of the wroshyr tree she had temporarily paused under. Unable to locate or even confirm if the others had made it down safely, she continued onwards, brooding over what could have been had they worked more closely together during the chaotic ordeal.
Soon enough once she began walking, she thought of Revan and the last that she saw of him before plummeting into the darkness. Even now, it mesmerized and captivated her. The way he fought. The way he moved. How it felt to truly fight beside him ever since his old spirit was rekindled on Tatooine. Despite the horrible danger that surrounded them, Elena never felt for a moment that she could lose her life.
With the night having become increasingly frosty along with a drastic drop in humidity, thirst began to creep up on her the more she breathed in the punishing air. She paused a short while later to take off her pack, then reached in to grab her water canteen.
Just her luck. It had been pierced somehow during the frantic fight, and its contents had spilled out onto her other supplies, most notably a good portion of her provision of dried food. Compounding her troubles was the fact that she also did not possess a tent.
Realizing that she was now locked in a race against time, Elena willed her tired legs to go onward in a light jog, going as fast as she could without risking exhausting herself should the need for battle arise. After several minutes of searching, she slowed to a cautious pace and then crouched low when she saw a large number of small yellow lights flickering in the distance, her heart sinking as she recalled the harrowing attacks of the beasts during the descent.
However, upon further examination, the yellow lights were all moving independently of one another, and so were more reminiscent of insects rather than the gleaming eyes of predatory animals. Feeling slightly more assured, she walked over to the source, then breathed a sigh of relief when she saw that they were little more than common fireflies.
'Fireflies…they tend to congregate around bodies of water, don't they?'
Yes, she was sure of it. After a while of following the trail of the insects which grew more numerous the deeper she went, she gasped in wonder when she came across a small lake, illuminated by countless dancing lights. She eagerly rushed to the bank and fell to her knees, scooping up the water in her hands and bringing it to her lips. Although she was prepared to take chances on its drinkability, the water was surprisingly refreshing and clean. Several sips later, she withdrew from the bank and rose to her feet, eager to press on.
A crashing wave of unease set about her mind when she saw that the fireflies had all suddenly vanished in the brief moment she was preoccupied with hydrating herself, shrouding her in darkness. Not even the gentle cries of crickets could be heard, as the entire forest seemed to fall into a sinister hush.
"How disappointing," an all too familiar, accursed voice of an old woman mocked her from the shadows. "Lost, desperate and floundering. Just the way I remember you from the days of your youth. I see that the years have not been kind to you, my dear Elena."
"No…," Elena exhaled, as all of her anxieties, fears and doubts came flooding back in a heartbeat. "No, that's not possible. You can't be here. You—"
"And yet, you hear me. You feel my presence. Most important of all…you know in your heart that my words are the truth."
"You're wrong," she shook her head, desperately looking left and right to locate the voice. "I can do this. I…"
"Nothing you do will influence the events that will follow; you know this, don't you? You feel it. You are not strong enough, dear child. That has never changed.
"You were always the slowest learner. The last among your old friends to become a Jedi Knight, and by the slimmest of margins – perhaps even granted out of pity by the more sympathetic fools such as Zhar and Dorak. The most insignificant in terms of power and skill. You cannot help Revan; you will never be anything more than a burden to him, and you would do him a favor by staying lost in this darkness forever."
"Maybe you're right," Elena sighed, hanging her head in shame. Those words, those gut-wrenching doubts that she held about herself for almost thirty years…it still stung her like a dagger through the heart. "But still…I've gotten this far, haven't I?" she realized, her spirit becoming rejuvenated with hope as she began to look up once more. "Despite all the horrors I've faced, I still managed to pull through. In fact…I feel stronger now than I ever was."
"Comforting lies, Elena. Willfully blind until the end. How unfortunate."
"You think that I'll give up? That any of us will? Not a chance," she declared, looking around her in an active bid to seek out the one who haunted her. "You're right about me; I've always been a failure. But you know what I came to realize while on this journey? We all are. Every single one of us who came aboard the Ebon Hawk had failed miserably at some point, sometimes at the cost of the lives of people we loved. As painful as those memories may be, we learned from them. More than that, we have people whom we want to protect. That alone gives us the strength to go on."
"I see. And what if the next lesson of yours is too great for you to bear? What if it takes from you everything you've been fighting so hard to protect? Will you have a reason to go on then?"
Elena stood her ground, unwavering in her faith. "You're trying to make me doubt myself – you won't succeed. Nothing will stop me from returning to him; from returning home. Not the Sith, not Malak…not even you."
She blinked as the sinister hiss of a lightsaber crackling to life sounded behind her. Turning around, she stared with determined eyes at the cloaked and hooded woman, the greatest test she had so far encountered in her life.
"Come, then. Put your words to the test, young one," Kreia said, assuming the ready-stance of Makashi with her green lightsaber pointing downwards by her side.
Upon first glance, Elena sought to dismiss the woman who stood before her as little more than an illusion; she could feel that the dark side was strong in the deep parts of the forest, fueled by both the presence of the Star Map as well as the terrible bloodshed that must have occurred over the years between the Wookiee resistance and the Czerka enslavers. There had been many times over the course of her life where she had similar encounters with phantoms that sought to play games with her mind.
But not here. She could feel the heat emanating from Kreia's lightsaber. The same energy that she felt on Dantooine – that bottomless pit of doubt – was reaching out to her once again, yearning to swallow her whole.
Her heart beginning to race, Elena drew out her lightsaber and ignited it, reflecting on the blue blade and the choices she made so long ago.
A Jedi Guardian. One who is dedicated to fight in order to protect the innocent against the forces of evil.
I must fight. There is no other way.
With a careful approach, Elena mirrored Kreia, adopting the two-handed low-guard stance of Niman. Knowing that her old master far exceeded her in both lightsaber skill and her power in the Force, she understood that she was immediately at a disadvantage. Given that falling back on the defensive approach of Soresu would only help to delay the inevitable, her only hope was to embark on a cautious offensive and catch Kreia off guard.
They stood unmoving, staring off at one another for what felt like an eternity. Kreia was the first to move, walking slowly towards Elena with her hands still by her sides, her free left hand noticeably outstretched. Then, without warning, she flung it forward, causing a stone to fly out of the darkness and strike Elena hard upon her back. With a pained yelp, she scrambled to recover just in time to deflect a hard diagonal swipe that would've sliced her belly open.
As the combat progressed, Elena found that her progress had amazed even herself. She remembered dreading every training session with Master Kreia in her youth, as she had always left the gaps in her skills horribly exposed for all to see. And yet here she was, holding her own. Not only defending herself but…pushing back? Kreia was withdrawing step by step, although far from being pushed to the edge as her face expressed no alarm or worry, and her bladework remained sharp and precise. Furthermore, Elena had now abandoned the conservative application of Niman, opting for the more energetic offensive provided by Djem-So.
Upon the next counterattack of Kreia, Elena took her chance. Blocking a side-swipe that came from her right, she surged forth and responded with a ferocious swing at Kreia's neck. The old Master reacted quickly, leaning backwards and diverting her hands in an upward flurry to parry away the attack, but it was too late. Elena could feel her blade making contact as she followed through and came to a halt once she ran past Kreia, and soon the forest was illuminated by only a solitary blue hue.
But she was not a fool. She still sensed Kreia's presence through the Force. Turning around, she saw her old master standing still with her back turned towards her, hands concealed in front. Moments later, Kreia held out her right hand to her side and dropped her weapon. The lightsaber was split in two, severed at the tip, as it lay functionless on the ground.
Satisfied, Elena deactivated her lightsaber, having had no desire to harm Kreia in the first place. "Have I proven myself now? Do you still doubt that I'm willing to go all the way to save him?"
Kreia turned and walked slowly towards her, then stopped barely an arm's length away from her old pupil. Elena could feel the freezing night air of the forest turn colder still as the old Jedi Master approached, her arms going stiff due to the chill which rushed up and down her bones.
"Naïve as always, dear Elena," Kreia mused, shaking her head. "This is just the beginning."
The jolting upwards of her eyes was the only action that Elena had time for before she was sent hurling backwards by a brutal Force Push, sailing for what felt like dozens of yards before she crashed in pain against the dried-up roots of an upturned wroshyr tree. The wood snapped and gave way upon impact and she continued to tumble down a narrow slope, the damp mud lying underneath latching onto her clothes, hair and face.
She scrambled to her feet as soon as possible and ignited her lightsaber after finally coming to a stop once she reached the bottom. She appeared to be in a cavern, impossible to determine whether it was made by man or beast. Her heart pounded furiously, for she now understood that Kreia did not intend to merely test her strength – rather, she seemed determined to kill her.
Adding to her misery, as her eyes darted left and right while studying the cave, the surroundings brought up horrible memories of past encounters with beasts. There was a singular path only, almost perfectly tubular in shape; just the kind that would be left behind by enormous burrowing snakes or worms that would not hesitate to devour her if given the opportunity.
She waited…and waited…but Kreia did not pursue. The path leading up to the surface was eerily quiet, and Elena dared not head back out. Opting to take the risk, she cautiously turned and walked through the cave, watching for any signs of hostile movement.
'Elena,' a disembodied, faint voice of a young woman echoed from deeper down the corridor. It sounded so familiar…one that she remembered from her earlier years on Coruscant. Momentary frozen out of surprise, she shook her head and continued on, dismissing the voice as another of Kreia's mind games.
'Why did you stay behind?' a man whispered hoarsely, as Elena began to scan about to locate the source of the disturbance.
'We needed you,' a different woman sighed, soon followed by many other individuals.
'You abandoned us…'
'We fought and died to protect the Republic. To protect you…'
'You did nothing. You sat and did nothing!'
'You should have come. We would all still be alive…'
'You were selfish…'
Lowering her lightsaber in admission the moment she recognized the voices as belonging to some of her old friends who had gone to join the war against the Mandalorians only to never return, Elena sunk her head low and exhaled. "Yes, I admit it to you now. I was a coward. Had I known how terrible the war would be, how it would change him…I would have followed him, even if it meant that I would have died. And sometimes…sometimes I wonder if I should have. But know this," she brought her head up, a steely gaze glistening in her eyes. "I'm ready to fight now. To protect Revan, to protect my friends, to save the galaxy…and to honor your memory."
"Indeed?" Kreia mused from afar, sending Elena on high alert again as she readied her lightsaber. "Then you would do well to start by protecting yourself."
No sooner had Kreia spoke, two violet lightsabers presented themselves from further down the narrow cave passageway. Bracing herself for the fight of her life, Elena advanced with her weapon pointed straight at her target, ready to put an end to things.
Except…
"What?" she gasped once she closed in, baffled at the fact that Kreia was completely absent, and yet two floating lightsabers were poised to strike at her. As the blades slowly crept towards her like serpents circling their prey, Elena took a moment to meditate inwardly.
I cannot go on for much longer. I can feel my strength depleting rapidly…
If I continue to defend as I normally would, I will only delay the inevitable.
She expects me to act my usual self. Little by little, she'll wear me down until it's time to finish me off. That's how she will overcome me.
Then I must act differently. Act in a way she would never expect of me.
This time…I attack.
She closed in, advancing with her arms tucked in against her sides, employing a combination of the deft and rapid defensive flicks of Soresu with energetic assaults of Ataru, enhanced by short bursts of using the Force to propel her movements. After the initial assault had failed, the twin lightsabers withdrew steadily until Elena entered a wider chamber. Jagged bones lined the ground as she carefully continued her advance, finally succeeding in destroying one lightsaber with a sudden upward swipe.
With one target down, she turned her eyes to the remaining blade directly to her left. But then, almost as soon as she sought to center herself, the blade withdrew, hurtling through the air to the right until it arrived in the palm of Kreia, who once again revealed herself in the cave. This time, there were no taunts, no words intended to toy with her mind. Only battle.
A subdued hiss echoed, reverberated and grew with frightening speed into an ear-splitting screech as Kreia advanced, her lightsaber crashing against Elena's with power that almost defied all reason. In all her years, Elena had never before seen such an aggressive display of swordsmanship from the Jedi scholar; it took all her strength and more for her to resist Kreia's attacks, but she resolved to overcome her old master at all costs or die trying.
It all now came down to this. Initiating what would surely be the final and decisive bout of the struggle, Kreia raised her lightsaber high in the air, about to unleash the 'falling avalanche' attack by bringing her blade crashing down on Elena. With no other option, Elena called upon the last of her power to block Kreia's attack with a horizontal swing.
Their blades locked, Elena stared into her old teacher's silver eyes, searching desperately for signs that she had finally passed this latest 'test' Kreia had set up for her, and that Kreia would withdraw. All she saw however were brief but vivid flashes of the future – or, rather, what she believed to be so.
The wedding that she dreamed of. The love of her life standing before her, and all of their friends gathered to celebrate their momentous occasion. All, save for one.
Pain. Unable to rise, unable to speak. Her life slowly leaving her as a gaping wound was seared through her stomach. She slowly turned, laying upon her back to look at the face of her murderer…
A young boy with a beaming smile laughed as he ran across a vibrant meadow towards her and threw his arms around her. She embraced him, basking in the warmth of Naboo's sun, before sending him off to run towards his father who called out his name.
Cold. Dark. Trapped. Unable to move. Opening her eyes, she found herself trapped lying down in a prison of glass as two unidentifiable figures soon approached out of the darkness; one of them fell to his knees and sunk his head low beside her while the other stood behind him. Seconds passed before the kneeling man raised his head, revealing himself to be none other than Revan. Elena froze when she saw what was reflected in his mournful eyes.
Her own dead body lying in repose, her hands gathered atop her chest while she was clothed in what appeared to be a beautiful ceremonial white dress. Panicked, Elena reached out to pound her fists against the glass coffin to let Revan know that her true self was alive and well. She shuddered when she beheld nothing but a formless mist fuming impotently against the glass, rather than her own hands in the flesh.
She could feel her heart break in two when he rose and turned his back to her, leaving the chamber and leaving her alone with the other figure who approached her coffin. Slowly but surely the shadows gave way, bit by bit, until she could finally see the face of the woman who stared down at her with a scornful glare.
Bastila…
"Bastila?!" she gasped, her hands almost slipping from the hilt of her lightsaber. Kreia was nowhere to be seen, and the phantom purple blade replaced by the unmistakable yellow one of her old friend who pressed hard on the offensive, a savage rage engulfing her eyes.
"Stop!" bellowed a woman's voice, the frantic patter of footsteps quickly approaching them. Elena could feel Bastila waver slightly, although she did not completely withdraw. As their eyes met, Bastila's expression quickly turned from fury to confusion as she began to pant heavily.
"E-Elena?" she gasped. "I…I thought I was facing…"
"And I thought you were…"
Finally having caught up with her companions, Audrey tore into them with seething anger. "What the hell are you two doing?! Are you out of your mind?! Trying to kill each other?!"
"I…"
"We…," they murmured, stunned looks written on their faces.
"I want an explanation. Right now," Audrey snapped. "What the hell happened? One argument led to another, and now you're trying to lop each other's heads off? Is that it?"
"We were deceived, manipulated somehow," Elena explained. "Blinded by the Force itself. I never even knew it was Bastila I was fighting. It…it felt so real."
"This place," Bastila remarked, looking around at her surroundings which was littered with bones. "It is strong in the dark side of the Force. A remnant of horrible deeds committed in the past – I can feel it now. We should never have come here."
Closed off to the Force, Audrey couldn't begin to fathom what the two former Jedi were feeling, their eyes riddled with confusion. "I'm not gonna pretend that I know what the hell you're talking about, because I don't. All I know is, we're not staying in this cave – it gives me the creeps. Now come on, we have to get a move on right away to find some proper shelter for the night elsewhere."
Deeply shaken by what they had almost committed, the two of them followed Audrey wordlessly, going back out the same route that Audrey and Bastila had come from. Eerily enough, despite holding them pointing downwards, their lightsabers were still directed at one another, outward manifestations of the deep sense of disappointment each of them felt at the fact that they had not properly overcome the foes in their illusions.
Being bombarded by bone-chilling winds the moment they emerged from the cave was a welcome change when compared to the haunting visions they were subjected to inside. They picked up the pace, running into the forest in the hopes of finding a suitable place to find refuge.
And in doing so, they completely missed the cloaked and hooded figure who sat atop the rock formation overlooking the hill, observing them intently while holding onto a severed lightsaber which lay in her lap.
-o-
Bastila peered down with a blank stare at the small metallic bowl in her hands, fighting back the urge to grumble at the sight of the cold gruel which constituted her dinner. The three women counted themselves lucky that they managed to find any shelter at all, having taken their chances at spending the night within a large hollowed-out base of a wroshyr tree, blocking out the entrance with large leafy branches and strips of bark to avoid the eyes and snouts of predators. A small lamp had been set up by Audrey in the middle, lighting up the interior with a silvery light as they prepared to eat.
"Hah. Not exactly the best idea of a girls' night in, but what can you do in a situation like ours? Well, what are you waiting for? Eat up," Audrey tilted her head, seated opposite to Bastila while chewing on a strip of bantha jerky. Seconds passed, but her companion was still to move a muscle, leading her to scoff. "Canderous was right – you are a bloody princess, aren't you? Look, Bastila, you need to eat if you want to have the strength to get through tomorrow. Stuff like this tastes like shit, I know, but it's better than attracting more of those monsters to us by cooking something hot."
"You're thinking about what happened in the cave…aren't you?" Elena suspected, turning her head ever so slightly to Bastila seated to her right, who gave a silent nod in response.
"I came ever so close…to killing you," her former pupil responded without a hint of emotion in her voice, enough to unnerve Elena whose eyes ever so slightly widened, her heartbeat quickening and her fingers curling up against her lap.
"If it means being able to put it behind you, you should let it out. Explain to me again why you were fighting Elena," Audrey asked, doing her utmost to maintain her patience which was growing increasingly thin.
Bastila sighed before finally breaking out of her stupor, lifting the first spoonful of gruel. "It was the strong presence of the dark side of the Force that led to us being misled. Nexuses of concentrated Force energy can conjure up illusions such as the ones we saw. Also, it wasn't Elena I thought I was fighting. It was…Atris."
Audrey's eyes narrowed. "Atris? Who's that?"
"She is a member of the Jedi High Council on Coruscant," Bastila explained. "I've had…several interactions with her during the time Elena and I resided on Coruscant while waiting for Revan to return. None pleasant."
"And I thought I was fighting Master Kreia, my former teacher during my tutelage in the Dantooine academy," Elena added. "Revan, Malak, Meetra and I…we all learnt from her during our youth."
"Pardon me for pointing this out, but when I came across you two, you looked like you were absolutely wanting to not just defeat, but slaughter each other," Audrey remarked. "It's not a fine line we're talking about – neither of you were fighting in self-defense. For two people who always treated each other like sisters, that's just disturbing."
"The vision of Kreia told me that I deserved to stay lost in this forest," Elena recounted, "that I would be nothing more than a burden to Revan if I remained at his side. I refused to believe that. I promised Revan that I would fight to support him." She turned her head ever so slightly towards Bastila. "And I did."
"Atris attacked me after I denied that I would allow myself to be corrupted by the dark side, and criticized her for her own inaction," Bastila said. "I remember how fickle she could be. I sincerely believed that she wanted to kill me, like I was a nothing but a mere taint that had to be removed."
Audrey looked back and forth between the two women. "So that's it, then? No real animosity between you two? It was all because of illusions created by the Force, right?"
They didn't answer, each staring at the ground with simmering frustration and unease until Bastila turned to Elena, their steel-grey eyes locked upon each other. "There will only be two possible outcomes on this planet, just like Tatooine. You know that, don't you?"
"Bastila," Elena stood her ground. "We will save Zaalbar. I promise you."
"Tell that to my father," she answered. "We've been fighting this war in the same way that we always have been, with nothing to show for it but the corpses of our friends and family. If we're to survive, then we mustn't stand in the way of Revan's nature – we must stand beside him. Let him make full use of his powers as he did on Tatooine, and we will overcome anything."
"You confuse 'supporting Revan' with leading him down the same path he once followed, Bastila," Elena argued. "I've observed the ways you've used the Force since you lost your father. The way you've fought. I know you're trying to prevent harm from coming to us all, but this just isn't it. This mentality of yours…it's twisting you, just as it did the same to Revan."
"Both of you, stop it," Audrey put her foot down, bringing about a tense atmosphere of silence. Not one of them moved despite the fact that they were all starving, their stomachs begging to be filled by the lackluster food they still held idly in their hands. Seconds passed before she continued, sighing deeply. "Look. I'm not going to pretend that I have a proper clue of what these Force hallucinations of yours truly mean, because I don't. All I ask of you two is that we all try to work together to get through this. Let's not neglect and throw away the chances we have of saving our present, by obsessing over our different views on saving the future."
Too tired and hungry to argue any further, the three women finally turned their attention to their meals. Bastila continued to consume spoonful after spoonful of tasteless gruel, all the while shivering in her thick coat which was inadequate in blocking out the spine-chilling wind which seeped through the cracks of the covered tree hole.
Then, without prompting, Elena held up a piece of dried plum in her palm, offering it to Bastila who looked at her in surprise. Despite their increasing friction, Elena still cared deeply for her, greeting her with an exhausted yet warm smile. Without speaking a word, Bastila accepted the gift, subtly giving her thanks by gently squeezing Elena's fingers as the fruit changed hands.
"By the way, speaking of the future, I was wondering," Audrey asked after swallowing another bite of jerky, looking at Bastila. "What will the two of you do? If we survive all of this, I mean. From what I've gathered so far, you and Revan are quite firm on slamming the door forever on the Jedi Order."
"…," Bastila remained silent, her eyes filled with uncertainty.
"To be a family again. Start over," Elena said. "Before Revan departed to join in the war effort against the Mandalorians, we were laying down plans for our wedding. And children. Apart from that, after leaving the Order, I thought of becoming an early education teacher."
"A teacher, huh?" Audrey smiled. "Well, I guess you've had many years to settle on that one. As for me, I first got the idea while on Dantooine that I'd open up an orphanage to take care of children who lost their families to the war. Carth is determined to make a difference and work on rebuilding Telos if the war ends in our favor, and…I want to be a part of that." Lastly, she looked at Bastila who had not stirred since they brought up the current topic at hand. "What about you, Bastila?"
"I…," she stammered, "I don't know. I don't know where I'll go, what I'll do, or even what will eventually become of me. Nothing."
Audrey insisted. "Come on, Bastila. You've fought so hard to get to this point. There's got to be something that keeps you going."
"You have Carth; Elena has Revan. Whom do I have?" she puffed. "I've fought so hard my entire life to better myself so that I could protect others, and yet I have nothing to show for it. My father's dead, and I have no place to truly call home. I've been a mere passenger in Elena and Revan's dreams for so long that I…I completely neglected to build upon my own."
"Bastila," Elena said, reaching out and holding her hand. "I'm so sorry. I looked after and mentored you for half of your life. I've been ever so grateful to you for understanding and keeping secret the love that Revan and I have for one another, and yet I've done so little to encourage you to feel that same joy yourself. I always believed that Knighthood was your sole personal focus, and that you became fulfilled after achieving it, but now I realize just how wrong I've been."
Seeing that the younger woman was in need of help, Audrey whispered to her. "Don't worry, Bastila. We've got you."
"What?" Bastila looked up, perplexed.
"Finding love; a place to call your own; discovering what you want to do with your life. I know exactly how you feel. Once this is all over, we'll be there to help you. It's the least I can do for you, seeing as the two of you saved my life on Tatooine."
At last finding something to be happy about, Bastila managed to put on a small smile. The three of them continued to finish their meals in silence, their eyes growing increasingly heavy from a long day's struggle. After finishing the last of her jerky piece, Audrey spoke again. "Do you think the others made it out ok? I haven't been able to get one signal ever since we got separated."
"Revan is certainly alive and well, I know that much," Elena replied. "If something had happened to him, Bastila and I would have felt it. Painfully."
"And I'm confident that Juhani made it down safely as well," Bastila added. "I've seen few Jedi as resilient as she is. Canderous and HK-47 live for combat like the one we experienced, and T3 has proven to be extremely resourceful."
"You're worried about Carth and Mission…aren't you?" Elena glanced upon Audrey, whose gaze gradually sank downwards.
"…Yes," she murmured, tucking herself almost into a ball as she nervously drew in and hugged her knees in the same way she'd often embrace Mission. "I know Mission well. She managed to get herself out of tight spots before: Vulkars, Gamorreans, even rakghouls. But she always had Zaalbar by her side in those days."
"Have faith, Audrey," Elena smiled warmly, attempting to soothe her. "She may not be a Jedi or a warrior, but she's a very clever and resourceful girl. And much stronger than she looks."
With a silent nod, Audrey shuffled forward to allow herself enough room to lie down, resting her heavy head upon the flat ground. "Only time will tell. Now let's get some shuteye – we'll be needing it for tomorrow."
"Goodnight, Audrey. Goodnight, Bastila."
"Goodnight," Bastila replied, lying down on her side before peacefully closing her eyes.
Long after her two companions had drifted off to sleep, Elena sat up alone, reflecting on what had happened that night. At the very moment when she believed she had finally triumphed and proved her greatest doubter wrong, she was confronted by the horrifying reality that she had almost ended the life of one she loved so deeply.
She peered down once more at her old pride and joy who continued to sleep blissfully, as if she was laying in her soft bed on Coruscant and away from the carnage of war. A shiver ran up her spine as she looked upon Bastila's face, so beautiful and serene, and recalled the terrifying, vicious snarl written on it at the moment her friend seemed determined to end her life. Those contemptuous eyes that glared at her from outside her coffin, before turning away to join Revan.
I refuse to believe it. That can't be the future. She wouldn't.
Her eyes squeezed tightly shut, Elena curled her right hand into a fist. It took all her strength to contend with the person she imagined to be Kreia, but was in fact Bastila all along. The thought of having to potentially fight for her life one day against someone she loved like family…it was unthinkable.
Suddenly, she felt a soft touch brush against her fingers. The fear, the feeling of powerlessness and the anxiety…it all seemed to melt away, replaced by the image of an innocent young girl with messy brown hair in pigtails. Their grey eyes met as Elena knelt in front of her, tenderly holding the child's hands to calm and console her.
'This was when Bastila first became my Padawan,' she realized. 'She was just thirteen years old. Her master perished while on a mission to Ryloth. She always blamed herself for not being capable enough to join him.'
As the vision disappeared, Elena opened her eyes to see that Bastila's hand was laid atop hers, as the younger woman remained soundly asleep by her side. Her spirit calmed, Elena was finally able to muster a tired smile before silently lying down to rest, happy to know that she could still trust in her former Padawan.
After all…could she doubt her?
A/N: Glad to be back, and much sooner than I thought. I had an unexpected big urge to get back into writing almost as soon as my exam finished, since I felt extremely unproductive doing nothing in my free time.
I wanted to use Kashyyyk to give every character a unique challenge in terms of both combat and beliefs, as opposed to the game's simple act of exploring the area, killing some monsters and finding their objective. It's evidently led to a very drawn-out narrative – much longer than I would've ideally wanted – but all in all, I hope it pays off in the end.
On another note, while writing this chapter, it prompted me to backtrack and make corrections to some mistakes in Chapter 42. The original writing stated that Bastila was a Jedi Knight when she was talking to Atris in the Jedi Temple's library, which is incorrect. I've made slight adjustments to state that she was still a Padawan at the time, consistent with her rising to Knighthood in the flashback in Chapter 10. The things you (embarrassingly) forget about your own fic when the two chapters are written seven years apart!
Hope everyone's staying well these days, and I'll see you in the next chapter.