Not Another One
Inspired by an "art installation" that appeared in a remote part of Cumberland, England's most northerly county and on what was the ill-defined and much-fought-over border between England and Scotland and prior to that, the northernmost reach of the Roman Empire.
A place of mystery, edges, borders and Otherlands: not all that far north of here and a little east, Thomas the Rhymer was memorably abducted by somebody we shall only refer to as Queen of the Gentry, to serve as Her court minstrel and poet.
The Art Installation – at least, that's what they're calling it – takes the form of a classic English dry-stone wall, except for the fact it rises up, forms a perfect circle, and delineates what might be an arched gateway. It is as if Bloody Stupid Johnson was asked to do some dry-walling.
Appearing overnight in the foothills of the Ramtops, where Lancre meets the Chalk... Mistress Tiffany Aching and Mrs Gytha Ogg flew here as a matter of some urgency, and have agreed to keep an Eye on it as "this is definitely a gateway to somewhere. We just don't know where to, as yet." and "How did the clever bugger get them stones to stay up?" Mistress Aching is also said to be "concerned" that Unseen University want to send an investigation team. Her exact words were "That's all we need!" followed by a diplomatic request to "at least send somebody with a functioning brain, like Ponder Stibbons."
Younger and more flight-minded Witches are now being dissuaded from seeking to fly through it at high speed. In the Ankh-Morpork City Air Watch, this is an aerobatic manoevre referred to as "threading the needle" and in the past has involved things like passing between the centre piers of the Brass Bridge at full speed, barely feet above the river, with bonus points given for narrowly missing any river traffic coming the opposite way. It is believed one Air Witch once managed the feat of flying at four thousand feet underground - Angels Minus Four in Air Watch parlance - simply by entering a dwarf mine and going full throttle in a lower gallery. (1)
Air Watch Commanding Officer, Captain Olga Romanoff, has firmly reminded all pilots this is dangerous flying and will be treated as a disciplinary offence. Privately, she has remarked that if any witch currently in training in Lancre manages to thread the needle on this one and comes back alive and unchanged, we'd better sign her up. She is a Talent and a born flyer.
(1) Olga's inquiry into the Incident had been short and to the point. She had send "Send Kiiki Pekisaalen to the office, please?"
"How do you know it wasn't Darleen O'Hagan, ma'am?"
"In a dwarf mine? She's six feet tall. Her head would be bouncing off the ceiling. Or off the underside of the Brass Bridge. Kiiki, on the other hand, is a foot shorter. Send me Kiiki."