AN: Thank you to my ladies on the BW crew. I could not do it without them. And thank you everyone who followed, favorited, and reviewed!
Just a little EPOV to get us through to next week.
~~o~~
Chapter 3. The Summer Solstice
EPOV
It's been a rough few nights.
The anticipation of what's to come looms in my mind, making me uneasy, making me want to crawl out of my fucking skin.
Summer brings change in this part of the world. Tourists on vacation crowd my sanctuary. Scientists and turtle conservationists add to the mix. It's a small price I have to pay for living in this remote location. A trade-off for the solitude I'm afforded the other nine months out of the year.
But the swarms of newcomers from all walks of life aren't what has my pulse racing. Their presence is a nuisance, sure, but that's not it. That's not what has me on edge.
Because the summer solstice doesn't only bring newcomers to the beach, it's also the date my sister comes to visit.
And when she does, I know Mom and Dad come along too. She drags them here, every fucking year since I've made this country my permanent home. They spend three days at the beach that haunts me, on the other coast, then they take off, leaving behind in their wake the ghost of my past mistakes.
Of course, my sister, ever the hopeful one, visits me on this coast before they depart.
At least she's the only one who comes to visit me on this beach. Mom can't bear to see me anymore. I don't blame her. Didn't then and still don't now. I wouldn't want to have to look at me if I were her. So when my sister comes on the last night of their trip to tell me how much of a fucking disappointment I am to them, my mom stays at the hotel with my dad.
Alice doesn't use the word disappointment exactly. But she doesn't have to. I know what I am.
Every time she comes, I hope—I desperately dream—it will be easier. But somehow it isn't; somehow it always gets worse.
She screams, she cries. Sometimes, she hits me.
She tells me everything I've heard a million times before, the words that replay on a never-ending loop in my brain.
It takes me a few days after they leave to get back to normal. Or at least to the normal I've created here.
If I follow my rules, I'm able to find my peace again. I am able to push everything down, bury it deep, and pretend I am okay for another year.
I sit at the bar and wait for Alice; the pills I took earlier, aided by the alcohol running through my veins, are starting to take their effect and blur my vision, cloud my mind, and calm my nerves.
My sister will be here in no time, and I'll be able to take it, let her get everything off her chest, and say what I deserve to hear. At least I'll be numb before she gets here, and I won't remember any of it tomorrow.
That's when I see her. The girl. Not my sister.
She removes her shoes and acts relieved when her feet touch the sand. I smile because I know exactly how she feels. When she looks over in the direction of the bar, at no one in particular, the expression on her face puzzles me.
She takes a deep breath, as if in preparation, and then marches with purpose to the bar. I'd say by the way her shoulders are back and her head is held high, she's on a mission.
She looks young too. Like maybe she's here on a college break.
She's fucking beautiful.
She is enthusiastically and immediately approached by Seth, and I shake my head at the kid. He is too obvious. Way too eager.
I laugh into my beer; my plan is to ignore her. To follow my number one rule. No connections.
Her unfortunate choice of a beer brings something out in me though, something foreign, something I haven't felt in a long time. Longing. Fascination. Craving for interaction.
Despite my rules, I'm talking to her. Laughing… with her. Smiling at her.
Her eyes draw me in, and I can't look away. They're bright, even in the faint light. The way the light bulb right above us shines on her face lets me see the myriad of colors in them. Green rims, darker in the outlines, getting brighter toward the center. Rays of brown, gray, and gold radiating from her pupils.
Her hazel eyes leave my mind in a numbing haze—on a fucking trip. Or maybe it's just the concoction of drugs and alcohol flowing through my system.
It doesn't matter—it shouldn't matter—that she's funny. That she's smart. That getting lost in her eyes quiets the hurt in my thoughts.
None of it matters though.
Because behind her comes my sister, and with her presence, my painful reality. A reminder of what I am. Of what I did. Or what I failed to do for that matter.
My day of reckoning has come.
AN: Can wait to hear your theories about our boy! Sea you next week!