A/N: I was going to sit on this for a day to edit it, but I just wanted it posted. It's been 10 months, like... what?
I will go through and edit, add, subtract, clarify, etc, but I wanted to get it up because who knows how long that will take me.
I still really hope you enjoy it.
I don't own anything Inuyasha.
...
Hai! My name is Higarashi Kagome!
I'm just your average school kid, but through some strange, weird situation I've ended up here in the Warring States era. I've also become a target for demons, all after a jewel in my body. Now, I have to team up with a half demon Inuyasha who wants the jewel's power and who intends to keep the fragments for himself.
It feels like a dream, but it's not a dream!
Not like the dreams I've had since traveling through the Well…
I have trouble remembering them, so Mama suggested I keep a journal to write everything down. It just sounds like more homework. She is doing so much for me right now, this isn't so bad.
My first day in the feudal era was AWFUL, though! And my side still hurts from where that centipede demon ripped the Shikon out of me. Ripped it! It'll probably leave a terrible scar and I'll have to wear one piece suits for the rest of my life!
Inuyasha destroyed her, anyways. Then, he attacked me… But that's all in the past! After the Hair Demon (it was really gross! There were skulls everywhere!) he actually called me by my name. Also, I can subjugate him if he ever bugs me.
I've lost count how many times I've done it already.
Okay, I'm getting distracted. I should write down a dream I had that first night I went through the Well because it was really weird.
I'm in a large field and I feel sunny and warm. There's a boy with me and his face is turned away. I can tell he is sad, though. It might be Inuyasha? His hair is long, silver and I don't remember any ears on the top of his head.
That's all I can remember, though it feels like a dream I have had before. Hopefully, I don't have it any more! This era is terrifying and confusing enough already.
I go back through the Well again tomorrow. I think I have everything packed. I'm sure Momma will think of something else, anyways XD
Until next time! I hope for happier dreams!
.
Jaken's enthusiasm for groveling had transitioned from 'annoying' to 'white noise'. There were times, however, when his beak-like mouth would get away from him. The imp was too assured in his continued survival since his service was needed to wield the Staff. It made him... plucky.
If it wasn't for the dark enjoyment Sesshoumaru received from watching his ward's confidence wither under his boot, he would have found another imp.
Their century long search continued and the days, weeks, years blurred together into a haze of disappointment and detachment. Sometimes, Jaken would return to the palace to gather information and assist Osamu. His First General always sent back a well-meaning plea for his Lord's return. The requests, of course, went ignored. He had promised not to return until he possessed the Fang, so that was the way it had to be.
During the long months Jaken was away, Sesshoumaru would lay low. He was merciless with possible informants and word of it spread quickly, so after a while it became harder and harder to find any leads. The taiyoukai would remain in one place for the time, careful not to let his presence be known, and allowed his enemies to calm. Most times he was by himself. Most others, he was Daichi's guest near the Northern Border. His company was not calming, but the sparring between them had been a huge relief of frustration. It was almost as good as actually killing others.
It was at the end of one of these prolonged visits that Sesshoumaru found himself now. He stared at a flowing river, waiting for Jaken to make his appearance, and thought of how weary he felt. They had not even begun their search again and already he was so tired. The thought of taking another step made him want to sink into the ground. Perhaps, they should travel by boat for a while.
An hour later, they were floating southward, away from the scent of a soldier's camp and scorched flesh. Their evening had started in an annoying fashion until they had burned a human encampment to the ground. Now, the night proved to be well lit and quiet. The moon hung low and full in the sky, illuminating the canopy bloom of early summer trees and darkening the shadows they were casting.
As they drifted, Sesshoumaru let his mind wander. The bubbling of the steady stream and the gentle cry of crickets lowered his perspicacity as Jaken relayed reports from his Chuujitsu. As always, Osamu had been diligent in his regency, Daichi unrelenting at the border, and Kimiko had been quiet. He listened with half an ear, giving precedence to the sounds of water and wind, when Jaken mentioned a name he was not expecting.
"...Inuyasha," Jaken had squawked. "My Staff has been changing directions lately, and I believe it is following Inuyasha around."
He tried to infer as to what the imp was talking about, but was at a loss. "That is impossible, he has been under a seal for fifty years now."
"Yes, but I learned only recently that the spell was broken. If it's true, then the location of the tomb could be with him."
"Hn." A frown deepened his already shadowed face. It had been a bit of a blessing to believe that the hanyou would never wake again. Now, the thought of his father's shame wandering around his lands soured his stomach. Irritation bloomed in his temples and the implication of seeking Inuyasha out stirred up memories he thought he would not have to face again until he had Tetsusaiga. Totosai had let slip that the path was kept by Inuyasha, but the mutt had never been forthright with any information regarding the Fang before. He had no reason to believe anything would be different this time.
Jaken, however, had an idea.
.
A massive beast blocked the moonlight and the ground rumbled as it moved. Rice fields and hillside villages shook with each footstep. Human screams filtered through trees and fear thickened the night air as it passed them by. Sesshoumaru's blood was electric with anticipation as he scanned the horizon. He lashed at the gigantic oni he rode on and it let out a fearsome roar. Hurried, they continued their thundering trek through the valley. Each vibration shuddered through him, shaking his bones and rattling his teeth.
The whole display was garish. He was not against pageantry, especially if it was effective, and his mother had been an expert in such matters. She could turn the tides of war with a well timed ceremony and a clever compliment. The Western Lady had always been so careful with every movement she made, while Sesshoumaru felt as if he could only respond to the actions of others. Idly, he wondered what she would have thought of the scene he was currently making. She might have admonished the path he had chosen, but he still wondered if she would scoff or applaud his methods.
Especially since they were more deceitful than clever. Jaken's plan was a cruel one, and if he were honest, he was anxious to watch the hope wither in the mutt's eyes before light died in them forever. He could have done so before, when Inuyasha was a helpless pup, but a sense of propriety and misplaced sentiment had barred him. He had believed there was no honor in killing a child when really there had been no honor in letting him live. Nevertheless, it was always to be Sesshoumaru who would claim his life. The way of it did not seem to matter as much as it had when he was younger. What mattered in the end was the soiled mutt's lifeblood on his claws.
They crested the hill and Sesshoumaru could spot the bright red of the Fire Rat Robe. The vibrant splash of color shone against purple shadows and the hereditary gold of Inuyasha's gaze could cut through the darkest night. His half-brother had only been a child the last time Sesshoumaru had actually spoken to him. For a moment, he wondered if the hanyou would even know who he was.
Inuyasha's attention shifted from the oni towards him, and he could see the painful recognition in those familiar eyes.
He returned the glare with a predatory grin. "Oh, so you do remember your big brother," Sesshoumaru gloated and was then distracted by a sharp scent that stuck his next taunt in his throat. The wind was suddenly bright, grassy, and reminiscent of oranges- or the smell of early morning sun on oranges. He first considered it to be a precursor to an illusion, like with the Panthers, but no. This was familiar, he just could not place where. Just as quickly as he noticed it the scent was gone, hidden by the oni's own, and the faint wisps of it reminded him of a fading memory.
Distracted, Sesshoumaru had missed whatever Inuyasha's retort had been. He focused once again and finally noticed a young woman standing at the half-breed's side.
"Oh? A mortal?" he berated. The thought of Inuyasha keeping another human near was confounding. The mutt should have learned his lesson, but what could he expect from someone who was half demon, half mistake. "That figures, coming from the likes of you."
Without missing a beat, the girl screamed back, "Yeah! What of it?"
The audacity in her voice caused an abrupt end to his enjoyment. On instinct, anger swelled in his chest as her tone tickled recognition, like remembering a fragment of a dream. A mere human was not worth his energy so, refocusing, he concentrated back to Inuyasha. Nothing was more important than finally obtaining the Fang as his own, and the slight distractions were spoiling his victorious moment.
"Inuyasha," Sesshoumaru steadied himself, his tone light and baiting. "Where is the Tetsusaiga?"
"Keh, I don't know anything about that."
It was as he expected, but they were prepared. The carriage holding the Un-Mother revealed itself from the clouds and a sadistic sneer stretched across Sesshoumaru's face. A severe longing flash in Inuyasha's expression when he tried to deny her. The Un-Mother cried, her voice full of love and sorrow, and the hanyou broke. As soon as they had him believing it was actually the human princess, Jaken's true plan went into motion.
The brat went to rescue his long dead mother and, in a false display of protection, the Un-Mother demon transported Inuyasha to her dreamlike realm.
Once they were gone, Sesshoumaru readied his claws to dispatch of the leftovers. However, looking around, he noticed that the human girl had disappeared with them. He frowned. Extra company had not been part of the plan. "Jaken, this scheme of yours better work," he said, eager to watch Inuyasha's whole life stripped away, and wondered why he had the notion that a human woman would interrupt it in any way.
They followed into the dream. Once they were fully encompassed within, Sesshoumaru felt vulnerable. If he were to try and imagine a place of peace it would be here. The Un-Mother created an illusion to trap Inuyasha not with high walls or strong bars, but with love. The fresh air teetered on the edge of being too warm. It wrapped around him like a blanket, soothing his nerves and lulling him into the scene of fragrant flowers and a gurgling creek. The droning of summer insects and wisps of soft clouds were a respite from the real world. He had forgotten what it had felt like to be safe as himself and his soul yearned. A soft breeze fluttered by him and Sesshoumaru closed his eyes- remembering a day just like this when he had opened them to meet curious, blue ones staring back-
The taiyoukai bit down on his tongue, breaking out of the trance and careful not to make a sound lest the illusion fall apart. This human-born demon's magic was effective, yet fickle. Too much movement or sound from anyone other than her target and it would shatter. Besides, he would never completely fall for such a scene. He had already known love and knew it to be a weakness. His mother's had been out of reach, his father's was given to another, and Miko's had been a lie. He stood far away and watched as Inuyasha and the fake mother walked along the bank.
Inuyasha's white dog ears relaxed against his head while he laid his emotions bare. The boy was genuine, longing to connect with his mother and to be safe- faults and all. It had probably been ages since the hanyou had felt truly secure and truly loved. He had been so young when he had lost her and the sliver of protection her status had given them. The pain of having to let it all go once again withered Inuyasha's posture. This was what Sesshoumaru had wanted. Witnessing it now, it was too reminiscent of his own feelings. The reflection in the still river showed Inuyasha as a child wrapped protectively in his mother's arms.
Sesshoumaru wondered what he would see if he were to look into the water.
He thought he would enjoy watching his younger brother's pain and that it would somehow quell his own. It just hurt more.
Then movement caught his eye. He turned to where the human girl was lying still by the undisturbed riverbank. She was chained down by the kappas under Jaken's control and the power of the illusion, yet there had been movement. Human spirits were, by their nature, incomparably weak against the forces at play. In fact, he considered, she should have died already. Regardless, she twisted her young mouth into a sneer, batted away at her captors, and stood without difficulty.
Inuyasha was almost completely lost. They just needed another moment for the demoness to coax out information of Tetsusaiga's whereabouts. However, the stupid girl, now swinging around the Human Head Staff, was about to ruin it all. She should not have even been here in the first place.
He began to charge, berating himself for going along with this scheme, when Inuyasha finally muttered something useful.
"The Pearl. The Black Pearl in the right..."
With his younger brother's whispered confession, the answer came to him. In hindsight, it had all made sense. Oh, his father was clever. A fool, yes, but a clever one.
"Inuyasha," Sesshoumaru called out from the dark and stepped through the haze as the temporary world melted around the still dreary hanyou. "I know where the tomb is now."
Once Inuyasha had wrested free of the spell Sesshoumaru appeared before him. His claws wrapped around the oblivious boy's neck and hoisted him off the ground. The full weight of his struggle stressed his muscles as he studied the angered eyes that look so much like their father's. He tried to see deeper in, pass any resemblance, and down to the place where the end of his quest waited.
"Seen, yet unseen," he recalled Bokuseno's words. "The bearer does not know it is within his sight." Reciting the riddle left a bitter taste in his mouth until he caught the glint within the golden glare. It was almost beckoning him. "The Black Pearl in the right..." He focused that anger into his fingertips, pointing them straight into the pupil, and felt old magic respond.
A Portal Pearl.
Blood splashed up his arm as his claws burst through Inuyasha's eye and choked screams vibrated through his strong grip when Sesshoumaru popped it free. Hot, viscous fluid gushed from the wound and went unnoticed by the taiyoukai. Once he had a hold of his prize, he simply tossed the hanyou aside.
The girl cried out as he stared at the small orb and the remains of Inuyasha sliding off its smooth surface. For a brief instant, it was as if it was the pearl itself that had cried.
This was a victory. For some reason, it still did not feel like one. Sesshoumaru sneered and looked down at the injured half-demon. 'Father should not died for such a pitiful thing,' he thought and suddenly he knew the perfect way to destroy the mutt. He would use Tetsusaiga itself to remove him from this world.
"Jaken," Sesshoumaru called out, ready to leave this all behind. "The staff."
From behind, the hanyou and his pet's disdain burrowed into his back. He ignored it easily until the woman's voice rang out strong, clear, and powerful.
"Hey you!" she screamed, and the informality of her language felt almost intimate. "You would use love as a weapon?"
His foot shifted towards her. Her anger tugged at him, begged him to look, and he tried to deny it. But the call was too great and every small fraction he turned the air around him brightened. There was the stink of blood and hatred radiating off of Inuyasha, and laced through it all there was the hint of blossoms. His clean hand lifted to brush his hair away so he could see her clearly. Jaken's gleeful cackle interrupted the moment. The imp ran up, the Human Head Staff in hand, and Sesshoumaru brought his mind back to his goal. Nevertheless, he could not help but feel as though he had missed something vital.
The pearl was struck and the Old Man on the staff began to laugh. Once the portal opened and nothing else stood in his way, he began to step into the gateway. The woman screamed after him. She was demanding his attention, as if her words could actually affect him.
"You're despicable!"
It was instinct that moved him, because he was unsure why he would even give the human and hanyou the smallest amount of attention. He looked over his shoulder enough to lock eyes with the girl and, finally, he pinpointed the source of the wild, summery scent. It flowed between them like an obscured stream, barely bubbling enough to continue on. The hairs on the back of his neck responded as if being attacked. She stared back at him with powerful, unrelenting indignation as he moved into the gateway and away from her scrutiny.
.
For centuries, Sesshoumaru's focus was the recovery of Tetsusaiga. He had spilt blood, burnt bridges, and wasted years on false leads. In doing so, he had also failed to understand that coming here would be raiding his father's tomb. As the haze from the portal cleared and the unnatural sunlight of this in-between space came into focus, Sesshoumaru felt his heart seize. This secret and serene resting place was what he had been searching for. He had not realized it would also be the last thing he had wanted to see.
Creeping vines covered the jagged ground and skeletal sentinels flew through an unnaturally still sky. It was quiet here in this place. It was peaceful, and he was an intruder. Sesshoumaru's ragged breaths burned his lungs as he landed at the base of the Inu no Taisho's sternum. There was his father, but not. It was just the bones of his father. A fragment. The hollow remainder of what once was stared down at him.
Those eyes were just empty. Less than empty. There was once life there. There was once burning autumns and warmth. There was once, and only once, a plea to have his heir by his side in his final moments. He might have survived if Sesshoumaru had joined him. Now, the great demon was just bones to be raided by the son that had turned his back when he was needed most.
He wanted to tear it all down. He wanted his claws to rip through those gigantic bones and revel in the crackling crystalline sound. He wanted his poison to course through the dried cracks and burn it all away. He needed to bring this place low. He needed to disappear.
And he also needed to protect it at all costs. The fury and sorrow... the pride and hero-worship... It all threatened to pull him apart as the contradiction boiled his blood. He longed to destroy it. He felt compelled to drop to his knee in veneration. Like a child, he wanted to take his prize and run. Then, he would never have to think about this awful, permanent place ever again.
Sesshoumaru forced himself to move forward into the tomb. The cavernous interior made him feel intimidated, anxious, and reminded him of the times he had stood waiting in his father's study. The entire ground was littered with the bones of the general's last enemies and each tentative step he took shattered more. Some were human, most were demon, and the rib cage that contained them all towered over him. It was as if the Great Dog General was still telling Sesshoumaru that he would never be able to fill the space he had left behind. All Sesshoumaru needed was the Fang to prove that none of it was true. He could not stop now, so he steeled his mind and took another step.
Then, he saw it. There, against the base of his father's spine, was an unassuming pedestal. At its center was a battered sword.
His eyes fixed to the buried blade and Sesshoumaru's senses tunneled to the ratty, ordinary thing embedded in the stone. His feet had dragged before. Now he moved as if he were floating. The invasive space around him faded the closer he got, until he was at the end of his quest.
At last, within his grasp, was Tetsusaiga.
A haunting breeze casted through the cavern, rattling off of the gigantic, cold armor. The echoes sounded of whispers and ghosts. He could recall the battle sounds of countless loyal youkai falling to the panther demons. Behind his back he could hear the quiet gossip of inconsistent, faithless nobles. All around were the excited murmurs of court the night Tetsusaiga had first been revealed. It was a foreboding sound, more like a warning, but he was so tired of others warning him away from what he was owed.
An unwanted memory stirred and he remembered Miko's frown the day she had seen the sword. It was as if she knew the trouble, pain, and need it would cause Sesshoumaru. She had known what this had meant then, what it would mean after she had gone, and to spite her now all he had to do was claim it. An unnatural gravity weighed down his hand, slowing his approach and heightening the anticipation within him. He wrapped his long fingers around Tetsusaiga's hilt and waited for relief. With this power sheathed at his side, he would at last return to...
The sudden emptiness caught him off guard. What was there to return to?
His fingers twitched. A blinding spark ignited and liquid hot pain lanced up his arm. His muscles seized as youki pierced into him. Growling, he fought the attack back enough so he could release his grip, then looked at the fresh burns on his palm.
"Father was cautious," he explained out loud, mostly to stop Jaken's blubbering. He stared for a minute... an hour, he could not discern. The spell was not one he knew of, yet the dismissal felt familiar. The back of his eyes burned and his throat constricted with a hundred curses that were trying to claw their way out. Every nerve in his body felt raw and exposed. He stood there and tried to process what the next move should be, but all he wanted was for the floor to swallow him whole. His father still denied him what he was owed, even from the grave.
"Sesshoumaru!" a gruff, young voice suddenly screamed from above.
Steeling himself, the taiyoukai lifted his gaze and found that the hanyou was not alone. His curious female clung tightly to him as they fell, her skirt flying almost above her hips. The thought of his half-brother chasing him here for a fight was laughable. But the human woman as well?
It was unimaginable.
She hid behind a massive rib as Inuyasha approached, his teeth grinding so hard Sesshoumaru could hear it from fifty paces away. Eager claws readied in an attack and Inuyasha lunged, searching for solace. The mutt's anger was warranted and it made his attacks wild. Fury strained the corner of his dull-gold eyes as he swung with abandon and crashed into the surroundings when Sesshoumaru dodged.
The hanyou rolled into a rib bone that cracked into a spider web of splinters and Sesshoumaru flinched. "This is our father's resting place!" he heard himself shout before realizing what he was saying. "Be respectful."
As soon as the demand left his lips, Sesshoumaru felt sullied. How, when he vowed to disentangle himself from the unworthy reverence of his sire, that disturbing the sanctity of his tomb could make him jump to his service again? There was still a kindling of worship for him in his heart and he was so anxious to snuff it out. He would also see to it that his bastard son rotted away with him.
Inuyasha was about to spring for another attack when he stopped short. A smaller demonic presence Sesshoumaru had not noticed was directing the mutt's attention to Tetsusaiga.
Sesshoumaru paused. Surely, if he could not break through the spell, this reckless, unwanted child would not dare. A larger part of him wanted to cut Inuyasha down before he could put his unworthy hands on it, yet another part was curious. Would the protective, paranoid precautions of his father kill him? Would it not react at all; just stay silent and seated in its pedestal? Or... would Inuyasha be able to claim it?
The thought shot cold adrenaline through his body, but Inuyasha had shrugged off the suggestion. "Keh," the mutt responded. "I could care less about the dumb sword. But you, Sesshoumaru, will die here!"
The elder brother stared for a slow, dumbfounded moment and reflected, 'He could... "care less"...'
Then, the taiyoukai's clawpoints grew and he jumped just in time to avoid Inuyasha's swipe. "Where are you aiming?" he taunted, goading the boy into frenzied attacks so as to not say what was actually on his mind.
'The power to win wars, to heal my kingdom, to break the last bonds to our faithless father... and you could "care less"?'
Sesshoumaru blurred from Inuyasha's claws yet again, tormenting the half-breed with his uselessness.
'It was father's power, and he could "care less".'
Over and over, Sesshoumaru led Inuyasha to crash through the tomb that had been undisturbed for centuries and retrained his mind to not concern himself over the destruction. He landed gracefully on a rib bone, gaining just enough clearance to catch a glimpse of the underside of his father's giant skull, and grimaced.
'To hell with you both.'
The girl then called out, her raven hair bouncing as she argued with the hanyou, and again the lilt of her voice struck a chord within some hidden away place of his mind. She was demanding, but it was more than that. She was demanding Inuyasha to believe he was more than how Sesshoumaru saw him- more than what he was.
"Inuyasha! Just go and grab the sword" she called down, somehow trusting and scolding the mutt at the same time. Her spirit, her steadfast heart, her sharp tone... it all felt very familiar.
But it wasn't until the girl said his name that dread crept up his spine.
"Sesshoumaru couldn't do it!" she yelled and he froze. "If you pull it out with ease, his pride will be shredded!"
Venom laced each syllable of his own name on her lips and he knew that voice. As her bright, promising scent fully awakened his sleeping mind, Sesshoumaru stepped back and took a cautious moment to actually look at her.
It... it was Miko.
That was impossible. She was not real. He had willed her away and had spent long years deliberately denying any memory of her. She was a fantasy.
Yet, here she was. Her ferocity radiated off her in waves that threatened to knock him down. He stared, transfixed, and it was not until he was staring at her face again did he realize how much he had actually forgotten of her. The memory of her soft smiles consisted of just how they calmed him, not the actual shape of her mouth. The faded feel of her fierce grip existed only as the ache it had left behind, not the lithe fingers themselves. He had not remembered the way her hair danced about her or the wrinkle between her brow, but the way he had felt when she looked into him. Just as in his dream, she had faded.
Faced with her now, the true memory of her flooded him and he was drowning in things once long forgotten. She was younger than he had last seen her- just a child facing young adulthood, yet the essence of her was there. The hope in her eyes. The shape of her nose. The wave of her hair. The odd clothing and the sturdy tilt in her stance. Her long, strong hands and the frustrated blush staining her cheeks. It was all the same.
Then, there was the scent- the familiarity of it. A warm promise of spring crept from the foretelling hairs at the nape of his neck, trailing over his skin and invading a cold, barely alive place within him. No wonder he could not place the scent before. It should have never existed. There was really only one night he was surrounded in it, when she was fully realized in his arms and they gave their hearts and bodies to each other. It was only the one night before his entire world had fallen apart. Really, what he had remembered of her, what he had imagined, was supposed to be the only true proof of her existence in the first place. Miko did not exist without his desire for her to be there.
Apparently, it did not stop her from enduring on.
No, this was impossible. It had to be the shock of being in this place. It was playing tricks on his mind, stirring up a part of his life best left forgotten. Sesshoumaru forced himself back into the moment at hand and berated himself for finding a ghost in an innocuous bystander.
He had almost forgotten Inuyasha was there until a cocky laugh broke into his awareness.
Inuyasha grabbed the sword on Miko's- No, the human girl's command. The spell instantly took hold. Electric youki danced and pierced all around him, alighting the dead space. The hanyou screamed, unashamed of his display of pain and weakness, because no one had ever taught him otherwise. Sesshoumaru watched this witless child gain what he could not- what was owed to him- and knew this would be the final slap in the face.
All at once, the lightning and screaming stopped. Inuyasha pulled his scorched hand from Tetsusaiga, still safely secured, and the room became unnaturally quiet.
Sesshoumaru's frown had grown to a full scowl without his notice. Now, it twisted into a victorious smirk. Inuyasha had failed, and so had the human. She was just a foolish girl, not a whisper of something more. She was of no consequence and the hanyou's worth had been tapped.
His boot scratched against the dusty bone as he braced to leap, then there was a beat against his side. It was quiet, barely noticeable, and if he had not taken a moment to calm himself he would have missed it entirely. Tensaiga was trying to interject. Gritting his teeth, Sesshoumaru grabbed the hilt and squeezed. 'Be quiet,' he thought to the Heavenly Blade. 'You are as worthless as the mutt you were created for.'
He lunged and Inuyasha barely dodged out his path. Too easily, Sesshoumaru caught up and grasped onto his collarbone. Then, he spun, flinging them both to the side of the tomb and pinning Inuyasha. The air soured as his poison began to leak from his claw points. It stung both their eyes, but Sesshoumaru was used to it. He struck and, once again, Inuyasha barely missed a fatal blow. The scorched hair scent mingled with his Dokkasona, trailing after the younger brother as he fled. There was nowhere to go. For every one of Inuyasha's evasions, Sesshoumaru was there, knocking him to the ground or landing a brutish punch to his face. The anger grew in them both until finally Inuyasha charged and Sesshoumaru was given the perfect opportunity.
He stooped enough to miss Inuyasha's outreached hand then quickly rose, digging his own claws into the hanyou's gut. His foe spit blood as he was lifted off his feet and was only in the air for a second before Sesshoumaru slammed him against the ground.
"Now," he said as prepared his poison again, "Disappear."
Tensaiga's beat shuddered through him. The hackles on his neck rose again and a presence he had not felt in centuries suddenly enveloped him. The same dread that had begun to creep its way up his spine returned, this time burrowing itself at the base of his skull. He did not want to turn and see what he already knew to be true. But, it was so unimaginable that he had to see it with his own eyes.
Miko stood at the pedestal, her knees bloodied, and held Tetsusaiga. It was freed and in the grip of a slight human girl who should have never been there in the first place. She held it high, admiring it as if she could see its true form under its rusty disguise. He could no longer scent the dust or death or poison in the air. For the moment he was staring at her, acknowledging her fully, there was only citrus and sun and a foreboding hint of warmth. She appeared so capable and so out of place. It hurt so much to see a figment of his imagination be worth more than he was that it could be no one else but Miko.
Then, Inuyasha was pleading. "Leave her out of this, Sesshoumaru!" he choked out in desperate gasps. "She has nothing to do with this! She's just a human!"
He was wrong. Sesshoumaru dropped his brother and, in a blink, stood over Miko. He had landed very close to her, as if it were only the natural thing to do. As if he had been there a hundred times before. She stumbled back in response, fear lancing through her eyes as she held the sword tighter.
"What are you?" he asked. He had asked Miko the same so many years ago. 'I'm here, Sesshoumaru,' she had answered, her frustration staining her false cheeks in a pretty blush. 'Isn't that enough?'
In front of him now, he could sense that this girl was truly corporeal, and to answer him she swung the blade his way and scowled. "Don't come near me, or I'll kill you!" Her hands did not shake while she berated him. "You couldn't pull it out! You aren't supposed to have it!"
She was so brave, but it was fear that allowed bravery and a hopeful thread of doubt weaved into his thoughts: Miko was never frightened of him. He was so close to her now, staring down into her soft face as he had countless times before, and the fire in her eyes was so similar. Yes, it was almost the same. As a matter of fact, these were brown eyes, not the deep azure of Miko's own. She was resolute and stubborn, but scared, and the tightness in his chest loosened.
Inuyasha was still screaming for mercy as she argued back, ignoring the threat directly in front of her. No, of course this was not her. That would be impossible. He was just being a sentimental fool, tricking himself because he was surrounded by ghosts.
He chuckled low and caught the eyes of the girl again.
"You care for her." he said to Inuyasha, and acknowledged the fact to himself. After these long years part of him still did care for her. Can Inuyasha not see how impractical it was to care for a mortal? Did he not learn his own lesson? He took a deep breath and reminded himself that this was not her. She could not be Her, and it was painfully apparent that being so close to the end of his goal was tormenting him.
"Why protect her?" he projected. Why did he hold onto her memory? After what Inuyasha had been through, why did he allow himself to be vulnerable to another? Why...
"Why love her?"
And there it was; the reason for all his pain. He had loved and Miko had betrayed him. She had made him believe that the path of his life, the power and prestige that were his right, was lacking. She had nurtured weakness within him and now he would see to it that her influence would be snuffed out forever. It was providence, not a curse, that he should see a ghost in this girl now. He would make it disappear. He would take up Tetsusaiga's claim and prove that he was the strongest demon alive. That had been his plan all along and nothing would get in his way. Not this wisp of a girl, nor the useless sword at his side, nor the misconceived hanyou.
Turning his full attention back to the human, Sesshoumaru tried not to see the small girl that had greeted him in a sunny field. He lamented the fact that Miko was still not dead inside him, even after all these years, and this human would perish for daring to resemble such an offense in any way. "Now, die."
She screamed, not in defiance, but out of fear and pain. The helpless sound shot through his heart and Tensaiga choked a single beat at his hip. He ignored them both and continued to stream poison towards her. 'Just die,' he begged. 'This is not her. It can not be her. Please die and go away. Just disappear.'
Two children, one demon and one human, sparred together as a game. Their powers intimated each other as they also reassured one another. "It is not as if I could hurt you."
Once the cloud cleared, there was just a mound of melted bone and stone and Tetsusaiga poking out from the makeshift grave. "Hn." Unwanted relief flooded over him as he turned away. The specter, the imposter was only human after all.
Sorrow infected Inuyasha's battle cry. The death of his human companion ignited the temporary power one gained from loss and he charged. Sesshoumaru barely avoided him and took the opportunity to taunt him, ignoring the fact that he was projecting on the younger brother. "As if a hanyou like you could even touch me."
Inuyasha's inhuman growl filled the space between them. "You bastard. This one is for Kagome."
His brow wrinkled. '...Kagome?'
The next swipe came at him faster than the half-breed should have been capable of. Claws screeched across the armor at his chest, sending up sparks and shards of bone between them. Shocked, the taiyoukai veered away.
"They are not worth it," he thought out loud when he landed. "Why show such anger over a mere mortal?"
He was about to finish off the last of his obstacles when the next beat from Tensaiga made his steps falter. The dank air in the room dissipated and suddenly he was surrounded by the sandalwood scent of his father and the warm, welcoming feeling of spring. Crumbling rock from the corner of his eye drew his attention and he watched as Miko pulled herself out from the molten mess he had left her in. The poison had not touched her.
He is lonely in a field, wishing for a friend, when the sun is blocked by a presenceless shadow. He is a child, learning of the systemic cruelty of hanyou and feeling sick. He is uneasy and frightened that he has little control over his own life. He is on the precipice of his alpha trials, the insults thrown at his father echoing in his head. And Miko is there... holding his hand in her capable fingers. She is smiling at him from an unnoticed corner of a room. She is whispering his name and he only feels safe and seen when they are alone together. Her soft touches and brief, fully realized lips soothe every part of him that had ever ached.
As he stared, she swung Tetsusaiga his way and screamed. "Sesshoumaru! You really tried to kill me!" Again, his name was a curse on her lips. Her voice had no love in it for him. There was no history. In fact, there was no recognition in it at all. "Well, you're going to regret it now!"
From the memories of their shared childhood, Miko taunted him. "Something tells me not to depend too much on that sword."
He felt true despair as he watched her gift Inuyasha the Tetsusaiga. The hanyou was the reason his father was dead in the first place. Now, the whelp held his greatest legacy and smiled as he gripped it as one would hold a bamboo cutter or as a child held a stick to pretend they were a samurai. And she had forgotten him completely.
Like his mother shedding a single tear while she stood over him and crowned him king, Sesshoumaru felt himself break. Overwhelming anger took over his hard-earned control and it felt so damn freeing to fully give in. Miko's wrong colored eyes widened in shock as his youki swelled as if it was the first time she had seen him at all. He had trusted the light in those eyes. He had confided in her. At one point, he was willing to upend his entire life for a chance to bring her fully to life in his arms. Then he did, and she had taken it all away and more the next morning.
The transformation took hold and he welcomed the chance for his mind to drift off. The stretch of skin heightened his nerves. The sprouting of fur and his muzzle awoke all of his senses. Then, there was the scorching heat as his energy unleashed. The cathartic flames seared away any lingering doubt of what he had to do. She did not mean anything anymore and he did not mean anything to her. She had handed the sword to Inuyasha. She was not here for him. She did not even know who he was.
Poison pooled in thick puddles at his feet, eroding the scattered skulls that covered the floors of this obscene temple. He snapped his canine jaws over and over, longing for something to break between his fangs and his nerves ached with the desire to feel them rubbed raw. The need for blood, for permanent resolution, sang throughout him. In this form he saw sharper, clearer, and he focused on the pair of them.
He flew through the air as the empty spaces between his teeth made him salivate. He needed them to shatter under the strength of his fury. He needed to feel their lives release between his own jaws. He pounced after Miko, then went after Inuyasha. Recklessly, he collided within the cavity of his father. The fool's heart used to beat within this cavernous void, and now there was only destruction and his own deafening roars. They echoed and allowed his grief a place to hide in the chaos.
At last, Inuyasha's steps had faltered and Sesshoumaru caught him in his jaws. Slowly, he closed his mouth to relish the feel of Inuyasha's body crush within it.
Then, searing heat exploded in his eye.
Inuyasha had stabbed him and, though Tetsusaiga remained untransformed, a bit of his father's spirit had pushed through. It was the rush of youki rather than the actual piercing blade that made him recoil. Sesshoumaru tried to shake it off, but it would not relent. He leapt up, barreling through his father's shoulder plate and collarbone, until he no longer felt trapped.
He batted at the injury with his large, white paw and waited for his adrenaline to dull the sting.
Inuyasha had followed him up and, perched on the shoulder of their father, had the gall to scoff. "We are nothing compared to him. Look, we are standing on him."
In response, the large dog demon lowered to attack. He needed them gone. He needed them dead. He needed to run.
With a self-assured expression, one that reminded Sesshoumaru so much of the demon that he had looked up to for the majority of his life, Inuyasha said, "He wanted me to have this sword, which shows he thought me more worthy than you!"
His beast roared. 'You did not even know him.' Sesshoumaru's need grew as he remembered standing in front of the large holy tree Inuyasha had been sealed to. He had wondered then why he was not worth the same sacrifice his father had shown a hanyou. What had the boy ever done to deserve anything, let alone the things he had cherished the most? Why was this brat worth the Inu no Taisho's death? Why wasn't Sesshoumaru worth him staying alive?
His gut clenched and he stared down with crimson eyes. Inuyasha glared back at him with their father's.
Miko was crying out, but not for him, and Inuyasha took his heated stare off of him to spin to the girl.
"Just stay back!" he screamed, "I'll protect you!"
There was a salty breeze and moonlight on coastal sands and his fallen hero and anger and blood. So much blood.
A pleasant, rosy hue blossomed on her cheeks and admiration illuminated her eyes. He knew that look and the culminating insult of their shared existence felt like the worst betrayal of all. He lashed out. All of his hard-earned training was forgotten and his attack was impulsive. There was just the Need. He needed Tetsusaiga. He needed them to stop showing love for one another. He needed them to disappear and he needed to leave this haunted place where his father was watching him fail.
There was the Need, then there was pain. Without warning, Tetsusaiga's true strength had emerged with Inuyasha's next attack. The Earthly Blade, the Fang with the power to destroy a hundred youkai in a single swing, was now slicing up his arm. The hanyou held the hilt steady as it severed nerves, muscles, and bone with ease. Bright light blinded him and Sesshoumaru was suddenly adrift in the physical agony. Tenseiga was screaming and Inuyasha's own gruff, victorious snarl echoed in his ears as he finished with Sesshoumaru's arm then sliced him across the chest.
He fell. He had lost. This was not a stalemate war or a sparring session gone wrong, this was a true battle for his father's legacy that he had lost to a half-demon disgrace. He had been blindsided by both Inuyasha's ability to wield Tetsusaiga and by Miko's presence. Both were to be considered unthinkable before. Now, he fell, the blazing agony of defeat radiating from his missing arm, and was humiliated.
Stale winds whipped passed his ears and he watched, disconnected, as his own blood trailed the path of his descent. He traced the path back to where Inuyasha stood. Miko was at his side, smiling. She was so happy that Sesshoumaru had failed.
Using his remaining strength, Sesshoumaru pulled his remaining youki inwards and streaked away in a trail of light. He knew he was running away. He did not care. He could handle another moment of her smile. Or of his blood staining what remained of his father.
As he escaped, ashamed, Sesshoumaru held onto the thin hope that he had somehow tricked himself. It did not lessen the fury or the need to dispatch them both, but he held onto the idea that the past was not literally coming back to thwart him. Miko had been imaginary. This girl was flesh and blood. Their spirit, conversely, was almost too similar. However corporeal she was, the girl seemed lacking, as if the whole painting of her had been made with broad strokes. If it was truly her, then she was a pale shadow of what she had been with him. She was younger and more foolish. Her sense of self-preservation had diminished. She was Miko and at the same time she was not. Also, above all else, there was the biggest tell of all.
She was not even a priestess.
…