Chapter 37: Compromising Positions

Hotch held the door open to his apartment and leant against it while Emily and Jack walked through, giggling and chatting away about their movie choice for the night. It was their usual debate, which typically ended with Emily conceding defeat to her five-year old challenger. And it looked like the exchange was going the same way as every other bout in the past, with Jack in the lead.

Emily's vote went to Atlantis or Tarzan.

Jack was firm on Finding Nemo.

Much to Hotch's relief, Emily was working hard to convince Jack to give his favourite movie a rest for once. They were racking up quite the record for number of views of that story and Hotch was praying for a change. He couldn't help the chuckle that escaped his mouth as Emily argued that Tarzan had talking monkeys and Atlantis was about an adventure under the sea, so either way, Jack would be thoroughly entertained.

Jack sighed and looked up at Emily's face, "Ok Emily," he said softly, "We can watch… the monkey one."

Emily kissed the top of Jack's head and smiled up at Hotch, the grown-ups relieved to be taking a break from Nemo and his travels down under. As they looked at each other, both Emily and Hotch knew that, if Jack hadn't conceded defeat, they would be watching Nemo again tonight... neither of them could say no to the boy.

Hotch continued into the kitchen, unpacking the groceries while Emily settled Jack in the living room. He smiled when he heard Jack tell Emily that he wished they were at her house, where he could play with the Transformer toys that had become his new favourite. He was turning back from the fridge when Emily walked into the kitchen.

"Your kid is so smart," Emily remarked as she grabbed a chopping board from the cabinet and a knife from the drawer, "I was showing him the Tarzan DVD case and he told me that they're apes, not monkeys."

Hotch huffed and nodded, handing Emily the head of broccoli and bag of carrots and turning back to the fridge and pantry for the sauces, "He does watch an awful lot of David Attenborough."

"Maybe you should let him spend time with Reid," Emily replied, "It could be like a genius internship."

Hotch laughed out loud and shook his head, "I'm not sure how Reid would cope with that." He sighed and looked over at Emily, chopping up the vegetables for the stir-fry, "So how are you feeling after Akron?"

Emily furrowed her brow and shrugged, bringing the knife down hard on the chopping board, "I'm fine," she replied, wishing Hotch would find something else to talk about. It wasn't that she was planning to keep her thoughts to herself indefinitely. She just hadn't found the right words yet.

"Emily," Hotch warned, turning to face her and crossing his arms across his chest. He could usually break through her walls, but needed to maintain eye contact in order to make any real impact. Emily Prentiss was as stubborn as they came, and Hotch knew she could dig her feet in better than anyone else he knew. But Hotch was stubborn too, so the question was, would Emily be two-nil against the Hotchner boys tonight, or could Hotch redeem the family name.

Emily rolled her eyes, ignoring the position Hotch had taken. She knew what he was doing, and she didn't want to spoil their night before it had even started, so she did the only thing she could think of to stall. She turned the spotlight onto Hotch, "How are you after that case?" she asked, "Seemed like you and Garcia hit some bumps."

Hotch frowned and studied Emily's face, coming to a realisation that she didn't want to talk right now, and if he persisted, she might decide to just leave. And that would break Jack's heart. Turning to look at Emily, Hotch huffed to himself, who was he kidding? It would break his heart too. If she kept pushing off his questions after they put Jack to bed, he'd call her out on it, but there was no reason to spoil their dinner by pushing now.

His face softened and he turned back to the marinade he was working on. As he shook the sesame seeds into the bowl, he sighed, "I think we'll work it out, but for now, it's going to be a learning curve," he replied, "There are aspects of JJ's role that Garcia is suited to, and aspects of the role that fit better with me. We just need to figure out who does what and try to avoid any bloodshed."

Emily nodded, "Do you think she'll be in the field on every case?" she asked as she transferred the chopped vegetables into a large glass bowl. She searched for the bag of baby corn that had been packed in with the groceries, but it was nowhere to be seen. She turned to check the fridge, but to no avail, and was about to ask Hotch where he'd left it when the bag suddenly appeared in front of her.

"I don't think Garcia needs to be in the field all the time… she'll be there when we need her, like we've always done," he replied, as he turned back to the pantry for the noodles, "But I think she'll do better staying back at the Unit."

Emily nodded and sighed, shifting the corn into the bowl with the rest of the vegetables and covering the bowl with the lid. As she tossed the mixture around, Emily looked over at Hotch, tearing open the noodle packet, and she smiled. The setting felt so domestic, the two of them in the kitchen, making dinner. Jack in the living room, playing with his toys. Coltrane in the CD player and a fresh bottle of cabernet in their glasses. It felt like any typical Saturday night for a family of three, making stir-fry and watching movies.

It was something that she had been hoping for with Hotch, that things would naturally progress, and as she watched him take the bowl out of her hands and add the marinade, Emily's heart started to beat fast in her chest. She couldn't help the natural instinct to flee… to run. It was her MO, to run when things became too serious, or when she felt she could be truly happy. Part of it was self-preservation: if she didn't open herself up to the good things, she wouldn't risk tempting fate.

Emily bit her lip and turned back to the big drawer under the microwave, taking out the wok. She turned back to the stove and started the burner, adding oil to the large pan and waiting for it to heat up.

Right now, her temptation to flee was being fed by her past decisions, and the ramifications if those decisions came to light. She couldn't see a way through, and until she had figured that out, she couldn't move forward with Hotch. While she had other secrets, that would ruin her relationships with the team, with Zac, and most definitely with Hotch, Emily's secret about Zac was at the top of the list. Telling him about Zac was risking the possibility of Hotch hating her for keeping such a big secret. She had lied to him for so long… she shook her head as she thought about it... she had actually worked very hard to never lie to him. She had withheld the truth from him for so long that she worried that telling him now, without the right words, would only end in a screaming match and heartbreak.

For her, for Hotch… she looked into the living room to the little boy playing with his cars… for Jack.

Emily had hope, however, that if she found the right words to explain her decision to keep Zac a secret, Hotch would understand. He would forgive her for keeping that part of her life to herself, and they could move forward. Working out how to tell him had been the focus of Emily's most recent session with her new therapist.

How the tell the man she loved that she had a son.

The therapist seemed to understand Emily's reasons for keeping Zac from the team, and she had acknowledged that it would be a massive step for Emily to trust anyone, even Hotch, with this information. But Emily had been adamant that this was her goal, so they were working hard to come up with some scripting that would allow Emily to open up to Hotch, without making it seem like Emily had done something wrong. Because as her therapist kept reminding her, Emily's choice to keep Zac a secret was wrapped up in the mess of her work. And the monsters she was most afraid of wouldn't think twice about taking him out in order to hurt her. So she had made the decision that, in order to protect Zac from the monsters, she had to shield him from everyone, even her team.

Emily had been so caught up in her thoughts that, when she felt Hotch's hand on her back, she jumped, holding her hand over her heart as she let out a breath.

"Sorry, Em," Hotch said softly, handing her the bowl of ingredients and running his hand over her back in an effort to comfort her. He hadn't meant to scare her, and assumed that her jitters were related to the events of the week. It wasn't often that they were put in a position to kill an unsub, so for Emily, the outcome of the investigation had been bitter and Hotch figured that anyone in her position would be a little jumpy.

As she took the bowl from his hands, Emily tipped her head to the living room, "Why don't you take care of bath time, and I'll take care of dinner?" she asked, eying Hotch nervously. She didn't want him to ask too many questions right now, but she knew they were coming. Bath time and dinner could prolong the inevitable, and she knew Hotch would be pushing for answers when Jack was in bed. Emily needed some time to herself, without Hotch as a distraction, so she could come up with something to say. She was grateful when he simply nodded and squeezed her shoulder.

"Ok," Hotch replied, "But if you finish cooking before we're done, you leave the washing up for me to do."

Emily huffed and saluted him sarcastically, "Yes sir."

Hotch rolled his eyes and shook his head, turning back to head into the living room to call out to Jack.

"Alright buddy," he said brightly, "Time for a bath."

The credits rolled on the movie and Hotch looked over to his side to check on his companions, only to find that Jack and Emily were both passed out.

He smiled at the sight of it all. Jack curled up in Emily's arms, his head tucked against her chest. Emily's head resting on Jack's soft hair, and her arms wrapped protectively around his side.

Hotch felt like his chest was about to burst as he watched his two favourite people sleep, and wondered what he ever did to deserve the two of them in his life. Jack was his living, breathing reminder of all the good in the world. Innocent and kind. Emily was the bright spark in his day, always there with a joke to cheer him up or a hug to comfort him. The two of them together had kept him going in some of his darkest days, and even though they'd only been a part of his life for the last five, he couldn't imagine life without either of them.

Hotch stood from the couch, trying to be gentle and not wake them. He picked up their empty ice cream bowls and made his way into the kitchen, stacking them all into the dishwasher. Just as he was standing up, Emily's phone began to buzz on the kitchen counter, and Hotch leant over to check the ID, frowning when he saw the name.

Zac.

He looked up to see if Emily had woken up at the sound, but she and Jack were lying still. Hotch turned back to the dishes and turned on the hot water in the sink to get started on the rest. He was just adding the soap when Emily's phone buzzed again with another call. Hotch leant over and checked the ID.

Zac.

He wondered if he should wake Emily, seeing as this person was clearly trying to get through to her. She'd had such an awful week, and had told Hotch that morning that she'd had trouble sleeping last night, when they'd returned from Akron. So Hotch decided that she could call this Zac guy back when she woke up. She needed her rest.

Hotch turned back to the sink and added the soap, then lowered the wok into the water. He decided that it could soak for a few minutes, and he turned back to finish stacking the dishwasher. Once it was full, he switched on the machine and closed the lid on the Tupperware holding the leftovers. He was just closing the fridge when his own cell began to buzz on the counter next to Emily's. He checked the caller ID, but it was a blocked number.

"Hotchner."

The line was silent for a moment, until Hotch heard someone clearing their throat.

"Uh… hi… is this Aaron Hotchner?"

"Yes," Hotch replied succinctly, "Who's this?"

"Uh… hi Agent Hotchner. My name is Zac… I'm… uh… I'm looking for Agent Emily Prentiss."

Hotch's eyes grew wide and he looked into the living room, checking that Emily was still asleep. She and Jack hadn't moved from their spot, so he figured it was a safe bet that they would be out until Hotch woke them up. He made his way down the hall and into his bedroom, closing the door for some privacy.

"Agent Prentiss isn't available right now," Hotch replied, "May I ask what this is in relation to?"

"Uh… I've been trying to get onto Agent Prentiss for awhile now," Zac explained, "But she hasn't been picking up. It's got me worried and I just wanted to make sure she's ok."

"Agent Prentiss is…" Hotch paused and sighed, "May I ask what your relationship is to Agent Prentiss?"

Zac cleared his throat, "She's uh… I'm her… friend," he replied, "She said she'd call today, but she hasn't, and she gave me this number for emergencies."

"Oh, ok," Hotch replied, not sure if that helped to alleviate his concerns, or amplified them, "I'm sorry, but Agent Prentiss has just returned from a really difficult case. She's getting some rest right now…" Hotch paused and sighed, "I can get her to give you a call back?"

Zac sighed, "No… that's ok. I'll give her a call tomorrow and check in with her then," he replied, "Thanks for your help… goodbye."

There was a click and Zac was gone, before Hotch even had time to react.

Hotch's eyes grew wide as he contemplated what had just happened. This person whose existence he'd been pondering for so long had just called him. What could he do with this information? What did this call mean? Did Emily give just anyone Hotch's cell number, or was Zac someone special?

Footsteps in the hallway woke Hotch from his thoughts and he opened the door, finding Emily carrying Jack down to his bedroom. She stopped when she saw him and offered a tired smile, taking note of Hotch's appearance. He looked tired, but there was something else.

"Sorry I fell asleep," she said, in a soft whisper so as not to wake Jack, "I was just going to put him to bed."

Hotch smiled and made his way over to Emily and Jack, reaching up to run his hand over his son's back, "I'll take him," he whispered back, "Do you want some tea?" he asked, reaching over to take Jack out of Emily's arms.

Emily nodded, "I'll go put the kettle on," she replied, reaching up to squeeze Hotch's shoulder, "And then we can talk a little, if that's ok?"

Hotch nodded and leant forward to kiss Emily on the forehead, "I'll be right out," he replied, watching Emily turn and head back towards the kitchen, disappearing around the corner.

Once she was out of sight, Hotch turned back towards Jack's room, the little boy clearly out for the count. As he lay Jack in his bed, he thought about what Emily had said, and was glad that he waited for her to come to him, when she was ready. Hopefully now, they could talk and she could get it all off her chest, and tonight, she could sleep peacefully.

Hotch looked up from Emily, running his fingers through her hair while she read her book, and caught sight of their friends as they walked across the large patch of grass. He tapped Emily's shoulder and she looked up at him with a smile.

"They're here," Hotch said softly, pointing in the direction of JJ, Will, and Henry making their way towards them, passing a group of guys in the midst of a game of touch football.

Emily quickly closed her book and sat up on her knees from her spot on the picnic blanket and waved her hands in the air, watching JJ, Will, and Henry make their way towards them. She leant a hand on Hotch's shoulder and smiled.

"They're here!"

Hotch chuckled, watching Emily jump up from the blanket, unable to wait for the family to reach them. She hadn't seen JJ in a couple of weeks and he knew they'd missed each other. Hotch furrowed his brow, he actually only knew Emily's side of it, since he also hadn't spoken to JJ in almost a month, not out of any avoidance on either of their parts... they were just both busy people. He had heard time and again from Emily that she had assumed JJ's move to State would mean she'd be more accessible.

She wasn't.

Emily and JJ ran towards each other, stopping only when they had embraced in a tight hug, the velocity of their clash almost knocking them both to the ground.

"Oh my god!" Emily exclaimed, "Where the hell have you been?"

JJ chuckled as she clung to her friend, "You don't want to know," she replied, stepping back and smiling as they looked over to the blanket, where Hotch and Jack were waiting, "Let's just say the transition to State hasn't been as smooth as you'd expect."

Emily chuckled, glancing between JJ and Will, "What can you tell me then? Do you have access to better stationary? Is the coffee better?" Emily joked.

Will stepped over to kiss Emily's cheek and rolled his eyes, smiling when he heard JJ laugh, "JJ might just be better at keeping secrets than you now, Emily," he remarked as they turned to head over to the others. When they reached the blanket, Will held out a hand to shake with Hotch, both men smiling politely.

Emily raised her eyebrows and smiled, "Well… you're back now," she said, letting go of JJ and stepping back to let Hotch have a hug with their friend. She knew it had been awhile since they'd seen each other, and when she'd suggested a picnic in separate conversations, both JJ and Hotch had said yes without any reservations. JJ's exit was still a sore spot for Hotch, who still saw it as a failure on his part, regardless of how much persuading Emily tried.

"How are you?" Hotch asked softly, hugging JJ tight. He wasn't usually one for public displays of affection, but Emily's demonstrative nature meant that she was slowly breaking down that wall, and with JJ now being friend and not colleague, Hotch felt he could make an exception.

JJ smiled sadly and ran her hand through Henry's hair as she stood back from Hotch, "I miss you guys, so much." She looked at Hotch and Emily, and then down at Jack on the picnic rug, and sensed that things had grown since she'd last seen them all. The last time she and Emily had caught up over coffee, she was still insisting that they were just friends, but as she watched Emily tease Hotch, JJ was starting to wonder.

Will placed Henry down on the ground, and he waddled over to where Jack was playing with a toy truck. The two boys hadn't spent much time together, but when Jack held out the truck to Henry, and Henry gave him a big smile in return, it was clear they'd be friends in no time.

"Take a seat," Emily said, gesturing to the blanket. The four adults sat down, Emily and JJ in one corner, Hotch and Will in the other, and Hotch reached into the cooler to hand out drinks. Emily unpacked the sandwiches and placed them in the middle of the blanket so everyone could serve themselves. After JJ broke apart a sandwich for Henry, the little guy insisted on sitting next to his new friend, following Jack to a free space on the blanket.

Once everyone was settled, Emily turned to JJ.

"So what can you tell me," Emily asked, studying her friend's face. She had her suspicions about JJ's post, considering she'd spent the last two weeks out of the country and had only just been transferred. But Emily's experience in foreign affairs meant that she knew not to expect too much detail from her friend.

JJ took a sip of her soda, contemplating what she could divulge, "I'm working on a special project," she explained, "There is some travel involved right now, but that will only be temporary."

Emily nodded and smiled, "I won't comment on the vagueness of that reply, and will just skip straight to the casual stuff… how's the…" Emily paused and cleared her throat, resulting in a chuckle from JJ.

JJ just grabbed her friend around the shoulder and squeezed her tight, "God, I've missed you." She'd been thinking about sharing her and Will's plans to expand their family, but their coffee a couple of weeks earlier hadn't really been the place. JJ looked around the park and wondered if she could convince Emily to take the kids for a walk so they could have some privacy from the guys. She could really do with her friend's advice. Just as she opened her mouth to speak, someone else gave her an out.

"Emily," Jack asked, plonking himself down in her lap and playing with her hair, "Can you come and kick the ball with me?"

JJ snorted and finished the last bite of her sandwich, watching Emily interact with Hotch's son. If someone had told her how close they seemed to be, she never would have believed them. But in the time that they'd been enjoying their picnic, Jack had deferred to Emily on decisions about which sandwich he should eat for lunch, whether he should have a juice box or water, and what game he should try to teach Henry next. And JJ's observations suggested that Hotch didn't mind one bit, her typically serious former-boss watching them interact with a smile on his face.

"Sure buddy," Emily said, running her fingers through his hair, "Why don't JJ and I come and kick the ball to you and Henry?" she asked, getting a nod from JJ as they stood from the blanket.

Emily took the ball that Hotch held up, and ran over to a large swatch of grass behind them, dropping the ball on the ground and kicking it to Jack. JJ walked over and stood next to Emily so they could keep talking, and they just kept kicking the ball for the boys to chase.

"This is great," JJ remarked, "Henry is going to be so tired, he won't fight me on going to sleep and I'll be able to have some alone time with my man."

Emily snorted and shook her head, "Trying to give Henry a little brother or sister, hey?" she teased, raising her eyebrows suggestively.

JJ didn't say a word in reply, just shrugged her shoulders and replied with a sly smile, watching Emily's face shift with realisation.

"JJ!" Emily shrieked, reaching over to pull her into a tight hug. She had known that JJ wanted more kids, but her work with the BAU had made that difficult. Apparently all it took was a change of office to get the ball rolling on that one.

"I'm not pregnant yet," JJ said sternly, "But we are trying."

"That's so exciting," Emily remarked, lowering her voice this time, "I'm really happy for you, but also... I'm super jealous," she continued softly, kicking the ball back to Henry and Jack, "You've got your man and your boy and soon, another little one," Emily paused and shook her head, watching Jack fall over as he kicked the ball, making Henry giggle in the process, "I really need to get a move on that."

JJ furrowed her brow at Emily and tipped her head, "Do you…" she paused, unsure of how to finish that sentence. When the words came to her, she started again, "Are you and Hotch… together?"

A blush grew up Emily's face and she shook her head wildly, "No, it's not like that… we're just friends," she replied, sounding like she was trying to convince herself as much as JJ, "I just mean, in general… I'm not getting any younger," she paused and raised her eyebrows, "I'm not even sure I want... kids," she explained, almost slipping up and adding the word more to her statement.

"Do you have any prospects?" JJ asked, kicking the ball with a little more gusto than she expected, forcing Henry and Jack to run for it, "Are you dating anyone?"

Emily shook her head, "No, I'm not dating anyone at the moment," she replied, watching Jack hold Henry's hand as they made their way back to the little field, "I don't really have time at the moment…" she paused as Jack and Henry reached them, Jack holding the ball, "... I don't know, maybe that time has passed."

JJ opened her mouth to speak, wanting to tell Emily that she would be great as a mom, if that's what she wanted. But JJ was interrupted once more by a little voice.

"Emily," Jack said, looking up at her, "I need to go to the bathroom."

Emily crouched down and nodded, "Ok, well go and give the ball back to Daddy, and we'll go for a walk."

As Emily stood back up, watching Jack hand the ball back to Hotch and explain his predicament, JJ furrowed her brow and picked Henry up. Hotch nodded to Emily, and Jack ran over to her, taking her outstretched hand. Resting Henry on her hip, JJ continued to watch Emily and Jack interact, and when they were far enough away from the men, JJ huffed and leaned in to whisper to her friend.

"I have a feeling, if you want a family, you don't have to look too far."

Emily pushed open the door to her apartment and sighed, turning to lock the door behind her. She stopped by the linen closet in the hallway and tucked the picnic blanket back into its usual spot, before she continued down to the kitchen to unpack the leftovers from their picnic.

Hotch and Jack had walked her home, but Jack was getting ready to crash, so they had continued to their apartment without stopping for longer than a hug goodbye. While Emily could have offered for Jack to nap in the spare room, she was grateful for a quiet afternoon to herself.

JJ had given her a lot to think about.

It wasn't that JJ's comment raised something new for Emily. The thought of having a life with Hotch and Jack and Zac was something that Emily had spent hours… days… months… thinking about. And the more she thought about it, the more she spent time with Hotch and Jack, the more she thought that Hotch felt the same way.

Those little moments that were just theirs. Where he would hold her hand to hurry her through a crowd. The chill that ran up her spine when he put his arm around her. The smile that would grow on her face when she saw him after an absence, no matter how long. And that was just the physical exchanges.

There were other things that meant so much more to both of them, like the trust they had built over the years, that far exceeded any relationship Emily had, romantic or otherwise. Outside of Zac, Hotch was the first person she felt she could trust to break down with. Emily could trust Hotch to keep her confidence, to give her a safe space to fall apart or be vulnerable, and to not judge her when those personality traits she hated in herself reared their ugly heads.

And Emily did all of that for Hotch as well, no questions asked and no obligation.

As Emily picked up the empty tote bags and shoved them in the bottom of the pantry, she turned back to the living room, deciding to do her ruminating on the couch. She dropped onto the soft cushions and lay back to stare at the ceiling, kicking her shoes onto the floor.

Every time she thought about a future with Hotch, her fears outweighed the good, and she convinced herself not to take the chance. But now she wondered, were they just acting like fools and putting on a great show for the team? If JJ had picked up on it, did that mean the rest of the team did too?

Emily blushed at the thought that her personal life could be on display like that, and she felt sick to her stomach.

Her cell buzzed in her pocket and she took it out and checked the ID.

"Hey sweetheart," Emily said brightly, "What's happening?"

"Hey Mom," Zac replied, "I'm great. Just got back from a trip to Atlanta and wanted to check in."

Emily furrowed her brow, "What were you doing in Atlanta?" she asked, realising it had been almost a week since she'd spoken with him.

"I was there for a meeting with the CDC," he replied, "Preparing for the WHO internship… speaking of which…"

"Speaking of which?" Emily probed.

"My Masters course is being accelerated, because of some projects that I was helping out on as a research assistant," Zac explained, "So I'll be graduating sooner than expected."

"How much sooner?" Emily asked brightly, suddenly energised by this great news.

"December," Zac replied, "I don't know the exact dates just yet, but as soon as I have them, I'll send you the information… but Mom…" Zac paused, "… please don't feel bad if you have to work and can't come. I'll understand."

Emily bit her lip and felt the tears start to well in her eyes at the thought of her son thinking that her work was more important than him, "Oh my god, Zac," she said softly, "It makes me so sad that you would think I wouldn't drop everything to be there."

"Mom, I know you would… that's the problem," he explained, "I don't want you to feel like you have to be there. I know how important your work is, and this isn't my first graduation."

"I will be there," Emily said sternly, "No doubt about it."

Zac huffed and nodded, "Ok… fine… moving on…" he paused and sighed, "… so I thought you'd call me back sometime this morning. You must've been really tired."

Emily frowned, "What are you talking about?" she asked, confused by that statement.

"Uh… I tried to call you last night," Zac explained, "I called a few times and couldn't get through, and then I tried Grams and Pop, but they're both out of the country and there were no messages for them at home so…"

Zac went quiet and Emily sat up, "What did you do, Zac?" she asked, suspecting the answer that was coming, but needing him to say it out loud.

"I… I called the number you gave me for Hotch."

Emily ran a hand down her face and took a deep breath, "And what did he say?"

"He said that you were sleeping, that you'd had a tough case," Zac explained, "I told him not to pass on a message and that I'd call you… but I figured you'd see the missed calls."

Emily brought her phone down and checked her call log, and sure enough there were the calls. She'd been so busy that morning that she had just thrown her cell in her pocket on her way out the door to meet Hotch and Jack.

She sighed and shook her head, "It's fine, sweetheart… Hotch didn't mention it today, so I'm sure it'll all blow over."

"I'm sorry Mom," Zac said softly, "I know you said to only use it in an emergency, but you hadn't called when you said you would and I was worried."

Emily bit her lip, "This phone call has been terrible, from you doubting that I'll come to your graduation, to you thinking I'd be mad that you called Hotch… Zac, sweetheart, you are my world. You are the most important person in my life and you never have to apologise for reaching out," she said, trying to purvey the seriousness behind her words, "I am not mad at you for calling Hotch… I promise."

Zac nodded, hearing the emotion in his mom's voice and feeling the tears well in his eyes, "Ok… I believe you…" he paused and cleared his throat, "So you'll be at graduation, and I can call Hotch any time I want… got it."

Emily chuckled and shook her head, "Emergencies only," she replied firmly. She furrowed her brow, "What did you tell him when he answered?" she asked.

"I just said I was a friend and I was worried because you weren't answering your cell," Zac replied, "He was pretty official and just told me you were resting…" he paused and frowned, "Is everything ok? Do you need to talk about what happened?"

Emily smiled softly and shook her head, "No… I'm ok," she replied, "It was just a shitty case, that a drink of decent whiskey and a good night's sleep can't fix..." she paused and let out a sigh, "... I'm sorry you had to lie to Hotch."

Zac nodded knowingly, his mother was never one to share the gory details of her work with him, no matter how old he got. But there was another part to his mom's response that he needed to address, "You've explained your reasons to me, Mom, so when it comes to the team, I'll keep following your lead."

Emily frowned, biting her lip, "Thank you Zac," she replied softly, "And I promise, I'm working on it... it's just going to take some time."

"Is this about you starting therapy?" Zac asked, speaking quickly before Emily could give a defensive response, "Not that I think it's weird or a bad idea. I'm actually really proud of you for taking this step."

Emily huffed and nodded, "Yeah," she replied, "It is a good thing. And yes, I am working with her on finding a way to tell Hotch about everything, including you... but like I said, it's going to take some time."

"I feel like there's more to this, Mom," Zac remarked, "Is there something you're not telling me?"

"Not that I'm ready to share, sweetheart," Emily replied with a smile, "But I will tell you when I'm ready..." she paused to yawn and shook her head, "... I'm sorry Zac, but I'm beat."

"Ok, well on that note, I'll let you get some sleep, and I'll get back to work or I won't be graduating in December," Zac said brightly, "I'll talk to you later… and Mom?"

"Yes, Zac?"

"Say hi to Hotch for me," Zac joked.

"Zachery Prentiss," Emily remarked, taking a deep breath and letting out a sigh, "I love you."

Zac chuckled, "Love you too, Mom. Bye."

Emily shook her head and chuckled, dropping her cell on the coffee table and dropping back to the couch. She closed her eyes, knowing that she needed to get up and take a shower but unable to move just yet. And as she drifted off to sleep, her mind replayed their day at the park.