Chapter 39: Middle Man

Emily closed the folder from her consult and hung up the phone, running back over the information she had just shared with the Anchorage PD. They'd had six rapes over the course of the last 3 months, and the same DNA was found at every crime scene. Emily had given them a profile of the kind of unsub they were looking for, and had told them to call if things escalated or if there was any more information they wanted to run past her.

She let out a deep sigh and ran her hands down her face, looking over at the pile of case files in her inbox.

One down, one million more to go.

She reached over to pick up her coffee mug but found it empty, and she pouted. She looked through the windows on the other side of the room and saw the blue sky and sunshine, and figured she might just go for a walk and shout herself to a decent cup of coffee.

Just as she was standing from her desk, Emily felt her phone buzzing in her pocket, and she pulled it out, checking the ID.

"Hey sweetheart," she said softly, "Can you wait a second?"

"Sure, Mom," Zac replied, digging his pencil into the notepad in front of him.

"Thanks," Emily added, before she hit the mute button on her cell. She started towards the glass doors and stopped by the kitchenette, where Rossi, Reid, and Morgan were making coffee, "I'm heading down to the café to get a real coffee. Can I get everyone a round?"

Rossi walked up to Emily and grabbed the sides of her head, kissing one cheek, then the other, "Bless you, sweet child," he replied, eliciting a giggle from Emily, "I will take a latte."

"Mocha for me, thanks Emily," Morgan called out, putting his empty cup back in the cabinet.

"I'll have a double espresso," Reid added, "Thanks Emily."

Emily nodded and glanced up at Hotch's office door, noticing the door closed and the occupant in a somewhat serious conversation with Garcia, so while she made her way through the glass doors, Emily decided to add their usual orders to her list. Hitting the elevator button, Emily returned to her call, "Sorry about that. I'm just heading out to get some coffee for the team… what's going on?"

"I have news!" Zac exclaimed excitedly, "I have a graduation date."

"Oh my god," Emily replied, "When?"

"Fifteenth of December," Zac said brightly, "Do you think you can make it?"

"Try and stop me," Emily joked, pushing through the external doors of the building, and walking out into the quad. As she made her way to the café on the other side of the grassy knoll, she smiled, "Are you ready to graduate?" she asked, "Or maybe I should ask, are you ready for the real world?"

Zac chuckled and shrugged, "I don't know… I guess I have to be, don't I?" he replied, "What about you? Are you ready to be the mother of a Masters graduate?"

Emily groaned as she made her way up to the counter, "You graduating from Yale made me feel old… this makes me feel positively ancient…" she paused and placed the order for the team's coffees, and once she'd paid, she walked back outside to enjoy the sunshine and fresh air while she waited. Emily figured she had a long day of consults ahead of her and could use as much vitamin D as she could get before she headed back into the fluorescent light of the BAU.

"So do you really think you can get the time off?" Zac asked nervously, "If not, it's fine… I can see you when I get back to DC."

"I said I'll get the time," Emily said sternly, "Please trust me when I say I'll be there."

"I do, Mom," Zac replied, "I trust that you'll try, but your work isn't exactly predictable."

"How about a change of subject?" she asked, "You still planning to drive the truck back on your own?"

"Yep… it's booked and I just need to pick it up the morning of the ceremony. I'm planning to pack after you and Grams and Pop leave. I think I've got my route planned, but maybe I can send it to you... if you've got any suggestions?" he asked.

"Sure... I can probably give you more details about which towns to avoid than which towns might be good for adventure," Emily replied, smiling when she heard Zac chuckle.

"Well I want to at least think about stopping over in Denver and catching up with some of my old classmates from middle school," Zac explained, "Other than that I'm not sure."

"That sounds awesome," Emily replied, "Don't Billy and his wife live in Denver now?"

"Boulder," Zac answered quickly, "But I could probably stop by and maybe stay with them for a bit."

Emily turned to see the barista waving at her and she smiled, "Sorry sweetheart, but I have to go," she said brightly, "I'll call your grandparents later and make arrangements to fly out for your graduation… and Zac…"

"Yes Mother."

Emily snorted, "I'm so proud of you."

"Thanks Mom," Zac said genuinely, "I love you."

As Emily pushed through the door of the café she smiled, "Love you too."

She clicked the phone to end the call and shoved it into her pocket, "Thanks," she said, taking the large tray of drinks from the barista, before she headed back out the doors and across the quad.

Emily bit her lip as she pushed through the first entrance into the academy building, wondering if every parent had an existential crisis when their children graduated. She'd had her first moment when Zac had been graduating from high school. Emily had only been back, Stateside, for a year at that point, and Zac had been living with his grandparents in DC. She took a post in the Baltimore field office so she didn't have to uproot Zac's life right at the end of high school, and stayed there until he graduated. Of course, there were other reasons that Emily had stayed around DC in that time, but Zac was her primary motivation.

As the elevator climbed, so did Emily's anxiety at the thought of her son officially moving out of the college student phase of his life. He was moving onwards and upwards and, with the exception of the elevator she was in right now, Emily's life was staying the same. She had spent most of her life being a parent, and now that role was changing even more than it had before.

Sure, Zac would always need her, but her influence in his life was waning with each graduation. As she pushed through the glass doors of the BAU, she wondered whether it was time to think about what came next for her.

Emily handed the coffees to the others on the team, leaving Morgan in charge of Garcia's half-caf, extra shot, venti, two pump, non-fat, hold the whip, caramel macchiato. With just hers and Hotch's coffees left, she made her way up the stairs and tapped lightly on the doorjamb, waiting for him to look up from his desk.

"Prentiss," Hotch said dryly, only glancing up before he looked back at the file on his desk, "One of those had better be for me," he continued, nodding to the coffees she was holding. He and Garcia had spent the morning negotiating with the Governor of Indiana, who had been trying to convince the BAU to help out on a series of rapes and murders in a jurisdiction where the Sheriff wasn't keen on the idea. It was not a fun debate, and Hotch was in desperate need of a pick-me-up.

Emily nodded and smiled, holding out a cup to Hotch and turning back to close the door behind her. As she took a seat in one of the visitor's chairs, Hotch looked up at her expectantly.

As Hotch took a sip of his coffee, he looked over the desk at Emily and furrowed his brow, "Why do I get the feeling this is a bribe?" he asked, watching her face.

Emily chuckled and shook her head, "Not a bribe," she replied, holding her hands up and leaning forward, her elbows on her knees, "I was just hoping to talk to you about some leave."

"Going somewhere?" Hotch asked, sitting back in his seat and taking another sip of coffee. Emily didn't often take time off, so it must be something important… his mind ran back over his fears from a few weeks earlier and hoped she wasn't about to jet off to London to be wooed by Interpol. That would continue to remain one of Hotch's worst nightmares, and every call or visit from her contacts gave him heart palpitations and sweaty palms.

"Just to LA," Emily explained, "I have a family thing there in December, and..." she paused and bit her lip, "... I really need to go to it."

Emily knew their work was important, but she also figured that, if a case did come up, they could cover until she'd at least seen Zac walk across the stage to get his diploma. If she needed to skip out on the celebratory dinner, she'd be reluctant, but she'd do it. So long as she could be there for the main event.

"What dates are you talking about?" Hotch asked, turning his chair to open the calendar on his computer.

"December 14th to the 16th," Emily explained, "I can be flexible though, so long as I'm able to get away on the fifteenth."

Hotch nodded, turning back to Emily, "Put in the request and I'll approve it," he replied, studying Emily's face, "You sure you don't want to share?"

Emily bit her lip and shook her head, still reeling from her train of thought from earlier, "It's just a family thing," she said softly, standing from the chair and backing up to the door.

"So you said," Hotch replied, holding up the cup, "Thanks for the coffee."

"See you in the briefing," Emily added, turning quickly and walking out before Hotch could ask any more questions. In the silence while Hotch had been checking the calendar, Emily's mind had gone on an unauthorised trip down memory lane, and she needed to get out of there before she inadvertently broke down. The thought of her baby boy, the tiny boy who had loved to collect bugs and spent the summer of his eleventh year obsessed with inspecting the night sky with his telescope, graduating from Cal-Tech... it was all too much.

Reaching the bullpen, Emily sat down at her desk and cleared her throat, opening the next folder of nightmares, hoping that the images of crime scenes and evidence would wipe those thoughts from her mind. She had work to do, and she wasn't about to break down in the middle of it.

She put a pin in those thoughts until she could be at home, behind closed doors, preferably with some of Sean's whiskey in her hand.

"Dinner is served!" Hotch called out as he walked through the door, expecting to find Jack and Emily in the living room. As he looked around the empty room, he furrowed his brow, wondering where on earth they could be. He walked through to the kitchen and put the pizzas on the counter, then went in search of them. Emily had agreed to do Jack's bath while Hotch was out collecting the pizzas, so the bathroom was his first stop.

Hotch pushed the door open and switched on the light, finding the bathroom void of humans. He reached over to touch Jack's bath towel, where it was hanging on the rail, and it was damp.

He turned back and went through the next door, into Jack's bedroom, but still no sign of them. He was about to get his phone out to call Emily, when he heard a giggle coming from down the hall.

Hotch made his way back towards the kitchen, staying silent and waiting for another clue, but he heard nothing. He sighed and turned back towards the pizza on the counter, and smiled.

"Hmmm…" he said casually, "It looks like Emily and Jack have run away… guess that just means more pizza for Daddy."

He kept his back turned on the living room, where he suspected they were hiding, and moved over to the fridge to take out a beer. As he cracked it open he heard a noise, and turned slightly to listen.

"Shhh," Emily whispered, holding her finger up to Jack's lips, "Remember, it's more fun if Daddy finds us."

Jack nodded and mimed zipping his lips.

Hotch wandered into the living room and picked up the remote from the coffee table and switching on the TV, trying to be subtle in his check of the room. He was looking in the direction of the curtains when he saw a pair of tiny bare feet poking out from behind the armchair in the corner.

He put the remote back down on the coffee table, leaving his beer next to it, and went off in search of the others.

"I guess I'll just go and look for them hey?" Hotch said to the apartment, "I am hungry and there is delicious pizza going cold on the counter."

He made his footsteps loud as he turned the corner and went behind the wall, but turned back to watch the living room, waiting for one of them to move.

Just as Hotch was about to give up, Jack's head popped up from behind the armchair, and Hotch jumped out from where he was waiting and pointed at Jack.

"Found you!"

Jack giggled as Hotch ran over and picked him up from the floor, tickling his side and kissing his face. Hotch smiled widely at the sound and he felt like his chest might burst. As he started to lose his breath, Hotch figured Jack had enough and lowered him to the ground, turning to find Emily still on the floor, leaning against the wall behind the armchair and clutching her chest.

Letting go of Jack, Hotch held out his hands to help Emily up off the ground, and once she was standing, she wrapped her arms around his waist and squeezed tight.

As Emily stood back and looked up at him, Hotch wrinkled his brow, "What was that for?" he asked with a shy smile. It wasn't unusual for Emily to reach out for some spontaneous contact, but Hotch couldn't imagine what had caused her to clutch at him like she just did.

Emily shrugged as she moved past Hotch and followed Jack into the kitchen, "I just love seeing you in Dad-mode," she replied as she reached up into the cabinet for the roll of paper towel. After their case in Indiana, and Emily's worries about how her identity was changing the older Zac got, it was fun to see Hotch be silly with Jack. It was a side they didn't get to see at work, and she was so grateful that Hotch had let her into his life, so she could see it every now and then.

"Well, we don't have a lot of time to play hide and seek in the BAU, Emily," Hotch retorted, grabbing another beer for Emily and a juice box for Jack, and following Emily into the living room, "Besides, choosing to hide with Jack proved to be your downfall, so even if we did play hide and seek in the office, you'd want to be better at picking your partner."

Hotch handed Jack his juice, and Emily picked out a small slice to give to him, the little guy settling in on his spot in the middle of them. Jack sat back against Emily's side, and Hotch smiled softly at the sight. It was quickly becoming the way things went, and Hotch couldn't be happier about it. He loved to see the two of them interact, Jack often seeking Emily out to kiss a boo boo, put him to bed, and cuddle him until he felt better. Hotch was grateful that Jack had someone as kind and caring as Emily in his life.

"You're lucky there's pizza at risk of getting cold, Aaron," Emily joked, reaching over to pick up a slice for herself, "Otherwise I might be tempted to go home, after a comment like that!"

As he looked over the top of his son's head at Emily, he counted himself lucky that she was just kidding. He had plans for tonight, after Jack went to bed. He had been waiting to have some time with Emily, alone, to process the case they'd just wrapped up. So many things had been running through his mind, ever since they drove out of Johnson County, and while the team had debriefed on the jet, Hotch had more to process and only one person he trusted to work through it with.

Hotch slowly made his way out of Jack's room, closing the door gently behind him. They'd read a book, they'd spoken to Haley, and they'd said goodnight. As he made his way down the hall, he wondered whether he was doing enough to show Jack how much he was loved. He tried to remind Jack all the time, but he wasn't sure it was really sinking in.

Maybe he should take some time away from work, and just dedicate a few days, or even weeks, to spending time with Jack. A trip to the beach would be nice, or maybe a cabin in the woods. At that thought, Hotch shook his head… they'd been to too many crime scenes in secluded places.

He stopped by the fridge to grab another beer for himself and one for Emily, but found only one left. He made a mental note to pick up some more tomorrow and headed back into the living room, dropping on the couch and holding out the beer to Emily.

"Thanks," she said softly, cracking the bottle open and taking a swig. She noticed that he didn't have a beer for himself, and offered hers to share.

As Hotch took a sip of the beer, he stared at the screen, "What the hell is this?" he asked, "Why is there a cartoon version of Morgan dressed in a towel?"

Emily chuckled and looked to Hotch, "This is Archer," she said, "That character's name is Conway Stern, and thank you for that disturbing reference."

Hotch huffed and handed the beer back to Emily, moving his arm onto the back of the couch and settling into the seat, "You have to admit… the abs, the bald head… aside from the Star of David chain, it's a spitting image."

Emily chuckled again, realising that Hotch might have had a point, and leaned into his side, "Fine… it's a cartoon version of Morgan," she replied, "So does that make you Archer?"

"You mean the other guy in a towel?" he asked, shrugging, "I'm not sure I look quite that good without a shirt on, or that I would have my body pressed against Morgan's like that under any circumstances, but sure." They watched for a moment or two longer, before Hotch frowned, "Wait, this isn't a children's cartoon is it?"

Emily laughed and shook her head against Hotch's shoulder, "No way… it's very much adult fare."

As the crew of the International Secret Intelligence Service ran their missions, Hotch felt himself finally relax. It had been a big few days in Indiana, and everyone was exhausted. Hotch looked down at Emily, her eyes glued to the screen, and thought about the great work she had done, especially in negotiating with Chris. As the young man's face drifted across Hotch's mind, he sighed.

"You ok?" Emily asked, patting Hotch's chest and pushing herself up to look him in the eyes. She realised there was more going on than just fatigue, so she reached over to turn off the TV. As she sat up, she turned to face him and tipped her head, "Talk to me."

Hotch stared down at the half empty beer bottle in his hand, and ran his thumb over the label, "Do you think about having kids?" he asked, moving his eyes up from the bottle, so that he was looking at her face.

Emily frowned and bit her lip, wondering where this was coming from. She wondered if this was the moment to tell him, if maybe he had put the pieces together and was looking to her for confirmation. But as she studied Hotch's face, Emily realised this question wasn't about her at all. There was something else going on. This was about Hotch... and Jack.

She shrugged and reached for the bottle of beer, "I'm not sure," she replied, "I guess I would like to have children, but at this point in my life, I'm happy with what I've got." Proud that she had managed an honest answer without spilling her secret, she took a sip of beer. As she brought the bottle back down, she reached up to squeeze Hotch's arm, "Why do you ask?"

"It was something Sherriff Salters said, when I was saying goodbye," Hotch explained, "That he felt like he lost his son…" Hotch shook his head and looked over at Emily, "It just makes me wonder with Jack, if the damage has already been done."

Emily furrowed her brow and reached up to run her fingers through Hotch's hair, "Aaron," she urged, running her hand down the side of his neck and stopping on his shoulder, "Jack is an amazing kid. You put the work in every day to make sure that he knows how much you love him, and he knows you will always be there for him," she said softly.

She studied his face to make sure he was listening, and even though he was refusing to look her in the eye, the tears that welled suggested she was getting through, so she continued.

"Salters wasn't just a parent working in law enforcement. He abused his son," Emily said, trying to get through to the rational part of Hotch's brain, "He made Chris vulnerable enough that Kosina was able to take advantage, and manipulate him into helping him abduct those women…" she paused and shook her head, "You have to know that Jack is going to be alright, as long as you keep telling him that you love him, and showing him with your actions."

Hotch turned his face away from Emily and reached up to wipe his eyes, embarrassed at the emotion he was displaying. He could sense her eyes on him, but he wasn't ready yet to see the look on her face. He believed what she was saying, but he couldn't help the doubt. He had broken down in front of Emily when he hadn't been in control, when his life was spiralling, when his wife had left him or his son had gone away. This emotion he was feeling right now was more of a general fatigue and upset from the last case. No reason for tears as far as Hotch was concerned.

Looking back up at Emily, Hotch realised once again, that his fears were completely unfounded. Her face was gentle, no judgement, no malice, simply present. Hotch sighed and offered her a sad smile, as he reached up to tuck her hair behind her ear, and for the thousandth time since she'd burst back into his life, he found himself thanking the gods for the woman sitting next to him.

"Can I offer a suggestion?" Emily asked, oblivious to Hotch's thought process. At his nod, she smiled sadly, "Have you thought about taking some of that leave you've been banking up for the last hundred years?" she asked, "Take Jack on a holiday, somewhere relaxing where you can play and talk and spend some quality time together."

Hotch huffed and shook his head, looking over at Emily, "I'm starting to wonder if you can read minds," he joked, "I was just thinking about maybe taking him to the beach."

Emily grinned and reached up to wipe the tears from Hotch's cheeks with the pads of her thumb, making a conscious choice not to mention his emotional reaction, "I think that sounds like a perfect plan," she replied, sitting up suddenly, her jaw dropping, "You can go to my family's place at Martha's Vineyard! There's more than enough space, and it's right on the beach. You can eat seafood and go sailing and hike up to the lighthouse…" she paused and watched Hotch nervously, "… that is, if you want to… no pressure."

Hotch grabbed Emily by the arm and pulled her into a hug, wondering how he got so lucky to have such an incredible friend, "If you think your parents would be ok with it, I'd really like that," he replied, squeezing tight.

"I'll call them tomorrow and send you some dates," Emily said softly against Hotch's chest. She was glad Hotch had learned to open up to her, and not wait so long anymore, and she was glad he had accepted her advice without any residual curiosity. She'd had a feeling this case would hit Hotch hard, and she'd been worried that he would keep it all to himself. She was glad that it no longer took all of her efforts to get him to open up.

Emily released her hold on him and turned back to switch on the TV again, finding the channel they'd agreed on earlier. Now that Hotch had opened up, she could relax, knowing that they had a plan, and as the SS Constitution appeared on the screen, Emily made a mental note to ask her parents when the house would be free. The Hotchner boys were going on holiday!