A/N: Thanks to SouthunLady for the review! There will be 50 chapters in total for this story, and then I'll get started on the original story. :)

Chapter 41: What Happens at Home

Emily climbed out of the passenger seat and opened the door to the back, reaching down to unbuckle Jack from his car seat. He'd been chatting the entire drive, so excited to show Emily the new skills that he and Hotch had been working on. She helped him climb out and held onto his hand, looking back to find Hotch taking the bag out of the trunk. She looked down at her small charge, dressed in his brand new uniform and boots, excited about his very first soccer game.

His red and white shirt was just a little too big for him, and the sight of his little boots earlier that morning had made Emily want to cry… it was all just too adorable for words. Hotch had teased her about her reaction to Jack in his uniform, but Emily knew that he found it just as adorable as she did.

Hotch joined them on the grass at the front of the car and he took Jack's spare hand in his, leading them towards the draw sheet so they could find out where Jack's first match was. Jack had other plans though, spotting a huddle of his team-mates and their coach over on a far field and breaking away from Emily and Hotch to run over and join them.

As Jack started to bolt, Emily shouted to Hotch, "I've got him," as she chased after the little guy. Thankfully, her legs were longer and her run was faster, so she caught up to him in no time. She lifted him from the ground, tickling his side and kissing his cheek as he giggled. She lowered him back to the ground and crouched down in front of him to straighten up his shirt, all the while schooling her features.

"Now buddy," Emily started, hoisting his socks up again, "That was fun, but do you remember what we say about staying with Daddy and me?"

Jack looked down at his hands, twisting them in front of his belly nervously, "That I can't let go unless Daddy or you say it's ok."

Emily nodded and smiled, brushing her fingers through his hair, "That's right," she replied, "And do you know why?"

Jack bit his lip and looked up at Emily, "So that you know where I am."

Emily nodded and smiled, "That's right, buddy," she replied again, holding him by the waist and squeezing gently, "We just want you to be safe… ok?" she asked, tipping her head.

"Ok Emily," Jack said brightly, taking her hand as she stood up. Emily looked up just as Hotch arrived by their sides, and she offered him a smile, gripping Jack's hand tightly in her own, "Are we at least heading in the right direction?" she asked.

Hotch huffed and nodded, hoisting the bag up on his shoulder as he glanced towards Jack's team. He reached down to take Jack's other hand and looked back to Emily, "Does he get it?" he asked, glancing down at Jack, who seemed no worse for wear.

Emily nodded and reached over with her spare hand to squeeze Jack's shoulder, "I think so… but he could probably do with a refresher later on."

Hotch chuckled and nodded, squeezing Jack's hand and tipping his head towards the field, "Ready to go, buddy?" he asked, waiting for Jack to look up at him.

"Yeah!" he said excitedly, tugging on Emily and Hotch's hands to get them moving.

As they neared the field, Hotch let go of Jack's hand and ruffled his hair, "Ok buddy," he said brightly, "You can go join the others."

Jack took off like a shot, running over to the field and smiling when he reached his friends. He looked up intently at the coach, one of the other dads who had volunteered for the role, and watched him explain the rules. They were starting with the warm-up, so while Jack and his team-mates stretched, Hotch and Emily continued to the other side of the field, where the parents were sitting in the sun.

Hotch dropped the bag onto the ground and unpacked the picnic blanket, handing it to Emily to lay on the ground. Then he took out the thermos and handed that to Emily next, and she placed it on the blanket before joining Hotch on the sidelines, just as the first whistle was blown.

As they watched the tiny kids run aimlessly around the field, Emily couldn't help the grin that spread across her face. She leant her chin on Hotch's shoulder and took in the mess of five-year-olds running into each other and avoiding the ball. At one point, it looked like Jack was going to score, and Hotch watched with pride, but at the last second, Jack very kindly stepped aside so one of his team-mates could take the shot.

Emily laughed and Hotch shook his head, smiling as his chin dropped to his chest. She ran her hand over his hair and gripped his arm with her other hand.

"That may have been the cutest thing I've ever seen," Emily huffed. Almost as adorable was Hotch's reaction when he realised his son may be a little too compassionate for competitive sport.

Hotch wrapped his arm around Emily's shoulder and rolled his eyes, figuring they'd have to hit the park tomorrow for some more drills before next Saturday. As the whistle blew, indicating half-time, Hotch walked them over to the picnic rug and Emily dropped to the ground, reaching for the thermos of coffee. She poured one for Hotch and one for herself and was taking her first sip when Jack came running over to them, a wide grin on his face.

"Did you see me, Emily?" he squealed as he dropped into her lap.

"Emily?" Hotch remarked, poking his son's side, "What about Daddy?" he asked, picking up his small son from where he was sitting with Emily and lifting him into the air. Jack giggled and shook in Hotch's arms, and when he was lowered to the ground, he heard the coach calling out to him, running off without another word.

Hotch turned to look at Emily, who was watching Jack, a big smile on her face. He realised it was the happiest he'd seen her in a long time and that realisation made him even happier. The world was brighter when Emily Prentiss was smiling, and if spending time with Jack made her smile like that, he'd keep them together forever. He was beginning to think that the time was coming, but he wasn't quite there yet.

He and Jack were going away next week, to spend a few days at Emily's family's home in Martha's Vineyard. A few days away for him and Jack to remember Haley, and hopefully some time for Hotch to think about what came next. He looked to the woman sitting to his left and smiled, running his hand over Emily's back, thinking that she played a pretty significant role in what came next. He just had to figure out the words.

The whistle blew, signalling the start of the second half, and Hotch stood up again. He held out his hands for Emily, and as she stood in front of him, she squeezed his hands, offering a smile. As she turned back to pick up her coffee, Hotch considered how he might approach a conversation with Emily about plans for the future. As he opened his mouth to speak, he shook his head and looked out at the scurry of kids. He turned to face the field and watched as Jack intercepted the ball and kicked it to one of his team-mates.

Emily cheered from beside him, and Hotch turned to her with a smile, "How about we stop for hot chocolate on the way home?" he asked, reaching over to wrap his arm around her waist.

Emily grinned and nodded, leaning into Hotch's side and watching Jack help his friend up from the ground, "Hot chocolate would be perfect."

Emily was finishing her workout with some time on the speed-ball, her usual routine of jabs, crosses, and hooks. They had another thirty minutes before the briefing and she was in desperate need of this workout. She kept finding herself in situations with Hotch, situations that could easily propel their relationship into the next stage, but she knew she wasn't ready.

Jab, cross, duck.

While she'd initially started working with her therapist on ways to communicate her history to Hotch, in a way that hopefully wouldn't cost her relationship with him, Emily had recently opened up in her sessions about Doyle. These conversations had come about because of Emily's own investigation into Liam's escape from prison, and subsequent disappearance into South America. She'd been experiencing some sleep disturbances and hypervigilance, that her therapist had connected to the stress of having to re-hash the content of the files that Interpol kept on Doyle and his accomplices.

Jab, cross, duck.

Emily had tried to work through that stress, but it had been coming out increasingly in her interactions at work. She'd been snapping more frequently at Morgan, snapping at the most innocuous of triggers. And she'd even snapped at Hotch, after they'd lost the unsub on the Appalachian Trail. Emily had become so angry that the unsub had gotten away, and now there was another activity she could no longer enjoy in an effort to unwind... hiking. Emily knew that the others were starting to catalogue her uncharacteristic behaviour, and she also knew that, if she didn't learn how to handle her stress more effectively, everything would come to the surface in a mess she couldn't control.

Jab, cross, duck.

But of course, she couldn't tell Hotch any of this. Because that would involve sharing the darker side of her past. She was feeling increasingly confident about sharing with Hotch some of her life, like Zac, but she wasn't ready to share the rest of it. Until she could be certain that Hotch would understand why she had made the choices she had made, why she had agreed to do the work that she'd done, she had to keep that to herself.

The timer on Emily's alarm started to ring and she used her teeth to unwrap her right hand from the bindings, reaching down to shut off the alarm. She sighed and made her way into the locker room, taking her key out of the small pocket in her shorts and opening her locker. As she took out her towel and toiletry kit, Emily's phone began to ring and she looked at the caller ID.

Blocked number.

Emily frowned and answered the call, "Prentiss."

"Hi Emily," John said, "It's me... it's John."

Emily bit her lip and took a couple of steps back until the back of her knees hit the bench that ran up the middle of the locker room. She dropped into the bench and sighed, "Hi."

"Are you ok?" he asked, "You sound out of breath."

Emily shook her head, "I'm fine. Just getting in a workout before our briefing..." she paused and wrinkled her brow, "... what can I do for you John?"

"I uh..." he paused and cleared his throat, "I wanted to ask you something."

"Ok," Emily replied, "I'm listening."

"I spoke with Zac a couple of weeks ago, to ask him if he would be ok with me coming to his graduation," John explained.

Emily rolled her eyes and leant forward with her elbows on her knees, "Ok," she replied, unsure of how to respond. It had been Zac's choice to refuse his father's request, and while Emily was glad with the outcome, she hadn't advertised that to Zac.

"Did he talk to you about it?" John asked.

Emily sighed, "Yeah... he called me and asked me what I thought... but I didn't tell him what to do."

"Emily," John urged, "Come on... I can't imagine Zac saying no without you suggesting it to him."

"Oh my god, John," Emily replied, "You can't honestly think that I would stop you from coming to our son's graduation if that was what he wanted... do you?"

"Well what am I meant to think, Emily?" John remarked, "I haven't been able to come to any of his stuff before, because of work and because I didn't want to make things awkward for you. But this time it works out! I'll be in LA anyway, so what's the big deal?"

"The big deal is that Zac has graduated from elementary school, middle school, high school, and Yale, and you haven't come along to any of those," Emily replied, "You didn't choose to be a father to him when he was a kid, when he needed a dad, no matter how many opportunities I gave you. Now he's an adult and can decide for himself what kind of relationship he wants to have with his father," she shook her head, "I haven't pushed him in any direction when it came to you."

"So you're telling me that this decision was Zac's... alone?" John asked.

Emily nodded, "That's right. Your son not wanting you to come to his graduation was his choice..." she paused and bit her lip, "I have to get in a shower before my meeting. Goodbye John."

Emily ended the call, hoping that John would get the hint, but knowing that this wasn't the end of the discussion. She stood from the bench and tossed her cell in the locker, slamming the door shut and punching it with her bare fist. She looked down at the red marks that were growing on her hand, and let out a sigh. Emily turned and collected her towel and toiletries from where she'd left them on the bench and started towards the showers, hoping that the hot water would not only soothe her muscles, but would soothe her freshly-frayed nerves.

As Hotch walked away from Seaver and Rossi, Emily looked up and tracked his movements. He slid into the seat opposite Reid and stared out the window, ignoring his tablet that was waiting for him on the table, instead focusing on the view of the mountains outside their window.

Emily furrowed her brow as she turned her eyes back to the book she was holding, but she couldn't stop herself from looking up once more and studying Hotch's face. The wrinkle in his brow was deeper and she could tell from the way he was rubbing his temple, he had a headache coming on. Emily bit her lip, willing Hotch to look up and meet her gaze, and after a few moments, it worked.

Their eyes met and Hotch offered Emily a small smile. She instinctively smiled back, but her brow furrowed when he leant his head back against the seat. She checked that Reid and Morgan were both sleeping before she made any effort to communicate.

"Are you ok?" she mouthed, watching his face carefully for a response. Even if they couldn't talk, Emily could at least let him know she was aware that something was going on for him. They could figure out the details later, but hopefully even the knowledge, that Emily would be there for him when they got home, would give him some peace of mind.

Hotch nodded, but that was about the extent of his capacity to assuage Emily's concerns, given their surroundings. He reached up to tap his watch and Emily nodded in understanding, as he knew she would.

They could talk later.

Emily smiled and turned back to her book, trying to focus on the words, but failing miserably. There were too many things running through her mind. Her concerns about Hotch were definitely at the top of the list right now, but Emily also had some things to do when they got back to DC, things that she wasn't looking forward to.

The first among them was following up on Clyde's request. Emily had already checked in with her contacts in South America including Nathan, a friend in Caracas who had sighted Doyle's pal a couple of weeks earlier. There was more to this trail, and Emily knew it… she just needed to do the work to figure it all out. So once they landed, Emily was driving back out to Baltimore to a warehouse she'd bought a few years back, under one of her aliases. She kept all of her back-up documents in the warehouse and had constructed a SCIF there for circumstances just like this.

After Clyde's initial request, Emily had been out to the warehouse every chance she got, reaching out to her contacts and waiting for more intel. It had been radio silence until last weekend. After Jack's soccer game and the subsequent hot chocolate, Emily had driven out to Baltimore to check on the progress of her search, and was informed by Nathan that Liam was on the move again.

Tonight, she was hoping to find out where he was likely to head next.

Hotch stood from his seat, glancing at Emily before he continued down the aisle towards the kitchenette. He grabbed two mugs out of the cabinet and two bags of tea, and set about preparing the drinks. While the water was boiling, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a pen and small notepad.

He was hoping to persuade Emily to come back to his place when they landed. Hotch knew she needed to process as much as he did from this case, and beer and pizza would certainly help… he looked over at Emily and huffed… he was pretty certain Jack would be enough of an enticement to get her there.

He heard the click of the kettle and reached over to fill the two mugs, then he quickly jotted down a short message in his notepad and tore out the page. Returning his notepad and pen to his pocket, Hotch picked up the mugs and headed back down the aisle.

Emily was broken from her thoughts when a familiar hand appeared in front of her, holding a mug of hot tea. She looked up and smiled at Hotch, taking the tea from his hands.

"Thanks," she said softly, placing the hot mug on the table and watching him return to his seat. Emily looked back at the mug and wrinkled her brow, finding something curious tucked into the handle. She used her finger to tap the paper out of the nook of the handle and it fell to the table. When she opened the small piece of paper, she couldn't help the smile that grew on her face.

PB&J at our place?

Emily looked up and found Hotch looking in her direction, a smile growing on her face. She nodded softly and turned back to her book, tucking the note in between the pages. As she read the words again and again, Emily made a new plan: Debrief with Hotch first, then drive out to Baltimore.

Emily looked down to her shoulder and smiled at the sight. They had been alone, after putting Jack to bed, for only twenty minutes before Hotch's head had started to drop onto Emily's shoulder, and now here he was, in a blissful slumber.

Hotch had arrived home a little after seven, having given Jessica a heads up that he was on his way home and he would handle dinner. Emily was at the door not long after, with a smile for Hotch, a kiss for Jack, and a pizza for everyone. They ate quickly, and then it was time for the little guy to go to bed, but not before he cuddled up with Emily while Hotch read them a story. Jack barely made it halfway through the story, but Hotch and Emily had stayed in his room until the end, only making an effort to move when the final word was read out loud. Oblivious to the other's thoughts, both Emily and Hotch had enjoyed the sense of domesticity in the moment.

After the little guy was out for the count, Emily and Hotch had returned to the living room, where they talked through their respective responses to the case. They shared a beer, Emily making up the excuse that she needed to drive home and Hotch so tired that even that little bit of alcohol would send him to sleep, and while they handed the bottle back and forth, they debriefed.

Emily had been so frustrated with Seaver, making the decision to visit the Jacobs house on her own, without back-up. As Emily talked it out with Hotch, she came to realise that she saw a lot of herself in the young cadet. Emily had once been a green rookie whose sole purpose in life was to prove herself to her colleagues. It wasn't about impressing the brass, rather about impressing her peers, who had always doubted her abilities and put her success down to her parents. In Seaver's case, she wondered if proving herself independent of her parents, especially her father, was also a motivating factor.

Hotch had assured Emily that he didn't hold her responsible for Seaver's decisions, and credited the young cadet alone for the fall-out from the case. He questioned his decision-making in allowing her to talk them into bringing her into the field, although she had shed light on the situation that wouldn't have been possible from afar. He felt he had done enough chastising on the jet, and figured the splash of Jacobs' blood on her face would be enough to dissuade her from any future foibles.

It wasn't long after Hotch concluded his own debriefing that his head had lolled back against the couch cushion and, once his head rolled over onto Emily's shoulder, he proceeded to snore and drool, the sign of a deep sleep. There was a warm patch growing on Emily's shoulder, but she didn't care. She'd stay there all night if she could.

Emily didn't want to move, but she had to get going. A brief glance at the clock on the wall told her it was already getting late, and she still needed to drive out to Baltimore. Thankfully, she still had a fresh ready bag so, as it was, she was planning to crash on the bed in the warehouse and drive straight to Quantico the next morning. She was grateful to have had the forethought to have a bathroom and kitchen installed in the building when she'd first bought it. It had already come in handy since this investigation started, and she anticipated many more long nights in the warehouse. A few creature comforts like a hot shower and a home-cooked meal would go a long way.

However, as she leant her head on Hotch's and smelled the remnants of his cologne, the plan Emily had concocted in her mind didn't compel her to move. She was enjoying being there, holding Hotch's hand and having him sleep on her shoulder. It was one of those rare moments when Emily felt like he trusted her to protect him… a big feat for a man as independent as Hotch.

Emily sighed and looked down to her side, reaching up to stroke Hotch's face with her fingers, running then over the wrinkles in his brow, down his cheeks and across his dimples, and down to the faint stubble growing on his chin.

She reached up to gently guide him back on the couch, but the movement caused him to stir slightly.

"You should stay," Hotch said softly, his voice husky and his eyes still closed, drifting back to sleep almost immediately.

Emily licked her lips and stared at him, her eyes wide. She shook her head, trying to shake some sense into herself, and pushed herself up on the couch. This time, Hotch didn't move, and she felt it was safe to assume he was unconscious again. Once she'd made room for his feet, Emily lifted them onto the couch and reached down to pull the blanket off the back. She covered Hotch with the soft material, tucking it in at the sides so he was in a cocoon of cotton. Before she stood back up, she leant over and placed a gentle kiss on Hotch's cheek.

"Goodnight Aaron," Emily whispered, staying in place to see if he moved. When he didn't stir, she leant close to his ear, her heart beating loudly as she considered what she was about to do, and she whispered again, "I love you." Before Hotch could wake up, Emily stood and turned to pick up her cell and keys from the coffee table. She ran over to switch on the alarm code, then walked quickly to the door, closing it behind her and locking it with her key.

As soon as she was in the hall, Emily let out a deep sigh, realising how close she had been to making a mistake. A cuddle on the couch was one thing, an invitation to stay was a whole other step that they weren't ready for. And Emily was glad that Hotch was only semi-conscious when he made the invitation, so she could at least blow it off if it came up again.

She had no idea what had compelled her to say those three words. They had just come flying out of her mouth before she could stop herself. She just felt like the time had come to say it, and the safest way to do that was to wait until he couldn't respond. His being asleep had provided exactly the opportunity she needed to figure out if she was ready to say it while he was awake. The fact that she had bolted out of the apartment before anything else could happen was a pretty clear indication that she was most definitely not ready.

Emily pushed herself away from the door and started quickly down the hall, her walk turning into a run when she heard the sound of Hotch's door unlocking and opening. Before he could reach the sidewalk, Emily was turning her car onto the street and driving away.