As we dressed the following morning, my head was full of strategies of how to slip through the halls unseen. But Edmund declared,

'Let's go down to breakfast together.'

I stared at him, my tunic in my hands. 'You mean—together.'

'That's what I said. But to elaborate, yes, I mean to show the world—or in this case, my siblings, that we are in fact lovers and that I intend to keep that arrangement for the foreseeable future.'

I gulped, trying to swallow the dry lump which had formed in my throat.

Edmund folded his arms and raised a brow. 'What say you?'

I couldn't speak. I knew he was getting bolder but I had not quite expected so much so quickly. I sank down on the divan and rubbed my mouth, staring at the rumpled bed.

'So. You have lied to me, Lord Peridan. I did not win the most points last night.' He was still fixing me with that challenging look which was half playful, half severe.

My head swirled. I leaned on the instinct to protect myself. 'I didn't lie. I wouldn't.'

'Are you trying to suggest to me—the King of Justice—that a lie by omission is not a lie?' He perched on the bed facing me and narrowed his eyes. 'That's nearly as bold as Taran lecturing Lucy on Aslan. Almost—but not quite, because that was so bold as to be idiotic. You are only skirting the edge of ridiculous.'

I laughed through my nose, but balled up my tunic in my hands.

'Why didn't you tell me?' Edmund pressed, his voice gentler now.

'I couldn't bear to. You were so happy and so sure, and I wanted what you saw to be true.' Edmund pursed his mouth. 'Honestly,' I protested. 'I do. But that's not the world we live in. You want the world to be better than it is.'

'I did not know I was such an idealist in your eyes. Usually I'm the cynical one,' Edmund replied.

'Taran thinks he knows something about us. I'm not sure. But he means to expose us and make things difficult,' I blurted.

Edmund scoffed. 'After all I've seen and done, do you think I am scared of a little difficulty?'

'Edmund, have a care,' I warned him. 'You don't know—'

He held up a hand. 'I'm not as naive as you think. I see the world as it is. But I believe I can make it better.' He came to sit next to me and took up my hand.

'Perhaps we should examine all ends before standing before all of the court at Narrowhaven—although I would have relished their faces when I kissed you before them all. I've still not quite given up on the idea. Nothing changes. I love you still, will love you in spite of it all. We are going to Avra today to collect Orran and your sister, and then we are returning to Narnia. We are in this together now, until the end.'

I butted my head against his shoulder.

'Ooh, that's a good line. I shall put it in our ballad,' he said as he put an arm around me. 'And Edmund said unto Peridan, "We are in this together; until the end of days I will call your heart mine.'

I laughed in spite of my worry. 'Fancy yourself a poet now, do you?'

'I am a man of many talents,' he replied. I wrapped my arms around his middle and leaned against him, feeling the warmth of his body and inhaling the scent of him.

Peter wondered if he should come along to free Orran, but Edmund pointed out that Orran might be utterly overwhelmed if all the monarchs showed up. Peter conceded this point, but insisted on a guard to make the whole thing more official. 'I have learned certain things about the Islands,' he said wryly.

When we dismounted in front of Orran's house, the guard filed into ranks behind us, clacking spear butts on the paved ground. A herald called all the house to the steps and they came out, staring at the ceremony.

'We wish to see the Lord of the house as well,' Edmund said. As they made breathless protests, he held up his hand. 'We have summoned Orran, Lord of Beruna, to our presence.'

While we waited, Edmund stood perfectly still. Only his hair and cloak fluttered in the wind. I tried to catch Daya or Kyro's eye to reassure them, but they wouldn't look my way.

At last Orran emerged, blinking in the strong light. He looked even more diminished in the sunlight, his cheeks sunken and ashen, his limbs thin with disuse. I set my jaw against such painful injustice.

Edmund held out his hand and a page placed a scroll in it. He unrolled this and read in a clear voice, 'I, Edmund, King of Narnia and Duke of Lantern Waste, Count of the Western March and Knight of the Order of the Table, whom Aslan, Son of Emperor-Over-Sea charged with overseeing justice, do hereby declare that Orran, Lord of Beruna, has been falsely charged and unjustly imprisoned, that upon investigation he has committed no crime. That Peridan, Lord of Lionshaim, has sued for his freedom and that the Crown of Narnia, additionally comprised of Peter, High King of Narnia, Emperor of the Lone islands et cetera, Susan, Queen of Narnia and Lucy, Queen of Narnia, does hereby declare Lord Orran innocent of all crimes and at his own liberty.' He rolled up the scroll and passed it to the page, who took it with a bow.

Everyone stared. Orran stared. 'Peridan, lad,' he began, but his voice gave way and so did his knees.

Everyone on the steps moved out of his way; I hurried to catch Orran as he lurched forward.

'What have you done?' He asked.

'What I had to,' I replied. I kept an arm round him to support his weight as we went forward so he could receive his pardon. 'You're coming back to Narnia with me. You'll sail with us on the Splendour Hyaline.'

Orran could not speak as Edmund laid his hand on Orran's head in a blessing. Then he looked over his shoulder at his assembled family. They were shifting on the steps, looking not relieved and happy that he had been pardoned, but uncomfortable and still ashamed. His face hardened. 'You are more my son than any of them. Let us go, my boy.' I embraced him fiercely.

From Orran I went to Aurie. I had not been back to the estate since returning to the Lone Islands. Riding up the drive the smallness of the house struck me. Our house was meant to be very grand, but my house in Lionshaim, built on the footprint of our forebears, dwarfed it. Yet when I stepped into the cool dark of the entrance hall, I thought how little had changed. The musty smell of the large hall, the echo of my footsteps on the black and white tiles on the floor. I proceeded into mother's parlour. Aurie was sitting straight backed in a chair as though she had been waiting for me.

I dropped into a chair across from her, and after allowing the servants to fuss over me for a moment, I commanded a cup of coffee. After they brought it and I sipped some, for nothing else tasted quite like the coffee of my childhood home, I said to Aurie, 'You'll have to get a move on with packing, sister. We can of course get most things in Narnia, but I imagine there'd be some things you'd like to take with you. Don't forget we sail tomorrow so your trunks need to be in Narrowhaven tonight to be loaded onto the ship.'

Aurie gripped the arms of her chair and lifted her chin. 'I'm not going to Narnia,' she said.

I leaned towards her with a little smile. 'Don't tell me you're scared, Aurie. It will be an adventure! And one with very little risk. Lionshaim prospers, you can have your own set of rooms at our ancestral home, and we will be at court nearly every week. Once you longed to go. What could keep you here?'

She turned away. 'You had some nerve to wear Father's costume last night,' Aurie said.

I set my cup on its saucer with a definitive chink and put it on the table with a clatter. 'Nerve! I am his son. This is my right.'

'And what would he say if he knew what I now know? Everyone says how good he was. He'd be ashamed of you, Peridan.'

I folded my arms. 'What do you think you know, sister?'

She balled her fists. 'I know that you—you prefer men! You could have married Queen Susan, but you won't, because you are—you're dirty.'

'How do you even pretend to know that?' I hissed.

'It matters not how I know. How could you do this to us?' Her voice turned plaintive now, and she seemed on the edge of tears. 'It's the ruin of our family. Now I understand it all. And I thought you were so good, and so brave going to the wilds of Narnia. Now I see you were only running away.'

'I wasn't running away!' I cried. 'I was making a new start, away from all the judgment and censure here. And, I might point out, I made good. Aurie, I have been in battle. I am a knight. I am a trusted member of the court. These things count for far more than who I want to sleep with, and the Kings and Queens see that.' I leaned forward to take her hands. 'Come to Narnia with me and you will see too. These Islands are poisoning you just as they were poisoning me.'

'It's so easy for you to say!' She cried. 'You left me here all on my own and forgot about me. Where have you been when I was facing all the censure for our house? Between you and Orran I have been up to my neck in scandal and cannot make my way. Everyone hates me and I didn't do anything! You did it all, but somehow you escaped and I had to face it.'

'That isn't true,' I said through clenched teeth. 'I have endured more than you know.'

She burst into tears. Angry as I was, I moved to comfort her, crossing the room to her. She held me off.

'Aurie don't do this!' I cried. 'Don't believe them—they aren't right about me, or us, or any of it.'

She glared up at me. 'How can you even say that? Of course they're not wrong—you're just looking for excuses.'

I slammed my hand down on the side table, making the ornaments on it rattle. 'No. Enough. I have spent years loathing myself and I won't any longer. What is so wrong about me? Look me in the face and tell me!'

She smoothed her skirts and squared her thin shoulders. 'But by the Lion's grace, we forgive. So—if you can repent of your sins, remove yourself from your influence over the kings and queens, then I will call you my own dear brother and hold you close to my heart again.'

'And if I don't?' I spat.

'Then I cannot call you my brother any longer,' she said. She frowned to keep her chin from quivering.

'We are all the other has in the world,' I said. 'You know as well as I Uncle does not love us. You're my only family,' I said.

'I know. And you're mine. That's why you have to repent.' She seized my hands.

I looked down at our joined hands, still bewildered how it should come to this, where so much was at stake. Aurie's hands were very small and dainty compared to mine, and I had rather delicate hands myself. The shape of our nails was the same, the shade of our skin. We were part of each other.

'Just stay here awhile longer,' Aurie said, seizing what she imagined was her opportunity. 'Marry an Island girl. Make us respectable. Then I will go back to Narnia with you and your wife.'

I let myself imagine this for just a moment: living like Simar, becoming a coward shrouded in misery. Never being near Edmund again. 'I can't,' I said. 'Even if I wanted to—and I do not want to. I cannot change who I am.'

She let go of my hand and stood up. 'Oh, Peridan. I did not think you would do this.'

'I did not imagine you would disown me,' I returned.

'I must. You leave me no choice,' she said.

'The choice, sister, is yours,' I replied coldly. I rose and stalked to the door. I wrenched it open, but I paused to turn back to her. 'Should you make a different one you can let me know.' Then I slammed the door shut behind me.

I made my way back to Avra alone. When the ferry docked on doors, I walked back up to the palace with my arms wrapped around myself, head bent as I watched one foot plod in front of the other. I tried to comprehend what had just happened, and why, and how, but I came up with no answers, just a dull ache behind waves of astonishment.

I went through the gates and started to pace through the gardens under the pendant fruit trees. The palace gardens were not so different from those at our lodgings in Calormen. I wondered why the similarity had never struck me before. I reached up to pluck a fig and sank onto a garden bench, turning it over in my hands. I remembered picking figs for Aurie when she was a toddler. I would scramble up the trees for her and she would keep demanding them until our nurse or Father came out to put a stop to it, saying that she would eat herself sick. I exhaled a shaky sigh.

A messenger found me to say that the King attended me. I followed him to find Edmund sitting with Orran, who had washed and trimmed his beard, and put on clean court clothes. He looked a lot more like the Orran I remembered. He rose to greet me.

'Peridan, my boy. I don't know if you are brave or mad.'

I exhaled through my nose. 'Perhaps a bit of both. But you're free now, and that is right.'

'We've been discussing what Lord Orran will do in Narnia,' Edmund said.

'The King has said I should take up my lands in Beruna.' Orran looked dazed at the prospect.

I smiled a bit. 'You will find it very foreign indeed. There are very few humans in Beruna. I had the good fortune of a human city under my watch.'

Edmund pulled a face. 'I would call that misfortune rather than luck. In my experience, the Beasts of Narnia are far easier to manage than the humans. They want only food and safety and freedom. Given that, they will manage themselves. It's the people who obscure things with misguided concepts of righteousness and such. You will see, Lord Orran, that Narnia is a very different place from these Islands.'

Orran looked to me. 'Maybe that was always where you were meant to be,' he said. 'You are more Narnian than any Islander.'

'And in Narnia, I am more Islander than any Narnian.' I folded my arms across myself and sighed. 'I don't really fit in anywhere.'

'Neither do I,' said Edmund. 'But we fit with each other.'

'And I might venture to say fitting in is overrated,' added Orran. 'For you, anyway. You were always destined to be different, but look at all you have accomplished because of that.'

I tried to smile but couldn't quite manage it. Edmund was on the point of adding to this when he was called away to his royal duties. I watched him go.

'Aurie won't come to Narnia. She found out my preference for men, and she has said she cannot count me as her brother anymore,' I said in a rush as soon as Edmund was out of earshot. 'I don't know what to do. If his brother and sisters do the same it would kill him. I don't want him to know what it's like, what any of it's like.' I pressed the heel of my hand to my forehead.

'I know, lad. I know,' said Orran. 'I wanted to spare Caernan too.'

'I can't leave him,' I said.

'No. That's not the way. Believe me, I've tried it. You'll be too miserable.'

'I'm so bloody tired,' I said, leaning on the window sill and looking out over the gardens. 'I hate being around people, worrying about they think. Even if they are all wrong.'

'I know,' Orran said. 'Far better to stay quiet, and be happy.'

I spent the last night not in the palace, but in the streets of Narrowhaven, where the people were having a festival. After he got away from the banquet at the palace, Edmund and I wandered the streets together, threading through the crowds. At times he carried his crown rather than wearing it, and when he did this few people recognised him. They knew me a bit more, but still not much. So we went round together, cloaked in anonymity. The velvet sky above us was dotted with stars, and just above our heads coloured lanterns swung, strung between the buildings and casting a glow on the pavement and the buildings. The sultry air barely moved, and the people pressed close round, jostling Edmund and I together.

'You look happy,' Edmund observed.

'I am happy,' I said. 'I feel…free. No one cares who I am or what I do.'

'You could almost kiss your lover in the shadow of that archway, with the band playing in the background,' he suggested, nodding to a shadowed alcove half covered with pendant flowers.

'I didn't know you were one for creating romantic tableaux,' I said, plunging further into the crowd and away from the tempting seclusion. I did want to kiss him.

'You're rubbing off on me,' he said, and slid round people to catch up with me. The crowd pressed us close together, and I enjoyed his nearness, even let my fingers brush his wrist. He caught my hand for a moment. 'You still want to be secret.'

'Stay quiet and be happy,' I quoted. I stopped and turned to him.

'Do you really believe that?' He squinted at me as the crowd flowed round us like a river over stones.

I sighed. 'I don't know what there is to gain by speaking out, and there is much at risk.'

'You're not going to start with my reputation again, are you?' He sighed.

'I am. And mine. The fact is, Edmund, we are public people. The moment we announce our love, we hold that up to inspection forever. Look.' I reached for his crown and placed it on his head. The instant I did so, everyone around us stopped, bowed, sued for favours and acknowledgement, cried out 'Long live King Edmund!' I arched a brow at him and slipped away to sit on the edge of a fountain while the people pressed round. He looked over their heads at me and I shrugged. He pursed his mouth.

They bore him as if on a tide. I joined the current and we wound up in the harbour square. Musicians were playing merry tunes. When they saw Edmund and me, they struck up the tune for the warrior's dance, and Edmund extended his hand to me with a little spark in his eye. 'But then, there is this,' he said.

'I would keep it as ours alone,' I replied.

We whirled round together. The people applauded us, and started a bit of a contest to try and best our backflips. When the next set of dances began, Lucy claimed Edmund as her partner. Across the square, Susan stood alone. Our eyes met; she seemed to invite me to ask her to dance. I went over and offered my hand. She slipped her hand into mine.

We fell into step easily; we always had. She tipped her face up to look at me. 'I remember that first ball, when you asked me to dance.'

The memory came back to me. I had been running away from Simar. That was the crux of our relationship—I had used her to run away from who I was.

I knit my brows together. 'You must know that I will always be sorry for how I treated you. I never meant to toy with you, but I did.'

She sighed, and stroked my shoulder. 'Don't always be sorry. That isn't how forgiveness works.'

'You…forgive me?' I said, staring at her in amazement. I remembered Aurie's harshness and my throat tightened.

'It is better this way,' she said. 'We could be such good friends. Don't you think?'

'I think I don't deserve this,' I stammered.

She gave me a keen look. 'Forgiveness isn't something we deserve. Otherwise we wouldn't need it. But for what it's worth, I understand more now, and understanding lessens your wrongs. I know you weren't being cruel.'

'I never wanted to be,' I said, although my chest was starting to tighten. She was very close to knowing.

'And besides,' she continued, 'You make Edmund so happy. And that's something I've wanted to see for years.'

I stumbled, falling out of step and bumping into another dancing couple. Susan pulled me back. 'You're so pale. Let's go sit.' She steered me out of the square. Edmund saw, and looked as though he would join us, but Susan put her hand up and he kept dancing with Lucy.

She guided me down an alleyway and sat me down on a wall, where she rubbed my back.

I buried my face in my hands. Thrills of fear ran through me so fast that I felt dizzy and sick. 'Don't do anything to him. He needs you so much. I'll leave him, if I must.'

'For Aslan's sake, don't leave him!' Susan said. 'Didn't you just hear me say I see how happy you make him?'

'And you're alright with that? You still love him?'

She almost recoiled from this. 'Of course! He is my brother, and he always will be.'

I squeezed my eyes shut, but even so tears slipped down my cheeks. 'My sister does not feel the same. She's disowned me.'

'Oh, Peridan,' Susan said. She continued to rub my back. I wondered if she could feel the scars through my clothes. 'I was right after all. You do need me. You need a family, and you need someone to show you that Narnia really is different.'

'But how can you do it? How can you forgive me so easily?'

She gave a sad smile. 'It isn't easy. But things that are worthwhile often aren't. The point is I want to forgive you, and start a new chapter.'

'Does Edmund know you know?' I asked, trying to collect myself.

She shook her head. 'I thought it should be something he tells me himself.'

'He's lucky to have you.' I paused and took her hand between both of mine. 'I am lucky to have you.'

She hugged me with an almost maternal tenderness, and for the first time, I felt the comfort of acceptance. Relief flooded through me. I clung to her for a moment.

We broke apart and without another word but with a mutual agreement went back to the dancing. They were playing a faster Island tune now, and I whirled her round the dance floor. She laughed and looked almost happy.

Peter joined then, and took Susan as his partner. I stood on the fringes, watching them among the people. They garnered so much admiration. Edmund laughed with his siblings, looking merrier than usual. All I wanted was for us to be happy. We were happy together. Edmund's words mingled with Orran's: we had to find a way to get what we wanted—or in this case, keep what we had. Perhaps the best answer then lay in discretion.

The next morning we processed down to the ship in full pomp and panoply. As the royal cortege passed, the people hung out of their windows and lined the streets to get a final glimpse of the Emperor and his consorts. I took in the sun soaked streets for a final time, the warmth and the beauty of them.

Before we boarded the ship, Peter made a final speech to the Islanders reminding them once more of the ties which bound them to Narnia. He used me as an example, celebrating my victory in the tournament and my fame in Narnia. When he quoted the Song of King Gale, I knew for certain Edmund had written it.

While Peter spoke, I searched for the familiar faces in the crowd. Gormal and Rehan were whispering to each other, while a few girls around them tittered sycophantically. I spied Simar, standing with his wife and trying to look pious, but only succeeding in looking uncomfortable. Taran stood front and centre. He stood with his shoulders back and lifted his chin, affecting a paragon of virtue. I didn't know if he or Uncle told Aurie. I wouldn't have been surprised either way.

Aurie and Uncle Emdir were standing together. Uncle was all sharp angles, watching with wary eyes. Aurie's mouth was pinched and her eyes were downcast. I couldn't watch her for long without tears rising again.

I tried to think of a fitting goodbye to the Islands. I imagined myself standing before all of them, telling them off. 'I have done more with my life than you will ever do. Your hate means nothing to me. Your threats mean less, for they will die on the wind before they reach Narnia. There I have the respect of all.'

But that didn't seem to quite fit. The day was full of a poignant beauty, half bright sunshine, half cool shadow. The same weather which had heralded the monarchs' first arrival in the Lone Islands. Beyond Peter on the podium and the Splendour Hyaline, I could see the low slopes of Felimath, purple and green in the light.

I wanted to dust my feet of the Lone Islands forever, but I couldn't deny them any more than they could deny me. I would always be the half Calormene son of a dreamer lord. I would default to my Island manners, my Island learning in commerce, in history, in song. When I studied the light in Narnia, golden and magical, I would always compare it to the almost fierce brightness of the Lone Islands. I could even say my Islandness was something Edmund loved about me, just as he loved Felimath. In an odd way, I had the Islands to thank for my present happiness. Taran, Felimath, the tournament, the chapel had all played a role in bringing me and Edmund together.

Peter's speech ended, and I followed them up the gangway as the musicians played a fanfare. The music and applause faded a bit as I arrived on the deck of the ship. We stood at the railings for awhile as the ship rowed slowly out of the harbour. The four waved with smiles pasted on their faces. I watched the details of Narrowhaven blur in the distance.

When at last they turned away from the cheering crowds, Peter let his shoulders slump and he took off his crown. His hair was dented with a sweaty ring from where it had sat. 'I'm going below,' he announced. 'I think I just want to lay down in the cool and quiet.'

Susan and Lucy voiced their agreement and followed him. Edmund and I lingered alone on deck for a moment before he jerked his head in the general direction of his chambers. 'We usually take dinner alone on the first night after a state visit,' he informed me. 'By then we've had enough of people, including each other.'

'Have you had enough of me?' I teased.

He threw me a look from underneath his lashes. 'I haven't even begun to have my fill,' he said lowly. I shivered with desire. Then he grinned and grabbed my hand, dragging me to his stateroom. On the way, he shook his head. 'I swear, Peridan, I never thought I'd be able to deliver a line like that.'

'And so successfully,' I murmured in his ear, nipping at his earlobe.

He sucked in a breath and pushed me into his room, onto his bed. I wanted to watch him in wonder and reflect on how far I had come, but he dragged me into a kiss as he pulled my clothes off and I was too much in the present moment.

We dozed afterwards, and when I woke the sun was starting to sink into the sea. I untangled myself from Edmund's embrace and went onto the balcony to watch. The sea breeze cooled my hot skin, and I thought once again of Felimath.

Behind me, I heard Edmund rise, but he didn't come out straight away. I listened to him moving about and thought about how to mix all the shades of purple I saw, how to mimic the reflection of orange light on the water. Underneath these thoughts hummed a pleasant domesticity, as though the two of us orbiting each other was simply part of our routine, and would be stretching into the future. Eventually, he came out and leant on the railing beside me. He handed me a paper. The sketch of Peridan and King Gale. I lifted my brows at him.

'You can't keep it,' he said. 'It's mine now. But I thought you might like to see what's on the back.'

I turned it over. In his slanted writing he had scrawled:

Peridan and Edmund sailed from the Lone Islands

Having bound themselves together in a love far deeper and truer than friendship.

They sought the sunset and the newer world which lay under the brightness of the western stars

For all their adventures were only at the beginning, and their love still new.

I smiled slowly, tracing the words with my finger. 'Well,' I said, 'You are a poet after all.'

'What can I say?' Said Edmund, slipping an arm around me. 'You bring it out in me.'

And we stood and watched the sunset and the first winking stars in the blue, our faces turned together towards Narnia.

A/N: So this is it! Whoever made it this far, I've said it before and I'll say it again-thank you. This story has been a real labour of love and I'm glad you've come on this journey with me.

This chapter has been a long time coming, because final chapters are HARD, y'all. First there is the unwillingness to finish the story I've been living with for so long. I started this two years ago and have been steadily chipping away at it ever since, writing a broad strokes draft which was actually more from Edmund's point of view, then going to Peridan's point of view because I realised his motivations weren't clear enough in that original 30,000 word draft. As you can see, Peridan apparently takes a lot of explaining. That is the other reason final chapters are hard-I wanted to wrap everything up, but not *too* neatly. I had to save something for the sequel.

Because of course there's going to be a sequel. I simply can't get sick of writing about this pair, and thus have 3 separate stories involving them in various stages of development. So if you are in the same boat (and how lovely if you are), keep an eye out from this story from Edmund's point of view.