Chapter 27: Come So Far

Maylene Donner

"So, Maylene, how do you feel about Maysilee getting this far in the Games?"

I look at the Capitol man interviewing me and almost want to punch him.

How would you feel if your other half was ripped away from you and thrown into an Arena to fight for survival?

But I know that the only thing that would make me feel better would be Maysilee back home so I force myself to give a smile. "I'm so excited. She's so close to coming back home!"

The interviewer, who's name I was too nervous to pay attention to, gives an approving nod. This must be an answer he's heard many times before.

"And do you think she has good chances? You're not worried about all the other stronger tributes in the Arena?"

I frown at the camera, feeling odd that Capitol citizens are watching me live. "She's made it this far, hasn't she? She's much stronger than you think."

"And how do you feel about her new alliance with District 12's other remaining tribute, Haymitch Abernathy?"

I have to frown again. I have split thoughts on that alliance. On one hand, Haymitch seems snarky and arrogant and like he wouldn't mind killing my sister to get home. But on the other hand, he's been fair and honest so far and he hasn't tried to attack her yet. He kept watch all of last night and didn't even touch her.

Realizing I actually have to give an answer, I say, "I think this alliance is good for both of them. I think Maysilee would benefit from allying with him."

"And you're not worried he'll kill her?"

I wince. I have been worried about that. Iris, who's just finished her interview, sees my discomfort and gives me a smile. She believes that neither Haymitch or Maysilee will kill each other and she usually has a good judgement of character. Still, I can't help but be paranoid. My sister's life is in Haymitch's hands.

"I don't think anyone would ever kill the person who saved their life." I hope Haymitch hears my words. I need my sister to come home. I need her.

Someone across the room, Serena, seems to hear my words and catches my eye. Since the Justice Building is the only building in 12 suitable to be shown to the Capitol, they've managed to cram both families of the tributes into the main room. Even though there are two families, it doesn't seem like Haymitch knows many people. I only see his brother, Hayden, and Serena. There's a women standing next to Hayden that I assume is their mother. I've never seen her around before. Everyone else here is our family and friends from school.

"Are you confident Maysilee will come home?"

I had intended to be as strong as I could during this interview. But stress and worry and missing my twin has left me soft around the edges. My voice cracks when I say, "She has to. I need her." I blink away tears. Someone reaches out to hold my hand and when i turn, I see Connor standing behind me. With all my stress bout my sister, I've hardly had any time to spend with my boyfriend. I'm so glad he understands. He gives me an encouraging smile and I turn to face the cameras again.

The interviewer looks like he feels sorry for me. It's hard to tell with all the bright lights. "Well, I hope you'll see her soon."

"Thank you."

"I've heard she's popular in the Capitol. How do you feel about that?"

I don't understand. Popular how? How does the Capitol even view the tributes? All I can think of is them betting on little kids the same way you'd bet on shows or toys. We aren't people to them, just objects. And why does it matter if she's popular? If she wins, she'll be in 12, not the Capitol.

"That makes me feel optimistic." I think of something to add. "The Capitol will be able to help her if she needs it. They're very generous."

"Yes indeed." The interviewer's voice changes to address the Capitol citizens watching at home right now. "If anyone watching would like to sponsor the lovely Miss Maysilee Donner, simply place a call to the Capitol Tribute Sponsor Center." He turns back to me. "And Maylene, thank you for speaking with us."

"It was my pleasure."

"One last question for you. What would you tell your twin if you could talk to her right now?"

What would I tell her? I miss you. I miss you so much. Please come home. What do I need her to know more than anything?

I pause before staring straight into the camera lens, wishing with all my might that Maysilee could hear me.

"I'm proud of you, Maysilee. No matter what happens. I love you."

Hayden Abernathy

Mom fidgets as we wait for the cameras to finish interviewing Maysilee's family and friends. They won't let us leave until everyone has been interviewed. Compared to the three people interviewed for my brother, there are a lot more people here for Maysilee. Merchants usually have bigger families. More people who haven't died or been Reaped.

I don't think my mom likes crowds very much. In the Seam, people would always give me and Haymitch sympathetic glances when we walked by. Because they knew what it was like to loose family to the mines as well. But here, with all these Merchants, most of them are looking at us with pity. And maybe even apprehension.

Most of Maysilee's relatives were nice enough when they approached us but I know that the divide between Merchants and Seam folk is particularly strong.

Maylene Donner, who is really nice to me considering her sister and my brother are in an Arena of death, is just finishing up her interview. There are two people beside her. Iris Flores, the apothecary's daughter who Mom used to get her medicine from after Dad died, and Connor Undersee, who I've heard people say should be Mayor after Mayor Silvanus retires. Just a few feet away, Maysilee's parents are being interviewed by another Capitol interviewer. Her mom is crying and I watch as her dad holds her close.

All these people will be devastated if Maysilee dies. I remember visiting William's sisters after he died. They looked heartbroken. I remember how broken Lielle looked. She went from being the second youngest to the oldest in just a few years. I felt so bad for her. But William dying meant Haymitch was one step closer to coming home. That's what made me feel so guiltily. And I know Maysilee will have to die as well. Haymitch has to come home. I sneak a glance at Mom. Now that we've already been interviewed, she seems fine. But I know I'll never forget those years of vacant stares after Dad died.

Haymitch has to come home. Mom needs him. I need him.

Serena nudges me, breaking me out of my thoughts. She looks worried. "Hayden. Are you okay?"

Of course, I'm not. And I know you aren't either. "Yeah. Why?"

Wordlessly, she points at my hands. My fingernails are caked with blood. Biting my nails is my nervous habit.

"Oh." I'm worried about Haymitch. It's all I can think about.

I don't say the words but Serena seems to understand. After all, the three of us are the only people here who were interviewed about Haymitch. He never had any friends and we are probably the only ones who know the real him. And who are desperate for him to come home. I know how close Haymitch and Serena were. He only ever seems truly like himself when he's with her.

Serena gives me a sad look. "I know. I'm worried about Haymitch too. But he's so close. He'll come home, you see. I believe in him."

I think of Serena's interview, where she talked about what Haymitch was like without the cameras. If he could see our interviews, Haymitch probably would have opposed to that but Serena thought people would like him more if they say him as a real person. Not the way the Capitol portrayed him. Uncaring, arrogant, and sarcastic.

Because I know my brother seems like that on the outside, but on the inside he's totally different.

I think of my brother who took over after Dad died. The one who walked me to school and helped me with my homework. The one who stayed with Serena during her parents' funerals. The brother who made sure Mom and I ate before he would take even a bite, even if that meant he sometimes went to bed with a growling stomach. I remember the time I caught him crying on the first anniversary of Dad's death. He tried to pretend like he was fine but I knew he was only keeping it together for me and Mom. And I love him for it. I catch a glance at the television screen someone put in this room and see Haymitch and Maysilee walking in the forest. I see Serena's family ring on his finger. He hasn't taken it off since he got in the Arena.

A look over at Serena tells me that she sees it too. She absentmindedly touches the identical one on her own finger.

"I know," I say, and for some reason I feel a lot more confident than I did before. "He'll be back soon."

Maysilee Donner

As we continue walking in the woods, I'm surprised by Haymitch's resilience. I'm sure he didn't sleep at all last night and somehow, he's still awake. And being in charge.

That doesn't mean he's fully fine, though. He's shaky and quiet, giving the shortest answer to every question I direct his way. Or maybe he's just returning to his pre-Games state. Although I've bugged him for the better part of a day, I still don't have all the details to his plan of going to the end of the arena. If he has an actual plan, he certainly isn't going to tell me about it. I know he's smart, but I still can't help but wish I wouldn't be walking into this so blind.

I groan as another tree almost makes me trip. Even though the mountain erupted on me, I'm not sure I like these woods either. Although they offer good concealment, they are way too congested. As I catch my footing, Haymitch pauses and waits for me to catch up before starting to walk again.

"Can we take a break?" I ask. I've only just realized how dry my throat feels.

"Already?" Haymitch frowns, looking up at the sky as though it'll tell him the time.

"What do you mean, already? We've been walking for at least three hours." Honestly, doesn't he ever get tired? The moment I had woken up, Haymitch had insisted that we start moving. I had barely been able to convince him to have something to eat first. Something in my mind tells me that Haymitch isn't used to giving himself breaks. Given his childhood, it must not have been a luxury he was lucky enough to have.

"It's still morning right?"

I squint up at the sky. It looks to be almost midday. "Yeah."

"We can stop later then."

I stare at him. "Aren't you tired?" It's a question that doesn't really need to be asked. One look at his dark under eyes and sluggish movements tell me that he's exhausted.

He looks down and starts when he sees how intensely I'm looking at him. "Not really." I raise my eyebrows. "Well, a little. But it's fine. We don't have time to stop."

"Why are you in such a rush anyway? We haven't seen anyone since the Careers." He winces imperceptibly. "I doubt anyone is following us."

"But—"

"You can continue with your grand plan after we take a break. You won't be of any help if you're collapsing again. We should rest our legs at the very least."

He gives me a glare but I can see that he doesn't truly mean it. "Fine. We'll take a break. A short one."

We find two large rocks to sit on and I watch as Haymitch rubs his eyes tiredly. I almost want to laugh at the thought that I am the caretaker of this alliance. I'm the one making sure that we are both okay. Haymitch is the one trying to get us to victory. No, my mind reminds me, he's trying to get himself to victory. Not both of you.

I shake my head to get rid of the thought. I told myself I wouldn't think about the hundreds of ways this alliance could end. The endings of my previous alliances were bad enough. There's a sharp pang in my chest and I grip William's bracelet instinctively.

The memory of William coughing into the ground fights its way into my conscious. I clench my hands together, feeling my nails dig into my palms. You're not supposed to think about that, I remind myself. Don't think about it. I take a deep breath, forcing the thoughts and feelings down. William wanted you to win. Make sure he didn't die in vain.

When I look up again, I find Haymitch watching me. "You okay?"

If someone told me at the beginning of the Games that I would be allied with Haymitch, I would have laughed. If someone told me that we would actually get along, for the most part, and even care somewhat about each other, I would have called them crazy.

"I'm fine." I lie. I think I've seen too much to ever really be fine again.

Haymitch follows my line of sight and points to the rope on my wrist. "What's that?"

I freeze. We haven't talked much about our days in the Arena before we allied. The only thing I know is that Haymitch stayed in the woods during the entirety of the Games. I don't know what he's seen or what he's been through. And he doesn't know what I've seen. A part of me knows that he deserves to know how his district partners died. But I can't talk about it. Even thinking about William and Leila makes me feel like breaking down and sobbing until I can't breathe.

"My ally's old token."

Haymitch frowns. "I feel like I've seen it before."

I bite my lip. "You have."

Realization sets in on his face. "Was that William's?"

I actually feel the air whoosh out of my lungs. "Yes."

"So—"

"Can we not talk about it?" My voice is harsh and breaks near the end. I steadily avoid Haymitch's eyes.

It's silent for a long time before Haymitch says, "So you were with them? Both of them?"

"Yes."

It's silent again. I sneak a glance at his face and find it as unreadable as always. I have no way of knowing how he's feeling right now.

"And you had other allies too?"

"Yes."

He knows that they are all dead. I wouldn't be his ally otherwise. "Okay," he finally says. "You don't have to tell me about them right now. I'll wait until you're ready."

I'm grateful. I want to wait until I can talk about my dead friends without breaking down. If that will ever even be possible. "Thanks."

"It must have been hard though. Losing so many allies."

It was the hardest thing I've ever been through. "It was." It feels safe enough to look at him again now that we aren't talking about William and the others. Haymitch is going through our packs again. "What about you? Did you have any allies?"

He freezes in the process of drawing out two bags of sliced apples. "No."

He's not giving me the truth. "Are you sure?"

"I didn't have any allies. Not really." I can see his hands shaking from where I'm sitting. His voice gets quiet. "I don't want to talk about it either. Not yet. It's not important anyway."

What can I say to that? "Okay."

Haymitch gives me a look. It's one of understanding and it strikes me suddenly that the only people who know exactly how I feel right now are the ones I'll eventually have to kill.

He hands me a bag of the apples he had earlier, extending our break. I accept it with a smile. I'd say we both need a break.

We eat our snack in silence and after a while, if I try hard enough, I can almost convince myself that we aren't in the Arena. Maybe we could be two friends sitting in some trees and sharing some fruit together. Not two kids in an Arena of 48 kids where only one can survive.

But I know that Haymitch and I would never have even talked to each other if it weren't for the Games. The same way I would have never met Mazie or Miller. Would have never spoken to Leila beyond casual pleasantries. The same way I would have never been so close with William. I would have never kissed him or known the way his arms felt wrapped around me. Without the Games, we would both probably still be too shy to tell the other how we felt.

It's unfair how short life really is. That's something I wish I knew before the Reaping.

I grab one of the water bottles and make to take a sip, briefly forgetting that we don't have a single drop to drink. I grab another and shake them vigorously, causing Haymitch to look at me with a frown.

I shake our empty water bottles again and resist the urge to chuck them to the ground. "I would kill for water right now."

Haymitch smirks, seemingly recovered from our talk earlier. "I don't think killing anyone would give you water." He looks thoughtful. "Unless the person you killed had a pack with water in it."

I groan. "You know that's not what I meant."

Haymitch pauses for a few seconds and it seems to me that he's doing some quick thinking. It's one of his calculating faces. He gives me a meaningful look. "When was the last time you had water?"

"I don't even remember." I really don't remember when was the last time I had water. That knowledge makes my mouth feel a lot more dry.

He nods. "I'm sure that's case with all the tributes still alive right now." He pauses and I notice the surprisingly upset look on his face. "We're going to die of dehydration unless we get water soon."

I can tell Haymitch is acting a lot more upset than he really is. He hardly ever shows emotion unless he is caught off guard. Besides, he must know that the Capitol would never let all the remaining tributes die from a natural cause like that. Especially not in a Quarter Quell. They need something more exciting.

Oh. I quickly glance at Haymitch, who raises his eyebrows at me and returns to his apple slices. He really is smarter than I thought. By talking about how we haven't had water for days, the Gamemakers will know that we won't be able to give the Capitol entertaining battles. We're too dehydrated. And the Gamemakers don't want the Capitol getting bored.

Which means they'll have to give us water.

Haymitch decides that we should start walking again and even I have to agree. Our break was nice but I know he is eager to put his plan to action. A plan that I'm still not fully sure of. All he's told me so far is that he wants to get to the end of the Arena and that he thinks there will be something useful there.

As we grab the packs and start to walk again, Haymitch turns to me. "Do you think it'll work?"

He's wondering if the Capitol will find a way to get some water into the Arena. "I think so."

I'm proven right when, about a half hour later, we see some clouds start to roll in. I briefly have time to wonder how they form clouds in an artificial Arena before rain starts coming down. Haymitch and I exchange a smile.

"You did it!" I say with a gasp. I whip one of the packs off my shoulder and grab a water bottle, holding it out to an area where the stream of water seems particularly large. The water filling it is enough to make me salivate.

Haymitch, who was a few steps ahead of me, turns around and I see a brief smile appear on his face. "Finally!"

I couldn't agree more. The second the bottle fills, I hold it to my cracked lips. Haymitch's face goes still for a second before he suddenly bounds forwards, knocking the bottle from my hands before I can actually take a sip. It crashes to the floor and the water pours out.

"Hey!" I cry, my wet hair splattering water everywhere as I whip around. "What was that for? We've been waiting to get water for days. It's raining!"

"It could be poisonous," he scowls, his smile from before replaced with his usual seriousness. "We're in the final seven, we have to be more careful."

"What?" Even I can hear the dismay in my voice. My tongue is so dry it feels like it could rip at any moment. "Why would it be poisonous?"

He shrugs. "It would be entertaining. And interesting. Better safe than sorry, Maysilee."

I sigh, the frustration evident in my tone. I can't bear to look at all the water pouring down on us while knowing I can't drink it. "Well, if it's poisonous, why isn't it affecting our skin?"

"It could be a slow acting oral poison."

"Is that even a thing?"

"Yes. It was in the poisonous plants and hazards station this year."

Leila and Ana were the ones who specialized in that station. "Oh. Well then, what are we going to do?"

Haymitch shrugs at first but then quickly brightens. "Fill up all our bottles."

"What, why? I thought you said the water could be poisonous."

Haymitch rummages in his pack for a second and produces a small white bottle. His poison reverse capsules. I had forgotten about those.

"Oh," I say, realization dawning on me. "We can use it to treat the water."

He nods. "Exactly."

"You're a genius," I say as we fill all our empty water bottles. Haymitch drops a capsule in each one. After a grueling half hour wait, the water turns from somewhat hazy to perfectly clear.

"Is it safe to drink now?" I ask as the rain slows to a stop. We've resumed our walking yet again and watching the water clear in our bottles has made me more thirsty than ever.

Haymitch holds the bottle to his nose and inhales deeply. I'm not sure how that is supposed to detect poison but it must be something he learned at the poison station at Training. I wish I had payed more attention while I was there.

"I think so," he says. "Besides, if we wait any longer, we'll face the consequences of dehydration anyway."

He takes a sip of water and I eagerly do the same. The cool sensation rushing through my mouth is more than welcome after what must have been days without water. I'm so relieved I could cry.

Haymitch suggests we pace ourselves but I reason with him. We collected six bottles of water. Surely the Gamemakers will provide more rain before we run out again. Or the Games will have ended before we need more.

After we've both finished an entire bottle each with no side effects, I get a little curious. "Do you really think the water was poisoned? I don't think everyone would have figured that out. Surely someone must have drank it."

Haymitch opens his mouth to reply, just as a canon booms through the air.

Haymitch Abernathy

The sound of the canon makes me flinch so violently that I drop the two packs I was carrying, sending them falling to the ground.

I immediately kneel to pick them up, hoping that my lowered position hides my face from Maysilee and all of Panem. My hands shake as I gather the few items that fell onto the ground and I'm vaguely aware that I must look like a deer caught in headlights. My heart thuds rapidly in my chest and I bite down on my lip, drawing blood.

Relax, Haymitch. You're okay. Everything's okay. It was just a canon. Nothing more.

I can feel Maysilee watching me. "Are you okay?"

Forcing myself to my feet, I manage not to stumble. Still, I don't meet her eyes. She sounds a little worried but not exactly surprised. I'm sure she has realized that the canons freak me out. "I'm fine." I focus my eyes on the tree in front of me as I try and catch my breath, hoping to seem somewhat composed.

Maysilee doesn't press me for details and for that, I'm grateful. Instead she asks, "Who do you think that was for?"

I run a mental list of all the remaining tributes through my head. Who's dead? "The girl from District 9 maybe. She didn't seem to have many skills during Training. I didn't really notice her. She must not have any sponsors. It makes sense that she would try and drink the rainwater." It hurts to talk about a child as a statistic but if I think about the unfairness of this any more, I don't know how I'd handle it. Distancing myself from the horror of it all is the only thing that works. Seeming cold hearted is a small price to pay to keep the rest of my image intact.

"You think she died from the water?"

I wait until my breathing is somewhat normal again. "What else could have happened in such a short time span?"

I catch Maysilee frown thoughtfully. "I suppose you're right. And I think it's the District 9 girl who died as well. Mazie told me that she didn't really have any special skills despite being eighteen. The other remaining tributes seem like much bigger threats."

"Mazie?"

Maysilee freezes and I know that she hadn't meant to let that detail slip. So far she has been very quiet about her past allies, although I'm sure I could guess who they were. I'm very curious as to how my district partners died—seeing their faces in the sky felt like blows to the chest—but I don't want to force Maysilee to talk about it. I don't even know if either of us could handle it just yet.

"Mazie, the other girl from 9," Maysilee says, trying to discreetly swipe at her eyes. "She died earlier in the Games."

That's obvious, since her face was in the sky, but I just nod. "So do you think it was just her who died from the poison?"

"Probably. The others must have enough sponsors to get water even now. Or they weren't desperate enough to drink the water right away. They must have had the same capsules you did." She looks at me suddenly and I'm struck by the intensity of her look. "We probably would have died as well if you hadn't thought of the water being poisoned. You saved our lives."

I blink. That hadn't occurred to me yet. After more than a week of being in an Arena full of death, it feels nice to know that I potentially saved two lives.

Something else occurs to me. "Where do you think she was?"

"What do you mean?"

"The girl who just died. She might have been near us. Maybe we can go check if it was really the poison that killed her. Just to make sure. That way we will know if we need to keep purifying rain water."

Maysilee nods. "That's a good idea. We must be near her or else the hovercraft would have come by now. Do you think she could have been watching us?"

"Probably not. Or else she would have waited to see what happened to our water before she drank it herself. But you have a good point about the hovercraft. We can look around the area quickly. Maybe we'll find her."

The two of us spend the next ten minutes trying to find the source of the most recent cannon. Peering through yet another set of trees, I'm about to give up when Maysilee calls from a few feet away.

"Haymitch! Over here!"

I rush over to where Maysilee is standing. Her eyes are wide and she has her hands over her mouth.

"What is it? Did you find who it was?"

She nods, keeping her hands where they are. They're shaking. "We were right. It was the girl from nine."

I don't realize that I've moved until I'm standing right in front of the girl's dead body. Her glassy eyes seem to stare right through me and her red hair is tangled and limp against the grass. But what's worse is her face. It's gaunt from starvation and I can see the many stings from what must have been the butterflies that stung me during the first day. Her lips are cracked and blue and there's blood painting the bottom half of her face. I remember the boy from eight from the very beginning of the Games. The one who died eating berries while I watched from a tree. I think of how he coughed up blood before collapsing. The same thing must have happened to this girl. She must have been so scared.

Maysilee walks up behind me. "This is awful." Her voice is hushed and dazed sounding, almost as though she doesn't remember that I'm next to her. "She looks like Leila did."

I turn around so quickly I get dizzy. "Leila?"

Maysilee nods slowly, her gaze transfixed on the girl in front of us. "She ate the fruit and died. That's how we found out it was poisonous."

I bite my lip and remember the young, sweet girl who seemed too innocent for this world. So that was how she died. Choking to death on a handful of fruit. I remember how well she did at the poisonous plants and hazards station. It seems almost cruel that she would still fall for the Gamemaker's tricks.

"I'm sorry about Leila." I don't know what else to say. Maysilee must have watched her die. I find myself hoping that Leila had someone to comfort her during her last moments.

Maysilee's gaze snaps back to me and I see the change in her face when she realizes that I now know how our young district partner died. "It's not your fault." Her gaze slips back to the girl in front of us. "At least now we know that the water in this Arena is poisonous as well."

"That was stupid of the Gamemakers," I remark. "What if we had all drunk the water? Then the Capitol wouldn't have had their finale. Or their Victor." I scoff, my voice turning sarcastic with anger. This is all so unfair. "Wouldn't that be such a tragedy?"

Maysilee shoots me a look and hisses, "What happened to no bad-mouthing the Capitol?"

I roll my eyes, but I'm more annoyed with the Capitol than I am with her. "They deserve it."

"Let's just get out of here. The hovercraft is probably waiting and if we don't leave, they'll just send a mutt after us."

I shiver, not at all eager to encounter one of those mutts again. "Okay, let's go."

We're turning to go when something catches my eye.

"Wait!" I call to Maysilee, who halts in her tracks and turns around.

"What's wrong?"

Taking care not to look at the dead face of the district 9 girl again, I scoop up the small maroon pack laying beside her. I hold it up to show Maysilee. "We should take it. It isn't like she'll be able to use it."

Maysilee looks intrigued. "Is there anything in there?"

I quickly skim through the contents, not surprised when I don't see much of value. "There's some more cloths and rope, which I suppose could come in handy." I dig deeper. "Oh, and two empty water bottles. We can use those in case it rains again."

"That's true. Is there nothing else?"

I move aside the cloths. "There's a parachute." I pull out the sponsor gift and hold it out to her. "It's a pack of nuts."

Maysilee frowns. "Why wouldn't she have eaten them?"

"She must have gotten them at the same time as when the rain started. Drinking water would have been her first priority."

She bites her lip and I can tell she feels guilty about taking things from a dead tribute. I feel bad as well but I'm not about to pass up on free food. Not now.

"She doesn't need this stuff anymore," I remind her. "Better it goes to us instead of being thrown out."

Maysilee seems to go through an internal dilemma before nodding. "You're right. Come on, let's go."

I sling the bag over my shoulder and take one last look at the corpse we're leaving here for the hovercraft to pick up.

I'm sorry you had to die.

"That was a smart idea," Maysilee says as I catch up to her. "Taking her pack. We should do that in case we run into anyone else."

I nod. "Okay."

We continue to walk in the same direction I've insisted upon. After a few minutes of silence, Maysilee turns to me.

"I'm glad we're allies."

It seems so genuine that I don't question why she said it. All the death we are seeing must have caught up to her. And even though being in the Arena in still torture. Even though I'm so tired I could collapse. Even though my hands won't stop shaking, I'm glad I have an ally to be with right now. It makes this nightmare just a little easier.

And the more I think about it, the more likely it seems that one of us will win. We have a way of getting resources and someone we can talk to about our troubles with. If we decide to that is. Still, in this moment, I find that the fact that it's available is more than enough.

"Me too."

Sorry this took so long. I've been so so busy but now that it's summer, I'll have way more time for updating.