Don't Own Borderlands, Only The Oc.
'thought'
"Speech"
System
"Speech through echo devices and Text via book, notes, or newspaper... when those are around..."
(Mid Chapter Authors Notes)
I let out a Yawn as we look to Lilith standing in front of four people, her arms crossed.
"Oh. David, Gaige." She mutters as she looks over. "What are you doing here."
"Are you seriously still on this?" I slowly ask as I look between the four.
They are all equally unimpressive to look at. One has a sniper, one has a rocket launcher, one has a Maliwan pistol, and another with a Torgue pistol
"I can't just kill someone who didn't do it." Lilith frowns. "then I'd be no better than Jack."
"Ah. But there's a difference. Jack just mindlessly kills. These four are brothers and are covering for each other. Kill one, the others may seek revenge."
I slowly look over to the corpse of the man laying in the street, a single gunshot wound to the throat, no form of melting, burning, freezing, nor exploding.
"Dear god Lilith... I take one look... ONE FUCKING LOOK at the corpse and oh look. I found the killer." I frown as I rub my temple.
I glance over each and every person, bound with rope, none of them have any echo devices so digistructing is impossible.
The man's wound is large, like a high caliber round passed through his neck.
I look to Gaige. "Can you figure it out?"
She looks to the corpse, covering her mouth and gagging slightly, then over the four people.
"I mean..." She is quiet for a second. "It's the sniper, right? They don't have any echo devices so they can't store the weapons... and that looks like a high caliber round..."
"Correct." I nod.
"YEAH! I DID IT! I AIN'T SORRY NEATHER! WHY DON'T YOU-"
"Ah. So, it's him?" The sheriff asks. *BANG*
He draws his revolver and shoots him square between the eyes.
We both slowly look over to Lilith as the other brothers let out shouts of rage.
Lilith lets out a sigh. "I mean, out of the four, I thought it was him, but I thought that the real killer might have ditched their gun."
"You expect people on pandora of all places to be... smart?" I slowly ask.
"…"
"You win this round." She sighs, running a hand through her hair. "It's good to have you back, even if your sass is annoying."
"What do you mean by that?" Gaige asks.
"Sorry." Lilith states. "I'm glad you are back despite David's sass being annoying."
"That's better." Gaige nods. "And understandable. David's sort of unbearable sometimes."
"So, what's been going on around here since we have been gone?"
"Ugh." Lilith Growls. "Like I said at the gate, Jack has been almost non-stop hammering our shield-"
To make her point several fireballs crash into the shield above us, sending loader bot pieces raining down the sides of the large dome.
"Hm." I hum as I look up. "Point taken. I wonder what the point of raining down like-"
I scratch my chin. "What would you say a Loader bot is worth? A hundred thousand? A million? Hn. Anyways, he's practically just throwing money at us."
"…"
"Anyways, as you were saying." I state as I refocus on Lilith as she begins walking away.
"Like I said," she begins as we slowly follow after her. "Mordecai got attacked, and several bandit clans are slowly encroaching on Sanctuary."
"In good news, however, Brick has returned to the Crimson Raiders, Moxxi's... friend... has converted the pieces of Wilhelm that survived your battle into a shelter... his shield is frankly incredible. Far stronger than Sanctuary's shield, but it can only reach so far and it recharges extremely slowly... but it can be powered with a reasonable amount of electricity... nothing like Sanctuary's shield."
"What about his second shield?" I ask with a small frown.
"Oh. That shield is quite a bit smaller, but we are doing something special with it... don't worry." She states.
"I see." I slowly nod.
"Ugh... I can't believe I didn't even get to do anything that fight." Gaige sighs.
"At least you weren't hurt." I shrug. "I'd become a little... unhinged... if that happened."
Lilith slowly looks over to us with a raise eyebrow but says nothing.
"Anything else good happen around here?" Gaige asks slowly as she looks around.
"Not much..." Lilith sighs. "We are starting to run out of supplies and people are getting a little more... violent."
"Yeah. We saw." I state with an even tone. "Murder in the streets doesn't normally happen in Sanctuary... even if it is a Pandoran town."
"Yeah..." Lilith sighs. "Luckily this was taken care of before they could escape... if they had, it would practically be asking for more people to act out like this. Ugh. Why are these people so annoying? Sanctuary is the only safe haven on Pandora. You would think that at the very least people would respect our rules."
"You are forgetting, Lilith... people on Pandora are bat-shit fucking insane." I mutter with a large frown. "Also a good like... seventy percent of the still living population on this planet are from Dahl's prison labor camp... y'know, so it's full of murderers, rapists, thieves, and loiterers."
"Loiterers?" Gaige asks with a raised eyebrow.
"Yep. The worst of the worst. The abominations of society." I grin.
I slowly lift a small cargo container with an impish smirk. "I wonder how long it'll take Salvador to remember I have this."
"An hour... at most." Gaige states with an equally mischievous expression.
"What... is that exactly?" Lilith asks.
"All of the treasure we got from the pirate adventure." I answer.
"…" she silently looks to the forearm-sized cargo container.
"Alright, yeah, it looks a little small, but it's actually a lot more than it looks-"
"That's what he said." Gaige whispers.
I give her a half lidded stare as I continue explaining to Lilith. "This item can shrink and grow on command... its real size is large enough for someone to live inside... comfortably. Meaning that it currently has like..."
I pause as I begin silently estimating.
"How much was in there, Gaige?"
"Well, we stacked several chests on top of each other, and turned them in a way so we could fit more... but it's a quarter from being totally full..."
"Roughly fifty?" I ask. "I really didn't check back in for the final number because I was a wee bit traumatized by the undersea vault, but I think it's around fifty, right?"
"If I remember correctly, we counted fifty-five." Gaige nods.
"So." I continue as I give the box a light shake. "This has upwards of fifty chests full of like... treasure and stuff."
"You didn't sort through it while you were there?" Lilith asks.
"To be completely and totally fair." I begin. "We were currently inside a massive skull, under tons upon tons of loose sand... we really didn't feel like getting buried alive, thus, we packed everything up, then left."
We follow Lilith into a building as a voice speaks up.
"Ah, Lilith, Mordecai has been trying to contact you for the past ten minutes. He said that it is of grand importance. Now. I need to- YOU."
I flinch as a short haired woman's eyes widen, she has brown hair, barely an inch long, a red coat that goes down to her knees, she wears brown pants, boots, and a stained white shirt underneath her coat.
Several emotions pass over her face in under a second, she eventually settles on a slightly maddened glee.
"The Anomaly!" She cheers as she widens her stance, possibly preparing to leap at me. "Please! Give me a sample! I need it!"
Tannis.
Wants to give you a THUROUGH inspection... How do you feel about kids?
"…"
"KAY BYE." I shout as the woman lunges forwards, she freezes mid-air as I grab Gaige, who has a disturbed looking expression on her face, and turn, running out the door as fast as I can.
Time resumes as I continue sprinting, Gaige flinches as she realizes she is now sideways and under my arm.
"Oi. Put me down." She states as she is jarred slightly.
"In a second." I hiss back to her. "I'm getting as far away from that psychopath as possible. She ABSOLUTELY wanted to fuck me."
"…"
"Not every woman wants to- oh my god. That's the 'I want a sample of your sperm' woman, isn't it?" She states.
"Yeeeeeeeep." I lowly growl, eventually coming to a halt in front of Zed's 'hospital' slash morgue.
"I had forgotten about that..." She mutters. "Keep going."
"I plan to... one of my main rules is 'Don't stick your dick in crazy' and well, she sounds pretty fucking crazy."
"I also have a rule... 'Don't let crazy stick their dick in you'. Sorry, David." The girl snorts.
"You know, I've been holding back my flirts and my lewd comments... then say something with 'Stick. Dick. In. Me. and David' all in one sentence." I deadpan down at her.
"…"
"Sorry." She apologizes with a small pout as she looks away. "Saw a chance and I took it... looks like it backfired."
"Just a bit." I agree.
We slide to a halt to the left of scooter's garage; I place Gaige's feet back on the ground and we slowly walk inside.
"I hope we don't ever meet that psycho again." I sigh, shoulders shuddering slightly before slumping.
"So, you're afraid of water and creepy scientists, hn?" Gaige hums.
"Both are reasonable fears." I scoff as we see my boat on the ground, a man slowly raising a large window up to it with a miniature crane as Zero watches with his arms crossed.
"Yo. Zero." I wave.
He looks over and gives a single wave with his strange four-fingered hand.
"We're going to sort the treasure."
He perks up at that announcement as I look up to Scooter.
"Hey, Scooter."
"Hn? What?" The hillbillyest of hillbillys calls out. "Do I know you?"
"I am one of the eight vault hunters trying to murder Jack. Would you care if we use a bit of your garage space for a minute?"
"I don't care." He shrugs. "Ain't no skin of my back, hombre. It's open, and I'm working on this. Do what chu' want."
I nod once and toss out the small crate watching as it enlarges to its shipping container size.
"So. you look concerned/ Did something happen to you?/Is this place not safe?" Zero begins
"Oh. We just met Tannis for the first time." I explain.
"Oh." He whispers.
"Oh..." He continues as he slowly looks down at his hand. "Oooooh."
"Understandable." He states with a small nod.
"Have you met her before?" I ask
"Correct. Yes I have/ She just talked about my hand/ 'Sample' this and that."
"Irksome." He is silent for a couple of seconds before shaking his head. "Insane."
"Absolutely right." I nod in understanding.
I wordlessly pick up my echo and call the other vault hunters. "Heyy, we're finally going to sort through the loot of the pirate adventure, come on down to Scooter's Garage and we'll do some unboxing-"
The large garage door is lifted. "LOOOOOOOOT!"
I glance over to see Salvador grinning brightly, practically salivating as he looks over the large container
"Oh. Salvador is here... you guys better hurry up if you don't want him to take everything."
Maya walks under the lifted door as Salvador steps it, it begins to close, but Krieg stops it with one hand and allows Maya to walk unhindered as he follows shortly behind.
"Just go ahead and open it up." Axton calls through the echo device. "I'll be there in a secon-"
"DON'T YOU DARE OPEN IT WITHOUT ME, HOME BOY!" Tina exclaims.
"Weeeellll, Daaaaamn you guys're loud as a horny skag with a prostate infection." Scooter calls out from up on my boat as he is putting the bullet proof glass in the back window. "This glass was thick as shit. Dunno how you broke it."
"Well. I guess we are waiting on you, Tina." I sigh as I float up and take a seat atop the cargo container. I hang up the echo device and lay back, folding my arms behind my head.
*SLAM*
The door up top is thrown open, causing me to glance over just in time to see Tina rush down one of the walkways on the second floor and leap over the railing.
She lands on the large cargo container, rushes for me, grabbing my collar and practically front flipping off and to the ground below, dragging me down alongside her.
I am forced to summon my siren bullshit wings to stop her from smashing her head open on the concrete floor, and she lands safely on her feet.
I grab her wrist and remove her hand from my collar as she points towards the crate. "OPEN IIIIIIT!"
I let out a sigh and pry it open with one hand, grabbing the letter within.
"Alright, so we counted forty smaller crates, ten large ones, and five extremely small."
"We all get five smaller crates, one large, then there are seven left over." I begin.
"We could make a bet over the final crates." Maya shrugs.
I shake my head and let out a sigh. "We'll worry about that later. Let's just worry about the majority right now... and seeing as how two of our group are psychos and look like they may stab me if I postpone this any longer, let's give them their share first."
"HELL YEAH!" Salvador grins as he raises his hands above his head.
Tina does a fist bump and grins as I step out of the way.
"You know the rules, five small, one large." I call out.
They both lunge forwards with maddened glee as I slowly walk away and sit down on the hood of a dismantled outrunner sitting nearby.
I hold up a hand, palm facing upwards, a simple strawberry milkshake appears moments later.
Gaige sits to my left. "It's sort of like Mercenary Day morning, hn?"
"Yep." I nod before I take a sip of my milkshake.
She suddenly looks over with a raised eyebrow. "Wait. Where did you get that?"
"Hn?" I hum, lips still around the strap. "Mn' Mhcsnnk?"
"…"
"Dude. Where the hell did you get a milkshake on Pandora..." She frowns with a half-lidded expression.
"I made it." I shrug.
"You used your power that is known to create weapons that can kill massive mass-murdering sand beasts... to make giant fuckin sniper rifles that can take blimps out of the sky with a single shot... to make a milkshake?" She deadpans.
"Yep." I nod before taking another sip of my milkshake.
"…"
"Can I have one?" She quietly pleads.
"Sure." I say as I conjure another milkshake and hand it to her, this one chocolate.
She takes it, uttering a quiet statement of gratitude. "Thanks..."
She takes a drink, her eyes widening. "Huh... this is pretty freaking good."
She smirks and gives me a poke in the ribs with her elbow. "Hey, maybe I should use you to make other stuff."
"I mean, if you ask for it, I'll probably just give it to you... I don't really care much as long as it's inexpensive." I shrug.
"…"
She is quiet for a second before looking away and letting out like a sigh. "Ugh. You were supposed to take a jab back at me... something like 'oh wow. You plan to take advantage of me, hmm?' Not just give in... I'd never just use you like that. If I did, I'd be no better than that bitch Marcy."
I slowly look over. "Hn? What did she do?"
"Oh, she had like had like hundreds of boyfriends. She was a total rich bitch. Dated with and slept with anyone she felt like, then cheated on them whenever she got bored. God forbid you cheat on her... I heard that it happened once, and the dude was found dead in a ditch. She apparently ran to her father and he called someone to kill them... I personally think it was a couple dirty cops due to the handcuffs found on him, but eh. Who knows. She's primarily the reason I didn't date back in school. Basically every single boy had ridded on the Marcy bike and I didn't want to risk that miniscule chance of having someone utter the words 'not as good as Marcy', cause then I'd die on the spot... like, just turn to stone... also I was dorky and nobody liked me."
"Hn." I hum. "So, you're a virgin, then?"
"and you're not? Heh. Don't make me laugh." She snorts with an amused expression.
"…"
"…"
"You know, sometimes life fucks me. So, I don't really know what to say to that." I scoff as I look away.
We sit in silence for a few seconds as Tina and Salvador slowly drag box after box from the shipping container, but she eventually speaks up again. "Also, did you really just ignore the 'I was dorky and nobody liked me' line? You are supposed to compliment me! Comfort me! I might not know much of dating but I did watch a lot of romance movies!"
I am silent for a moment before moving on, much to Gaige's annoyance.
"Anyways, now that I am properly insulted, you are just begging for me to say 'Not as good as Marcy' after I virgn't you." I pout as I give her a light glare.
"By all means." She shrugs. "If you are a masochist and really want me to beat the ever-loving shit out of you... do it."
"Also. 'Virgn't'? Really?" She asks with a raised eyebrow. "Ugh. That almost made me physically cringe."
"Don't you make fun of me." I frown.
"No deal. I have to date you. I get to make fun of you as much as I want when you say dumb things... now, other people? Absolutely not. I won't stand for that. But I see me making fun of you as a sort of sign-on bonus... it comes with the territory."
"One of these days, Gaige." I sigh. "One of these days..."
"One of these days you'll do what?" She asks with a slightly smug smirk.
"I dunno." I shrug. "Use my powers to recreate Marcy or something... but like... a robot... robo Marcy... and download her to your arm?"
"Oh, the horror." Gaige sighs.
It looks like Salvador and Tina have finished picking their boxes.
"I'm cool with going last, so you other loot goblins can go first."
Zero materializes in front of the open crate doors and gives us a thumbs up.
"This is a really good milkshake... you have a gift." Gaige complements after about a minute of silence. "Living with you after this mess might actually be pretty nice."
I slowly look over to her. "Alright, I just realized it, but did you fucking take my horny?! Did you steal it?! Firstly, how dare you. Horny Thief. Secondly, if you want to fuck, just ask."
She opens her mouth to respond, only to seemingly have a flashback of the past thirty or so minutes. "Huh."
She is quiet for a second. "Alright, so maybe the psycho doctor woman made me a little scared of losing you to another girl... maybe she made me a little insecure. so I seem to be putting in a little more effort to keep you interested."
I give her a flat stare. "Alright. Name one woman in our general presence I can legitimately make advances towards."
"…" She is silent as she slowly looks around.
"Allow me to answer that question." I continue a moment later. "Maya is a no. While she is attractive, she's one: like six to ten years older than I am, and two: taken. Tina? I mean, she checks quite a few check marks in the personality department, she's funny, jokey, and flirtatious, but she's like twelve. And that crosses out dozens of other check marks like 'isn't basically a child' and 'has a good figure'. Also she's completely bat shit insane. Think back to my one rule- which is only broken depending on hotness."
"Next there's Tannis? Firstly, INSANE. The 'I need your semen' thing speaks for itself, and secondly, she seems to have the personality of a posh bitch. Lilith? Well I mean, she's hot... literally... but she's at the very least ten years older than I am... also sidenote, it's sort of weird how one siren has firey orange hair, and the other has blue... like... neither of them have died their hair, those are just their basic colors- now back to the list... Moxxi?"
"…"
"…"
"…"
I narrow my eyes up at the ceiling as Gaige roughly jabs her elbow into my side causing me to blink to attention. "Oh right. She's even older than Lilith. So that makes you literally the only choice."
"On Pandora." Gaige states with a half-lidded expression.
"I mean, are we planning on leaving pandora any time soon?" I ask. "By that point, I'd imagine our relationship would be a wee bit farther than we are right now... Definitely past first base... perhaps second? Who knows... but that's still a fair distance away."
Gaige and I quietly wait our turns as the others calmly sort through the crate.
"YOOOOO!" Tina shouts as she raises a pendant above her head.
I glance over to see a golden chain with a golden medallion at the bottom, upon it is a skull and crossbones with two small rubies where its eyes would normally be
Amulet of the Volcano (Effervescent) (Artifact)
"Krakatoa!"
Grants the wielder fire immunity.
All of the wielder's fire damage is increased by 500%
"…"
She puts it on. "Pretty!"
"Hn." I hum. "That honestly would make Lilith nigh unstoppable, but I guess Tina can use it."
Gaige slowly looks over. "You know what it does?"
"Fire immunity and makes your fire attacks considerably stronger." I answer.
"And you can tell that with just a glance." She asks slowly, her eyebrows raised in surprise.
"Yep." I nod. "I'm quite good at several things... making stuff, draining stuff, having sweet sword fights on top of giant robots that decide the fate of the planet, killing stuff."
"Being annoying." Gaige interjects.
"That too." I agree with a nod. "I'm a master at that."
Axton finally showed up and decided to grab his couple of chests before Gaige an I.
Gaige finally walks over to the container and picks out a couple of chests, I hover around her as she looks through them.
She opens the first small chest...
We both stare lifelessly down at what's within...
Clothes...
Underwear in particular.
SEXY Lingerie underwear to be even more specific.
Hundreds and hundreds of pairs of underwear... unused, mind you, mostly female with a few male here and there, and made out of a breathable cotton blend... honestly clean underwear would sort of be a treasure on Pandora.
She silently closes the box and moves onto the next, this one has a metric ass load of ammunition stacked within, it's about two and a half feet wide, two feet tall, and one and a half feet deep, and there are boxes of pistol shells stacked neatly atop each other, it looks like there are fifty per box, and judging by the height, width, and depth, there are potentially like... I dunno... over sixty boxes of pistol shells within. Boring, but useful.
The next has treasure and gold, which definitely washed out the bad taste two horrible treasures left within Gaige's mouth.
The next box has a bunch of carefully packaged pistols, each of Epic rarity.
The next has several rifles carefully packed within the large crate, they are all of Epic rarity or higher.
That leaves us with Gaige's last small chest.
She opens it, and a bright purple glow shines in our face, the entire box is absolutely lined with bricks of refined Eridium, and sitting atop is a simple pistol that looks... alien... and strange.
The barrel is made of some twisted metal substance that has blue lines glowing along the side, swirling and curving with each bend, there is a large open square for where a magazine would go in the side of the gun, and the handle seems to have four dips within it, showing where your fingers would go if you held it, the blue lines seem to coalesce right there, right within each gap.
I narrow my eyes slightly.
Eridian Phase-Blaster. (E-Tech) (Effervescent)
"Time is your friend; impulse is your enemy. The Siren waits thee, singing song for song."
Infinite Ammunition.
High Damage
Considerably more powerful when wielded by a Siren.
Can be supercharged with Eridium, much like a Siren can.
"Oh." I whisper. "Oh fuck."
"What is it?" She asks.
I pick it up wordlessly in my left hand, but nothing seems to happen, I frown and shift it to my right hand.
It lets out a hum as the lines along the side as slowly begin glowing purple as my tattoos follow along.
I am silent for a moment. "Hey, Gaige... I think I just got an idea for my eventual weapon company's gimmick... Infinite ammunition... empowered by a Siren or Eridium."
"That gun can-" she gasps. "What?!"
"The thing is." I continue. "It's also on par with my sword and Tina's new apparent necklace. So it's probably strong as hell, even if you aren't a siren."
I wordlessly hand it over to her with a smile. "Anyways, it was in your chest, so you can keep it."
"Wh- Really? Wouldn't it benefit you more?" She mutters, seemingly reluctant to take it from me.
"I mean, yeah, but it's yours. You keep it... it'll be a decent sidearm, plus you'll never need to reload it." I state as I force her to grab it.
She looks down at the gun in her hands. "Alright..."
"Wait a second." I pause as I reach out and touch the side of the barrel.
I channel some essence into it so I can make another copy in the future if needed. "Alright, I copied it. You're good."
She de-digistructs it into her echo device as I let out a low hum.
Lilith takes this moment to call us. "You all need to get to the Crimson Raider HQ as soon as possible."
"I'll do it if you tell that psycho bitch to leave." I deadpan down at the echo. "If Tannis is there when I get there, fuck all of you. I'm leaving. I'm not dealing with that."
I slowly look around the room. No Tannis in sight.
Good.
We hadn't quite completely sorted through the loot, but I can already tell more or less what we got. Several chests of gold and jewels, nearly a hundred Epic rarity guns, potentially more from my share and the extra boxes, about a dozen legendary weapons of assorted type and manufacturer, a box of sexy underwear, two Effervescent-Tier items, four Sereph items, and two Pearlescent.
So yes. The pirate adventure has been worth it.
"So, what do you need us for." I ask as I take another glance around the room.
The other vault hunters are scattered around the room, more or less doing their own thing. Roland is here, Lilith is here, but sadly Brick isn't... who knows where he is.
"We found out where Mordecai's bird was being held... we need you all to go save it, hacking into Hyperion's servers while you are there and look for anything related to the Vault key-" Roland begins
"Might I interject."
The holographic screen shifts to show a woman's face. Angel's face.
"YOU?!" Lilith shouts.
"Damn it! I thought I told you never to contact us again!" Roland snarls.
"Will you just please hear me out."
"Oh sure. Let's listen to the crazy computer that told us the first vault was full of treasure and not some star-eating galaxy-wide threat." Lilith sarcastically remarks before letting out a growl.
"The key is with me! I am charging it!"
"…" the room is utterly silent as people seem to slowly comprehend just what those words mean in the grand scheme of things.
"Soooo... you're working with Jack, hn?" I hum. "Called it."
"I don't have much time! Jack monitors my conversations most of the time, but he is currently in an important meeting with some person named Jerry. I need your help. The key automatically charges itself once every two hundred years, and while Jack may be patient... he isn't that patient. He has been using my power to forcibly charge the key with Eridium. If you find me, you find the vault key."
"Well, you just said you were working with Jack, Señora, so why should we trust you?" Salvador points out, for the first time in a while having an actual valid and semi-intelligent point.
"My current life is... suffering... Jack uses me for everything... but primarily hacking and spying." Angel continues. "You have no reason to trust me... but I am your only chance of stopping handsome Jack."
I look to Gaige who is sitting to my left. "We really should develop some sort of program to block out calls."
She nods slowly.
"The vault key is housed in my AI control core atop thousand cuts, the problem is, that it is inaccessible due to three incredibly devastating security hurdles... firstly, there is a competitor deterrence field, an incredibly large dome which will vaporize anyone who passes through it unless they are authorized personnel. The second, is a defense bunker with the most high-tech weaponry Hyperion can afford. And the third, is a door that will only open for Handsome Jack." Angel explains.
"How the hell do we open it if it only opens for Handsome Jack?" Axton asks from the corner as he sits on a small sofa. "Tch- do we like, break into Hyperion's space station and drag him down? That'll never work."
"I'm running out of Time... Jack seems to be getting more and more irked at this Jerry guy and- he just called a loader. Crap. Whatever you do. Do NOT allow Lilith into my chambers." Angel finishes.
"What the hell? Why not?" Lilith asks.
"Because she's a Siren and Jack has probably more or less enslaved her with some form of technology and is using her to charge the vault key with Eridium." I point out with a bored expression. "If we free her, and you, Maya, or Myself- wait, I can't use Eridium- if you or Maya are there, Jack would probably just stick said controlling tech on you and use you to charge the key."
"Wait... What?" Lilith asks, as a majority of the people in the room look confused.
"Shit! He's calling me!" Angel says.
""Language."" Axton and I deadpan at the same time.
"Please be careful! You are Pandora's only hope." She calls out, ending her connection with us, neither confirming nor denying my statement.
Roland lets out a sigh. "Ugh. If it was a trap, she would have made it sound at least a little bit possible... I think this is the real deal."
I slowly look around the room to the still stunned faces of my friends. "What? You seriously didn't know she was a siren?! She was being super fucking obvious with it."
"How did you guess that?" Lilith mutters.
"You are telling me you guys didn't immediately think of 'Siren' when she went all 'Phase Shift' this, and 'Phase Shift' that? I know at the very least Zero had some suspicions."
He nods once. "Yes."
"But with the fact that she said she was charging the vault key with eridium is what really sold it for me... and on that note, she is more than likely using it to boost her technopathic abilities to ridiculous extremes. Anyways, let's not talk about this because of our absolutely horrid echo inscription. Jack honestly could finish his meeting at any time and think 'oh, yeah, I should probably check on them', tap into our echos and just stay silent. Listening to our plans."
"You're right." Roland states while cupping his chin.
He is silent for a couple seconds. "Alright. I have an idea for the first hurdle of our plan to stop Jack."
"Keeping it Vague to stop Jack from listening in?" I ask. "Nice."
"Luckily one of our earlier plans had some stuff we can use in this scenario... Mordecai and Bloodwing attacked a Hyperion convoy that we were led to believe held important data... Bloodwing swooped down and slid a hacking device into one of the loaders sitting on the back of one of the trucks, what we found... was a claptrap upgrade... ugh. I don't like doing this, but from what I saw of it, it looks like it has enough for what we require."
He shakes his head. "anyways, the convoy was a trap designed to lure Mordecai and Bloodwing in, at which point they captured Bloodwing and took her to some place called 'The Wildlife Exploitation Preserve'."
Everyone around the room can feel something is wrong as Roland states those four words.
Tina whispers something, breaking the silence.
"W-What did you just say?"
DUN DUN DUN
And thus, the plot thickens!
Also, apparently this was happening when Jack was absolutely roasting the fuck out of poor Jerry two chapters ago... good to know!
Also, UGH I have so many ideas for the climactic finale of this series and major plot points but the slog to get there is painful.
Guest reviews:
Guest 001: I know, right? The only thing I could ever think of doing with fire magic is turning the fire into blue flames, white flames, or into a miniature sun... but that'd take effort. Super Saiyan is just a static x50 multiplier and opens even more ridiculous transformations.
Guest 002: I mean, theoretically he COULD return the ocean to pandora with his water powers, but why would he, a scared lil boy with hydrophobia EVER want to do that?
Guest 003: I'm surprised there aren't more Borderlands fics in general... not just Gamer ones.
JustAFan123: Eh, Gaige was originally supposed to be 16, but Gearbox knee-jerked her to 18 due to the fact some characters make passing lewd comments at your player character. Still a reasonable age for David's age of 'however old her wants to be in between fourteen and eighteen'.
Guest 004: oh, no he absolutely just scanned her arm a couple of chapters ago to find out that it DID in fact have a vibrate function.
Anyways, I'll see you all next time!