Harry Potter and the voided Marriage Contract
HP AU ? HP and DG.
A Marriage contract story that's just a quick crack whatif.
AN: Not a romance. Some bad language.
I needed a more crack plot. Somehow this dribbled out of my brain.
The three-times removed sequel to my crackfic Harry Potter and the Method of Double-tap. Go read that first.
This story takes place after Harry Potter and the Goblet of fire; and if you don't read the prequel, nothing will make less sense… Or more sense. Or something. This is fanfic!
If you weren't reading… Harry's killed Peter Pettigrew, somewhat vanquished Voldemort in the graveyard with a lot of help from Cedric Diggory, killed the fake Mad-Eye moody, been freed forever from Dursleys by a freed Sirius Black, handed back the gun Sirius gave him, then avoided death by accidental arranged marriage to Delphini Riddle, and gone home to Grimmauld place.
Harry's betrothal contract with Delphini Riddle showed up as an extra face on the magical family tree with a line linking Delphini Riddle to Harry. There were of course lines up the family tree showing her parentage. Tom Riddle finally made into a real pure-blood family tree. Briefly.
Thanks to JK Rowling and her publishers etc.. for allowing fanfic.
Grimmauld place, kitchen.
Sirius Black sat down at the kitchen table and admired his leather jacket on the back of the kitchen door.
Harry headed off upstairs.
"Where are you going Harry?" asked Sirius, chasing after Harry.
"Just going to check the family tree. Just to be sure." replied Harry.
"Fine, my paranoid godson." said Sirius, who liked chasing things. Like a dog, really.
Harry enters the room with the family tree and headed for his own section.
Harry and Sirius bent down and looked at Harry's face on the family tree that covers the walls of the whole room. "Fuck… there's still a girl there linked to my name" said Harry. "I'm still in a marriage contract!"
"Lumos" cast Sirius, squatting slowly.
"I still can hardly see... still a witch D something"
"Lumos" repeated Sirius.
"Who the hell is Daphne Greengrass?" asked Harry. 'And why am I in a marriage contract with her.' he thought
Sirius snorted "The Greengrasses are in the sacred twenty-eight and she's born in 1980, like you. She's at Hogwarts with you" said Sirius certainly.
"How do you know all that?" said Harry, noting the year of birth on Daphne's name-rectangle-thingy.
"Harry, there are only twenty-eight names in the sacred twenty-eight. It's easy." said Sirius.
"Sirius, I solemnly swear, I've never heard of her" said Harry.
Sirius snorted. "Well, she's not a bastard, or a halfblood" said Sirius, tracking upwards. "Her mother's an Abbot."
Silence.
"Sirius, can I have the gun back, so I can shoot myself?" asked Harry.
"Harry," Sirius squinted at the painting "She looks alright" he said.
"This is not happening" said Harry, shaking his head.
"Harry, you probably don't have to marry her" said Sirius.
"What?"
"We'll find the Potter family rules, I'll un-adopt you, you'll be fine"
"Sirius, that sounds like a load of bull"
"I Was trying to make you feel better" said Sirius.
"So I go from having Voldemort try to kill me, to having to marry some girl I've never met." cried Harry.
"Harry, you've met her, you might not have ever noticed her, or talked to her, but she was at the same sorting as you" said Sirius.
"Well she's not in Gryffindor"
"Well of course not"
"What do you mean?"
"The hats tell you the house people were in at Hogwarts" said Sirius.
"But her hat is silver"
"Yeah, well, that explains why you haven't talked to her." said Sirius.
"Huh"
"Harry, look at most of the Blacks. What colour are their hats"
"Umm…. Silver"
"Slytherin" said Sirius.
"I'm dead. A witch from Slytherin, forced to marry me… I'm a dead man" moaned Harry.
"No Harry, you'll just be dead on the inside" said Sirius, cheerfully. "Like all your Black forebears"
...
"Harry, you can talk to snakes, right" asked Sirius
"Yeah"
"Problem solved. Use snake speech on her" said Sirius.
"Asshole" said Harry sulkily.
...
"We need to deal with this, write her family a letter"
"I'm fourteen" cried Harry.
"And you're an adult at seventeen, so you only have three years to get to know her."
-==0==-
The kitchen, that afternoon
"Come on Harry, we're going shopping you need clothes that fit."
"You're going to buy me clothes?"
"Well, you're too small for mine, and I'm wearing them"
"Sirius, thanks"
"Don't thank me, this is going to take ages"
-==0==-
Back at Grimmauld place, later.
"Sirius, why is your house filthy and full of magical pests"
"Because my mother died and left it for ten years"
"I'm sorry"
"Don't be, she was a horrible woman, who supported Voldemort"
"I'm sorry it's disgusting." clarified Harry.
"Well, we could hire some cleaners, I suppose" mused Sirius.
"Sirius, I'm really upset about the marriage contract stuff"
"It is awful, but we're Blacks. Show some stiff upper lip."
"I'm fourteen and forced to marry Sirius, I'm very sad" complained Harry.
"And I know about the contracts Black uses Harry, I'll do all I can to help you."
"Well, what would get me out of it?"
"You can't get out…. You're a Black by adoption."
"What would make Daphne Greengrass ineligible?"
"She's a pure-blood, she's eligible"
"And there's no magic to change who someone's parents are?"
"No… actually, there might be away" said Sirius, looking thoughtful.
-==0==-
The Leaky Cauldron, the back room.
Sirius and Harry walk in, the door is marked "Private function"
There's a family sitting, waiting.
Harry sees a Blond mother, a blond daughter… That must be Daphne. She has blue eyes, and an angry face.
"Lord Black, Mister Potter" says the father, standing up. He's dark haired, like the younger daughter, who seems excited.
"Lord Greengrass" says Sirius, nodding.
"My wife Salome" she nods.
"My daughter Daphne," Daphne stares at Harry angrily. 'This is not going well' thought Harry.
"My youngest, Astoria." Astoria seems highly amused and winks.
"I think everyone knows Me, and Harry's more famous than I am" said Sirius.
Mrs Greengrass frowns.
Harry tries to do the thing they rehearsed "Lord Greengrass, Lady Greengrass, Daphne, Astoria" he nods to them all.
"Please, call me Gary" says Lord Greengrass.
Astoria titters.
Salome Greengrass elbows her husband "Cyrus , call me Cyrus" says Cyrus.
Harry can't help it, and he snorts. Salome and Daphne and Astoria all look like they've heard Cyrus make a joke like this before, and have ceased to find it funny.
Cyrus waves them down, and they sit, opposite the Greengrasses.
"So, our children are caught in a dangling marriage contract" said Cyrus.
"Our second this month" replied Sirius casually.
Astoria snorts. Cyrus looks peeved. Daphne briefly stops glaring long enough to look surprised, then goes back to glaring.
"We heard about that Riddle Girl. Who are they anyway?" asked Cyrus.
Harry coughs "Voldemort's bastard daughter" he says, as plainly as he can.
Salome speaks up "Well, I can see that would have been unacceptable" she says, in a dignified voice.
Daphne looks like she's trying to kill Harry with eye power alone. Great.
Sirius speaks up "So at present, Harry is my Heir, to Black, and Potter as well."
Cyrus blinks. "Both?"
"Well, I don't have a wife or children" explained Sirius "But that could change"
Daphne gives Sirius a look that makes Harry think she thinks 'not bloody likely.'
He snorts. Daphne glares at him.
Sirius starts again "Now Harry hasn't met Daphne, even though they're both at Hogwarts."
Daphne mouths 'gryffindork' silently.
Harry tries to smile but he's feeling terrified.
"So, I assume that from how they're looking at each other, neither is very happy with the contract" asked Sirius.
"Daphne is uh... " said Cyrus
"Ropeable" said Daphne clearly, in an upper class accent.
Salome smiles thinly, as this is clearly more appropriate language than has been used before.
"Well Harry, did say... that he thought he was a dead man" said Sirius.
"I'm dead. A witch from Slytherin, forced to marry me… I'm a dead man" said Harry, quoting.
Daphne's face brightened up at this admission. Harry noticed that she was actually pretty, when not trying to glare him to death.
"So, we have a quite standard, unwanted contract. Any exit clauses you can find?" asked Sirius.
"Our lawyers have found it, and it is an old Black contract" explained Salome, ominously.
"Oh dear" said Sirius.
"You are familiar with these contracts?" asked Cyrus.
"They have turned up in family discussions" said Sirius and sighed.
"Is there any way out of it?" asked Harry. Daphne looked very pleased at the question.
"Well, apart from unlikely mass deaths, I have a way to cancel the contract" said Sirius.
Cyrus Greengrass looked interested "How?"
"The easiest way out of if it, is if no Greengrasses are eligible to be the subject of the contract. Now, betrothing them both would have worked, but the contract has already taken effect." said Sirius "But that leaves the question of bloodlines."
"My girls are pure-bloods" said Salome huffily.
"And this then curses one of them to Marry Harry." said Sirius "However , if Cyrus was to take a blood-adoption potion, and become a halfblood, there would be no eligible Greengrasses, ever again."
"Ever" asked Daphne.
"The contract is very biased about half-bloods" explained Sirius.
"What you ask, it ruins the girls prospects" said Cyrus. 'And makes me a halfblood' went unstated.
"I will of course compensate the house of Greengrass" said Sirius. "The part where both your daughters will never have to tolerate a pure-blood arranged marriage ever, well, I give your daughters that for free" said Sirius.
Salome looked at Cyrus. Cyrus spoke up "We need some time to think about this" he said.
-==0==-
The Leaky Cauldron, the back room, two weeks later.
The Greengrass family sat at the table, Cyrus looking tense, The girls are looking a bit excited. Salome looked hopeful. Cyrus had their copy of the contract in front of him.
Sirius and Harry came in and sat down.
"So, what have the Greengrasses decided" asked Sirius bluntly.
"I'll do it, anything to save my girls from being forced to marry someone, no offence intended" replied Cyrus.
Harry nodded "Thank you, Sir" said Harry. "I wouldn't wish it on anyone to have their choices taken away."
Sirius reached into his cloak and took out a bulging, clinking bag "Ten thousand galleons, some compensation" he said, and then took out a brown potion, and the contract. "Here's the potion"
"Who is the… muggle" asked Cyrus.
"A muggle with a witch for a daughter" replied Sirius and winked at Harry.
Harry frowned, Sirius hadn't explained this bit.
Cyrus quaffed the potion. He winced and coughed, his features bubbling a little like the effect of polyjuice potion, then settling down, subtly different, but still recognisably the same person. His hair seemed to be different. Had it always been a bit crinkly?
The contracts glowed blue and started to burn with blue flames, burning to ash.
"Well Daphne, Harry, I'd like to congratulate you both on being free" said Sirius.
Daphne's hair wasn't straight anymore, Harry realised, it was slightly wavy. Really, it just looked like she'd had a fancy hairdo.
Cyrus pulled his wand and cast lumos. His wand lit up.
The Greengrass girls both nervously drew their wands and cast lumos. Daphne seemed surprised to see her wand glow so brightly. Harry shrugged, lots of people he knew had a bright lumos.
"Well, that concludes our business" said Sirius "I'd like to say, Lord Greengrass, I look forward to working with you in the Wizengamot, and it's been a pleasure solving our children problems, with you."
"Won't you stay for lunch?" asked Salome.
"I'm afraid I planned to take Harry out and corrupt him a bit after this. He's really far too nicely brought up" said Sirius. Salome coughed. Daphne's eyes grew wide. Astoria giggled.
"Are we really half-bloods now?" asked Daphne.
"Yes dear" said Cyrus.
Daphne reached out her hand to Harry "Daphne Greengrass, halfblood" she said.
Harry took it and shook it "Harry Potter, halfblood. Welcome to the club" he said.
They left and Harry was smuggled by Sirius into a picture theatre to see a film he was miles too young for.
-==0==-
A week into fifth year, Hogwarts.
Daphne Greengrass slipped a note into Harry's book bag on the way out of potions.
Harry didn't find it till later, as he unpacked his books before bed.
'
Harry Potter,
We need to meet. Something odd is going on
Third floor empty charms classroom forty-one, ten pm.
DG'
Harry grabbed his invisibility cloak and ran for it. He was ten minutes late.
"Hello" said Harry, after shutting the classroom door behind him.
"What the hell?" asked a confused looking Daphne Greengrass, her wand drawn.
Harry realised he was still wearing his invisibility cloak, and took it off.
"Oh, you have an invisibility cloak" said his, used-to-be fiancée.
"What is it, I was about to go to sleep" said Harry.
"I've, um, been doing better on practicals since, you know. What father did" said Daphne.
Harry blinked "How better?"
"Easier power." said Greengrass "It's easier to get a spell to go right. The wave in my hair is, well, I guess it's okay."
"How much easier?" asked Harry, curious about magic.
"I used to be able to flip a table" said Greengrass "Now watch this" she waved her wand, casting wingardium leviosa, and flicked three tables across the room.
"Nice work" said Harry mildly.
"Why?" she asked, eyebrows narrowing.
"Well, you've got a bit of someone else's blood in your family now, not pure-bloods. Half-bloods are powerful." said Harry.
"Rubbish!" said Daphne.
"I'm a halfblood, Lord Voldemort is, thought he pretends to be a pure-blood, and closer to home, Hermione Granger's a muggleborn, and she's scary as hell when she wants to be. Dumbledore's not in the sacred twenty-eight either."
"You're not powerful" said Daphne dismissively.
Harry cast the levitation charm, and blew six desks to the end of the room. "We done? I need to get some sleep, I've got Quidditch practice tomorrow morning?"
Daphne Greengrass nodded, her wavy blonde hair reminding Harry of someone. Lavender Brown: that was it, she had wavy blonde hair.
She left, Harry left behind her, invisible.
One the way back to the dorms, Harry thought. A muggle, whose daughter is a witch. Cyrus's brown hair had got wavy. Daphne's hair was wavy. Like Hermione's at the ball. Harry stopped dead. Sirius had, he'd done that. It was obvious in hindsight, as was Daphne's new power. Hermione had new cousins. Snooty, Slytherin, second cousins.
Harry laughed, a disembodied giggle all the way back to the Gryffindor portrait hole.
-==0==-
It was after the first model exams of OWLs that Harry heard it. Something that couldn't happen. Hermione was swearing. Hermione Granger was swearing. In the hallway.
"That blonde bitch" said Hermione Granger. She was glaring at the notice on the pinboard by the great hall. Harry stepped over to his grumpy friend. It was a table of academic standing, as of after the model exams. He looked at the section for fifth year, charms. Hermione was being beaten by… Daphne Greengrass. And again in Transfiguration. Hermione dominated Runes and Arithmancy.
"Hermione, why are you cursing" asked Harry.
"Because Daphne Greengrass, that inbred blonde, has somehow got her grades up in charms and transfiguration. She's always had weak wand-work, and now she doesn't" said Hermione crossly.
"And this is a problem?" asked Harry mildly.
"It would be like Malfoy beating you in … Hermione looked at the charts. "Well, Defence!"
Harry blinked. The idea of the blonde ponce beating him in Defence, ridiculous.
"Hermione, why Defence, surely I beat him in everything." said Harry calmly.
Hermione lowered the hand she was using to find grades against names. "Harry, you're, well, you're not that good at anything but Defence. You're top in Defence."
"My Potions grade is bullcrap" said Harry defensively "Snape hates me."
"You model exam grade was rubbish" said Hermione.
"But I'm doing okay in charms and Transfiguration?" asked Harry.
"Oh look for yourself." said Hermione.
"Hermione, just so you know, I think you're more than your marks." said Harry.
"Harry, don't ever use lines like that on me ever again. That's something you say to people with crap grades. Like Ron, for example," sad Hermione.
"Um, Hermione, I had an interaction with the Greengrasses over summer, and um, they're not actually pure-bloods, they're more half-bloods, like me"
"Ron said they were in the sacred twenty-eight" said Hermione.
"They used to be" said Harry, honestly.
"So Greengrass isn't some pure-blood bitch?"
"I believe she may be halfblood bitch" replied Harry evenly.
Hermione snorted "Harry Potter, watch your language." Harry found that hypocritical.
Harry found the line with his name for Transfiguration; nine from top… out of forty. Charms, he was eight from top. Herbology… well he wasn't last. Astronomy… well who really cared. Harry stopped looking.
-==0==-
"So who do you fancy" asked Seamus, as the fifth year boys lay on their beds on a Thursday night.
"Hannah Abbot" said Neville, without a seconds hesitation.
Harry thought about blonde Hannah, Susan's best friend. She was pretty, and nice. "Good show Nev" said Harry "At least you know what you like" she was, Harry thought a bit wet.
"What about Harry Potter, the boy who was engaged" asked Seamus. "Ask me last" said Harry.
"Lavender" said Ron, blushing.
Dean spoke up "Padma Patil."
Ron snorted "You like to live dangerously. Pavarti will hex you."
Dean said "There's something about brainy girls".
"Well I'm going to find a muggle girl after school" said Seamus. "I don't think witches are for me. I like the idea of a wife who won't poison me or hex me."
Harry coughed. Seamus was very brave saying that in the castle.
"So Harry?" asked Ron.
"I'm um… Cho Chang" he blurted.
"Blimey" said Ron "You don't mind the Ravenclaw girls even though they're mean to Luna" he asked.
Harry sat up "Ron… you make a good point." he said thoughtfully.
"We're doomed" lowed Seamus theatrically, one hand to his forehead. "Ron's said something that changed Harry's mind. Must be the end of the world."
"I'm not that bad" complained Harry.
"Everything weird in the school happens to you Harry" replied Seamus. "The prophet said you were engaged to you-know-who's daughter."
"Oh that, that one was easy. She was a bastard, my godfather ripped the contract right up" replied Harry.
"That one" said Dean suspiciously.
"Well there was another one the week after." admitted Harry. "We did a deal to get out of it."
"You got out of a magical marriage contract" said Seamus, incredulous "Susan says its practically impossible."
"Susan?" asked Harry incredulously.
"Seamus and Susan are buddies" explained Dean "They both like the same awful music."
"Crosby Stills and Nash are the greatest" said Seamus forcefully.
"I got out of a cursed magical marriage contract" corrected Harry.
"Well it wasn't with Chang" said Dean with a smirk.
"I won't say. It was an accident, and her family'd not done anything. My godfather, Sirius Black, Lord Black, did a deal, and we went our separate ways."
"Who could it be?" asked Ron.
"Who would Harry even date?" asked Dean thoughtfully.
"Not a puff. Not after the tri-wizard fiasco" said Harry.
"How about a 'claw?" asked Seamus
"Ron make s good point there" said Harry. "They bully Luna, she's my friend."
Neville looked like he was going to say something, but waited.
"So Luna?" asked Dean.
Harry blinked "Luna's a friend. That'd be weird."
"Like Hermione" explained Ron.
"Yeah" said Harry.
"So, we're down to Fay, Lavender, Pavarti" said Seamus, starting to smirk.
Harry cut in "Neither Patil twin. Not after the yule ball fiasco."
Everyone except Ron and Harry looked smug at that point.
"Fay, Lavender, and …. the Slytherins, obviously not Pansy or Bulstrode." said Seamus.
"Harry couldn't date a Slimy snake" said Ron.
Dean snorted "So... Fay or Lavender."
"I respectfully decline" said Harry.
Neville snorted. "Has to be a Slytherin, and a well off one" he said.
Everyone sat up and stared at Neville.
"Okay, who are you and where did you hide Neville" asked Ron, picking up his wand and aiming at Neville.
"Hermione hit me with a fully body bind in first year when I tried to stop you three going after the stone" said Neville.
Ron put his wand down again. "He couldn't date a snake. He's a lion!"
"Who sneaks around the school the most?" asked Neville.
"Well, after the twins, Harry" admitted Ron.
"Who has the most secrets?" asked Neville.
Ron laughed "Harry by a landslide" Ron admitted.
"So you're saying Harry's a snake in lions clothing" said Dean, smirking.
"No, but he ignores Fay and dislikes Lavender, so that's the rest of our year" said Neville.
"Cradle snatcher" said Seamus smugly.
"And he's not Michael Corner" said Ron. Harry snorted.
"There are other fourth year girls" said Seamus.
"Compared to my sister?" said Ron, "They're all nothings."
Dean snorted at the oblique reference to Ginny's bra-size realtive to the other fourth years.
"So what Snakes are there" asked Seamus,
"Tracey Davis, Lily Moon, Daphne Greengrass" said Dean. "Hard choices."
"Come off it, Greengrass by a landslide." said Ron. "Apart from her always-pissed off face."
Neville snorted "She has the most money too" he laughed.
Harry blushed "Not going near her. Just No!"
"Come on, she's pretty when she's not looking like she wants us to all die" laughed Seamus. Dean and Neville nodded.
"He's blushing" said Dean "Must want to be bossed around by Greengrass."
"I think I may reconsider the Puffs" said Harry piously.
"The call of the quaffles" said Seamus, with a smile.
"Ahh Bones" said Dean. "She's a marvel."
Seamus snorted.
"D'ya think they' keep growing" asked Ron. "I ask purely out of curiosity."
"If Hermione hears this conversation, we'll all end up in the infirmary" said Harry.
"Should I tell Susan?" asked Seamus.
"You set us up" said Dean, laughing.
Seamus laughed.
-==0==-
The twins helped Harry out, and a day later, Seamus found himself talking in rhyme all day.
Harry Potter sat in the Gryffindor common room and wondered what to do about Hogsmeade. He definitely wanted to go. His trunk had no chocolate, for starters. Ron was um… sucking Lavender Browns face off.
Hermione, oddly seemed somehow affected by the sight and tended to rush out of the common room. Harry certainly was affected; he wanted to be sick.
Harry thought about going with just Hermione, but that was a bit… awkward. People would think they were dating or something. Ew. That's be like… kissing Hermione. And that was gross enough to make Harry wonder about going and brushing his teeth again.
He went and did that. Neville was combing his hair carefully.
"Um Nev, you going to Hogsmeade?" asked Harry.
"Yes" said Neville, then he sighed "I'm taking Hannah book shopping. It's going to be fun" he said nervously.
Harry realised Neville was … going on a date. Which is why his shy friend was combing his hair over and over again. Harry sighed. He needed a way out. Maybe Sirius would have an idea.
He got the talking mirror out of his trunk and closed his bed-curtains, and tapped the mirror "Padfoot!" he called.
The mirror fogged and cleared. Sirius Black peered into the mirror. "What?" he asked carefully "Are you engaged again?"
"I want to go to Hogsmeade but my best mate is sucking face" said Harry "And I take my other best friend, people will think we're dating and that's gross."
"I spent a fortune to make you not engaged" said Sirius, not quite jokingly "Just… colour charm your hair and eyes, take some eyesight eye-drops, take off your glasses and wear a charm your jacket blue. Nobody will recognise you."
"Eyesight eyedrops?" asked Harry.
"Go to Pomfrey, she's got them in case people break their glasses" said Sirius boredly. "Why you couldn't take some girl and definitely not be engaged by Christmas or you're getting coal."
Harry went and begged eyedrops from Madam Pomfrey, who sighed and charmed Harry's scar too.
Dudley Evansson, messy brown hair, blue eyes, no glasses or scar went to Hogsmeade in a blue jacket with a Hermione who was going to get eye-strain from rolling her eyes all the time.
Hermione avoided the Ron and Lavender show, walking quickly to Scrivenshafts for quills and ink and more parchment.
"It is disgusting" admitted Harry.
"Oh you're such a hypocrite" retorted Hermione "If you'd got a date with a girl you like you'd be all over her."
"I would not" protested Harry. "I'm probably never going on a date at Hogwarts."
"Bet you a sickle you do by the end of the year" said Hermione.
"Easy money for sweets on the train" replied Harry. "You're on."
"Cho Chang's single, you know" offered Hermione.
"We've been over this. The Ravenclaw girls bully Luna." explained Harry.
Hermione snorted "All of them? Sounds like someone's got a crush on Luna" she teased.
"God you're just a like a sister" protested Harry. "Utterly awful. Luna's a friend. Like my friend Hermione."
Ten minutes later, in the street just beside Zhonkos' they came across an orange table with an array of brightly coloured boxes, and a grinning Fred or George Weasley. "Hermione?" asked the twin "Fancy seeing you out with some boy?"
Harry rolled his eyes. Bloody twins.
"So we're selling our newest products." said the twin "Looks like Mister totally not Harry Potter could do with our latest chameleon comb and disguise glasses."
"What do they do then?" asked Harry, sure this was going to be humiliating.
"Well the comb" said the twin, brushing an ornamented hairbrush though their red hair; which was stripe at a time turning brown. After a few moments work he looked… a lot less Weasley.
"Has one setting for colour and another for style" they explained and with a twist of a knob and a tap of their wand; they combed their hair into a brown afro.
Hermione's lips pursed. Harry thought he saw tiny sparks in Hermiones' hair, which unless he imagined it was lifting slightly. Getting even bushier.
The twin took the brush, changed a setting and combed their afro to straight red hair.
"Probably doesn't work on his hair" said Hermione.
Dudley Evansson's messy brown hair straightened right out with a bit of brushing.
"Harry, buy it just for the hair-straightening" said Hermione "How much?"
"A galleon to you, two to Harry" said the twin. "We know he's loaded."
Colour-change glasses apparently with a turn of a tiny adjustment could do prescriptions like Harry's…. and change his eye-colour too. That knob was bigger, and looked like a decoration on the hinge.
Hermione looked on the brightly coloured box for the brush "They're six sickles" she said.
"We're not selling much, and you two are rich" said the twin unrepentantly.
Harry slapped down a galleon "Two combs, glasses and a skiving snackbox."
"Harry!" said Hermione "You can't set a bad example like that."
Harry combed his hair flat and pocketed the snackbox "I might need to leave class… for an important reason" he said.
Honeydukes was crowded, packed with students and Harry went for chocolate, while Hermione went for sugar quills and butterscotch toffee.
Harry wondered if Mr and Mrs Granger knew what their daughter got up to. Well obviously not, as she was still at school with Harry.
He bumped against Lavender Browns' back in the crush near the chocolate, thought there was no sign of Ron anywhere.
Lavender Brown turned around… and it wasn't Lavender Brown. It was Daphne Greengrass, with bigger curls than before, looking irritated "Oaf" she said grumpily "Who are you?"
"Dudley Evansson" said Harry, in as un-Harry a voice as he could. Greengrass already disliked him enough; she'd probably hex Harry Potter.
"Buy me chocolate" she said. "You oaf" she continued sharply.
Harry thought about that. One more bar. He was buying four already.
Harry wedged in past all the other greedy chocoholics and picked up five bars, all different.
"That had better be extra dark" said Greengrass.
"White for you" said Harry. Greengrass rolled her blue eyes.
Harry got nearly crushed to death getting to the counter, paid his five sickles and started painfully squeezing out of the store. Something grabbed his arm like a bramble. Harry turned in the crush. It was Greengrass's hand "My Chocolate" she said, eyes narrowed.
Harry kept slowly making his way out and finally left the store like a spat out appleseed.
Greengrass had kept a hand on his arm like a vice. There would be marks.
"Hand it over Evansson" said Greengrass, not letting go.
Harry spread the five bars out like playing cards in his hands.
Greengrass stole the white and the dark. "For trying to flee" she said "I've never seen you at school?"
"I don't go to Hogwarts" replied Harry "I was looking for my cousin, Hermione Granger."
"Granger?" said Greengrass bitterly "That big…. Achiever" she said.
Harry nodded "My cousin is very clever" he said mockingly.
Hermione got out looking totally frazzled, her hair a mess and with a very large package.
"H...hello" said Hermione awkwardly.
"Cousin" said Harry "I got the chocolate, but this Daphne Greengrass insisted I buy her chocolate."
"Granger, your cousin Dudley nearly knocked me to the ground" said Greengrass "He has no manners at all." The not-so-veiled implication being that Hermione also had no manners.
"Well we can't have that" said Hermione "Come on Dudley, you can buy Miss Greengrass a butterbeer and show you have some manners."
Harry glared momentarily at Hermione, who flashed a small, evil, grin.
Harry bought three butterbeers at the Three Broomsticks and brought the tray to a table where Greengrass was sitting as far from Hermione as possible.
"You two know each other?" asked Harry, determined to have some fun here.
"Granger is in many of my classes" said Greengrass "Your cousin comes second to me in many of them" she said proudly. Hermione sat up straighter and unconsciously mirrored her disdainful look. There was… a faint family resemblance now, Harry realised; the hair and something about the way they sat… or maybe that was just two young witches glaring at each other.
Harry handed out mugs of butterbeer. Everyone drank.
And Harry didn't smirk when Greengrass got a little moustache of foam. Hermione looked like she was going to burst for holding the giggle in, but her hair was going crazy from the press of people at Honeydukes.
Greengrass subtly rearranged her hair a tiny bit. Hermione glowered over her mug.
"Oh Hermione, you didn't tell me about this friendly rivalry?" asked Harry. Eat that sister.
"Oh it's just rivalry" replied Hermione. "I'm topping the harder subjects."
"Except Defence" said Greengrass snidely.
"Obviously" said Hermione.
The door to the Three Broomsticks opened and Draco Malfoy stepped in with Pansy hanging on his words.
"Bloody Malfoy" said Greengrass unexpectedly quietly.
"I hate that guy" said Hermione and flicked her wand at Greengrass, colour-changing her distinctive blonde hair to red. The effect was surreal. She suddenly looked like what Princess Weasley would look like if there were Weasley figurines, thought Harry. Greengrasses eyes narrowed, and her wand rose.
"He won't see you" said Hermione casually. "I've got my back to him, and he doesn't know Dudley. We can avoid him completely."
"Your hair is distinctive" said Greengrass almost politely.
"Yours is once it's bleached." observed Hermione. Harry didn't laugh. Not smiling was too hard. Neither girl knew they were cousins; and would be horrified, but seemed united in disliking Malfoy.
Who was, after looking around the room, headed to the bar.
"He looks wealthy" said Harry blandly.
"Money and tutors, so rich, so entitled" said Greengrass. Hermione looked like she was going to die of holding the snappy remark in.
"You seem quite well dressed Miss..." observed Harry.
"Well obviously, but that prat wants everyone to worship him. Having Potter around to beat him at Quidditch and Defence is almost worth having the-boy-who-lived in classes. Even though he's a lazy snob, too good for everyone but your cousin and the dumbest Weasley."
"A Lazy snob?" asked Harry curiously.
"He's phenomenal at Defence, but gets merely good marks overall. It's like he doesn't care about his career options" said Greengrass.
"I think he wants to be an Auror" said Hermione.
"Not with those potions grades, and no Runes without which, he's practically illiterate. I've heard he don't even speak French or German." said Greengrass candidly. It stung a bit, thought Harry.
Harry had another drink of butterbeer.
"Though Potter is rich, and Sirius Black's heir. He inherits a substantial fortune. I pity the witch who settles for him though." said Greengrass. "No ambition, terrible manners, and he used to wear the worst clothes to school. I heard from a friend he was doing it to dress like American muggle musicians, but he stopped that conceit at least."
Hermione looked quite stunned. Harry really wondered where Hogwarts rumours came from. Dressing like American musicians, aged eleven? What an absolute tosser he'd have to have been.
A voice in the back of his head said "And then only had two real friends for years..."
But it wasn't true. Harry wasn't a tosser, and certainly wasn't illiterate. Maybe unlike Hermione he didn't speak French but …
And Hermione started speaking French to Greengrass. Who spoke French back.
They talked, Greengrass relaxing a bit. Hermione having to think a little before talking.
Hermione pointed to the tray and made a dismissive gesture. Harry went and got three more butterbeers.
After ten minutes of conversing in French and sipping butterbeer, Greengrass excused herself.
"What was that?" asked Harry.
"Practising my French" said Hermione. "We discussed holidays we'd had in France. Greengrass doesn't ski. I quite enjoyed discussing my trips to Switzerland."
"Where'd she go?"
"The loo; she's had two butterbeers" said Hermione blandly. "Not everyone's a bottomless pit"
"You make a terrible cousin" said Harry. "You know I don't speak French."
"And that's what's so great" said Hermione. "Neither does anyone near us."
"I um… I need to try harder, don't I?" asked Harry.
"I've been telling you that for four years, and a pretty blonde says it and you're all ears" said Hermione sarcastically.
"Redhead" said Harry "A strange look on her."
"Well she's not really blonde either. Dark roots" said Hermione cattily. "You going to ask her out?"
"Daphne Greengrass is the last person I'd ask out, after You" said Harry forcefully, and realised he'd made a mistake.
Hermione looked interested "Oh I'm getting that story out of you" she said.
Greengrass reappeared with a tray with three wine-glasses of amber liquid "Ginger wine" she said "Some fish is coming"
"Thank you" said Hermione politely.
Ginger wine was nice, bitey, and the fish was just battered fish without chips.
-==0==-
A few weeks later Ron elbowed Harry over breakfast "Slytherin have lost loads of points" said Ron excitedly.
Harry looked over and the Slytherin hourglass was a lot lower than the day before.
"That's at least a hundred" said Hermione, sounding interested. "I wonder who did it?"
Ten minutes later, by the way Little Astoria Greengrass was shunned down to the end of the Slytherin table, it was clear the brown haired fourth year had done whatever it was. And she was sitting quite proudly.
"Spoilt little brat" said Ron.
"Oh come on" said Harry with a chuckle "By her age we'd lost Gryffindor tons of points. Though, you wonder. She's just some little girl."
"She's a typical Syltherin arsehole" offered Ginny "Thinks she's hot stuff with a wand."
"Greengrasses are like that" said Hermione , sounding a bit cross.
Daphne Greengrass came in and sat down next to her sister, and was clearly saying something a bit critical, waving her index finger at her little sister.
Astoria Greengrass made a quite rude gesture, and Daphne Greengrass's voice clearly said "I'll tell mother."
Ron snorted.
Harry patted Ron on the arm "Hey, Ron, imagine, hypothetically Ginny lost Gryffindor a lot of points."
"More likely to be you three" said Ginny "I don't get caught" she added proudly.
"Weasleys are all awful" said Hermione, with a grin.
""Oy!" said Ron.
Ginny looked affronted, and then smiled "See, she's like family." said Ginny.
"Imagine threatening to tell your mum about Ginny's boyfriend" said Harry "That'd be rough."
"Ron wouldn't" said Ginny "I'd hex him blind."
"Well there's that too" said Harry mildly.
At lunch Pavarti had gossip.
"Astoria Greengrass got caught flying a broom up the great stairwell" said Pavarti. "One hundred points."
Hermione looked thoughtful "She wasn't like this last year, though?"
"'Tori Greengrass has always been a bit sickly really" said Lavender candidly.
Harry turned to look at Lavender "Sickly?" he asked.
"Always having to go home early from parties, that sort of thing" said Lavender.
Ginny scoffed "Inbred cretin" she said "I could get up the whole great stairwell without getting caught."
Ron turned to Ginny "Flying inside, Gin, that's really dangerous. Walls are hard."
"My brother the genius" said Ginny dismissively.
A week later Ginny had a smirk "I won the inaugural Hogwarts indoor broom race" she said. "Beat Greengrass, and her big sister dragged her off. A bunch of wimps."
"Gin Gin Gin" said Fred, or maybe George "Was there betting on the race?"
"Er, no" said Ginny.
"Well, sister, we're thinking of expanding into sports betting" said the other twin.
Fred, George!" said Hermione "That could get someone expelled."
"Or worse, killed" said Ron "Which, by the way, Hermione is the right way around."
Harry high-fived Ron. Hermione looked a little put out by this.
"I" said Hermione grandly "Have a wager with Harry, a sickle that he's taking a date to Hogsmeade by the end of the year."
"Nah" said Fred "Betting on Harry being a sad git is where the odds are."
"Thanks mates" said Harry.
"He's gone though puberty, He's going to be dating by the end of the year" said Hermione.