"And then after we finished that exercise, you know what he said?" Midoriya asks Dr. Shinbyou rhetorically, a subtle smile on her face as she "watches" him recount what happened in their hero class today. She can tell he's positively beaming, and it reminds her why she loves her job so much. "I asked him if we should take a break and he said, 'Not on your life! Bring it on! What's next?' He's so cool!" He pumps a fist up and down rapidly.
"Is that so?" she asks back rhetorically.
"Even when he looks tired, he just keeps pushing himself. He makes me want to work that hard too. Even if I'm a little jealous of him right now, it's still fun to just watch him. I feel like… maybe that's the most fun I've had since I got turned into this." He turns a little somber, but again, she admires his self-awareness. "I've always loved watching heroes. They've always inspired me, and that includes Kacchan. He's always been hero-like. Ah, sorry, I already said that, didn't I?"
"It's fine. Your passion is infectious."
He scratches his head shyly and chuckles a bit.
Seeing as she's gotten him very comfortable, she decides to conduct a little test and push him a tad more. "Do you also realize you've spent the last 20 minutes talking about him?"
He looks up at her. "Eh?" And she feels the aura around him drastically change fast and furiously. She can practically hear his heart beating out of his chest as embarrassment and panic ooze out of him. He fumbles with his words. "O-Ohh. H-Have I? I… Th-That's not… I didn't… mean to…" He immediately realizes he's been caught red-handed, or rather, red-faced.
She grins playfully. "Ohhh, I see."
"I-It's nothing! It's not what you think or anything!" He waves his hands around in denial.
"Oh? And what do I think?"
Realizing there's no way out of this, he slams his hands into his lap and grips his skirt as he pouts at the floor. She listens as he starts to mumble incoherently to himself, something about how "Kacchan is cool but we're both guys, and I like someone else." "It would never work out." "He doesn't see me that way." So on and so forth.
"Midoriya-kun, we only have a few minutes left. I want to hear how you feel."
He stops for a moment, then sags a bit into his chair. "I… I like Kacchan," he admits as if the mere thought depresses him. "But… I don't like it. It doesn't make any sense. I have someone else I like, a girl, and when I turn back to normal, I want to be with her. Even if I never go back to normal, I'll still do everything I can to make her happy. So feeling this way about anyone else… it's not right. I… I don't want to feel this way about anyone else. So…" He steadily looks up at her with fear in his eyes, and she can sense just how much he's been agonizing over this issue. "Do you know…? Is there any way to stop this?"
Again, she seems to be staring deep into his soul when she asks, "Are you sure that's what you want?"
And for the first time, he's not sure. Something in him feels lost, and she feels it too as he trembles. He's not sure what to feel. He loves Uraraka. That's how he really feels. But he also loves Kacchan. That's also how he really feels. And to a much lesser extent, he's felt those feelings towards Todoroki and Rose Omoda. But it's… it's all too much. He's caught in such a tangled knot of emotions, he can't begin to figure out how to unravel it.
"That's enough for today," the doctor says in a very final tone.
He focuses on her again. "Eh? But… We didn't…"
"No, this is fine. This will give you something to think about before your next appointment. Think about how you really feel about the people who are special to you. And remember, no matter what your feelings are, they will always be accepted here."
He wants to believe her. He really does, but because he's still so uncertain he asks, "E… Even if there's… more than just two people… I like?"
She smiles consolingly at the child, then dreamily hums a bit to herself before replying, "Love is a wonderful thing. And for you to love so many people means that your heart is big enough to love them all."
He'd never thought about it that way, and again, he feels like crying. "You don't think… it's selfish?" he asks, his lips wobbling.
"…I don't think you are selfish, Izuku Midoriya." Knowing what she knows now about this child, she knows that the true source of his pain is balancing his own desires with the wants and needs of others. She knows that he deeply wants others, especially those he loves, to be happy, even at the sacrifice of himself. But only recently did he realize that sacrificing himself would only make the people he loves very unhappy. So now, as he attempts to find the right balance, what he really needs is… "I think you have so much love to give and that anyone you love is truly blessed to receive it. You'll be able to make someone very happy someday."
Just like that, she has him in tears again.
And soon, they wrap up their session, and Midoriya leaves with puffy eyes and a new outlook on the things that haunted him. He still doesn't like being in love with multiple people, knowing that he can only choose one in the end, but if loving at least one of them, any of them, could potentially make that person's life better, then… it only motivates him even more to figure out the truth, once and for all.
Starting with the first person nearby who's so important to him, they can't possibly be overlooked. Before heading home, he knocks on the door to the teacher's lounge and enters to speak with them.
"So, what's on your mind, kid?" All Might asks as the two sit down alone in the usual room. To be honest, he had been working on some pretty important paperwork, but when the kid comes in with that look on her face and red, puffy, but definitely determined eyes, he can't bear to turn her away.
"Sorry. I know you were probably in the middle of something more important…"
"…Weren't you the one who said you wouldn't apologize anymore?"
"Ah. Y-You're right. Um, thank you for talking to me even though you're busy."
"…Don't be a stranger, kid. All of us teachers are here to help our students."
"Um, yeah… About that… I went to my first therapy session today."
"Good. Congratulations. I'm glad you took your first step."
Her ears perk up at that phrasing. "First step? To… To what?"
He cocks his head questioningly. "To recovery, of course."
"…Yeah. Yes, but recovery to what?"
He struggles to figure out what she's getting at. "To… your old self, I suppose. Although, it's all up to you what you think a full recovery looks like."
"All Might…" Her sudden seriousness (even more than usual) catches him off guard. Her hands are clutched in her lap, and she stares down at them, avoiding his eyes. "If… If I couldn't use One for All anymore, at least not until after high school, because of this body… what would you do?" She realizes how disrespectful it is for her to question him like this, as if the former #1 hero actually owes her a response. After all, he didn't need to explain himself to her in order for her to trust him. She believed she could rightly guess what he wanted and what he would do or say in different situations… but having just been proved wrong during her therapy session, she couldn't keep herself from just asking. She had to know, had to be sure.
"What would I do? About One for All, you mean? Kid, it's yours. You do whatever you see fit." His answer sounded a bit dismissive to her, as if it were none of his business.
Sure enough, the answer confuses her, and it shows on her face as she finally looks up at him. "But—! But what if I could never use it again? I've been training for a while now, but I don't really feel like I've gotten any stronger…"
"It's only been a few weeks. Your body probably gains muscle differently than it did before, so you just have to be patient."
"But… the way I fight is just like you, so what if I never get strong enough to use it like that again?"
"Hmm, are you saying you can't do any other fighting style?"
"All Might! What if I—?!" She doesn't want to say it, but here goes nothing. "What if I give up and give it to someone else?"
Finally, he looks a little taken aback, staring at her with shocked eyes. But then he relaxes again, and asks solemnly, "Is that what you want?" He's been trying to figure out where she's going with all these questions, and that's the only answer he could come to. If Izuku Midoriya never returns back to her old body and simply can't use One for All the way she used to, does she want to give up completely? The kid didn't seem like the type to do something like that, but with everything that's happened in the past few weeks, sometimes he's just not sure he really knows her anymore.
But then she blurts, "No! Of course not!" The franticness of her face and tone speak volumes, and it fills him with relief. "It's just… I… If I don't change back… I don't think I can be as good a hero as you. I don't know what your predecessor was like, but… you were the greatest hero. I want to be like you. This body, it just… It isn't enough."
He can see the dejection on her face, and as much as he wants to blurt out that obviously he doesn't have to become just another version of him, he knows he has to tiptoe. "Is being a hero no good if you can't be like me? Is that what's driven you this far?"
"No… It's not that either. I want to be a hero. I want to help someone. If I can save even just one more person, then it doesn't matter how I do it." He can see in her eyes she's telling the truth. But then she looks down again, sagging. "…But if I can't use One for All at it's full capacity, wouldn't it be better to give it to someone else who can? …Even if it means I can never be a hero again?"
All Might, despite knowing it's inappropriate in this situation, swells with pride. As always, the kid is thinking about others more than herself, thinking about the greater good and the best possible role she can play in it. It's that constant effort that makes him trust her, which is why he repeats, "Like I said, you do whatever you feel is best. If that's the path you want to take, I won't persuade you otherwise."
Faintly, he feels an air of frustration come over her, coupled with some anger on her face that he can see even while it's turned down. "But why? How can you be so nonchalant about this?" Her tone is severe, almost accusatory.
He continues to speak calmly. "…You're my successor. I chose you for a reason. Because I knew One for All would be safe in your hands, regardless of what you chose to do with it."
"All Might… If you're just saying that to make me feel better, I'll seriously get angry." She already looks angry, he notes.
But he understands how she feels. "I'm not. One for All is yours now. When I handed it over, I also handed over the right to decide what to do with it. That was the risk I had to take when I gave it to you in the first place, and the same criteria would've applied to anyone else I chose. The reason you have it now is because I trust you with it."
Finally, her anger subsides. She slowly looks up at him. "But… But what if I'm not good enough? What if you chose wrong?"
From the lost, sorrowful look on her face, he can tell they've gotten to the heart of the matter. "I didn't," he blurts, looking straight into Midoriya's eyes.
It takes him a second to realize he said something very uncharacteristic of himself. Normally he likes to leave room for doubt, but for some reason, that answer just came to him. And he might've settled for that if he didn't think it would make the kid feel worse. He knew she was expecting something more carefully thought out, more logical.
He hastily continues, "And even if I did, that would be my fault, kid, not yours."
But despite his attempts, she looks upset again, "But how can you say that? If I make a mistake, then it's my fault! It's my fault… I got turned into this…"
Knowing he's going to get some backlash from her, he still replies, "No, it's not, kid. Everyone understands this didn't just happen out of nowhere. Someone did this to you, and whoever it is, it's their fault, not yours."
"…But if you were in my shoes, would you really feel that way?"
No… He wouldn't. She's got him there, and he knows it. If it had happened to him, he absolutely would've blamed himself for being careless. She knows that too, which is why she refuses to let him off the hook for saying otherwise. He knows he can't get away with doing something and then telling her not to do the same thing, so he silently curses himself.
She continues, "I… I'm always thinking about what you would do in my position, what the right thing to do would be. That's why I know I can't blame anyone else. Thinking about what you would do…" Her shoulders relax a bit. "It makes me feel like I'm on the right path… But I didn't even consider what I would do if something like this happened. I mean, who would know what to do in this situation, right? That's why I just kept trying. Everything. As hard as I could. But… I want to hear it from you. Tell me… All might…" Her eyes line with tears as she looks up at him. "Am I… still on the right path?"
His heart breaks a little. And all of the sudden, he feels a rush of guilt. He's starting to understand now, what the real problem is, what he did wrong. His hopes for her, and possibly his expectations, were crushing her. Slowly but surely, now that she feels incapable of fulfilling those expectations, they're starting to destroy her. And if that was the true cause of her breakdown recently, not simply the stress of losing his abilities or trauma from "the incident" or anything young Bakugo did to her, but perhaps a combination of these compounded by this overwhelming pressure, then…
He sighs heavily. "…Kid, do you remember the promise I made to your mother?" She blinks at the fact that he answered a question with a question, and taking her dumbfounded silence as an answer, he continues, "I promised I would raise you up right so that you wouldn't meet the same fate as me, so that you wouldn't walk the same path. And now you're assuming the path I would walk in your situation is the right one?"
She thinks for just a moment about what he's saying before she blurts, "But… But even if it wasn't the 'right' path, you still became—"
"This," he interrupts in a very final tone. "…I became this, kid. Look at me. Is this really what you want to become?"
"…N-No, but…"
"I promised your mother I would help you find your own path! And even now, I've continued to fail her!" With "the incident" and Midoriya's more recent breakdown, he could barely show his face to her let alone apologize enough. "Kid, if what you're going through is at all related to your commitment to One for All, then I want you to know this much: do whatever it takes to come home safely to your mother and to the people who care about you, even if it means you pass on the power to someone else."
Midoriya's eyes widen in complete shock.
"I'll still do whatever I can to help the person you pass it on to, and I suspect you'll do the same, but I need you to understand…" She can hear his tone growing desperate. "As a hero, I can't allow one young life to be crushed by this responsibility. I won't allow it. If… If you became the one person right in front of me that I couldn't save, the only one, then…"
From the look in his eyes alone, she can tell what he wants to say, that even in his long career of saving countless victims, never failing to save someone once he arrived on the scene, if she became the one person he couldn't save… then he's a failure as a hero. End of story. And honestly, it makes her… happy. Because if she were in his shoes, she'd feel exactly the same way. Watching someone suffer and struggle with such a huge responsibility on their backs… Of course Midoriya wouldn't want to watch someone go through that! Of course she would tell them not to be reckless, to take care of themselves more, to ask for help! How could she not see it earlier?
Kacchan, what he said to her, was one thing. He told her not to underestimate herself, that if she wants to be helpful, she's fully capable of that without being a traditional hero. It may not be what she was hoping for, but she's certainly not useless. He told her not to be so hard on herself because she's worth more than she thinks, even without her powers. But this… What All Might's saying is a bit different. He's telling her that regardless of what she's capable of right now, she shouldn't put so much pressure on herself to achieve something… because a real hero wouldn't encourage her to destroy herself over a commitment to him.
Dr. Shinbyou had been right. Midoriya herself was the one who put that expectation on her own shoulders, not All Might. And upon realizing that, the relief and joy that wash over her is accompanied by a twinge of guilt. Part of her still wants to deny it, that it's okay to be this happy having that weight lifted off of her. But still, she can't help smiling. Without planning it, she got exactly what she wanted. Her mentor and role model is still, no matter what, the man she looks up to. He's not wrong to forgive her if she fails, and she's not wrong to want to follow his example.
Just like that, she knows she's on the right path again.
