I lunged to my left as my opponent attempted to punch me. He landed on his hand swinging his body to kick my side which I barely had enough time to dodge. He was quick on his feet able to land a hit to my back causing me to fly forward hitting a nearby tree. I could see him flipping backwards creating some distance between us followed by weaving hand signs.
"Lightning style: Lightning bolt technique!" He shouted as he held out his arms.
Sparks started to erupt from his fingertips turning into bolts of electricity shooting towards me still attached to his digits. The five bolts came soaring towards me making my eyes widen. He maneuvered them to scatter making it harder to dodge them all meaning I'd be hit. I took a glance at Hikaru seeing how his fight was going then focused back to my fight weaving signs.
"Earth style: Rock Shield!" I shouted slamming my hands to the ground pouring in more chakra so the wall would surround me. While I was hidden, I made a clone making her take my place while I made another set of signs. "Earth style: Military Movement." I said as I sank into the ground appearing behind a tree watching the fight from afar.
My clone jumped out from the shield once his jutsu was done and engaged him in taijutsu. His speed matched hers making them evenly matched. I focused on Hikaru's fight with my opponent's partner seeing his was able to hold his own except when she figured out taijutsu was his weakness.
I was tempted to help, worried about his safety, but I had my own battle to focus on. I was too distracted by Hikaru to notice my opponent had defeated my clone and was now running towards me. When I realized this, he had already kicked my side. I slid on the ground quickly getting to my feet and caught the man's fist. I slid under him placing a hand on the ground then flipped up to my feet facing him.
I held my arms close as I hovered my hands over my summoning tattoos putting chakra into them summoning shuriken and kunai. I threw them simultaneously at the man, but he only smirked giving me a bad feeling.
"Lightning Release: Static Force!" He shouted and held out his arms.
My weapons suddenly stopped in midair before turning around flying towards me. I gasped looking for a way to dodge them but they were already too close to me. I let out a scream when they came in contact with my skin causing me to fall onto my knees in pain. I was thankful that they didn't hit any vital points and that a few only scraped my neck. I saw him making lightning clones all walking towards me; six in total.
I struggled to stand but once I did, the clones had already surrounded me. I looked over at the original who had a smile plastered on his face before making a single hand sign. Suddenly, the clones burst into electricity all shooting towards me. I tried to make a hand sign in time but I was already hit and on the ground shaking violently from the shock. The lightning was intense and I was slowly coming in and out of consciousness. I was able to see Hikaru running towards me and that the man turned towards him before blacking out.
I don't know how long I was out for but when I came to, Hikaru was on the ground holding his now bloodied arm. My body was screaming in pain when I tried to move making me stay put but I had to help him. I could see he was tired and that he was desperate at this point. He looked exhausted most likely from his previous battle and now this one. I tried once more as I watched the man approach Hikaru but my body protested once more. I tried to make hand signs but my body wasn't responding correctly making it impossible. I only had one more option left but I never wanted Hikaru to see what I was going to do.
I took a deep breath as my arm began to sting. The snakes once again slithered up my arm and traveled their way across my body making my porcelain skin turn into scales. The pain I once felt was now gone making me able to move once more. The power I was feeling from the mark felt like Father's making me wickedly smile. I looked over at the enemy and Hikaru who just noticed my chakra spike most likely noticing how darker it had become. The wind started to pick up as dark chakra surrounded me just as it did with Sasuke in the Chuunin Exams.
My eyes narrowed at the man making me hiss as my anger spiked. My mind was on one thing, killing that man. His eyes widened with fear while Hikaru crawled out of my way towards the side knowing I had a murderous intent. I noticed he quickly made a clone sending it into the brush.
"Lightning style: Electric Snake Technique!" He shouted then knelt down putting his hands to the ground.
Electricity flowed from his hands to the ground coming towards me but I disappeared reappearing behind him kicking him forwards landing in his own attack. He cried out in pain but quickly recovered knowing there was no time to rest. I made my own signs kneeling to the ground and unhinging my jaw as snakes slithered out all heading towards the man. He weaved more signs shooting electricity towards the snakes. Once one was hit, it was a chain reaction. Within seconds they were all burnt to a crisp but I wasn't finished yet.
I made another series of seals releasing a certain gas that was invisible to the naked eye making it surround my opponent. His clone finally came out from hiding with a blade of lightning extending from his hand and sliced at my abdomen attempting to cut me in half. I saw the original smiling with victory but snakes emerged from my lower half pushing my upper half away and soon the snakes formed into my once missing lower body.
"Thank you Father for teaching me that technique," I thought as I jumped into the air making more signs.
"Fire style: Flame Killing Boundaries!" I shouted as I brought my fingers to my lips spewing out fire towards the man which he barely dodged but thanks to the gas I released earlier, an explosion was heard sending him flying back into the forest. With my last flame, I aimed for his partner who fought Hikaru.
"I noticed she was standing still staring into space. "He must've put her in a genjutsu when helping me, must be a powerful one."
I could hear her blood curdling scream as the flames engulfed her body. In a flash the man was next to me punching me in the stomach sending me back. I braced myself for impact but I collided with flesh followed by arms wrapping around me.
"Someone's a bit distracted," he laughed gripping me tighter. "You put up a good fight but I'm ending this now." He flicked his wrist making a blade come out of his sleeve drawing it closer to my neck.
His chest moved as he laughed even more thinking he'd won. I heard Hikaru call out to me but I only smirked in response. I was thankful for being in this curse mode for I'd be feeling pain right now as my bones shot from my skin impaling the enemy. He immediately released me screaming in pain. I laughed in response seeing him look up at me with fear in his eyes.
"You're a freak!" He shouted as he hunched over in pain.
I only laughed more in response this time sounding more like Father's. I jumped back as I weaved more signs. "Wind style: Barrage Tornado!" I shouted once I landed in front of Hikaru who only looked up at me with widened eyes.
As he attempted to dodge the tornadoes, I weaved more signs creating a fireball sending it towards the cyclones. I looped an arm around Hikaru's chest jumping with him to get out of the way getting him to a safer place. The trees surrounding the area were either ripped from the ground or were set ablaze.
"K-ko," Hikaru stuttered as he looked up at me but I kept my head forward watching as my tornadoes started to die down.
It was silent for a moment but I was still skeptical. Suddenly, a huge fire dragon emerged from the flaming forest heading towards us both.
"He must be desperate; he was low on chakra before." I thought as weaved hand signs and put a hand on Hikaru's shoulder.
We started to sink into the ground avoiding the attack and appearing to the left of the forest. I could see the man walking out of the trees with singed clothes along with his skin. It was a horrifying sight seeing the burnt flesh on his body but his suffering was about to be over. He quickly turned to face us as I reached for my sword. Using as much chakra as I could, I poured it into my blade making it glow. He started to run towards us but stopped when he eyed my blade.
"Wind style: Slicing Blade!" I shouted swinging my arm down.
The sword let out a piercing sound as it released the wind hitting the man extinguishing the flames in the process. He was still for a moment but soon fell to the ground split in half making the smile on my face widen even more. Within a few seconds, I could feel the bloodlust dying down and started to feel weaker. The curse mark soon receded leaving me feeling drained causing me to fall to my knees. Pain erupted throughout my body making me groan.
I looked over at Hikaru who was now lying on his back with a puddle of blood surrounding his lower body. I gasped assuming the worst but calmed down as I looked up at the number above his head seeing it slowly go down.
"Good, he still has time," I thought feeling relieved.
I deactivated my eyes and reached up touching my necklace releasing the chakra stored inside. With my chakra replenished, I crawled over towards Hikaru hovering my hands over his leg. I could see that it was at a weird angle so he must've broken it during battle. The bone was still in his body but there was also a large gash going down to his ankle. I looked up at him seeing he had passed out most likely from blood loss. I looked over the rest of his injuries seeing they were only minor wounds besides his arm.
Once I finished with his injuries, I looked over my own wounds healing them quickly. I picked up Hikaru putting him over my shoulder carrying him a few miles away towards a rock formation. I leaned him up against the rock quickly finding a stream washing the blood and debris from my body before filling up my canteen. I was only gone for a half an hour and returned to see Hikaru was awake staring at me as I approached.
"Hey," he greeted with a soft tone before looking away.
"How are you feeling?" I asked holding out the canteen for him which he gladly took.
"Fine, it's a good thing you're a healer huh? I'd probably be dead by now." He said with a light chuckle. I knew what he saw had scared him but he was trying to play it off as if nothing has changed.
"I'm sorry," I said which made his head turn towards me.
"Sorry for what?"
"For seeing me like that, I know I'm a monster."
"You're no monster Ko, you were protecting yourself and me." He said with a smile.
I was also sorry for something else but didn't want to say it out loud. He's been trying to change me but I'm still the same. Killing those two, it felt so good to do. Part of me wished they were still alive so I could kill them again. It was silent between us for a while as I lit the fire. The sun was starting to set and the air was starting to get colder making me scoot more towards the flame.
"Your Father was important to you right? What was your perception of him? The whole world has the same opinion but I want to hear it from the person he raised." He questioned out of the blue which surprised me.
I looked over at Hikaru surprised by his question. No one has ever asked me my opinion about my own Father before. I looked into his matching red eyes only seeing curiosity; it didn't seem like a trick. "Why do you ask?" I questioned raising a brow.
"Well he had to of meant a lot if you gave up on living because of him."
I knew he was only curious but I still wondered why he wanted me to answer his question. I thought about Father and the life he gave me throughout the years. "Despite what everyone says about my father, he strictly followed the shinobi code. He never showed emotion, never got attached to anyone..." I trailed off feeling a sting in my chest, I'd always feel like this when thinking of him.
"Even you?" Hikaru interrupted making me irritated.
"Yes even to me idiot." I snapped. "Anyway, he never showed emotion, put the mission first, he was always one step ahead of everyone, and never showed weakness even when he was in need of another vessel. I could feel how weak he was but on the outside, he looked strong as ever. I know he had a twisted mind but I can see he wanted to improve the shinobi DNA. If he approached it a different way such as experimenting on dead bodies and criminals instead of children and innocent people, maybe everyone would've looked the other way. I don't think he was the type of person to be a father, but he wanted me to be a powerful shinobi, not a daughter. I wish things were different, but I didn't have a choice in my life." I explained truthfully fighting back the tears.
My heart ached as I was talking about Father unable to get his corpse lying on that slab out of my mind. I missed him, I missed everything about him. For the past month I would wake up wishing that it were all a dream and I would wake up one day to him giving me a mission or wanting me to train but every day I woke up to Hikaru's smiling face. Hikaru must've noticed my quivering lips and moved closer to me putting his hand on mine. My body stiffened at his touch but I was able to relax after a few minutes starting to feel comforted by his touch.
"What's wrong?" He questioned with a concerned voice.
"It's nothing," I replied looking away.
"Come on, what is it with you and me touching you? I can see you're scared but I can't figure out why."
"How would you know that I'm scared?"
"Because I can see it in your eyes. Let me in Ko, we've been traveling together for over a two months now and I still haven't brought out the Himura in you. You're still acting like your Father's puppet and that's not who you are. You're suppose to be a strong, confident, stubborn, independent Himura."
"Who says I'm not?"
"Me, I've lived with Himura's and you act nothing like them." He held out his hand waiting for mine which I hesitantly took. "Let me in Ko, there's this mental block somewhere and it's preventing you from being the strong shinobi you're suppose to be. How can you defeat the Akatsuki if you couldn't even defeat that Bounty Hunter?"
He was right, before Father died, I was strong but everything changed since his death. I felt him put a hand on my head which I did in return making the connection. I closed my eyes finding myself next to Hikaru in my mind.
"Can you show me what haunts your dreams?" He questioned making me hesitant.
"Do I have to?" I questioned starting to feel fear creep in.
"Fear blocks your connection,"
"What do you mean?"
"Your fear is what blocks you from spiritually connecting to yourself."
I took a deep breath then suddenly we were in the shack Father kept me in during my first few years of life. I saw my younger self facing Father who was in his Akatsuki cloak standing near the door.
"When will I be stronger?" My younger voice echoed through the small room.
"In a few years." Father answered taking a few more steps towards the door.
"I'll be looking forward to it then."
"Well I must be going; they will be wondering where I am."
The young girl looked down at the ground as he turned to leave. I could see the tears forming in her eyes but quickly blinked them away before looking back up.
"But you just got back." She whispered inaudibly.
He didn't say anything. All he did was turn away from her and head out the door back to where he came from leaving my young self all alone. I could still feel the sadness that overwhelmed me all those years ago.
The scene switched once more back to the Sound Hideout in Father's office. My past self was kneeling before Father waiting for orders.
"I have a mission for you," He hissed.
"What about my test?"
"Tayuya was your test."
"Who am I with?" She questioned.
"It's a solo mission. It'll take a few years."
I remember feeling shocked but also saddened that once again I'd be separated from Father. After many years of barely seeing him we were finally together but of course, he was sending me away.
"Years? I've never been away for more than a week."
"I know, but you're the only one who I trust for this mission."
"What's the mission?"
As she looked up at his face she saw the hunger for power in his eyes. His lips curled into a sadistic smile.
"You are to go to Konoha for a few years studying their shinobi. You will become a genin there and become friends with Sasuke Uchiha. I will see you in the chuunin exams but not to retrieve you until I get Sasuke. Kabuto is a member of Konoha and will be around if you need anything and that's how you will stay in contact with me."
"So this is all to recruit Sasuke Uchiha? Itachi's little brother?"
"Yes, once I get him, I will plant his eyes into yours giving you the Sharingan."
"So this is for me?"
"Of course my dear, all of this is for you."
The scene switched again and now we were at the Northern Hideout. I was standing next to Sasuke with Jugo in front of us.
"Jugo," Father spoke, "Ko will be in charge of you for the time being." He said making my head turn towards him. "She is in charge of the hideout now...you will have a familiar face taking care of you."
Jugo nodded then turned around going back to the other side of his cell.
"Lord Orochimaru, what do you mean by I'm staying here?" She questioned.
To this day, I still wish he was only kidding and took me with him.
"You heard me," he said turning away and proceeded to walk back to the entrance. "You will be guarding the hideout while I'm away. The previous guard was the one that is dying up ahead. I need someone who I can trust and can defend this hideout; you are the perfect person." He explained which I remember made me happy that he trusted me with this responsibility but was sad knowing he is abandoning me once again.
"What about my training?" She questioned.
"The destruction of the Sound was proof that you no longer need my assistance, I don't believe you needed my instruction to begin with."
"I accept this mission," she stated staring up at Father.
"Excellent, I will be back with a replacement when I'm heading this way again." He said as he stepped over the now dead body on the ground. "These prisoners are test subjects of the cursed seal, do not let your guard down. I will communicate with you by using our snake summoning." He opened the door letting Kabuto and Sasuke step out. "Farewell, we'll be in touch." He said before closing the door.
She ran down the halls up the stairs where she had seen windows before. When she got to the window, she watched as the three figures ran further and further away until they disappeared.
Everything faded once more surrounding us in darkness.
"Abandonment issues huh?" Hikaru commented making me nod in response. "I think you also feel like you never got to spend time with your father and now he's gone forever."
"I guess so," I replied wiping the tears away.
"Alright Ko, you're what eighteen now?"
"I'll be nineteen in a few months," I corrected knowing we were only a few months away from May.
"Whatever, you don't need your father anymore. Most kids grow up without parents and manage to hold their own in this world. You may have lost a father but you did gain a friend." He said putting an arm around my shoulder. "Now about the abandonment issues. Your Father didn't act like a Father at all, he was more of a sensei or mentor and was in and out of your life all the time. During that time he was away, you did make new relationships right? You said that Kabuto character kept you company when you were young, when he sent you away to the village you met so many different people, when he sent you to that hideout you had someone there you knew right? You always had someone with you Ko. Now that he's gone, you have me."
I processed his words thinking everything over coming to the conclusion that he was right. Father wasn't anything close to what a dad should be. I had always thought my relationship with him was normal but once I was in the Leaf, I realized how wrong I was. Seeing the children in my class jump into their Father's arms telling them all about their day and seeing the affection they'd receive, I realized something wasn't right between Father and I. It might've been the reason why he didn't want me to call him father.
The darkness disappeared going back to that small shack.
"Whatever it takes to be like you Father,"
"Another thing don't call me Father anymore...it shows affection."
"Then what shall I call you?"
"Orochimaru-sama or Lord Orochimaru, it shows respect."
"Yes Orochimaru-sama."
"Good girl Ko."
"See Ko," Hikaru spoke up as we watched the scene. "He was never your Father, he stated that from the very beginning." He said breaking the connection bringing us back to reality.
I could feel the tears rolling down my cheeks; he was right. Orochimaru was never a father to me. He used me as a weapon never caring about how I was doing or if I was even alive. I was a failed experiment and he kept me around to keep him alive which I couldn't even do. Though, reviving him shouldn't be my only purpose, everyone else had different purposes in their lives so maybe I have a different one as well. I looked up at Hikaru grabbing his hand putting it back on my head.
"There's one more fear I have to show you," I told him making him show a shocked expression.
"O-okay,"
I was ready to face this, I couldn't let this haunt me the rest of my life. We appeared in the darkness once again but this time we were in a memory, not floating in space.
"Stop!" A voice cried out. "Someone help!" A laugh soon followed.
"You're so cute when you're helpless." A male's voice rang through the air making me shiver at the memory.
A scream was heard followed by fabric hitting the floor. I looked over at Hikaru who activated his eyes to see what was going on. I didn't need to see his face to know what expression he had. He was shocked and repulsed itching to intervene.
"So beautiful, you know, I do love leaving something behind so my sweet women have something to remember me by." The male said followed by the metallic scent filling the air as my scream echoed through the halls.
"There, now every time you look in the mirror, you'll think of me." He sang.
Sobs were heard making myself cry once more as I relived this hell.
"No, I will never be this weak again." I thought as I clenched my fists. "This man is gone and will never hurt me again." I activated my eyes viewing the memory feeling my confidence build.
"Such a fighter you are Ko. If you were a good girl, you wouldn't have gotten stabbed so many times. It hurts me to hurt you sweetheart but you must learn your place. Oh I see your body is excited. Let's see how long and how much it'll take to break a ninja."
"No please stop! Stop this!" Past Ko pleaded.
I took out my own kunai throwing it at the man stopping the memory in its tracks making us float in the void.
"I will never let a man put me in that situation ever again. I'd rather die than be taken advantage of!" I shouted making the dark void change colors alternating from red to blue to green finally ending with white. "Woah, what happened?" I questioned turning towards Hikaru.
"Exactly what was suppose to happen. In your head when you're surrounded by darkness, you have issues you have to overcome eventually turning white when you accepted your past completely and now you can move on and be the Himura you were born to be."
The connection broke again but as soon as I was back to reality, Hikaru turned pulling me into a tight hug. I was stunned for a moment but soon reciprocated wrapping my arms around his torso.
"I'm so sorry Ko, I didn't know." He said softly rubbing my back.
"I-I didn't want you to but I had to face it." I admitted feeling nervous.
"You're shaking, are you okay?" He questioned breaking the hug but still held my shoulders.
"Y-yeah," I answered feeling a bit shaken up from the memory.
"Hey you're going to be okay, that memory is just that, a memory. He can't hurt you anymore, only you can control what kind of hold he has on you. You were scared because of that situation but now, you'll be stronger than ever."
He was right, my memories where only memories. Things that happened in the past and can't be changed. I've betrayed my comrades, killed many shinobi and innocent lives for father and I can't change anything. Their death is unfortunate but it can't be helped, I can only ask for forgiveness. I won't repeat past mistakes, I can't if I want to figure out what I'm suppose to do now. Itachi said my purpose had to do with the Akatsuki, I will run into them again but I can't let them manipulate me. I have to be stronger than them and use them to my advantage.