Regina rode hard, with a wave of her hand, she had transformed the red dress she had been wearing into clothes fit for riding and most definitely not fit for a Queen, but at that moment, she did not care.
Rumpelstiltskin's words would not leave her alone ever since the moment he had disappeared in a cloud of dark smoke. As soon as he had, she had mounted Rocinante and made her hasty way back to her castle.
Love is weakness indeed, he had laughed at her face, mocked her.
Regina felt her heart grow cold as ice with fear and insecurity.
It could not be true, she told herself.
The imp was clearly trying to get to her, trying to make her feel weak again.
She knew she was not capable of nurturing tender feelings for anybody, aside from father, of course, but even with him, she was harsh and unkind. The Regina who had once loved was dead, what was left was incapable of love, that ability had been taken away from her little by little, year after year, ten years being married to Leopold had done the trick. The overwhelming privation of freedom, the lack of being able to say what she wanted, and having to play house with Snow – the one responsible for all this – plus the hole her one true love Daniel had left in her heart, had destroyed her.
The King had caged her and Rumpelstiltskin had taught her tricks, Regina had been but an act for so long, in the process, she felt as if she lost her soul little by little.
Regina urged Rocinante to go faster, feeling the wind of late autumn on her face as the exchange between her and the unnerving imp would not leave her be.
You and that pickpocket don't fool me for a second, he had said.
But what did he know? He knew nothing of her, nothing of Robin and how could he-
Gods, Robin.
She saw his silhouette at a distance but somehow knew it was him, she could feel their connection from a distance. She kicked Rocinante's side and trotted towards him, to the sight that seemed unreal and yet, with every blink of her eyes, would not go away. When she reached him, she quickly dismounted her horse; her eyes went wide at the sight.
If Regina's heart had been ice cold with apprehension because of her confrontation with the imp, it stopped all together when she took in the scene before her.
Robin was unconscious, his back slouched against a tree trunk, his lips chalky and his complexion pale, in his grasp, a bottle containing very little amber liquid, Regina quickly spotted an empty twin not too far away. Given his horrid state, she could only guess where the contents of those bottles were at the moment.
If it was not bad enough that he looked like he had the plague, what she saw when she looked up was much, much more distressing. A dark cloud loomed over his head, but the substance was not exactly gassy, it seemed to be a strange mix of liquid dark goo and sparkly smoke. Robin had his brow creased and his lips moved a little, it was quite clear that, whatever that cloud was doing, it was not in any way pleasant.
The sight brought goosebumps to Regina's arms, she took one step forward and felt a strong wave of power, dark, ancient power, hit her, as if telling her to back off. She was still a few feet away from him, out of his eye shot, and even though the dark force told her to go away, she did no such thing.
Regina stood her ground; looking intently at the dark cloud, trying to read it, figure out what kind of magic it held. All she knew was that it felt ancient and powerful, and also that it did not like her presence there at all.
She was trying her hardest not to be affected emotionally by the fact that that strange cloud was probably doing something far from pleasant to Robin. Regina needed her mind clear of all those confusing things she felt towards him in order to help, but as the cloud grew in size and the outlaw beneath it looked paler and paler – maybe he had turned even a little green – Regina could not help but feel desperation course through her veins.
She took another step, she tried her voice, a failed attempt to say his name was swallowed by the heavy air around the cloud, but still Regina took another defying step, not knowing what to do exactly, but she had to do something.
Regina tried to bring forth her magic, tried to focus on her rage but there was another feeling drowning out the fuel to her magic, dread. She screwed her eyes shut and felt hopeless, unable to do anything, trying desperately to tap into her anger, the hate she felt for Snow White, the despise she felt for Leopold, the wrath she felt towards mother, but none of her sizzling magic seemed to want to come out, fear overcame her. Regina found it odd that she could not control her feelings, for she had confronted and defeated far worse things than that strange looking cloud, but for some reason, she could not help but feel terrified, hopeless and helpless.
Her chest clenched and suddenly Regina felt as if something was surfacing, not from her palms – where her magic usually came from – but from the very middle of her chest. When she opened her eyes again, she did not see anything different at first, but a glow from below caught her attention and when her eyes looked towards it, she found a small silver fox staring back at her, its big ghostly eyes quizzical and innocent.
All she had time to do was gasp before the small animal turned its tail on her and headed towards Robin's passed out body. It seemed to traverse the dense air around him with ease and quite simply jumped on his lap and stopped there, staring at the outlaw just like he had at her.
Regina had to blink a few times, her chest was still clenching but the feeling of dread slowly subsided, the fox remained where it was, as did the cloud and Regina. Not a minute later, Robin stirred and Regina found the strength to take another step.
Robin was clearly under the influence, his head was wobbly, he could barely lift it. He regarded the animal with some interest but then looked above, over his head. Regina felt stuck on the floor, the air still too dense for her to take another step forward, it seemed like the cloud was starting to get agitated, angry even.
Robin moved his lips but only a small grunt came out, something Regina could not make out. At the same moment, the silver fox leapt from his lap towards his head, only to find an impulse there to go up the tree trunk in an unnatural move and quite simply throw itself on the dark, unwelcome looking magical cloud.
There was a strange noise, a little like thunder, and zaps of silver started emerging from the thick dark cloud, an awful shriek came from within it and before Regina could say or do anything, it was gone. It simply disappeared.
Robin's head went limp and Regina found the strength in her legs then to push her feet from the ground and go to him. She was acting upon impulse, her heart beating so fast she felt as if it was going to come out of her mouth, she knelt in order to take a good look at him. His lips were still chalky, but his complexion was starting to gain a little color, unfortunately, the color in question was green.
He groaned and Regina felt like slapping him, why would he do such a thing? Drink himself unconscious, make himself vulnerable enough so that soul sucking cloud could easily do… whatever it was doing.
Regina took the almost empty bottle from his hand, brought it close to her nose and sniffed. The smell was foul, she could only guess the taste was ten times worse and he had apparently drunk almost two whole bottles. Why on earth would he do such a thing?
Regina's attention was snatched by a gleam on his other side, she got to her feet in order to look at what he had on his other hand. It was a dirk, his fingers were still very much holding on to the handle as the rest of the blade had been shoved down on the earth beside him. She looked at the bark of the tree and grazed her fingers at the slashed marks that had been made there, fresh and without a pattern, some deep, some mere scratches.
Her heart rate had slowed down a little, with the imminent threat of the strange cloud gone, she cursed him out loud for having put himself in such a situation as she got to her knees beside him once more in order to inspect his state a little further. However, before she even touched him, her mind took her back to the night before, when he had comforted her, eased her mind, and even cared after those two brats had refused her offer. Without thinking, her hand went to his chest and touched where his heart should have been, feeling the electric current between them and her palm heat up at the contact. She felt a strange agony start to build inside her chest, an alien agony she knew did not belong there. Still, she could understand why-
"No" his voice came out in a croaky whisper and Regina drew back her hand immediately. Her eyes went wide as he moved only a little, his lips parting again to try and speak, his eyes still shut, "Ma-" he took a breath that resulted in some coughing but Regina was suddenly afraid to touch him, "Marian"
The name came out painfully clear and it hit Regina like an arrow.
Marian
His wife's name, the one who was dead, the one John mistook her for, the one she had looked like over the past few hours.
All this was Regina's fault.
She was the one responsible for it, for him having drunk himself into oblivion, made himself vulnerable so any matter of threat might easily take advantage of his state.
She had asked for the shapeshifting spell, the imp had had his share of blame in giving her Robin's dead wife's face, but she, Regina knew from the start that there had been something terribly wrong with her disguise, but she had chosen to ignore it in favor of getting what she wanted. The result laid in front of her, passed out, having God-knows-what fermenting inside his stomach.
Regina's chest started clenching again, the weight of the guilt she felt was overwhelming. She could not begin to imagine how he must have felt when he saw her carry his dead wife's face and go about her merry way.
You see my child, the imp inside her head spoke, look at what love has done to him.
Regina quickly shooed Rumplestiltskin's voice from her head but a much stronger one took its place in tormenting her.
Love is weakness Regina, the heartless Queen, mother, told her, if it had been the other way round-
-I would have died, that small part of a young woman that remained spoke.
Involuntary tears trailed down her cheeks as Regina did not know what to do, shame took over.
Her treacherous mind conjured up the image of Daniel, her lost love standing right in front of her. Regina closed her eyes, not wanting to see him, but it was to no avail. His image haunted her mind.
It was not her Daniel who stood there, it was him, the thief, Robin. The grin gave him away, the depth of his eyes, the way he stood, the graveness he carried in his brow, troubled, tormented, dark, nothing like Daniel at all.
The image was almost unbearable to look upon, so many feelings erupted all at once Regina felt as if she was going to pass out.
If this were to happen to you, her mother started, her voice ever present in Regina's mind.
You would have been too weak to endure it, the imp's voice finished.
Regina was on her knees, breathing heavily, with her eyes screwed shut, she felt like her head was going to split in the middle when she heard it.
Robin groaned in discomfort, her eyes shot open, and Regina was brought back to reality. He was still passed out but had started to move and moan, his stomach making the most upsetting noise. She took a deep breath but still the incessant chattering went on and on inside her head.
Look what you did! The young girl moaned.
Stop this nonsense! The Queen whined.
Is that worry I see? The imp mocked
"Leave me be!" Regina nearly screamed.
There was a grave silence after that - only disturbed by Robin's stomach - but Regina could swear she could still hear their breathing; they were all there, they would never leave her be, the imp, the heartless Queen, and the young woman. They were all there, waiting for her next moment of weakness so they could torment her.
She exhaled through her mouth and looked back at the passed out outlaw. Regina knew she had to do something; she could not very well sit and cry over what she had caused him. However, she did not want to touch him anymore, suddenly she did not feel worthy of the blissful electricity that they shared, she had hurt him, and she found - much to her surprise - that it had upset her, more than that, it had hurt her as well.
So she waved her hand and engulfed them both in her purple magical smoke.
The next moment, they were both back in his chambers, his body laid on top of the not-slept-on sheets as Regina stood at the foot of the bed, looking at him with a strong knot in her stomach. Not ten seconds had passed before he came back to life, making an awful noise, arching his back from the bed and promptly wrenching his guts out on the sheets.
It made a horrible mess, spluttering not only on the bed but also on his trousers and boots. Regina knew that even her garbs had not gone untainted by the substance but her hands went instinctively forward in order to do something to help but froze upon seeing the colors the mess had left on the white sheets. There was the expected disgusting yellow from the suspicious brandy, but the color that had caught her eye and made her heart almost stop altogether was red.
Blood red.
Had her magic caused this?
Regina did not think she could have felt more guilty, but after seeing the red spots on the sheets and inhaling the metallic tang of blood, she forgot how to breathe and took a couple of steps back, afraid of the scene before her. After vomiting, Robin's weight had drawn him back to laying on his back but that was all Regina could register. She was breathing quickly, feeling nervous like she had not for a very long time. If the cloud situation had been awful, this was even worse.
He half-groaned, half-spoke something and Regina took a single step forward but was able to do no more, his face was filthy and carried a shade of green that worried her. She did not know what to do, healing magic had never really interested her, she had studied only a little of it in the beginning when she still harbored hopes in bringing Daniel back, but after the whole Dr. Frankenstein disaster, she had given up on it all together, avoided it at all costs.
Regina was actually afraid of using her magic on him, for all she knew, the fact that he had vomited blood as well as the amber liquid told her that the magical trip had caused it.
Before she could think of anything else, Regina was out the door, she was not quite sure of what she was doing but one thing she knew for certain, she needed help. She stood outside his door, looking at the stone corridor, the walls once adorned with tapestries of Leopold's legacy had been stripped from them, all there was to see was cold, grey stone.
Regina was in great need of help and yet, she trusted nearly no one. One of the only people she had come to half trust was inside the very room she had just stormed from.
There were a few other quarters in that corridor but Regina could not very well bang at every door and cry out for help. She was the Queen still, she could not put herself in that situation, the story of her meltdown would spread about the castle like a rash and she could lose the respect she had fought so hard for.
She was in need of help, but not any help, magical help. Regina did not know what had made so sick to the point of vomiting blood but she had a feeling that it had not been just hard liquor. Last she had magical help, this whole disaster had happened. But who else-
Mal
Regina did not know why she had not thought of Maleficent before, she had taught Regina so much in the past, and if she was being completely honest, Maleficent was one of the only friends she had. Plus, the dragon lady had set her on the track of getting that damned apple, surely she would have a solution and-
"Your Majesty?" an elderly voice spoke from behind her.
At first Regina was startled and spun around to meet whoever had disturbed her, but her aggressive words died on her throat when she recognized the familiar face.
"Your majesty, are you quite alright?" he asked, looking at her from head to toe with big enquiring eyes. At first Regina thought his question was due to her choice of clothing but then she remembered there was blood and puke on top of it.
"Quite Butler-" she responded firmly, praying to higher forces that her voice did not break, "Quite."
Butler, her father's valet. The only valet that had remained in the castle as a matter of fact. The man had accompanied her father ever since she had first come to the castle. Half of Butler's hair might have fallen from his head due the course of the past ten years, but if there was one thing Regina knew for certain was that the man was trustworthy, having taken excellent care of her father when he was sick on more than one occasion. Plus, if there was anybody who could be trusted with a secret, it was Butler, since he had been an agent for the army in his youth.
"Butler-" Regina tried not to sound too exasperated, she was going to go about this as a Queen would, "You shall assist Captain Locksley for today." she blurted out, it was supposed to sound like an order but lacked a bit of a bite, Regina's true disposition was ruining her monarch-like speech.
Both Butler's eyebrows went up in surprise and he gave her a simple, "Oh," he nodded, "Is there a special occasion to which I should dress him, your majesty?" he asked in all earnest.
Regina was able to huff out a bitter laugh and gave him, "In the state he's in, he won't be going anywhere for a while." she tried her best to sound indifferent, "Wash him first, he's made quite a mess on the sheets."
"As you wish, your majesty." he bowed his head slightly.
"I have an urgent business to attend to now," she spoke with an air of superiority, "But I expect your job to be as impeccable as ever." she lifted a brow and sneered, "I do not wish for either the premises of my castle or my royal guard to be damaged."
"Of course, your majesty." Butler replied with respect.
"Good." Regina gave him and as she was ready to puff herself away from that place she spoke again, "Do not-" she lifted a probing finger, "-under any circumstances, tell him I was here."
Regina regretted the words as soon as they left her mouth because they brought a very sutil smile to Butler's lips. She did not want to hear his reply to her statement so she did not wait for it, promptly engulfing herself in purple smoke and commanding that it took her to Maleficent's castle.
...
She did not land where she desired, in her rushed spell, Regina had forgotten that Maleficent's castle was well protected against apparition spells. So instead of appearing inside the castle's sitting room – where, all those years ago, Regina had first found Mal completely drugged by her own sleeping curse – she found herself a few paces from the imposing doors that led inside.
"Regina?" Maleficent's voice sounded from behind her and Regina cursed herself for being so careless. This was the second time someone sneaked behind her unnoticed in the last five minutes, had her state dulled her senses that much?
"Maleficent," Regina turned on her heel to meet the she-dragon's blue eyes, this time however, she found she did not have the will or strength to pretend she was indifferent, "I need your help."
Mal simply smirked, "Of course you do, little dove-" she waved her hand and they were both surrounded by her ancient magic and taken to Maleficent's grand library.
The place looked almost surreal, the walls were so high it seemed as if their height was endless, they were covered in books, centuries worth of books of all kinds. Regina knew Maleficent possessed the most impressive collection in the whole Enchanted Forest, having travelled long and far too many magical realms collecting information on all kinds of sorcery. It was no surprise to Regina when she saw a particular edition of 'The Art of Quidditch' flapping its pages up in the air, flying from one bookshelf towards another.
Unlike Regina's own dim library, this one was well lit by the glow of the late afternoon Sun and a candle chandelier that seemed to be floating above their heads, with no manner of chain attaching it to the ceiling. The ceiling itself wasn't even there, there was no concrete to be seen when one looked up, the vision was a mixture of pinks and blues, a few sparkly dots and a half crescent moon that the sunset painted the sky.
"But won't your books get wet when it rains?" Regina remembered when she had first come into this room, she had been dazzled by what she saw, but could not help but ask that silly question.
Maleficent had laughed, "Aren't you a funny little thing?" she had asked scrunching her nose at Regina.
"I'm not little!" Regina had protested, stomping one foot on the floor, "Need I remind you, I'm a Queen." She had tilted her chin up trying to sound imposing.
The she-dragon had smirked and given her, "The Queen of nothing as you yourself put the first time you sought me out."
Regina had opened her mouth to argue back but could not think of any comeback to that, her words had betrayed her.
"It's not real." Mal had told her, "The ceiling is enchanted."
Maleficent's entire castle sizzled with magic, every single time Regina had gone there she could feel the change in the air, it buzzed and hummed with sorcery.
Regina was brought back to the here and now when Maleficent sighed as she made her way about the place. She was not sporting her imposing dragon headpiece but wore her blonde frizzy hair loose and tangled, her dress was a wonder, the dirty pink that clung to Maleficent's body sparkled in a way that made Regina dizzy and enchanted.
Maleficent dropped her derriere com a chaise and gave Regina a look of curiosity before saying, "Drink?" she waved her hand and a goblet appeared in her grasp.
Regina felt her bile rise at the mere sight of alcohol but managed to say, "Not interested."
"That's unlike you," Maleficent's brow creased only a little.
"I'm here on business, Maleficent." Regina gave her, not wanting to let it show how affected she was.
Maleficent simply huffed and gave her, "You know I don't do business sober, so-" she lifted the glass and brought it to her mouth, and drained the goblet. Regina squeezed the fingers of her right hand with a bit of force as she watched Maleficent drink, she was getting more impatient by the second. When the she-dragon finished, she sighed – content with the taste of the wine – and threw the goblet away, before it could reach the floor, however, it disappeared.
The frown was still on her face when she spoke, "Well sit down Regina." she told her, "You look like you are constipated, my dove."
Regina inhaled deeply through her nose, "I told you not to call me-"
"Just sit down Regina!" Maleficent barked.
For a moment she simply stood where she was, Regina was having one of the most stressful, awful days of her life and it was all because she let herself care for another, what had become of her?
Regina found a chair nearby and sat. She did not have a plan, did not know how to go about this whole negotiation with Maleficent, she could not-
"So-" Maleficent's voice interrupted the chatter inside Regina's mind, "-have you finally come to bargain for that sleeping curse?"
There was a pause, Regina knew she was supposed to respond but found herself to be far too stunned to say anything.
The curse.
The sleeping curse for Snow.
She had nearly forgotten, but how could she have? Maleficent had the curse, Regina had promised her to find something worthy so she could exchange it for the curse, and although it had not been long since they had that understanding, it felt like an entire decade. Regina had been so enwrapped in all of the absurd things that had happened after she got the apple that she forgot why she had it in the first place.
When met with stunned silence, Maleficent continued, "You may have something that actually interests me."
Regina looked up and saw that Maleficent had sat up straight and was looking at her with intense eyes, eyes that knew what they wanted, not the eyes of a drowsy friend or of a satisfied lover, but the eyes of the enchantress Maleficent was, the magic hungry witch.
"I do?" Regina asked, trying to get her footing back.
"Yes." Maleficent did not blink.
Whatever it was that Regina had and Maleficent wanted, it must have been very valuable.
"We'll just have to see if I'm willing to part with whatever it is that you want." Regina gave her, arching a brow, it was always best to play it difficult with Maleficent at first, if she saw how desperate Regina was, she would most certainly take advantage of it.
"I thought you were willing to do anything to get your revenge on Snow White." Maleficent threw at her, there was a question in her tone, almost like a disbelief.
"I am!" Regina straightened her spine as she felt her blood course hot inside her veins.
"Ah-" Maleficent smirked, "There she is. Now that the Queen has arrived we can start making business." Maleficent waved her hand in the air and after the dark pink magical smoke cleared, the hand in question held a vial containing a dark dense liquid. "What do you say? A curse for a curse. My sleeping curse for your dark curse."
Regina opened her mouth to reply but no words came out. The offer was tempting, to take the Sleeping Curse - that was the key ingredient to Regina's revenge - in exchange for that ridiculous Dark Curse Rumpelstiltskin had given her. The Dark Curse was intriguing, if one wished to escape to another realm, which did not interest Regina in the very least. She did not fathom why she would want to leave behind her kingdom, her power – for she knew it could take her to a land without magic in which she would be stripped of all her power – let alone her father, and Rob-
Robin.
This was why she was there in the first place, to get a cure for Robin who was barfing blood because of her. But, what was she going to do? She couldn't very well exchange the Dark Curse for a vial of healing potion, not when she could exchange it for the weapon to finally have her revenge on Snow White. Could she?
What about Robin? The young woman inside her head asked, Are you going to take your chances with his condition?
Who cares about that thief? The impish voice was back, Make the trade Regina, get your revenge.
He makes you weak Regina, the heartless Queen spoke, better get him out of the way.
Why choose? A dark female voice spoke, that one hardly manifested itself, Take both. Take control and take both.
"I want both." Regina spoke suddenly.
"Both?" Maleficent looked at her puzzled. Of course, the she-dragon had not been able to listen to the heated discussion inside Regina's head.
"Yes," Regina looked down as she smoothed the fabric of her riding trousers with her hands, "I will negotiate the Dark Curse for a price." she looked up again, her heart beat fast and she felt her face grow warmer, "But I want in exchange for it your Sleeping Curse and a healing potion made out of bezoar."
It was Maleficent's turn to go silent for a moment, she studied Regina and placed two fingers under her chin as she spoke, "Why would you need a healing potion? You know self-healing magic pretty well, I myself taught you how to master it."
"It is for my private collection and also none of your business." Regina shot at Maleficent, trying to get away from answering a question she knew was coming.
"Don't play me a fool Regina-" Mal huffed and leaned back on the chaise, "Bezoar infused potions cannot be stored, they last a couple of days at the most."
"I wish to study it." Regina gave her.
"Liar." Maleficent saw right through her.
There was a grave silence in which both women exchanged defying looks, Mal clicked her tongue and broke it, "It's not a bad bargain, so I will take it." She straightened her posture and continued, "Bezoar may be extremely rare to grow inside the stomach of goats of the Enchanted Forest but I just so happened to have met a rather interesting professor who was quite willing to exchange a very large amount for my mix of sea water and a drop of sleeping curse." She gloated, Regina remembered when they had first met and Mal was practically addicted to the mix herself, "The alcohol wasn't keeping his ghosts away, he needed something stronger."
Regina felt a sudden chill up her spine and could not help but ask, "What became of him?"
"He died." Mal gave her without emotion, "Got half his neck ripped off by a gigantic snake."
Regina swallowed, at least her neck as well as Robin's was still quite in place. There wasn't anything she could or should say about that matter so she rolled her shoulders back and asked, "So we have a deal?"
"Yes, we do, little dove." Regina made a face, but before she could protest, Maleficent went on, "But since we're exchanging two for one, I want a little something else from you." she looked amused now.
"What else could you want?" Regina asked impatiently.
"An answer-" Maleficent smirked, "Who is the potion for?" Regina made it to reply but Maleficent held up one finger and continued, "You'd better tell me the truth, or else the bezoar won't work."
Regina felt downright annoyed at how well Maleficent knew her. She saw no way out but to come clean with the information, she could not risk the potion not working.
"Robin"
"Robin?" Maleficent's chilly blue eyes went wide, "Robin Hood? The one that stole my mirror? That one I caught slapping your arse the other day?"
"The very same-" Regina gave her, feeling something warm build up at the mention to that particular day they had nearly defiled Regina's library table, "He doesn't go by Hood anymore, it's Locksley he prefers."
Maleficent let out an amused laugh and Regina rolled her eyes. Why in all the realms had she said that? Disclosed Robin's preference in what to call him? What was she thinking?
"He prefers?" Maleficent mimed her words, "You've grown quite attached to your boy toy Regina."
"He's not my boy toy, I-" Regina started but when she saw the look of knowingness on Mal's face she chose to simply stop speaking, any word Regina said might betray her true feelings, "He's the captain of my personal guard."
"Didn't know you cared that much for your personal staff." Maleficent threw at her.
"I don't, I cannot have my staff ill when I-" Regina tried to justify her actions but she was pretty sure she wasn't even convincing the chair she was sitting on, let alone Maleficent.
"Regina-" Mal interrupted her, "-so what?" she waved her hand carelessly. "You care, that's no crime."
"I-" Regina was completely out of words, she wanted to deny it but she could not.
"I myself have been indulging-" Maleficent lifted one eyebrow.
"Who is it?" Regina could not help but ask.
"That's the thing!" Maleficent laughed, "I don't know!"
"How?"
"We only meet in dragon form." she smiled at Regina and suddenly she looked so young it was almost alarming, "It's safer that way."
Regina blinked a couple of times thinking of how much easier her life would have been if she could simply hide her lover's identity like Maleficent did.
"Just don't let your enemies know of it, my dove." Mal spoke while she rose from her seat and looked down at Regina who was sat very still looking up at her only friend. She placed two fingers under Regina's chin and finished, "Most of all, that disgusting imp Rumpelstiltskin, that one is made from the devil's cloth."
Regina only had time to swallow; remembering how Rumple already knew there was something different going on in between Robin and her.
Maleficent turned her back on her and stalked towards one of the bookcases. Her lips were a mere inch from the spine of one of the books and she whispered something Regina could not make out. She withdrew her face and the book levitated from the bookcase, opening itself up, in its very middle there was a pebble-sized rock, the bezoar. As she studied the bezoar, she extended her right arm to the side, turned it 180 degrees and closed her fingers one by one, as if telling something to come her way.
Indeed, not long after, a green vial came floating her way as she took the bezoar in her palm. She extended the hand and the green vial tipped right on top of the bezoar, dropping its shimmery lime green contents on the rock. Instead of making a mess, Maleficent made beautiful magic to witness, the stone seemed to drain all the liquid and started to change color, it went from a boring dark grey to a strong forest green. Maleficent then used her other hand to create a vial for the mix just as it was turning liquid. Her timing was perfect and right before Regina's eyes, she had the cure for whatever it was that Robin had.
Maleficent looked up from her creation and asked, "Do you have your curse?"
...
Regina could not complain, she left Maleficent's castle with much more than she had originally hoped for, a strong potion that would help heal Robin's stomach and the curse that would turn her revenge into reality.
She found it odd that she did not feel a drop of joy, only agony and guilt, the image of Robin passed out and vomiting blood would not let her be. Plus, having had Maleficent tell her that it was not all that bad, caring for someone, was on itself completely contradictory and utterly confusing. Although Regina had to remember that Mal had never preached to her that love was weakness.
When she puffed herself back to Robin's chambers, it was already nighttime; the room was illuminated by a small candelabrum that rested on top of the dresser and a single candle that burned on the nightstand. With the new lighting, a soft orange, it almost looked like a different place altogether. Butler was sat on the stool by the bed, and ever so gently patted Robin's forehead with a wet piece of cloth. The outlaw looked awful, he was still unconscious and laid on his back. His skin looked inflamed with fever, Regina could barely look at him without feeling pins in her chest.
"Your majesty." Butler bowed his head slightly but continued his work.
"Butler." She acknowledged him.
"I have done as you commanded, your majesty." Butler explained as he brought the cloth from Robin's forehead to dip it inside a water basin, "He is clean, although it took me a while since he vomited twice more in the process of getting to the tub." Regina looked down at the carpeted floor to see the trail of vomit and blood Robin had left behind. "I had the maids change the sheets and the mattress, but they will come back to clean the floor as soon as I'm able to get his fever down."
Regina waved her hand and the yellow and red mess was gone from the floor, "No need." She spoke without sentiment, "You have done well, Butler. You may go."
"But your majesty, he's still-" Butler tried to protest in the politest tone known to mankind.
"I will deal with him from now on." She interrupted the man, not letting it show how anxious she truly was to simply shove that potion down Robin's throat.
Butler looked concerned but said nothing more – if Regina was playing her part well, he would think that she was to punish Robin for having put himself in that situation, but what Butler thought or not, she would never know. He carefully placed the damp cloth on the thief's forehead, bowed his head towards Regina – who stood a few feet away from the bed – and made his way to leave the room.
"You will be back in the morning to attend to him." She spoke again just as the man had passed her by, she did not turn around to face him, her eyes were fixed on Robin's figure. "And remember-" she turned her head to the side so Butler could see half her face, "-I was never here." She finished.
"Yes, your majesty." He gave her and left.
Regina waited for the door to close, for the click of the doorknob and for the sound of Butler's steps to disappear before she moved. She slithered her hands to her coat's pockets, a potion in each one of them, one lethal while the other was the complete opposite. She was careful to take the right one, the forest green mix infused with bezoar, as she made her way towards the bed.
She knelt on the floor just beside the bed and regarded him, wary and afraid with the weight of shame still heavy in her chest. Butler had done his job well, the outlaw was clean, none of the horrid stench had remained, the covers concealed his lower body while his upper one bore a long sleeved sleeping shirt.
Regina could not remember the last time she had been in a situation like this, kneeling beside a sickbed, looking after someone. When she came to think about it, maybe she had never done it before, even so, she took the wet cloth from his forehead and deposited it inside the water basin, her hand touched the reddened skin of his face, and it was warm and clammy.
Butler was right, he had a fever, but from the looks of it, the old man had managed to bring it down with his treatment, but Regina was not going to take any chances. She took a deep breath and lifted herself from her knees.
Robin was sound asleep, from what she could tell, he could not see or hear her. His breathing was deep, and he would never know she had been there.
He could never know.
Regina had to give him the potion, she figured it would be easier if she simply used her magic to lift his head and made him swallow the contents of the vial. But she wasn't going to do that. She was not going to use magic on him, not even a simple levitation spell; magic is what had caused this whole disaster in the first place.
And so, the only thing that was touched by magic were her boots, that she made disappear with a wave of her hand. Regina sat on the edge of the bed on the opposite side in which the outlaw laid feeling nervous and awkward. All this was extremely alien to her, her heart was hammering fast inside her chest, suddenly Regina felt young and raw.
You did this, you evil woman! The young woman accused her, whispering in Regina's ear, Just like mother.
Regina's eyes watered against her will but she refused to shed those tears, she figured she had better do what she had to do and leave. She turned to face him completely and lifted his head ever so gently, managing to situate herself where his head had been, the sheets beneath her damp with his feverish sweat. Regina then lowered his head onto her lap and he coughed once, giving her a start, but remained asleep. The whole process took a little bit of work but Regina was adamant that she was not using magic, not for this.
She ran her fingers about his wet hair, feeling the zaps between them intensify, they felt different, as if some of her energy was being transferred to him. She then brought the very tips of her fingers to touch his cheeks until they reached the prickliness of his stubble. The buzz was ever present and soothing, and Regina felt herself relax a little with the strange exchange between them. She had never registered before how there were so many different shades of blonde in his beard, the mixture looked attractive and bonny in the candle light, but it wasn't until she saw his lips, still chalky and pale, that Regina was shaken back to reality and drew her hand away.
Just give him the potion Regina! The stronger womanly voice screamed in her head.
She reached for the vial, which she had left on the nightstand, removed the stopper, and immediately her senses were invaded by the strong scent of bezoar.
Get it over with! The voice insisted.
Regina did not think twice before she forced the glass vial against his half-closed lips, "Drink it, you drunken baboon!" she muttered, as she tried to make him drink the potion. His eyes were a little opened but out of focus, and Regina had to resource to holding his nose so the only way he could breathe was through his mouth.
It took a few seconds, but suddenly, his mouth was opening, in desperate search of air, Regina took her chance and managed to make him drink half of the potion, half would do quite well. The coughed a little but did not seem to be conscious, there was a mighty noise that came from the depths of his stomach, and if that was not enough, he closed with a burp that would bring many an ogre to shame.
Regina felt a little sick at the display and muttered more to herself, "Animal, doesn't even know how to drink, it's not my fault that you got so pissed drunk…"
As soon as the words left her lips, Regina felt the pins in her heart again, she looked down at his face, in that strange haze of guilt and care. Had guilt been the only reason why she had almost moved mountains to see him healthy again? Regina knew the answer to that question, it burned her from inside out.
This man, the man she had hurt, the former thief, he had managed to touch her in a way she didn't even think was possible, had managed to break some bricks of the tall wall she had built around herself. He saw her, as she was.
And that terrified Regina.
Regina's fingers found his cheek and she spoke again, this time her tone had changed completely, "It actually was, wasn't it?" she let out a wee humorless laugh, feeling her chest tighten as she could register the skin under her fingers breaking the fever. "I'm sorry." She said simply and licked her lips. Regina was nervous all of a sudden, her other hand found his and closed about it, squeezing a little while the tip of her index finger found his lips, the buzz in between them strong and undeniable.
She was startled back to reality when he actually spoke, "Regi-" his lips moved under her finger and for a moment Regina was frozen, his eyes were half-open, he tried again, "Regina"
Regina gasped and let go of his hand, his eyes were starting to gain focus again, the blue orbs she would not be able to look into without feeling shame started to come to life. But before he could register her completely, Regina was gone, had disappeared in a cloud of purple smoke, leaving him alone to think this had been merely a dream.
…
Regina felt like shit, there was no better way to convey how she felt. Guilt was eating her alive and she had to do something to rid herself from feeling that awful agony. She had considered ripping her own heart out again, but she knew it would not work, for even without her heart, she was still able to have feelings towards him, she had felt more than she wanted all those months ago at the Royal Engagement Ball, why would it be any different now?
She ultimately decided, that very night after having given him the potion - which would heal any internal damage magic or liquor had caused him - that she would dive head first into the pursuit of Snow White. With the sleeping curse in her grasp, now the only thing left to collect was the girl herself. Her simmering hate for that brat still pumped lively inside her veins; surely, Regina would forget her guilt in the face of seeing that her vengeance was completed.
Substituting guilt for rage was not as easy as Regina had first expected, she wanted, at first, to pin the blame on someone else but ultimately it always fell on her, on her own selfishness and her disregard. The imp had his share of guilt but had she not tried to torment him with false tales about his beloved, there was a probability that he would not have performed the shapeshifting spell as he had.
This was on her, and it ate her alive.
That was why Regina had decided that this time, she would be joining the hunt of Snow White. No more scouts were to be sent out, Regina planned to march with her knights and catch the damned girl in person. Her mind would not have time to ponder upon anything but her bloodlust, her revenge for herself and for Daniel. Plus, the idea of catching Snow herself, with her own bare hands, imprison her in the very castle she had grown up in, wrap her hands around the girl's neck and make her believe that Regina was indeed going to kill her only to let her live at the last moment, to torture the girl on and on until she felt like giving her the poisoned apple, made Regina's heart stammer with excitement.
The girl would pay, she had to pay.
For the next few days, she had been able to keep her worries for the thief at bay, talking strategies, meeting with her men in order to prepare for departure, while he still recuperated in his chambers under the watchful eye of Mr. Butler. Butler would keep her informed, sending discreet notes to her chambers every evening retelling of Robin's condition.
After she had been informed that he had woken and was able to stand, walk and piss on his own, Regina had called on him. The last thing she wanted in the world was to actually see him but she had very little choice, he was the captain of her personal guard after all, and, as much as it pained her to admit, the only one on her side who knew everything about where a fugitive would hide in the Enchanted Forest.
She had thought about ripping her heart out, just for that meeting, but she decided against it in the end. Regina would just have to be strong, cold and build a fortress around her heart in order for him not to see through her true disposition.
When their first meeting finally came to pass, Regina did not know how to act or how to speak to him, she had summoned him but had no plans as to how she was going to treat him. She knew she could not bring herself to be disdainful as she usually was, nor could she find the courage to banter with him.
When he walked into the throne room and his strong accented voice reached her ears, Regina felt her face heat up instantly.
"You summoned me?" he had asked, his voice and whole demeanor had been cold throughout the entire meeting and even though Regina felt her heart shrink with sadness and guilt, she gave back at the same coin, being direct and impersonal, putting on the mask of the diplomatic Queen she had not worn in the longest time.
Regina could not help but feel even worse then than she did before, his attitude towards her only confirmed that she had hurt him, she really had wounded him, and not with her usual physical violence or cross words, but with something that truly wounded him, which, for some strange reason, hurt her, opened up a festering hole in her chest.
To make things worse, she had to see him every other day in order to make sure her hunt was being planned to perfection. She managed to develop a few techniques in order for those meetings not to bring her down so much, she was polite - which was rare of her to be - and to the point, would seldom look in his eyes and always kept her distance, the buzz between them was still there, it found its way to her through the air when he was in her presence, but she had not felt the true intensity of it ever since the day she had given him the potion.
She wished she could say that time flew by but it did not, three torturous weeks passed like this, the coldness and strange formality between them was constant.
Regina's guilt burdened her, keeping her from going to him, but deep down she felt so alone.
She missed him.