Published October 18, 2020

A/N: This is another variant of the beginning. This time, Ellie has some thoughts about what is going on with her younger brother.

I have a beta this time. davida6 and I came up with the kernel of the premise of this one when chatting after a chapter of his story "Chuck versus X-13." If you haven't read it, this story will be here when you've finished that one. He's beta, but any issues are on me. If you PM me corrections, I'll fix them. There's no expiration date.

Disclaimer: Nobody else owns anything here, so why would I?

Evening of September 19, 2007

Ellie finished wiping the kitchen counter and tossed the wet rag into the sink. The stove was on low to keep dinner warm. Chuck would be getting home soon, so the food would initially be for him and her. Devon had a late shift at the hospital, so he'd get leftovers. There was enough food for four. She hoped Morgan wasn't going to be with Chuck and wouldn't try staying for the fourth helping. If the bearded garbage disposal didn't eat the other helping, there would be enough for a leftover box for Chuck to take into work tomorrow. She knew it wasn't her job, but she worried about all of the nitrates in the sandwiches he loved. Even though she was only his big sister (not his doctor or mom), she wanted him to eat healthier. It would be nice if there was a fresh sandwich place near the Buy More. She had heard two new places were opening up. One would serve fried food—the other would be a deli. Hopefully it was a healthy one. The Buy More plaza had a Sbarro pizza place. If the sandwich place wasn't healthy, maybe a Subway would open in the Buy More plaza.

Ellie thought she heard something coming from Chuck's room. For a second, she wondered if Morgan had used Chuck's window again, but she quickly realized that Morgan would come through the front door with Chuck. There was an intruder!

She grabbed a frying pan and quietly tip-toed to Chuck's room. The door was ajar, and inside, someone was on the floor, half under the desk, unplugging the computer. The person was dressed completely in black. Even the head was completely covered in a tight hood. The burglar was trying to steal it!

Ellie was having none of that. She had surprise. She pulled back and let loose a full swing with the metal "weapon" in her hand.

CLANG!

The hit was solid and knocked out the unsuccessful thief. Ellie knew she should call the police, but first, she needed to tie up her victim. It would be bad if this person dressed as a ninja woke up while Ellie was on hold. She was able to knock her out when she had surprise, and now this criminal was lying unconscious on the floor. The authorities wouldn't be there in less than five minutes. This was the only time she was certain to have advantage. Also, the doctor part of her wanted to verify she didn't cause a serious head injury.

First, she lifted the person in black up into Chuck's computer chair. It was a woman! Whoever it was, she was tall and very fit. Her breathing seemed normal. Devon kept climbing rope in their room, so Ellie quickly retrieved some and started to tie up the captive. Ellie removed the hood to reveal, to her surprise, the woman was attractive with shoulder-length, blonde hair. Tall blondes were a dime a dozen in LA, and the breaking-and-entering outfit was not complementary, but the woman was probably striking when she cleaned up.

It made no sense for whomever it was to resort to breaking into homes. Even if she was an out-of-work actress (a common situation in LA), her situation couldn't be that bad. They didn't have money for drugs, not that this woman had that sunken eye socket look, as much as you could tell with her eyes closed. Some of the classic signs, like being jittery, couldn't be determined with a person who was unconscious. Ellie did know some of the other signs, like change in appetite and disinterest in work. Ellie supposed she might need a drug test to know for sure. Trying to steal a computer? This woman was desperate for money. It wasn't even the most valuable thing to steal.

With the mystery woman tied up and secure on Chuck's computer chair, Ellie picked up the phone handset in Chuck's room to dial 9-1-1. Her prisoner started to wake, which surprised her. Ellie had hoped that wouldn't happen until the police got there. It was a good thing she tied up her victim before she called for help. Ellie felt her medical duty again and figured she should do a concussion baseline test. Phone call first. She could do the test while the authorities were coming.

The thief looked angry but wasn't fully alert. She was probably angry with herself for being caught—not angry at Ellie. The woman weakly said, "Wait. Please don't call the police."

"Please?" That was so absurd, Ellie couldn't help but engage. "I must have hit your head worse than I thought. You broke into my home and were about to steal that computer. Of course, I'm calling the police." Ellie shook her head slightly and quietly said, practically to herself. "Why this place? We're not loaded. That's not even the most valuable thing in this apartment." She took a breath to calm the adrenaline that was coursing through her veins. About to dial again, she halted when she heard voices coming into the courtyard.

The woman struggled against the rope that restrained her. That was pointless. There was no way she was getting the rope untied. She wasn't awake enough, so she had no chance of getting free. Still weak, she quietly said, "I wasn't here to get Chuck's comic books."

"Chuck. How do you know his name is Chuck?" Ellie's eyes dashed around the room looking for a clue that might have tipped this woman off. Maybe Chuck had left the computer on, so she figured it out from the login box.

"I met him today at the Buy More. He seemed like a great guy." She had sounded a bit stronger, maybe even honest, with that last bit, like she meant it. They had met? That made no sense. Why would a thief show her face before breaking-in?

The voices were closer out in the courtyard. It was her brother and his idiot friend. They were off work. Ellie was going to have to order Morgan home…again. With them closer, she finally heard what they were saying.

"Why wouldn't you call this girl?" Morgan asked with exasperated enthusiasm.

"Oh, I don't know. Did you see her?" Chuck asked. The question sounded rhetorical, but Morgan wouldn't let it go. It sounded like Chuck got the number of some woman he met at work. The woman in the room with her said she had met Chuck. It couldn't be the same woman, could it?

"Yes. Oh, man, yes. That's why I'm going to repeat the question. Why wouldn't you call this girl?"

"Because I live on planet earth, Morgan." Of course, her brother wasn't going to follow it up and ask a woman on a date. His performance last night was a disaster. She heard Chuck say, "Why are you following me home?" Ellie agreed with that question.

"Aw… hey. We're buddies. We're going to go do friend things, and… I need to use your computer because mine's still acting up on me."

"Irene Demova?" Ellie had no idea who she was.

"So beautiful and so deadly."

"Yeah," Chuck sighed in agreement.

For the past minute, Ellie's captive had seemed as interested in eavesdropping as she was. This woman probably was the same woman. They heard the front door open. She seemed more awake, but at least she had stopped struggling like she was trying to escape.

Ellie thought Chuck ought to help deal with this situation. She called, "Chuck, it's about time. I want to talk to you about something very important. Morgan, go home!"

Ellie popped out of the bedroom and stopped her brother at the beginning of the hall to the back. "First of all, Chuck, your computer is fine."

"Really? How do you know? You couldn't have checked it out. It was acting weird last night, but I passed out on the floor before looking to see what was wrong. Then, I got up late for work and didn't have time this morning to try to find the problem. Whatever it was, it was not the Demova virus. I was not looking at porn from a Serbian porn star."

"Oh, of course not." She shook out her head. "What are you talking about? I meant your computer is still here. I didn't know it was broken."

"Of course, it's still here. Why would it be somewhere else?" Chuck noticed where his sister was standing (blocking his room) and that she was holding a frying pan.

She said, "I stopped the thief who was trying to steal it. I was going to call the police, but she said she knows you."

"It's a she? She knows me? What?" Chuck stepped around his sister to enter his room. "It's you." He exhaled with a smile forming on his face, "Sarah."

"Hi, Chuck," the tied-up woman smiled back. She seemed awfully happy for someone tied to a chair.

Uh, oh. It was the same woman who gave him a number, who Morgan and Chuck had been talking about. It probably was a fake number. 'Sarah' probably wasn't even her real name. This 'Sarah' had broken into Chuck's room and was going to steal his computer. It didn't matter if she knew him. She was dressed to hide who she was. She was committing a crime. Ellie asked her brother, "You really know her? How do you know her?"

"She's the one I was just talking about with Morgan out in the courtyard. She brought her phone to the Buy More today, and after I fixed it, she left her card. She's the one Morgan was trying to convince me to call but I figured there was no point."

Yes, she definitely was the same woman. Ellie had been almost certain it had to be her, but the situation was too absurd to actually be true. Before Ellie could figure out what to say, Sarah said with disappointment in her voice, "You weren't going to call me?"

Before Chuck could explain, Ellie snapped back at Sarah, "Why do you care?"

Sarah calmly answered, "Chuck's a great guy. Part of me was hoping to see him again, even though it wouldn't work between us in the long run. It's nice to think a guy like him likes me." Ellie thought that was insecure for someone who looked like her. "Is it because of this Irene Demova?"

This woman didn't know how to turn off the whole "fake interest" thing. See him again? After breaking into his bedroom?

"Irene Demova is a Serbian porn star I've never met, so it has nothing to do with her," Chuck said in a rush, like he was embarrassed by the implication that he was associated with her. "There's a computer-killer virus that took out the Prism Express display laptop at work because someone was using it to surf for videos that shouldn't have been on a public machine the Buy More owns. The porn's web site was infected with a computer virus. It's infecting a lot of machines that the Nerd Herd services, but it only fries the Prism Express. It causes other problems on other types of computers, so I want nothing to do with it on my machine."

Chuck pulled a card out of his pocket. "I wasn't going to call because…well…you're out of my league."

Ellie snatched the card from Chuck's grip. It wasn't a hand-written number. Printing up the number showed commitment. Still. "This probably isn't even a real number."

Chuck took it back, took out his cell phone, and started dialing. The room was silent.

Ellie pointed up and stated, "See, no ring."

Sarah said, "I don't have it on me."

"Likely excuse. You couldn't have it ringing when you were breaking and entering."

"True, but I can't have it on silent either because this mission outfit doesn't have pockets for a phone. I left it in my car."

Ellie didn't know what a "mission outfit" was. Chuck put his phone on speaker. The answering service message was the voice of the same woman who was tied up in front of them. The number was real. Ellie said, "I have to hand it to you. A real number. 'Sarah' might even be your real name."

Ellie saw an expression pass over the face of this "Sarah." She didn't confirm that was her real name. This whole thing had to be some kind of scam. She had been unplugging Chuck's computer. "You obviously were scouting Chuck before you stole his computer. Chuck, is it worth more because you built it? How much does that make it worth?"

Chuck said, "It's not that special. A lot of computer nerds assemble and build their own computer. That normally costs less than one from a big-name company like HP or Dell. It's like generics at the grocery store. You don't have to pay for the corporate logo and their ads. Since I built it last year, this computer is now used. Anything used is worth less. Also, the hardware isn't cutting edge anymore."

Sarah suggested, "Chuck's comics are probably worth more. I'm not here for those."

Chuck shrugged. "I wouldn't say that. It's a collection, but it's not worth that much."

Ellie rolled her eyes. He couldn't even control what he said to a would-be criminal who feigned interest. "Why were you bragging to some woman you just met about your comics? She didn't believe you and went after your computer instead. You shouldn't talk about your ex-girlfriend, video games, or comics."

"I didn't."

"Oh really? How did she know about your comics?"

Sarah answered for Chuck, "It was a guess. There's a framed Comic-Con poster on the wall. Actually, I'm surprised the poster near the door is a Tron poster, not Batman. I haven't heard of that movie." She then tilted her head to the side to indicate the Dune poster by the closet. "I've never seen that one. I think it's a book, too. I don't think it's a comic." She rocked her head to the poster behind her. "I actually like North by Northwest a lot. I watched that classic with my dad growing up. I like trains with sleeper cars. It's also sort of ironic."

Ellie didn't understand the irony. Chuck wasn't a New York City advertising executive. Sure, there was a blonde woman in that Hitchcock movie, but she was a spy, not a thief. To Catch a Thief was a different Hitchcock movie. Chuck must have said something to her about Batman. "Why Batman?" she asked.

"Chuck said I look like Vickie Vale—not that I know who that is. He told me it was from Batman."

Ellie turned to Chuck. "You said she looks like Vickie Vale?"

"Actually, that was Morgan. He said she looked like Vickie Vale, quoting Batman with 'Stop the presses.' I continued the scene before I saw Sarah was there."

Ellie shook her head. Last night, Chuck was fleeing his birthday party which she had filled with real, live women for him to meet. Nothing was wrong with them, but he scared them away by going on and on about the harpy he dated in college and about video game "injuries." Today, he was hitting on a woman by quoting a superhero movie. It's almost like he wanted to stay in his single-funk.

Sarah said, "I thought it was cute. I don't know who that is, though."

Ellie didn't know superhero stuff like Chuck or Morgan, but even she knew that one. The movie was really popular when it was released, back when she was a freshman at UCLA. She went to it on a date with… What's his name… It doesn't matter. They only went on that one date. "Vickie Vale was played by Kim Basinger."

"Who?"

Chuck answered, "She's an actress who won an Oscar a few years later. You're more attractive than she."

Sarah actually blushed. She was already caught. She didn't need to continue the act that she was interested in Chuck for his benefit. Sounding a little curious, Sarah asked, "You don't have the first Batman comic? That would probably be worth something."

"Oh, no. That's from 1939 and is worth about a million dollars. That would be worth stealing… if you did something like that. A computer wouldn't be anything close to that. Unless…" Ellie knew there must be something there. "Unless there was something on the computer."

That made more sense to Ellie. She asked Chuck, "You're hacking again, aren't you?" Maybe he downloaded something he shouldn't.

"No. Of course not. I haven't done that since Stanford."

Sarah asked in a deadly serious tone, "How well do you know Bryce Larkin?"

A/N: Ellie: 1; Ninja: 0.

Song:
- "Batdance (Vicki Vale Mix)" by Prince