She could feel tension in the air as the family sat down for lunch, but she couldn't exactly say why. The children had been well behaved all morning, she had even let them skip out on some of their studies since school would be starting again soon. They were all delighted to be given a rare chance to slack off.

It was probably her own temperament that needed help, she thought. She had started her monthly cycle that morning, right on time, and sent a huge thank you to God for blessing her. It caused her to laugh a bit at the fact that something she had always seen as a complete nuisance had suddenly become something she prayed for. However, the gratefulness she felt was still sufficiently outweighed by the feeling of bloating in her stomach and her terribly agitated state.

The children chattered with their father, but Max and the Baroness were uncharacteristically quiet that day. She and Georg seemed distant, and Maria wondered if they'd argued at some point. It wouldn't have surprised her in the slightest; she would have felt extremely neglected if she were the Baroness. She often found herself wondering what a private conversation between the Baroness and Georg sounded like. Her own conversation with him on the boat doc made her feel so safe and adored, incredibly important to him, but she couldn't help wondering if he was like that with her too. Did they have deep conversations into the night? Suddenly, Gretl addressed her, and she forced a smile. She truly wanted to just be left alone at the moment, but knew it was her current state deciding that, not any of the children's fault.

"Fraulein Maria, what will happen to you once we go back to school?"

"Well, I'll be here for the first couple weeks or so, and then I'm afraid my time will be up with you all." The girl seemed saddened by her response, and she touched her cheek in comfort.

"And then what?"

"Don't worry about that now. Let's do our best to enjoy the time we do have together. We still have the party to look forward to." She smiled, trying to ease her mind. She found herself giving the same advice she'd given Liesl about her boy troubles a while back. "We'll take it one day at a time."

"Will we be allowed to visit you at the Abbey?" Kurt's voice chimed in, and she saw the Baroness roll her eyes, as she clearly knew more now about Maria than she wanted to. Before Maria could respond, Liesl spoke up in a scathing tone to answer on her behalf.

"You can't live in an Abbey if you're going to Hell."

"I beg your pardon!" Maria's eyes widened, shocked at the words coming from Liesl's mouth. The rest of the children looked appalled and confused.

"You heard me." Georg sat up angrily at her words, chiming in with his own discipline.

"Liesl, you will not disrespect your governess. And you will absolutely not say things like that in front of the family."

"Yes, Father." He nodded and went back to his food. She looked to Georg, eyes blazing. Was that really all he was going to say? He didn't think there was anything else that needed addressed? And of course, he wouldn't demand an apology in the least. She couldn't wait to give him a piece of her mind about it later. She was absolutely enraged.

"Liesl, get up, now." Her words were soft, but more firm than she typically used with the children. They all looked around to one another, nervous for their sister, who shook her head in response, unmoving.

"Maria..." Georg's warning was lost to her anger, as if she saw no one else in the room besides Liesl at the moment. He knew that look from the times they had argued.

"Get up." Her words were harsh, and she felt herself snapping. She stood quickly, her chair loudly scooting across the floor as she approached Liesl. When the girl didn't stand, she roughly grabbed her arm and yanked her out of the chair, marching her out of the room like a child. "Come on."

"Since when do we just call her Maria?" The Baroness met his eyes, her eyebrows raised in question, and Georg felt his heart skip a beat. He hadn't realized he had been so informal. She had never asked or seemed suspicious about his governess before, and it caught him off guard.

"I suppose I was trying to get her attention. It clearly didn't work." He shrugged, going back to his food as the children picked at theirs, obviously concerned with what was going to happen to Liesl. He tried not to meet anyone else's eyes for the rest of the meal, sure he would give away his nerves if he did. The Baroness went back to her meal, but he could only feel tension radiating from her. That conversation was obviously just beginning.

"Let go of me!" Liesl shouted at Maria as she dragged her outside, down the steps of the veranda and into the garden. Maria was not taking any chances of someone hearing their conversation, and she was done treading lightly with one another. She had granted the girl's wishes of not talking for far too long. She finally shoved Liesl away from her, and they stood face-to-face, eyes connected in fury.

"So what is it then? What have I done to deserve your condemning me to Hell?" She crossed her arms, awaiting an explanation for the harsh words at lunch. Liesl was nearly fuming at being handled so roughly.

"I loathe you!"

"Yes, I'm quite aware of that! Care to tell me why?"

"You know what you've done."

"Please pretend I don't, and enlighten me." She raised her eyebrows expectantly. She had an obvious idea why, but it had truly never been confirmed. How would she have even known, she wondered time and time again.

"I saw you."

"Saw me what?"

"I saw you..." She waved her hands frustratedly, not wanting to say the words. "I saw you with my father."

"Um...saw what, exactly?" She was afraid to know, but couldn't assume anything. She placed her hands upon her hips, trying to open herself up more for a discussion rather than an argument.

"Everything." Maria sighed, looking to the sky for help.

"As in..."

"As in the thing you two apparently do when you're alone! I was outside with Rolfe one night and got locked out. I was planning to climb through your window and sneak in, but you were...occupied." Her eyes widened, she couldn't believe what she was hearing. Liesl didn't just know about them, she saw them together, in a fit of passion. She brought her hands to her cheeks to cover the redness that had crept upon them at the thought of being seen in such a vulnerable state, naked and weak in his arms. She closed her eyes to calm herself.

"Oh, Liesl. I...when you say everything..."

"Start to finish, everything! What's hard to understand?" She wanted to vomit at the words, placing a hand upon her stomach.

"Please..."

"And I used to look up to you as someone who is good and true and pure, and you're none of those things. You're a wicked, terrible woman, and I hate you for what you're doing." She was speechless, unsure what to say next. She didn't realize Liesl had put her upon such a pedestal in the first place; there was no way she could ever live up to that anyway.

"I am deeply sorry that you saw what you did, that's the last thing I would ever want, you must know. I'm incredibly embarrassed." Liesl rolled her eyes and crossed her arms, putting up a wall. "But I must also say, I do not believe that part of my life, or your father's for that matter, should be your concern."

"How can you be so stupid? You came here, made everything right and brought our family together, and now you're going to leave and destroy it all. I don't care how you spend your nights, but I do care how it will change everything for my brothers and sisters." She stepped closer, wishing to pass some comfort. It was difficult to determine how many emotions were coming into play at once, but she was more overwhelmed with the need to comfort the girl than anything.

"I've planned to leave this entire time. What difference does it make now?"

"Because when you go, he'll be heartbroken and turn back into who he was after my mother died. And you'll leave the rest of us here to pick up the pieces of your own selfish mess." She sighed, shaking her head to negate it all.

"That's not true, he'll be fine when I leave. You'll all be fine. I'm only a governess."

"You've never been only a governess to us, and you know it. And you're certainly not just a governess to my father."

"I am though." Liesl looked into her eyes, her gaze hard, but very slowly softening as they spoke. Maria wished she had braved the conversation much sooner. It pained her to know that she had suffered inside her head for so long.

"You once told me that people should only make love when they're married and in love."

"Yes." She took a deep breathe, terrified of where the conversation would lead. She truly had no idea how to fix things with Liesl.

"You're obviously not married. Do you love one another?" Her question hurt, but she couldn't decide exactly why. Maria bit her lip for a moment and eventually decided that honesty was her best option. Love had never been part of the plan, after all.

"No, we don't."

"Hypocrite!"

"Liesl, you don't understand."

"I'm not a child, stop speaking to me as such." She ran her hands through her hair, feeling a bit helpless.

"It's not something that's easy to explain."

"Why even do it then?" She gave a short, uncomfortable laugh, knowing full well that there was no way she would be able to explain why she had continued the affair, especially to a young girl. She could hardly explain it to herself. "If you can't answer me, I swear I'll run back in and tell them all."

"It feels good, okay. More than good." She received another dirty look, but continued, crossing her arms over her chest. "I know that makes me selfish and a hypocrite and immoral and all the terrible things you've called me, but it makes me feel free, and passionate, and amazing like I've never felt before...and disgusting and terribly guilty. Trust me, you can't say anything to me that I haven't said to myself."

"You're a mistress."

"Ah yes, a mistress, a whore, a selfish bitch, lets name them all!" She didn't mean to shout, but it seemed it was the first time she had truly discussed her situation in the open, and there were many things she had been bottling up inside as well. "I assure you, there is no terrible word you could choose that I am not right now."

"And you do it all because making love feels that good?" She rolled her eyes and sighed at the simplicity of the question; not quite.

"Don't get any ideas." Liesl shrugged, looking to the ground in a shameful way.

"It only hurt when I tried." Maria felt the blood rush to her head, she nearly fainted at the confession.

"You didn't."

"Not really. It hurt terribly, and I made him stop." A tear fell down her cheek; it seemed Liesl had needed to let a few things out of her head as well. Maria couldn't stop herself from rushing forward and taking her in her arms, a hug that was much needed and quickly accepted. They cried together for a moment, Maria doing her best to be comforting, even though she was completely taken aback by the revelation. The thought that her own actions could have somehow influenced the decision made her feel sick.

"What made you decide?" Liesl held tight to her, resting her head against her chest for comfort. Maria simply wrapped her arms around her small frame and continued to hold her.

"I thought I loved him."

"Rolfe?"

"Yes." She reached up to wipe a tear from her cheek before holding tight again. "I haven't seen or heard from him since though. It's been three weeks already."

"Was he upset with you?"

"I don't know. He mostly seemed concerned and left quickly." She sighed, her body rigid from anxiety. "I've been so scared that I may be pregnant."

"No, darling, not from that. He has to...finish." Her heart was pounding, not used to being one who actually knew how to answer such questions. "I'm so sorry I haven't been here for you through all of this."

"No, I've been so terrible to you." She pulled back and looked into her eyes. "I apologize for my behavior. I shouldn't have treated you in such a way."

"I think I can forgive, if you promise me one thing." Liesl nodded, wiping a stray tear from her cheek. "Please wait until you're sure you're in love to try again. I know I'm one to talk, but I really wish you would make this promise to me."

"I do promise. I know now that I'm not even close to being ready." She nodded, relieved, but flooded with emotion. "You won't tell father?"

"Not a chance, he'll come unglued." They shared a short laugh, Liesl giving her a small smile.

"Thank you, Fraulein Maria." She smiled, so glad she was hearing the sweet sound of her voice again. They began to walk toward the house, arms wrapped around one another. "I must admit, since we're sharing secrets, I had quite hoped that maybe you would stay, given the circumstances."

"Goodness, no. I can't continue like this forever."

"Before you said you weren't in love, I dreamed that you would be our new mother rather than Baroness Schraeder. It would have been so perfect." She swallowed hard, her breath getting caught in her lungs for a moment. It wasn't that the idea was so far fetched, she herself had briefly allowed her mind to wonder what would happen if she stayed too. But she had been quick to scold herself for the thoughts and move on, knowing it wouldn't be right. She could never stay with the promise of being a mistress her whole life, and there was simply no other option for her besides leaving. She didn't belong in that world, after all. There was no place for her. She needed to sort herself out...she needed help.