A/N: I can't stay away for too long so I have resurfaced with a Bechloe Yuri on Ice fic. It may also be because I just witnessed one amazing performance after another from the ladies Grand Prix finals this year so I was feeling inspired. There may be more reasons (which I'll mention on the last chapter update of this fic), but consider this a Christmas gift, yeah? :D

Disclaimer: I might not finish this until sometime in January, but this is a story I love so it will be finished on a timely manner! There are also some notable changes with who the characters are based on, but otherwise, the fic will be close to the anime story.

I don't own pitch perfect.

Beca Mitchell doesn't cry.

Well, at least not in front of anyone who could see.

She's gotten so used to staying tough, putting on a tough act and carrying on. A skater's life was told by the amount of times they got up after they had fallen down, carry on, and put on a good show. It was more than just a deep connection to music, it was about coming into life once the blade hits the ice, embracing that sense of freedom that only comes when their skating your best skate.

But a skater's life was also told by the heartbreaks, the near misses, that one jump they messed up, that one time they fell when they were so close to the dream.

The Grand Prix was one of the most prestigious stages in the world of figure skating. To secure a ticket to the finals, you have to win or at least place on the podium and accumulate enough points if you fail to do so in the two competitions you are assigned to in the series. Beca barely squeaked by this year, but at twenty three years old, by some miracle and against the dime a dozen skating hopefuls and Russian protégés, she did.

Only to mess up and flop under the brightest lights of one of the biggest arenas for their sport.

So what if she was crying in a bathroom stall? She kept under rotating her spins and messing up her jumps, falling flat on her face a good three times with her free skate. She didn't even want to remember the disaster that was her short program the other night.

Her phone buzzed with the latest news, alerting her of the outcome of the finals as it happened. Her idol, Chloe Beale, had won her fifth straight gold medal at the Grand Prix finals, beating her old time rival Aubrey Posen who landed the silver medal. Newcomer Luisa from Germany had made it to third place, narrowly beating the former Russian Olympic gold medalist.

Beca had no doubt the performances were the definition of perfection. She went straight to the bathroom after her performance, dodging interviewers as she left the kiss and cry with her coach. It was disappointing, to say the least. Her Grand Prix debut turning out the way it did. All eyes were on the three Americans who displaced the hot fresh talent coming from Russia and Japan that year, and in return, the pressure got to Beca and she crumbled to dust.

She didn't even want to read the online comments about her.

This trip would have been the dream. She didn't think she would win gold, not even silver, but she had hoped to impress and maybe get the bronze, properly meet Chloe, and proudly tell her that she had been the person who inspired such a wonderful performance out of her.

Now, Beca's only choice was to come back to the US in shame, maybe salvage her season with the Worlds in March.

Beca stayed in the bathroom a little longer than she had intended. The award ceremony had concluded by the time she tried to pull herself together. But every missed call from back home in Colorado had her crying in tears. It hurt each time her family called and told her she still did best her best and that they had faith that she would do better the next time. It hurt to feel like such an imposter, because she didn't quite see herself as a world class figure skater at the moment. She didn't feel like she even deserved her spot at the finals after the train-wreck of a performance she had earlier that night.

She was trying to control her breathing and calm down when her father sent her another message telling her it would be okay, it wasn't that bad, and that he was incredibly proud of her no matter how it turned out. Her mother would have been proud as well.

A new wave of tears overcame her at the thought of her mom who had passed away years ago, the first person to ever coach her as a child, the one who built up her confidence when she first decided to skate.

The quiet sobs uncontrollably escaped her lips as Beca tried to fight the terrible thoughts that crept from the deepest recesses of her mind. That's when the door to her stall was kicked open by an incredibly grumpy Aubrey Posen, her silver medal on display around her neck as she looked quite peeved at Beca Mitchell.

"Would you quiet down already?! Do you have any idea how uncomfortable it was to be in the next stall with all the sobbing?" Aubrey complained. "If you're gonna be such a baby, why don't you just quit. Mitchell, right? You have no right to call yourself a skater if you're more fragile than the ice."

Beca stopped crying right then and there, Aubrey's words stunning her silent as she watched the blonde figure skater harrumph her way out the bathroom, mumbling more and more complaints under her breath before she left.

Maybe she had a point.

Maybe the reason she had failed so terribly in the finals was because she shouldn't have been a figure skater in the first place. She was just a fraud.

Beca was pretty much on auto pilot after that. Having been so depressed the night before, she drank her way through her sorrows during the GPF banquet. While waiting for her flight back home, she had mulled over the decision of just calling it quits now and retire. She landed on deciding after the Word Championships, letting her performance in that competition decide.

She didn't know how to feel after her horrible Grand Prix experience this year. She felt even more ashamed when she caught a glimpse of both Aubrey and Chloe at the airport being followed by fans everywhere while their coach and her coaching team tried to keep them at bay. Aubrey was pretty much professional, and Chloe was quite warm with her interactions. She watched from out far as the red headed beauty, the defending champion, entertained each and every one of her fans. At one point Beca noticed Chloe's eyes landing on her. She gave her a bright smile, "Would you like a picture for the road?" Chloe asked her.

But Beca felt nothing but the shame and sadness that had surrounded her. This was not how she thought her first interaction with Chloe would be.

So Beca ran, she ran as fast as possible and hid in another bathroom stall before her flight.

Aubrey was right, how could she call herself a skater when she couldn't find the strength to stand back up now that she had fallen from a great height. Beca thought she could finally reach the pinnacle of her sport, or at least the best she could ever reach, when gravity came calling her back down to earth.

With a heavy heart, Beca reaffirmed her decision.

She would give her all during the Worlds, and if that wasn't enough, then it would be time to hang up her skates for good.

It had been three months since the disastrous Worlds. Jesse was restless as she waited for her best friend at the airport. Jesse had known Beca since they were five. He was there when she first picked up her skates, and decided to dedicate her life into becoming a figure skater. Jesse, while not a skater himself, had always been there by her side, cheering her on. The only time they've been apart was when Beca left for college, attending Barden University where her father once taught. She had just finished her degree at Barden, choosing not to attend graduation, still feeling down from the results of the World Championships where she finished last.

Beca wouldn't speak about it over the phone.

And it would appear she wouldn't speak about it in person either. Upon arriving, Beca talked to Jesse about anything and everything under the sun. In fact, it was the first time Jesse has heard Beca talk as much, though most of them were senseless chattering. It had been so uncharacteristically Beca that Jesse quickly grew very concerned.

Beca had a warm welcome home. Her father, who now ran their family's hot spring inn – Beca's grandfather had once gone on a so-called life changing trip to Kyushu Japan that he decided to open a Japanese onsen inspired hot spring inn in their small town just outside of Vail – and he tried to make home feel as relaxing for her as possible. Her step-mother, who Beca rarely ever talked to, also doubled up her duties of making Beca feel at home as much as possible.

Beca went through the motion of things as best she could. Jesse could see that there was most definitely something off with her best friend.

That night, during a late night visit to Beca's mom's grave, he found out why.

"I decided, it's time," Beca had said with a finality in her tone.

"Time for what?" Jesse clarified.

Beca did her best to put her best fake smile but she didn't give him a response.

The next day, Jesse spent most of his morning at the skating rink where Beca used to skate and train. The rink was owned by one of the Mitchell's family friends, and was now being ran by their daughter, Cynthia Rose, and her wife, Denise. This was Jesse's attempt at rustling up the cavalry.

"What's going on, J-man?" Amy asked, incredibly tired from a long night's shift as she dragged her feet into Cynthia Rose's office, the last one to have arrived. Amy ran and proudly own the best bar in town, the Bella's, which was typically open until two in the morning.

Jesse cleared her throat, wanting to get his friend's opinion, when Denise noticed Beca knocking on the door.

"What are you guys doing?" Beca asked suspiciously. Jesse had a dance studio of his own to run, Amy hated mornings, and while it wasn't inconspicuous for Cynthia Rose or Denise to be in the office, it was weird that no one was manning the front desk.

"Beca!" Denise greeted, doing her best to stir the topic clear of what Jesse could have said, "We were just wondering when you'd be walking in. We're not so busy this time of year, at least not like back when you still trained here, so we don't really open too early during the week. Weekends are still great for business though."

Beca simply nodded, accepting the answer. Even their family inn was experiencing the same trouble. It was hard to keep up with the bigger resorts that served as their competition.

"Oh, well, since you're all here and the rink isn't busy…" Beca started to say, motioning for them to follow her to the rink.

Jesse watched as Beca put her skate on, Cynthia Rose making a comment about how it's nice to see her skating on home ice again. Meanwhile, Amy and Denise compared notes on Beca, the two noticing that something was off about her.

Beca pulled out her phone and connected it to the speaker before heading onto the ice. The rink was smaller in comparison to the ones Beca now skated in. Theirs was a humble rink after all.

When the music started to play and Beca started to skate, Jesse quickly realized that Beca had intended to skate Chloe's own free program. Jesse watched in awe as he watched firsthand how much her best friend had grown, becoming quite an amazing skater in her own right. The jumps were mostly doubles and triples, not as ambitious as the quads that Chloe had mastered over the last five years, catching up to the Russian skaters who dared revolutionize women's figure skating, but Beca skated cleanly nonetheless.

If Jesse were being honest, he was mesmerized by her performance. Beca always connected well to the music, allowing her to move gracefully on the ice. Anyone who watched would feel the exact emotions the music and her skating conveyed.

"She's all grown up, huh? Our little shortstack," Cynthia Rose had commented, not being to tear her eyes away from Beca's performance.

Jesse smiled, it would seem that he was worried over nothing.

However, when the performance had ended, and the music had faded away, the words that came out of Beca's mouth had him very concerned.

"Thanks guys, I… well, I wanted to show you all that skate at the very least before I make my announcement official in the coming days. I figured what better of a swan song of sorts than to do a performance that could best honor the gal who inspired me to become a figure skater myself and give a clean skate I can be proud of in front of the people who had supported me relentlessly throughout the years."

"Wait, Shawshank, what do you mean?" Amy asked, using Beca's beloved nickname from all the time she got in trouble for skipping school to practice skating when they were younger.

"I'm retiring," Beca announced.

Jesse was stunned silent, Cynthia Rose and Denise were quick to express their own thoughts on the matter, encouraging Beca to give it one more go. They weren't lying when they said that Beca was quite amazing.

But Beca would hear none of it, she had made up her mind.

Jesse watched as Beca left, still talking with Cynthia Rose and Denise who still tried to remind her about her journey, about everything she has given to figure skating, because damn it, that girl has given her whole heart out to the sport. Jesse had wanted to say the same thing, however, he was too frozen, deeply rooted to where he stood, as he felt the heartache that Beca had undoubtedly felt herself with the decision she had just made.

One bad season, that was it.

Well, maybe not all of it.

Beca always struggled in big competitions because she would get too anxious, too nervous, and start to second guess herself.

That one bad season littered with his worst performances was also the one with her best skates. If she's as inconsistent as she had been, it would just be one heartbreaking defeat after the other, and Jesse could only empathize with her. Beca was as ambitious as they come. Whether or not she says it, she wants to be the best. At least one day.

She had often stated she'd like to reach Chloe's level one day.

But with the new competition that comes with every year, and the new skating revolution with the quads in the ladies' competition, it wasn't hard for Jesse to guess that Beca's faith in herself was wavering.

And in that moment, Jesse couldn't think of anything to do to help save his best friend from the shadows of doubt crippling her, weighing her down, and drowning out her hope and confidence.

If only she could see what we see in her, Jesse thought.

As he was wracking his brain for any idea, he then heard Amy sniggering right next to him, a mischievous glint in her eyes.

"There's no way we're gonna let you give up on your dreams that easily," Amy announced, more to herself, in impish smile on her, with her eyes fixed on her phone.

"Amy!" Jesse then exclaimed, quickly deducing what she had done.

"Oh, don't worry about it J-man. The methods are crude, but it will undoubtedly get results," she grinned, hiding her phone away.

And now Jesse was worried about two things.

But he could only hope for the best.