"Careful," Edward murmured as he helped Bella step out of his Volvo. Her legs were stiff as she maneuvered herself carefully out of the passenger seat. The sound of gravel crunching under her shoes made her heart beat a little quicker. Was it nighttime? Or morning? Bella couldn't answer either of her questions as she looked into the endless darkness and odd shadows that melded together. It's been days since she woke up, and still, her vision hasn't improved. The only consolation she had was Edward's hand which grasped hers gently—leading her forward.

"I'll go on ahead and take these to Bella's room," Jasper said as he walked past them, his footsteps fading quickly as he ran into the house with her luggage. Apparently, Edward and his brothers were quick to retrieve most of her belongings from Charlie's house—how that must've gone, Bella didn't bother thinking about it. But it was clear even without her sight that Edward was trying his best to keep his composure as his silence had been the only companion during the ride home.

"We're coming up to the first step," Edward said softly, wrapping his arm around her shoulders as Bella cautiously walked up the stone steps of the Cullens home. The sound of a door opening followed by Esme's kind voice made her stop and look up.

"Welcome home, Bella." Esme sounded genuinely happy to have the girl in her home; however, Bella didn't see the tinge of sadness that filled Esme's golden eyes as she took in her appearance.

After Charlie walked away from her, Carlisle and Esme didn't delay to reassure her that she was, in fact, more than welcome to stay in their home. Be a part of their family. However, a part of Bella wasn't too sure if she could ever belong with them—now that she was practically useless.

Bella accepted a loving hug from Esme and blinked into the darkness. Her eyes stung with unshed tears that welled up without her wanting them to, "Thanks, Esme." A couple of footsteps were heard approaching before they stopped a few feet away from where the two women were hugging.

"Look at what the cat dragged in. Took you long enough! We've been waiting all day for you, kid!" Emmett chimed, the happy tone in his voice containing his usual dimply grin.

I wonder if I'll ever get to see that stupid grin of his again...

Bella smiled despite the depressing thought that crossed her mind just now.

"Hey, Em." A hand landed in her shoulder, and she hated that she flinched the second Emmett touched her, not meaning to do so at all.

"Sorry," Emmett whispered before dropping his arm from around her shoulders—the instinct to hug his new sister becoming a reminder of yet another thing Jacob Black robbed from her.

"N-no...it's okay. Not your fault." Bella murmured back, hugging her sides as her cheeks warmed with the shame of having reacted that way with Emmett of all people. Emmett, who was the most charismatic, honest person she knew. How could she react that way towards him? Is this how it's always going to be? Will she always be afraid of another man's touch?

The thoughts and memories terrified her more than she cared to admit to herself and she tried her best to shut them all out to keep Jasper from realizing what she was feeling. But maybe all it took was to look at her face to know how she truly felt...

Edward's eyes grew sad as he watched Bella and Emmett's painful interaction from a distance, leaning against the front door with his arms crossed. If he could turn back time and prevent any of this from ever happening...who was he kidding though? Bella was right about what she'd said the night of her birthday party. He can't protect her forever and so far he hasn't.

But there was still an ache that coursed through him whenever he saw her injuries, the bruising on her pale skin that only seemed to worse before getting any better. The sorrowful gaze in her eyes that seemed so distant, frightened, and lost-

It'll be alright, Edward. Esme said through her thoughts, placing her hand on his shoulder affectionately. She just needs time to heal.

He nodded, grateful now more than ever to have his mother by his side - to guide him into the best way to help Bella recover. Edward wished he had his parents' gifts of compassion and love that always seemed to prevail no matter the odds.

He watched as Esme stepped up to Bella and smiled warmly at the girl who was now blushing a light shade of pink. Edward smiled, happy to see a genuine emotion from her that wasn't a false smile, "Bella, we're all so glad you're here. We have a bed all set up for you in the room right next to Edward's."

"T-thank you, Esme. I'm sorry-"

"None of that," Esme shook her head, "You're family now. And we treat our family with the same respect and love they deserve. That includes you too."

Bella's lips parted as she looked at Esme for a long moment, her brown eyes dancing with emotion as she looked between Esme and the wall behind the woman.

"Okay..." Bella breathed out an unsteady breath before looking back down to her shoes. "Thanks."

Esme mentioned as Edward helped Bella walk towards the stairs. "Why don't you take your time settling in and I'll be up to bring you something to eat so that you can take the medicine Carlisle prescribed to you?"

Bella nodded, attempting to smile, but it disappeared as soon as her lips quirked.

There was a numb feeling radiating throughout her body as Edward helped her up the stairs, his arm wrapped around her shoulder while her hand gripped the back of his shirt. Stopping halfway when Bella suddenly grew exhausted, she leaned against his side even more.

"Sorry..."

"Are you feeling any pain? Carlisle said to give you the painkillers if your back hurts for any reason."

"Yeah, I think so...I don't know," Bella placed her hand over her face, making Edward frown in concern at the panicked expression she had now. Her voice quivered as she admitted once more, "I'm sorry. I don't know..."

"Okay, love. Come here," without another word, Bella wrapped her arm around his shoulders and let him sweep her up in his arms and walk as quickly as he could toward her bedroom. She tucked her head against the crook of his neck and shut her eyes tight as a wave of nausea hit her. The panic she felt didn't help calm her one bit either and walking around without being able to see seemed to heighten everything around her. Sound, touch, and even smell hit her like a freight train, not stopping until she acknowledged everything around her.

It was too much...

As they made it up the flight of stairs, the sound of a door opening had Edward instantly calm down as Jasper granted him a compassionate look. His golden eyes focused on Bella, and soon, the panic she had been feeling was replaced by a much more peaceful emotion.

"Panic attack..." Jasper murmured, low enough that only Edward could hear it before Bella turned to search for Jasper. She held back the urge to flinch when a cool hand gently caressed her cheek for the briefest moment.

"Thanks, Jazz," Bella whispered, wiping a stray tear from her cheek with the back of her hand.

"Anytime, Bells." She heard the empath say as Edward walked into her bedroom and close the door behind them.

By the time Edward laid her down in the bed in her new bedroom, Bella was fast asleep—succumbing to Jasper's gift that helped her keep the nightmares away—if only for a little while.

Bella couldn't stand waking up and staring at nothingness. It frightened her more than her nightmares did in a way because whenever she did wake up, there was no light to prevent her from panicking, no familiar face to see who would comfort her. There was only one way to describe what she was feeling now—this nothingness she refers to felt like drowning.

Bella was drowning in this darkness, in the endless deep waters that dragged her down to the very bottom of the ocean.

Needing to find a way out of this dizzying feeling, Bella struggled to kick off the blankest over her legs and sat up in the soft bed Edward had settled her into.

Before she knew what she was doing, Bella was stumbling out of her bed and falling onto her knees as she lost her balance. Her hand stopped her fall by slamming against the nightstand and knocking over the bottles of her medications over, each one toppling onto the carpet.

Bella gritted her teeth in frustration right as she heard the door from across the bedroom opening. Edward was beside her in an instant as she continued to pat the floor to feel for the bottles, "Bella, are you okay? Did you fall off the bed?"

His hands, though gentle and wanting to help her stand back up, were unwanted at this moment, she thought with a sudden realization. Barely shrugging his hands away, Bella exhaled with exasperation, "I'm fine, Edward. Just stop crowding me," she closed her eyes and placed her hands over her face, "Please just stop."

Stop being so nice to me. I don't deserve it.

The silence that followed would have made her think he was gone, but she knew Edward better than that. She knew that her pain was hurting him as well on a whole other level, and her taking her anger out on him was only adding to his hurt. She wished she never said anything at all. Wished she could apologize and tell him that she didn't mean those words...but she didn't say either of those things.

After another moment, she heard him stand up before whispering, "I'm sorry, Bella...I'll be in my room if you need me, okay?"

All she could do was nod as she swallowed back the tears that had gathered in her throat. She waited to hear the soft click of her bedroom door closing before she sat back against the bed. Her hand hit a plastic round thing beside her and her fingers clumsily felt for it until she picked it up. Pills shifted against the plastic container as she held it up to her face. She squinted her eyes, trying hard as she might to see something—anything—that could grant her hope. But there was nothing, not a shadow or a blur of the object that she held in front of her.

Nothing. Nothing. Nothing.

Why is there nothing left?

Resting the bottle against her forehead, Bella took in a shaky breath as she clutched the bottle in her hand.

The despair she may have felt turned to sudden, white-hot anger that pushed her to throw the bottle across the room as hard as she could—regardless of the pain that radiated through her body from the movement. Her heart was beating fast as she let out a deep breath she'd been holding in.

The loud clatter of it making contact with the hardwood floor didn't make her feel any better.

Covering her face with her hands, Bella tried her best to muffle the soft sobs that she couldn't hold in anymore, but she knew the Cullens could hear everything—whether they wanted to or not. Worst of all? Edward could hear everything, too, and there wasn't a damn thing he could do to comfort her.

Not with this.

Thanks for reading x