Chapter Seven

"Well, I guess it looks like Breireicht thinks I'd be the best tour guide for you," Laudo grinned from beneath his helmet as he and Zidane entered the tall entrance of the castle. Nothing had changed at all. It was nearly like deja vu for Zidane, sucker punching him right in the stomach. He hadn't quite accounted for the shock of being in the castle again. For a moment, he was worried the bread and cheese were going to come back up on him. "You know, before I became a Knight of Pluto, I wanted to be an artist. I wanted to write poetry and perform in heartfelt theatrical debuts." They both stopped in the middle of the room. Zidane gazed up towards the tall stone arches that followed the vaulted ceilings. He looked over the portrait of Queen Brahne and from head to toe at the statues of knights. "Obviously, that didn't happen, but it's always nice when the rare moment to strut my stuff pops up. Hey, you know- I perform local poetry at a coffee house on Thursday nights, you should come sometime. Maybe there's something you'd like to share?"

Zidane paused and blinked, looking towards Laudo. "I don't really do poetry, sorry."

"Well, if you ever change your mind," Laudo shrugged. "So, obviously, this is the grand foyer. If there's ever an emergency, Knights of Pluto meet here. Squad Beatrix assembles in the garden. Tucked in the corners, those stairs leading down, are the libraries and studies. The Castle has a substantial library if you like to read. But it's not very often we patrol through there. Unless the scholar's see a rat. To the left and right are the commoner dining halls. Should dinner parties or benefit events happen, the main stage is the first floor right here."

"Got it," Zidane nodded.

Laudo began up the stairs. "We call this floor one and a half. There are some social rooms for more upscale matters, like meetings with other leaders… the important people, if you will. There's a storage room this direction," The soldier pointed as they continued around the square platform. "The reason we only call this a half floor, because besides the meeting wings, this floor leads to the balcony that overlooks the garden and airship dock. You missed a hell of a play yesterday. Tantalus came back for an encore presentation of I Want To Be Your Canary and this time, things didn't wildly go wrong! I was on the edge of my seat the whole time." Laudo sighed, clasping his hands together. "Ruby is such a force on the stage. I love her acting." Zidane pursed his lips from beneath his helmet. "Up the stairs here, to the true second floor, is where most the important stuff is." Together, they climbed the winding stairs and each step brought back a pulsating memory of when Zidane first lay eyes on Garnet. Laudo didn't notice how stiff his companion had grown beneath his armor. "To the right is just an upper balcony. Squad Beatrix typically stations there. The doors to the left here are strictly private. Only guards, distinguished guests, and the Queen may go beyond these doors. It's where the royal chambers are, the tower balconies, private studies and baths- the works."

"So, what's my route?" Zidane asked as they pushed through the doors. A familiar setting once again. An open air space, so large it would make anyone feel small. Zidane remembered briefly his panic racing through here, trying to find Garnet and Eiko. Within him, he could feel the rumbles of destruction vibrating through his bones. "Will I be in the castle, too?"

"I don't know," Laudo shook his head, pausing before the bridge that lead towards the private hall of the royals. "You don't even have a sword yet. Captain Steiner will assign you as necessary. It'd be great, though, if you could take over these back chambers. So many winding hallways… I get tired just thinking of it."

Just then, behind Laudo, the doors across the bridge opened. Zidane stiffened, making sure to mash his helmet low as the group of people appeared from the doors. It felt like, however, he was suffering another sucker punch all over. It was Garnet and Freya, who were having a very passionate conversation, it seemed. Zidane shivered beneath his armor as Garnet's long red boots echoed against the freshly polished marble. He slender body swung with all its grace as she looked to the tall Dragoon. The past year seemed to have been good to Garnet. Zidane's entire body ached as they emerged, coming across the bridge.

"Good afternoon, Laudo," Garnet grinned. She stopped and turned towards the soldier, who melodramatically swung himself into a somewhat clumsy salute. "If you're heading towards the back hallways, could you let a maid know that tea time has finished? I'm sure Quina will be pleased to hear there are leftover sticky buns."

"Yes, Your Majesty," Laudo nodded.

Garnet cocked her head to look at Zidane and he felt himself rivet in his uniform. Those dark brown eyes, the color of the coffee he'd drink at Morrid's, were directly on him. He tilted his head down to cast a shadow across himself. "Two of you on patrol this afternoon? What's the occasion? Is everything alright?"

"Oh, this is the newest recruit to the Knights of Pluto, Your Majesty," Laudo came to stand beside Zidane, slugging him in the arm. Zidane immediately saluted. "This is Zeke and from what Breireicht has told us, he's one of the greatest soldiers we could ever have."

"A pleasure to meet you," Garnet held her hand out. "I'm Queen Garnet til Alexandros. Welcome to our kingdom."

A shiver came over the young man. Just like that, he realized, everything was gone. He was nothing but a stranger to this woman, when months ago they had held each other in their arms, staggering out of danger that came from every direction. All the late night chats, the frightful feelings, the thoughts of hopelessness, and the desire for something better were long gone. The time they had spent confiding in each other, working together, becoming something cohesive was no more. It felt as if she wasn't even looking at him. After a moment, however, he kicked himself into gear and reached out, gingerly gripping her soft hand.

"Thank you, Your Majesty," Zidane said in his forced voice. "A pleasure to be here."

Garnet smiled politely and withdrew her hand. Zidane wished he could have held onto it for a moment more. Inside, his internal conflictions ravaged against the frame of his body, like a restless sea in a storm. He was kicking himself over and over again, proclaiming himself to be a fool. Why did he think that this was a good idea? Why didn't he just stay away? He never realized it would be this hard to stay invisible, but he held firmly to thought that perhaps everyone was truly better off without him. The way Garnet smiled- it reached her eyes. That's all he had ever wanted. Just for her to be happy. And though he couldn't be certain, at the moment he felt entirely unequipped to be Zidane Tribal. They didn't need him as much he needed them, he told himself. No one deserved to have a dark cloud, an Angel of Death, following on their heels like a lost puppy, constantly reminding them of everything they had to overcome just to find a semblance to life. He sensed a harmony in her melodious voice. He couldn't dare allow himself to undo all their work. It'd be like ripping the stitches out of a recovering wound.

"I'd love to stay and chat, but I have matters to attend to," Garnet said. She had taken on that royal tone again. "The garden will be having renovations done to it soon."

"New flowers?" Laudo seemed excited by the idea. "I've heard Lily's of the Valley are very fragrant, Your Majesty."

"I hope the florist has as good of an eye as you, Laudo," Garnet grinned. "Me and Freya are hoping to create a memorial for a dearly departed friend of ours."

"I'm sure it will be beautiful, Your Majesty," Laudo told her. "Well, I better keep showing Zeke the ropes of being a knight. It was a pleasure seeing you, Your Majesty."

"Same to you," Garnet bowed her head. "It was nice to meet you, Zeke. Should you have any concerns, please don't hesitate to let anyone know."

"Th… thank you, Your Majesty," Zidane replied, somewhat breathlessly. After a moment, Freya and Garnet continued on and Zidane released a sigh, tilting his helmet back up.

Laudo laughed, elbowing Zidane in the side of his chest plate. "Wow, first day on the job and you got to meet the Queen. Weimar is going to be pissed. You must be smitten by her!" Zidane looked after where she had disappeared to, almost begging her to come back in his mind. But what was the use? He wasn't Zidane anymore. His heart drooped at the idea. "Ah, you know I'm only kidding, right? I think every man in the kingdom has a crush on Queen Garnet. She is exquisitely beautiful. She'll make a man very happy one day if she ever allows a suitor to come in through the door. In the year she's been queen, she hasn't even entertained the idea of finding a companion. Rumor around the castle is that her 'dearly departed friend' was actually her lover." Laudo gestured for Zidane to follow him and they began making their way back into the private corridor that was drenched in old heirlooms, vases, and crystal chandeliers. "I'm not one to gossip, but the tabloids certainly don't hold back. I will be interested to see what the journalists squeezed out of the birthday gala."

Zidane was quiet, however, his mind drifting away from him, towards another time line that simply didn't exist.

…

"Laudo and Zeke aren't back from the second shift yet," Breireicht told Steiner as the Captain let himself into the barracks. The last wave of lunch was being served and the Knights of Pluto saluted to Steiner as he emerged into the dining hall. "I told him to give Zeke the full tour. You know Laudo… he really likes to give his best showmanship." Breireicht seated himself and fixed a bowl of beef stew, swiping a slice of sourdough from Dojebon's reach. "They should be back any moment. Laudo is due to swap with Kohel at the gondola."

"You're certain he has good intentions?" Steiner furrowed his brow. "A man of that magnitude may have alternate ideas about his work of being a knight. Did you do your due diligence, Breireicht?"

"Of course I did, cap'n," Breireicht nodded, brushing the bread crumbs from his lips. "He's just some kid, anyway. Sounds like he didn't want to mix paint anymore. Can't blame a guy for that. Imagine a whole life of just watching the paint dry on the wall…" He shook his head. "I assure you Captain I did everything I needed to. I know you and General Beatrix like consistency. You would have been excited, too, if you had seen his performance in the physical."

Steiner sighed, crossing his arms over his chest. "How convenient I had a pressing engagement during that time…" A wave of blood washed through his skull as he remembered his current predicament. The stress of the Knights of Pluto and taking on a new guard were very minuscule in comparison to the thought of him and Beatrix expecting a baby come winter. He still tried to work out in his mind how they could even fathom rearing a child with their commitments and schedules. He knew Beatrix was deeper in thought, too, and rearing the physical exertions that come with carrying a child. His stomach twisted for a moment. He lowered himself down into an armchair that sat in the corner of the front foyer, just beside the stairs. Steiner stared at nothing in particular as he waxed and waned between the excitement of new life and the burden of change.

"Is everything alright, Captain?" Breireicht asked, lifting his eyes from his steaming stew.

"Hm?" Steiner arched his eyebrows. "Oh, yes. Fine, fine. I was just thinking about this new recruit, that's all."

"He's on the team, right?" Blutzen asked behind a mouthful. "We could really use the help with patrol, Captain. Squad Beatrix always finds faults in our footsteps."

"With numbers like his, yes," Steiner nodded. "He has one final test, however: an interview with me."

"Poor bastard…" Haagen muttered beneath his breath, shaking his head.

Steiner glanced to the clock on the wall, pursing his lips. "Blast it, Laudo. It's five after! He's going to be late to his third shift. Why did you send the new recruit with the chatterbox?!"

"Sorry, Captain," Breireicht shrugged. "I didn't really consider that."

Steiner took a deep breath, stiffly adjusting himself in the chair. Again, he only stared at the door, willing the art-sick soldier and the new recruit to appear. He told himself to be patient, but it wasn't quite working. Idle again, his mind wandered towards the prospect of having a child. Would they have a boy or a girl? Who would it take after? He certainly hoped the baby had Beatrix's nose. And her spitfire attitude. Would their hair be darker like his or more of a shimmering chestnut like Beatrix's? Who in the world could this baby possibly be? Two more minutes passed before Steiner growled in frustration and stood.

"I'm going to find them right now! Kohel needs to be relieved for lunch and the new recruit has final business to take care of before he can sleep here," Steiner stepped towards the door. "If you see Laudo, tell him the Captain would like to have a word with him in regards to punctuality. This isn't his laid-back coffee house. We have rules here!" And with that, Steiner flung the door open, heading into the garden. The knights left at the table snickered behind their lunch at the prospect of Laudo getting chewed out.

…

Laudo and Zidane emerged from the castle into the sweet smelling garden. The sky was dark with heavy hanging clouds. It seemed they were in for a storm that night. Laudo took a breath of fresh air, pressing his hands to his hips. "Well, I think that's pretty much everything to show you in the castle. You should be set if, say, a dragon attacks us tonight. That is… if you get your sword," The wannabe poet grinned and looked towards the gathering clouds. "You know it's spring when it rains every evening in Alexandria. But you know what they say! Spring showers bring summer flowers!"

"Soldier Laudo!" He saluted on command at the soprano voice that was quite demanding. Zidane found himself also saluting as, with a pounding heart, he watched General Beatrix approach them. She seemed rather pale, perhaps just simply tired. But she kept her shoulders straight. "Captain Steiner has been looking all over for you. My second shift girls from the courtyard said you have yet to appear for your gondola shift. Have you no respect for your fellow soldier's schedules? What kind of example are you setting for our new recruit?" Beatrix gestured towards Zidane, looking at him from head to toe. Not a very tall boy, she noted, and he was rather thin. She found his numbers hard to believe in the moment. Zidane adjusted his helmet, tilting it down. "Go on, now, and fulfill your third shift. We will discuss this later."

"Y… yes, General!" Laudo was quick to scamper away. Zidane watched him bolt around the hedges, down towards the waterfront. He was slow to turn towards Beatrix, still lamely saluting.

"At ease," Beatrix told him and Zidane's hands snapped to his side. She took the time to inspect him once again. He cut the uniform well and had nice posture. It was easy to see through his armor, however, that he was young. In a way, it reminded Beatrix of a youthful Steiner, coming to the castle to find a direction in life after the war all those years ago. "Zeke, was it?" Zidane only nodded. "Breireicht showed me your papers. I must say, I was very impressed with how you performed. I had to meet you for myself. I'm General Beatrix. I lead the girl squadron of this castle. What brings you to Alexandria, soldier?"

Zidane was quiet for a few beats, his heart hammering in his chest. Beatrix had an eye for everything. She was the sharpest tool in the shed Alexandria had. He stood somewhat bowed before her, his helmet falling over his eyes. "My life was very monotonous in Lindblum. I was seeking a… change in pace."

"Well," Beatrix paced a few steps around him. Beneath his chest plate, his tail nearly thudded against the silver. "The life of a soldier is very much different from the world within an art studio. Have you ever held a sword before?"

"Yes, General."

"Can you fight with one?"

"I've never had to," Zidane shook his head.

Beatrix walked a full circle around him, her long white coat trailing behind her. She crossed her arms over her chest. "You can run fast and you're physically capable. But a soldier is useless without proper sword discipline. Tell me, soldier… do you intend on sticking around? Captain Steiner and I do not like to waste our time, nor should we waste yours."

"I've got no where else to go, General."

"Do you have family?"

"No."

"Where are they?"

"Dead," Zidane said very blandly. In his mind, he couldn't help but imagine the death of his own character.

"How long have you been on your own?" Beatrix asked, tilting her head. Zidane tucked his chin further down.

"For as long as I can remember."

Beatrix was beginning to open her mouth when the rattling of armor could be heard. Zidane could only watch as Steiner came around the corner, nearly breathless. But when he spotted Beatrix, he leapt. "Is this the new recruit?" Steiner approached the two and Zidane had to hold his breath to prevent himself from throwing up all over their shoes. Too many familiar faces in such little time, Zidane felt nauseated by the thought. "Where is Laudo?"

"I sent him on to his next shift," Beatrix told him. "This, however, is the infamous Zeke we've heard about all afternoon."

"Yes, yes," Steiner nodded, also eying Zidane head to toe. The young man did his best to stand straight, though he was feeling rather woozy as the two inspected him. "You are the man who can run a mile in less than seven minutes. I must say, Zeke, your application was quite impressive. We've been in need of new recruits. We're quite lucky we've found someone like you. I'd like to speak to you further, however. I'm sure you have a moment for the Captain."

"Yes, sir, of course," Zidane's voice nearly cracked.

"Great, let's go this way," Steiner gestured towards the eastern wing of the garden. Steiner glanced back to Beatrix. She decided to set off to check on the other guards despite a pounding headache setting on. Zidane kept his eyes trained forward as Steiner bobbed at his side. He distracted himself with the blooming roses. He told himself over and over again in his mind that it was crucial to play it cool. He needed to think before he spoke. All the charm, the desire to make people laugh, it had to be switched off. Zidane took in a deep breath as he focused on who he wanted Zeke Tisdoll to be known as. A straight-laced man, he thought. Someone who did their job and nothing more. He had to be the model soldier so as not to draw attention to himself. They entered a circular plaza with a tall stone placed at the center. A fresh wreath of flowers sat amongst the neatly trimmed grass. For a brief moment, Zidane recalled finding Garnet here, rising above the ashes of her sorrows like the beautiful phoenix she was. "What do you know about being a soldier, Zeke?"

Zidane blinked beneath his helmet, being sure to adjust it. "It's all dedication, Captain."

"Yes," Steiner looked to Queen Brahne's epitaph, floating through a different time in life momentarily. "But what kind of dedication?"

Zidane thought carefully. "Whatever form of dedication is needed in the given moment," Zidane said, turning away from Steiner to peer down the long walkway where Garnet had cut her hair. He felt much more at ease with his back to the Captain. "Dedication, to me, means you should protect what's important and never give up on yourself or anybody else." Gently, the water lapped up against the sloping stone and Zidane found himself drifting with the wake. "Every day I wake up and wonder who I want to be. Or who I should be. I think that's the whole point of dedication; figuring out what part it plays in your life."

Steiner watched the new recruit's back for a moment. He pursed his lips and lowered his eyes. For a brief second, he recalled an old friend. "You sound very wise for someone your age," Steiner said. "I imagine your time as an art assistant gave you plenty of room for reflection. I'd like to think your parents are very proud of you."

Zidane slowly looked over his shoulder. "I don't have any parents."

"My apologies," Steiner bowed his head. "Is that why you've come here?"

"Yeah, I guess so," Zidane nodded. "Before this, I was without direction in a lot of ways in my life. When the war started last year, I came to realize a lot of things about living. That every day is not promised and the people you love are not forever. Everything is only fleeting. Might as well do something good if you can, y'know? I just want to keep doing something… something right." Zidane shook his head. "I want to be redeemable."

He heard the racket of Steiner's armor and the Captain appeared beside him, gazing out towards the wing of the castle that grew before them. The water rippled, always on the move, just like their own minds, it seemed. "That was a very honest answer, Zeke," Steiner said, somewhat somberly. "I can't say any soldier has been as honest as you have been. Even I wasn't truly honest with myself when I decided to join the ranks. But you're right. We all come looking to brandish the sword and bear the Alexandrian crest because we want to be important. Valid. We want to try and leave a mark, one way or another. Whether that be giving a man a permanent scar or helping protect this kingdom."

"Well…" Zidane tilted his head. "I think that's what I'm looking for, Captain."

Steiner turned to face the tall main structure of the castle. His eyes followed the gold paned windows, the curves of the four structural towers. "How good are you at keeping a secret, soldier?"

"Sir?" Zidane barely lifted his eyes.

"I won't lie, soldier, you seem very well put together. I like your attitude, you seem clearheaded, and if you really do have the endurance Breireicht claims you have, I think you're destined for a little more than just garden strolls," Steiner folded his hands behind his back. "I still would like you to spend the next week working every shift. Gondola duty, garden patrol, castle checks, the works. Should you perform well doing that and satisfy my requirements, I believe you're exactly the person I didn't know I was looking for."

"What do you mean?" Zidane furrowed his brow, looking at the castle now.

"I have a desire to shift some of my duties," Steiner said. "As Captain, I have more pressing matters at the moment that require very tender care. I couldn't decide who I'd choose amongst my knights, but I believe you're the perfect fit. See, Zeke, my duties as Captain extend personally to Her Majesty. As does General Beatrix's. We report directly to her and offer other services, such as protection and somewhat of an advisory role. I would like to see you as Queen Garnet's personal bodyguard and correspondent."

Zidane thought he was going to tip over. He looked to Steiner but immediately turned his face away again. His heart was nearly thunking against his chest plate and he was somewhat winded for a moment. "Me?" Zidane said, keeping his voice even. "The new guy in town? The person you only asked one interview question?"

"Sometimes you have to go with your gut," Steiner grinned, placing his hand to Zidane's shoulder. The young man felt so warm in his armor. Just between three inches of metal, Steiner genuinely had no idea who he was speaking to. "That's a very cardinal rule of being a soldier. My gut is telling me to trust you. Something about you makes me want to." Steiner paced a few steps away. "However, you're not to speak of this impending matter to anyone until I'm happy with your performance. Can you keep a secret, Zeke?"

Zidane shuffled his boots against the familiar cobblestone and pursed his lips. After a moment, he nodded to Steiner. "Yes, Captain."

…

The rain pelted against the tall wall length windows of Garnet's personal study that night. The thunder was long and ongoing and the lightning cast shadows across Garnet's desk. The young woman sat hunched forward, her palm to her forehead, as she pored through another letter from her people, again begging for lower tariffs on linens and textiles from Lindblum. She sighed and laid her quill down. They wrote just about every other day. Wearily, she looked to her stack of unread propositions and wondered just how many of them had to do with textiles. Garnet had focused on more pressing matters in her first few months as Queen. The southern region of Alexandria was dipping into poverty. Garnet had established a new market in the area and designated a music area nearby. This helped create jobs and bring more prosperity to the area. She had managed to work deals with the farmlands between Lindblum and Alexandria. Generously low shipping rates, the people of Alexandria had even more access to fresh food. She had constructed an entire River Quarter in the east, providing places for new bakeries, tailors, shoe makers, and other artisans. Garnet wanted to think she had made great strides forward, but the more letters she received, the less she felt like she was doing. The weekly civil meeting was to happen soon. Those were hard for Garnet. She was forced to sit at a table and furiously write and speak directly to those with complaints or proposals for Garnet. Sometimes they were less than civil meetings.

A crash of thunder roused her from her thoughts and she sat back in her chair, gazing around the lonely room. Only dark paintings of ancestors peered down on her. The nearby clock chimed ever so faithfully. It was nights like this when Garnet's heart sank the most. She didn't know what it was about a thunderstorm that evoked thoughts of Zidane. Maybe it was because he had always been such a calming person to be around. Even the most windiest storms in a tent with him couldn't make her be scared. Now she sat in a comfy, sturdy castle and where was he? Garnet tilted her head back. She wished she knew. Another bolt of lightning went off and Garnet turned her head to look towards a table, where a rolled up parchment lay. Freya had commissioned an artist to sketch out the plaque she had envisioned for Zidane. Garnet had told her friend she'd put it at the top of her list, but she had lost the motivation to open it upon returning to her study. She knew Freya was being so thoughtful and kind. But for Garnet, the idea really did twist her up inside. How could she bear to look at his name coated in bronze? It would only truly confirm for her that's he really gone. She wished she could make Blank understand her hesitation to go back out there. It put a strain on the Alexandrian Castle. Between the men and resources needed and after all the fruitless efforts, Garnet couldn't keep doing it. She couldn't make herself give into the hope again but she also never wanted to believe he was gone. Blank and Tantalus couldn't go by themselves, either. She would have to live with the guilt if something happened to one of them.

Garnet sighed as gazed across her desk. Just beyond her windows, the storm lit up in a magnificent show in the sky. There, leaned against the back of the desk, was the powdery pink invitation Lady Hilda had given her before they departed back for Lindblum that afternoon. Her aunt must have spent a fortune on them. It was the invitation to the Airship Gala in a few weeks. Garnet very much so disliked attending balls and social events. Everything felt so forced. As Garnet picked the invitation up to read it, a small slip of paper fell out from the inside. Garnet furrowed her brow as she reached for it, recognizing Hilda's handwriting that was arguably just as loopy as she were.

Just in case you wanted it, darling, here is Liam's mailing address. XoXo.

The Queen nearly rolled her eyes as she discarded it, barely even looking to the numbers scrawled below. As the leader of this kingdom, many people looked to her. But often times, Garnet felt as if no one was actually listening. Even though her Aunt Hilda didn't live here, it felt like she was the biggest criminal of this offense. Garnet adored Lady Hilda, but often times when she had her mind set on something, it was hard to convince her otherwise. Liam was a nice boy, Garnet acknowledged that. But there simply was no true spark, she was certain. When he set his hand against her, it didn't tingle like Zidane's touch once did. She couldn't expect every boy she met to leap off a balcony for her twice, but Zidane had clearly set the bar too high. Damn you, Zidane, she wanted to say. But she couldn't. Her father had always told her as a child that the heart wanted what it wanted. Well, hers wanted Zidane. Liam nor Lady Hilda or anybody else for that matter could ever reach the fathoms of her being like Zidane did. For once in her life, she felt like somebody understood her. Through all the laughs, the exhaustion, the tears, the yelling; she had only grown to love him more for everything little thing he did. She didn't want to have her heart on the line like this anymore, but she couldn't give up on him. Garnet couldn't even comprehend the idea of Zidane being dead.

Garnet tilted her head back in her chair, gazing towards the embossed invitation that glittered in the lightnings strikes. It was like she was looking at a fate sealed for her. But what did destiny have in mind?