Six ways to sunday.
Idiom
Meaning: Thoroughly or completely; in every possible way; from every conceivable angle.
Six Ways to Sunday
Chapter Four- Breakeven
When Mac get home, he's a bundle of nerves and anxiety. He had already recited over ten break up speeches in his head. None of them would suffice. None honored what he had with Desi enough. All of them would hurt her.
He also knows if he doesn't say the right thing she can and will kick ass.
He doesn't expect that after his break up with Desi he and Riley would immediately start dating. He just knew that if he was alone with Riley again, they would both come out the room as dishonorable people. He didn't want that for himself and certainly not for Riley.
Desi values the truth or at least she says she does. They both keep things from each other. It's time they ask themselves why they've never felt comfortable enough with each other to be completely transparent. Like he's been with Riley. The thought makes him feel like a bastard.
But did it make a difference that he's a bastard for the sake of Riley?
"Desi?" he called out for her in the dead silence. He had left her sleeping when he left this morning. Maybe she's at the store. He's comforted knowing he has a few more minutes to get his thoughts organized. Or at least that's what he thinks. When he opens his bedroom door Desi is curled up in bed shaking from her sobs.
Mac panics, wasn't the crying supposed to come after the break up? Not that he thought she would cry. Desi just wasn't the type.
"Desi?" He stooped down in front the bed next to her and she tries to turn away, frantically wiping at her tears.
"I'm sorry." she said.
"What are you apologizing for. Tell me what's wrong."
She doesn't. And he expects that. He does the only thing he can do and holds her. He slips into bed next to her and holds her until her sobs become slow and silent tears. Only then she's ready to talk.
"Today would have been our anniversary." she said slowly. Mac knows exactly who she means. The words 'replacement' ring in his ears and cuts him like a knife all over again. He doesn't respond because he doesn't know what to say to her. They're in a complicated situation. He can't be jealous and self-righteous when he had been begging Riley to kiss him only hours ago.
He just rubs her back and listens to her. He has thought about Desi's fiancé. Wondering what kind of person he was. If he and Desi fought a lot or if that's something unique to them.
"There's this...whole inside me..."
She doesn't finish her sentence so Mac finishes it for her in his head. A whole he can't fill. And would never be able to. Knowing all these things doesn't make his predicament any easier. He can't break up with her like this. It would be like kicking her while she downs. He would wait it out a little longer until she felt a little better. He and Riley could wait. They had waited all this time after all.
Desi doses off from exhaustion and Mac finally slips away from the bed. He could use a nap as well but his mind is too busy to fall asleep. He wanted to talk to Riley and explain everything. He took his phone and quietly pads out of the room. When he's on the deck he looks down at his phone and sees an incoming call from Matty.
That night they were all piled into the war room listening to Russ and his briefing about the coordinated heist. He can feel the nervous energy from Riley all the way on the other side of the room. They're both fidgety and visibly uncomfortable. If the others didn't have their eyes on the information on the screen the others would catch on.
Mac is hoping he can get a moment to talk to her before they head for the plan. When the briefing is complete and they all file out of the war room, Riley remains in the room with Russ and Matty. Riley's back is facing him but from the looks of Russ, they were having an argument.
He decided to wait in the hallway outside the war room so he can catch her as soon as she leaves the room.
Riley would understand. She always did.
In the war room, Russ turns to leave, switching sides with Riley. His hand is on the door handle but he and Riley still seem to be exchanging heated words. Matty is trying to placate both sides, unsuccessfully. Their eyes meet and hers flickers away. She's nervous which is the most natural reaction to the ways they left things hours before.
He just has to wait until Russ is done to get a few minutes with her. Tell her what happened with Desi and beg her for her patience.
"Mac," Desi calls behind him.
"Before we go out there I just wanna...thank you for putting up with me. I know this whole thing is a mess. I don't know how to do this."
"That goes for me to." he said.
"I think I'm going to move out—and no I'm not breaking up with you but I need my space to sort out my…feelings."
He sighs and Desi misinterprets it. "Please don't fight me on this." she said. He didn't want to fight it. That's the problem. He's tired of always having to jump over hurdles in the relationship.
When he doesn't say anything, she smiles appreciatively.
She kisses his cheek and squeezes his hand before disappearing down the hallway.
When he looks up, of course, Riley's eyes are on him. Russ and Matty were gone, probably slipped out when he was talking to Desi. He wants to fall to the ground and scream in frustration.
Tablet in hand, Riley brushes past him. Her expression was neutral. Like she hadn't seen anything. Like it meant nothing. Like she had expected it.
A/N: Also thank you for over 20 000 views on Moments like This. That's insane.