Hey babes! Back again with a new story for ya! Been working on this one for a little while, and I think I finally got it how I want it, so I'm giving it to you. I personally love this idea, which is basically Mac coming out of the hyperbaric chamber with amnesia. This is a good one, ya'll. :)
Enjoy!
Waiting and hoping for Mac to stop flatlining is excruciating. Waiting and hoping for him to say or do something after he comes back is almost as bad. This entire scenario is her worst nightmare come to life and she doesn't know how much longer she'll be able to handle it. She can't lose him like this.
Relief floods through her system as soon as Mac opens his eyes, but she knows she won't be able to fully relax until he gives some kind of indication that he's okay. She needs to know that he's okay for her sanity.
Is he gonna remember us? Desi's words from just moments ago ring in her head, but she tries to push the thought away. After everything they've gone through together, she can't imagine a world where Mac doesn't know her anymore. Losing him like that would probably be more painful than watching him die. No, she knows it would be. Because he'd still be alive, but he wouldn't know her. Not seeing the recognition in his eyes and the smile on his face whenever he looks at her would be painful beyond belief.
Breathing deeply and shaking her head enough to clear the thoughts away, she focuses her attention on Mac. She watches carefully as he looks at her and then pushes against the bed so he's sitting up.
His eyes dart to everyone in the room surrounding him, his brows furrowing tightly, and then they lock back onto her. "What's going on?" he asks.
Riley's heart sinks into her stomach and her throat constricts. Mac doesn't remember anything that just happened. How could he have forgotten everything? And if he forgot what just happened, then chances are high that he's forgotten all of them too. How could he have just—
"Bozer? Riley? Please... can one of you tell me what's going on?"
Her breath catches in her throat at his words. Mac hasn't forgotten everyone. He hasn't forgotten her. The realization makes her ecstatic. But there's a nagging feeling in the pit of her stomach that keeps her from being too excited.
"Well, we got rid of the nanobots," Bozer tells him with a smile. "You and Riley are officially free of the government's control."
"Isn't that great?" Desi speaks up, moving closer to the bed and resting a hand on Mac's shoulder.
Riley sees Mac flinch, just barely, but she shakes it off as an after-effect. He's probably still a little jumpy from everything that's happened. He'll relax and then be happy with Desi again. And she'll be happy that he's okay but still heartbroken that he's with someone else.
Mac nods slowly, his brows furrowing further as he glances around the room. "Uh, yeah, it is. One question, though. Who are you?" he asks, looking straight at Desi.
Riley clocks the second the realization hits Desi. Her heart truly breaks for the other woman. Having someone you care deeply about forget you is something she never wants to experience, and she would never wish it on anyone.
"And who are you?" Mac asks, his eyes drifting over to Russ. "Where's Matty?"
"I'm right here, Blondie," Matty announces from the monitor on the other side of the room.
Mac whips his head around toward the screen, letting out a breath of relief at seeing their boss. He turns back around to face them all again, but he still seems tense and on edge.
Riley keeps resisting the urge to reach out to him. She can't right now, though. Not with what just happened.
"How are you feeling?" Matty asks.
Mac swallows thickly, shifting a little on the bed. "Uh, I don't...I don't know. Everything's still kind of fuzzy."
"Dr. Sandria, is that normal?" Matty questions. "What's happening to my agent?"
"I'll have to run some tests to be sure, but it sounds like Mac is suffering from some form of amnesia. Though, it's unclear right now how much he remembers."
"He must have lost the last couple of years if he can't remember Russ or Desi," Bozer pipes in. "Mac, what's the last thing you can remember clearly?"
Mac shifts on the bed again. "Um...I think...watching Die Hard with Riley and falling asleep on the couch."
Riley's brows furrow together tightly. "How is that possible?" she asks, glancing up at the doctor.
"Wait, that didn't happen?" Mac asks.
Riley shakes her head. "No, it did. But it was just the other day. How can you remember that, but not Desi and Russ?"
Mac shrugs. "I don't know."
Riley keeps her eyes trained on Mac as everyone around them starts discussing what exactly could be happening, and the different courses of action that can be taken moving forward. She tunes all of it out, though, just focuses on Mac as he sits on the bed, his hands fidgeting at his sides. It's too bad they don't have any paperclips on hand, he would probably appreciate having something to do right now. But she can see just by the look on his face that all of this is starting to get to him, the realization that he doesn't remember the last couple of years. She hates seeing him look so lost and confused, not knowing what's happening.
"Guys!" she speaks up loudly enough to be heard over all the voices. Everyone stops and looks at her. "Since this is happening to Mac, why don't we let him decide what to do next?"
Mac gives her a tiny hint of a smile. "Thanks, Riles." He breathes deeply, glancing at everyone. "I think right now I just want to go home. Can...can whatever ideas you guys came up with wait until tomorrow?"
"I believe so," Dr. Sandria replies. "If this is just a temporary thing, then it could easily correct itself overnight. And then we can run tests in the morning to see if there's any lasting damage."
Mac nods once. "Okay. So I can go home, then?"
"Yes, you can," Matty answers. "Bozer, make sure he gets home okay."
"Sure thing, Matty."
Riley clocks the second the confusion passes over Mac's face. She takes a small step closer to him. "Hey, what is it?"
He looks at her with furrowed brows. "You're not coming?"
"Uh, no. I'm...I'm probably gonna go back to my place and try to get some sleep as well."
"But…aren't we...don't we live together?"
She opens and closes her mouth a few times, avoiding looking up at anyone. "I mean...I used to live at your place for a while."
Mac blinks. "Oh."
Riley watches Mac's face, takes in the way his body is slumped forward just a little, and she can't take it anymore. She breathes deeply. "You know what, now that I'm remembering correctly, I do still live there." She tries to ignore the feeling she gets at the way Mac's entire face lights up and smiles gently at him. "I guess that machine must have messed with my memory a bit too." She looks around at everyone else and pulls her lips in tight. "I'll make sure he gets home, guys. Don't worry."
"Let us know the second his symptoms get any worse," Matty instructs.
Riley nods. "Will do." She turns her attention back to Mac and offers him a small smile. "Are you ready to go?"
He nods. "Yeah."
She helps him stand from the bed and then they're saying quick goodbyes to everyone on their way out of the lab so they can change and then leave. She can hear the chattering start up again once they're on the other side of the doors, but she does her best to ignore it. Her focus right now needs to be on Mac, on helping him adjust to whatever memories he does or doesn't have of the last couple of years. And there's no telling how long his memory is going to be affected, so she's just going to have to hope for the best.
Once they make it back to Mac's place, Riley hesitates only for a moment before going inside with him. If he believes that they're still living together, then the best thing to do is continue to go along with it, right? There's no point in upsetting him and making him more confused by everything. And she has lived with him before, so it's not like it'll be that much of an adjustment for her. She'll just stay in her old room and check on him periodically to make sure there's no further damage to his memories.
The second they're both inside the house with the front door closed behind them, Riley finds herself being pulled into a tight hug; Mac's arms are around her waist and his head is buried deep in the crook of her neck. Again, she hesitates for just a second before wrapping her arms around him as well.
She smiles when he slowly starts to rock them from side to side, something that he always does when they hug, but she doesn't know if he's aware that he does it. She gently rubs a hand up and down his back while they hug, more than willing to stay just like this until Mac's ready for it to be done.
Eventually, Mac pulls back but keeps his arms around her, letting out a heavy breath. "My head is so quiet right now," he tells her. "But it's extremely loud at the same time."
"It's probably just your amnesia, right?"
He frowns deeply. "I still can't believe I have amnesia. I've read about people getting it before, but I never imagined it would happen to me. It just seems like one of those things that would be impossible, you know?"
She nods. "Yeah, I get it."
"But despite however much I've forgotten, I'm glad I didn't forget you."
She smiles. "Believe me, so am I." Her smile falters. "There was a moment, very briefly, where I thought that you did. And I was terrified. I honestly don't know what I'd do if you had forgotten me too."
Mac smiles softly. "Well, I don't think we'll ever have to find out. Because there's no way I could forget the person who brought me back."
Riley's brows furrow slightly. "What are you talking about?"
"You brought me back, Riley. All I remember from being in that chamber is just this...haze, but then I heard you. And I saw you. I saw different moments between us from over the years, and I heard you begging me not to leave." He gently cups her cheek in his hand and if it's at all possible, his smile softens even more. "You brought me back, Riles. The future Mrs. MacGyver brought me back and I think that's pretty damn perfect."
Riley's breath catches in her throat when Mac's words register. "What did you just say?"
Mac sighs, his hand dropping from her face to go back around her waist as he smiles. "Don't worry, I'm not proposing right now, I wouldn't just spring it on you like that. But I am determined to put a ring on your finger eventually, Miss Davis. And then you'll be stuck with me forever."
Riley swallows thickly. "Mac, do you think we're together?"
His brows furrow. "What kind of question is that? I don't think we're together. I know we're together. We have been for a few years, the best years of my life."
Riley shakes her head, extracting herself from Mac's arms while her heart breaks at the look on his face. She was fine going along with whatever his memories had conjured up for him but pretending to date him like this would be way too painful for her. "We're not together, Mac."
His entire face falls. "What?"
"We're just friends," she says, but it doesn't stop the ache inside her chest. She desperately wishes the statement was false, that they were more than just friends. But she can't let him go on believing that they're more than what they are. Not when she knows it'll absolutely crush her the moment his memories return and he goes right back to Desi.
Mac shakes his head, his brows furrowing again. "No, that...that doesn't make any sense."
"I'm sorry, Mac. I'll still stay to make sure that nothing gets worse overnight, but I can't, in good conscience, let you go on believing that we're dating. Trust me when I say that it's for the best."
Mac swallows. "If we're not dating, then why is my head telling me that we are? Why does every single memory I have of you make me feel like I won the lottery by having you in my life? And why can I picture so vividly every moment that made me fall more in love with you?"
Riley fights back the tears that have slowly been building, watching Mac carefully. She takes in the look of pure desperation on his face and it doesn't do anything to help the growing ache in her chest. "I...I don't know, Mac," she says quietly. "I don't know why that's happening. The effect that the chamber had on your memories must be worse than we thought."
Mac shakes his head, his jaw tightening. "No. Don't tell me that this is happening because of that chamber. I may not remember the last few years if what everyone said is true, but this isn't just something happening in my head, Riley. It's happening in my heart too," he emphasizes his words by placing his hand on his chest. "You're right at the center of it, and it feels right. It feels normal, like the most natural thing in the world."
She swallows thickly, shaking her head. "It's not real, Mac. None of what you're feeling is real."
Mac lets out a frustrated breath, dropping his hand from his chest and then running it through his hair. He looks directly at her, his beautiful blue eyes boring into hers. "Don't tell me how I'm feeling, Riley. Don't tell me that what I feel for you isn't real. Don't me that I don't lo—"
"You can't!" she shouts, her resolve finally breaking as the tears start to stream down her face. "You can't feel that way about me, Mac. Because if you say those words, then I'll have to say them too. I'll have to admit that I've felt that way about you for a long time. And if I do that, and this goes anywhere, then there's a chance that I could lose you, and that will break me. So you can't feel that way about me, Mac." She steps past him and moves through the house, hastily wiping the tears from her face.
"Wait. Where are you going?"
"To bed," she responds, barely glancing over her shoulder. "I told you that I'd stay to keep an eye on you and I meant it. Because I'm your friend, Mac. And that's all I'm ever going to be, okay? So please...please don't say it."
Without waiting for a response, she continues down the hall toward the spare room, closing the door tightly behind her when she gets inside. She leans back against the door and tilts her head back, staring up at the ceiling as more tears silently make their way down her cheeks.
She hates that she's feeling like this, hates that Mac has taken up so much of her heart that he can break it without actually being in a relationship with her. But maybe she needs to feel this, maybe she needs to finally let herself cry about it, about him, so that she can finally start to get over him. Because she can't keep living with this heartbreak. She won't.
.
.
.
The next morning, Riley moves on autopilot in the kitchen, starting the coffee pot and then grabbing a bowl out of the cabinet and the box of cereal off the counter for breakfast. Though, maybe it could also be considered muscle memory since it's the same basic routine she had when she lived with Mac before. She misses it, honestly, living with Mac. It'd been so incredibly easy, and she always enjoyed the little routines they'd gotten themselves into. She misses all of it.
Leaning forward against the counter as she eats her cereal and waits for the coffee to be done brewing, she thinks over everything that happened last night. Part of her hates that she let herself say those things, that she all but admitted to exactly the way she feels about Mac. Another part of her is relieved that it's finally out in the open, that she no longer has to completely hide.
She hasn't seen Mac yet this morning, though, doesn't know if he's awake yet. So she has no idea how he's feeling about it all. She has no idea if he's regained his memories or if his amnesia has gotten any worse. She fears for the worst, of course, that he'll have completely forgotten about her.
Maybe it'll be a silver lining, maybe she won't have to worry about his feelings because he won't even remember her. She knows it'll hurt, though, knows that it'll hurt more than anything else ever has. And she's not sure she's prepared to deal with that.
The sound of the front door opening and closing pulls her attention away from her breakfast. She stands up a little straighter when she sees Mac stepping inside, looking exhausted, to say the least. She watches as he runs a hand through his hair and starts moving through the house.
Mac stops short when he sees her, his eyes going wide for a split second before relaxing again. "Riley. I...I wasn't sure if you'd still be here when I got back."
"I was hungry."
He smiles. "Right. So, uh, how'd you sleep?"
"Fine. You?"
He shrugs. "Could have been better."
Things grow silent and she hates how stilted things seem to be between them now. They don't do stilted conversations, that's not them. She just wants things to be back to normal, wants them to be back to normal.
She shifts a little on her feet. "Were you out on a run?" she asks, hoping to get the conversation moving again.
Mac hesitates. "No. I was with Desi."
Her heart sinks without her consent. Of course, he was there. "Oh. So you got your memories back, then. That's good."
He nods, taking a few steps closer. "Yeah. I woke up this morning, and it took a little while, but I remember everything. And I want to thank you for staying last night to keep an eye on me."
Riley shrugs. "That's what friends do."
Mac nods, looking down and shifting on his feet. "Right, friends. I uh, I actually wanted to talk to you about that." He takes a deep breath and looks up at her. "I don't want to be friends with you anymore. I can't be friends with you anymore."
She pulls her lips in tight and nods sharply, doing her best to ignore the way her heart is breaking. "I see." She takes a deep breath and moves out from behind the counter. "Well, I guess I'll leave, then. And I should probably give you your key back too. Because people who aren't friends shouldn't have one of those."
"Wait, Riley, you didn't let me finish."
She stops and turns around to look at him. "You don't need to finish, Mac. I get it." She lets out a humorless laugh as she fights back the tears she thought she got all out last night. "I mean, I don't really get it. Because I thought that I meant something to you, you told me that I did, but clearly, it was all just a load of bullsh—"
"Riley!"
"What?"
Mac takes a few slow steps across the floor until he's right in front of her. "If you had let me finish talking, you would know that I can't be just your friend anymore because I want to be so much more than that with you."
Riley's breath catches. "What?"
He steps closer, gently cradling her face in his hands. "You are everything to me, Riley Davis, my entire world. I've known how I felt for a while but I was scared to admit it because I didn't want to lose the bond we already had. But I know...I know deep within my soul that we could be amazing together. If you'll give me the chance to prove it to you. I don't want to go another moment not being yours."
Riley stays silent as she stares up at Mac, her heart racing inside her chest as her mind processes everything he just said to her. It's what she's wanted to hear him say since the day they pushed a bomb out of a building together and she realized her intense feelings for him. And now she doesn't know what to do.
"Riles? Can you...can you say something?"
She's pulled back into the present by Mac's voice, and she swallows. "I don't know what you want me to say, Mac."
"Something, anything. I need to know where you stand in all of this."
She raises a brow at him. "Where do I stand? Mac, when you woke up this morning you went straight to Desi, and now you're here telling me that you want to be with me. So where do you stand? Because I refuse to get my heart broken again."
Mac lets out a breath and drops his hands from her face, nodding. "Right, I deserve that. I should have been more clear. I went to Desi to break up with her. Once I got all my memories back, it made me realize things that I already knew. Desi and I don't work as a couple, we never have. She and I were just clinging to something familiar because we didn't want to be alone, we were using each other as stand-ins for the people we really wanted to be with."
"Okay. But that...that doesn't mean you and I can start a relationship right now."
Mac opens and closes his mouth a few times, shifting a little on his feet. "Can you tell me why?"
Riley tilts her head as she looks at him. "Mac, you just broke up with Desi. I don't want to feel like a rebound for you."
He shakes his head. "Hey, you're not a—"
She holds a hand up, cutting him off. "I know. I know what you've said, but now I'm telling you how I feel." She drops her hand, but since they're standing so close, it lands lightly on his chest, right over his heart. "If we start something right now, then I'm always going to have this nagging voice in the back of my head, telling me that I'm just a rebound. I don't want to feel like that."
Mac nods slowly, placing his hand over hers and gently squeezing. "Okay. So then tell me what I can do."
A small smile tugs at the corners of her lips. "I want to be with you, Mac. I really want to. But I think...I think we need a little time. You just got out of a relationship and I haven't quite dealt with everything I felt seeing you flatline." She flips her hand over and laces her fingers with his, her smile falling again. "It was one of the scariest moments of my life, Mac. I need some time to recover from that, to get my head on straight."
Mac smiles softly, lifting their hands and pressing a kiss to the back of hers. "I am so sorry you had to go through that. Whenever you're ready, I am right here." He takes a deep breath. "In the meantime, there's something else I need to tell you." He keeps a hold of her hand and gently tugs her along behind him toward the living room.
She settles down on the couch with him, both of them sitting with one leg bent up against the back so they can face each other. "So what do you need to tell me?"
Mac takes a deep breath. "I'm quitting the Phoenix."
Riley's eyes go wide for a split second before all the recent events and Mac's reaction to said events start to settle in her mind. "I'm assuming this has something to do with the government's involvement in what happened to us?"
Mac nods, running a hand through his hair. "Yeah. Matty's probably gonna call us back in soon, and that's when I'm going to tell everyone else, but I wanted you to be the first to know."
"I appreciate you telling me. This is really what you want to do?"
"It is."
She takes a deep breath and smiles softly. "Okay. Then I'm with you. I'm going to quit too."
Mac's eyes go wide. "What? Riley, no, this wasn't me asking you to quit with me."
"I know it wasn't. But I'm still going to do it. They messed with my body too, Mac. And you changed my life when you got me out of prison when you did. Changed it for the better. So if you're going, then I'm going. Simple as that."
"You really mean that?"
She gives him a soft smile and gently squeezes his hand. "I really do."
Moments later, Matty does call them back to the Phoenix, and Riley can see the worry and nervousness crossing over Mac's face. He's about to officially announce his resignation from the Phoenix. And so is she. She can understand why he'd be worried. So she just smiles and gives his hand another squeeze of reassurance, and then they're heading out the door.
Thankfully Bozer had been willing to stop by late last night after Mac had gone to bed and bring her a change of clothes. She knows no one is going to question her showing up in the same clothes from yesterday, but for her, it's the principle of the thing.
There's a peaceful, calm quiet surrounding them in the truck, Mac's hand finding hers on the center console not long after she backs out of the driveway. He holds on firmly, lacing their fingers together, and she can't help the smile that tugs at her lips. Or the butterflies in her stomach from the simple reminder that Mac wants to be with her. It's an incredible feeling, one she's never felt before in any of her previous relationships.
When they arrive at the Phoenix, they don't walk in holding hands, but they still stand as close to each other as they can. There's a different kind of energy between them now, one that she's not at all mad about.
Stepping into the War Room, she finds that they're the last ones to arrive. Bozer is standing on one side of the glass table while Desi is on the other, Russ is standing a few steps away, and Matty is on the big screen at the end of the room. Riley flashes them all a smile as she and Mac take their place next to each other at the end of the table.
"Thank you all for coming back in," Matty speaks up.
"Uh, there is an announcement," Russ says, his eyes drifting to Mac. "One that couldn't wait."
Riley looks up at Mac, watching as he shifts on his feet. She can see a myriad of emotions passing over his face, so she reaches under the table to give his hand a quick squeeze of reassurance. Then she smiles softly when he looks at her.
Mac takes a deep breath, looking around at the others. "You all mean the world to me. And there's nothing I'm more proud of than the work we've done here at the Phoenix. But, given the discovery that the government was behind our kidnapping and experiments, and turned a blind eye to thousands of servicemen and women, and their families. And much of what we do here, albeit rewarding work, it's overseen and funded by the US government." He lets out a heavy sigh. "A government which I can no longer serve in this official capacity."
"Which we can no longer serve," Riley pipes in.
Bozer's eyes dart between them. "What are you guys saying?"
"Today's my and Riley's last day."
Bozer's quiet for a moment and then turns fully toward them. "You're the one that brought me into the Phoenix. If you're both hanging up your comms, so am I."
"Me too," Desi pipes in. "There's many more ways to serve our country."
Mac smiles, glancing down. "Taylor, Matty, I apologize. I didn't think this was gonna happen."
"No need to apologize," Russ tells him. "We just, uh, wanted to make sure you would uh, consider all your options."
"Before you quit," Matty continues, "we thought you should know. Taylor and I have decided to cut all government ties. The Phoenix is now fully autonomous."
Russ takes a few steps toward the table. "From now on, no more government contracts. We'll only take on missions of our choosing."
"Can you do that?" Mac asks hesitantly. "I mean, financially?"
Russ chuckles. "Well, when you have as much money as I do, one can do whatever they damn well please."
Seconds later, one of their analysts, Jordan, enters the room carrying a tray of champagne glasses, setting it down on the table. She throws them all a smile and then turns to make her way back out of the room.
"If you're in, I hope you'll join me"—Russ leans forward to grab a glass—"in a toast. Here's to the next chapter of our work here at the Phoenix."
"From now on, it's us against the world," Matty pipes in with her own champagne glass.
Bozer reaches out to grab one of the glasses, holding it up as he smiles and speaks in his British accent, "Doing whatever we damn well please."
Desi grabs a glass and holds it up with a smile of her own. "And having each other's back."
Riley smiles and grabs the second to last glass, holding it up and looking directly at Mac, smiling softly. "Because that's what family does."
Mac's quiet for another moment before reaching out to grab the final glass. "You're right. We have each other, and that's all we've ever needed."
They all clink their glasses together to celebrate a new chapter, a new beginning. Idle chatter breaks out among their small team, and Riley can't help the wide smile that grows on her face. The Phoenix is her family and while she'd been preparing herself to do so, she's glad she doesn't have to say goodbye.
A small pressure on her hand pulls her attention and she looks up to see Mac smiling softly at her. "What?"
He shakes his head. "Nothing. You sure you're okay with this, though? Staying on?"
"I'm more than okay with it, Mac. Are you?"
He takes a deep breath and nods. "Yeah, I am. And I was thinking that maybe we could go for some pizza and skee ball when we're all done here."
Riley's smile widens. "I'd love to."
Mac smiles and then tugs gently on her hand to pull her toward him. He lets go of her hand to wrap his arm around her waist and holds her close as he presses a lingering kiss to her hairline. "I'm really looking forward to whatever's ahead for," he says quietly so that only she can hear him.
Riley lets herself melt into his embrace and wraps an arm around his torso, not caring if the others are looking at them or not. Her eyes fall closed as she rests her head against him, a small, content smile pulling at her lips. "So am I, Mac. So am I."
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Until next time,
Jellybean96 out!