Chapter 5: Recording the Red Sea, Part One
As if in a brief blink of the eye, Shinji woke up from a dreamless sleep, possibly for the first time in two years. He doesn't move from his position of lying flat on his stomach, ignoring that his face is glued to his pillow by drool, he glances at the red digital clock staring back at him.
7:14 a.m. Shiji distinctly remembered it being 9:45 at night when he decided he would briefly doze off before preparing to go to bed.
He slowly lifted his head, which had a satisfying peeling sound as it separated from the pillowcase, like lifting your exposed back from a leather couch on a sweaty day. Shinji smacks his lips absentmindedly and looks down at his clothes, he forgot to change out of his uniform when he fell into bed early. A content groan murmurs out of him as he stretches out completely, bones crack in places he didn't know could crack without a chiropractor. He winces as he notices the belt had left a deep mark around his waist, and then an epiphany dawns upon him. Shinji had experienced something that has never happened to him except on excessively medicated trips to the hospital after exceptional bouts against angels.
He had slept for more than five hours in a single sitting.
Shooting up from his bed, he suspiciously scans his room to look for irregularities. Nothing out of the ordinary, but the light rays creeping out past his curtain highlight a peaceful presence in his spacious, meticulous room. Not a single thought creeps into his mind, no sense of urgency, or lists of errands rapidly firing into his mind. He stayed sitting up for another minute, basking in the silence before laying back down with a satisfied sigh. Nothing could possibly bother him on such a perfect day.
"I suppose I can spare another fifteen-"
"WHERE THE FUCK ARE MY HEALS, NUMBNUTS?" A loud voice booms from the neighboring room, no introduction is needed.
A familiar ache in Shinji's temple pulsates almost instantly, breaking him away from his brief moment of serenity. "Yup." He exhales sharply and shoots out of the bed, smoothing out his blanket before he leaves.
"I DON'T CARE IF HE'S ONLY ELEVEN, IF HE CAN'T KEEP UP THEN HE'S A FUCKING LIABILITY."
Shinji runs his hand along the nearest wall, gently grazing his chello, his Frank Sinatra poster (once a Billie Holiday poster took its place before Asuka walked in to find another woman on his wall) and his bookshelf. Stopping by the JSSDF helmet nailed onto his wall by the door, he stares at the single bullet hole dented into the centre of the helmet before moving on.
"Yeah, well if you could keep up with me, I'd be able to actually tank properly. It's not my fault your mom dropped you on your head when you were a kid."
Shinji briefly debated on greeting his roommate, but knew that interrupting her during a game at seven am would be about as wise as waving a red flag at a bull. He made a beeline for the shower instead, opting for survival.
When he switched on the water, he found that it was scaling hot from the last user and braced himself for a tidal wave of pain. He didn't mind hot water, pain was an old friend for himself and his former co-pilots. What he really dreaded were the residual phantom pains from his tenure as a pilot of a freudian frankenstein.
While he never sustained any physical injuries (aside from having the barrier of his ego shattered and promptly turned into people-soup), any inflictions that his EVA received during battle would be translated to him. Occasionally, more often than not, sensations that were similar to those said injuries would flare as if the body was being inflicted with a real injury- even if his body didn't know the difference. In this case, the hot water fluttering on his skin recalled the day he had dived into a volcano to pull out Asuka from a botched mission. Without any sort of protection, the outer layer of his Unit-01 blistered and melted away from the magma, as the pressure of being within the volcano gave the claustrophobic impression of being trapped inside an molten garbage compactor. When the Unit-01 was sent back to the repair crew, the sleek and pristine purple and green paint job had the texture of a melted popsicle on hot asphalt.
Shinji quickly turns the shower knob down to the coldest temperature possible, but it's too late. He grips the shower curtain in anticipation of another wave, breathing sharply from his diaphragm.
Here it comes…
Three…
Two…
One…
He opens his eyes, oddly enough it feels dull. More like a sunburn than the normal third degree. The phantom dissipates on his fourth breath, the cold water feeling holy.
"SECURE THE FUCKING PAYLOAD!" Asuka shouts out, pounding the desk with her mouse for emphasis.
"ASHUHA SHADDAP" Their slumbering guardian shouts back in a guttural voice.
Shinji scans the bathroom, this definitely isn't a simulation. And he's pretty sure he's still not in instrumentality. He looks back down at his hands and flexes them, a cool shower raining over his now numb body.
"This is new…" He mutters to himself before shutting off the water.
When he exits the bathroom he finds Misato waiting on the other side, eyes shadowed, hair like she was electrocuted, breath undesirable. "G'mornin champ," She mutters as she brushes past him to the bathroom and gives his shoulder a firm squeeze, leaving him alone in the hallway.
Aside from the sound of Misato running the shower, Asuka's computer fans and her aggressive typing and clicking, the ambience is nearly dead silent. The wind is stagnant, and the cicadas and birds are nowhere to be heard this time of year.
This just feels… wrong. Not in the sense that he doesn't feel welcome, or some form of dread is encroaching on the horizon, no. More like there is a presence in the apartment, in school and in the streets that everyone ignores, perhaps occasionally glancing at from their peripherals.
The world had ended two years ago, unspeakable crimes were witnessed, recorded and tried. Some responsible given superficial slaps on the wrist. And that doesn't even cover Instrumentality, that's the layman of the before and after. Before structure, law and court trials came back sixteen months ago, there was chaos and trials of a different sort. Everyone, including him, made declarations and vows: Never again. We're going to be better. We won't be bystanders anymore.
And then the ocean became blue again, the animals came back, the bad guys were locked up and everyone went home. Hell, school wasn't even open until three months ago. Things went back to "normal". Misato started cracking open beers again, Rei reverted back to her quiet, ponderous self and Asuka went back to being… well, Asuka. It was as if everyone was trying their absolute best to forget the people they had morphed into to survive, but at the cost of losing all of the things that had made them stronger after the fact. To spare themselves of having to look further back, they have taken steps backwards is the best way for Shinji to describe it.
He looks down. This isn't even their old apartment. They couldn't get the blood stains out of the hardwood floor and left it behind for someone with less scruples than them. Not one peep about the past, like even mentioning it would summon angry spirits. Even the times piloting an EVA and the phantom pains became a casual small talk. "Oh, what is it today, Asuka? Sulphuric acid along the back again?" "No, no the decapitation. This humidity is killing my neck." "Ah, so it goes."
Shinji clenches his hands. God, there was a point where the three of them agreed, made a pact. That if it came down to it, if they were cornered with no way out, it would've been better, instead of being captured to just-
"FUCKING HACKS, DUDE. HACKS."
Shinji exhales, almost grateful that Asuka just unintentionally just pulled him out of another rabbit hole, as she usually does. He looks up at the clock near the kitchen. 7:42. He better clean up, make breakfast and get ready.
Taking a tentative step, he opens the door to Asuka's cave, bleeding light into the dark room that is only lit by her computer monitor and the lights of the see-through computer rig. Her prized possession. The posters she strategically placed to hide holes decorate the walls. She shields her eyes from the invasive light, making a hissing sound as the large coffee mug in her hands sways. "What, genius?" She demands, swiveling on her red gaming chair back to the screen, not looking at him as she goes back to playing.
Shinji closes the door behind him, "It's seven forty five, you should get ready for school."
She sniffs, "'Kay."
"Don't get into another match, if you're late again you'll miss breakfast."
"'Kay, 'KAY. God!" She gets shot in the head and smacks the desk, "GOD. DAMN IT."
PLAY OF THE GAME blares across the screen as it replays her death on screen.
Asuka pounds the desk for emphasis, "Nein, NEIN. You dick!" She grabs an empty energy drink can and tosses it at his forehead.
Shinji, being an undisputed master at catching things she throws at him, snatches it with ease. "I'm making sunny side eggs, how do you want it done?"
She makes an exasperated growl and clenches both of her hands tightly. Despite her being a lethal individual and is essentially displaying aposematic behavior, he can't help but find it cute the way she wrinkles her nose. "...Over-easy." She mutters. "Please."
Not wanting to prod any further, he walks towards the kitchen, coming across the sugar coated countertop, the pungent smell of overly strong coffee invades his nose. Looks like Asuka made the pot today. That was the tell-tale signs, Asuka would leave sugar all over the counter and put an excessive amount of coffee grounds. Misato left the machine with some form of malfunction, so usually he or Asuka would do their best to beat her to the pot. Pen-Pen? Surprisingly good brew but a strange hint of fish oil.
Misato emerges from her room, a towel wrapped around her head and she makes a bee-line for the liquor cabinet. "Slept good?" She asks as she opens the cubby. To her credit, she has made a tremendous amount of progress on her drinking habits, keeping the beer strictly to nights and weekends and has switched out her morning drink with Baileys Irish Cream. Doubles.
Shinji would normally lie about this, so his response was nothing different aside from it being sincere this time, "Actually? Yeah. Really good." But he does not elaborate.
She takes a deep sniff of the coffee and gags, but pours herself a drink anyways. "That's great bud…" Give her a minute, she'll liven up. Shinji turns around and gets to work on breakfast, leaving some marinated pork he prepared earlier in the crock pot.
Sure enough, Misato instantly starts chugging her coffee and lets out her iconic screech of pleasure. "Life doesn't get better than this, huh, chief?"
The sizzling aroma of olive oil and free range eggs hit Shinji's nose as he smiles. "No it does not."
"Spot…" Toji groaned, his arms shaking. The sound of metal weights clank on the floor.
"It was crazy, Rei. It barely even hurt this time. Didn't even last five seconds!"
Rei rubs her chin thoughtfully, "Truly?"
"Shinji… spot…"
"Yeah! Maybe it's finally going away." Shinji exclaims, his gaze aimless.
She nods, "I believe I have a theory-"
"SPOT, SPOT!" Toji shouts, Shinji looks down to see his weight lifting partner's arms wobbling, his face red as he looks up at him pleadingly from below the bench.
He rushes to lift the bar back onto the rack, "Oh crap" Suzuhara lets out a wheeze and sits up.
"Come on, man."
Shinji rubs the back of his head, "Sor- my bad, my minds just racing right now."
Toji waves a metal hand at him dismissively, "Don't worry about it. That was five sets, right? Let's move on to deadlifts."
"May I accompany you?" Rei asks as she follows them.
Suzuhara sizes her up out of concern, "Are you sure? We're gonna be trying 45 kilo plates."
She shrugs, "That is fine, I shall set up a separate bar so we don't slow each other down." He nods his head in response to that and brings one of the bars in front of a wide mirror. Shinji and him take turns bringing in plates.
Rei follows suit, setting up on her own. Working in a stretch before she starts, Shinji interjects. "I'll be honest though, I've had a lot on my mind…" He looks at her, as usual, she doesn't respond or include herself when he vents like most people do, just stares expectantly for them to elaborate. "I just keep thinking about everything that's happened, since, well, you know. Other than last night it's always running through my head nonstop."
"Have you considered writing it all down?"
"I've tried, yeah. But it always seems so… narcissistic talking about myself like that, y'know?"
She looks up to the ceiling briefly, pondering. "Perhaps you should write about it in the third person? That way you can exaggerate details."
"Really?"
"Exaggeration is acceptable if it serves a cathartic, creative aesthetic." She states plainly. .
"I don't really know what that means but- okay. I'll try it." He nudges his foot against Rei's workout bar. "I wanted to write about the first few months after Third Impact."
Rei stares at her brother blankly, her eyebrows slightly raised. "In that case, no exaggeration is necessary." Shinji lets out a guffaw at that and she nods, "I would like to read it afterwards if you do not mind."
He smiles, "Not at all, by the way, you were saying something about a theory?"
She hums softly, "As to why you did not feel your phantom pains so strongly today."
Toji slips on his earbuds and starts his work out, focusing on getting his form perfect and taking his time. Shinji turns to her, "Yeah?"
She grabs two 45 kg plates herself and slides it on the bar, "I have seen legitimate sources state that THC, a chemical in the cannabis herb, is known to help with seizures, insomnia and muscle spasms. Perhaps the case is the same with these phantom pains." Rei grabs two additional 25 kg plates and slides it to her bar to the absolute shock of Shinji and Toji, who has stopped doing his work out dead in his tracks. "I shall inquire with Ritsuko." She remarks to them before beginning her workout, with relative ease.
Both of the boys stand there, mouths gaping as they slowly turn to each other. "I guess she has a point" Toji says, "It helps my muscle soreness when I go to the gym, and my prosthetics don't ache so much anymore. Your turn, Shin-man."
He nods and heads over to the bar, "Remember, slow and steady." Toji adds. Shinji nods and gets started.
Rei nudges Suzuhara on the shoulder, also having finished her set. "Suzuhara, when shall we acquire more marijuana?" she says innocently, not loud enough to draw attention to his girlfriend on the other side of the gym.
Toji chuckles a little, "Man, you really like it that much?" She gives a small smile and nods. "Well, I'm taking Hikari to that new barbeque place after school, so not today. I was thinking we can meet the guys again tomorrow and maybe find a hiking spot?"
She raises her arms up into fists and nodded excitedly. "That would be spectacular."
Meanwhile, on the other side of the gym, a pony-tailed Asuka watches the trio converse with narrowed eyes, comparable to a Kubrick stare while performing immaculate squats. At first she was observing to see if Toji was trying to flirt with Ayanami in the name of protecting Hikari's honor, but she knew neither of them were like that. Did they say something about THC reducing phantom pains? Just thinking about them made her eye that was speared flare up and the scars sear, so she squeezes her eyes shut and blinks it out. Asuka opens her eyes to see her stupid roommate doing decently on the deadlifts, but he was making a stupid face with his stupid mouth. What an imbecile. Although, despite looking moronic she couldn't deny that his form has improved. Has his back gotten wider? She blinks sweat out of her eyes and looks lower. Not to mention, his -
"Whatcha lookin' at?" Hikari asks suddenly, nearly making Asuka fall backwards before she composes herself. Hikari is grinning ear to ear.
Asuka lets out a sharp huff. "I was just- just looking at how shitty this idiot's form is." She shouts to the other side of the room, "Hey dumbass!" Shinji's head whips up confused,
"You're supposed to be keeping your elbows up! What is that monkey teaching you?" The two boys look at each other and shrug, Rei waves to Hikari, who is giggling like a maniac. This is normal form in class 2-A at this point, with the usual suspects shouting at each other from across the class rooms and gyms.
She whips her head to her friend, "What's so funny? That's not funny, it's sad." Hikari cackles and clutches her stomach.
Hikari grips her shoulder for support and squeezes "N-nothing. Don't ever change, Asuka."
"Hnn"
The walk back home with Rei and Asuka was relatively uneventful, everyone had their respective earbuds in while they walked. Shinji listened to the usuals that he transferred from his SDAT, which now collected dust in a lockbox. He was sure Asuka was listening to "Jeanny" By Falco and he could have sworn Rei was listening to Alice in Chains but didn't want to disturb her. The thought of her advice swam in his head the whole trip back, until he said goodbye to Rei and then to Asuka as they went to their respective rooms and ended up on his desk, where he drew a complete and utter blank. The only word etched into his journal was a highly detailed:
"The"
He frowns at the kanji, instantly regretting his sudden burst of inspiration. Shinji thought at first to prelude with a description of the Third Impact, but looking back nothing he ever wrote about it ever made any sense to him. Like trying to describe an acid trip, not that he's ever partaken. He definitely wasn't going to try to write about how he tried to strangle the love of his life - his best friend. It would be trying to justify insanity, although it made perfect sense at the time.
Maybe writing was a terrible idea.
He went to bed and tried to let sleep take him like last night. No cicadas to lull him to sleep, and music did not scratch the itch like it used to so he laid on his back, his limbs widened as he stared at the ceiling for what felt like an eternity. He looks back at his red clock.
It's only been five minutes.
Asuka's voice echoes throughout the apartment. "You're brain damaged, right? You gotta be cause theres no FUCKING WAY THAT A NORMAL PERSON WOULD DIE THAT QUICKLY." Shinji groans and shoots up out of the bed. "No! NO. I said on your left, you mongoloid."
Screw it, he can sleep when this is all on paper. He paced back and forth in his room for about twenty minutes until a structure formed in his head.
He sat back down and continued like this:
The boy sat there for a long time, until there were no more tears left to shed in the red hollow wasteland. Asuka did not move the entire time as he cried next to her, perhaps once he could have sworn a stiff arm patted him awkwardly on the side once but that could have been the wind. The world was in twilight aside from the distant lunar titans, hiding his tear stained face.
Neither of them moved after he had stopped sobbing, both scared to make a sound. No cicadas, no loud honks from the birds. The only sounds present were the thick, soupy waves of the red ocean and the unearthly howl of the wind. The wind didn't sound as though it was moving in horizontal or vertical directions, no, more like it was being pulled into a vacuum, then exhaled back out into the world.
Shinji looked down at her, terrified to speak, "Are you okay?"
She did not look at him, her breathing stayed at the same pace as it had for days and her eyes did not look away from the sky. You would almost think she was in a coma. The both of them were emaciated from the lack of nutritious food, and from their feverous lifestyles two weeks prior to the impact.
And then a long, exasperated sign "...Peachy" She rasped back to him.
Neither of them spoke for another minute. Eventually, he sits up and glances around the environment, trying his hardest not to look at Rei's giant head on the horizon. But it never escaped his peripheral, it had a lunar hue, as if radiation emanated from her the hues of skin and wide red eyes. Slowly the massive weight of the head causes it to roll backwards, as if it were staring at the sky. Asuka slowly gets up and joins him, they both stare at her joyous, elevated expression.
Silence. Grumbles escape from Asuka's belly despite her best efforts, Shinji shoots up. "I'm uh… Imma-"
"Yeah. Don't wait up, I'm just gonna…" she lifts her hand up, randomly gesturing. "Take a little rest." Asuka stares at the crucified EVA's that had feasted on her two weeks prior.
Shini stands there briefly, unsure what to do, he turns away but stops on his feet. He turns back "Are you sure?"
"No, I'm mentally challenged. Yes I'm sure." Taking the hint, he decided to walk off to the right. Remembering that past the makeshift gravemakers that he had made for his loved ones on the first night, that there was a corner store that he lived off of not too far within eyesight. He supposed he could finally take down Asuka's marker from the shrine. Maybe one day he can take down all of them.
The high tide began to come in again, the edges of the shore had a frothy edge to it, the impact of the waves had a thicker, more muddier sound to it.
When he passed by the marker, something had him frozen. Asuka's marker was already kicked down, snapped in two. How long was he out of it for? His thoughts were interrupted by an odd piece of debris floating in the shore, all in black. Shinji blinked. Limbs unfolded from the mass.
It was a person, floating face down in the red ocean.
Despite the fact that LCL is completely oxygenated, he rushed over to pull the person out, whose head was bobbing lifelessly in the bloody, near orange liquid. It was a man, his body leaning nearly head first into the sea, like he was deliberately trying to drown. Shinji leaps into the shore, the drop suddenly taking him to his waist line and then nearly up to his neck before he can reach their pants leg and pull him to shore. He keeps dragging him through the sand, still face down, leaving an indent in the sand.
Shinji flips him over and instantly wishes that he had just pushed him further into the red sea. It was his father, Gendo Ikari. He had not seen him since he had prevented Shinji from trying to help Asuka against the angel Arael. Nevertheless, he wipes the sand from his face. He is missing his right hand
Gendo topples over to his side and hacks out the remaining LCL from his lungs, he huddles into a fetal position, he too looks skinny, decrepit. Shinji cringes internally at the once authoritative, imposing man. A part of him had expected for him to bark at him and tell him to pilot the EVA and finish the job. Or for him to say that he never loved him and that he was a coward. Anything.
He locks eyes with him as he turns over, without the glasses his eyes seemed so small, fearful even, his brow curled upward. A weak murmur escapes from his lips. Shinji stands above him. Waiting.
"I'm sorry, Shinji."
What?
Shinji leans in closer, his breath rapid. "What did you say?" He whispers.
Gendo takes in another raspy breath. "I'm sorry, Shinji." His hands tremble into tight fists. Sorry for what? Images wind into his mind like a fine constriction, him standing over him on top of high rafters, the laboratory, the crunching sensation of an entry plug in his hands, his fingers curling inwards despite his every effort to make it stop.
"I'm sorr-'' Gendo is interrupted fist to the face, but he doesn't flinch, he doesn't even close his eyes when the second fist hits him right there. The punches became less aimed at certain places and turned feral. Loud, momentous grunts begin to warp intro snarls and then, whimpers and cries.
Eventually Shinji finds his hands going lower and lower to his windpipe and clenches and squeezes as hard as his malnourished hands allow him to. While his eyes are wide enough to pop and his teeth exposed in a mad grimace, Gendo's face remains still, staring aimlessly at the sky.
And then two arms coil underneath him and he feels a gentle tug, Shinji violently whips his head to the assailer and gasps sharply.
Asuka looks down at his hands with one eye. That one eye looked so sunken and shadowed, wrinkles lined her face in places that had no business on a healthy teenager. She glances up at him with an empty expression and all the rage melts from Shinji with a shudder. No longer resisting, she slowly, wordlessly lifts Shinji to his feet and leads him away from the crumpled man by the elbow and shoulder, both sparing one last glance at their former commander before walking away. Gendo Ikari clutched his missing arm and looked up to the sky.
Not getting fair, they heard another pair of feet squish into the soggy sand, preparing for a confrontation. "Rei... " His father calls out. They both turn to see none other than the First Children stepping over Gendo and walking towards them.
Asuka drops her hands as Shinji takes a step back, "...Rei?" He mimics.
"Wondergirl?" The first spark of Asuka voices returns as Rei Ayanami steps past both of them.
She is caked in dry LCL, similar to them. "Let us leave this place." Rei states with a never before heard sense of confidence. Both Shinji and Asuka turn to look at each other, genuinely confused before opting to follow her.
"Wait. Wait, Shinji." The boy turns to look back at his father, his hand stretched out to reach him. His gaunt eyes plead for him.
He turns back to his companions staring at him, not with a look of expectation or command, but of acceptance. He followed their lead without hesitation.
The trio walked in silence for some time. On the way past Shinji's memorial, Asuka grabbed the two pieces of her designated grave marker and chucked it into the ocean. No one inquired as to why.
Shinji finally broke the painful silence, "There was a store on the other side there, we can go there if you're hungry."
Rei did not turn to look at him, instead gazing out to the shoreline. "There is nothing of note there."
Asuka scoffs, "And how do you know that?"
"...I went for a walk."
She did not elaborate any further. Shinji wanted more than anything to hug her, to ask her to explain everything, but something about the way she carried herself seemed… tense. Not like how once seemed stiff, as if suspended by strings.
"Are you the third one, or…" He did not finish the sentence, leaving it to her.
A pregnant pause filled the air. "I am all of them."
A small spark of hope lit inside Shinji, he had so many questions…
Asuka interjects, any signs of her lethargic energy evaporating, "So… this means you're three times as annoying, now?"
Rei keeps walking, giving her a brief glance. "That would mean we are equals, now."
Asuka nearly trips for a moment before continuing. She stammers. What the hell was that? "Geez, what's gotten up your ass, Wondergirl?"
She stops in her tracks and turns to look at Asuka, her brow slightly furrowed. "I have just experienced Instrumentality three times. Since I have been created, I have been medicated to control and dull my base emotions. I have been without these substances for the first time in any of my lives." Rei takes a step forward. "I am feeling very unpredictable right now, so I would advise that you do not test my patience. However I am sure that after a hot shower we of us shall be much more agreeable."
The Second Children held the Firsts gaze, gauging if she wanted to fight in her condition. She shrugs, "Whatever you say, boss."
The First continues walking. All three of them glance at the massive head resting along the shore lines.
Shinji breaks the silence once again. "Is… Is she…"
Rei and Lillith's crimson eyes lock with each other. "No."
Shinji set the pen down and rubbed his shaking wrist, exhaling. The braised pork he left in the crock pot must be ready by now. Time for a break.
Thanks for reading guys! The original plan was for this to be all one big chapter, but I sense a busy weekend coming up and this is such a perfect mid may point to leave off, part two will wrap up this subplot and we will return to our regular viewing of the kids in present day for chapter seven.
Cheers until then!