Breath Me
Hello, this is my second fanfic, and I'm so excited to be writing this new story! I've been in love with this idea for the longest time, and now I get to share it with you wonderful people. I love reviews, and I hope you enjoy the story!
Fear. At this moment all I know, all I remember, all I feel is fear. I sprint as fast as I can, hoping with all my heart that I'll make it there on time. I continue to race down the twisted trail hoping to find what I seek. Uneven pants are starting to come out, as I hesitantly observe my surroundings. The Willow Tree! It's not far from here! I'm almost there! I'll make it! I now sprint faster than ever, desperate to know that soon I'll meet the warm fire, sweet smell, and secure arms. Yes! I see it! Only a couple of hundred yards away. There are such things as miracles and karma! I feel the bright smile stretch across my face as I get closer and closer to my destination. Pain. Hot, scorching pain courses through me, and I fall to my knees screaming in agony. No… I wasn't fast enough, I wasn't good enough to escape it. Before I know it I'm drowning. Drowning in eternal darkness.
"No!" I scream. I jerk up in my bed, sweat pouring down my face, and my breathing is in short gasps. I hear the clatter of footsteps approaching my door, and my door open. I meet the eyes of my worried Aunt Jenna who appears to be shaken by my sudden outburst.
"Elena! Are you okay?" She asks kneeling beside my bed.
"Y-y… e… a… h…" I get out through my short pants. I can barely get out any words. My throat and chest feels compressed.
"It's okay, Elena… breath… breath." My Aunt says, trying to console me, but her being so close to me is making me feel even more trapped and anxious.
"Space. Space. Space." Is all I manage to get out in desperate short, out of breath words. She gets the memo quickly and backs away.
"O-oh, I'm sorry. What can I do to help you, I… I don't know what to do." Jenna exasperates worriedly. I put my both of my hands up to signal that I just want her to calm down, and leave me to just calm down slowly. I take a couple more short breaths, trying to get to the point where my breathing wouldn't hike randomly, and once I get to a steady breathing pattern and my throat relaxes. I feel as if it's safe to talk.
"T-thanks, Aunt Jenna, I'm good now." I say meekly. A tired expression undoubtedly expressed on my face.
"O-okay, I'm glad you're better, Elena. If you need anything, just come talk to me." Jenna says seriously while giving me a reassuring smile.
I give her the best fake smile I can muster and respond, "Yeah, I will. Thanks, Aunt Jenna. I think I'll try to go to sleep."
"Alright, goodnight." She replies sweetly before exiting the room and closing the door softly behind her as she exits. I sigh and rub my temples, for my head was throbbing. It was the 14th nightmare I've hand since the accident when my parents died. Just the memory of it flooding into my senses is enough to sadden me immensely. I plop back down on my head taking deep breaths. I'm tired, but I can't seem to get myself to fall asleep. At least not at this very moment. Great. Now I'm awake late at night the night before school starts. Bonnie and Caroline seemed to be quite ecstatic with this day, however after everything that has happened these past few months, I can't seem to get myself to care for something like a first day of school. Honestly, I'm tired of everyone asking me if I'm okay, or that I'll get through this. They act as if it's just a phase that'll pant. Yeah, both my parents passing away is definitely a phase. I sit back up on my bed, and feel that my throat is itchy and worn. I decided that maybe if I get myself a cold glass of water, then maybe I'll be able to sleep tonight. I pull the white cotton sheets from my body and I slowly get up, trying not to make too much noise. I tiptoed to my door and open it swiftly. It creaks a bit, but nothing that would wake Jenna or Jeremy up… hopefully. I quickly made my way down the stairs and into the kitchen. I turn on a subt light so that I could see where the fridge was. I find a plastic cup, and fill it with ice and water from the fridge. As I take a big gulp of the water, I feel it instantly cool my sore and dry throat. I enjoy my water for a minute or two, and once I'm done I just rinse it out and put it back. As I turn off the light I feel an overwhelming sense that something is watching me, and I quicken my pace up the stairs and into my room without making any sound. When I make it to my room I let out a large breath that I was holding ever since my anxiety built up. I turn on a lamp on my bedside table, and grab my diary which was placed in a lock box under my bed. I opened my diary and flip to a new page. Writing is a way that helps me cope, however of course it doesn't solve anything really. I grab a pen and begin writing on the new page I have opened to.
Dear Diary,
Today started out relatively normal, I did normal activities with my friends. I went to the grille, and after that, I went shopping with them for a first day outfit. I watched a movie with Jenna, which was pretty good. I can't help but feel as if my life is still missing a piece of itself. I can only dream of one day that hole being filled or at least being more manageable to live with. I guess when things took a turn for the worse, was when I was sleeping and I had yet again another nightmare. They wont stop flooding my mind, and I feel as if it's already taking a toll on my mental health and stability. This time, it was me and I was running to a place that I can't remember now. All the details are so fuzzy, it's hard to recall. What I do remember is that I woke up screaming, and I had a panic attack. This is my 17th panic attack since my parents passing, and I feel as if it's become a part of my life now. When I calmed down, Jenna went back to bed, and I had to get a glass of water since my throat was so dry. I felt as if I was being watched while I was leaving for my bedroom, although that's most likely the anxiety talking. And, this is where I'm at now. I guess today was a neutral day, like most days. I just want something new and different in my life. How impossible is that? I'll be writing later.
Love,
Elena.
I put my diary back away, and I do feel as if some of the anxiety has eased down a bit, maybe enough for me to be able to sleep now. I tuck myself back into my cotton sheets and I lean over to turn off the lamp. It takes me a couple of minutes, but eventually I end up drifting peacefully into long awaited slumber.
Author's Note: I hope you all enjoyed the first chapter! Upcoming chapters will be much longer, however since I'm currently writing another fanfic as well as this one. I may not get to update as often as I'd like to. Thank you for the support, and I love reviews, so if you have any advice, feedback, or any future suggestions please write. Also if you haven't already check out my first fanfiction Abysmal Nights (currently in works)!
Love,
Amara