A/N: Oh my goodness, been half a year, huh? I had some major writer's block, and in anticipation of that, had always intended this to be more of a free form story rather than one that flowed chapter to chapter with a particular narrative... yet here I am picking up the day after the last chapter's events. Nothing too important to keep up with though. Just more soft Rizzles (and some steamy Rizzles.)

The morning after Lydia's bachelorette party, Jane treated herself to sleeping in but was rudely woken up around 9:00 by a phone call from Tommy. She groggily answered, but straightened up at once when his first words were "please don't be mad, okay?"

"What is it? What's wrong?"

"Well, hopefully nothing—I mean, because hopefully it's okay. Ma had TJ sleep over at her place last night, watching him for us, and she just dropped him back off and Lydia was telling her all about the party you guys had last night. She talked about—ah, I mean, kinda put you and Maura in couples terms, y'know. So if that was a cat you guys were keeping in the bag, it's, uh…"

Jane sighed, running a hand through her hair. "Lydia outed us to Ma?"

"Hey, in her defense, she's assumed everybody knew about you since she met you," Tommy said uncomfortably. "I'm real sorry, Janie. She didn't mean any harm." He waited in vain for her to say something else. Jane was silently mulling this over, acknowledging the point that Lydia's mistake was innocent but still painful. "Look," Tommy said, keeping his voice gentle. "I'm sorry. I guess I kinda figured you guys have been so open about it, I think Ma already knew. Or guessed, 'cause she got kinda this funny look but didn't say anything."

"Yeah," Jane heard herself saying. "Yeah, I think you're right, T. She's had it figured out. Just for once in her life, she's letting the fact that she doesn't know what to say stop her from saying anything."

"Is there anything you want me to do? Talk to her for you…?"

Maura walked back into the bedroom at that moment, having just finished a meditation session in Jane's front room. Seeing Jane's solemn expression, she mouthed, is everything okay? and Jane just reached out with a tight-lipped smile. "We'll figure it out," Jane said bracingly to Tommy. "Don't worry about it, man. Hell, maybe it's a good thing Lydia broke the ice for me. It's all good, but thanks for the heads-up." Quick goodbyes were exchanged, and Jane collapsed back onto the pillows with a loud sigh. Maura came over to prop her up and offer a solicitous back rub, asking what was wrong. "Oh, nothing. Lydia's pulled away the veil is all."

"The bridal veil…?"

This sigh at least came out as a rueful laugh. "The veil keeping my mother from having to acknowledge the fact that you and I are in a relationship. Which I guess she'd have found out at this wedding, anyway."

Maura wasn't quite sure how to be taking all of this. "What would make us more obvious at a wedding than we've been anywhere else?"

They had both noticed Angela spending more time in the guest house or at Cavanaugh's than usual. If she'd wanted a straightforward answer about any of the increasing closeness she'd witnessed between Jane and Maura, it would've been easy to interrogate Maura about it. She had avoided that, which felt out of character for her busybody nature. Jane leaned back into the pillows once more, putting her arm around Maura.

"Lydia's gonna want a DJ or something at this wedding, reception, whatever. I want to dance with you. In a way that makes it evident we are more than friends." For a moment, Maura was shocked imagining the kinds of moves Jane could possibly be picturing, but then it occurred to her—"I meant slow dancing. Get your mind out of the gutter," Jane mumbled, seeing Maura's startled expression.

That lightened the mood for a moment, allowing them both the chance to laugh. Maura kissed Jane's hand, then held it. "I'm sorry if this is a dumb question, but what exactly is it you're worried your mother will say? Are you concerned because she's Catholic?"

Jane sighed again. "I dunno. I know in the abstract she's okay with gay people, because she's obsessed with Queer Eye and was very upset to learn she needed my consent to nominate me for it."

"I know, she tried to get me to help her."

"Of course she did," Jane chuckled. "I'm more just…not ready to handle all the stuff she's gonna ask me. 'Does this mean you're a lesbian? How long have you been a lesbian? What made you give up on men? Couldn't this just kind of be a phase after your bad break-up? Oh Gawd, what did I do wrong that made you turn out to be a huge lesbian?'"

Maura kept rubbing her shoulders. "Is that how you identify?"

"No," Jane groaned. "These are exactly the kind of questions I haven't wanted to get sucked into, Maura! I don't know what the hell I am. Does that bother you?"

Maura shrugged. "No, not really. If I wasn't secure in our relationship, maybe. But I am as confident as it is humanly possible to be in your love for me. That love doesn't make you feel angst, or torture you. I know your relationship with your mother can torture you sometimes," she said, getting a nod and another weary laugh from Jane. "I would be bothered if you were in a state of denial over your feelings for me, but you're not. It doesn't matter to me how you identify because it doesn't seem to matter to you. Whenever—or if that ever—changes, I'll get the corresponding flag to put in my office."

Jane laughed. "What if I think I decide, but then change my mind?"

"Then I'll switch out the flag." She kissed Jane's forehead. "Ooh! Or if you'd prefer something more subtle, perhaps I could rearrange my color-coded binders."

They held each other in silence for a while. Jane realized she was taking deep breaths in an attempt to stave off tears, and it occurred to her that she'd been carrying a weight on her shoulders for some time—a weight Maura had just casually flicked away without even knowing what she'd done. The relief washed over Jane more with each passing moment, surreal because it was only just registering with her that she'd had this dormant concern. This wasn't Millionaire: she didn't need a final answer about her identity, no matter how pushy her mother or anyone else would be.

"I guess I haven't wanted anyone to ask those questions," she said. "And I was nervous you'd be like …I dunno, offended or upset or worried if I didn't have a good answer. Scientists like answers, right?"

"Oh, Jane." Maura laughed and gave her a squeeze. "Don't project. Scientists like discovery. The journey of learning. Answers aren't always static, or eternally true. They're only as true, as advanced as we are—they can change or adapt with the more we learn. You like answers, solid, black and white. I'd advise you to make peace with not always having a—if you'll forgive my word choice—straightforward answer to everything. It can be liberating."

"Yeah, I'm getting a bit of that sense now." Jane sniffed and straightened up, ready to deflect the conversation away from herself. "Do you identify as something, then? Or does it not matter to you?"

Maura sensed the ulterior motive in this but decided to humor Jane anyway. "When I was in eighth grade, I wrote a letter home about school and spent most of it fawning over my roommate in intense, idolizing language, extolling her many virtues. I also wrote about a nice boy who'd asked me out, who I liked. That was one of the few times my mother actually wrote me back, and she asked if I knew what bisexuality was." She shrugged. "I looked into it, and it felt fitting for me. So, I've always kind of figured I was somewhere on that spectrum ever since. My parents didn't make an issue of it, so I never really did, either."

"8th grade? Wow. That's not like too young to be thinking about it?"

With enviable patience, Maura said, "of course not. I had an innocent crush on a girl, that's all there is to it. Didn't you ever have one, if you think back hard enough? A classmate, a teacher, an actress?"

This was more of the kind of questioning Jane had hoped to avoid, but Maura's curiosity was genuine, not demanding, and Jane found that she was curious herself. "I dunno," she muttered. "Maybe. It just wouldn't have occurred to me to think of it that way, probably, if I did. Oh, dang, wait! Laura Dern in Jurassic Park! Of course." The fact that she could muse over this with a sense of amusement rather than angst felt, in its own way, freeing.

"Aha! Always had a thing for beautiful doctors," Maura teased her.

"Yes, it's all making sense now."

"This is making me wonder something else," Maura said. "And you don't have to answer if it would stress you out, but, well, you asked me the other day and I've been curious about what you'd say. Can you pinpoint a moment you knew you wanted to augment our friendship?"

Chuckling, Jane took Maura's hand and kissed it. "Nah, I don't know. I've loved you for such a long time, Maura. I don't really know for sure when the 'in' love part slipped, well, in. I can you tell you something that got stuck in my head, though. Remember that time we had a case at that lesbian bar?"

Maura's eyebrows raised. "And you ogled my breasts?"

"That was—they were right in my face!" Jane laughed. "I was just taken aback, that's all! I wasn't like, thinking about motorboating or anything."

"Why would you want to go on a motorboat after seeing my decolletage?"

"Honey. Really?"

"What am I not getting?"

"Nothing, it was a joke, anyway. The thing that lingered with me is something I said. Something I spontaneously realized when we were talking about my fake dating profile, and you asked what kind of women I'd like if I liked women. I said what society calls a great guy is just an average woman. It was hard not to feel like I was settling after that, like with Dean and Casey, especially when I had a much-more-than average woman by my side." She glanced at Maura, who could only offer a soft smile, and Jane grinned. "God, I love you for looking at me like that. Sorry, is that lame?"

A short burst of sweet laughter made Jane's grin widen. "Of course not! You're incredibly sweet." Maura leaned over for a short kiss. "Now, what do you want to do about your mother? Do you want to call her, wait for her at the guest house, or just let her bring it up sometime?" She pre-empted another sigh with a swift kiss to Jane's cheek.

Jane rubbed her eyes. "I wanna have breakfast with you, and then I'll go over there."

Cooking had never been one of Jane's favorite things to do, but she found it really enjoyable when Maura was with her. They'd talk, or listen to music, and laugh, and being at Maura's side made it feel more like an experience than a chore. Sometimes she even looked forward to it. It didn't really take two people to make omelets, but they'd gotten into a rhythm of assembling ingredients, mixing and matching, before Jane cooked them and Maura got the coffee.

As she ate her omelet, Jane found herself wondering if eggs had been a smart idea; the thought of an impending conversation with her mother was making her a little queasy. It made for a rather silent meal as she didn't want to talk about what she was going to go do and Maura thought the most respectful thing she could do was follow suit. In hopes of making Jane feel less alone, at least, she reached across the table for her free hand. That got a subdued smile out of Jane, and she brushed her thumb over Maura's fingers.

"Do you want me to come with you?" Maura asked.

"Nah," Jane said. "I mean, I guess you could drive me since I'll be going to the guest house on your property. That's not awkward at all! Oof, boy. I don't know what we're gonna do about that, I mean, if she can't be chill."

Maura squeezed her hand. "We'll work it out. And see, this means I'll be on hand whenever your conversation is over. You can just come in and find me and I'll be right there."

This was indeed a comforting thought. Once they got to Maura's, they went their separate ways, and Maura decided to call her own mother. It had been a while since she and Constance had caught up, and learning about her latest projects was a good distraction. As they talked about art shows they'd seen recently, though, Maura wondered if she should take the opportunity to get a little more personal and talk about her relationship. Constance knew that she and Jane were dating and had voiced her enthusiastic support, but never followed up with any questions. At the moment, Maura wasn't sure if she was sad about that or grateful that Constance took it for granted that everything was going well.

(She wound up keeping the conversation safe and innocuous.)

When Maura got off the phone, she headed towards the bedroom to see if Jane had come back without wanting to interrupt her. En route she passed the yoga studio and there was Jane, sitting on a mat with her legs crossed, hands at the knees, eyes closed. Maura stared for several log moments until she realized that Jane was crying in silence. This startled her into action and she went to kneel by Jane's side, rubbing her back. Jane stole a glance at her but shut her eyes again at once, and when more tears rolled out, she did nothing to brush them away.

The impulsive "are you okay?" died on her lips before Maura could ask it. The answer was obvious. Instead she whispered, "do you want to talk about it?"

Jane could only take a shuddering breath and shake her head.

"Do you want me to stay?"

It was a question asked by someone who understood that sometimes, the woman she loved—her dearest friend—could process best when left on her own. And more often than not, Jane did prefer it that way, but Maura was becoming an increasing exception to this rule. So she nodded, and Maura shifted into a sitting position, reaching for the scented candles on the nearby windowsill and lighting them. She chose pine, Jane's contribution to the room and the most calming scent to her.

Meditation was not something Jane had ever been good at or frankly even interested in trying. Recently though, she'd been working on being less dismissive of practices Maura enjoyed, and today seemed like a good time to try this one without any sarcasm. Maura intuited that talking Jane through the exercise was not needed; maybe another day, but now she would prefer to learn through observation.

The idea was to free your mind of thoughts, Jane had been told, but she satisfied herself by instead working to replace the bad ones with good ones. She breathed out her mother's hurt and angry expression; she breathed in the scent of the pine candle and Maura's lavender perfume, feeding her dream of sharing a forest cabin together. She breathed out Angela's implication that Cavanaugh was strongly against Jane and Maura having a romantic relationship from both personal and professional standpoints; she opened her eyes to drink in the sight of Maura's peaceful meditative stance. She could think of nothing in her life that had ever felt so calming as this woman's steadfast presence.

Her voice was dry when she finally spoke—"Maura?"—and she felt a small smile start to crop up when those light brown eyes flicked her way. Jane turned one of her hands palm up, and Maura slid hers into it. "I hope this doesn't freak you out, but I came to a realization today. My relationship with you is the most important thing in my life. When we were talking about labels this morning, it got me thinking about all the identities I've taken on before, or that other people have given me. Tomboy, attacker, Catholic, troublemaker. My family name, my town, my school team, my job. But if I strip everything back and just try to figure out when I'm my best self, you are the common denominator." She sighed, unsure if she was doing this right even when Maura was looking at her with such quiet awe. "I'm sorry, that makes it sound like I like us because of how it benefits me, but that's not it. I love you so much. I love you more than I thought I could ever love anyone or anything. Like, I thought this kind of love was only real in Hallmark movies. I'd do anything for you. And I want you to know that I love you the most. More than what anyone thinks of me, more than Boston, more than my job or anyone else. Any of it. I'd get over losing any of those things. I don't think—I know I would never fare all right without you. Your friendship."

This was a last-second clarification in an already spontaneous speech. Losing romance with Maura was almost unthinkable, but Jane didn't want her to think it had to be all or nothing. If they ever broke up, Jane desperately wished that they would remain friends. That deep, abiding friendship was the base for everything they had.

Given Jane's solemnity, Maura hoped it wasn't inappropriate to be smiling. "Why on earth would you preface that by saying you hoped it wouldn't freak me out?"

Jane grinned in relief. "I dunno, I thought it might be too intense or something."

"You've been intense since the day I met you. Don't start apologizing for it now."

This got a laugh out of her, but still it felt important for Jane to relay her seriousness. "I wasn't exaggerating about any of it."

There was a lot shooting through Maura's mind, and she tried to process it quickly as Jane's hand still sat in hers. It felt very self-absorbed to say that until becoming friends with Jane, she had never really come first with anyone. She had been liked, cared for, and even loved, yes—but never really felt the security she had with Jane, well before they had ever kissed. Her parents had come first to each other. She'd never had a best friend in school, and always felt like a disposable option in any friend group. Garrett's family and obligations had come first. Ian's ego and work had come first. Jane was obstinate and particular about a lot in her life, but Maura knew that for some time now, Jane would drop anything to help her. How to synthesize all that?

Maura brought Jane's hand up to her lips and kissed the back. "Mon cher, I adore you. And I hope anything you give up or change won't be for my sake, but because you felt or knew it was the right thing to do." She winked and quoted one of Jane's favorite movies: "I'm with you, bucko, to the end of the line."

Jane gasped in delight, grateful that Maura was giving her a light-hearted lifeline out of a heavy conversation. "It's Bucky, but I'm still touched. You actually listen when I make you watch all those Marvel movies?"

"Well, they aren't all inane."

A marathon of superhero movies isn't how Maura would've chosen to spend her day, but she wanted to do whatever Jane felt up to. Partway through Black Panther, they could hear Angela's car leaving and Jane casually said, "I'm supposed to tell you Ma's planning to move in with Cavanaugh soon. So, that solves the awkward problem, I guess." She didn't have to turn to look at Maura to know this news surprised her. "Hey, got a divorce, might as well live in sin, right? I'm sure he'll be proposing any day now. Ah, shh, this is my favorite part," she added, in a clear attempt to stop the conversation from going any further. Maura didn't say anything.

A few minutes later, Jane leaned over to rest on Maura's shoulder. Maura put an arm around her, and in time, Jane grabbed a pillow to to lie in her lap. She let out a heavy sigh, but Maura didn't ask her about it and just gently ran her fingers through Jane's hair. Her intuition was getting better all the time.

For dinner Maura offered to take Jane anyplace she wanted to go, but it wound up just being the grocery store for ingredients because Jane felt like staying in and making something elaborate together. They had a fun time and a delicious meal out of it, and after cleaning up, Jane found herself winded.

"Want to turn in early?" Maura asked.

"Nah, I've gotta take a shower. You've been kind not to point out how greasy my hair looks. It needs a wash."

She seemed to be moving in slow motion, tired after a long day and feeling weighed down by emotional exhaustion. She'd almost made it to the bathroom when Maura called to her:

"Let me."

"Mm?" It took a second for Maura's suggestion to sink in. "Maura, I don't feel very sexy right now," Jane chuckled. "And anyway, I've told you, I don't wanna risk a slip and fall."

"That's why I bought you a bath mat," Maura pointed out, "but I wasn't inviting myself in to have sex with you. I'd like to wash your hair."

Jane looked as though she must've misheard her. "What?"

"Hands-on scalp stimulation works the same way as a massage," Maura explained, walking over and scrunching her fingers to illustrate. "It increases blood flow, reduces stress, and releases tension." It encouraged her to see Jane smile, as Jane gently reached out to hold her waist. Maura put her arms around Jane's neck. "I would be tender, I promise. I just want to try and help take some of this weight off your shoulders."

She honestly wasn't sure if Jane would take her up on the offer, but after a few moments' consideration, to both of their surprise Jane agreed.

In addition to the bath mat, Maura had also gifted Jane some shampoo and conditioner recommended for curls by the women who did her hair. She took all these items and a wide-toothed comb from the small closet in Jane's bathroom and placed them carefully in the shower caddy. She turned back to see Jane awkwardly watching her.

"Sorry, this just feels a little weird," Jane said. "Like, 3..2..1.. strip!"

They laughed and undressed, and Maura started some hot water. Once Jane got in after her, she was surprised by how not strange it felt to be sharing the space with someone else. (Well, not just anyone else, of course.) Maura instructed her to turn around, and she removed the detachable shower head to drench Jane's curls. Jane cast about for something to say to fill the silence, but Maura quietly advised her to just try and calm herself by focusing on what she was feeling. It took a moment for Jane to settle into this, but soon she found that it all was indeed calming: Maura's fingers threading gently through her soaking hair, making sure the effect was even.

The shampooing was so much the better. Maura worked it in, massaging her scalp, and Jane was totally caught off guard by how wonderful it felt. It had never occurred to her that an action she took—and took for granted—on a regular basis herself could feel so intimate and soothing coming from someone else. On the occasion where Maura hit a snag, she was gentle in untangling it rather than forcing her way through.

"Is this all right?" she asked, as Jane had been uncharacteristically silent for some time.

"It feels amazing. This what it's like at a salon?"

"With more clothing and chairs involved, yes," Maura chuckled. "Where do you get your hair cut?"

"Ma's friend Carla is a hairdresser, and she gives me a discount rate. She'd come to my folks' place, or my apartment with all her stuff and I'd have washed my hair right before she got there. Like an idiot." Maura laughed. "I'm gonna let someone else do it from now on. Or maybe just you," she joked.

Maura was working in the conditioner now. "That good, hm?"

Jane closed her eyes and sighed, unable to tease or snark. "So, so good, Maura."

After massaging for a while, Maura said, "Want to soap up while we let that sit?"

"Hold on," Jane murmured. "Gimme that shower head."

"You need to let the conditioner stay in for a couple of minutes."

"I know," Jane said. "It's not for my hair."

Ohhh. "I thought you weren't feeling sexy," Maura teased her, giving her cheek a kiss.

It was nice to hear an amused reaction from Jane. "Yeah, well, things change."

Maura adjusted the water pressure to something softer, then handed the head to Jane, kissing her neck. "Can I touch you? Or would you rather this be a solo activity?"

Jane put one arm against the wall to steady herself. "Just keep it up top."

She guided the water between her legs as Maura's hands drifted up towards her chest. But this positioning didn't last long; they both laughed when Jane awkwardly twisted around to make the water a little less hot, and turn the pressure back up. Then she leaned against the tile, angling the shower head back down and Maura's hands rested on her stomach. She kissed Jane's shoulders, brushing her hair to one side so she could kiss her neck. Jane's breath caught and she wasn't sure how long it took to come back out again as Maura's fingers glided back up to her breasts and pinched. The relentless beat of water soon overpowered her, and she got the faint notion that she wouldn't be able to stand up if Maura wasn't so tight behind her, helping her stay propped against the wall. She tried to catch her breath as she felt Maura rolling her hips against her.

"You want some of this?" Jane asked through shallow breaths.

"Please."

Jane shifted around, pinning Maura's back to the wall and kissing her. Jane directed the shower head's spray between Maura's legs. Maura gasped into their kiss and the breath came back out as whimpered moan, possibly the most electrifying thing Jane had ever heard. She wanted the use of her dominant hand and she wanted it now—she reached over to shut off the water, letting the shower head clatter against the wall.

The ensuing silence was broken only by both women trying to get their heavy breathing under control. With a short nod from Maura, Jane started kissing her again, taking gentle hold of her thigh before trailing her hand upwards. Jane found herself murmuring words of encouragement and pet names, which was not something she was conscious of having done in the past while coaxing Maura to come. Maura was clearly receptive to it and didn't last long.

"Think the conditioner's had time to set in?" Jane asked.

With an airy laugh, Maura just leaned her forehead against Jane's and tried to regain her composure. "I promise, this was not my intention in asking to wash your hair."

"Mm-hmmm," Jane teased her. "Maybe another time we can try washing it at the sink. Less temptation that way."

A short kiss. "I'm down to try it. Shall we finish up here?"

It wasn't just that this was the best shower Jane had ever had. It was how amazed she was that she could feel so close to Maura like this, just getting conditioner rinsed out of her hair. Maybe it was that this was another new experience Maura was introducing to her. Maybe it was the vulnerability inherent in that. Nobody had ever worked so tirelessly to make Jane feel so good and so whole.

When they went to bed, Jane curled into Maura's side—not seeking comfort so much as enjoying the closeness. Maura was happy to accommodate, positioning her encircling arms as comfortably as possible and kissing Jane's forehead.

"I love you," Jane whispered. "I love you so much."

"The feeling's very mutual, my love."

The wide smile this elicited went unseen in the dark, but Maura could hear it in Jane's voice: "Your love? I like that. Yeah. There's a label I know I'm good with."

A/N: I kind of want to write Tommy's wedding and give them a positive experience, but I've also worked to involve as few other people in this story as possible haha. (I wrote and then just cut out a whole convo between Jane and Angela for this chapter because I just don't care. It's 2021 and I just want the Rizzles, yo.) Hope you enjoyed this addition!