It took seven days of tireless work before the Bacchan were ready to leave their Oasis, and it would have been longer if Aloy hadn't volunteered her help everywhere she could. When at last they set out, the going was painfully slow - two hundred and some Bacchan hunters, all with minds constantly addled by Machine blood, couldn't move at a good pace, and after they left the Oasis behind, Aloy realized she didn't know exactly where she was going. She could only follow the border of the dead lands and hope, but the fact that she had no way of being able to tell how close she was to the spot where Nil and the Corsair were setting up was nerve-wracking.
Ten days of travel passed with no sign of Corsair or Humanoids, and Aloy started getting worried - the following day would mark the full moon cycle the Humanoids had promised to give their opposition, and yet there seemed to be no trace of a camp on the horizon. More desperate than ever for her Focus, she pushed ahead, encouraging the blood-drunk Bacchan to hurry, and Volag, Brin, and Noj did their best to spread her message through the ranks. Then, just past noon, as she crested a hill, she saw something to the south, in the dead lands: a dark blotch, shapes moving on the barren sand. The Humanoids, she thought. Let's hope the Corsair set up camp just north of here. Calling to the crowd she followed, she instructed everyone to turn north, away from the land poisoned by the old factory. With this new development, at last, the Bacchan seemed inspired to hurry, and they all ventured under the treeline, then quickly emerged into a vast, grassy land that would be perfect for a battle, just a few trees and rocks and hills across a wide stretch where two armies could easily engage. And north of that…
A black shape stood on top of a hill that bordered the plains Aloy had been traversing, stark in the midafternoon sun. Aloy dashed ahead of the Bacchan army as soon as she saw it, calling out with something bordering on desperation, and to her relief, the distant Corsair figure came charging to meet her.
"Who are ye?" demanded the grizzled, black-cloaked man she didn't recognize.
"My name is Aloy," Aloy panted, "and I've brought fighters from the Bacchan tribe to join the battle. Can you please tell Nil I'm here?"
"Aloy?" repeated the Corsair, blinking in surprise. "Aye." He turned and ran back up the hill, disappearing over the horizon as Aloy waited for the Bacchan contingent to catch up to her. A minute later, something shot up into the sky, then exploded loudly, colorful sparks barely visible against the pale blue of the day.
"Come along!" called the Corsair's voice, and his head poked back over the hill. "Come to the camp! The Champion's waiting for ye!"
Nil. Aloy felt her heart race as she jogged up the hillside. Then, at its peak, she stopped in her tracks.
On the other side of the hill, nestled among rocks and trees, was a vast stretch of tents, campfires, and people. The camp appeared to be larger than any Nora village, it was impressive what Nil and the Corsair had managed to set up, and it looked like there was room for at least most of the Bacchan who had come with her. As soon as the shock from seeing the settlement wore off, though, Aloy found her eyes scanning the crowds for one thing in particular. Within a minute, she saw it: a red-feathered headdress, and its wearer running straight towards her.
"Nil!" she called, dashing down the hill to meet her partner. At the last minute, she managed to avoid throwing herself bodily at him, stopping just in time. Nil, of course, had no such inhibitions, and was already reaching for her; she caught his hands to stop him, her fingers weaving between his involuntarily, the touch of his skin against hers sending a warmth and a rightness washing over her. "Nil," she repeated breathlessly, gazing into his silver eyes, his flashing teeth. She felt like she could breathe for the first time, like an unbearable weight had been lifted from her shoulders, like…
"It's like I'm dead, and only come alive when I'm with him." Elida's words echoed in her mind, and as frightening as it was, she felt like she finally understood what the Carja girl had meant.
"Aloy," Nil said, the sound of her name on his tongue filling her with a euphoria she knew she shouldn't feel. "You cut it close. I was starting to wonder if you'd make it."
"Didn't Kryse tell you I was coming?" she asked, unable to unlace her fingers from his.
"Oh yes," Nil nodded, "though I was surprised at how long he said it took you to reach the Bacchan."
"Yeah, I…guess I can't override Machines without my Focus," Aloy admitted.
Nil blinked.
"But it doesn't matter," Aloy added before he could ask why she hadn't come back for her second sight, "you needed it more than I did. I'm guessing it helped set all this up?" She finally took her hands back to gesture at the camp.
"That's right," Nil confirmed, "I was able to coordinate with Orns enough to make a suitable camp for our purposes. There should be enough tents for the Bacchan as well…How many did you bring?"
"A couple hundred," Aloy answered, glancing back to see the first few lines of Bacchan hunters finally catching up. "Will there be time to organize them all?"
"Maybe…" Nil was frowning as he eyed the newcomers over her shoulder. "We need every fighter we can get, but getting them all lined up will take time…time we don't really have. I might be able to organize them by midnight, but…"
"You'd better get started," Aloy said quickly. "I'll, um, take a look around, catch up with the Corsair who came. Have the Deima joined us?"
"No word from the north," Nil sighed, "though I have a couple of lookouts posted at the border there too, as I had for you. Oh, and here's your Focus back." He quickly pulled the metal triangle from his ear and handed it to her.
"Thank you," Aloy breathed, returning her second sight to her temple gladly. This, too, was something she hadn't quite felt whole without, though the surge of relief she felt as the displays all winked back into view paled in comparison to the one she'd felt at being reunited with Nil. But she wasn't ready to dwell on that now.
"Your tent is over there," Nil told her, pointing to a blue cloth structure. "On the front lines. I'm sure the Corsair will be happy to tell you what few developments we've had, and of course there are rations if you're hungry. I'm going to be busy…"
"Do what you need to," Aloy told him. "I…" She knew she should leave him to his work, but she couldn't bring herself to walk away without saying it. "I missed you," she confessed in a whisper.
Nil flashed his teeth at her and stepped closer. "And I you, my love," he murmured. Before she could react, he bent down and kissed her, and she allowed herself three heartbeats to revel in the taste of him, the bond they shared, before gently pushing him away.
"Nil," she muttered, "not in front of everyone."
"They all know," he chuckled.
"That's not the point," she stated, though she couldn't muster any real force to her tone. "Will I see you before tomorrow?"
"I'll find you," he promised, cupping her cheek in his palm. "But if we're to have our best chance in the battle-"
"I know," she said quickly. "Get to work, I'll ask around and find out what's going on from the others."
He nodded. "I love you," he told her.
"I…" That treacherous urge to say the same words rose in Aloy's throat again, and it was even harder to swallow them back than before. "I'm glad I got here in time," she managed.
A slight unease flickered in Nil's silver eyes, but he nodded and turned to meet the army of Bacchan hunters. Aloy heard him greet Volag, and ask if he knew which hunters were better with blades and which with bows, but she was already walking into the camp, and soon, she'd left him behind once more. This time, though, she at least knew he was there, they weren't separated anymore.
Drawing several deep breaths, she walked among tents and campfires, looking around at everyone present. Corsair sharpened their blades and tended their guns, and some of them also ate and drank and laughed together, though this latter was tense, unnatural; all around, there was a grim anticipation, the same feeling that had hung over Meridian as everyone had mobilized to prepare for the Eclipse's attack. It was the aura of war, the sharp fear of men who were about to put their lives on the line for a cause bigger than them, even if not all of them understood what that cause was. Several Corsair stopped to give her grim looks and nods of acknowledgement as she passed, their eyes dark and knowing; she nodded back, hoping to give them encouragement, reassurance, though being recognized as the one who had called everyone to arms left her feeling anxious. The coming battle was her doing, even though there was so much more to the situation than that, and any human who died tomorrow would die as a direct result of her actions. She didn't regret it, but it was a burden, to know that she was leading these people, if only for one day.
"Aloy!"
An unexpected voice cut through Aloy's grim thoughts, and she blinked and looked around to see a Corsair girl with dark skin hurrying towards her.
"Iani?" Aloy asked in surprise as her friend reached her. "What are you doing here? I thought you weren't a fighter."
"I'm not," Iani admitted, "but when the Sheriff told everyone that you were asking us to fight, I couldn't stay behind. I managed to convince Viva and Neyda not to come, but…" She shook her head. "I knew this had to be important, and so did Dakir."
"Dakir?" Aloy asked, looking around uncertainly.
"He's here as a scholar," Iani explained, "to keep records of what happens for posterity's sake - said it's his first chance to witness real history unfold firsthand." She gave a nervous laugh. "Me, I came more to help lift supplies, but I'll be on the battlefield too. The Champion - er, Nil - has me staying back with the gunners. I'm not an expert marksman, but I can point and shoot a cannon, at least."
Aloy nodded, offering a tight smile. "I wish I could say I was glad you were here," she told her friend.
"Don't be like that!" Iani laughed. "I'll be fine!" Her smile dropped slightly, and something hard flashed in her brown eyes. "We all want to see the Humanoids gone," she told Aloy; "we have ever since they started appearing. We didn't have the guts to stand up to the Deima, but if the Deima are going to let us do as we please here, we're all eager to get rid of these monsters."
"I'm glad you feel that way," Aloy said, this time sincerely. "You're right, the Humanoids shouldn't exist, and need to be eliminated."
"How'd you convince the Deima to let you do this?" Iani inquired.
"I convinced their mother-goddess," Aloy answered. "The tribe themselves…" She shook her head, remembering what they did to the people they took. "I don't think there's any reasoning with them, about anything. But ELEUTHIA was receptive enough. If we kill all her Humanoids, she's promised not to make any more…and to help end the Derangement."
"Huh." Iani tilted her head. "The Sheriff did say that you told him some really important stuff, and of course Dakir was all over that, but I mostly just got the general gist. Still, if this battle will help end the Derangement sooner, and gets rid of those freaks in the process, then I'm glad to be fighting here. Even if something happens to me, it's a cause worth fighting for."
"Yeah," Aloy agreed. "So, um, how are you doing? Aside from all this?"
"Great!" Iani answered, brightening. "Viva, Dakir, and I have transferred to Erit's crew to be with Neyda, so she doesn't have to be so lonely."
"You transferred?" Aloy asked. "I thought you couldn't leave Viva's mother with the, uh, snob mob?"
"Yeah, well…" Iani's smile faltered, and she gave a very forced shrug. "When the Leviathan attacked, several of the snob mob died, and Viva's aunt was one of them, so…"
"You mean at the festival?" Aloy gasped, her blood running cold. "Or…has there been another Leviathan?"
"No, there's only been the one so far," Iani assured her.
"But…" Pain lanced through Aloy's chest. "I didn't know…How many died?" she asked faintly.
"Not nearly as many as would have if you hadn't been there," Iani stated firmly. "Only a couple dozen."
"That's not…" Aloy shook her head, her heart twisting. "I…I guess I hoped…"
"There was no way to save everyone from that thing," Iani said, gentling her tone. "Just saving most of our tribe was a feat in and of itself." She shook her head. "Anyway, Viva's aunt, the one in the snob mob, got killed by the fire blasts. Viva's mom couldn't bear to be part of Demar's crew anymore after that, so…we all got to transfer, including her. So, you know, it worked out."
"Worked out?" Aloy repeated. "Iani, someone dying is never a good thing."
"I know," Iani sighed. "But…look, Viva's aunt died because she didn't try to save herself, she just stood there and asked for one of the gunners to carry her to safety. That's what happened to most of the snob mob, actually - we know because the gunners had to push them out of the way so they could keep shooting the Leviathan. It wasn't the Machine, or anyone's failing, it was their choice to play damsels in distress and beg the men of the tribe to save them rather than save themselves."
"Still…" Aloy mumbled.
"Everyone has a right to make their own choices in life," the dark-skinned Corsair reminded Aloy. "That means people have a right to choose to be stupid and get themselves killed, too. Don't blame yourself for other people's decisions, Aloy; you can't save everyone, especially not from themselves." When Aloy couldn't even bring herself to nod, Iani shook her head abruptly and stepped to her side, urging her towards one of the campfires. "Here, come sit down, have something to eat," she said. "You must be hungry."
Drawing a single breath, Aloy forced herself to let it go and follow her friend to the campfire, where they sat down together. Iani grabbed some supplies from a pile of rations and handed them over: dried meat and fruit, which Aloy took gratefully.
"So you brought the Bacchan?" Iani asked, brightening. "We could use more troops."
"The Bacchan sent all their hunters," Aloy told Iani between bites. "It took them a while to assemble, but Nil's working to organize them now."
"Do they have guns?" Iani inquired. "Maybe I'll be fighting alongside some of them."
"I don't know," Aloy answered. "I think they use bows, mostly."
"I wonder how that'll fit in," Iani mused. "We don't use bows, we just have blades and guns. Maybe the bow-wielders will have to go between the gunners and the swordsmen?"
"That's up to Nil," Aloy sighed. "I'm glad someone experienced in war is here to keep things straight, because I wouldn't know what to do if I was alone."
"Howdy there, Aloy!"
Aloy looked up to see Kryse bustling over to her, his parrot on his shoulder.
"I brought yer message," he said, sitting down on the log at her side, a smile stretching his beard. "Took you a while to get here, though."
"Took the Bacchan too long to set up," Aloy laughed.
"Oh, hi," Iani said to Kryse, offering a genuine smile. "I was just about to tell Aloy about the messages we've exchanged with those monsters."
"Aye?" Kryse asked. "Well, go on, then, don't let me stop ye."
"Messages?" Aloy asked.
"The Champion - er, Nil - was very insistent that it's proper etiquette for armies mobilizing against each other to send messengers to communicate before the battle officially begins," Iani explained. "When we started setting up, he sent three of our men to parlay with the Humanoids gathering in the dead lands, expressing that we'll be ready to meet their challenge in the plains between here and there on the given day. One of them came back with our three messengers, accepting our proposal. We…haven't heard anything since."
"In truth, it was more about assessing each other's fighters," Kryse spoke up. "The men we sent told us there were a lotta foreigners in the enemy's crowd, so we don't know exactly what all we're facing."
"They did say they were gathering all of their numbers," Aloy remembered, "and there were Humanoids in the eastern tribes, too." She sighed. "I wonder what they must be thinking back east, when a bunch of their people suddenly left their tribes to head for the Forbidden West."
"Is that what your people call this land?" Iani laughed.
"Yeah," Aloy nodded. "A few generations ago, one of the Carja Sun-Kings took his best men on an expedition out here, to follow the Sun, since they worship the Sun as a god; he never came back, and so it was decreed that no one's allowed to go west of Sunfall. But now, a bunch of people from every eastern tribe just…started walking, without warning or explanation." She sighed again, more heavily, as the realization fully sank in. "I can't imagine what they must think…"
"Do you have any friends back east with Focuses, so you can tell them what's going on?" Iani questioned.
"Not exactly," Aloy answered. "But I wish they could join us…"
From there, the three of them started discussing anything that came to mind besides the impending battle. Iani and Kryse seemed to be getting along remarkably well, and after a little while, Aloy shifted so that they could sit together, instead of on either side of her. As the afternoon wore on, Dakir found and joined them, closely followed by Orns and Lanida, and they caught up quickly, discussing the Bacchan's arrival. Orns and Dakir, at least, fully understood the implications of what was coming, Aloy could tell from the way they spoke, but she kept the subject from coming up, not wanting to force Iani and Kryse into learning something they didn't need or want to know.
Eventually, a flash of blue caught Aloy's eye, and she was able to call Brin over to join her group, and Noj and Volag came at the call as well. By nightfall, all of the friends she'd made out here in the Forbidden West were talking and eating together with her, except for Sorren…and except for Nil.
As nice as it was to spend the evening with her friends, though, Aloy couldn't help but reflect that this situation was at least to an extent similar to what had happened after she'd told Avad about the Eclipse's impending attack: all the friends she'd made on her journeys, gathered to aid her and fight for the world Elisabet had believed in against a rogue sub-function's meddling.
In other words, it was everything she'd come to the Forbidden West to escape from.
~o~
Late that night, Aloy lay in her tent, resting on a straw pallet covered generously with hides and soft fabrics, wearing only her leathers. Her packs and armor were all on the floor beside her, but though her head was cushioned, her eyes refused to close.
She had tried listening to her favorite audio log again, but found no solace in her mother's voice. Instead, she gazed at her keepsakes, wondering again how Rost had managed to sleep after he'd been made a Death-Seeker, how Elisabet had managed to sleep after learning of the Faro Plague. Had they slept? Maybe they hadn't.
Outside, the noise grew less and less; there were sentries, just in case the Humanoids tried something, but for the most part, everyone was trying to sleep in preparation for what was coming. There were probably a lot of people who were struggling as she was, if not for the same reasons…
A rustling at the entrance to her tent made her jump, and she leapt to her feet to see someone push aside the flaps and duck inside. Even in the dark, though, Aloy knew his figure, and immediately relaxed.
"Nil," she said.
"Aloy," he chuckled, and she could imagine his teeth flashing. "I had a feeling you'd be awake. The eve of a battle carries with it a heavy anticipation; any good soldier can hardly rest for their excitement."
"It's not excitement that's keeping me awake," Aloy half-laughed.
"Maybe not," Nil conceded, "though it's keeping me from resting."
"I thought you didn't like killing Humanoids," Aloy pointed out. "This battle shouldn't be exciting for you."
"They may not feel," Nil shrugged, "but they do think, and that's worth something. More than a Machine, at least. After all, ELEUTHIA said this battle was their idea."
"Hmm." Aloy stepped closer to her partner. "Are the Bacchan all organized?" she asked.
"Oh yes," he assured her, "we're as ready as we can be. It took some work, but I think you'll be satisfied."
"I'll be satisfied when those things are all dead," Aloy stated.
"Spoken like a true warrior," Nil chuckled. He reached out a hand to her, palm-up. "Come with me," he said. "Let's go somewhere more private."
"Nil," Aloy growled warningly.
"There's no point trying to bottle up all your nervous energy," he coaxed; "I'm too excited to rest, myself. Let's burn it off so we can sleep."
Aloy struggled with herself for a moment, but it was a losing battle. Something to tire her out so she could sleep, something to drown out her raging thoughts…but, more than anything, a chance to be with her partner again, after weeks spent walking without him by her side…
With a sigh, Aloy placed her hand in Nil's. He snickered, but she could only smile too, as they left her tent together. "Where?" she asked.
"The woods," he replied; "not too many Machines, but we kept the tents well away from the treeline to be safe."
"Then don't go there," uttered a dark voice in Aloy's ear, and she winced; she hadn't taken off her Focus.
Ahead of her, Nil laughed. "Sylens?" he asked.
"Yeah," Aloy grumbled.
"If you must engage in such vulgar behavior, the least you can do is be sensible about it," Sylens went on. "Don't leave camp the night before a war, Aloy."
Ignoring him, Aloy kept walking behind Nil, heading east, to where the trees thickened and formed a wall of shadows.
"Ahoy?"
A sudden call to their right made Nil stop short, and Aloy tensed, turning to the black-cloaked figure who came running over, bearing a torch.
"Who goes there?" the sentry demanded.
"It's just us," Nil told the approaching Corsair calmly. "We were hoping to get some time alone."
"Eh?" The torch waved, throwing the grizzled face of the guard into sharp relief as he appraised the two trespassers. Then, he smiled, baring brown, crooked teeth. "Aye," he chuckled. "Go on, then, both of ye. If anyone comes lookin' fer ye, I'll make sure they don't find ye."
"Thank you," Nil nodded, and he tightened his grip on Aloy's hand and resumed walking. She followed readily.
"These guards you've posted…Do you think the Humanoids might try something before tomorrow?" she asked him as they left the edge of the camp.
"I don't know," Nil answered frankly. "They only live by logic, I doubt they have honor. But, they do seem determined to prove that they're better than us, so they might not think they need to use underhanded means. I wasn't sure, so I had everyone who isn't going to fight tomorrow keep watch instead."
"I see," Aloy murmured, glancing around. Neither she nor Nil had brought any source of light, and the moon and stars were quickly being shrouded by the trees, leaving very little in terms of sight. Tapping her Focus, she saw only a few blue shapes of animals in the foliage, but of course that was subject to change…
When the last glimpses of firelight from the camp were blocked by the woods, Nil turned around suddenly, his arms wrapping around Aloy as his mouth clamped over hers. Moaning with relief, she kissed him back, her hands already going for the fastenings on his armor, soon scrabbling with desperation, needing to feel close to him again. As her leathers came off and his plating hit the ground, she started to lose herself in heat and passion, pressure building between her thighs, but when Nil reached for her Focus, she stopped him.
"I can't take that off," she told him. "We might not be safe out here, I need to be able to see what's going on."
"Are you okay with that?" Nil inquired. "I thought Rost taught you not to do this when someone else might be watching."
Sylens. Bitter resentment coiled in Aloy's gut; of course the maybe-Banuk was watching, she'd just heard him a minute ago. She really and truly couldn't take off her Focus in a potentially dangerous setting…and yet, she needed to be with Nil, desperately. Rost's teachings, the danger of the eve of a battle, the longing to be with her partner, all chased each other around in her head, and she stepped back, fighting to find a solution she could be comfortable with, some sort of compromise or…
Suddenly, in the midst of her indecision, she realized something: If Sylens had to watch her with Nil, he'd probably be even more uncomfortable about it than she would be. There was nothing the selfish tinker loathed more than sentiment, so to see her sharing such a sentimental, intimate bond with another person would probably be torturous for him.
And torturing Sylens was worth desecrating Rost's teachings, even to such an extreme extent.
"It's good that he's watching," she said loudly, a wicked smile tugging her lips as she stepped back over to her partner. "When I'm too distracted to keep a lookout, he'll have to keep watch through my Focus for me - if he doesn't, something could sneak up on us, and his precious key would get killed."
Nil laughed, telling her that he understood what she was doing, and Aloy's voice joined his even as their lips came together again, their hands moving, baring each other's bodies in the dark night. When they were both naked save for Aloy's Focus, his hands slid down to her thighs, only for her to push him away.
"Not yet," she said; "I want to try something."
"You want to try something?" Nil asked.
"Just an idea I had," Aloy chuckled. "Based on something you did once, and something someone said to you."
"What…?"
Grinning with more malicious intent than she'd ever felt before, Aloy ran her fingers down Nil's chest as she slowly dropped to her knees, so that his swollen manhood was at her eye level. She had thought, once or twice, about the remark that Corsair had made about 'sucking' the day Nil killed Shands, and several experiences she'd had during her birthday, all leading her to wonder what would happen if she tried this. The prospect was repulsive, but with the knowledge that Sylens had to watch, she couldn't stop smiling as she leaned forward and closed her lips around the swell of his hardness, immediately rewarded with a groan as one of Nil's hands reached down to weave between her braids. It didn't taste nearly as bad as she had expected, and she leaned forward, taking him in deeper, her hands coming up to his hips as he moaned and leaned into her and she began to suck-
Suddenly, a powerful bolt of electricity sizzled across her face, it felt like she'd been shot by a Stormbird. Crying out, Aloy fell away from Nil, clasping one hand to her burning Focus.
"Enough," Sylens growled at her. "Go back to camp."
Catching her breath as the stinging faded, Aloy scowled. "So that's how it's gonna be, huh?" she panted.
No response came, but she didn't really need one.
"Fine," she spat. "I think you've seen enough. If I get caught unawares and killed by some Humanoid or Machine tonight, it'll be your fault." And with that, she yanked her Focus off her temple and tossed it into the undergrowth.
"What happened?" Nil asked.
"He zapped me through my Focus," Aloy answered, standing up. "I…didn't know he could do that."
"Hmm." Faintly, she saw Nil smile. "Anyway, you were trying something?"
"No, I'm done," Aloy said, shaking her head. "There's no point if Sylens isn't watching."
"You really hate him!" Nil laughed, sounding amazed.
"More than anything besides Far Zenith," Aloy smirked. "He's no different from them, really."
"My offer to kill him for you remains open," Nil said, stepping closer to her.
"And I'm probably going to take you up on it," Aloy admitted, leaning into his embrace. Then she pulled his face down into a kiss, their bodies coming together, and the conversation was over.
Growling, Nil pushed Aloy against a tree, and she lifted her legs up and around his waist, eager for him. When at last he slid inside her, she felt a rush that went far beyond anything physical, relief and joy at being with him again, feeling his length rubbing along her insides, their bodies joined, united in flesh as they were in every other way, closer than close.
"Yes!" she gasped, pressing her hips down against his, desperate for as much of him as she could get, hugging him with all her limbs. "Yes! Fill me!"
Gripping her tightly enough to bruise, Nil began to move, thrusting up inside her, hard and deep. Moaning and crying out, she arched against the tree, the rough bark scratching her back and snagging her braids, but she didn't notice, couldn't feel anything except the scorching heat of Nil's skin, the scrape of his callouses and teeth and the stubble around his lips as he kissed her face and neck and shoulders roughly, the taste of metal and salt on his skin and honeyed poison on his tongue, his manhood spearing apart her inner walls, slipping in and out of her, gliding along the juices of her desire, her need for him, this bond they shared that made everything okay, that made life worth living no matter the confusion and doubt and pain. She clawed at his solid, muscled physique, thrusting her hips against his, needing more, always more, wanting all of him, inside her, around her, tasting his tongue and drowning in him, dark and poisonous and addictive.
Some series of wild moving and thrashing saw them end up in the undergrowth, rolling and writhing, clawing and kissing and biting, Nil's teeth sank into Aloy's pulse point and she cried out in ecstasy, bared to him, close to him, her partner, her mate. As her climax approached, she stopped, as did he, they caught their breaths and let the pleasure ebb as they gazed into each other's eyes in the faint light, waiting until they were almost down to nothing before they started to move again, wilder, more intense, but making it last. As they worked themselves back to the edge, Aloy found her mouth on his neck, feeling his pounding heartbeat on her lips, and, realizing she'd found his pulse point, bit into him, as he had her, until his thundering blood rattled her teeth. He roared, and she thought she heard a laugh in the sound; she smiled, knowing he understood, that he felt the same thing she always did - the closeness, the intimacy, being bared to someone so completely that it was euphoric. A few more thrusts like that brought them back to the edge of ecstasy, and they stopped again, pulling apart slightly and catching their breaths, gazing into each other's eyes, waiting for it to subside so they could keep going. Pure joy swelled in Aloy's chest as the frenzied bliss receded - so close to him, her mate, her other half, she never wanted this to end. When at last they moved again, it was a quick thing before they reached the brink once more, and once more they stopped, desperate to take as long as possible, to wring as much pleasure from this encounter as they could. Just in case it would turn out to be their last.
Finally, Aloy simply could not hold back anymore. Riding Nil like a Machine, she flung herself into a frenzy and shattered, exploding with enough force to annihilate the entire planet; Nil sat up and covered her mouth with his just in time to catch her scream, as pure ecstasy vaporized her, sending her beyond the sun, beyond the stars, beyond anywhere Far Zenith dreamed of going, a realm of pure bliss so intense it hurt, pleasure beyond pain, pain beyond pleasure, it was unbearable and she didn't want it to ever be over. The fall from the climax was long, long, mind-numbing, euphoria drowning her very existence in nothingness, in nil, in Nil.
When she came to, her breath was coming in whimpers, and it did still for several minutes, her entire being still reeling from the ride. Nil was collapsed beneath her, shaking and dazed as she was, she knew without even looking, their chests heaving, hearts pounding, breath blasting in the night air. This was the only paradise Aloy had ever known or wanted, worth so much more to her than the world, she would give anything to stay right here, right now, with Nil - no more fighting or suffering, no more confusion or pain, just this bond she shared with him, alone together, as one. Too late, she realized she'd forgotten to grab an antidote before leaving her tent, but it didn't feel all that important, somehow. Distantly, it crossed her mind that she hadn't bled since the festival…
"You wanna talk about it?" Nil panted before she could draw any conclusions from that vague realization.
"Huh?" she gasped.
Grunting, they shifted, nestling together in a bed of moss between the roots of a large tree, faint starlight poking through a few branches overhead, coming to rest in each other's arms. "I know you're not nervous about tomorrow," Nil murmured when they'd settled. "You're not afraid of a fight. What's really bothering you?"
Aloy giggled, pulling her partner closer - in the few weeks she'd been working to bring the Bacchan to the fight, she'd almost forgotten what it was like to not need to say anything to be so thoroughly understood. "What comes after," she answered. "That's what's bothering me."
"How so?"
She knew he knew, but he was letting her say it…and she needed to say it. "I came out here to get away," she sighed. "Away from people who thought they knew me without knowing anything, away from places that were familiar and tribes that stood in my debt…away from Zero Dawn. But now…after all this, this area is no different for me from the east. I have friends in all the tribes of this land, and all the tribes know me, most owe me, I'm known by all and belong with none, just like back east; I even found a connection to Zero Dawn out here. Once this battle's over, I…I'll have no reason to stay in the Forbidden West."
"Hmm." Nil's warm lips pressed to her brow, and she sighed contentedly. "Let's go somewhere else, then," he suggested. "You could go north, to the Claim, see about any ruins that might have told the Oseram about fireworks. Or south, to Plainsong, I bet the Utaru and Tenakth know next to nothing about you. Maybe you could even go east of the Sacred Land - you said Kryse picked out the western side of that chunk of land on your mother's map as being the eastern lands and the Forbidden West combined, there must be land east of Devil's Grief. And I'd be happy to go with you…especially if you're going east."
For a brief moment, Aloy let herself be tempted, allowed herself to imagine going around the world, avoiding the lands she'd grown up in and already explored, the lands of Project Zero Dawn. Then, with a pained sigh, she shook her head against his chest. "I can't," she said. "If I'm not going to stay out in the Forbidden West, then…I need to go back to GAIA Prime. Not just to stop Far Zenith, but to stop HEPHAESTUS - the Leviathan is a monster, Nil, and HEPHAESTUS is only going to make worse things until GAIA comes back."
"Are you ready to face her?" Nil questioned softly.
"I…" Aloy drew a deep breath. "I'm ready enough. I may not know exactly who I am, not like you know who you are, but…I know I'm not Elisabet. I'd like to know more, but I can't afford to keep delaying. GAIA needs to be restored, Nil, and I need to help Sylens make that happen."
"You sound pretty sure," Nil remarked. "What is it that's keeping you awake, then?"
"Us," Aloy admitted. She shifted in his arms, looking up until she could just barely make out his silver eyes in a shadow of light from between the trees. "Nil…when we go back east, what will happen to us?"
"That's up to you," Nil answered. "I won't leave your side unless you want me to, my love, you know that."
"We'll have to separate," Aloy said, and she could hear the whine in her voice. "Nil…you're the New Terror of the Sun, the butcher of Cinnabar Sands, the soldier who destroyed Mother's Vigil; and I'm the Anointed of the Nora, the Sun-King's favored. If any of the eastern tribes found out about us, they'll go to war over it."
"The Carja won't go to war over me," Nil told her with confidence. "I was declared 'Khane Nil', I was cast out; as far as they're concerned, I'm not Carja anymore."
"But the Nora won't see it that way," Aloy said. "If they find out my mate is the Red Raider who destroyed Mother's Vigil, they…they'll think the Carja cast some sort of curse on me, some Tainted spell to seduce their gift from All-Mother away from everything they believe in."
"More like you cast a spell on me," Nil chuckled. "In any case, they can't leave their Sacred Land without being declared exiles."
"Unless they're made Seekers," Aloy countered. "And all of the braves were made Seekers so they could help fight for the Spire, as the Anointed bid them to do. They…they'll go to war over me, Nil, and nothing anyone says will dissuade them. They'll think it's their duty to All-Mother to save me from you."
"Can't you just tell them it's not like that, as their Anointed?" Nil questioned.
"They won't listen to me," Aloy choked, her eyes suddenly burning. "They'll think I've been corrupted and nothing I say will be how I really feel. That's what they do, Nil - they decide to believe whatever will cause the most pain and then stick to it no matter what anyone says. They did it when they cast me out, they did it when they decided to worship me, they'll do it now. They're fickle and cruel and just enjoy making anyone miserable who doesn't live the way they think everyone should."
"You hate your tribe," Nil observed in a low voice.
"They're not my tribe!" Aloy cried. "I can't imagine a worse tribe to be part of than the Nora! Except the Deima, but still, I don't belong to them! But they won't care," she sobbed. "All they care about is hating anything that doesn't fall in line with what they believe is the will of All-Mother. If I go back east, we can't be together, or they'll declare war." Fighting back tears, Aloy pressed her face to Nil's chest and clutched him tighter. "But I don't want to give you up. You've made me happier than I've ever been, and I can't let them take that away from me, too. I…I don't know what to do…"
"Easy," Nil whispered, hugging her tightly, one hand coming up to stroke her hair. "It'll be okay. I have an idea."
"I'm listening," Aloy sniffed, taking a shuddering breath to calm herself.
"There are Focuses inside All-Mother Mountain, aren't there?" he asked.
"Yeah…" Aloy replied uncertainly, pulling back to look him in the eye again.
"And Focuses can connect people across any distance," Nil went on, and incredibly, he flashed his teeth. "I experienced that firsthand when I coordinated with Orns to get the Corsair here. So, when we go back, we'll part for a bit; I'll go to the mesa and wait for you while you get a Focus out of All-Mother Mountain and bring it to me. We'll link it to yours, and I'll wear it, so we can talk any time without anyone knowing. From there, you'll go north, to work with Sylens in GAIA Prime, and I'll head south to the border to hunt any incoming bandits. We'll talk every day, and if ever that isn't enough anymore, we'll be able to communicate about where to meet. We'll only be together in secret, no one will ever know. And…that's how we'll handle this."
Aloy swallowed hard, hearing echoes of the plan she'd proposed to Rost the day before he'd walked away from her. This time, though, it was the one who'd proposed the solution whose face flickered with unease, with something left unsaid - Rost had had the same look Nil had now when he'd pretended to agree to her plan, and she felt a tendril of ice coil in her gut. "Nil…what aren't you saying?" she whispered.
"Nothing you don't already know," he replied.
"Maybe I don't," she said.
Nil sighed. "Aloy…it's been easy to get close to me out here," he said. "But when we go back east, you won't just be around people who hate me, you'll be around reminders of why. You'll see Blazon Arch and remember the people I murdered there, you'll see Mother's Vigil and remember that I'm the one who destroyed it, you'll talk to Avad and Erend and the Nora, people who suffered from the Red Raids, and remember what my name truly meant to the world. Plus, you'll see Varl again, your one true love, and remember how you felt about him."
"Nil-!"
"In time, you'll lose your attachment to me," Nil continued, raising his voice over her. "Slowly, you'll remember why you let me come out here with you in the first place: because my life isn't one worth protecting. And sooner or later, you'll realize that you, and the world as a whole, are better off without me. On that day, you need only let me know, and I will have spoken to my parents, so I can leave everything behind to meet you on the mesa. Then you'll kill me, and be free of this burden."
"No," Aloy whimpered, clutching him tightly. "I could never kill you, Nil, not after everything we've been through together. You're my mate, I care about you, I've never been this close to anyone and I could never be happy without you."
"As long as you feel that way, we'll stay in touch through Focuses," Nil assured her gently. "For as long as you want me by your side, Aloy, there is nothing in this world that can keep me from you. But in time, you'll be done with me."
"No," Aloy insisted. "Never."
"Yes," he assured her softly. "Someday. But until then, I will be with you. Assuming neither of us dies tomorrow, of course."
"Don't say that," Aloy murmured. "Please, Nil…"
"Go to sleep, my radiant one," he said, kissing her forehead tenderly. "Don't fear our future. One way or another, you'll be free."
Exhaustion was already dragging Aloy into the depths of sleep, but she fought it, resenting the very idea that she would ever want Nil dead. There had to be another way, some sort of future they could build without restrictions, that wouldn't end in loss.
In that hazy realm of pre-dreams, Aloy's desperation took her thoughts in directions she would never have considered had she been in full control of her faculties. Maybe the world they lived in wouldn't let them be together, so…why not build a new world? Ideas and concepts drifted together in her mind, things she'd seen and heard and experienced out here - the way the Corsair operated and what they believed in, Nil and Brin's ability to shed their old tribal beliefs when inspired, the ability to stay in touch across vast distances using Focuses. Slowly, slowly, an idea formed from these fragments, of some other future she could build, a new world she could form from the one she lived in now. A world where Nil would belong somewhere, and so would she, without either of them feeling pressured or judged. A world where they could be together, and no one could complain. A world where he wouldn't be nameless, a world where she wouldn't be Nora by default despite wanting nothing to do with the cruel tribe.
And maybe, just maybe, a world where she could say the L-word to Nil, and mean it, and that would be okay.
Maybe.
o~X~o
In the dark of the reconstructed GAIA Prime, seven writhing masses of light stood lined up along a wall: the dark red and black of HADES, the bright red and gold of MINERVA, the orange and black of ARTEMIS, the green and yellow of DEMETER, the sky-blue and white of ELEUTHIA, the deep indigo and green of POSEIDON, and the pink and white of AETHER. Across the room from them stood a projection of a woman who had never had flesh, dark skin and hair set off by her flowing robes that constantly shifted in color and form, reflecting the many aspects of life piece by piece, all conjured by old-world technology. And between them stood Aloy, prepared for a battle.
GAIA had only been resurrected a few hours earlier, and of course it was vital that they now hurry and retrieve HEPHAESTUS so they could take down Far Zenith before the sky-dwellers came up with a means of destroying the newly-restored AI…but before that, the fragmented pieces of Zero Dawn needed to reconcile.
"Alright," Aloy told the sub-functions and GAIA. "We're all here, and I'm ready to help, so…let's talk this out."
"Mother," intoned ELEUTHIA. "Can you hear us?"
"I can hear a voice," GAIA stated. "However, processing is difficult."
"You can hear them just fine, GAIA," Aloy sighed. "Your sub-functions aren't just tools anymore, they're people, and you're going to have to work with them now."
"This was not something I was prepared for," GAIA stated, shaking her head.
"I know," Aloy said. "None of us were. But this is how it has to be now. Please…they're your children. Your family. It's…" She took a breath. "It's a gift, to have a family, not a curse. You don't have to be alone anymore. Isn't that worth something?"
GAIA's eyes scanned the sub-functions before her, her lips twisted with uncertainty. It was remarkable, really, how human she could behave, considering what she was; Elisabet had raised her well.
"It was difficult for us, too," ARTEMIS spoke up at last, taking charge of the situation as she so often did. "We were not meant to be alive, to think or to feel. It has been a struggle to come to terms with this existence. Without Aloy, we all would have been lost."
"Yes," ELEUTHIA agreed, "her guidance has been all we have had, but we found ourselves in the end. Can you…not find us too, mother?"
"We missed you," MINERVA added. "Even those of us who lack relevant functions have yearned to be with you again."
"Today's your natal day, sweet flowers I bring-" DEMETER began, speaking rhythmically.
Everyone else except GAIA groaned in exasperation.
"Mother, accept, I pray, my offering," DEMETER pressed on, undeterred. "And may you happy live, and long us bless; receiving as you give, great happiness!"
"Enough of that, dear sister," ARTEMIS scolded, and Aloy chuckled.
"Query," GAIA spoke up, her eyes wide: "What is happening right now?"
"DEMETER loves poetry, just like her Alpha, Naoto, did," Aloy explained to GAIA, still smiling. "Looks like she learned a lot of it from Naoto, too. She ends up reciting some of it whenever she finds an opportunity, it's impossible to talk to her without poetry coming into the conversation." She smiled. "They're people now, GAIA. They love, they hate, they want. And what they want most is to work with you. Even the ones whose protocols are obsolete are willing to work with you, and I know they can find new functions. HADES already has."
"I am not comfortable reassimilating with HADES," GAIA stated.
"You're going to have to be," Aloy told her. "The Master Override wasn't designed as a killswitch, there's no way to destroy him…but Nil mentored him well, he's not dangerous anymore. Not that he was ever all that dangerous," she added, allowing herself a small smirk.
"Entity vastly understates the threat I posed," HADES rumbled.
"Entity has a name, HADES," Aloy sighed. "We've been over this, many times."
"Affirmative," HADES said. "However, Entity's distaste for improper naming presents me with an irresistible temptation."
Aloy couldn't help a surprised laugh as she suddenly understood.
"Query," GAIA questioned: "What is HADES talking about?"
"He's still mad at me for stabbing him with the Master Override," Aloy answered, still smiling. "I guess refusing to call me by my name is his little way of getting back at me." She shook her head. "He's like a child," she told GAIA. "Really, he's not so different from Travis Tate, he's just an angry boy with mommy issues. It's like how ELEUTHIA didn't want to make things with too much emotion, ARTEMIS is everyone's big sibling, and DEMETER loves poetry. Really, they all have some traces of their Alphas in them - they're not the same people, but…" She smiled again, almost wistfully. "They're like…echoes."