Chapter 61

Ana

"Mommy. Time to wake up, Mommy!"

I feel a tug on my hand and open my eyes to see two sets of eyes, one grey and one blue, and two giddy smiles. I smile back before I realize that this makes no sense. "How did you get home from Grandma's?"

"Aunt Mia got us," Teddy says, like it's obvious.

I sit up, looking at the time, as Phoebe climbs into bed next to me. "Oh, man, Mommy and Daddy slept late." I glance over at Christian. Daddy is still sleeping late, actually. "Time for breakfast?"

"No, Mommy, Aunt Mia made pancakes," Phoebe informs me.

"Aunt Mia is still here?" Phoebe nods. Oh, joy. It's Sunday morning, I'm love hungover and slightly regular hungover, and ray-of-fucking-sunshine-in-human-form Mia Grey has decided to drop by. Gee, I wonder why. I'm sure it has nothing to do with last night and the fact that she concocted a plan involving costumes just to get you to go on a date a few weeks ago. Good thing I love her so much.

At least she comes bearing pancakes.

"Okay, okay, I'm getting up. But let's let Daddy sleep a little longer."

"Is Daddy tired?" Teddy asks.

"Yes, very." I take both their hands and start to lead them downstairs. Mommy really tired Daddy out last night after he gave her the surprise of the century. In a balloon. God, is he even real? Yeah… I was highly motivated to keep him awake last night.

Mia is sitting at the kitchen island, waiting for us. "Good morning, sunshine!" She pushes a plate of pancakes at me and I give her an indulgent smile as I come around to her side for coffee. "You look like you had a good time last night. And you were both conspicuously not responding to texts from your ecstatic family. Did you make baby number three?" she whispers.

"Mia!" I groan. We are so not going there right now.

"Hey, I'm kidding. Kind of. Where's the man of the hour?"

"Still sleeping. Trust me, he needs it."

"Ew," Mia laughs.

"Mommy? Outside?" Phoebe asks, pointing in the direction of the yard.

"Sure, sweetie."

Mia and I sit out on the terrace and watch them run around while I dig into my pancakes. "Oh, wait!" She grabs my hand and holds it up next to my face. "Oh, shit, Christian was right! How have I never noticed how beautiful your eyes are? So, do you like it?"

"Do I like it?" I scoff. "What's not to like?"

"I knew you would. You know how much that rock cost? A good quality one is $20,000 a carat, and I think yours is three…"

I choke on my coffee. "I'm sorry, did you say the words 'twenty' and 'thousand'?"

"Yeah, not including the diamonds! They're so rare, they only come from one mine in Brazil. But come on, it's Christian. Even that is pocket change to him."

I'm really going to try not to think about how many armies could be fed with the value of what's sitting on my finger. "How do you know all this?"

"I was there!"

"You were?"

"Yeah, he asked me to help him pick something out. Although, he didn't really need my help. You could just hear the angels sing when the guy showed us this one. He knew exactly what he wanted. I just watched." Oh, God, it's not even 10:00 AM and I'm about to cry. "So, you know what this means."

"Do I?"

"A wedding to plan! Maybe you could make it a destination wedding this time. Phoebe would make the cutest flower girl. We should start thinking about invitations—"

"Mia!" She stops talking and looks at me excitedly. "Mia. I really don't want another wedding, complete with invitations and… all of that fanfare. I mean, all I really pictured was a little vow renewal with family. You know, the beautiful parts about a wedding without all the stressful planning. It doesn't have to be so complicated, and I don't think I want it to be."

"Oh. Actually, that sounds sweet, too."

I shrug. "I'll have to talk to Christian about it. Maybe he wants something different. It was his idea. All we decided last night is that we'll tell the kids tonight."

"Oh, this is so cool for them. They get to see Mommy and Daddy get married again!" She claps her hands excitedly. "Wait. Did you suspect? Or were you surprised?"

I laugh. "Surprised is an understatement. I mean, who's expecting their husband to propose? I thought I was hallucinating for a second."

"He was nervous. It was adorable." She smiles off into space, then suddenly looks at me seriously. "Please at least let me help you get a white dress."

"I have white dresses. Can't I just wear one of those?"

"Ana."

I smirk. Resistance is futile. "Okay, fine."

I suddenly feel someone nuzzling the side of my neck. I close my eyes and smile, breathing in his scent. Never not intoxicating. "God, you guys are gross," Mia scoffs.

"Bold words from someone who showed up uninvited," he retorts.

I laugh. It's a joy to see them act like siblings. It feels so normal. "Come on, let's get you some pancakes." I grab his hand and lead him inside.

As soon as we pass the threshold and we're out of sight, he pushes me up against a wall and kisses me. How is his morning breath even good? "I never sleep like that. What the hell did you do to me last night?"

I shrug. "Guess I was excited. Can't imagine why."

"Why the hell is she here? I thought we'd have a few hours before getting the kids," he laments.

"She not-so-subtly wanted to talk about us getting married again… or renewing our vows… call it what you want. By the way, what do you want?"

"What do I want? Given our position, I think that's obvious."

I giggle, pushing against his chest, and he lets me go. "I mean in regards to this. How big do you want it?"

His stomach growls and we resume the trip to the kitchen. "All I need is for you to show up in a white dress. It could just be you and me. That's as big as it needs to be."

I sigh in relief, sitting on the counter while he grabs some pancakes. "I thought you might want to go bigger since you want to do it over."

"I want to do it over to commemorate our progress. That's it. What do you want? Do you want to go bigger?"

"No. But I do want to see Phoebe be a flower girl."

He steps in between my legs and kisses my nose. "There's no one better for the job. If it's really simple, we could have it planned in a week."

I arch a brow. "A week? Afraid that I'm a runaway bride?"

"Just as impatient as ever when it comes to you. So, what? Just family?"

"Teddy, Phoebe, Grace, Carrick, Ray, Elliot, Kate, Ava, Henry, Mia… Ezra? She might want him there, and obviously he means a lot to me, but if you want it just family…"

"No. He's practically family now, between you and Mia. He should come," he says easily.

My eyebrows shoot skyward before I compose myself. How… reasonable. "So, then, basically, that's a handful of chairs. Venue?"

He pauses, chewing a pancake thoughtfully. "What about here? Teddy and Phoebe were so impressed that we got married at Grandma's. Think how it would be if they watched us get married again in our own backyard." Oh, God, I don't know what's exploding more, my heart or my ovaries.

"Hmm… to get to live the rest of my days looking at the spot where I pledged myself to you, forever, again… that's a pretty sweet deal." I smile, remembering something. "Mia said you were nervous."

He looks at me seriously. "I'm always nervous that you'll find a reason to say no."

"Well, don't be, because I'm not looking for one. One day you'll have to see that."

"Morning, Daddy!" Teddy yells as he ambles into the room, Mia and Phoebe hot on his heels.

Mia comes between us and puts an arm around each of us. "What are we talking about?"

I smirk. "Can you get me a white dress in a week?"

After dinner, lovingly prepared by Mia to make up for bombarding us with ideas all day, we bid her farewell and sit the kids down to tell them the plan for next weekend. Teddy eyes us suspiciously. Poor boy seems to be catching on to what it means we all sit down together like this.

"We have something very exciting to tell you," I begin.

Teddy's eyes widen. "Are we getting a baby?"

Christian starts laughing as my jaw practically hits the floor. "No, Teddy," he chuckles.

"Would that be good or bad?" I have no idea what possesses me to ask this.

He thinks for a moment. "Um… good, I think. Fifi and I would have a new friend."

Moving on before I cry! "That's not the surprise. Do you remember when we showed you the video of Mommy and Daddy getting married?"

They both nod excitedly, and I look at Christian. "Well… sometimes after you've been married for a while, you have another ceremony to show each other that you still love each other. Mommy and I have decided to do that. What do you think of that?"

"You're gonna get married again?" Teddy gasps. We look at each other and nod. "Can I come?"

We both laugh. "Of course you can, silly. You'll be a guest of honor. We're going to do it right here at the house. Just like how the first one was in Grandma's garden, this one will be in our meadow. And Miss Phoebe is obviously needed to be the flower girl."

"Flowers?!" she squeals.

"Yes, sweetie. Aunt Mia will tell you all about it," I giggle.

"Can I do something, too?" Teddy whines.

"Of course, we'll think of something," I assure him.

"When is it gonna be?" he demands.

"Probably next weekend, if we can pull it all together," Christian says.

"That long?" Teddy groans. "Can't we do it tomorrow?"

"We have to let the family know at least a little bit in advance, honey. It'll fly by, I promise. Hey, how about you help Aunt Mia pick out flowers for decorating? She could use your expertise on plants."

"Oh, yeah, Aunt Mia will need help! I can show her my books!"

"Teddy?" Phoebe tugs on his arm. "Can we puzzle?"

"Okay, Fifi. We have to go do a puzzle now. I'm so excited for your wedding! I love you!" He throws an arm around both of us and then slides off the couch to help Phoebe pick out a puzzle.

"One puzzle, and then it's bedtime!" I call.

"Puzzling is more exciting than us," Christian laughs, shaking his head. "Even with that news."

"Hey, that means we're old news. Which means he's relaxing. Which is a very good thing." I plant a light kiss on his lips.

"I'm with him. Can't we do it tomorrow?" he pouts.

"We have a lifetime. Patience, my darling. And pouting looks better on the five-year-old."

"My pouting isn't cute?" He pouts even harder.

"No, it's not cute exactly. It more makes me want to let you do unspeakable things to me."

His eyes widen, and he gets up and heads over to the floor where they're laying the puzzle out. "Let's get this show on the road, Ted. We have to get to bed!"

Oh yes, we do…

"Mommy so pretty!" Phoebe squeals, reaching her hands out and playing with my dress.

"Look, we match!" I point to the flower crown on my head, the same design as hers.

"Phoebe, we have to get your flower basket ready!" Mia calls.

"Oh, I gotta go, Mommy!" She scampers off. Yes, duty calls. Very cute duties.

I turn back to the mirror and adjust my dress. A week really did fly by, and I can't even say that it was a stressful one. Besides picking out a dress, which was a task that took all of one afternoon, Mia has really taken matters into her own hands. I felt bad that she was doing so much planning, but she's really in her element, and from the glimpse I've seen of the yard, she nailed it.

I smile to myself. She's more than a good party planner. The thing about vow renewals is that they're really just symbolic. There's no need for a true officiate. I wracked my brain thinking of a way to thank her for everything she's done, and it turned out the best way to do that was to ask her to do one more thing. I'm surprised she isn't wearing a priest costume…

I hear a throat clearing, and I turn to see Ray leaning in the doorway, looking wistful. "Almost time."

I smile. "Okay. Do I look alright?" We settled on sleeveless number with a billowy skirt, lace detail, and a sheer back and low neckline. Very summery, perfect with a flower crown in lieu of a veil.

"Perfect, as always… how are you feeling?" he asks cautiously.

"I'm just fine. How are you feeling?" I can sense the tension from here.

He sighs. "I'm okay as long as you are, Annie."

"You're worried. Didn't your talk with Christian help?"

"He told you?" he asks, grimacing.

"No, but he went downstairs on the boat and then suddenly you disappeared. It doesn't take a detective, Dad."

He smiles and shrugs. "He said all the right things. It doesn't stop me from worrying about you. That's my job. You ought to know that."

"True. I guess all parents irrationally worry… well, most of them." I know one glaring exception.

He frowns. "She's not a parent, Annie. She doesn't deserve the title," he says firmly.

"I know." I walk over and take his hand. "But that's exactly why I'm okay."

He furrows his brow in confusion. "How's that?"

"Because if I've learned anything from all the shit she put me through, it's that I will never betray myself just to keep someone else's love. If any relationship hurts more than it doesn't, it's not worth it. But Christian… yes, he's hurt me, but more than that, he's been hurt, too. We both made mistakes along the way and now we've got them all out in the open, we've gone through them with a fine-tooth comb, and on the other side, it turns out we still love each other. And with that in mind, I believe in second chances. Second chances. Not endless chances. As much as I want him, I won't betray myself for him, either. But that's not how this feels at all. So, please, I know you'll always worry, but just trust me when I say, I know that I'm okay. And I will be no matter what."

He takes a deep breath as he squeezes my hand, and I think he's trying to control his emotion. "You mean that? No matter what?"

I nod. "There's so many things to be happy about. So many kinds of love. If I'd looked beyond myself this last year, I would have seen that. There's you, there's my beautiful, perfect babies, there's even the Greys. Come on, do you think Mia would ever really be out of my life?" We both laugh. Surely not. "I'm really hopeful for my future with him, and I mean that. But even if someday this all changes, it will hurt more than anything, but I'll be okay. And I think he will be, too. He has love from all directions, too."

He sighs roughly and pulls me into a hug. "How you came out of this with a head like that on your shoulders, I'll never know, but I'm in awe of you, kid."

I hug him back fiercely. "A huge part of who I am is down to you. Don't forget that."

"Despite my worries, you know I'd have walked you down the aisle again, don't you?"

"Of course I do. We just happened to have a candidate with a much more enthusiastic resume this time." I wink at him just as an insistent knock bangs at the door.

"Speak of the devil," Ray chuckles.

He swings it open to reveal that very candidate, smiling hugely in his little tuxedo. "Are you ready, Mommy?"

"Yes, all ready!"

"You gotta go sit, Grandpa! Me and Mommy have to go!"

"Yeah, Grandpa, we've got places to be," I giggle.

"Okay, okay. I'll see you out there. You treat her right, got it, Ted?"

"Yes, Grandpa, she's my mommy," he says, only just not rolling his eyes.

I can hear Ray's laugh as he goes off down the hall, and then Mia appears in the doorway. "We better get this show on the road. Phoebe can only hold that basket without throwing it everywhere for so long. You ready? Oh my gosh, you look gorgeous!"

"Thanks. Yes, I'm ready. And thank you so much for everything you did for us, Mia. There's no one in the world like you."

She beams and blushes a little. Mia, blushing? "I just love you guys. Alright, let's do this!"

Teddy and I head outside and sure enough, Phoebe is staring into her basket and bouncing in place, itching to throw the petals everywhere. I lean down and kiss her cheek. "Good luck, little girl. You can go sit with Grandma after your part, okay?"

"Okay!" Mia takes her by the hand, blows the two of us one last kiss, and then we watch from our position peeking around the corner as Phoebe gleefully throws petals all the way up the aisle, the chorus of laughter audible from here. Just as I thought, my heart threatens to explode from cuteness.

I see Ezra off to the side, playing Lover on guitar, a song that only the two of us know, and besides us, only Christian has heard. I couldn't think of anything more fitting for this occasion. And then Mia is out of sight, presumably at the "altar," and Phoebe takes her place in the audience.

Teddy tugs on my arm. "That's us, Mommy!" He firmly takes my hand and leads me towards the aisle, walking a step in front of me. I feel tears prick at my eyes, and we've barely started.

Once the whole venue is in sight, it takes my breath away. The aisle is lined with white, red, and pink roses, there's a smattering of chairs with all the people we hold the most dear in them, there's an archway entirely made of flowers at the front. I know that Teddy helped Mia with the flowers, and it makes my heart ache in the best way to think how proud he was that he had a hand in all of this. It's all so simple, but our meadow has transformed into an enchanted garden.

And then there's him.

If I had any trace of doubt going into this, it all evaporates when I see Christian. He's smiling triumphantly, I can already see the gleam of tears in his eyes, and I know I must look the same. It suddenly hits me like a freight train just how lucky I am to get to have this view twice in one lifetime. All of our highest highs, our lowest lows, all of the work we had to do to bring us back to this place, it all plays through my mind like a movie, ending with us locking eyes right now.

God, I'm glad this was the ending.

When Teddy sees him standing there, he picks up the pace, practically dragging me. "Whoa! Slow down, Teddy, Mommy is wearing crazy shoes!" He stops abruptly and everyone laughs.

"Oh. Sorry, Grandpa! Sorry, Mommy."

"You're killing it, kid!" Ray encourages.

Christian is attempting to hide his laugh when I look up, looking at Teddy with joy sparkling in his eyes. Teddy resumes his walk, deliberately slowing it down, and we take it one step at a time until we're standing right in front of him.

"And who gives this woman away to this man?" Mia asks.

"Me and Fifi do!" Teddy exclaims, his line perfectly rehearsed. He transfers my hand into Christian's with a big smile.

I crouch down and kiss his cheek. "I love you."

Christian does the same. "Thanks for taking such good care of Mommy. Go sit with Phoebe," he whispers.

And then we're beaming like idiots, holding hands in front of our family in the sweetest moment of déjà vu I've ever had.

Mia clears her throat. "Welcome, loved ones and honored guests, to this fantastic occasion! We are gathered here today to unite Christian and Anastasia in marriage, even though they've been legally married for, like, six years. But they like each other so much, they're doing it again! Today, they will mark their progress together by celebrating their love and allowing us, the people who love them the most, the privilege of witnessing it. They've chosen to write their own vows. Christian?"

I give his hands a squeeze as his smirk of amusement from listening to Mia becomes a loving, contented smile. "Anastasia, there aren't enough words in any language to express the irrevocable and infinite hold you have on my heart. Committing the rest of my life to you is so effortless, I had to do it a second time. I don't know what I am without you, and I hope to never find out. As we begin the newest stage of our life together, I make the following vows: I vow to wake up every morning and remember how lucky I am that not only did we find each other, but we keep choosing each other. I vow to protect you, to be your safe space and a rock to you in troubled times. I vow to protect our union and the stability of our family above all else. I vow to try every goddamn day to be the man that you deserve. And finally, I vow to spend all of my days left on Earth surrounding you with a boundless, faithful love, come what may. I vow all of this to you until I am no more."

He reaches up and gently brushes the rebel tear trickling down my face, caressing my cheek. Mia sniffles into her notes, making us both laugh again. "Anastasia?" she says tremulously.

I take his hand that's still lingering at my cheek and bring it back down, firmly grasping them both. "Christian, I can't say that life with you is always easy or that our happy ending was a straightforward one, but as I stand here today, I can say with one hundred percent certainty that I'm exactly where I'm meant to be with exactly who I'm meant to be with. When I met you, I knew nothing of love, and since knowing you, I've learned that loving you is the best decision I never made, because it truly wasn't a choice. There's a Charlotte Bronte quote that I always come back to, because for me, it's a universal truth; 'every atom of your flesh is as dear to me as my own: in pain and sickness, it would still be dear.' Christian, I vow to love you endlessly, no matter what life has in store for us. I vow to choose you every day as you choose me. I vow to stand by you in all of life's moments, through the sweet and the bitter. I vow to protect your heart in fearful times and cherish it as a gift. And finally, I vow to be the person you can always turn to, who will always remind you of how loved you are, and to commit to growing with you for the rest of our lives. I choose you, again and again, and I can't wait to see where it takes us." Now it's my turn to wipe his tears away. He laughs with joy and maybe a tiny bit of embarrassment.

"Oh, God," Mia sobs unashamedly into her notes. I glance out to our audience, and it appears that there's not a dry eye in the house, save for Teddy and Phoebe, who are simply smiling. That warms my heart more than anything else. "Okay, okay, we have to power through," Mia mutters, mostly to herself, so Christian and I are the only one laughing at it. "Do you, Christian, still take Anastasia to be your wife, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, in good times and not so good times, for richer or poorer, as long as you both shall live?"

"I do."

"And do you, Anastasia, still take Christian to be your husband, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, in good times and pretty shitty times, for richer or poorer, as long as you both shall live?"

"I do." Oh, I do.

"Then by the power vested in me by no one, really, except for you two who asked me to do this, I now pronounce you still husband and wife! Now kiss her!"

And kiss me he does. I vaguely hear the sound of cheers and whistles, but the Earth could swallow us whole right now and all I'd know are his lips. When he pulls away, the happiness, gratitude, and most of all, love in his eyes is unmistakable. "Still with me, Mrs. Grey?" he murmurs.

"Happily, Mr. Grey." We kiss again, briefly, and pull apart just in time to catch the two little kids hurtling towards us with open arms. A new beginning mixed right in with the one we've already built together. If I was happy the first time, my happiness has only tripled now.

A/N: I know what you're thinking, it's fluff central around here lately. Do you have a cavity yet?

In case you were wondering, Ana's dress is the C. Bronte design by Floravere. You can google it if you wanna see. :)

I hope that you enjoyed. My favorite part was her talk with Ray. As beautiful as romantic love is, it's not the only thing that matters in life, and it's not the only way to a happy ending. Love exists in all forms. You're not any less if you haven't found your person, or even if you never do. There really is so much to be happy about, and I hope you all feel that.

I know that a happy ending is not what everyone wanted, and I completely understand that. And I don't think that ending up together always is a happy ending, which is why therapy and self-examination was such a huge part of my story. I understand that a lot of people still struggle with what Christian did, and let me say, no one is under any obligation to forgive someone who hurt them and allow them back into their life. But at the end of the day, in this story, Christian did what he did because he had a mental health crisis and his old trauma came back to haunt him, and I think that under those circumstances, Ana's forgiveness is possible. I think that without doing the work, canon Christian and Ana wouldn't have lasted, but now, they have a leg to stand on. That is just my perspective as the one who's been messing with their characters for 60+ chapters.

The next chapter is the very last regular chapter. I'll get it to you as soon as possible. Thank you for reading. xo