Chapter 13: Opposing Ends (Unexpected Feeling, by Gretta Ray)

Hotch made his way up to the desk at the airport lounge, handing the woman his passport and ticket and smiling when she handed them back. He followed the direction she was gesturing and made his way down the hall, finding himself in the large open area of the lounge. He had decided to upgrade his flights so that he could get some rest on the way back, knowing that he'd be on the run as soon as he landed back in DC. The more sleep he could get on the flight, the better, and at least in Business Class, he could lay flat.

Hotch made his way over to the bathrooms and found an empty stall, lifting his carry-on up onto the large counter and letting out a sigh as he leant against the surface. He looked up, studying his reflection in the mirror. It had been a long six weeks, and he was exhausted. Managing the egos of the teams that were on the ground in Pakistan was worse than dealing with the bureaucrats he habitually encountered in DC, and at least when he was at home he had his family, the team, and he could sleep on a decent mattress. He wasn't a young man anymore, so the cot he'd spent the last six weeks sleeping on had created all manner of issues for his back and shoulders.

He sighed as he stood up straight, knowing that for now, he could have a hot shower, maybe even a glass of scotch and some decent food, and then ready himself for the next leg of his journey. As he opened his carry-on and took out his shower kit, Hotch looked around the room and found towels on the shelf under the sink. He dropped one of the towels onto the side table by the shower and started the hot water, undressing and folding his used clothes, packing them into his carry-on as he went. When he was ready, he grabbed his shower kit and climbed under the hot water.

Six weeks spent in the desert meant this was his first proper shower in almost as long. A couple of days spent here and there in Islamabad, but for the most part, he'd been without running hot water in all that time. He'd almost forgotten how amazing it felt, like he was actually getting clean. As the hot water ran down his body, Hotch released the breath he'd been holding, realising the wonders the shower was doing for his energy... it actually gave him enough of a boost for him to process what was about to go down.

Seven months.

Seven months of waiting, of missing her, and Hotch suddenly found himself nervous at the thought that this might be happening. They might actually get Emily back.

The hot water ran down Hotch's body and he leaned against the shower wall, relishing the warmth, and feeling a tinge of excitement at the prospect of seeing Emily again. He hadn't let himself hope too much, until this moment. But now the idea of having her stand in front of him was making his heart skip a beat.

Hotch washed his hair and body and then rinsed off, not wanting to take advantage of the hot water. He was already feeling rejuvenated after the few minutes he'd been in the shower so far, but he still had to try and get something to eat and check in with the others before he boarded his next flight. After he shut the water off, he climbed out of the shower and quickly dried his hair, before he wrapped the towel around his waist and made his way over to his carry-on. He didn't really have much in the way of FBI-approved workwear, so the casual look would have to do until he could get back home. In fact, Hotch figured he'd be needing some new suits after his weeks in the desert… he'd lost a little weight and wasn't sure if any of the clothes he had at home would even fit.

As he dressed in a t-shirt and jeans, Hotch made a mental note to take his suits to a tailor. He threw everything back into his carry-on and zipped it up, taking one last look in the mirror. He really wished he had a razor and some shaving cream, but again, he figured that could wait. The Bureau couldn't very well expect him to show up like he hadn't been living in a tent for six weeks.

Hotch grabbed his bags and made his way out of the bathroom, stepping into the large dining area and finding an empty booth before he started over to the buffet. He was scooping a spoonful of Greek salad when he felt his cell buzz in his pocket and he placed the plate on the counter. He didn't recognise the number, and frowned as he answered.

"Hotchner," he said briefly, picking up his plate again and lifting a couple of pieces of gozleme onto it.

"Aaron," Simon said quickly, "I don't have long, but we have a problem."

Hotch frowned as he walked back to the booth, "What's going on, Simon?" he asked as he slid onto the seat. He'd spoken to Simon a few weeks earlier, when he'd wrapped up his Company business in Berlin and was heading back to Paris to check on Emily. Everything had been fine, and while Hotch had been tempted to take up Simon's offer to arrange a phone call with Emily, he'd said no. It was too risky... partly because Hotch would be tempted to skip out on his assignment and race to be with her the moment he heard her voice. He shook the thoughts from his head to focus on what Simon was saying.

"Emily got a call from Tom, who was looking after Declan," Simon explained, "Declan called Tom while he was on a trip in Singapore, but before he could tell Tom anything there were gunshots."

"Where is she now?" Hotch asked, reaching into his carry-on and taking out his laptop.

"She's still at her apartment in Paris," Simon replied, "I'm with her now, but she's telling me she has to come home."

"Ok… well…" Hotch paused, his mind racing, "I'm on my way back to the States now… uh… give me five minutes and I'll figure something out."

Hotch paused when he heard commotion in the background, then a sigh, then… his heart stopped.

"Aaron… it's me."

Hotch closed his eyes, feeling the tears beginning to well, "Emily," he said softly, swallowing over the lump in his throat as he heard her speak for the first time in so many months, "Tell me what's happened."

Emily reached up to her cheek, wiping away the tear that had fallen simply at the sound of his voice. She cleared her throat and shook her head, "All Tom heard was gunshots. Please tell me you guys have eyes on Declan."

Hotch shook his head, "He's gone missing, but Morgan and the others are trying to find him…" he paused and closed his eyes, imagining Emily pacing back and forth in her apartment in Paris, "... Em... I promise, he will be ok."

"You can't promise me things like that. You don't know that he'll be ok," Emily replied softly, clearing her throat before speaking with more confidence, "Aaron, I'm coming home."

"I know, Emily," Hotch replied, his heart beating fast in his chest, "What does your dad say?"

"He says he can probably get us on a Company flight, but it'll take a few hours to organise it," Emily explained, "I might not land until early tomorrow night."

"That's fine," Hotch replied, "I'm in Dubai, so I'll find out more when I land and I'll let your dad know as soon as we have something more…" he paused and shook his head, wondering if this was the moment to tell her, but something stopped him from saying the words. He felt like they would mean more if he waited until he could say them to her in person.

"I'll call you as soon as we land," Emily replied, "And Aaron…" her voice trailed off.

"I know Em," he replied softly, cutting her off before she could say the words. He wanted to hear them, but he wanted to be able to hold her when they finally said those three small words, "Me too."

Emily sighed and nodded, a sad smile on her face, "I'll see you soon," she said quickly, before ending the call.

Hotch dropped the phone to the table, staring at the screen as he processed what had just happened. He'd just spoken to Emily, for the first time in seven months. He'd be seeing her in less than twenty-four hours. He'd finally be able to tell her everything that he'd been holding in for the last seven months. He'd be able to tell her he loved her, that he wanted a life with her, and he'd be able to tell her about her son and how much their family had grown in her absence. He only hoped that she would feel the same way.

But first, they had to find Declan.

Suddenly, Hotch thought about all of the times when Emily was able to calm him with a neat summary of the steps they had to take.

Get home. Find Declan. Live happily ever after.

As Hotch ran that mantra through his mind, he picked up his cell again and sent a quick text. There was a whole list of people who needed to know about Emily's return, but no one was more important on that topic than Zac. He just didn't know how to say the words, and was glad to have some time to come up with the right way to say it. For now, he just settled on something simple.

*On my way back to DC. Should be home sometime tomorrow. I'll see you soon. Love you guys. – Dad*

Morgan leant against the chair and raised his eyebrows, "Whose problem was he?" he asked, looking down at Doyle and keeping a careful watch on his expressions. He seemed to be genuinely contemplating his answer.

Doyle shook his head, staring into the corner of the room and imagining a very different corner, in a very different building, "She won't help," he replied, looking up at Morgan.

"Why not?" Morgan asked quickly, staring at Doyle.

Doyle looked up at Morgan, a regretful look in his eyes, "Because I killed her."

Hotch shook his head, "I need to go in there," he started, but just as he reached for the door handle, Rossi reached out with a strong hold on his arm.

"No Hotch," Rossi said confidently, "Leave Morgan to take care of this... if you kill the guy, we'll never get Declan back."

Hotch frowned as he turned back to Rossi, shaking his head, but before he could say anything, his cell began to ring. Hotch checked the caller ID and his heart started to beat fast. He bit his lip and looked over at Rossi, ignoring the confused look on his face, "Uh... I'll be back in a minute," he said quickly.

Hotch made his way out of the room, walking as fast as his legs would carry him as he answered the call, "Are you here?" he asked, nervously tapping the elevator button and looking up at the unlit arrows.

"We're downstairs," Simon replied, "Sinclair put us in room 302."

"I'm on my way," Hotch replied, stabbing his finger at the elevator buttons again and groaning silently, "Don't go anywhere."

"Ok son," Simon replied, ending the call.

Hotch grew impatient waiting for the elevator and took off for the stairs, pushing his way through the door and running down the three floors, each step adding a burst of excitement at the prospect of seeing Emily. He knew they had to find Declan, but right now, Hotch couldn't think about that.

He just wanted to see Emily.

As Hotch turned on the final landing, bursting through the stairwell door on the third floor, he continued his fast pace as he turned down the hallway, staring at the numbers on the doors as he ran past them. He stopped suddenly in the hall, his sneakers squeaking on the linoleum when he realised he'd passed the door for 302. His hand paused on the doorknob as he took a deep breath, then pushed it open.

Emily looked up from her dad's face when she heard the door open. Something in her gut told her it was him, and when she saw his face, she jumped up from her seat at the conference table. But that was all she could do. Her legs felt like jelly, and she let out a puff of air and bit her lip, standing in place as Hotch stepped through the door and closed it behind him, before he turned back to face her.

It felt like an eternity passed as they stood in front of each other, everything they wanted to say being communicated with their eyes. Emily felt her dad's hand on her shoulder, gently pushing her, and that action woke her from her daze. She closed the distance between herself and Hotch, wrapping her arms around his neck and holding him tight. He was still in his own daze when she started moving towards him, but as soon as her hands touched the back of his neck, Hotch was woken and his arms wrapped around Emily's waist. As he held her for the first time in seven months, all Hotch could do was grip tight, scared that she would disappear again if he let go. He buried his face in her hair, hiding his tears in her long, dark locks.

"I missed this," Emily said softly, her breath against Hotch's neck.

Hotch huffed and nodded, standing back but keeping one hand grasped at Emily's waist while another hand moved up to tuck her hair behind her ear, "You're a master of the understatement," he replied drolly, resting his hand on the side of her face, his calloused thumb running over her cheekbones. Emily chuckled, the sound cracking Hotch's resolve and he smiled wide, his dimples showing, even with his beard.

Emily let out a sigh and shook her head, reaching up to wipe the tears from Hotch's face, running her thumb over his beard, "I know we have to talk, but..." her voice trailed off and she bit her lip.

Hotch nodded, leaning forward to kiss her forehead, "I have to go upstairs and tell the team," he explained, "It'll be a shock, but I don't want to distract too much from finding Declan, so if I give them a heads up first, hopefully we'll be able to get the focus back to Declan... at least until after we've found him," he explained.

Emily nodded, swallowing hard over the lump in her throat, "I'll give you a five minute head-start," she replied, reluctantly stepping out of Hotch's arms and squeezing his hands, "Are you ready for this?"

"Are you?" Hotch asked, reaching up again to brush Emily's hair back, still wondering if this was all a dream.

Emily huffed and shrugged, squeezing Hotch's hand again, "Ok... you need to go."

Hotch nodded, "Five minutes," he said softly, looking over Emily's shoulder at Simon and nodded, "Thank you."

Simon simply nodded in reply, wondering what the hell it would take for these two to finally fess up. He understood that Emily was worried about Declan, but kidnapping meant ransom, so they had time. He shook his head as Hotch turned and walked out of the room, before he stepped over to pull Emily into a hug.

As Hotch made his way down the hall, he texted JJ to meet him in one of the hallways outside of the BAU, before he dialled Zac's number. He needed to organise for Zac to get back from Pennsylvania by the time this case was over. There would need to be some damage control, and Hotch hoped that he could make sure that Emily and Zac were reunited with minimal destruction to their relationship. Hotch figured he could explain the basics, and then bring Emily into the room for the big reunion. Hopefully they could get through it with as little bloodshed as possible.

"Hey Dad!" Zac said brightly, "Are you back?"

"Yeah," Hotch replied, "We have a case, but hopefully we'll be done later tonight... do you think you could leave Jack with Jessica and come straight to my office?" he asked, "I have something to talk to you about."

"Uh... sure," Zac said, a little unsure of what Hotch meant, but not wanting to jump to any conclusions, "We're just at dinner at the moment, and then we were heading back to the hotel to watch a movie... I promised Jack we could watch Willy Wonka. What if you text me when you think I should head back?"

"Ok, I can do that," Hotch said, nodding, "I'll see you soon."

"See you soon... and Dad?"

"Yeah bud?"

"You sound tired, so no matter what, you're having a sleep-in tomorrow," Zac said with a chuckle, "Stay safe."

Hotch wrinkled his brow as Zac ended the call, and when he turned the corner, he saw JJ approaching him.

"Hey," JJ said with a small smile, "Got your message."

Emily paced back and forth outside of the exam room, nervously picking at her nails. She knew that Declan was safe, but she'd spent so much time in hiding that being back in DC, in a hospital emergency room, was a little nerve-wracking. She was exhausted and running on adrenaline, having not been able to sleep on the flight from Paris, and she was starving.

Just as that thought came to her mind, a coffee cup appeared in front of her and she smiled, reaching up to take the cup with both hands as she looked over at JJ.

"You look like you could use this," JJ said softly, reaching up with her spare hand to run it over Emily's shoulders, "Should we get you checked out too?"

Emily huffed and shook her head, "I'm fine… just tired," she replied, running her hand across her stomach, "And starving."

"Oh, well here," JJ said brightly, reaching into her pocket and taking out a banana. She watched as Emily placed the coffee cup on an empty gurney and quickly peeled the banana, practically inhaling it. "How long has it been since you've had a proper meal?"

Emily shrugged, "I had a couple of bites of a sandwich on the flight here," she replied, "So almost eighteen hours."

JJ raised her eyebrows and shook her head, "Well as soon as Declan is given the all-clear, we are getting you something a little more substantial," she said sternly.

"So what's the plan?" Emily asked, "Does Hotch want to do the team debrief tonight?"

JJ nodded, shoving one hand in her pocket and taking a sip of coffee, "Yeah, he wants to get it done so we can all come in a little later tomorrow."

Emily nodded, tipping her head in the direction of the exam room, "Well my dad's on his way here, so Declan can go with him… we'll probably stay at my parents until I can figure things out…" she paused and shook her head, "I don't even know where to start to figure this out… how do I tell Zac?"

JJ smiled sadly and shrugged, "Hotch might have some things to say on that account," she replied, "He and Zac have grown pretty close over the last six months."

Emily furrowed her brow and opened her mouth to speak, but she stopped when the hallway doors opened and she looked up to find her parents standing there. Her mother was stopped, mouth open wide in shock, tears already falling down her cheeks.

Emily took a couple of steps towards her mother, and as she drew closer, she pulled her into a hug, letting go and releasing some of the emotions she'd been holding in. As the women cried and held each other, Simon came up to place a hand on Emily's hair, leaning over to kiss her forehead.

Once he had left Emily at Quantico, he had driven home to DC, to speak with Elizabeth and explain what was going on. She'd been shocked, but the first thing she wanted to do was see Emily for herself. She'd had a lot of questions, and Simon had gladly answered them. He was just grateful that she wasn't angry with him. If anything, their forty-five years of keeping secrets had prepared them for this situation.

Emily pulled away from her mother's arms as the exam room door began to open, and she turned back to find Declan and the doctor walking out. She stepped away from her parents and walked over to the doctor.

"He's fine," the doctor explained, watching as Emily pulled Declan to her side, running her hand over his shoulder, "He needs some rest and he's dehydrated from the upset stomach, so keep up his fluids and keep his food nice and light."

Emily nodded and shook the doctor's hand, then turned to Declan and offered a soft smile, "I think we should get you something to eat, hey?" she asked, feeling calm when he nodded against her shoulder.

"What happens now, Emily?" Declan asked, "Who will take care of me?"

Emily wrinkled her brow and turned Declan to face her, gripping the sides of his face in her hands and looking him in the eye, "I have always taken care of you, sweetheart, and that will never change." As Declan nodded, Emily continued, "We can talk about this more later, but for now, I think you can probably stay with me, until Tom comes back."

As they pulled away, Emily tipped her head in the direction of the huddle by the gurney, "I have some people I'd like you to meet."

JJ pulled the car into the spot in the garage, putting it into park and turning off the ignition. She glanced over at Emily in the passenger seat and offered a gentle smile, reaching over to squeeze her hand.

"Are you ready for this?" JJ asked, studying Emily's face.

Emily raised her eyebrows and shook her head, "I have no idea," she replied, "But we have to start somewhere, right?"

JJ nodded and smiled, gesturing with her thumb, "That's the attitude!" she said brightly, chuckling when Emily rolled her eyes.

They climbed out of the car and met at the trunk, taking out their vests and ammo bags, before starting towards the elevator. The ride down to the ground floor and walk towards the office building was quiet, each woman processing what had happened that day. As they reached the first doors, Emily tipped her head to JJ.

"I don't have a swipe card anymore, so if you don't mind, Agent," Emily teased, nodding at the lock.

JJ chuckled and shook her head, "Good lord I've missed you," she replied, swiping her access card and waiting as Emily held the door open. As they stepped inside, both women stopped to look back when they heard his voice.

Hotch had seen Emily and JJ making their way down the path and had tried calling out, but it wasn't until he was closer to the building that they seemed to hear him. He jogged to catch up to them, nodding as he stepped into the building and continued with them on the walk to the elevators.

"How did things go at the airfield?" Emily asked, glancing over at JJ before letting her eyes land on Hotch. She studied his face, taking the time she hadn't had earlier to note his gaunt features, worried about what this whole situation had done to him. He was thinner than before, and looked tired… but it wasn't all bad. She could definitely get used to the beard. It made him look rugged… sexy… Emily shook her head subtly to shake that dangerous thought from her head.

Hotch nodded, "All processed," he replied, "How's Declan?"

Emily bit her lip, "Physically… he's fine," she explained, "But I'll have to get him into a good therapist… for now, he's gone back with my parent's to their place..." she paused and shrugged, "... Zac's been staying at my place and I need to figure out how to tell him before I crowd him with a little brother."

JJ looked over at Hotch with a frown, realising that they had a lot more to talk about than she had first thought. Emily clearly didn't know that Zac already had a little brother who he loved, nor did she seem to know that Zac had been staying at Hotch's for the last six weeks. JJ tried to catch Hotch's eye, but he was doing his best not to make contact with anyone. She looked down and noticed Hotch's hand practically vibrating as they climbed into the elevator, and it was clear that he was still trying to figure out how to clear this all up.

The entire ride up to the BAU, JJ watched them closely, worried but also slightly amused at the efforts that Emily and Hotch were going to, to avoid any interaction. Once the elevator bell rang, alerting them to their arrival on the floor, JJ shook her head and made her way into the foyer first, turning back and gesturing with her thumb over her shoulder.

"You two have a lot to catch up on," she started, smiling softly at Hotch and Emily's blushing, "I'll go and get the others ready in the round-table room."

Emily rolled her eyes and shook her head, huffing and doing her best not to look at Hotch. She was right, they did have a lot to talk about, but now wasn't the time. Right now, they had a case to debrief, and they needed to get it done, because Emily was rapidly running out of steam. She had no idea what the next steps were, but she was hoping to have a shower at her parent's place, maybe get a couple of hours sleep, and then drive over to the apartment. She needed to see Zac, to explain what had happened. And the apartment seemed like the safest place to have that conversation.

Hotch watched JJ make her way through the heavy glass doors of the BAU and started to follow, an unspoken agreement that while JJ had been right, he and Emily did have a lot to talk about, they weren't going to go there yet. He needed to help the team process the case, how it had all ended, and what this meant for the team. They'd broken quite a few rules in their efforts to save Declan, and Hotch knew they could expect some kind of reprimand from the brass, so they needed to prepare themselves for that inevitability. Beyond that, the team needed to start the healing process. Hotch knew that they had all been running on adrenaline to try and solve the case, so they had put off the shock of Emily's return, but now...

As he drew closer to the glass doors, Hotch realised that Emily had stopped in her tracks, and when he turned to look at her, Hotch saw how nervous she looked. His own brow furrowed as he took note of her bottom lip, trapped between her teeth. He slowly moved closer to Emily, leaning his head down so he could keep his voice low. There was no one else in the building at this time of day, but he didn't want Emily to feel like she was on show.

"One step, Emily… you just need to take one step."

Emily looked up to meet Hotch's gaze, glancing at his lips and smiling awkwardly. She had already been through these doors, but she'd been so focused on finding Declan that she hadn't really taken time to contemplate the moment. She wasn't running anymore. She wasn't stuck in limbo, between life and death. She wasn't far away from the people she loved.

She was home.

So many thoughts were running through Emily's mind at once. People she needed to see; relationships she needed to repair. But before she could do all of that, she first needed to take those last eight steps and push through those glass doors.

Emily jumped slightly when she felt his skin touch hers, wrapping his large, warm hand around her small cold one. They fit so well together, and Emily felt her heart beating fast in her chest. At Hotch's touch, she was suddenly awake again, aware of her surroundings.

Seeing that she had broken from whatever trance she'd been in, Hotch gave Emily's hand one last squeeze, before he let go. He walked by her side as she made those nervous steps through the doors of the BAU. Once they were inside, Emily seemed to be on auto-pilot, passing the kitchen and walking over to the stairs that led up to the round-table room.

Hotch left her side and made his way upstairs, stopping at the door to his office to drop off his vest and ammo bag. He turned back briefly to watch Emily as she made her way into the round-table room, where the rest of the team was already waiting. Stepping through his office door, Hotch dropped his belongings on the floor near the door, turning to head back out, but he stopped when he saw the lamp burning in the corner of the room. His heart almost jumped from his chest when he saw Zac sitting there on the couch.

"Oh my god, Zac," Hotch asked, holding his hand over his chest, "You almost gave me a heart attack!"

Zac chuckled and shrugged his shoulders, standing from the couch and walking over to give Hotch a hug, "Sorry," he said brightly, "But I figured you'd stop by the office before coming home, and I thought you might need a lift home."

Hotch stepped back and gestured to the couches, following Zac but waiting to speak until they were both seated. He still hadn't figured out the words to say, but Emily was just down the hall and he wanted to explain as much as he could before Zac randomly saw her. He had no idea how Zac would take this, but he figured that it wasn't every day that his mother could come back from the dead, so he hoped that he'd take it well.

"Before I tell you anything, I just want you to know that I really do care about you, Zac. You're like a son to me, and I hope that won't change after I tell you... what I have to tell you," Hotch started, "And I only did what I did to protect you and Jack and our families."

Zac wrinkled his brow and nodded, a crooked smile on his face, "Of course I know all of that, Dad," he replied, waving his hands in front of him, "And now this is where you say what you need to say before my head explodes with possibilities."

Hotch smiled sadly and nodded, clearing his throat and nodding, "Uh... so..." his voice trailed off as he dropped his head, suddenly finding his mind completely void of how to share this news. Hotch figured this was good news, and his hope was that Zac would be elated. His only concern was about Zac being upset that Hotch hadn't shared the news sooner... like on the first day they met. He prepared himself for an onslaught of questions and the possibility that Zac was about to hate him, and never want to speak to him again.

Zac chuckled nervously, "Come on. You're killing me," he replied, "Just tell me... Dad, it can't be any worse than you walking in on Goose and me, "the morning after"."

Hotch huffed and shook his head, "Ok..." he paused and took a deep breath, rubbing his sweaty palms together, "When your mom was chasing down that terrorist, we managed to track her to Boston. By the time we found her, she'd taken a pretty serious beating and she'd lost a lot of blood, but the hospital managed to repair her injuries and she was stabilised..." Hotch paused, clearing his throat while he checked on Zac. The young man seemed confused, a deep furrow in his brow, "... Once she was safe to travel, she was exfiltrated to Paris, with the plan being for her to stay there until we could find the man who tried to kill her... which we did... tonight..."

Zac let out a puff of air as he contemplated the words coming out of Hotch's mouth, "Dad... what are you saying?" he asked, running his hand over his mouth.

"Your mom is still alive."

Zac's eyes grew wide, and he jumped up from the couch, pacing back and forth across the floor, "What the fuck?" he replied, looking down at the floor for a moment, before he looked up at Hotch, "Are you telling me... has she..." Zac stopped and shook his head, having no idea what questions to ask first.

Hotch sighed, furrowing his brow as he sat forward with his elbows on his knees, "We were worried that, if Doyle knew that she was still alive, then everyone would still be in danger," he explained, "We needed to keep everyone safe, so we had to make it seem like Emily was..." he paused and shook his head, "The only people who knew about it were our assistant director, Clyde Easter, JJ, and..."

"And you," Zac said softly, dropping his head and feeling the tears forming in his eyes, "You knew... all this time... and you never said anything."

Hotch dropped his head and nodded slightly, and when he looked back up, his chest constricted at the terrifying expression on Zac's face. He let out a sigh and bit his lip, "I couldn't say anything, Zac," he explained, "I hope you'll understand that it doesn't erase the last six months." Hotch stopped suddenly when Zac held up a hand, knowing that he was still processing and expecting, at any minute, for Zac to fly off the handle in rage. He had no idea what to expect, so Hotch did what he always did... he prepared for the worst.

The two men stayed silent for a moment, before Zac's eyes grew wide. He reached up to wipe the tears that were starting to fall down his cheeks and looked over at Hotch, "Where is she now?" he asked, "Is she still in Paris?" When Zac saw Hotch shake his head, he turned to look at the door, "Wait... is she here?"

Hotch breathed out, nodding and standing from his seat, "She's here, but she doesn't know you're here," he explained, watching in horror as Zac threw open the door and started to run across the landing towards the round-table room. He was only catching up to Zac when he pushed through the door, finding the team in their seats, and when Zac stopped suddenly, he knew that it was done.

Zac couldn't believe it. His mom wasn't just alive... she was sitting in front of him, talking and laughing with the others on the team. JJ was there, holding his mom's hand. Rossi was there, leaning over the table to hand her a cup of coffee. Garcia was there, sitting by his mom's side. Every one of the people he had gotten to know over the last six months, people he considered friends, people he considered family... they had all lied to him. But Zac wasn't upset at them. They didn't know him before.

Emily looked up from the others when she heard the door open, expecting to see Hotch. When she saw the face of her son, Emily's jaw dropped and her eyes were filled with tears - tears of joy, of sadness... of guilt. She had waited so long for this moment, and she lost her breath at the sight of her beautiful Zac in the doorway. Emily was paralysed in her seat, watching as Hotch appeared behind Zac, his hopeful face giving her the courage to stand from her seat. As she started to walk towards her son, Emily suddenly stopped, watching Zac's face change. In the place of the joy and relief she had seen earlier, Emily watched as Zac's expression changed to anger... resentment... betrayal.

Emily felt a tear drop from her face as she moved towards Zac, but when she reached out a hand to touch his arm, he flinched and drew back from her. She watched in horror as Zac turned and rushed out of the room, running across the landing and down the steps into the bullpen.

"Zac!" Emily called out, running past Hotch and following in her son's footsteps, "Zac!" she called out again, unaware that Hotch was close behind her.

As he reached Spencer's desk, Zac turned to face Emily and Hotch, his cheeks stained with tears. He reached up to wipe the tears away, "I mourned you! You were dead! You…" he choked on his words, mid-sentence, before swallowing over the lump in his throat, "You are dead."

Emily watched in agony as her son turned and walked away, not waiting for the elevator and opting for the stairs. When the door slammed shut behind him, Emily's grief suddenly turned into anger, and she turned to find Hotch only a few steps behind her. She walked up to him, standing close enough that he could feel her breath on his face. As the emotions sprang up in her belly, Emily threw her fists against Hotch's chest, taking her rage out on his solid form.

"Why?" Emily cried out, "Why was he here? Why did you tell him?"

Hotch said nothing, wondering how this could have all gone so horribly wrong. He had anticipated Zac would turn his anger towards him, not towards his mom, and now Emily was heartbroken. Hotch didn't protest as Emily beat her hands against his chest, knowing that she needed to blame someone, knowing that she needed to get the anger out, and he was an easy target. He could take it, and he would take it. This was part of the process and he wasn't about to abandon her now, just because things were difficult.

Reaching his hands up to grip Emily's shoulders, he squeezed gently, trying to pull her towards him, in an effort to comfort her. But instead of comfort, Emily felt nothing.

"Don't Hotch," Emily said softly. She pushed her way out of Hotch's arms and shrugged his hands from her body, shaking her head and refusing to look him in the eye as she continued to step away from him. She couldn't do this here, she couldn't break down in the goddamn bullpen, and she needed to find her son. She needed to fix this. Hotch had gone to Zac without her, telling him that she was alive, and now... she sighed... she had no idea how to make this better.

"Emily, we need to talk about this," Hotch urged, wanting to reach out for her, but mindful that the team were watching this unfold.

Emily sniffed, dropping her head and staring at the floor, "I don't have anything to say to you Aaron, and there's nothing I want to hear," she replied, before she turned and ran out of the unit, following Zac's path and taking the stairs. If she was fast enough, she might be able to catch him before he left the building.

Hotch stood still, watching Emily disappear and wishing he could run after her. For seven months he had been waiting for this moment, and now that it was finally here, he was screwing it all up. He knew that he needed to respect her space and if he tried to force her to talk right now, he could ruin everything… or make it worse. But a part of him needed to know that they would be alright, and that part wanted him to run after Emily and make her talk to him... make her listen to him. Both sides of his brain were equally in charge, so he just stood still.

Hotch could feel the eyes of the rest of the team on him, and he felt his heart beat hard in his chest. He felt like running and he felt like punching something… and he felt like throwing up. He could do none of those things while he was being watched, so all he could do was stand there.

JJ stepped forward, placing a small hand on Hotch's shoulder in an attempt to offer some semblance of support, "Just give them time," she said softly.

Hotch shook his head and dropped his chin to his chest, moving away from her and walking back up the stairs and into his office.

When they heard Hotch's office door slam, and saw the frames on the wall shake, the rest of the team knew it was time to go home.