A/N: Kathlyn4060 and vickyvicky890, thank you so much for the lovely reviews! You guys had me in tears. I'm so glad you are enjoying the story, and I hope you love the rest of the chapters.

Chapter 16: Another Day Without You (Walk Away, by Ben Harper)

Jessica glanced over at Jack, kicking the ball against the brick wall, and she smiled as she dropped down onto the porch swing. She took a sip of her coffee and glanced over at Hotch, smiling softly as he sipped his coffee. There was something sad about him, which Jessica found strange, given the woman he loved had come back to him. Jessica had assumed that he would be ecstatic, in fact, she had assumed that Emily would've already moved in. She had no idea why they were wasting time, when they'd already lost so much.

There were so many questions that Jessica had for Hotch, but she decided to ease her way into it. If she rushed at him with too many, or too intrusive, questions, especially questions he didn't want to answer, he'd run away and she might never get him back. So, she decided it was best to ask questions that were on the periphery of what she needed to know, and gradually work her way up to it.

"So, how's the team dealing with Emily's return?"

Hotch bit his lip and shrugged, staring down at his cup of coffee, "Everyone has reacted differently. Garcia and JJ are thrilled to have their friend back. I think Rossi knew the whole time, and Morgan moves between being pissed off at me and being completely fine with it all…" Hotch paused and shook his head, "I'm most worried about Reid… he's obviously glad to have Emily back, but there's still some work to do with him."

Jessica nodded and turned back to watch Jack, who had moved on from kicking the ball, to playing with the jar of bubbles she had brought with her today. It was a little bit of silly fun to keep Jack outside for the final weeks before it would be too cold to play in the yard, and it was a good way to occupy him while she and Aaron talked.

"And what about you, Aaron?"

Hotch huffed and shook his head, unsure of how to respond to Jessica's question. The two sat in silence for a moment, Hotch debating how much to tell Jessica about everything that was going on in his mind. It wasn't that he thought she would be angry if he told her about his true feelings for Emily, but Haley would always be her sister, so Hotch knew to tread carefully. That being said, Hotch had started to rely on Jessica as a wise sounding board, and felt like he could at least run this past her, killing two birds with one stone in that he would have a chance to process the situation AND would be able to test the waters on Jessica's reaction.

"I'm…" he paused and cleared her throat, "I know I did the right thing in telling Zac the truth, he deserved to know and I'm the one who's been spending this time with him since Emily had to leave… I just wish I could find a way to help Emily understand why I did what I did."

"I suppose it's hard for her to know, since she hasn't been around this whole time that Zac's been getting to know all of us," Jessica replied, reaching over to squeeze Hotch's hand, "What have you done to try and explain it all to her?"

Hotch shrugged, "I tried to get her to talk the other night at the office, after Strauss told us about the outcome of the hearing," he explained.

Jessica furrowed her brow, a gentle smile on her lips as she looked over at Hotch and huffed, "For a smart guy, you can be a little clueless Aaron," she replied, "And I mean that with all the love in the world…" she paused and bit her lip at the confused look on his face, "… you ambushed her, and from what you and Zac have told me about Emily, when she feels cornered or threatened, she runs away. Maybe you need to find a way to talk to her when she's not in the office, surrounded by the FBI."

Hotch huffed, realising that he'd never really thought about it in that way before, which was embarrassing. For him, the office was like a second home, and he had just assumed that Emily still found comfort in the walls of the BAU. It had never occurred to him that, after seven months away from the FBI, Emily might need a gentler approach to this conversation. Hotch nodded and reached up to wrap his arm around Jessica's shoulder, squeezing her into his side, "I suppose I could find another place to convince her to let me explain myself," he replied, "You're pretty wise there, Jessica Brooks."

Jessica huffed, "And if you guys can put this all behind you, maybe you can move forward with the rest of it," she said, feeling a slight nervousness at raising the subject, but knowing that Hotch needed to talk about the other part of the story. Step one would be him explaining to Emily why he had told Zac about her return before she could play a part in it. Step two would be convincing Emily to give their relationship another chance. Since he'd told her that Emily was still alive, Jessica had been preparing herself for that inevitability. She'd spent time thinking about what Haley would want, and that had brought her to the conclusion that Haley wanted Hotch and Jack to be happy.

Hotch furrowed his brow, moving his hand from Jessica's shoulder and resting it on the back of the swing seat, "Uh… what do you mean?" he asked, wanting to clarify what Jessica was talking about before he put his foot in his mouth.

Jessica bit her lip, her eyes sparkling as she contemplated giving Hotch her approval for his relationship with Emily, "You have feelings for her, Aaron, and I know that you talking to her about Zac is one thing, but you need to tell her about the rest of it as well."

Hotch's heart beat grew faster and louder in his chest, and he could feel the palms of his hands sweating. He swallowed hard over the lump in his throat, "I…" he cleared his throat, slightly confused by the elated look on Jessica's face, where he'd been expecting fear and loathing. He dropped his chin to his chest and shook his head, "I love her, Jess."

Jessica chuckled and pat Hotch's leg, "I know that, Zac knows that… hell, Jack knows that… it's about time you owned up to it, Aaron," she replied with a smile.

Hotch wrinkled his brow and shook his head, amazed at the turn this conversation had taken. He'd truly been expecting Jessica to be upset, but her reaction was beyond anything he could have hoped for. It wasn't like he needed her blessing, but to have her backing him when he decided it was time to try again and convince Emily to give them a chance, it was definitely something he wanted. Jessica had been so open already, bringing Zac into the fold and trusting him, and now, it seemed that Hotch had everyone behind him in making their family official.

"So… you're not upset?" Hotch asked, glancing at Jessica and watching her face carefully for any signs that she might be putting on a happy face for his benefit, "I figured you'd be against it, just on principle."

Jessica shook her head, smiling sadly, "Aaron, you're my brother and I love you. Of course, I want you to be happy and as much as I wish that you could have this second chance with Haley, that's not how it worked out. Emily is back, and you love her, and I think she needs to know that…" Jessica paused and shrugged, "That is, if she wants it too… does she?"

Hotch let out a sigh and shook his head, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees, "I thought she did," he replied, "When I saw her in the office, before it all went horribly wrong, I thought we were going to say it, but now… after what happened… I just don't know anymore."

"Don't waste this chance, Aaron," Jessica said, resting a hand on Hotch's shoulder, "You have something that most people only get to dream of. And if you don't tell her, if you don't take the lead and make her hear you, you might just lose her forever."

"I want to tell her," Hotch explained, standing up from the seat and turning to lean against the brick railing and shook his head, "She just won't let me talk to her about it."

"You know Emily better than anyone," Jessica urged, "Find a way. You find a place, away from Quantico, and you find the right words and you don't let her stop you from telling her. You deserve to at least be able to say the words, and she deserves to hear them. How she responds is up to her, but you'll never know what could have been if you don't at least try."

Hotch crossed his arms across his chest and nodded, looking down at his feet. When he looked up, he found Jessica looking up at him, tears in her eyes. He held out his hand and she took it, letting him pull her out of the seat and into a hug.

"Thank you, Jess. You're an amazing sister," Hotch whispered softly against Jessica's hair, "I hope you know how much I appreciate you."

Jessica huffed and shrugged, "What does Zac always say, Aaron?" she replied, squeezing his shoulders softly.

Hotch snorted, resting his head on Jessica's hair, "Family doesn't say thanks."

Emily juggled the grocery bags in her arms as she made her way up the front path, stepping quickly up the couple of steps onto the front stoop and pushing her key into the lock. As she made her way through the front door, she smiled at the image she spotted on the entry-table and, even though the bags were starting to cut off circulation to her fingers, she took a moment to look at the photo.

After they had Declan back with them, safe and sound, Tom and Emily had been spending time with him, trying to remind him that he would always have them in his life. They'd spent an afternoon at Elizabeth and Simon's house, and Simon had taken the photo of the three of them, sitting on one of the sofas in the backyard. The photo showed the relative calm that had settled over each of them, relishing in the relaxation that came with the end of eight years of stress and worry.

Emily sighed, a gentle smile growing on her face as she dropped her keys next to the photo frame and made her way through the dining room and into the kitchen. She liked this new house better than the last. It was more open, and she felt like that was a sign of how things had changed for all of them. They felt free to live a more open life, and this house was their new beginning as a family.

As she began to unpack the groceries, Emily furrowed her brow, wondering where the boys were. It wasn't usually this quiet and, even though she was finally starting to relax back into her life in DC, she couldn't stop the worry that planted itself in her mind. Once the bags were empty, Emily packed them away and put them on the entry-table with her keys, before she set off in search of Tom and Declan.

The house was silent, so Emily figured she'd check outside first. She slid the doors open that led from the breakfast nook and onto the back patio, rubbing her hands over her arms as the cool fall breeze hit her. She made her way down the steps from the patio and onto the small patch of grass, smiling as she found the boys tossing a football between them.

"Hey!" Tom said brightly, throwing the football to Emily and smiling when she caught it, "What are you doing here? Don't you have a dinner to get to?"

Emily threw the ball to Declan and shrugged, "Rossi's house is just down the road," she explained with a smile, "And I figured I could stock up your fridge, since you seem to be incapable of buying vegetables."

Declan laughed and looked to Tom, "I told you so," he teased, looking back at Emily as she caught the ball, "I bet Dad ten dollars you'd bring vegetables next time you came around."

Emily's jaw dropped and she shook her head, tossing the ball to Tom with a little more gusto than he was expecting, "I cannot believe you guys…" she paused and raised her eyebrows, "I suppose I could also take Effie's red velvet cupcakes home with me too."

Declan bit his lip and looked to Tom, before he turned back to Emily and walked up to her, "You are an angel, and I'm so lucky to have you in my life," he said, squeezing her shoulders with a sly smile.

Emily let out a chuckle and shook her head, "You're lucky you're cute," she teased, pinching his nose.

"Does that mean I can go and have a cupcake?" Declan asked, grinning when Emily nodded, "Thanks Emily!" he called out as he ran up the stairs.

Tom made his way over to Emily and pulled her into a hug, "So… how was your first case back?" he asked, stepping back and squeezing her shoulders. He'd been worried about her starting back at work so soon, but now that Declan had started school again, there wasn't enough to keep her distracted. When Emily wasn't busy and had too much time to think, the results could be disastrous. At least being back at work, even though there were countless unresolved issues there, Emily was occupied with hunting monsters.

Emily shrugged and let out a puff of air, "Uh… it wasn't bad," she replied, "I mean… not the looking at dead bodies part of it, but you know…" she paused and licked her lips nervously, "… is it weird to say I'm glad to be back?"

Tom huffed and shook his head, wrapping an arm around Emily's shoulder as he started them up the stairs to the house, "Not at all," he replied, "How's the team stuff going?"

"Well," Emily said with a sigh, "That's the whole point of tonight… some time as a family to repair some of the damage."

Tom nodded, pushing the door open and letting Emily step inside first, before he followed and slid the door closed again, "Anyone in particular giving you trouble?" he asked, ruffling his hand through Declan's hair as he passed him at the kitchen counter.

"Reid and Morgan seem to be having the biggest problems with it all," Emily explained, holding up the Tupperware container for Tom to take a cupcake, "But we'll get there… just takes time."

"And what about Hotch?" Tom asked with a raised eyebrow, "You talked to him yet?"

Emily bit her lip, glancing up at Declan before she looked back to Tom with a furrowed brow, "I have," she replied succinctly, smiling softly and Declan and tipping her head towards the door that led to the basement, "I'm just going to check if you guys have laundry that needs doing, while I have time to kill."

Declan nodded, "Ok... I have some homework to do before Monday, so I'll be up in my room," he replied as he stood from the desk. He smiled as Emily held out the Tupperware for him to take another cupcake, "Come say goodbye before you leave."

Emily nodded and started towards the basement, knowing that Tom would only be a couple of steps behind, but at least she had a minute to prepare what she wanted to say. She knew that he didn't understand her logic, but she didn't need to make him understand. It wasn't his life, so what should it matter to him.

"And?" Tom probed as he followed Emily down the stairs to the basement. He knew he was testing his luck with Emily, but he also knew that Emily sometimes needed a little push.

"And what?" Emily asked, "What is there to say? It's not going to happen."

"I love you, Em," Tom said, shaking his head, "But you're an idiot."

"Jesus Tom, thanks for the hug," she replied, raising her voice for a moment as she reached into the dryer to unload the sheets that were waiting to be folded, "I'm not going to get into this with you… you know where I stand on the issue of me and Hotch, and I don't see how bringing it up every time we talk is going to change that?"

"I do know where you stand, and you know where I stand," Tom remarked as he took one end of the flat sheet Emily was folding, "If Hannah was still alive, nothing would stop me from being with her. And you have a chance, Em. You're just scared."

"You don't know what you're talking about," Emily replied, shaking her head and, "I'm not scared. I just know how it would all work out."

"Ok, genius," Tom said, shaking his head as he brought his end of the sheet up to meet Emily's, "Say you told Hotch how you felt, and you two decided to give it a shot… how would it work out?"

Emily rolled her eyes, taking the folded sheet and dropping it onto the counter, before she turned back to help Tom fold the fitted sheet he'd removed from the dryer, "He'd never get past the things I did when I was with the Agency," Emily explained, "He would say he was fine with my past, but I know him… it would all come up eventually…" she paused and shook her head, "I'm just trying to stop that from happening, so that I can stay with the team."

Tom rested his hands on his hips as Emily reached into the dryer for the pillow cases, wondering if he should tell her about his trip to Rossi's house. He'd kept it to himself, but after Hotch had left, Tom had kept talking with Rossi about the situation, and now he was sure. Hotch was in love with Emily, and since he already knew that Emily felt the same way, Tom couldn't understand what Emily was waiting for.

"I went to Rossi's house," Tom said quickly, figuring that ripping off the bandaid was the best approach.

"What are you talking about?" Emily asked, frowning as she reached into the washer and pulled out the clothes that were inside, throwing them into the dryer.

"When Penelope and JJ came around to your apartment for drinks that night, and Will had Declan," Tom replied, watching Emily's face carefully, "I guess, Rossi had invited the guys around for pizza, and Will sent me a text while I was out, asking me if I wanted to join them."

"Wait…" Emily said, holding up one finger while she pressed the start button on the dryer before she turned back to face Tom, "You went to Rossi's place, to hang out with the guys on my team?"

Tom nodded, shoving his hands in his pockets, "I suppose they wanted to make sure I was taking care of you and Declan, and…" he paused and shrugged, "… they wanted to know if there was anything going on between us. So I explained that we were just friends, and…"

"And what, Tom?" Emily sighed as she crossed her arms across her chest, closing her eyes for a moment in an attempt to calm herself, "What did you tell them?"

Tom sighed, "I didn't tell them anything they hadn't already figured out for themselves," he explained, "If it helps, I think the guys on the team would be fine with you and Hotch."

"Goddamnit Tom! Just stay out of it," Emily begged, "Please. Trust me when I say that I know what I need. I need to fix my relationship with Zac, I need to make sure that Declan is alright, and I need to find reasons to stay here, because I'm having a lot of trouble feeling like I'm meant to be here, in DC. All of that leaves zero room for anything… or anyone… else."

"Em," Tom said softly, stepping forward to grip Emily by the elbows.

Emily sighed and dropped her head to Tom's shoulder, bringing her arms up around his neck as he locked his hands at her back, "I just need you to trust me, that I know what I'm doing, and I need you to drop it…" she paused, "… because I need you in my life, and I don't want to keep having this fight."

Tom nodded, tucking his chin into Emily's shoulder and letting out a sigh, "Ok… I promise, I'll drop it," he replied, holding her against him for a moment and running his hands over her back in an effort to calm her down. He didn't want to push her away, any more than he already had, and he didn't want her to follow through on any idle threats to leave again. Emily was someone who had methods of disappearing, and at the moment, there wasn't a lot keeping her here. Her relationship with Zac was a mess. Her relationship with Hotch was a mess. Right now, only Declan and the team were keeping her still.

Tom resolved to respect Emily's wishes, to not interfere in her relationship with Zac and to keep his nose out of her relationship with Hotch. He still believed she was being a fool, but she was one of his closest friends, and he didn't want to cause her any more pain than he already had.

When he felt her breathing even out, Tom took a step back, offering Emily a gentle smile, "What time do you have to be at Rossi's?" he asked, "If you don't mind staying with Dec for a bit, I'd love to run down to the hardware store and get some paint samples for his new room."

"Aaron," Rossi said quickly, "So good to see you, but I'm running a little bit behind, so I'm going to have to get you inside quickly and run upstairs for a quick shower," Rossi remarked, hurrying Hotch into the house, "You know where everything is, so help yourself to a drink. I'll be back in ten minutes…" Rossi paused as he started up the stairs, "… Oh and Emily's out the back. You guys are the first ones here."

Hotch nodded and offered a tempered smile to his friend, who continued up the stairs and disappeared down the hallway. Now on his own, Hotch made his way down the hall towards the kitchen, stopping to pour himself a glass of water and drinking it quickly, as he pondered over his choices. He wondered if he should find somewhere else to hide out while Rossi was upstairs, or if he should go and join Emily. He'd been trying hard to give her space, but this was a setting he wasn't really prepared for.

As he placed his empty glass on the counter, Hotch considered his options. He could stay inside, maybe head into the den and hide away until the others arrived, or he could go outside and join Emily, making sure to keep all topics of conversation as light as possible until the others arrived... pretty much all of his options were just stall tactics to get them through until someone else on the team was there to act as a buffer.

Hotch decided that he couldn't be rude, so he made his way outside, stepping out onto the large patio, where he found Emily, looking out over the large lawn. A scenario ran through his mind where he walked up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist and kissing her neck. He shook the thought from his head and cleared his throat, smiling softly as she turned around.

"Oh hi," Emily said gently, smiling back at Hotch. He looked handsome in his jeans and polo, but his thin face still had her worried. All those weeks in the desert… or maybe all those months of stress… she couldn't be sure which. Regardless, the casual look on Hotch always caused Emily's stomach to jump and she was tempted to throw her resolve out the window and just kiss him. Every fibre in her being told her to do it, but she couldn't put him through any more. She had to keep her hands, and her lips, to herself.

"Beautiful night," Hotch remarked, feeling awkward in his interactions with Emily in a way that had never been a problem for them before. They'd been in such a good rhythm before she'd left for Paris, and now he felt like he was constantly walking on eggshells around her. He hated this feeling and would give anything to just go back to the way it was before.

Emily raised her eyebrows and nodded, "It really is," she replied, "I didn't get to see the stars in Paris… the city lights are too bright."

Hotch frowned, "Emily," he started, causing her to look up, "I know you told me you don't want to talk about... well... everything," he raised his hands as she tried to speak, "I promise, I'm not going to make you talk. I just wanted to say that I'm really happy that you're back..." he paused and shrugged, "I missed you."

Emily nodded, swallowing over the lump in her throat, "I missed you too," she replied.

Hotch huffed, shoving his hands in his pockets, "I feel like an idiot," he said softly, looking up at her confused face and offering a crooked smile, "I wasted so much time, and now…"

Emily nodded, "I know what you mean… we had more than our share of chances, didn't we?" she asked, resulting in a nod from Hotch, "I hear you've been spending time with Zac?"

Hotch nodded, "Yeah… uh… your letter inspired him to reach out," he explained nervously, "He seemed to have a fairly good idea of what we… I mean…" Hotch paused and rolled his eyes, "Maybe it'll be easier if you just ask the questions you have about that."

Emily shrugged as she took a moment to think, "Has he been staying with you?" she asked, "Since I came back?"

"Yes and no," Hotch explained, "He's mostly been staying with Lucy in Philadelphia, but he came back into town for a few days last week to meet with his supervisor and he stayed at my place while he was in town."

"Lucy?" Emily asked with a furrowed brow, "Wait... you mean… Goose?"

Hotch nodded, "We went to Martha's Vineyard over the summer and they… reconnected," he explained, a small smile growing on his face, "Jack's a pretty big fan of hers."

Emily felt a tightness in her chest, and she crossed her arms, biting her lip to ward off the tears. That method didn't seem to work, and Emily felt a sob rip through her body without permission. She turned away from Hotch and wrapped her arms around her waist, trying to avoid any looks from him that might suggest pity. She didn't think she could manage if he started to see her as something even more broken than she was before. It was something she'd started to worry about since being back, that Hotch or the Bureau might see her as too damaged, and she'd be "encouraged" to consider moving on. But all of that burying had led to this moment, and many like it since her return, where she'd break down in the most unfortunate of places.

Hotch watched, his own heart breaking as Emily closed in on herself. He reached out to her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders, and was relieved when she locked her arms around his waist. As he brought up his second arm, wrapping her up against his chest, her head dropped to his shoulder and he felt her tears on his neck. The whole thing was breaking Hotch's resolve, and he was tempted to convince her to skip out on the family dinner and go somewhere quiet where they could talk. Emily didn't need to be alone in all of this, and Hotch was more than willing to be there with her for every step of this process, but her stubbornness seemed to have taken over since she'd returned.

"Shhh…" Hotch whispered against her hair, the smell of coconut calming him like it had all those times before, "It's ok." As much as it pained him to hear how much she was hurting, this moment gave him the chance to hold her for the first time in days. He felt like her body was made to fit against his perfectly, and he couldn't imagine letting go of her... until she started to let go of him.

Emily shook her head and stood up straight, running her fingers under her eyes and smiling shyly, "I'm sorry," she said softly, "I don't know why I keep getting upset, but this isn't fair to you."

Hotch frowned and shook his head, reaching over to tuck Emily's stray hair behind her ear, "Em, it's ok to fall apart sometimes, especially with me…" he said softly, "You'll always be safe with me."

Emily sniffed, looking up to the sky and shaking her head, before she brought her gaze back down to Hotch, "I need you to stop being so nice to me, Aaron," she said softly, clutching at her chest, "I'm not the same person who left seven months ago… you're not the same person…" she paused and shook her head, "... I love you, but I can't do this."

Hotch's heart caught in his chest at the sounds of the words he'd been waiting to hear, but the sentence Emily had tacked on the end made his resolve drop. She loved him, but... "Emily," Hotch begged, reaching out for her, but Emily held up her hands and shook her head.

"No, Aaron," Emily sniffed, "I have to focus on Zac… and Declan," she said softly, patting his chest, "I know you think you know me, but you really don't and I think, when it comes down to it, the things I've had to do… they'd break us in the end," she shook her head, gesturing between the two of them, "So as much as it breaks my heart… this can't happen."

Hotch opened his mouth to speak, but stopped when JJ and Garcia made their way through the large French doors and onto the patio. Emily turned away, trying to clean her face up and hide any evidence that she'd been crying, and Hotch looked down at his shoes.

"Sorry to interrupt," JJ said softly, making her way over to Emily and running her hand over her back. She looked back at Hotch with a sad smile and nodded towards the house, "Morgan and Rossi are in the kitchen getting everything ready," she explained.

"We'll take care of her," Garcia whispered to Hotch, patting his shoulder, "You go on back inside."

Hotch nodded reluctantly, and turned to walk back into the house, pausing at the door to look back at the women. He let out a puff of air as he watched JJ clean up Emily's face, and as he heard his name being called from the kitchen, Hotch was broken from his thoughts about what Emily had just said. Knowing that their family was coming together tonight, he had to file those thoughts away and come back to them later, because if something was keeping them apart, and he had a chance to fix it, he would. He'd do anything for Emily… he just had to show her.